Dempsey and Makepeace: Life is hard
by Berengloren
Summary: Based on a true story! Now that Dempsey flew back to London to support Makepeace during probably the hardest time in her life, will they put their problems aside or will they create even more?
1. Chapter 1

It was 8 pm that Tuesday night when Dempsey got that phone call that turned his whole life upside down. A phone call he never expected to receive anymore because it had been two years since the last time he saw and spoke to the man on the other side of the line.

"Dempsey?" the man said "If my daughter knew I have finally been able to reach you she would probably kill me, but I'm glad she doesn't know that yet"

"Lord Winfield?" Dempsey was surprised to hear the man's voice but on the other hand he knew instinctly that there must be something terribly wrong.

"I have the feeling that you didn't phone me for nothing. Is there something wrong with Harry?" when he had said that, he got a strange feeling in his stomach mixed with fear. Harry.... only thinking on her brought back such sweet and tender memories. He still had no idea why she didn't contact him anymore these last two years.

"Yes James. Your feeling is right. Harry isn't doing well right now. She probably will never admit it but I believe you are the only one who's able to help her at the moment" and then slowly Lord Winfield started to tell him the whole story. With every word, James was even shocked more. This couldn't be true. This wasn't happening. Not to Harry!

At the end James could only say one thing: "I'll book a flight to England and come over as soon as possible"

"Thank you" was all that Lord Winfield could say to him, "Thank you very much!"

*********

And now he was standing on Heathrow Airport. Back then he still had had the idea that he would be back very soon. Not that it would be taken two very long and extremely lonely years.

Outside the airport he rented a car and drove to Harry's home. Lord Winfield had told him that she was still living in the same house and James was glad that he had saved the spare key set of the house that Harry ones had given to him because she became tired of all the times that he broke in into her house.

When he entered the house and closed the door behind him, he realised that he had missed everything more then he expected. The living room reminded him on the last evening he had spent in London before he flew back to New York. How he and Harry set on the couch for hours and how they made love upstairs later in the bedroom. Holding each other very tight, trying to comfort the other, but both failing to do so. On all the promises they had made to keep in touch with each other and on that point Dempsey thought that she meant it as much as he did but obvious he had had it all wrong.

After been to a restaurant to eat something, he drove to the hospital. Lord Winfield had told him that it wasn't a problem that visiting hours probably were over for that day by the time he arrived there. But that he would be welcome every hour of the day. He had made that arrangement with the nursing staff and to be honest Dempsey was glad that he had done that, that he hadn't had to wait till the next day before he would be able to see and to speak to Harry.

Inside the hospital he had to ask twice for the right direction before he reached level 11 and the room where Harry was laying. A nurse came up to him saying that he wasn't allowed to get in anymore, but when he said his name the nurse only smiled and whispered: "I'm glad you came".

"How is she doing?" he asked with great concern.

"Well, what do you want to know? Mentally or physically?" she answered, opening a file that she was holding in her hand.

"Both"

The nurse took a sheet out of the file and started to read it. Then she looked up at him with a worried look on her face.

"My shift just started so I had to fill in myself first, but from what I read here, some people, including her father, had heard her saying that she doesn't want to live anymore if there will be no changes in her life conditions in the near future"

Dempsey only could look at her with even more concern on his face and that was obvious because the nurse laid a hand on his arm and said: "This happened more to people in the same condition as Mrs. Makepeace, but it's a serious thing and we really have to do everything that's possible to give her the courage to look further"

"What can I do? How can I help?"

"I guess only your presents here will make a great difference. Tell her that she doesn't have to do it alone. That's what most patients here worried the most about. But they forget that they had family and friends around them to help and that they need there support. That's the most important thing we advise: supporting, telling the patient not to give up hope immediately. There's so much possible these days, but the patient itself had to fight for it, without the will of the patient we can't do anything"

The nurse put the sheet back in the file. "Mrs. Makepeace condition isn't hopeless." Then she pointed in the other side of the hallway.

"That's her room. You can stay as long as you wish"

With these words the nurse left him alone. Dempsey saw her leaving and he took a deep breath before he opened the door to Harry's room. He had no idea what to expect inside. Harry was lying on her back in bed with her eyes closed and obviously didn't hear him entering the room. Slowly he made his way up to her. She still didn't react. For a short moment of time, he looked down at her. He couldn't help it but his view went automatically to the right side of her body. Her right arm was laying on the sheets it seems without any life in it. He felt so hopeless; he wished he could do something for her.

"Harry" he whispered quietly. No reaction.

"Harry" he tried again. "Harry, it's me"

Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He had expected everything but not the horrified look he saw laying into them.

"You?" when saying that she tried to get up to sit higher in her bed but failed.

Dempsey immediately reached his hands out to help her but she pushed them away with the words: "Don't touch me! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came as soon as I found out"

"I don't need your sympathy. And how did you find out?" but then realising something she continued: "My father. It was him, wasn't he?

Dempsey could only admit that. "I'm glad he informed me"

"Well, I'm not. Where were you when I needed you the most? Well?"

Confused Dempsey shruggled his shoulders.

"What do you mean?"

"That doesn't matter anymore. I have been able to handle my own life the last 2 years so I'll be able to handle this as well. Go back to New York, I don't need you here!"

After saying these words she closed her eyes again. But Dempsey wasn't finished yet.

"Harry look at me" but she didn't react. "Harry! I'm not going anywhere, not before we talked this out"

"There's nothing to talk about. So will you please go!"

"No! Why are you so mad at me? I thought you would be thrilled to see me again?"

"Thrilled?" Harry opened her eyes again. "Thrilled? After all you have done to me?"

"Done? As far as I know, I didn't do anything"

"That's exactly what I mean"

"Meaning what? Sorry, but I have no idea where you are talking about" Dempsey had taken a chair and was putting it beside Harry's bed now to sit down.

"I see, you have no intention of leaving" Harry said, seeing what he was doing.

"No, of course not. Let's change the subject. How are you feeling?"

Harry gave him a weak smile before answering Dempsey's question: "Hopeless"

"It's not hopeless, a nurse told me that, but you have to believe in it"

"I'm not believing in anything anymore"

"Harry? I understand that. That's why I'm here. To help you. Harry? Let me help you" Dempsey took Harry's left hand into his.

"As long as you need me, I'll be here."

"Oh great. And after that? Will you disappear then again, leaving me alone as you did 2 years ago?"

Dempsey developed Harry's hand now between both of his own hands.

"I never disappeared, but I never heard from you so I thought you moved on with your life and that there was no place in it for me anymore"

Harry was a little confused now. Something didn't sound quiet right here.

"But you never gave me a number how to reach you!" Harry said.

"I did. Soon after I had my new apartment I gave you my number. I even phoned you that first week that I was back every single evening but I got every time that damned answering machine of yours"

Harry looked at Dempsey in total disbelief now. Then slowly she started to remember something.

"I wasn't at home that first week after you left. I asked Spikings for a week off, I went to Winfield Hall, I couldn't get my mind focused on the job. Every time I entered his office, in my imagination I saw you standing there that last time and when I came back it took me 2 weeks to discover that my answering machine was broken"

"You could have contact me at the NYPD" Dempsey wondered why she hadn't think of that.

"I did, but they say there that they wouldn't forward personal messages!"

When Dempsey heard that, he started to get angry. "Damned!" he stood up from his chair and was passing the room.

"I'll never forget that horrible night in Spikings office"

Dempsey turned around and when he saw Harry looking back at him, he knew that she had never forget that night either.

It had been Sunday. They had spent the day together after a whole week of working. They went to the park, had lunch and then went home to Harry's apartment to have a quiet evening. But that evening was ruined by Spikings demanding them both at the office. The man had refused to tell them what was going on and at the office first wanted to speak with Dempsey alone. That was quiet unusual and Harry waited outside becoming more and more nervous as time past by.

Finally Spikings opened the door telling Harry that Dempsey wanted to speak to her. The man himself left and Harry entered the room. Dempsey was standing in the corner with his back to her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, thinking that it had something to do with one of their cases, but when Dempsey turned around, she saw something in his eyes, she had never seen in them before: tears.

"Harry" he started. "Harry, I'm so sorry"

"What? What do you mean?" Deep inside her, a terrible feeling started to grow. A feeling mixed with fear.

"I felt so sure, that I've never told you about it, I wanted to surprise you" Harry wanted to interrupt him but he made a gesture not to do so. So she just took a chair and Dempsey set beside her.

"Here. It's better that you read it yourself" He gave her a piece of paper. "I tried everything. Please believe me, but for the moment they won't give me a permanent job here. I can try it again in 3 months time or so"

With shaking hands Harry read the piece of paper Dempsey had given to her. There it was stating that he had to leave England after his 12 months were over. That he could try to get a permanent job in London, but that he had to work another 3 months in New York first before they could consider his request.

When Harry read that she had the idea or her whole world had fallen apart.

"Harry, I don't know what to say. I never expected this. I behaved myself the last few months by not shooting everyone and we finally got together as a couple, I felt so happy about that and now...... I don't know anymore what to do. Of course I'll try it again in 3 months time. Hopefully they will accept my request then. "

After that Harry couldn't hold herself together anymore and she felt the tears running down her cheek. Dempsey tried to comfort her, but she could feel his tears running down as well. Maybe he didn't even notice that.

Half an hour later they had left the SI10 and went to Harry's apartment as they planned earlier. Harry felt miserable, she had such great news to tell Dempsey herself and she had planned to do that this evening, but now she knew that she couldn't do that. Not as this moment. So she became silent and even didn't tell him when he indeed flew back to New York 2 weeks later.


	2. Chapter 2

Dempsey hesitated for a moment. Now that it was clear to him that Harry remembered that awful day as well, he couldn't imagine why she wasn't pleased to see him. It really didn't made any sense how she behaved against him. But just as he wanted to ask for a more descent explanation from her, the door opened behind him and the same nurse he met before came in.

"I'm really sorry for you Sir, but it's time for Mrs Makepeace to get some sleep. You can come back tomorrow morning as you wish"

"No!" was the answer that came from the bed. Both Dempsey as the nurse turned around to look at Harry in total disbelieve.

"I don't want him here anymore!" she said. "If he shows up here again I'll scream so hard that they could hear me all over London!"

The nurse and Dempsey exchanged a look.

"Harry?" Dempsey turned over to Harry's bed again.

"Just go away and leave me alone. Go back to New York. I don't need your here. Do you hear me?"

"I know her. She didn't mean a word of it. Right Harry?" Dempsey tried to convince both himself as the nurse who was just standing there and had no idea what to say or to do.

But Harry only looked at him and whispered: "Will you bet?"

"Okay, Okay. I'm leaving" Dempsey said before he turned over to the bed trying to give Harry a kiss on her cheek, but to his surprise and horror she turned her head away from him.

"Alright I'm getting the message. Bye Harry"

Slowly he started to walk to the door followed by the nurse.

"I'm sure she'll change her mind"

With a weak smile Dempsey looked down on her.

"I don't think so. Maybe she's right and wasn't it such a good idea to show up here. I don't know" and with these words he left the room closing the door behind him.

When Harry saw Dempsey leaving her room, her first impulse was to scream after him that she indeed hadn't mean a word of it, but she didn't. It would be too complicated when he stayed. It was better that he indeed went back to New York for both of them and that he didn't know anything.

Later Dempsey had no idea how he went back to Harry's house. He must have been driven pure on his instincts because the whole way to it was one black hole to him. After entering the house he throw his car keys on the table in the hall and walked over to the kitchen. He opened one of the cardboards for a glass and filled it with water and tried to figure out what the reason could be that she haven't been pleased to see him. Slowly a little fear started to grow. Maybe she indeed had moved on with her life and she was with someone else now. Someone that she loved and was afraid of that he should meet? But why had her father contact him then? "If" she had someone else, her father must have know that. Or maybe he didn't. How long had it taken before she had finally admit to her father that they were a couple? That also had taken a few weeks. And if it hadn't been for the Christmas holiday and Lord Winfield had invited him as well, maybe the old man would have never knew it.

Still totally blank, Dempsey picked his bag up from the hall and walked upstairs. For a short moment of time he hesitated in front of Harry's bedroom but sleeping there would make everything even worse so he walked over to the room on the other side where he had slept so many times before when he had stayed over night in the time there had been nothing between them, that they were just working partners. But when Dempsey tried to open the door, he found the door locked. He tried it again without any luck. And there was no key to open it either. Strange. Harry had always trusted him in her house and now that she was away..... But then Dempsey realised something. Lord Winfield had said that they had taken Harry away to the hospital and that there hasn't been a warning before about what should happen so she must have locked the door before, because she wouldn't have been able to do it later anymore. What was so important in that room now that she had the door locked every time after she had entered it?

When he then at last entered Harry's bedroom, he stood still for a short moment of time trying to block every memory out of his mind of the last nights he had slept here in the past. But he failed miserably. And that the sheets of the bed lay open with Harry's nightdress on it so that it looked or she could walk in every minute, didn't make it any better. But he wouldn't think about that. He had to get some sleep, he had been awake now for more then 24 hours. But every time he turned around he smelt Harry's perfume on the pillow. So after 2 hours he gave up and walked downstairs and stretched himself on the sofa. It doesn't take long before he finally started to drift away waking up every hour after having one nightmare after an other in which Harry every time showed up.

In another part of London, someone else also had nightmares. After the nurse had made some preparations for Harry for the night, she had left the room. Harry could feel that she was angry at her, angry about what she had said to Dempsey earlier that evening. But Harry was even more angry at her father who had brought her in this position in the first place. When nothing had happened to her, Dempsey would never had return to London and showed up on her bed unexpectedly. She only hoped that he indeed would go back to New York as soon as possible. But after 3 hours sleep and waking up every hour in which every dream he showed up again, she gave up and started to cry. Nobody heard her and she felt more lonely as she had ever felt before.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Harry was glad that it was 7:30 am and there was a brand new day to look forward to. Nurses began to run in and out her room and by the time they had first checked her blood pressure, then her temperature and washed her, she was so exhausted that she could hardly swallow anything when breakfast was finally served. Eating with one hand was just one of the major problems she had to deal with. Being right handed all her life she now had to switch to her left on. Nothing was easy to deal with these days. Sometimes she just wanted that she had died immediately when it happened on other moments she wished she simply could stand up from the bed and walk away from all this just realising on time that that wasn't possible. It was so frustrated not been able to do anymore what you wanted to do so badly and what had been so normal just a couple of days ago. Doctors promised her yesterday that as soon there would be a free space available in a rehabilitation centre she would be transported to it to work further on her health. She could hardly wait.

Around the same time that the nurses in the hospital started to wake up Harry, Dempsey also opened his eyes. He had the feeling or a train had run over him during the night. He felt exhausted and his neck was hurting like hell and for a short moment of time he even didn't know where he was but then everything that had happened yesterday came back. He throw the guilt away from him and walked over to the kitchen for some breakfast. It even didn't surprised him anymore that the refrigerator was packed up with food. It seemed or Harry had done some shopping just before it all happened. After making some tea and toast he returned to the living room. It was hard to sit here on his own now. Nobody to talk to. He even missed the arguments he and Harry had most of the time during breakfast about the smallest things. These arguments seemed to be so unimportant now. 10 minutes later he went upstairs to take a shower.

Fully dressed he climbed down again half an hour later. Funny, he could live without hours sleep when he was at work and now that he was free he wanted to sleep all day long. He remembered the first time that he went to London that he had had the same problem. He hardly got a chance to overcome his jetlag then and it wouldn't be different now. Taking the shower also had made something clear to him. He wouldn't leave London for a second time, even if Harry didn't wanted him around. No way. So there was one option left: he had to do what he wanted to do already 2 years ago. Back then it hadn't been immediately possible. Now it finally would became reality, "If" they had only saved the documents here in London which he got back then in New York and he needed so desperately now!

Before he would changed his mind and got regrets, Dempsey jumped in his car and drove away. Some buildings and streets had changed during his years of absents he realised. It had been great to see his family and friends again in New York but he always had had the feeling that he didn't belong there anymore. Now he knew where that feeling came from. It was London that had become his home town. Living and working in London with or even without Harry.

When he reached the parking of the building he parked his car in the only empty spot that was available. There was a mark on the wall in front of him "Visitors only" That mark hadn't been there in the past. He slipped out of the car and walked over to the building. But before he was able to enter it, he heard someone behind him calling out his name.

"Dempsey? Is that really you?"

When he looked around, he saw Chas, one of his former colleagues

"Yes, it's me"

Chas pattered him on his shoulder: "What are you doing her?" But then obvious realising something he added: "Harry"

Dempsey nodded. "Her father called me and told me what happened"

"Have you seen her already?"

"Yes"

"And?" Chas wondering why Dempsey didn't say anything else.

"And what?"

"Wasn't she happy to see you? I saw her the day before yesterday. After all she had been going through already she... "

All of a sudden, Chas stopped. He looked at Dempsey who frowned his eyebrows.

Apologising himself he quickly continued "I'm afraid, I have said too much. Are you coming inside with me or what are your plans?"

It was obvious that Chas felt uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"I'm coming with you" Chas knew more. Dempsey could feel it, but now it wasn't the time or the place to discuss it. Hopefully later there would be plenty of time for that.

During their walk upstairs, Chas could hardly stopped talking about the fact that Dempsey showed up after all these years.

"I have missed you man" Chas turned around to look at Dempsey when they finally reached the door of the SI10 office. Yes, Dempsey thought, maybe you had missed me but I'm not so sure or my former boss, Gordon Spikings, will share your opinion. Without waiting for an answer Chas just passed through him.

"Look who's here!" he yelled when he opened the door.

Within seconds Dempsey found himself surrounded by five more people who were laughing, asking how he was doing and if someone had told him what had happened to Harry already.

All the men were so occupied that they didn't realised that behind them someone else had opened the door of his own office. They all jumped aside and went back to their own desks when a voice said: "Isn't there any work to do today? Or did you all solved the cases you were working on?"

With all the other men gone, Dempsey just stood there on his own in the middle of the room.

"Hi there boss" Dempsey said.

Spikings didn't answered only winked at him as a indication to follow him.

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders and walked after him. When they were inside the man's office, the man closed the door behind him and said down behind his desk.

"Take a seat" and he pointed at a chair in the corner of the room.

When Dempsey sat down he took a deep breath.

"I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here"

"I suppose it has something to do with Harry's condition at the moment"

"Part of it. Yes"

"I'm glad that you obvious will finally take your responsibility against her. Why it took you so long? Why didn't you come earlier after you got the opportunity? Was it so difficult for you to understand that she needed you?"

"Responsibility for what? Needed me for what? I came as soon as I find out. I've only been here one day. Of course I never wanted that this would happened to her. Never"

"That's not where I'm talking about"

"Then tell me!" Dempsey stood up from his chair.

"Have you seen Harry already?" Spikings asked with great concern on his face and in his voice.

"Yesterday. But she made it very clear that she doesn't wanted to see me anymore" and with despair in his voice he continued: "I wished that I knew which crime I committed, what I have done wrong, but I have no idea"

"Dempsey. When Harry said that she didn't wanted to see you anymore, you don't have to take that too serious. It has everything to do with her situation right now"

"I understand that. But I don't understand why she's still thinking that I let her down. I've never had the intention of letting her down or not coming back, but I thought that she moved on that there wasn't a place for me in her life anymore. Boss you have to tell me, is there someone else in her life?"

"As far as I know, no there isn't"

Somewhere deep inside him, Dempsey felt a big relief when he heard that. Made the fear disappear a little that hit him since yesterday.

"Dempsey? It isn't up to me to discuss these personal facts with you. "If" Harry will be ready for it, it's up to her to tell it to you. No Dempsey," he added: "I promised her that. We all did`

"So there is more. I knew it. I guess I have to stay a little longer then over here boss"

"I was already afraid that you would say that"

'You saved them?" Dempsey asked hopefully hoping that Spikings knew where he was talking about.

"Yes, I did"

He opened a drawer of his desk and glanced at Dempsey who sat down on his chair again.

"Understand me clearly in this Dempsey. I only saved them because of Harry"

Dempsey grinned. It was the first smile since he had been back in London. "Sure boss"

" I'm afraid I'll realise soon enough that life without you having around was much easier to deal with so I warn you, don't let me regret my decision. You won't get another chance. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Loud and clear. But eh there is a condition boss"

"There is? I don't think you are in the position to ask for any conditions here anymore Dempsey"

"It's not for me, it's for Harry. I meant what I said earlier. I won't let her down, I'll be there when she needs me, days and if it is necessary even at nights. But I have no idea how I'll be able to combine that with my work for SI10 at the moment"

"Don't worry we'll work something out. If that's the only condition you asked for, I can live with that"

"Thanks. When can I start?"

Spikings couldn't believe his ears. A Dempsey who desperately wanted to work! That was something new.

"I have some things to arrange first before I can send you out on the streets. In the meantime you can do some desk work to fill yourself in'

Spikings let the news sink in, knowing how much Dempsey hated to do desk work in the past he waited for the comments, but they didn't come. Dempsey kept totally silence. Maybe the man had indeed changed during the last 2 years. He would never had admit it to anybody but deep in his heart he had missed him too. It was good to have him back and if he felt not so worried about Harry, he would be even happier.


	4. Chapter 4

2 hours later in the hospital Makepeace laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. She had no idea what to do anymore. Some of the nurses had brought her a magazine. It had been a nice gesture but after trying to read one page, she discovered that even reading became a problem for her. If she said the words to herself, she could make sense of it, but without that it looked or she was reading something in another foreign language. Words came out in a total different way and when she finally reached the end of the page, she was so tired that she had to lay the magazine away. What if this would also be a permanent thing? Oh she wished she could talk to someone about all her fears, someone who would understand her and would be able to help her. Oh the nurses were very nice in the hospital, but so very busy that they haven't had much time to talk to their patients even if they wanted it. Now Harry regretted that her father had insisted on the fact that she should have a private room. With other people around she would have had at least someone to talk to.

Or someone had heard her, all of a sudden the door opened and 3 doctors entered her room followed by 2 nurses. All of them had a file in their hands. One of the doctors walked over to her bed opening the file on his way to her.

"Mrs. Makepeace. I'm dr. Johnson and these here are my assistants" pointing a finger on the others who were still standing at the door.

"We have discussed your health yesterday afternoon in a briefing. Some of the nurses filled me in that you have had an argument with someone later in the evening and that you said that you didn't want to see that person here anymore. Is that right?"

Harry narrowed her eyes. "I didn't expect to see him here. He lived in New York for the last 2 years"

"I see, so he's the man who your father had given permission to, to see you whenever he wanted and..."

Surprised and angry, Harry interrupted the man: "My father did what? He had no right to do that!"

"Well obvious your father had different thoughts about that" the doctor looked at her, he wanted to persuade her to admit that her father had been right about this.

"It's my life. I don't need any interfering in it from anybody"

"Did you learn that on the police academy?"

"What do you mean?"

The doctor turned to one of the other doctors who gave him another piece of paper which he read first before he started again.

"You are the only woman in the SI10 Unit aren't you?"

"What has that suppose to do with my condition right now?"

Dr. Johnson took a deep breath not knowing whether what he wanted to say, would be appreciated or not.

"I think everything. Being the only woman in SI10, I guess you had to prove it over and over again to yourself and perhaps to your colleagues as well that you are independent and not weak and more then capable of doing your job. And that you got so used to this attitude that asking for help became a difficulty for you"

Harry was shocked. It was as if she had just heard herself speaking. How many times had she assured Dempsey in the past that she was able to handle a situation even if he had had doubts about it? Was that perhaps the reason when it all went so wrong between them? That she indeed wanted to prove to everyone and perhaps to Dempsey in particular that she didn't need any help? Wasn't that what she had said to him before he quitted once and wanted to go back to New York knowing that it wouldn't be safe for him. And what had been the final result? That he had stayed and came back to help her. Just as he did yesterday.

"Maybe you are right" she finally admitted but not able to look into the doctors eyes. So she missed the little smile that crept over the man's face.

"Well, I think you must contact eh what's his name..?"

"Dempsey, Mr. James Dempsey"

"Contact Mr. Dempsey and ask him to pay you a visit"

"But I have no idea where he is! He's probably gone back to New York as I asked him to do. And I don't know how to reach him there"

"Are there family or friends who know where he could be?"

"No" Harry said with a shaky voice. What had she done? Now she really wanted that she could turn back time, that Dempsey was here, here with her. But she couldn't.

"I see" Dr. Johnson said, writing something down in her file. "We have to wait then. Oh by the way: your physiotherapy will start this afternoon"

"Physiotherapy?" Harry asked surprised. "Why am I having therapy? I'm not able to do anything!"

"Exactly. We all want to change that. Don't we?"

"Of course but..."

"No but. Dr. Samuels" One of the other doctors stepped forwards, holding out his hand to Harry.

With a little reserve Harry shook the man's hand. "You'll see Mrs. Makepeace that you'll have a totally different opinion about physiotherapy this afternoon when you realise what it can do for you after having your first session. See you later"

When the doctors had left their room, Harry stayed behind. Confused and worried as well. How could that doctor think she would be ready for physiotherapy? She wasn't able to walk, not even able to use her arm! It would be a total waste of time. They'll see that.

*****

When Dempsey left Spiking's office, he felt much happier then he had been in days, weeks, maybe even in years. He finally got what he wished for so badly; it became reality but also it wouldn't be easy. He tried to ignore the little voice in his head that whispered that emotions and work don't go together. At the moment he only wanted to be happy, a happiness that he wanted to share with all the others of the SI10.

So when Dempsey saw Chas sitting on his desk he walked over to him but before he even could say a word, the office door behind him opened again and Spikings appeared in the doorway.

"Chas. I need a word with you" Chas passed Dempsey whispering an apology and walked into Spikings office, closing the door behind him.

"He's back. Dempsey is back, isn't he?" Chas asked. Not exactly knowing whether he should be happy about that or not.

"Yes, he is. I knew some day this day would come. Today has been that day I worried about all these years after I received these documents from New York 2 years ago. Chas"

"Me too Gov" Chas set down with a look of great concern on his face.

"How long is he expecting to stay?"

"It's a permanent job now Chas. There's nothing I can do about it anymore" Spikings rubbed his head not realising he was doing it.

"And what if he starts to ask questions? It will only be a matter of time before he will do that. I even got the impression that he wanted to ask me something earlier today"

"We have to ignore it Chas. Try to keep him occupied with work and also inform the others"

"But what if she'll never tell him? Don't we have the duty to inform him then? He has a right to know! It has taken too long already"

Spikings rubbed his head again. "I agree with you Chas, Dempsey has a right to know. But it's up to Harry if or when she will inform him about what happened in the past. We have to respect that wish of hers"

Chas looked away from Spikings. That wouldn't be easy. For God sake. How would it be possible to work together with Dempsey in one room and to pretend that he knew nothing? He had no idea how he could do that.

"Fill Dempsey in Chas. Give him all the files of the cases we are working on at the moment"

"And what if he wants to leave? I mean, to visit Harry in the hospital? Has he permission to go or do I have to stop him in that?"

Chas really wanted to know where Dempsey's highest priorities laid. At work or at Harry.

"I gave him permission to leave when Harry needs him"

"But Gov. You know Dempsey. He'll take every opportunity to disappear. Saying that Harry needs him to do something totally different"

"I don't think so Chas. I made him very clear that when he blows it completely, with other words if I find out that he indeed betrayed me, it's over an out for him here. I don't think he'll let that happen"

"I hope so, for Harry's sake"

"Yeah me to. So give him a desk and let's wait and see" after these words Chas left Spikings office.

It had been so easy for Spikings to say that Dempsey wouldn't blow this second chance he had, but Chas wasn't so sure about that. And his doubts almost immediately started to become reality when he saw Dempsey standing in the middle of the room with a cup of black coffee in his hand surrounded by three others. Making jokes and behaving himself if he was the hero of the day.

"Did you hear it already Chas? Dempsey has his job back!" One of the younger colleagues yelled enthusiastic.

"Yes I know. Can I speak to you for a second Dempsey"

"Sure" he excused himself from the others who walked back to their own desks before Spikings would find out that they were doing had nothing to do with work.

"What's the matter Chas? I was just telling the others how happy I'm to be back again" Dempsey said with a big smile on his face. "I'm even thinking of paying Harry a visit later today"

"You haven't seen her yet?" Chas asked surprised.

"Of course I did, but Harry didn't want to see me anymore she said yesterday. But I'm sure that when she hears that I have my job here back, she will change her mind"

"Dempsey?" Chas answered carefully. "I guess that wouldn't be a wise idea"

"What do you mean? Going to see her or telling her that I'm working for SI10 again?" Chas laid a hand on Dempsey's arm.

"The second. She has enough on her mind at the moment Dempsey. I know that she won't have one peaceful moment anymore when she knows that you are back, working here. Give her some time to work on her own health. She deserves that. You can tell her later"

"Do you think so? But I don't want to do anything behind her back anymore. I want to be honest with her!" Dempsey said with despair in his voice.

"I understand that, believe me. But it won't do her any good at the moment. Believe me" And then changing the subject he added:" Have you done some reading about her state already?"

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders. It couldn't be that bad. Couldn't it?

Chas slowly continued. He tried to chose his words very carefully. Knowing how much impact they should have on the man in front of him who obvious still had no idea how serious Harry's condition in fact was.

"It's not nothing that happened to her. You not only have to deal with her state of condition at the moment Dempsey, but with that of the future as well. You won't get the same Harry back as that you left 2 years ago. You have to be prepared for that. And the sooner you accept that, the better that would be. For both of you"

"What do you mean by that? Of course I know that something had changed but the Harry that I met yesterday, react the same way as the Harry should have done when nothing had happened to her" "

"You're not getting it, do you? It's better to give you some brochures so you can read it yourself. Maybe you'll able to understand then what I'm trying to say to you. They helped Alice and me and the others over here a lot" Chas said meanwhile opening a drawer of his desk. "Where are they?" He ducked in it even further. Putting some papers and files on the desk before he found what he had been searching for. "Ha, here they are" and he wanted to hand them over to Dempsey but the last one had only eyes for a photo that had fallen on the floor.

While picking it up Dempsey started to smile when he realised it was a photo of Makepeace. But she wasn't alone. There was someone else standing beside her. Someone Dempsey had never seen before.

When Chas realised what Dempsey was holding in his hand now, he started to sweat.

Trying to kept his composure and not to show how he felt inside he said: "May I have that back please?"

"What are you doing with a photo of Harry in your drawer? Does Alice knows about that?" Dempsey wanted to sound it as a joke. But failed miserably.

Oh boy, Chas thought. It has been such a long time ago that he had totally forgotten that he had put that photo of Harry in his drawer.

"I have a better idea. I keep the photo so Alice will never finds out!" Dempsey gave Chas such an innocent smile that Chas knew that he felt very satisfied with himself.

"Okay, keep it" It was better not to argue with Dempsey about this. It would be the only way to avoid even more questions but Chas crucified himself for being so stupid.

"Here are the brochures I told you about" Without looking at him, Chas put the brochures in Dempsey's hands. "Read them as soon as possible. That's the only advice I can give you"

When Chas saw Dempsey walk away, he took a deep breath. Chas my man, he said to himself, you almost blew it. And you couldn't even blame someone else for it. He also knew that he had to be much more careful in the near future.


	5. Chapter 5

3 hours went by. 3 hours in which Dempsey tried to concentrate himself on the bunch of files laying on his desk and avoid looking at the brochures which seemed to scream for his attention as well. But every time he thought he had read the last file, Chas showed up with some others. At last Dempsey got the impression that he did it on purpose, just to keep him occupied. He yawned once, twice and even for a third time fighting to keep his eyes open and staying awake.

"Here" he heard a voice saying behind him and someone put a mug with black coffee in front of him. "Maybe this will help"

Dempsey yawned again before answering: "Thanks Chas, but I'm afraid that only a couple of hours sleep will help"

"Jetlag?"

"Yes, I think so" and he yawned for a fifth time.

"Why don't you go home? You have been through enough the last 24 hours"

"No, I'm staying, I want to finish these files first, then I'm leaving. At last, when you don't bring me another bunch of them"

Chas gave him a smile. Dempsey had seen through him, he realised now.

"Was it so obvious?"

"So you admit it?"

"Sorry. No, I promise that these will be the last ones for today"

Both men shared a look of understanding. They had worked long enough together in the past to know each other so well.

But 10 minutes later, Chas knew that he had made a mistake with not sending Dempsey home immediately when he heard Fry screaming: "He, he has fallen asleep!"

Bewildered Chas turned around in his chair to look at Dempsey's desk. And indeed, he saw the other man sitting in his chair, laying with is head on his arms on his desk obviously fast asleep.

"Dempsey" Chas whispered in his ear. No reaction. "Dempsey, wake up" He shook the man's left shoulder and that seemed to give some result. Dempsey indeed opened his eyes mumbling an excuse and tried to focus himself again on a file in front of him.

But Chas had seen enough. He leant over Dempsey's desk and took the file out of the other man's hand.

"This is it. I'm sending you home. Tomorrow will be another day" but when Dempsey didn't make any move at all, he grabbed the man's arm and just pushed him outside.

"Go. And don't forget to take these with you and for god sake: read them" pushing first the brochures and then the photo of Makepeace in Dempsey's hand.

"Can you drive or shall I drive you home?"

"No I can drive. But I think I have to go to the hospital first"

Chas tried not to get angry. "You are not going anywhere else then home. Do you hear me? Harry waited long enough so one other day wouldn't count anymore. I'm sending you home to get some sleep and if you decide to do otherwise...." he waited a little before he added: "I'll go to Spikings to tell him personally that you had blown it already on you first day back here. If that's what you want: go ahead. But I won't risk that if I were you"

"You're kidding! Right?"

"No I'm not kidding. I mean every word of it"

Both men were standing in front of each other now. Dempsey opened his mouth to say something but closed it immediately. Only the look on Chas face said enough.

"Okay, Okay, I'm going home"

He turned around and walked away leaving Chas behind who only nodded his head before he walked back inside.

When he closed the door behind him, five pairs of eyes were looking at him.

"Wow!" Fry said amazed: "I never thought he would take that from you. I thought he would become angry or make some comments"

Chas thought that it would be better just to ignore the comment of Fry. But he was amazed himself that Dempsey didn't exploded as he had always done before. And why? He could only guess about that as he walked in complete silence back to his desk.

It was no wonder that every person in the room almost jumped out of their seats when all of a sudden the door of Spikings office flew open.

"Was that Dempsey who I saw there just leaving the building?" he asked.

"Well?" he added when the question just started to hang in the room and nobody seems to have any intention to answer it.

Fry and Dave looked at each other and wished the floor opened up under them so they could disappear as soon as possible, Chas seemed very occupied with re-arranging the files on his desk and the other three men probably had a feeling what would follow after Dempsey had be sent home, because they had disappeared to the archive just seconds before Spikings opened his office door.

"Chas?"

Great, Chas thought. Why it always has to be me who seems to be responsible for everybody here?

"Yes Gov" Chas bite his lip.

"He felt asleep on his desk!" Fry added trying to be helpful but only received a very angry look of Chas in return.

"He did what?" Spikings barked.

"He probably still has a jetlag Gov. And with everything that happened to Harry, I thought it would be better to send him home and get some sleep"

"And where can we reach him when we need him?"

The astound look on Chas face made it clear that he had never thought about that.

"To be honest, I don't have any idea"

"You send him home, without asking where he's staying? I hope at least you have given him an RT?"

"Eh no Gov"

"I don't believe this. But he'll be back tomorrow I suppose?"

"Think so"

Still nodding his head, Spikings went back to his own office slamming the door behind him.

"The next time you're trying to help me Fry" Chas pointed a finger in Fry's direction: "Do me a favour: Think first before you speak!"

"But I was telling the truth. Dempsey felt asleep on top of his desk. Didn't he?" Fry turned around to look at Dave for help who only shrugged his shoulders astound about so much stupidity.

*****

When Dempsey arrived home, he was still not sure or Chas really meant what he had said about the fact that he should go to Spikings if he decided to go the hospital first in spite of getting home to catch up with some sleep. On the other hand what he had done: falling asleep on top of his desk, wasn't exactly the best impression he had given on his first day back at work. But it wouldn't happen again he assured himself.

After entering the house, picking up the post of the doormat and throwing his car keys on the table in the hall, he stumbled into the living room. He kicked of his shoes and fell further fully dressed down on the sofa. He took one of the brochures he got from Chas in his hand but before he could even open it he fell asleep again almost even before his head hit the pillow.

Some hours later a strange voice reached his ears and woke him up. First he had no idea what it was but then he noticed it came from the hall way. It was if someone trying to open the front door. It was indeed the front door Dempsey realised when a cold wind blew through the hall way and he heard a voice saying: "Shit" before the door smashed against the wall.

"I'll be right back" the person oblivious yelled to someone outside before the door was shut.

Still half asleep, Dempsey set right up on the sofa and ruffled a hand through his hair. Who the hell could that be? Oh he wished he had his gun now. But he didn't. Not yet. He would have felt much safer with it. When he reached the hall way seconds later, he saw someone climbing up the stairs. It was a woman.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" he exasperated

The woman, now halfway the stairs, reached out her both hands to steady herself on the rail and turned around to look down at him.

"Jesus. I could ask you the same question. You scared me to death"

"Angela?" Dempsey asked with a questionnaire tone in his voice not exactly sure or she was it or not.

"James?" the woman answered with the same intonation as him in her voice: "Hey. You are back! Have you seen Harry yet?"

When Dempsey didn't answer her but just turned around and walked back into the living room, she climbed down again and followed him. He still hadn't said a word to her when she sat next to him on the sofa.

"James? You came back for her, didn't you?"

He only nodded his head: "Yes I did"

"Then why are you not in the hospital with her? She had had her first physiotherapy session this afternoon. A very important thing for her"

"I didn't know"

"You didn't know?"

"No"

Angela tried to hide how she surprised she was about that answer. When Harry had phoned Angela earlier today asking her to pick up some more clothes and other stuff for her from her home, Harry didn't tell her that Dempsey had returned to London or even mentioned his name. Why not? What was she so afraid of? For telling Dempsey about her past or her future? Angela really had no idea. She only knew if there were to people in the whole wide world who deserved it finally to be happy and live together, it would be Harry and James and she would do every necessary thing to let that happen!


	6. Chapter 6

"I guess you are going to the hospital later today? " while at the same time she said that, something else seemed to cross her mind and she added: 'Why don't you bring her the things she asked for if I pick them up from upstairs?"

"No" Dempsey answered again

"No? What the hell is the matter with you two?"

"Meaning?"

"The last time that I saw you two together, you both hardly could take your hands of each other. We all were so happy that you finally got together as a couple. What happened since? Did you have an argument just before you left? Is that the reason that you never contact her during the last 2 years?"

"No"

Angela threw her hands in the air in pure frustration.

"Would it be too much to ask to answer me with more then just _no _on every question I asked you?"

"Sorry. But is that what Harry told you? That I never contact her after I went back to New York?" Dempsey asked wondering what explanation she had given to her friends about him after his departure.

"Hallelujah. The man speaks! Harry always said that you had to leave because the reason that they had send you over here in the first place, didn't exist anymore. But we had always assumed that you should do everything to go back to her or that she would go to New York to visit you there. But none of this happened. Did you perhaps never really love her James?" It was a hard thing to ask that last question, but she really had to know the answer. If that was the reason that they broke up, then everything she had in mind trying to bring them together again, would fail.

"How can you say that?" Dempsey couldn't hide the pain in his voice. He couldn't imagine that Harry had considered that in the first place. "I never stopped loving her. If she had had that impression, she had it all wrong!"

After he had said that, he stood up from the sofa and walked over to the kitchen. To his surprise Angela didn't follow him. He heard her climbing the stairs again. Obvious she thought he needed some time on his own and he was her thankful for that.

He heard her upstairs opening some drawers and in the bathroom. Minutes later she climbed down again putting a big bag in the hallway.

"James" he heard her saying putting a hand on his shoulder. "I saw that you got some brochures about Harry's state at the moment. Read them and be there for her. She really needs you. I gotta go now or visiting hours at the hospital will be over"

Angela turned around and headed to the door with the bag in her hand. When she had opened the front door she realised that Dempsey had followed her.

"Angela?" he said: "May I ask you something? Why had Harry locked that door upstairs? I wanted to sleep in that room last night but can't find the key for it. Do you know where it is?"

She only looked at him with a bewildered look on her face before she said: "I have no idea where you are talking about. Sorry, but I really have to go now" and she disappeared before he could say something else. Closing the door behind her, he knew that she had been lying. She knew more. But like the others, she wouldn't tell him anything.

*****

"What took you so long" a man's voice said when Angela put the bag on the back seat of the car and slipped inside on the passengers seat. While fastening her seat bell she turned around to the man beside her.

"You'll never guess who's back?"

"No, of course not. Well who?" he added when Angela said nothing more only looked straight ahead.

"James!"

"James? You mean Harry's James?"

"Yeah, do we know another one?" Angela reacted agitated

"No. But what's he doing her?"

"He came back for Harry"

"Finally. Any idea why now and not before?" Angela thought back on the strange conversation she had had with James.

"Not exactly"

"And you believe him?"

"Yeah. I know, it sounds strange but yeah I believe him. I have never seen him in such a state before Mike"

"But 2 years sweetheart! 2 long years he got the opportunity to come back and he didn't and now suddenly he shows up. Sorry. But I don't buy it"

"I may have got it totally wrong Mike but I have the impression that these 2 years haven't been so happy for him either. We all thought that he had moved on with his life that he perhaps even had a new girlfriend in New York but he assured me that he never stopped loving Harry"

When she had said that, the man, who Angela named Mike, laid a hand on her arm: "Oh no, I know that look that you have on your face too well. You are not going to interfere into their lives. Do you hear me!"

"I have to Mike! I have to. James started to ask me a question about the locked room upstairs in Harry's house"

"And what did you say?"

"I told him that I had no idea where he was talking about, but I'm sure I'm not the only one whom he asked questions about Harry already. It's only a matter of time or he finds out. He's a detective after all. And a very good one in particular!"

"So that's even more reason not to interfere into their lives. You have done enough for Harry in the last 2 years. It's up to them now. Let them solve their own problems!"

"But I wanted so desperately to see them both happy. I got to help them Mike. I can't stand Harry's pain anymore. She had been through enough. Please understand me in this?" she begged Mike.

Knowing that Angela should never give up in this even if he had other thoughts about it, he gave in: "That you'll bring them together again. Okay then. But I want you to keep your promise against Harry that you'll never tell James yourself what happened. She has to do that. If you promise me that, then go for it" and with a little smile on his face he added: "Match maker Angela. I guess, I like that"

"Thanks" Angela turned over to Mike to kiss him.

"But now we have to drive as soon as possible to the hospital otherwise we'll be late and visiting hours will be over and I don't think Harry will be happy with that" and without looking into his mirror Mike drove away from Harry's house.

*****

If he indeed had looked into his mirror he should have seen that Dempsey standing behind one of the windows of the house. He had observed the two people sitting in the car and he couldn't deny the feeling that they talked about him.

It was so frustrated! Everybody seems to know something but wouldn't tell. No one wanted to break their promise he or she had made to Harry. Not even Spikings. And that was the strangest thing of all because the man always had had a soft spot for Harry, he treated her as was she his own daughter. The only way was probably to do some research himself but he had no idea at the moment where to begin with.

Back in the kitchen, he took a glass of wine and walked back with it to the living room. First he had to read the brochures Chas had given him earlier today. Otherwise he knew he had to answer even more question tomorrow.

He put the glass on the table and walked over to the bookcase on the other side of the room. He was so used to the fact that Harry had always been around when he had been there that the silence slowly started to get on his nerves. Looking through the collection music cassettes of hers he tried to search for one that he would like but all of them where labelled "love songs". He wanted to put them all back in the bookcase till his eyes felt on another cassette laying under some papers at the bottom of the case. Picking it up, he even got more suspicious. The tape was grey from all the dust that it had picked up so it must have laid there probably for weeks or even months. And it was the only unlabeled tape as well. Had Harry hide that cassette on purpose there or what? There was only one way to find out. He put the cassette in the player and pushed the play button. Nothing happed, totally silence. You see: he said to himself, now you started to think that even a dusty tape is suspicious. He almost wanted to push the play button again to stop the cassette when all of a sudden he heard some music. There stood indeed something on the tape! He wasn't completely loosing it. Slowly he turned the volume a little higher and set down again on the sofa.

Picking up his glass of wine he took a sip of it. Pretending that it would be just an ordinary tape just as the others, he took one of the brochures of the table to read it in the meantime. But then, after the first line he heard, he knew that this wasn't just an ordinary tape. This was a special one. With his eyes closed he listened to the rest of it.

_I've been waiting such a long time,  
looking out for you  
But you're not here  
What's another year?_

I've been waking such a long time,  
reaching out for you  
But you're not near  
What's another year?

What's another year  
For someone who's lost everything that he owns?  
What's another year  
For someone who's getting used to being alone?

I've been praying such a long time  
It's the only way to hide the fear  
What's another year?

_What's another year  
For someone who's lost everything that he owns?  
What's another year  
For someone who's getting used to being alone?_

I've been crying such a long time  
With such a lot of pain in every tear

_What's another year?_

When the song ended abruptly, Dempsey had heard enough. Tears had fill his eyes. Now he understood why Angela had asked him that question or he had really loved Harry or not. Hopefully it wasn't too late already.......


	7. Chapter 7

Harry was lying in bed on her back with her eyes closed. Visiting hours were almost over and she felt a bit disappointed. Angela had promised her to bring her some stuff she needed so badly, but she had waited for more then one and a half hours now and nobody showed up. That would be another night wearing that stupid hospital shirt one of the nurses had given her to sleep in. A shirt that itched enormously and made a hell of a noise every time she tried to change position. Not that she would be able to switch to a more comfortable position easily, but the last physiotherapist had taught her some tricks this afternoon to move a little bit better in bed.

All of a sudden she heard some footsteps coming closer and a voice whispering in her ear: "Hi Harry. Are you awake?"

When Harry opened her eyes, she saw Angela standing at the other side of the room putting some clothes in her closet.

"Hi" Harry's face lightened up: "I thought already that you wouldn't show up anymore"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Took me a little longer than expected. Do you need something of these or can I put everything away?"

"My nightdress. I get the creeps with this stupid shirt" Harry answered plucking on the front of the shirt.

"Do you want to change it now? Shall I help you or what?"

"Yes, that would be fine"

Even if Angela had never done this before with someone in this condition, she was able to put Harry her nightdress on without much difficulty.

"Better?" she asked putting a chair next to Harry's bed.

"Much better, but what happened that it took you so long?"

"Well, eh I met someone on my way to the hospital"

"Met someone? I thought that Mike would drive you?" Harry was surprised. Mike and Angela were a couple now for almost a year. Seeing the two of them together and how much they loved each other, always made her sad thinking on what she and Dempsey had had and that probably never would happen again.

"Yeah, he did, but ....why didn't you mention that James came back and is staying at your place? He scared me to death with his presence!"

"He's still here?" Harry couldn't believe her ears: "I thought..... I thought I ruined it, that he returned to New York by now. That I would never see him again" Tears started to roll over her cheek. She tried to wipe them away, but it only produced more of them. Suddenly she felt so happy inside. He was still here, here in London, but what had Angela also said? That he was staying at her place?

"Why's he staying at my place?"

"I don't know. I guess he hasn't had time yet to find something else. By the way: how did he know what happened to you? I suppose you didn't informed him yourself, but who did?"

"My father"

"Your father?" Angela was surprised by that answer.

"He had been able to reach James without any problems and after all you've tried, you couldn't! Why? Isn't that wired?"

Before now, it had never crossed her mind, but now that Angela had mentioned it, indeed there was something strange going on here.

"Angela?" Harry asked softly while somewhere deep down inside of her, fear started to develop.

"Would it be possible that my father....."

"What do you mean?"

"Dempsey said that he had tried to contact me more then once during that first week when he was back in New York. I told him that I went to Winfield Hall. But what.....what if he had tried to call me over there as well and my father answered the phone telling him that I wasn't at Winfield Hall either? My answering machine broke down so he couldn't leave a message for me with his phone number to reach him"

"Harry, this is ridiculous! Why should your father do this to you? And besides, you phoned the NYPD yourself and didn't get his phone number from them either. Or..." Angela added not really know if she would mention this to Harry or keep it for herself.

"Or what? Go on. What's crossing your mind?"

Angela bit her lip. If her father didn't want that Dempsey contacted Harry anymore, maybe he had informed the NYPD then as well not to pass his phone number to her. But when Angela mentioned this "possible" option to Harry, Harry looked at her if she had lost her mind.

"You can't be serious. You think.....he did it on purpose?" No, this couldn't be true. Not her father.

"Did you tell your father that you were......Well, you know"

"Not immediately, but he found it out by himself after a couple of days. But he liked Dempsey. It doesn't make any sense"

"Sweetie, the solution lays with your father. Did he come to see you here already?"

"No, he's still at Winfield Hall and I don't have a phone here so he's not able to reach me, but I'm sure he will give the nurses here a daily call to have an up-date about my condition" she started to defend his absence.

"But what about this private room? You told me that your father insisted on it and that you hate it. Maybe he's starting to feel guilty and wants to make it up to you now this way? If he did, what we both think is a possibility, then I guess, he knew that sooner or later you'll find out. And being afraid for the consequences, it would be safer for him just to call the nurses then to come over to visit you"

"I don't want to think about that. I won't!" Harry said firmly.

"As much as I like to discuss this with you much longer, I think I better be going. I have been here far too long already. Before they throw me out. I'll be back the day after tomorrow" Angela bent over to Harry to give her a kiss on her cheek. "See you then"

When she walked to the door, she turned around in the doorway when Harry yelled her name after her.

"Angela? Do you know if Dempsey will come to visit me tomorrow?" at her voice, Angela could hear that Harry didn't want anything else more in the whole wide world than that he would show up again at her bedside. Rather today than tomorrow.

"Unfortunately, I can't guarantee you that, but I hope so. And if not....."she added, trying to make a joke of it: "I'll drag him personally to the hospital if he doesn't!"

Just after that Angela had left the room, another thing crossed Harry's mind. Dempsey was staying at her place! What about the locked room? Had Angela locked it as she had asked her to do so or......? She wanted to shout after Angela to ask her, but it was too late. Angela was already gone. It had to wait. Again.


	8. Chapter 8

For Harry another sleepless night followed. She had lost track on how many of these she had had during the last 2 years and the last 2 weeks in particular. She tried hard to think on something pleasant. Dempsey's unexpected returning! That had been indeed a real highlight but she had ruined it even just like she had ruined so many highlights in the past. She couldn't get it out of her mind that lately her whole life seemed to exist of only failures. One failure after another. It seemed it would never end.

Dempsey had the same problems with getting asleep. He had played that song over and over again till he had finally pushed the stop button and put the music cassette back where he had found it. But the lyrics of the song were still crossing his mind when he lay down on the sofa for a second night. And then there were the brochures he had read about Harry's condition at the moment and what he may expect in the future. It didn't make him very happy. He hadn't realised till now that it would be so hard. Not only for Harry but for him, as a partner, as well. Funny, the word partner suddenly got a whole new meaning. He also understood Chas a bit better now, why he had insisted on the fact that he should read the brochures before visiting Harry again and not to tell her about his job for SI10 for the time being. When he would visit her tomorrow, he had to hide all these things for her. When he had done this 2 years ago, she would have noticed immediately that there was something wrong, but now was a total different story.

Harry looked at her watch and yawned. Seven o'clock. She must have fallen asleep after all. By holding the bed in a firm grip, she rolled herself over on her left side and peeked under the curtain to take a look at the view outside. It was still dark. She could hardly see a thing and she groaned loudly when she heard some noises at the corridor. In the past 2 weeks, she had learned that it was never complete silence in the hospital. During the night, you always heard the sound of a siren of an ambulance or one of the equipments in the room next to hers, constantly checking someone's vital organs.

Dempsey looked a little fuzzy at the clock in the corner of the room. Seven o'clock. He rolled over to his other side and almost felt on the floor. He had forgotten that he didn't sleep in his own bed at his apartment in New York, but that he was lying on the sofa in Harry's house at Camberwell Grove in London. He had turned so many times during the night that he found himself totally wrapped up in the quilt and the duvet he had used. He had no idea how late they expected him at the SI10 but seven o'clock was a bit too early to get up. He could always say that he had had still problems with that jetlag. He could hear Spikings almost yelling to him when this thought crossed his mind. And with a big grin on his face, Dempsey lifted the quilt and duvet up to his nose, turned around and dozed away. Till the sound of the phone woke him up again 2 hours later.

A little dizzy and still half asleep, he stumbled to the hallway and picked up the telephone receiver.

"Dempsey" he said with a voice he didn't recognize as his so he cleared his throat and tried again.

"Good morning James. Did I wake you up?"

"Angela? Yeah to be honest, you did. What time is it?"

"Nine o'clock"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated looking at his watch in disbelief.

"I think I overslept. Is there a particular reason that you phoned me?" and then something else crossed his mind.

"Have you seen Harry yesterday evening? How's she doing? Is...is she still mad at me or....?"

"That's why I'm calling you. Harry especially asked me yesterday evening if you have plans to visit her today. The fact that you're still here in London said enough to her. If you still love her and you said yesterday you did, then be there for her. I realize that it won't be easy for you to see her in this state, but she can't go through this alone James. She really needs _you_ to be there at her side, she really does. Even if she's perhaps mad at you or say things she, deep down inside, didn't mean. Go!"

"You're a really good friend to Harry"

"She deserves it James"

James had no idea how to react on this. He just kept silence.

"And? Are you planning to go today to the hospital or what?" Angela asked a little impatient now, because he still hadn't given her a straight answer.

"I'm going. This afternoon"

"Not this afternoon! Now! Do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you. Alright. I try to be there in an hour's time"

"Fine" Angela hung up the phone with a deep frown on her face which didn't go unnoticed to Mike who stood next to her.

"What now? What did James say?" he asked.

"That he will be in the hospital in one hour's time"

"Well that's great! Or not?" he added when he saw Angela just staring at something in the distance if she was far away with her thoughts.

"I don't know. I have the feeling, he said that only to comfort me"

"That he doesn't mean it? Come on Gel, you explained it loud and clear to him that Harry needed him and why"

"I saw the brochures Mike. The same we got in the hospital, lying on the table yesterday when I picked up the things Harry asked for at her home. I'm sure, James had read them by now. What if it will be too much to handle for him? They are not married..."

"What has that suppose to do with it?" Mike turned Angela to face him.

"They have no commitment with each other: in sickness and in health.... to death do us part. You name it. He can always just disappear again. Saying bye, bye Harry and fly back to New York going further with his life there. I'll see both of them happy. Together. But we have to face it: the most of what they had to deal with, will be put on his shoulders Mike. It's not nothing, even if he's still in love with Harry"

"If I understand you right in this: you're thinking that James had first underestimated Harry's condition and that he is now trying to come up with every excuse so that he wouldn't have to visit Harry? You can't be serious. You have to trust him. Harry trusted him with her life day after day when they were both working for SI10. And that's as whole lot more then the trust you give him at the moment"

"But what if I'm right?" Angela looked helpless up at Mike who put his hands on her shoulders.

"If you're really thinking that James has plans to fly back to New York and you don't want him not to do that....but believe me I still have doubts that he's considering this.....than there's only one way to stop him. But in my opinion: I believe that James wants nothing more then to visit Harry in the hospital, but that he has no clue anymore how to fix the problems which seemed to be always exist between them to solve this time"

"But what would you suggest than that I should do?"

"That you drive to Camberwell Grove and that you drag him personally to the hospital as you promised Harry yesterday"

"You think so?"

"Gel. It's the only guarantee you can get that he shows up there. You can even stay at the hospital for awhile. Just long enough till you get the impression that they won't jump to each others throat again. Knowing James temper, he wouldn't like it what you're doing now but if you feel more comfortable with the fact that you'll know that they are at least on speaking terms again, then do it. I'm sure they both will appreciate it afterwards"


	9. Chapter 9

When Angela parked her car outside Camberwell Grove, she started to get second thoughts if what she was doing was right. Maybe interfering in both Harry's and James's life wouldn't be such a wise idea. Maybe she must have had a little bit more faith in him as Mike suggested. But just as she wanted to drive away, she saw the front door opening and Dempsey stepping outside.

He walked up to her car with a puzzled look on his face. He leant over to the window of her car and made it very clear that he wanted to talk to her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked when she turned the window down.

"I came to pick you up to drive you to the hospital. Personally!"

"I don't believe this!"

"James....just come with me. Please"

"No way"

"Will you promise me then to drive to the hospital without hesitation?"

"I'll think about it. There's something else I have to do first"

"Dempsey!" she yelled at him.

"I don't need a nurse maid who's looking after me!" he answered between gritted teeth's.

"I'm not nursing you! Dammed you are even stubborn as Harry can be. Did you learn that from her?"

"I don't have to answer that!" he turned around and walked over to his own car without saying a word to her anymore.

'Okay then mister wise guy' she said to herself 'If that's what you want' and she started the engine to follow him when he drove away.

In his mirror, Dempsey saw Angela's car follow his. He became angrier by the minute because everything he tried to get rid of her, every move he made, he couldn't lose her. She started to get on his nerves. At one moment the two cars were driven side by side and he yelled at her: "Give it up!"

"No way!" she yelled back at him giving more gas as he did also.

Finally, Dempsey slipped the car into a free parking slot, stepped outside, slammed the car door behind him, crossed the street and entered a bakery without even looking if Angela had followed him or saw where he was going.

Angela had parked her car a little further away not knowing exactly what to do next. Then 5 minutes later she saw Dempsey leaving the bakery again with a box wrapped in paper in his hand. Suddenly she felt so stupid. Mike bought her a box of chocolate from time to time wrapped in the same piece of paper she had seen in Dempsey´s hand. It was so clear to her now: He had just bought a box of chocolate or something like that for Harry! Angela hardly could believe it. This was so sweet. She had never believed that that would cross his mind. Maybe it was a peace offer to Harry from his side? To show her that he really cared about her? When Dempsey's car passed her, she turned her head away. She had no idea how to keep her composure now feeling so guilty that she hadn't trust him.

When Dempsey realised, Angela's car didn't followed his anymore, he relaxed, turned and drove away in an other direction. Some time later, he entered the parking and parked his car in front of the SI10 building.

"Where have you been? We waited more then 2 hours on you!" Chas said to him when he opened the door to the office.

"You too, Good Morning. I was at home"

"At home? Where's home?" Chas asked immediately thinking back on the conversation he had had with Spikings yesterday.

"At Harry's place" Dempsey answered walking over to the coffee machine and putting a mug with black coffee on his desk: "Where else?"

"Where else? How do I suppose to know that? You didn't tell us where you were staying so we couldn't reach you"

"You should have know when you didn't send me home so quickly after my return" Dempsey tried to defend himself.

"I have an RT staying ready for you. Yes.." Chas added when he saw that Dempsey wanted to say something: "I put new batteries in it for you, so that you won't have an excuse not to use it!"

"I can always forget to take it with me!" Dempsey grinned.

"Remember what I said to you yesterday?"

"That was yesterday, today is a brand new day"

"Yeah but with the same rules as yesterday" Chas couldn't hide a smile when he said that. The last 2 years it had been very quiet at the SI10 without having Dempsey around. But he was back now and Chas new instantly that these quiet days would be over. But he wouldn't regret it. No, he wouldn't.

Dempsey hardly set down behind his desk, taking a gulp of his coffee when the door to Spiking's office opened and the man himself appeared.

"It's good to see that you finally found your way to the office today" Spikings said sarcastically to Dempsey: "I already thought that you left us again after just one day"

"Would you have missed me then?" Dempsey asked with a grin on his face from ear to ear.

"Grrrr" Spikings groaned. He thought on what he had promised himself yesterday evening sitting at the dinner table when he had told Mrs Spikings that Dempsey had returned to SI10. To be patient and not let himself get worked up again by him. But one answer from Dempsey was enough to forget all the promises he had made to himself. Bloody Yank.

"I need you in my office" Spikings winked him and Dempsey followed a little sheepish. Maybe he

had been a little to hard on the boss.

"You don't look so well" Dempsey said concerned. The man sitting on the other side of the desk looked different from yesterday.

"I have to think of my blood pressure, but nothing for you to worry about"

"Just making sure"

"About what?" Spikings frowned his eyebrows. This was not the Dempsey he knew.

"That it has nothing to do with my return here"

"Listen Dempsey.. I have been prepared for yesterday's day to come for the last 2 years. I knew that you would show up here sooner or later. It didn't come as a total surprise. I only wished that your return happened under other circumstances. If you know what I mean"

"Me too"

"Have you seen Harry since yesterday?"

"No I'm planning to go to the hospital this afternoon. If that's alright with you"

"You can go, if you'll be back around 6. I need you for a surveillance tonight together with Dave" Spikings picked a file up from his desk and handed it over to Dempsey: "Read yourself in before you start tonight"

"What's the case?"

"Some drug dealers. We've been after them for two months now. I'd really like to know who there suppliers are. Oh and Dempsey..."

He turned around with the door handle in his hand already knew what was coming.

"No shooting. I need them alive. Do you hear me?"

"I try to do my best boss"

"If it's not too much to ask: Try a little harder. I need answers, not dead bodies!"


	10. Chapter 10

Dempsey spend the rest of the morning with reading the file and doing some research himself. He even went to the archive to pick up some other, older, files of cases related to this case.

Chas set on one of the other desks behind the computer. From time to time he glanced at Dempsey, opened his mouth to say something but didn't. He was wondering if Dempsey had read the brochures he had given him yesterday or not. But asking him about it, would like if he was nursing him and he knew already the answer that Dempsey should give. If he would answer at all.

Around one o'clock, Dempsey pushed all the files together on his desk, slipped into his jacket and wanted to go away.

"Are you going to the hospital now?" Chas couldn't refuse to ask.

"Yes. If the boss needs me, he can reach me there. Will be back at 5"

"Take your RT with you!" he heard Chas yelling after him. But Dempsey just ignored it.

Downstairs at the parking, he opened the door of his car and slipped on the drivers seat. On the passengers seat still laid the box with chocolates he had bought that morning. In his rush to get inside the SI10 building earlier and not used to the fact of buying chocolates, he had the box totally forgotten. The car had stand in the sun during the whole morning and when Dempsey picked the box up to give it a better look, he realised that all the chocolate inside was melt.

'Very clever James' he said to himself, stepping out of the car again and throwing the box in the garbage bucket.

Just as he wanted to step inside his car again, he heard someone calling out his name.

"Dempsey!" It was Chas. Holding a RT in his hand.

"I told you to take the RT with you!" he said with a warning in his voice.

Dempsey throw the RT on the passengers seat and answered: "Can you guys here not live without it?"

"We can, but you can't"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Chas tried to be patient: "We must have a way to reach you when you are in the hospital"

"I don't think RT's are permitted to use in the hospital Chas!" he pattered the man on his shoulder, slipped inside the car for a second time and drove away. Chas saw him leaving. To astound to react.

When Dempsey entered the bakery for a second time that day, the woman behind the counter couldn't believe her eyes.

"Was there something wrong with that first box? Or didn't she liked them?" the woman asked a little worried.

"No. It was my fault. I put the box in the sun" he explained.

"Hmm, that's not so clever Sir"

"Tell me. I don't have to tell you how the box looked like now but not as a chocolate box anymore. So I hope you can give me another one?" Dempsey asked with the sweetest smile on his face he could come up with.

The woman after the counter didn't know where to look at. She knew the man in front of her was flirting heavily with her, but she couldn't help it as she felt her cheeks becoming red. Trying to keep her composure, she turned around, taking an empty box from one of the shelves and with nodding her head she said: "You want the same as before?"

"That would be nice"

When she handed him the full box minutes later, Dempsey gave her a big smile again.

"Thanks. I'm sure my girlfriend would never forget this" and when he walked out of the shop, he heard the woman whispering against a colleague of hers: "What a pity he has a girlfriend already. That girl probably didn't realise, how lucky she is to have such a hunk as her boyfriend"

He had hardly done two steps outside the shop or he felt a hand on his arm and a voice saying: "I don't believe this. What the hell are you doing here again? You suppose to be in the hospital by now!"

Dempsey almost jumped and dropped the box with chocolates to the ground when he realised from whom the voice came from. Angela!

A little sheepish he turned around to look at her.

"I had a little accident"

Not knowing what to think about that but still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt she added: "Accident? What kind of accident?"

"I accidentally put the box in the sun"

"Is that all? And it took you more then 3 hours to replace it? Sorry, but I don't believe you anymore"

"I had to go somewhere else as well"

"Oh. Do you know something: I guess I was right"

"About what?"

"That you're trying to come up with every available excuse so that you don't have to go to the hospital"

"That's not true!" Dempsey started to feel helpless. He knew how it looked like and deep down inside he couldn't blame her. He probably had done the same if he was her.

"Well, are you going now or what?"

"I'm going. Really!" he added: "You can come with me, if you want some proof"

He knew how it would look like when he shows up at Harry's bed with Angela by his side and especially when he had to explain to her what happened. But if there was no other way, he had to take the consequences.

"I'll give you one more chance. But if I discover tomorrow that you didn't show up, I'll come personally after you. Doesn't matter where you are. London, New York or even the moon...I'll find you and your days will be count by then!" she warned him.

One look on Angela's face and he knew that she meant every word of it.

When she saw him driving away, at least in the direction of the hospital, she started to pray: "Please don't put any obstacles in his way again so that he'll be able to change his mind!"

*****

The parking for the hospital was filled with cars and it took Dempsey more then 15 minutes to find a parking place 3 blocks away. He jumped out the car, put the box with chocolate in one hand and looked at his watch. Two o'clock. Then he would have more then 2 hours to spend together with Harry.

When he opened the door to Harry's room, he found the room empty. No sign of Harry. Where was she? He put the chocolate box on her bedside cabinet, avoiding the sun this time, and walked to the nursery post at the end of the corridor.

"Excuse me, can someone tells me where Mrs. Makepeace is?"

"She's in her room" one of the nurses answered him slipping through a file and didn't even look at him.

"No, she isn't"

"She must be. Maybe you have the wrong room"

"Yesterday she was there. Room 13"

"Oh that one. Oh we just cleaned it. Someone died in there this morning"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated, started to shake leaning against the doorpost and felt sick.

"It didn't go so well with the lady....." finally the nurse looked up from her file.

"Are you a relative of hers?" she said standing up and walking up to him with more concern in her voice now.

Dempsey had no problems with interrogate the biggest criminals of the world but now he went speechless, he couldn't say a word. The last memory he and Harry shared was that strong, and now that he looked back, stupid misunderstanding that developed 2 years ago when he had phoned her, but couldn't reach her. That's where it all had started yesterday. Why had he waited so long to go back to London? Why hadn't he just bite the bullet and went back and to see what would happen earlier? But he knew why he hadn't done it. He hadn't done it out of fear. Fear of her reaction that she had moved on with her life that there wasn't a place for him anymore in it. How would he ever faced Angela again? If he had been driven straight to the hospital this morning, maybe he had been just on time to tell her that he loved her, that she had been the love of his life and that he would never forget her. He would have been there when she needed him the most. But he wasn't. And now it was all too late......


	11. Chapter 11

"I asked you or you where a relative of hers?" the nurse repeated. "Her son or perhaps even her grandson?"

"Son? Grandson? No I'm her boyfriend!" Dempsey answered with some hesitation. Was he technical still her boyfriend? He asked himself. They even hadn't had a chance to discuss that either.

"Her boyfriend? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, at least I thought I was"

"Sorry Sir, that I'm a little surprised but are you not a little too old to be her boyfriend? Not that's my business but ...."

"Too old? She's 10 years younger. I don't have a problem with that"

"10 years younger?" the nurse walked back to the desk and opened the file again. "But here stands that the lady, who just died, was 87 years old!" and then realising something she turned around to where Dempsey was still standing.

"I'm afraid I made a mistake. I'm so sorry. The name of the woman who died at room number 13 was also Mrs. Makepeace. I have been on holiday for 4 weeks and my sift started only 30 minutes ago. I guess it's a fall of mistaken identity here. Haven't met the new patients today. I'm so sorry." She picked up another file from the desk.

"We moved the other Mrs. Makepeace to another room. One with 3 other patients. She asked for that. Let me see, room 17"

Dempsey thought that he had turned from hell into heaven. He felt suddenly so happy and so relieved. Harry was still alive. She wasn't dead! He enveloped the nurse around her waist, whispered "thank you' to her, put a kiss on her cheek and run away leaving the nurse behind in total shock.

He ran into room number 13, took the box from the bedside cabinet, hardly knocked another nurse down who was entering the room when he left the room again and run up to room number 17. He took a deep breath to control his breathing and pushed the door open. Four heads turned around at him but he had only eyes for one woman. Lying in her bed in the far end of the room near the window. He gave her a big smile and got the brightest smile he had ever seen of her in return.

"You are here!" Harry called out.

Dempsey leaned over to her to put a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh boy. It's so good to see you!" he whispered to her.

Harry frowned her eyebrows. She didn't understand his mood at that moment only that he acted very strange. If he had expected that he would never see her again.

"Here this is for you" he said when he handed her the chocolate box.

"For me?"

"Yes for you. Don't you have any plans to open it?" he asked when he saw that she looked at the box if she couldn't believe her eyes.

When she had wrapped the paper of the box and opened it she was even more surprised.

"Your favourites" he added.

"You still remember?"

"Of course I do. Eh Harry....about eh....." Dempsey felt a little uncomfortable but Harry reached her left hand out to him and put a finger to his lips.

"Let's forget it. Okay? You are here and that's all that counts for me. I hoped so that you should turn up today. I have some wonderful news to tell you!"

"You have? About what?"

"Well first there is this room. No private room anymore, finally some other people to talk to. I really thought I became nuts in that room. Felt so lonely there. Still have no idea why my father existed on it"

Dempsey took Harry's left hand in his and started with his thumb to stroke the top of it.

"I guess, he thought that would be the best for you"

"Why didn't he asked me first?"

"I have no idea" and to distracted her he added: "What was the other news you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh yeah. They told me this morning that when there's a place available tomorrow in the rehabilitation centre, they will transport me to it!" her eyes glowed when she had said that.

"That's great" he joined her: "How will they do that?"

"With an ambulance I guess"

Harry nodded her head. Not knowing exactly how to say it but with a little hesitation in her voice she followed: "Will you come to accompany me to it? I'll leave here around 10"

"Of course I will"

"Thanks"

"He, what's the matter?" He saw her eyes suddenly changing from glowing till brimming when he put a finger under her skin to push her head up.

"I'm a little scared. Scared for what will follow there"

"Sweetheart, I understand that. But you don't need to be scared. When you're there, they'll start to work on your health. Much more then they could do here. It wouldn't be easy for you, but you need to have faith in it"

"Do you have faith in it? That I'll ever be able to walk again?" she said with a small voice.

"Of course I have. Let's take it one step after an other okay?" he smiled at her.

The next hour Dempsey set next to Harry's bed. They talked about a lot of things but both of them avoided to speak about the things that bordered them the most. Both too afraid to hurt the other again and to ruin the good relationship they had with each other at the moment and that could turn into another argument within seconds.

When the clock turned to half past 5 Dempsey found it really hard to let Harry alone again, but he had promised Chas to be back on time to start the surveillance with Dave later that night.

"I'm really sorry. But I have to go"

"Where are you going? You can eat here in the hospital and come back later. Will you do that?"

"I can't Harry"

"Why not?" disappointed she looked at him when he put his chair back in the corner of the room.

Dempsey had already thought about what to say to Harry when she would asked him about it.

"It's no big deal, I still have a jetlag and want to sleep a little more so I can be with you tomorrow morning"

"Dempsey! You never had problems with a lack on sleep before! The less sleep you had, the better you functioned!"

"That was then Harry. I'm 2 years older now"

"Come on Dempsey. I don't believe you!"

"Oh great. What do you think then that I'll do tonight?" he asked curious to know what she was thinking he was up to.

"I don't know" she defended herself: "Could be anything but not sleeping. Maybe partying?"

Only the thought of that he could go out, having a good time with god knows whom and that she was doomed to stay in that damned hospital bed made her almost cry again.

Seeing what the answer he had given, did to her, he wanted that he could tell her the real truth.

That he had to work, but he couldn't. He had given Chas and Spikings his word not to tell Harry anything about it yet. And he wanted to keep that promise and don't want to lose his job because of it.

"Harry, I'm promise you, I'm not going out to party! But now I really have to run"

He kissed Harry on the cheek, greeted the other three ladies in the room an was gone.

Immediately after his disappearance, the three other women in the room wanted to hear everything from Harry about that good looking guy that had appeared at her bed. Harry didn't say much. And although she knew that he hadn't tell her the truth about the upcoming night, she was so proud that Dempsey was hers. She looked forward to tomorrow when she should take a following step on her way to recovery.


	12. Chapter 12

Dempsey showed up at the parking of the SI10 building around half past 6. When he left the car, he saw Dave standing at the other side of the car park putting some equipment into a blue van.

"I thought Chas had given you an RT?" Dave said to him when Dempsey approached him.

"He did, but I told him already that it's probably not working in a hospital. Why?" He had no intention to tell Dave that he didn't take the RT with him inside the hospital at all.

"Because Chas had tried to reach you over and over again without any luck"

"Why did Chas try to contact me in the first place?" Dempsey asked, but Dave shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't have anything to do with it.

"The plans have changed" was all Dave said, thinking to himself that it had been more quiet during Dempsey's stay in America. With having him around, trouble seemed to arise almost immediately and on every unthinkable level.

"Changed? How do you mean changed?"

"We wanted to do an observation first from inside a car, but Spikings decided that it would be better to do it by using a house as an observation point"

"A house?" Dempsey asked not quit sure or he had understood it right.

"Why a house? We hardly ever use that way of observation!"

"Don't ask me. I'm only following orders"

"But you have a mouth haven't you?"

Astound Dave looked at Dempsey as if he couldn't follow him.

"Yes, but..."

"To ask questions. They changed the way of observation and you've not even asked why?"

"It didn't seem important to me"

"Grrr" Dempsey groaned between his teeth's. Nothing had changed since the first time he had been in London. Some colleagues would probably never do anything else then following orders without asking questions.

"Alright then" Dempsey gave in: "What do we have to do the observation?"

"What do you mean?" Dave asked shoving another box inside the van.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Dempsey started to become more and more agitated: "Which equipment can we use?"

"Oh that's what you mean. Well, we have some telescopes, a photo camera and a tape recorder" Dave seemed very pleased with it, but Dempsey wasn't.

"That's it? Nothing more?"

"Seems enough to me" Dave responded closing the door of the van and wanted to walk over to the passengers seat.

"I guess it's better that you do the driving" Dempsey suggested: "I have no clue where we're going and besides, I'm still getting used to driving on the left side of the road again" thinking back on the near car accident he had yesterday.

"If you insist on it" Dave slipped into the drivers seat, fasted his seatbelt and closed the car door behind him and waited till Dempsey had climbed inside at the other side of the van.

When Dave started the engine, the car jumped forwards without any warning. Dempsey almost banged with his forehead against the wind screen.

"Sorry" Dave said, looking slightly to Dempsey.

"Do you want to kill me or what?"

"That's why I have fastened my seatbelt" Dave responded with a small smile on his face.

"I never use one!"

"Don't tell me afterwards that I didn't warn you" Dave started the engine again. Dempsey was prepared for it now, but this time they just drove away without having any problems.

"Did you visit Harry in the hospital this afternoon?" Dave asked while driving, hoping that Dempsey would be more communicative if the subject would be Makepeace. But Dave could have saved his efforts, because all he got as an answer was a 'Yes' from Dempsey's side and nothing more. He should have known it. The rest of the drive the two men set next to each other in total silence.

Finally Dave stopped the engine when they approached an empty house.

"This is it?" Dempsey asked in surprise slamming the car door behind him.

"Yes. Most of the deals take place here in this street so when we put the equipment up, we would be able to observe them from inside"

"And back up?"

"We can ask for them if we need them" Dave said, opening the door of the van.

15 minutes later they had set up two telescopes, the photo camera and the tape recorder.

"Now all we can do is wait till they show up" Dave leaned backwards into a chair he had taken with him.

Surprised Dempsey had looked at him when he had put that chair up, realising that there was only one.

"And what am I supposed to sit on?" Dempsey asked, starting to get irritated for a second time that evening.

Dave turned around and realised his mistake.

"Oh I'm sorry I forgot" He apologised: "I didn't think of that"

"I can see that" Dempsey tried to be patient: "I'll see or I can find something else in this goddamned house to sit on"

When Dempsey had left the room leaving Dave behind, the last one heaved a big sigh of relief. It's not that Dave hadn't work with Dempsey before in the past, but then there has always been Makepeace at Dempsey's side to calm Dempsey down if he had pushed it to hard. But now that she wasn't there, it seemed to Dave that the whole SI10 could expect more fireworks then they wanted. He had no idea why it had been possible for Dempsey to work for SI10 again. After 2 years, Dave thought that he would never showed up anymore, but then to his surprise, here he was again. More irritating and annoying than he had ever been before.

Dempsey crossed every room downstairs trying to find a chair or at least something to sit on without any luck. All the rooms were empty. He wanted to walk upstairs when a loud noise got his attention. It came, he thought, from the house next door. He hadn't pay any attention on that house, more focused as he had been on this one. It sounded like a scream, but he wasn't sure. Returning to the room, in which he had left Dave behind, he heard that noise again.

"Did you hear that?" He asked Dave who was sitting behind one of the telescopes now and observing the street.

"Hear what?" Dave tried to switch his attention between Dempsey and what happened on the street.

"That scream" Dempsey explained, asking himself if Dave was deaf or something.

"Sorry, I didn't hear anything" but on that same moment another, even louder, scream filled the air.

"There it is. I believe it comes from next door"

"Can be" Dave still paid not really attention to it, he was too focused on the dealers on the street.

"Will you be quiet?" Dempsey screamed hoping to reach the people next door: "I try to do my job here!"

But the sounds didn't stop. They became louder and louder and even more screaming could be heard.

"I think it's some family dispute" Dave shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't imagine why Dempsey made such a big deal about it. They had a job to do, not interfering in some kind of family disagreement.

Then all of a sudden, it seemed or hell broke down. Someone else started to scream now as well and something hit the wall between the two houses.

"That's it!" Dempsey stormed out of the room followed by Dave who yelled after him: "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Dempsey, you can't do that!" Dave grabbed Dempsey's arm trying to hold him back from storming inside the next house.

"You'll blow our whole operation if you storm in there now!"

"They had blown it already for us. Look" Dempsey pointed his finger in the direction of the street: "You see, they're all gone. No dealers, nobody. So the only thing I can do now is to try to make an end on this family dispute"

"We're not here for that!"

"No. But then at least we haven't been here for nothing" He pushed Dave's hand away from his arm and walked outside, he left Dave behind, who stand there in total disbelief and not knowing what to do next.

The screaming and the loud noises became louder when Dempsey entered the other house. he gave the front door a hard push with his foot and almost felt inside with it when the door opened immediately, because it wasn't locked. With his gun in his hand he reached the living room where in the corner two people were standing. A man was holding a knife against a woman's throat. The two of them were so totally overwhelmed by Dempsey's appearances, they both could only stared at him and didn't react.

"Drop that knife!" Dempsey yelled against the man: "Drop it. Now!"

Slowly the man throw the knife in the corner of the room. But he was still holding the woman by her arm.

Dempsey just wanted to scream to the man to let the woman go, when something in the corner of his eye got his attention. Around a door was a gun pointed on him! He dropped to the ground, just in time to hear a bullet skimmed over his head that hit the wall behind him. Without any warning, Dempsey fired his own gun and he heard a body tumbling down. The man and the woman were still standing at the same spot as before as if they were glued to the ground.

"I warned you" Dempsey said to the man in spite he would have any intention to pick up the knife again. Then he walked over to the door still holding his gun in both hands ready to shoot again if necessary.

Carefully he peaked around the door. On the ground laid a body. Bleeding like hell from a shot wound in the chest. Dempsey went white as a sheet when he saw what happened. Running a hand through his hair a few times in total frustration, he knelt down next to the body putting his gun away. Seconds later he heard running footsteps coming closer till they stopped behind him.

"Dempsey! Dempsey!" Dave screamed: "Are you okay?" When he didn't react, he heard that Dave said something in the RT in his hand. But he had no clue what it could be.

"Dempsey! Dempsey!" Dave tried again with a more urgent voice now. Still no reaction. Dempsey felt Dave giving him a little squeeze in his right shoulder to give him some support. But Dempsey still couldn't say a word, he was just sitting there on the ground next to the body, feeling totally bewildered and with a small hand resting in his.


	13. Chapter 13

Chas ran through the corridor of the SI10 building when he heard Dave's voice begging for an ambulance. When he picked up the receiver to response at the call and he heard what happened, he had to sit down. He knew that he had to inform Spikings immediately, but he was afraid of the man's reaction.

"He did what?" Spikings yelled at Chas when the last one broke the news as easy as possible.

"I don't know the exact details, but Dave said that Dempsey had shot someone and that he needed an ambulance" Chas said a little hesitatingly knowing what kind of impact the news must have on the other man.

"It supposed to be an observation! How could that end in a shoot out? I warned him. I wanted some answers. Not dead bodies"

"I don't know Gov"

"Come with me Chas" Spikings winked at him and marched then out of his office with an angry look on his face.

A short time later both men arrived at the scene just in time to see some paramedics leaving the house with a stretcher which they shoved into the ambulance. Spikings head turned from left to right and back. This was not the house that he had suggested to use for the observation.

He went inside still followed by Chas, but both men almost bummed into Dempsey who obvious had plans to leave the house. Spikings stretched out his hand to stop him.

"And where the hell do you think you are going?" Spikings asked with a voice cold as ice.

"With them" Dempsey pointed with a finger at the ambulance which started to drive away already.

"You aren't going anywhere!"

"I have to!" Dempsey wanted to pass through Spikings, but the man just did a step aside to block Dempsey's way.

"Come on Chief" Dempsey begged, hoping that the man in front of him would give in, but he didn't.

"You stay here Lieutenant. And that's an order! Stay with him Chas" Spikings walked away into the living room where Dave stood together with a man and a woman. The woman was crying.

"Can somebody tell me what happened?" Spiking asked looking from Dave to the other two.

Three people started to talk simultaneous. Spikings couldn't make any sense of it.

"Slow down" he said with holding up one hand to let them all three close their mouths again.

"You first" and he pointed at Dave: "What the hell are you doing here? You suppose to be next door. Or did the two of you used the wrong house as observation post?" he added a little worried now. That would explain at least Dave's and Dempsey's presence here.

"No Sir. We were next door, but then Dempsey heard some screaming and he just stormed in here. I tried to stop him, but you know Dempsey Sir..."

Spikings slowly counted to ten in silence to calm himself down. He should have known it.

"And then?" Spikings asked when Dave stared at a point at the wall if he had seen something there.

"I don't know" Dave added quietly: "I stayed behind till I heard a shot. I thought someone had shot at him so I ran inside here as well. I saw this man and woman standing in the room and I found Dempsey in that room over there sitting on the ground next to the body the paramedics just picked up"

"You haven't been here when the shooting took place?"

"No Sir. Did I have to?" Dave became a little worried now, had he done something wrong?

Spiking took a deep breath. He thought on what Sergeant Makepeace would have done in a situation like this. Probably just stick with Dempsey if she had liked it or not. With her on Dempsey's side, this shoot out would have never taken place in the first place.

"And the dealers?" Spikings had almost forgotten why they had been there.

"They were already gone. These two made too much noise, I think they scared them off"

"Great" Spikings mumbled to nobody in particular.

"But I guess I taped everything" Dave said, hoping that at least that would be a positive thing.

"You guess? You don't even know it for sure?" Spikings turned around in total disbelief. He regretted now that he had send Dave away with Dempsey on this case. They hardly had be able to work together in the past. He had hoped that Dave had made some progress during the last 2 years, but he had been wrong. Dave was still not used at working with a partner. Perhaps he never would.

"Alright then. I'll ask Chas to write a statement down from these two people. You come with me"

Dave walked a little sheepish side by side with Spikings back to the hall way where Chas and Dempsey were involved in the mean time in a big argument. You could hear their voices from far away. They were yelling at each other and obvious had a total different opinion about something.

"Stop it. Both of you!" Spikings could feel his blood pressure raise again. This wasn't good for his health. This wasn't good at all!

"Chas go inside and write down what the two people inside have to say. You..." he looked at Dave: "You pick up all the equipment from next door after you had brought me the tape you have recorded"

Dave almost ran away. Glad that he didn't have to hear what Spikings had to say to Dempsey. He thought it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

"And you Lieutenant" Now that everybody was out of hearing distance he paid his full attention to the man in front of him: "Why did you have to run in here like a Lone Ranger? I thought that you had learnt something from your 2 years in New York by doing desk work most of the time? You have been able to behave yourself then. Why can't you do that here as well? Damn you Dempsey. Your first case since you had returned and you've blown it already!"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Dempsey tried to defend himself.

"You didn't?" Spikings couldn't help it, but it sounded more sarcastic then he had had in mind.

"Come on Chief. You know me better, I would never do that!"

Spikings didn't respond to that, because he saw Dave returning with a tape in his hand.

"Is that the tape?" Dave nodded, trying to avoid looking in Dempsey's direction.

"You taped everything?" Dempsey asked, starting to get a little more hope than he had had before.

"Yes, but I don't know if there's something to hear on it of the screaming or the shooting"

"We'll see. You stay here with Chas and wait for the forensic team to arrive. Then you can drive back to the SI10 building in the van with him"

"And me? What about me?" Dempsey almost knew already what Spiking's answer would be.

"You come with me"

In total silence Dempsey slipped in the car next to Spikings. When he had slammed the car door behind him and sat down, he felt instantly miserable. It seemed if the whole situation finally sank in. That he realised deep down inside now what he had done. He started to shiver. Putting his arms around him he tried to get control over his body again, but he failed. He had shot so many people, the biggest criminals in the past. But that had always been people who had deserved it. One way or another. But he had never shot someone like this before in his entire life as he had done tonight: shooting a 6 years old boy who tried probably only one thing: protecting his mum and dad for being shot!


	14. Chapter 14

Spikings threw the tape at the back seat of the car and went inside as well. One look at Dempsey was enough to tell him how bad he must feel inside. The man was sweating like hell now and looked straight ahead if he was afraid that when he moved his head something terrible should happen again.

When Spikings started the engine, the forensic team arrived. Putting the window down he exchanged some words with the men and then drove away. From time to time he wanted to say something to Dempsey, but the last one had obvious no intention to talk. He was just sitting there giving the impression that his whole world had fallen apart.

Still in total silence, they arrived at the car park of the SI10 building.

"I need your statement as well tonight Lieutenant"

"I know"

"Let's go inside then"

Both men walked up the stairs to the SI10 office. To their surprise there were still some people working and when they entered their eyes immediately got focused on one of them: Dempsey as if the others already knew what had happened. Dempsey pretended of not seeing their glances and was glad that Spikings invited him in his office and closed the door behind him.

"We need to talk"

Spikings took a pen and paper and waited till Dempsey set down as well.

"Hopefully you realise that this is serious Dempsey? Can you tell me in your own words what happened out there?"

When Dempsey started to talk, it seemed it wasn't him. If someone else did the talking for him. He had no clue what he was saying and Spikings noticed it as well.

"Try to concentrate" Spiking advised him over and over again, but without too much luck.

"I should have known that there must have been a kid somewhere in the house" Dempsey said more to himself then to Spikings.

"How do you suppose to know that?"

"I don't know. My instincts must have told me that"

"Dempsey? Did you identify yourself to the people in that room?"

"What?"

"I said: did you mention to the people inside the room that you were a cop?"

Bewildered Dempsey realised that he didn't and nodded his head.

"You didn't? You just stormed in there with a gun in your hand and "forgot" to tell them that you were a police officer?" Spikings wondered.

"I'm afraid so" Dempsey knew what that meant.

"Then it wouldn't be a wonder that someone shot at you!"

"But I wasn't the first one who shoot!"

"That doesn't matter. You have to identify yourself first before you shoot. You know that"

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry. Is that what you like to hear?" Dempsey rose up from his chair and was now pacing the room.

"You made a mistake Dempsey. You have to take the consequences of it"

"And you think I'm not doing that? Damn. I pulled the trigger of my gun and shot that little boy. I can never put that bullet back into it if I wanted it or not. I have to live with that for the rest of my life!" he started to get angry.

At that moment there was a little knock on the door and as the door opened behind them, Chas peaked his head around it.

"What?" Spikings asked a little irritated.

"I thought you like to know Gov, that the forensic team found a bullet into the wall and we put the tape that Dave had made on the recorder. I think it would be wise to listen to it boss. And by the way: they are operating on that boy now" when he had said that he gave Dempsey a wink and walked away leaving the door open behind him.

Dempsey had no idea what he must think of that little wink that Chas had given him. Was it a wink to encourage him, a wink out of sympathy or was it someone else? Had they realised that it had been a choice between a shooting or being shot? He really hoped so. The only thing he knew for sure was, that it's gonna be a long, long night.

*****

Harry felt exited. Today was the day that she finally could start with her second part of her way to recovery. Nurses had already packed her belongings in a bag and most of them had said goodbye to her already. She had thanked the physiotherapist for all what she had done so far for her and now she waited impatiently on Dempsey's arrival and the ambulance to bring her to the rehabilitation centre. It seemed that the time past by so slowly. She glanced every 5 minutes at her watch, but time just crept forwards.

It was already 9:30, but still no sign of Dempsey. Had he forgotten what he had promised her yesterday? Or had he overslept? Had he indeed been so tired as he had assured her he was? Or.....She wouldn't think about the last possibility that crossed her mind. That he had indeed been out to party and that he went home not till the early hours of the day. Even her roommates started to ask questions where that hunk of her was. All the excitement that she had felt earlier had gone by now.

When she heard some noises on the corridor, she hoped that it would be him, but it wasn't him. It were 2 paramedics with a stretcher. Just when they were switching her over from the bed to the stretcher she heard someone saying: "Has she been transported already or not?"

"They are still inside Sir. You're just in time"

Harry felt a big relief inside. He was there. Dempsey was there just as he had promised he would be. But when he entered the room, she hardly could believe her eyes. He looked so tired and obvious hadn't had any time for a shave or changing clothes. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"What happened to you?" she asked worried: "You look awful!"

"Good morning. Nothing to worry about" and he gave her a kiss on her cheek apologising himself at the same time by the paramedics with the words: "I'm Mr. Dempsey. She overreacted a little bit"

"A little bit?" Harry wondered: "It seems to me, you haven't sleep at all"

Dempsey bit his lip. He knew that he looked terrible, but discussing that here and now with Harry wouldn't be a wise idea. Luckily she had no idea where he had been through the last 12 hours. That he had moved heaven and earth to be with her right now just as he promised to be. If it had depended on Spikings, he would have been still at the office. Thanks to Chas, who helped him persuade the boss, he had made it just in time.

Harry didn't want to think about it much longer. He was there and when he squeezed her hand and whispered to her: "Are you ready for the big step? I am" she could only smile at him.

After saying goodbye to her roommates in the hospital, the paramedics drove the stretcher downstairs and pushed her into the ambulance.

"Are you coming with us Sir? Or are you driving with your own car?"

"No. I'm coming with you"

Surprised Harry turned her head and for a short moment of time their eyes met. Harry knew that Dempsey was lying, she saw it in his eyes, but why? Dempsey on the other hand felt a little guilty. He wanted that he could tell Harry what happened last night. That they could share his feelings about shooting that little boy with her. But he couldn't. He even couldn't tell her that Chas had dropped him at the entrance of the hospital and would pick him up later today at the rehabilitation centre. He wanted to drive himself but Chas insisted on the fact to deliver him personally. Making it very clear to him that otherwise the deal he had made with Spikings would be over and he had to stay at the office till they had filled in all the details of the shooting.

During the drive to the rehabilitation centre, the paramedics asked Harry a lot of questions. Harry tried to answer them as best as possible. But when they asked her how it all happened, Harry felt a little uncomfortable. She could feel Dempsey's eyes resting on her face. They had never really talked about the moment of truth yet.

"Err" Harry hesitated: "I was watching TV and when I wanted to stand up to make something to eat, I couldn't do that anymore and I felt down on the floor. Took me two and a half hours to creep to the phone and made an emergency call"

"You have been a lucky lady you made it by yourself. I suppose she scared you to death when you found out?" one of the paramedics asked and turned over to Dempsey.

"To be honest, I didn't know. I was in America at that time"

"I thought already that I heard an American accent here. But I assume you came back as soon as possible?"

"I did" was all Dempsey said. They didn't have to know everything.

"Well, I have seen miracles happen in this rehabilitation centre. So I hope for you that everything turns up just fine for you in the future"

"Thank you" was all Harry said, really hoping that the man was right.

10 minutes later, the ambulance stopped for a big white building.

"End station" the paramedic joked, opening the back door of the ambulance. A second later the other paramedic joined the first one and together they loaded the stretcher out of the car. After asking on which floor, the second, they had to be and taking the elevator, they rolled her into her new room. A nurse came up to them immediately asking the paramedics for the files and introduced herself to Harry and Dempsey as Felicia.

"Thanks for everything" Dempsey shook hands with the two men and they left the room again with the stretcher.

"So this will be your home for the upcoming weeks. Well, as far as I can see, it looks great"

"I think so" Harry didn't sound convinced.

"You don't think so?" Dempsey asked hearing the hesitation in her voice.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Harry. I told you already, we're in this together" He took a chair to sit next to her bed: "I'll be here as much as I can"

"I know"

"But you still have doubts, haven't you? About me or...?"

"Not about you. No. Not anymore" at least not on this moment, Harry thought in silence.

"I'm glad to hear that" He was just about to bend over to her to give her a little kiss on the cheek when he heard someone humming behind them.

"Sorry to interrupt something. Let me introduce myself: I'm John. That bed over there is mine" and he pointed on a bed on the other corner of the room.

"You're lying with male and female together in one room?" Dempsey asked surprised.

"Yeah. But in the third bed lays a woman. I just came to pick up something, will be away in a second"

Dempsey narrowed his eyes and could hardly wait till the man, who had introduced himself as John, had left the room again.

"Nobody told me that you are lying mixed up in here!" he said a little agitated.

"Dempsey!" Harry warned him hearing on his voice that he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

"I suggest that you ask for a room of your own!"

"No way! You know how I hated that private room in the hospital. And John seems a nice person"

"Yeah" Dempsey answered with his mind on something else.

"If I didn't know you better, I should think that you're jealous of John!"

"Is that so strange? He'll be with you in one room day and night, and I..."

Harry interrupted him with a smile on her face: "You are jealous!"

"I'm not"

"Yes you are. But will you please promise me one thing: that you don't persuade the nurses or god knows whom to give me another room?"

"I would never do that"

"You will, I know you. And you would probably even succeed. But I don't want it. Will you promise me that?"

With hesitation and not quiet sure about it he admitted.

"Thanks" was all Harry said, looking at him with a big smile on her face. She knew, this time she had won from him.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry observed Dempsey with a surprised look on her face when she saw him putting her clothes and other belongings in the closet in the corner of her room. There were three of them, one for every patient in the room and the middle one was hers. Harry hoped that her house would look the same when she returned to it in a couple of weeks time, because Dempsey had always been the one who had been able to transform her house in a total mess when he had stayed over for a night. Wet towels on the bathroom floor, socks and trousers on every chair you could imagine and a kitchen that looked like if an earthquake had taken place in it when he had used it and now.....he looked like a complete different man! Maybe indeed he had changed his life. She kept her fingers crossed.

After closing the door of the closet, he took a chair to sit next to Harry's bed.

"What's the plan for the rest of the day? Do you know that?" he asked.

"Not really. I think they will have a little chat with me about my condition"

"But they already know everything!"

"Yeah, but that seems to be the procedure" and indeed, just 5 minutes later the same nurse, Felicia, showed up. Saying that they will hold an Adl Check.

"What kind of check? I never heard of such one before"

Felicia gave Dempsey a little smile.

"I understand that. But for people in Mrs. Makepeace condition it's a normal check up. We control her blood pressure, her lungs, and where she is able to at the moment and on what we need to work on the upcoming weeks and more important: with which therapists she can work with the best"

"More than one then?" Dempsey wondered and thought back on all the brochures he had read about the condition of Harry. But none of them had written about all these treatments.

"We have all kind of therapists here in the building. I'll give you an information book, so you can read more about our treatment, the building, your rights here and so on" she handed Harry a white book: "I'll come back for the Adl check in a half hour time. That will give you some time together to discuss the book"

Felicia left the room again. Leaving Dempsey and Harry behind.

"Wow!" Dempsey said amazed when he turned over the pages in the book: "I thought that it would be only physiotherapy that they would give you. But there's a whole team involved here. I'm impressed. Look..." when he pointed on the page where they mentioned not only a physiotherapist, but all the others as well.

"You even have a personal attendant here"

Harry turned over to a page with more information about the rehabilitation centre. She wanted to read the other pages with all the therapists later when Dempsey would be away and she should have more privacy to let everything sink in.

"Here are the visiting hours. That is the most important thing for us" Harry gave Dempsey a smile and he smiled back. Knowing exactly why she had said that. Especially for Harry, that would be the highlights of the day.

"Let me see" Dempsey took his little notice book from inside his pocket and started to write.

"Treatments are coming first and then the visitors" she read: "Well I hope they are not planning them while you're visiting me"

"Well, I'll just come to watch you then" Dempsey said, knowing already what her comment on that would be and indeed. He heard her saying: "No you won't!"

"Come on Harry! At least I'll be able to see how much progress you're making in here. Or do you want that to be a secret for me?" he added, suddenly a little worried. Maybe indeed she didn't want him having around when she had a therapy.

"I don't know about that. Maybe your presence will distract me so much that I wouldn't make any progress at all" she said more to herself then to him. Not realising how she hurt him with saying that. But for Dempsey it was as if she had slapped him in his face. There it was again, that turning away from him. And not for the first time since he came back and he was afraid that it wouldn't be the last time either. If she still didn't trust him. Or was there more?

"I know you better. If you're concentrating on something, nobody will be able to distract you. Not even me" he said, trying to ignore the fear that was lying on the surface of his head.

"Have you seen this?" Dempsey pointed on another page of the book: "They even have a model dwelling that belongs to this building. That's something for us for the future"

"Why?" Harry asked, she really saw nothing in this idea.

"Well, we haven't lived together for more then 2 years and by the time you'll be able to come home it will be even longer. I guess, that would be a good opportunity to see if we still can live with each other or not"

"Dempsey? You forget something here"

"Oh yeah? And that is?"

"The fact that we have never really lived together in the past. We have spent evenings and nights together at my place, but...." when she had said that last thing, Harry felt a little uncomfortable. Discussing these sorts of things with Dempsey had always been a problem for her and now perhaps even more.

"So what's the problem then?" Dempsey had no idea why spending a weekend in the model dwelling together would be different from spending them at Harry's home, but for Harry it was obvious a problem. And a very big one. He could see it at her face. But he had no idea why she made such a big issue of it.

"Okay, forget it" he gave in. The last thing that he wanted now, was to upset her.

"Thanks" Harry whispered, knowing that it must be a puzzle for him why she had reacted so heavily on something, in his eyes, innocent thing. Hopefully one day she would be able to explain her reaction on this to him and that he understood her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your time together, but we wanted to do that Adl Check now with Mrs. Makepeace if you both don't mind?"

Dempsey and Harry had been so occupied discussing the model dwelling thing, that they hadn't realised that two nurses had come into the room in the meantime. Harry wondered how much they had heard from their conversation and how it must looked like in their eyes. But the two of them were professional enough not to mention anything of the conversation if they had heard something at all.

"Can I stay?" Dempsey asked: "Or do you want me to leave?"

"You are Mrs. Makepeace husband?" One of the nurses opened a file in her hand if she wanted to check that.

"Eh...we are partners" Harry tried to explain.

"Hmm. Partners? What's that suppose to mean?"

"We work together, and eh....well he's my boyfriend" Harry added with a small voice, not looking at Dempsey.

"Well, you can stay if you want eh what's your name?"

"Dempsey, James Dempsey"

"Well. Mr. Dempsey. Family is always permitted to stay and since you seem to be Mrs. Makepeace boyfriend.... I can't send you away, but we know that it always works better if we talk to the patient alone. Without family members having around"

"I understand. Sweetheart I leave you alone then in the, I'm sure capable, hands of these two nurses. I try to be back this evening"

"Try a little harder" Harry begged with a small voice.

"I see what I can do" he bent over to Harry to give her a little kiss on her cheek, but Harry turned her head away from him. She knew what kind of expression this must have given to the two nurses in the room, but that didn't matter to Harry anymore. What could be so important to leave her alone on her first evening here? She couldn't imagine with what excuse he would come up now, but that he wouldn't show up, that was very clear to her. She had seen it in his eyes. He hadn't even hidden it for her! Sometimes she regretted it that she got too emotional involved with him and that she was able to read right through him. Life had been much easier when they were indeed only working partners in the past. A lot easier


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, Harry woke up at her usual time. She had heard from her other roommates yesterday, a lady from around her age, that they were permitted here to sleep till 8 o'clock in the morning. What a luxury! They had also brought her a wheelchair yesterday and one of the technicians at the centre had installed a phone at her room. With that she had tried to contact Dempsey last evening at her home, but without any luck. He had been indeed away! Where was he? Partying again like he had obvious done last night? But why? Why was he doing this to her? She needed him here. She had left her telephone number on her answering machine. It had given her a strange feeling to hear her own voice and not being at home herself. Totally disappointed she had called Angela to talk to at least someone now that Dempsey wasn't there.

Felicia had told her, that she had to wait in bed till a nurse would be available to put her in her wheelchair and roll her to the bathroom. Harry had no idea how they should do that. She had had her first physiotherapy session today in the centre, but climbing in and out the bed was something she wasn't able to so far. Well, just wait and see, she wasn't the first patient here so don't worry!

Harry just dozed away for a second time when she woke up from a strange noise. First she had no idea what it could be, but then she realised it was her own phone! Still a little sleepy she picked up the receiver and said her name. But the next moment she was fully awake when she heard a voice saying: "Good morning sweetheart. Did I wake you up?" It was as if all of a sudden the sun came up. It was Dempsey. It was him!

"No I'm awake" Harry answered still surprised that she had heard him saying the words he had said to her so many times in the past. Obvious he remembered them as much as she did.

"I wanted to hear your voice. I wished I could come over right now, but I don't think that would be a wise idea"

"No, I don't think so" Harry wanted to add something else, the words 'I miss you' but that wouldn't be a smart idea either. So she remained silent and waited to hear what Dempsey had to say.

"What's the plan today?''

"I have physiotherapy twice and something that has everything to do with making my right hand and arm more functional"

"Sounds good. Look, I'll be with you later today. Don't know what time, but I'll be there"

Harry bit her lip. Had he noticed that she had seen through him yesterday? She really hoped so.

"Do your best today. Do you hear me?"

"I will" Harry answered softly. She felt a big lump in her throat. If she could start crying every minute if Dempsey would continue to speak to her. But probably he had noticed that, because he only said: "The more you practice, the sooner you'll be home again. Till later sweetheart" and before she could say something in return, he hang up. Feeling lighter and happier than she had been before, Harry put the receiver down.

The rest of the day was filled with god knows how many therapies. At physiotherapy she had learned how to push herself out of the bed and to climb in and out of the wheelchair, she had done some exercises for her fingers and she had been to a fitness studio downstairs in the centre. The last time she had done some fitness had been years ago. Dempsey had always tried to persuade her to use the fitness equipment he had in his house together, but she only had accepted his offer once. Now she really regretted that.

They had also invited her that morning to participate in a meeting to be in touch with other patients with the same problems as she had for later that week. Harry had doubts about that. On the one hand, she would like to know more about what she could expected in the future, but at the other hand: wouldn't it be better to wait and see first where she would be able to? Wasn't it a little too early for something like this?

And Harry had still her doubts when around 3 o'clock that afternoon a very familiar face put his head around the door.

"Hi sweetheart" Dempsey whispered softly when he saw her lying on the bed with her eyes closed. She looked tired.

"Worked hard today?" he asked when he saw her yawn.

"Hard? It feels more like top sport to me" Harry admitted and yawned again, before noticing something: 'Hey, what are you doing?"

Harry looked at him in total horror and disbelief when she saw him kicking off his shoes. Before she could say or do something, he had climbed on the bed. Automatically she shoved a little bit to the left not even noticing that she did it. He stretched himself out next to her.

"Are you out of your mind? You can do this!" she whispered in his ear: "I'm only been here one day remember? I don't have these kind of privileges build up in here yet!"

"You don't need privileges for that Harry. And besides, I can use some rest as well"

Dempsey put his arm around Harry and held her very tight now.

"Oh you have no idea how many times I wanted to do this already when you laid in that damned hospital bed" he whispered in her hair.

"I must be glad then that you haven't done it before?" Harry tried to escape to push Dempsey's arm away, but without any luck.

"Come on Harry. It has been such a long time since I've been able to hold you in a proper way!"

"Proper way? Is that what you call this? A proper way? Sorry but I don't think so" With a lot of difficulty, Harry pushed herself up into a sitting position. She turned her head around to look down on Dempsey who laid there with his head on her pillow and with an amused smile around his mouth.

"This isn't funny!" Harry said, hoping that nobody else would turn up in her room. This was embarrassing enough without anyone would see it.

"Who said that it must be funny?" Dempsey stretched his hand out to Harry's waist where his thumb slowly started to turn circles.

"Get your hands off me" Harry slapped his hand away, but as soon as she had done that, his hand returned.

"Hey, just enjoy it" Dempsey suggested when his hand crept higher. This time slipping under her shirt. Harry wriggled to get away from his demanding hand. She wished she could just climb over him and out off the bed, but that was impossible at the moment. And he knew that of course too.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" he advised her. Harry had no idea what he meant by that. The wriggling, or her thoughts of climbing out off the bed.

"Then don't do this to me!" she said with a lot more despair in her voice now. It was then that Dempsey started to realise that she meant it. That he probably indeed had gone a little bit too far in here. That what he wanted so desperately was a total other thing then what she had in mind. When Harry saw Dempsey pushing himself up to a sitting position next to her and watched how he jumped off the bed, she felt a big relief deep down inside her. She was glad that he had come to his sense before it would have been too late. But she also noticed deep down inside that she had missed this all more then she had expected. His touching, his caressing, his possibility to arouse her as much as she could arouse him, everything from there lovemaking from 2 years ago came back to her. But she had to stop him, there was no other way. She just had to!

"I'm sorry" Dempsey put on his shoes again and took a seat next to Harry's bed avoiding to look at her.

"Dempsey, I understand how difficult it must be for you too. This whole thing. You didn't ask for it"

"Oh and you did?" he suggested.

"Of course not. I had asked for something more pleasant then if I had had the choice"

"I got a little too enthusiastic I'm afraid. Again I'm sorry"

Harry looked at Dempsey but when their eyes met, they both knew that they could never forget this little intimate thing they had shared in years.

To change the subject, Harry picked up her schedule from the bed side and handed it over to Dempsey and told him about the meeting later that week.

"I will only participate in it, if you'll be there as well" Harry said a little hesitated.

"You don't sound too convinced about it"

"To be honest: I don't know if I can handle this already. Speaking with others about illnesses is not exactly my favourite thing. You know that" Especially not now, Harry thought. God knows how many questions showed up their about past and present and which she wouldn't be able to answer right now without giving all her secrets away.

"If you want to go, I'll be there. If that will encourage you" Harry slipped her hand into Dempsey's. He gave it a little squeeze.

"It would be hard for you to go on your own" he added.

Oh my god, Harry thought, you don't even know half how hard it would be.

"Alright. That's a deal then"

Harry lay down on her bed again. She took a deep breath and yawned again. She felt exhausted. If she had run a marathon of 40 miles or even more in half an hour. John had warned her that this would happen the first 3 or 4 weeks of her treatment, but she had laughed about it but she knew now he had been right.

"I'll go home, you need some rest" Dempsey stood up from his chair: "I'll call you later. Okay?"

"You don't have to go" Harry answered, fighting to keep her eyes open. Before Dempsey had left the room, Harry was fast asleep without noticing that he had put a kiss on her forehead and had whispered: "Sleep well Princess" to her.


	17. Chapter 17

_For those who waited impatiently __and wanted so badly to know what happened to Harry in the first place, here's finally the chapter with the explanation! Now we only have to wait till Harry find the courage to tell Dempsey the rest of what she had been hidden for him.........._

_***********_

"Do you want to use your wheelchair?" Dempsey asked when he showed up at the very last minute before they had to go upstairs.

"My wheelchair, sitting on a normal chair for a long time is still not very pleasant for me" Harry answered trying not to mention to Dempsey how worried she had been that he wouldn't be there.

"Okay then let's go" Dempsey said when he pushed the wheel chair to the elevators. More patients joined them during their trip to the 5th floor of the building. Some of them accompanied by a partner, others alone. Harry was glad she had Dempsey by her side. She don't want to think about the fact that she had to be here on her own.

When they entered the room, there was a round table standing in front of them with 16 chairs and a big TV which stood in the corner.

"We'll show you some introduction movie first about living with the effects of a CVA (*) and what it means to have had one. After that we'll start a discussion about it and you can ask some questions" a nurse, introducing herself as Jane, told them when they had all taken their seats.

Harry searched for Dempsey's hand when the movie started. He squeezed hers. It was obvious that she needed his assistance now more then ever. Some parts of the movie were not a big surprise for him, because he had read about it already in the brochures Chas had given to him, but when he watched Harry's face, it seemed that for her most of it came as a total shock. He saw her eyes sometimes wide opened and on other times closed if she couldn't watch it anymore. Maybe the confrontation this way with what happened and what she could expect in the future was a little too hard for her? And when Dempsey looked around, he saw more patients having the same problems as Harry. Strange. Would it be possible that the partners had accept the facts already but that the patients hadn't? Dempsey wondered. That would be the only explanation for it.

When the movie ended, Jane pushed the TV screen aside.

"We realize that most parts of this movie must be very confronted for people who are suffering from a CVA. For most of you it will probably also the first time that you'll heard about

the right word for it and that you don't have to describe what happened to you to family and friends anymore as "just this". The sooner you use the official designation for it, the sooner you'll accept your illness" Jane explained looking around and knowing that for some patients in the room it would be very hard to accept what happened to them.

"You can also use the word stroke for it. It's a more current word for it and most people know then exactly where you're talking about. You have seen in our movie that we can split the disease in two parts. The brain infarct and the cerebral haemorrhage. The last one is almost the most light one of the two. But in both cases there has been a short moment of time that the brains hadn't had enough blood and as a result of it, parts of the brain didn't get enough oxygen and these parts got damaged"

Jane stopped for a moment to see what the impact of her words was on her listeners. She observed that most of them started to listen with even more interest.

"We have three phases in a CVA. First the acute one. That's the phase you all have left behind you already, the time you have spend in the hospital, then we have the revalidation phase in the revalidation centre in which you are currently and at last we have the clinical phase. That's when you'll be able to go home, mostly after 12 weeks revalidation"

One of Harry's partisans lifted her hand: "What I wanted to ask, is there always a totally recovery possible after a CVA?"

"Unfortunately we can't guarantee that. You must realize that what has been damaged in your head, must be repaired, but that's not always possible. Your body have to do the reparation by itself, we can only help it doing it and hoping that everything will function the way as it did before. I wished I could say that everybody will recover for a fully 100%, but I must be realistic, that practically never happens. But that wouldn't say that you have to give up hope immediately and you won't be able to live a almost normal life anymore. Sometimes even after 2 or more years you can still see progress in your condition. You have to have faith in it. Without having faith, you're lose the battle. It depends also on which side the paralysis took place. On your left side, then mostly you will also have speaking problems or on your right side. And if you are right handed or left handed"

"It would be easier if you were right handed then?"

"Not exactly. But when you are right handed and became paralysed on the right side of your body, it would be a little easier to switch that arm on again then when you are left handed. But when you are not used to the fact to use your left arm with doing most of the things in your life you get tired very soon with doing that and you have only one thing in mind: to activate that right arm as soon as possible. We see that happen over and over again here. That patients recover faster from a CVA on their right one side as on their left side if your are right handed during all your life and visa versa. The same counts for the walking"

"That's why you are able to use your fingers of your right hand a little bit already" Dempsey whispered in Harry's ear who nodded her head.

Jane looked at the two of them with a warned expression on her face. If she wanted to say something like: 'no whispering here in this room between the two of you' Harry felt a little uncomfortable. If she was back at school and she could receive a scolding every minute. She squeezed Dempsey's hand a little faster, hoping he understand the hint.

"What I haven't discussed her so far is the fact that a CVA not only have visible but also invisible effects. There's a possibility that you won't be able to speak anymore or that you have difficulties with putting words and sins together. We have speech-training for that. It's also possible that someone's personality had changed completely"

"Is that only a problem for family and friends or for the patient as well?" It was a question that crossed Dempsey's mind and before he had even think about it, he had spoken it out. Could that perhaps been an explanation for the fact that he sometimes thought that Harry had become a total stranger to him?

He felt Harry glancing at him.

"Sometimes it is indeed a problem for the patient as well. The patient gets angry because he or she got the feeling that nobody understand him or her anymore. But for the partner it's mostly the most difficult part. He/she got a partner back who had changed so completely that it some cases you have to start all over again. It's not the person anymore you fall in love with, it's a complete stranger for you and that's, obvious, very hard to deal with"

"What you suggested is that....." one of the male persons in the group shoved a little uncomfortable on his chair: "Well it's possible that you split up after you partner had had a CVA?''

"It's possible yes" Jane admitted: "A CVA can bring partners closer to each other, but can also split them up. When contact between partners became more difficult it depends on the other, healthy, partner or he/she is willing to fit in with the new circumstances or not"

"And what about children?" the question came from a young man early in his 30th's.

"Depends on how old the children are" Jane answered.

"If they are young?"

"Well with young children it's mostly a little easier as with older ones. When they are older, they have had years behind them in which the parent was healthy and a child should take it as his or her responsibility to take care of the parent with the disease now and try to help the other parent as much as possible. For younger children it's a total different story. They have to crow up with a parent who can't walk properly. Can't do the normal things like going out shopping with her mother, if it's a daughter, anymore or plying football with his father if it's a boy. That can have a great impact on the life of a child. Especially when he or she realized that in other families these problems don't exist"

"Is there an advise for parents of these young children how do deal with these problems? How to prepare them?''

Dempsey heard Harry breathing very heavily now. He had no idea why, but this question must have a great impact on her.

"No unfortunately there isn't. But young children are very flexible and for them it's, mostly, easier to deal with the whole situation as an elderly child"

"And what about guilt?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you have to feel yourself guilty if eh......" It was Dempsey again who started to ask this question, but in fact had no real clue how to bring it up in a more normal way. At least with not letting Harry and all the others know what he had been hidden for her.

"Eh feeling guilty if you want to stay the whole day in here together with your partner, but you couldn't" Dempsey tried. Hoping that it sounded at least a little reasonable to everyone, but he knew how it sounded to Harry. As a complete lie.

"For the one who's lying here, it's sometimes hard to imagine that there's a whole world outside this building. It's a small community on its own in here. As long as you haven't been home during your treatment here, you have to trust and depend on the people who's coming to visit you. That's hard sometimes. You have no idea what your partner is doing and you have to focus yourself completely on the therapies. These two world clinched. You like to tell what happened inside here but your partner has no idea why these things are so important for you and has other things on his mind. Like: what will I have for dinner tonight or how do I bring the kids to school on time tomorrow? That's why we created also special groups for CVA patients and their partners so it's possible to exchange experiences and to help each other. Of course, it's free for everyone to participate in these groups or not. We would never push someone into it" Jane explained.

"And when your partner comes home? What will change then?"

"First of all it's of course great that your partner comes home. You'll be able to see a little bit how it looks like already when he or she stays over during the weekend, but coming home in a permanent situation is a total different thing. This is not something to forget. Probably you expect that you can live you normal life again as before the CVA took place. Unfortunately reality shows us a different story. She or he can do a lot of things by her or his self, but there will be a lot of problems which you didn't realized in the first place. You have to take it step by step and be happy with every progress you make by yourself or together. Don't push the other or get angry when something you planned or wanted turned up totally wrong. You have to learn to live with each other again. And that costs time. Ask other people for help if you want to do something on your own and your partner isn't able to do that or to stay alone for a long period of time. As time being: you'll become more and more creative"

Most of the people in the room tried to let the information they had just heard, sink in. Harry on the other hand, only wanted one thing: to get out of here. She had stopped listen to Jane's words after Dempsey had asked that question about feeling guilty or not. He had mean something totally different here as he had said. She knew that and she was also sure that he had realized it. But she had to deal with almost an even bigger problem now: the feeling of guilty herself. She had promised herself to tell Dempsey everything at her first weekend they would spend together at home. But that could take weeks! Would she been able to keep her mouth shut till she would be home? Could she live with this quilt till then? She should ask Angela if it would be a wise idea to wait or not. It was the only one who she could turn to at the moment and would understand what her dilemma was.

* **CVA **= Cerebro Vasculair Accident also known by its more usual name: **stroke**


	18. Chapter 18

After the meeting, Dempsey exited to talk with some other partners of patients to share some information. Harry had observed him. He had taken all the information in as a sponge, but for her it had been a total nightmare. She couldn't get rid of the fact that the more information he got about living with a partner with a CVA, the more he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Now that they both knew what they could expect from the future and how difficult it probably would be, she couldn't even blame him for that. She wished that she had had a relationship with him as all the others in the room. Being married before this happened, maybe than they would have had a chance, but now......

She was really glad when Dempsey, after half an hour, suggested to roll her back in her wheelchair to her room.

"What was all rubbish about 'feeling guilty if you want to stay the whole day in here together with your partner, but you couldn't' ?" Harry asked when she saw that her roommates weren't there and she didn't have to be afraid that someone else maybe heard what she said.

"What do you mean?" Dempsey answered, meanwhile rolling the wheelchair over to the right side of the bed. The question didn't come as a surprise, half and half he had expected that she would come back to it when she had the chance for it.

"Don't act as if you have no idea where I'm talking about. You disappear at the strange moments of time and you wont tell me _what _you're doing or you're telling me a lie about it. Do you have someone else? Is that it? Are you seeing another woman but are you too afraid to admit it to me?"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated.

"That wouldn't be a surprise. You have heard it yourself. It happened more often between partners when one of them had had a CVA"

Dempsey narrowed his eyes.

"I won't ever do that!"

"Oh and what's the reason than that you disappear from time to time? Can you tell me that?"

"No, unfortunately I can't"

"You see"

"See what?"

"That I'm right"

"Right about what?"

"About having someone else!"

In pure frustration Dempsey took a chair to sit next to Harry's wheelchair.

"Once and for all: if you believe me or not, that's up to you, but _I don't have someone else. _Did you hear me? Harry?"

But Harry didn't react.

"Why are you so uncertain about us?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm afraid of losing you" Harry answered with a soft voice: "I have no idea what I must do without you"

"Then trust me. I have already told you that and I'm afraid I have to do it thousands times more. But okay. I can only ask you: have a little faith in me.... in us. Okay?"

Harry nodded her head. Oh she really wanted so badly she would be able to believe him.

When Dempsey said goodbye to her 2 hours later, Harry still felt uncertain. He had said that he would come back tomorrow. She had bit her lip to hold back the comment that was burning on her lips: 'what are you up to now?' She knew that Dempsey must have seen it in her eyes what she was thinking, but he didn't mentioned it to her for which she was grateful.

That afternoon, after having a long conversation with herself and weigh one idea against the other, Harry decided to make a phone call to Angela.

"He it's good to hear your voice. How is life in the rehabilitation centre?" Angela asked surprised to hear from Harry in the first place.

"Hard work" Harry had no idea how to describe it otherwise.

"You like it there?"

"Yeah, I'm making progress already"

"I told you that you would. But you didn't believe me"

Harry tried to explain to Angela what she had done so far but even the girls were best friends, Harry had the idea that Angela did not really understood what living in here meant. Jane had been right: it was so hard to describe your life that you were living at the moment to someone who was healthy and not had to deal with problems as: what would be the easiest way to butter your bread and cut it with one hand or how to wash yourself and get dressed when you have only one hand available?

"We have had a meeting this morning about living with a stroke" Harry mentioned with a little hesitation.

"And?" Angela asked: "How did that go? Was James there to be with you?"

"Yes he was till....." Harry started to stutter which didn't remained unnoticed to Angela.

"Till what? Harry what's wrong?" Angela already got the impression that Harry didn't phone her to talk about her progress that she had made so far in the centre, but that there was more.

"Till Dempsey started to ask some stupid question about quilt"

Dempsey? Angela thought, why didn't Harry still not used his first name? Was that perhaps the problem? Did James got the idea that he would always be Dempsey for her? That there would never be a possibility anymore to go back to the Harry and James relationship as they had before he left for New York?

"Guilt about what?"

"Angela: you spoke to Dempsey one day after he had returned. Had he said something about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, did he came back because he was still in love with me or out of duty?"

"What a silly question is that!" Angela couldn't believe her ears when she heard Harry asking that.

"Gel, please I have to know!" Harry begged.

"Let me think, I believe I asked him if he perhaps never really loved you and he answered something like' I never stopped loving her. If she had had that impression, she had it all wrong!' ifI'm correct. Why? Harry? Why is this all of a sudden so important to you what the reason would be that James came back to London?"

"Because I have the impression that he's seeing someone else"

"What? He cheats you? You can't be serious. Did he give you that impression?"

"I don't know what to think anymore"

"Did you asked him about it?"

"I did"

"And? What did he say?"

"He denies it"

"And you don't believe him?" 'I kill him' Angela thought in the meantime by herself, if this is really happening, I kill him.

"When he's here with me and I ask him to stay longer, he said he can't. And when I ask him: 'why not' he comes up every time with another excuse. He just disappeared and said I have to trust him, but why is he not telling me the truth? What's so important that he has to hide it for me? Doesn't he understand that I'll started think god knows about it?"

"Harry" Angela tried to choose her words very carefully now: "I guess you overreact this a little bit. Probably this all is just a misunderstanding. And besides: you're still hiding something for him as well, don't forget that"

"That's another thing I wanted to talk about. What do you think: would it be the right time to tell him what happened 2 years ago? Would he open up then to me a little bit more?"

"I told you already in the past: I can't give you an advice on this. You have to make that decision by yourself. I thought you wanted to wait till that first weekend you'll be home together with him? Just the two of you, without hearing ears around? But in my opinion that would be a wise idea. It's not something that you can tell James when you handed him the butter or something like that. I'm joking, but you know what I mean. On the other hand: it can take weeks before you two will have a private weekend. If you are willing to wait that long before telling him, you have to be patient. And learn to trust him"

"That's what he said: that I have to trust him"

"You see, I'm right. I understand why you are so uncertain about everything but you don't have to. James is still deeply in love with you. Believe me"

"I hope you're right"

"The only thing you have to do is to concentrate on your health. Will you promise me that?"

"I will" Harry answered a bit more relieved as she felt before.

"Good girl" and with that words Angela hang up.

Angela slowly put the receiver down. The conversation with Harry had made her not happy. She had been able to reassure Harry, but that didn't mean she was. No the more she thought back on what Harry had told her, the more angry she became. 'Damned James, why are you doing this to her?' To get an answer there was only one way to find out. She picked her car keys up from the table and went to her car. 10 minutes later she parked for Harry's place. There was another car parked in front of it so James must be home.

With expressing more confidence as she felt down deep inside she climbed up the stair and rang the bell. First it seemed if nobody had plans to open up. She rang a second and a third time before she heard a voice yelling from inside: 'I'm coming'. When the door opened, Angela found herself face to face with a Dempsey wearing a robe and with a towel in his hand with which he had obvious started to dry is hair. It was still wet and some drops started to fell on the floor.

"James?" Angela said a little uncomfortable now about the situation.

"Angela? What are you doing here?" but than he realized that she wasn't there without a reason and he added: "Harry. Am I right?"

"May I come in? We need to talk"


	19. Chapter 19

"Alright, come in. I'll give you 10 minutes. I have to leave then." Dempsey opened the door a little wider to let Angela passed: "You want something to drink?" he offered her without waiting for an answer but walking straight to the kitchen.

Angela had followed him, but stood still abruptly in the doorway. Harry's kitchen was a total mess. Cups and plates and leftovers from takeaways were standing everywhere. It was obvious to Angela that Dempsey hadn't done any cleaning at all since he had moved in. When he saw Angela looking around in total horror, he struggled his shoulders and said: "Sorry, haven't had any time to do the dishes etc"

"I don't believe this!"

"I'll clean it up when I have the time"

"Time? In my opinion you have plenty of time. Or....." Angela turned around and walked over to the living room not able to think on the worst scenario that had crossed her mind that Harry maybe had been right. That there was indeed someone else in James's life with whom he spend so much time together perhaps even in Harry's house! Unfortunately the living room didn't make her feel happier. Clothes were hanging on almost every place you could imagine and she also discovered some socks and shoes under the sofa.

"I suppose Harry phoned you?" Dempsey said when he put two glasses on the table and sink down on the sofa putting the belt of his robe a little faster.

"Yeah. Shortly after you left her alone in the rehabilitation centre"

"I wished I could have stayed a little longer" he whispered more to himself as to Angela.

"Must be very hard for the both of you to face the future" Angela tried to let him open up to her.

"I guess I accepted already that it wouldn't be easy, but I got the impression that for Harry realisation didn't took place before today" Dempsey answered, knowing exactly what Angela had had in mind with her question.

"Why do you think that?" Angela was surprised. She had never expected this.

"I don't know. The way she reacted on some questions. And the fact that she's so uncertain about our relationship"

"And you? Are you also uncertain?"

"No"

"James? Did Harry ever told you about Robert? Her ex-husband I mean" Angela saw James frowning his eyebrows.

"She mentioned it once. Yeah, so?"

"So she never told you more about him?"

"He run away with her best friend and that they were all very happy. Isn't that true?"

Angela took a sip of her glass and bit her lip. Why did the two of them never spoke about Robert, Angela wondered. Had it been a forbidden issue or were they both too afraid to talk about it?

"No"

"What happened then?"

"You two really never discussed it, didn't you?"

"Why should we? I thought it wasn't a big issue for Harry anymore"

"Did it never crossed your mind that Harry's so uncertain about you at the moment, because she had been there before in the past?"

"Come on Angela. I told Harry already that I'm not seeing anyone else" Dempsey had turned his head to look at Angela.

"Didn't you?" she asked.

"No!"

"Robert denied it also when Harry had asked him about it"

Dempsey stood up from the sofa and walked over to the window. He looked outside without seeing anything. He thought on what Harry had said earlier today. That she was afraid to lose him. It had never crossed his mind, that this had something to do with Robert.

"So you think that I'm the same as Robert?" he asked her with a small voice avoiding to look at her.

"I would never say that. But I know for sure that if she had been with Robert at this moment, he wouldn't have had any idea how to handle this situation. He would never have been there for her as you are for her now. So I'll ask it one more time and I hope you'll be honest with me: if you have not cheated on Harry, can you please tell me then why you're not able to stay with her as long as you wish and disappear without saying or lying to her where you are going?"

Angela was still looking at Dempsey's back. She could see that it wasn't easy for him. He had hold his hand trough his, still a little wet, hair and she could hear him breath very heavily.

When he turned around, she hoped that his answer would be the answer she so desperately wanted to hear from him. The answer that would clear everything. She felt real disappointment when she heard him saying: "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that"

Amazed and in total disbelief she looked up at him.

"What's the big secret? Hmm Dempsey?" Angela realised that she now did the same as Harry: switching to Dempsey without using his first name.

"It's not a big secret, but something I promised"

"Promised what? To whom?" God, Angela thought, she wanted so desperately to see the two of them being happy together, but with every day that passed, it seemed they had more secrets for each other as the day before! And she feared the day that they had grown so far apart that there wouldn't be a happy ending at all anymore!

"Isn't that what you did to Harry as well? Promising something?" Dempsey had turned around to face Angela, who started to feel real uncomfortable.

"Now you know, how it feels when your own words were thrown back in your face" Dempsey said feeling a little irritated.

Angela had no clue where to look anymore. She felt trapped and accused for something she had nothing to do with.

"That's beneath the belt" She tried to defend herself.

"I don't think so. Listen: I understand that you're trying to help Harry and believe me, I really appreciate that, but this is something between the two of us. We need to solve this out together. I'll keep in mind what you have said about Robert. And if you don't mind now: I need to get dressed now"

Angela stood up from the sofa, emptied her glass and walked to the front door. When she opened it, she saw that Dempsey hadn't followed her so she yelled over her shoulder at him: "May I give you one advise: clean the house before Harry returns. Otherwise you would have an even bigger problem!"

Then she slammed the door behind her. Dempsey saw her driving away. He took the two glasses back to the kitchen and throw some leftovers of the takeaways in the bin. He must admit: in at least one thing Angela had been right: he had to clean up both the kitchen and the living room. But not now. Within 5 minutes he got dressed and picked up his car keys from the table in the hallway. He needed to hurry otherwise he would be late at the office. He had been through enough today already, but it wouldn't be the end. He had to face a lot more and he really didn't look forward to it.

*****

"Spikings wants to see you straight away" Chas told Dempsey when he entered the SI10 office.

Dempsey had hoped that he should have had an opportunity to talk to Chas first before he headed to Spiking's office. He wanted to tell him about the meeting he and Harry had earlier that morning and to ask him some questions, but as soon as Spikings heard that Dempsey, obvious, had showed up, he yelled: "Dempsey!" and there was nothing else he could do then to enter the man's office.

"Close the door behind you, will you"

Chas gave him a look of sympathy when Dempsey did what he was asked.

When Dempsey turned around, he realized that they were not alone in the room. On a seat in the corner was another man sitting.

"Dempsey. This is Dr. Jacobson" Spikings introduced them to each other.

"What's he doing here?" Dempsey asked with a little suspicion in his voice.

"Dr. Jacobson is a expert about cases like you have been involved in"

"What do you mean?"

"It happens more often Lieutenant that cops who shot someone don't be able to deal with it afterwards" Dr. Jacobson said with a little understanding in his voice.

"Oh and why do you think I'm not able to handle it?" Dempsey's hair on the back of his neck started to raise up.

"The way you're reacting on it it's obvious you don't"

"Oh and how do I react in your opinion?" Dempsey didn't only looked at dr. Jacobson but at Spikings as well. He saw the two men share a glance.

"You don't want to talk about it, with nobody"

Dempsey walked over to another seat in the room and set down. Oh yeah, he wished that he would be able to talk about it, but there was only one person which with he could and would share it: Harry, but he even couldn't tell her what had happened!

"I don't need any help"

"Lieutenant!" Spikings warned him, but Dempsey wouldn't listen.

"I don't need a shrink. I'm capable enough to handle my own life"

"It's not that you wouldn't be capable enough Lieutenant, but it will pursued you for the rest of your life if you don't come on terms with it"

"I'll think about it"

"Here's my card, if you change your mind" Dr. Jacobson handed Dempsey a little card with his name and telephone number on it. It was clear to him already that the other man would never use it. Spikings had warned him already that that would happen.

After Dr. Jacobson had left the room, Dempsey turned his attention to Spikings.

"It's standard procedure Dempsey, you know that" Spikings tried to convince him, but it didn't work.

"Oh yeah. You have never offered me one before"

"That's because you had never needed one, but now.....it's a total different story"

"I don't think so" Dempsey answered mad as he was not only on Spikings, but on Dr. Jacobson as well.

"You have enough on your mind right now. You make mistakes and we can't permit that here. You know that"

"I know"

"They are yelling at me up-stairs Dempsey. I needed all my strength to let you stay. If it had been up to them, you had been transported back to the States again already"

Wow, that had been something new to Dempsey. That had never crossed his mind.

"I didn't know" he whispered quietly not knowing exactly what else to say.

"Well, it would be time that you focus yourself on the job Lieutenant. I understand that it would be difficult for you from time to time, but if you can't do that, there will be no place for you anymore at SI10"

In total disbelief Dempsey looked at Spikings.

"You can't be serious. Harry needs me here in London!"

"Yeah, but she needs you in one piece and she doesn't want to go to your funeral in her condition if you dies, only because your mind is more focused on her then on your job. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yeah you did" Dempsey sank down a little deeper in his chair.

"Now that we have cleared this up, can you find me some answers for example about whom these two people are who were present in that room during the shooting? Dave had worked on it already and found some leads. Go out to help him" Spiking waved with his hand to the door making it clear that Dempsey could leave.

"So I'm not suspended?" Dempsey asked surprised because that was what he had expected that would happen today.

"You are lucky. Not at this moment, but that can change if you don't do what I asked you to do"

"Thanks.....I guess"

A little smile crept over Spikings face when he heard Dempsey saying this. He knew that it must have been very hard for his Lieutenant to admit that he was thankful for keeping his job. He had never done that and probably would never do it again so Spikings had to intend this for the rest of his life.


	20. Chapter 20

**2 chapters for today. Read this ch****apter first and then chapter 21**

When Dempsey closed the door of Spiking's office behind him and Chas saw him, he came up to Dempsey putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you suspended?" Chas asked with great concern in his voice.

"No, but I'm getting close" Dempsey said, not wanted to go in on further details.

"Wow, you are lucky"

"Yeah. Eh Chas? May I ask you something?"

"Sure what do you like to know?" The two men crossed the room in the meantime and took a seat at Chas' s desk.

Dempsey picked up a pen that was lying on the desk. Strictly he has no idea how to bring his question up to Chas, but he had to know.

"Did Harry ever talked about her life in the future with you or Alice?" Dempsey asked not looking at Chas and playing with the pen in his hands by clicking it.

"No. Why?"

"I went to that meeting with her earlier today. To meet other patients with a CVA and their partners"

"So?" Chas was wondering what Dempsey wanted to know from him. When Dempsey had been to that meeting with Harry, he was probably more informed than he was about the subject.

"When you had given me the brochures, do you know or Harry had ever read them?"

"She got them in the hospital like I did, so I think so. Why?" Chas asked, started to become a little worried now.

"I got the impression that for today that she didn't realise that her life had been changed forever" Dempsey answered remembering the sometimes astound look on Harry's face from earlier today.

"And that surprised you?" Chas became a little careful now, when Dempsey started to ask more questions, he probably couldn't give an answer anymore too afraid that he would give too much away already from what he knew about Harry's secret.

"A little bit yeah. But it seems to happen more in these cases I heard"

"Well, what's your problem then?"

"I don't know" Dempsey shrugged his shoulders. There was something he didn't understand but he couldn't tell exactly what it was. Just a feeling he had.

"All I know is that I don't have any intention to leave her. Not now, not ever"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Isn't that....." But before Chas could finish, the door of Spikings office opened and the man stood in the doorway looking a little suspicious at the two other men who did obvious everything except working.

"I thought" he barked at Dempsey: "I made myself clear, that I want you to find some answers. You can have a chat in your free time"

Dempsey stood up from the chair and mumbled: "That's what I just did, trying to get answers"

"What did you say Lieutenant?"

"Nothing" Dempsey knew when he had to slow down. At least, sometimes.

Spikings groaned and smashed the door behind him.

"Sometimes, I think I'm a little too hard for the boss" Dempsey added against the closed door now which only produced a shaking head of Chas as a silent response.

Dave, who sat at one of the other desks in the room and had tried not to listen to the conversation of the other two men, felt a little uncomfortable when Dempsey rolled his chair over to Dave's desk and set down putting his elbows on top of it.

"Spikings told me you have found some leads in our case"

"I did" Dave tried to avoid to look at Dempsey's face when he past a file to him: "That man and woman in the second house were, probably, involved with the drug dealers. I found some names of these dealers"

"Wow" Dempsey said opening the file in the meantime: "And you all figured that out by yourself?"

Dave at the other side of the desk, buried his face into another file. Working with Dempsey had been hard enough that night, but now they had to solve the whole case together! For Dave it was if a nightmare had become reality.

"Who are they? Are they connected with other cases?"

"That's where I'm working on at the moment" Dave said with a small voice.

"With other words, you have no idea"

"I'm not so good with computers. It has always been Harry....." Dave started to defend himself, but bringing up Harry's name up to Dempsey now was not a wise idea.

"Don't remember me at the fact that Harry isn't here right now!" Dempsey exasperated trying not to get angry or to say something he would regret later.

"So?"

"So what?"

"How do we solve that problem?"

"Is that how you call Harry? A problem?"

"No of course not, I mean...."

"I know exactly what you mean. You have done nothing so far!"

"That's not true"

Chas who had heard Dave's and Dempsey's argument, walked over to Dave's desk. He had to do something before the two men got to each others throat.

"Dempsey!" he warned him: "Let's do Dave his part of the case and you do your part"

"And catch up somewhere in the middle?" Dempsey answered with sarcasms in his voice.

"It always worked for Harry and you. And no.." Chas added because he saw that Dempsey wanted to interrupt him: "I suggest that you go to the archive to see or you'll be able to find cases of which they are, hopefully, connected with, and you....."Chas pointed at Dave now: "You stay here and see or you can find some faces of these people so at least we know how they look like"

Dempsey stood up from his chair and walked away with a list of names in his hands.

When Dempsey was out of hearing distance, Chas turned over to Dave: "And don't let me ever hear you mentioning Harry's name in that context again!"

It was not before Dempsey had reached the archive that he started to breath in a more natural way. Before, he had tried very hard not to explode in front of Dave. He knew that he had almost blown it if Chas hadn't stepped in between them. Emotions had got the overhand again. Looking down, he saw that in his anger he had crumpled the list in his hand to a ball of paper. It became very hard to read the names on the list now, but he had no intention to go back to the office to ask for a new one. No way.

Opening the drawer of the first name on the list, he had no luck, also the second name on the list didn't match, but finally with number 3 he found where he had been looking for. He already wanted to close the drawer when his eyes came across another file with a real familiar name on it: 'Harriet Makepeace'.

Forgotten was the list with names in his hand and the other file. He even didn't realise that he had dropped them to the floor. All his attention was now focused on that special file from which he had had no idea that it existed. What was Harry's name doing on a file in the archive of SI10?

Dempsey took the file with him to one of the tables in the archive. For a short moment of time he was just staring at it if he wasn't sure he wanted to know what stood inside, but then his curiosity won. Slowly he opened the file. After reading only two pages he realised that Harry had been involved in a shootout. That she had been hurt, but that they had never been able to catch the two people who had been responsible for it. They had interviewed many people, but nobody couldn't or wanted to tell something so the case had been closed after 6 months. Dempsey knew how frustrated this must have been for Harry. And slowly quilt started to grow deep inside him. Knowing now that Harry had been shot and he hadn't been there to provide it. In the whole file, there was no description about back-up. Had Harry refused to ask for them? Had she been alone there when it happened or what? Was this perhaps what their family and all their friends had been hidden for him? If this was the case, he would never been able to talk to someone about it! It would be very hard for him to pretend that he didn't knew anything, but he had to wait till Harry would tell him by herself. Whenever that would be.

10 minutes later Dempsey walked back into the office. He hoped that no one in the room noticed how terrible he felt deep down inside. But he wouldn't have to be worried about it. Chas wasn't there and all the others were to occupied with their own work to take any notice of him. Dave still sat behind his desk digging into some boxes with photos trying to find at least one photo with a face he recognised.

Dempsey dropped the file on Dave's desk with the words: "This is the only related case I could find. You got any luck?"

"I found two photos, but they are from the man and the woman in the room. Not from any drug dealers" Dave said, biting his lip.

"Hmm. So these two...." Suddenly Dempsey stopped, which made Dave looking up at him with a wondered look on his face: "These names. I have read them before" He slipped the file open and searched through it.

"I knew it. Here.....the connection" He slapped with his fist on a page of the file: "It wasn't just an ordinary family dispute. They had done it on purpose, to distract us. That man is the head of the gang and that woman probably just an ordinary hooker. But that kid I shot? That kid doesn't fill in. What has he to do with it?"

"Maybe just an innocent bystander?" Dave suggested.

"No, I don't think so. Where's Chas?"

"By Spikings"

"Hmmm" To be honest, Dempsey preferred not to come across Spikings before he and Dave had solve the case so he had to do it himself.

When Dave saw Dempsey slipping behind Chas computer, he frowned his eyebrows.

"How did you put this thing on?" He asked Dave searching for a button to switch it on.

"Wouldn't be a better idea to wait till Chas comes back?" Dave suggested turning his head to the door of Spikings office hoping that Chas showed up before he got the blame for Dempsey's action.

"It couldn't be that difficult. Ah, here it is"

With a loud bang the computer sprang into action, but not for long.

Dempsey looked up with a sheepish look on his face when he heard a voice saying behind him: "What the hell do you think you are doing?"


	21. Chapter 21

Getting up, Dempsey shoved his chair back so violently, it fell over with a crash.

"The computer is all yours" he said to Chas who looked at him if he had lost his mind. Then noticing that Spikings was standing in the doorway of his office and had followed everything.

"Where are you looking for?" Chas put the chair up again and sat down behind the computer, ignoring Dave's comment that he had told Dempsey not to use the computer.

"Facts" Dempsey answered as innocent as possible.

"About what?"

"That kid. What's his name, what was he doing there?"

"If you would like to have an answer on that, why don't you ask, come what are their names, yourself?" Chas suggested.

With a puzzled look on his face, Dempsey glanced back at him.

"Because we booked them Dempsey" Spikings answered before Chas was able to say something: "They are downstairs"

"Can you arrange that I'm able to speak to them? The man first?" Dempsey begged turning around at Spikings and picking up the file about the case from his own desk.

Spikings shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his own office to make a phone call. Thinking in the meantime it probably wouldn't be a wise idea to let Dempsey talk alone to the man and the woman.

"They will bring him to interview room 2" Spikings announced minutes later, seeing Dempsey immediately leaving the office, slamming the door behind him.

"Me?" Dave panicked when Spikings ordered him to follow Dempsey: "You want me to go with him?"

"Yeah, now that Harry isn't around there must be someone who will cool him down when he goes too far"

"But why me?"

"Because you two are both involved in this case. That's why!"

Dave knew that protesting wouldn't make any difference, he opened the door and stepped outside.

When Dempsey entered interview room 2, he saw the other man sitting with his feet resting on a table. He didn't put them down when Dempsey walked up to him.

"Sitting comfortably?' Dempsey asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, I have nothing to complain"

"But I have" Dempsey answered, kicking the man's feet of the table almost knocking the man himself down from his chair.

Just on that moment, Dave also entered the room closing the door silently behind him hoping that Dempsey hadn't heard him.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Dempsey's said not hiding that he was irritated.

"I got orders to fol..." Dave started to defend himself being interrupted by Dempsey almost immediately.

"Out" he shouted at Dave who didn't know where to look but didn't move.

"I said out" Dempsey repeated walking up to Dave.

But it wasn't before Dempsey stood in front of him and he saw the angry look in the other man's eyes that Dave turned around and left the room as quickly as possible.

"I've found your name in an older file wise guy. Mc. Allister am I right?" Dempsey started opening the file and flipping through some pages.

"So what?"

"You have been involved in some drug deals before"

"There's nothing you can make me say now" The other man, Mc. Allister leaned backwards with his chair against the wall. He had been through such an interrogation so many times that he knew exactly what he could say and what better left out. But he had never been crossed by Dempsey before.

"I know you. You shot my son! I can accuse you for that"

"Go ahead"

"You can't get away with it"

"Strange you are so concerned about your son, because in this file they don't mention that you have a son!"

Dempsey saw the face of the man in front of him turning from satisfaction in suspicion.

"That you distracted our operation is one thing, but that you let an innocent kid running around with a gun.....what was he doing there and who is he?"

"None of your business" Mc. Allister leant backwards in his chair again. He had no intention to answer that question.

"Wrong answer. I ask you again: why was that boy present in your home? Did you hire him?"

"To do what?"

"I don't know. You tell me"

"I have nothing to say to you"

"Oh yes you have" Dempsey put the file on the table and leant forwards to look Mc. Allister straight in the eyes.

"A six year old child would never carry a gun, you must have given it to him"

"I have no idea where you are talking about"

Mc. Allister wobbled uncomfortable on his chair. He had never met such a cop as Dempsey in his entire life.

"Who is he?" Dempsey repeated: "Tell me!" and before Mc. Allister realised what happened, Dempsey had lifted him up from his chair by taken his shirt between his fists and pushed him against the wall.

Mc. Allister stared at him, but didn't flinch till Dempsey put his arm against the man's throat.

"I want to know who that kid is, what he was doing there and what you have to do with these drug dealers and you gonna tell me now!"

Breathing heavily now, Mc. Allister started to mumble something.

"What did you say, I can't hear you"

"I guess he had found the gun in my drawer in the bedroom. I think he must have seen that I hid it there for protection" Mc. Allister gasping to get some air.

"So you admit you are involved with these drug dealers?"

"I don't say anything anymore without a lawyer"

"No wise guy. I need answers, and I want them now! I have been through enough for today already so if you don't want that I lose my temper completely, I advise you to cooperate" Dempsey's arm pushed a little harder.

But Mc. Allister didn't say a word anymore.

Frustrated Dempsey loosed his grip. This was going nowhere he realised. This man would never crack. Maybe he would have more luck with questioning the woman. Picking up the file from the table he walked over to the door, but before he could open it, the door flew open already.

It was Spikings who switched his look between Dempsey and Mc. Allister. The last one was touching his throat. And by doing that, Spikings immediately knew what Dempsey had done to the man.

"Dempsey!" Spikings switched back to Dempsey and there was a warned tone in this voice, when he meanwhile rubbed his head for possibly the thousandth time since Dempsey had returned to London.

Then suddenly Spikings obvious realised something. He looked around in the interview room but couldn't find whom he was searching for.

"Where's Dave?" Spikings asked not knowing if he would like to hear the answer on his question.

"Oh....I've send him away"

"You did what?" Spikings exasperated.

"Yeah, something wrong with that?" Dempsey asked innocently, knowing very well that what he had done hadn't been the right thing to do, but he couldn't work with Dave anymore and he assumed that it wasn't one sided.

Slowly turning red, Spikings walked away to search for Dave to give him a lecture about not following orders in the first place.

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders and went outside. Dave wasn't his problem now. He said something to the policeman in the hallway and followed his way to interview room 3.

When he had entered the room, he saw the woman, that had been threaten by Mc. Allister with the knife, sitting on a chair leaning with her arms on the table. She had clinched her hands together and Dempsey saw that she had a handkerchief in one hand. When she looked up to Dempsey, he saw that she had been crying. Dempsey tried to ignore the big blue eyes who were following him when he took a chair to sit across the woman. The colour of these eyes remembered him so much on Harry's eyes whose also seemed to brim more and more with tears these days.

"What had you done, Lucia, that Mc. Allister had threatened you with a knife?" Dempsey started the interrogation knowing that an attack sometimes would be the best defence.

"Nothing" Lucia said quickly fumbling with the handkerchief in her hand.

"Oh come on, you don't expect me to believe that"

"No really"

"So all of a sudden he took a knife, put it on your throat and you started to scream?"

"Yeah exactly"

Dempsey leant backwards in his chair, realising that his earlier hope to get more information from the woman as quickly as possible would have been a false one. And he desperately wanted to solve the case tonight. So he could at least get some sleep before Harry started to accuse him tomorrow again of looking awful and having been out to party.

"So, you were just there and nothing happened?" Dempsey tried again, this time using another tactic.

"Mc. Allister asked me to come with him to look at a new house"

"A new house?" Dempsey asked surprised. Well then surely she had got the surprise of her life.

"Yeah, he wanted to buy it for the two of us"

"Two of you?"

"Yeah. Mc. Allister is married you know and his wife, well she didn't know about us"

"I see" So this wasn't Mc. Allister's wife, but his mistress or was this another trick and had Mc. Allister instructed her to say this in case they got busted?

"And how did you get involved with him?" Dempsey asked friendly, being glad that Harry wasn't around now, because she had immediately seen through him. That this was just another trick of his.

"Involved?"

"Yeah, how did you meet?"

"Eh....We eh..." Lucia started to stumble now. Bloody hell how does she have to answer that question?

"In a restaurant. I was a waitress there"

"A restaurant he? Funny, your boyfriend, or how do you call him, told me something else" Luckily Lucia had no idea he was bluffing. Dempsey was real curious to know how she should react now.

"He did?" Lucia wondered, pondering Dempsey's words and considering in the meantime what Mc. Allister could have say about it.

"Yeah, so who's right?"

"I don't know. Maybe we meet somewhere else" Lucia tried carefully.

Dempsey flipped over another page of the file if he searched for something. Then he looked up and his eyes met Lucia's who was biting her lip trying to held her composure and not to burst into tears again.

And just before Dempsey wanted to ask his next question, the door opened and the head of Dave peeked around.

"Bloody hell! I've told you that I can handle this on my own!" Dempsey barked at him. But Dave had no intention to leave again. The lecture he had had from Spikings had been impressive enough. To go through it once had been bad enough, but he didn't look forward to another one.

"Spikings ordered me to stay with you this time" Dave said firmly ignoring Dempsey's reaction.

Dempsey could only groan, which didn't keep unnoticed by Lucia. She switched her looks between Dempsey and Dave. She could feel the intense heat that bubbled up between men and to her it was obvious that these two didn't get along very much with each other. She had noticed that already during the night of the shooting.

"Well, why don't you just tell me the truth this time Lucia?" Dempsey continued as if the interruption of Dave hadn't taken place. If Dave had orders to stay, they both had to make the best of it.

"I can't" Lucia turned her head away from Dempsey and looked down at her hands: "It's too embarrassing"

"If you don't tell me what really happened I can assure you that it would be even more embarrassing. You have to tell me everything what happened that night. Can you do that?"

"If I do that, I don't have to go to jail?" Lucia flustered halfway now to giving in.

Dempsey hesitated for a short moment of time.

"I can't guarantee you that, but I'll do everything I can to help you" That was the best he could offer her.

"Okay, I'll tell you everything. What do you want to know?" she finally gave in. But what Dempsey didn't know was that Lucia had lost her real trust in men already many years ago. And that the promising word he had given, didn't mean anything at all to her.


	22. Chapter 22

Dave had been impressed when he heard Lucia saying that she was willing to tell them the truth. He would have never expected that. He had listen to the tape that morning he had made during the night of the shooting and from what he had heard, the woman seemed hard to crack.

"That night Mc. Allister picked me up around 6"

"Picked you up where?"

"Home"

"So you were home and then?"

"He made a phone call"

"To whom?"

"I don't know. Someone"

"Someone? Did he say a name?" Dempsey asked, hoping that at least she had heard something.

"Let me think, I guess it was something of Blacker or Baker, he said it was urgent"

Dempsey picked the file up that was still lying in front of him. There was no one with these names mentioned in it.

"Was it one of the drugs dealers?"

"Maybe" Lucia pretended if she was thinking very hard.

"Probably he was, because later we drove to that house and Mc. Allister said that I had to wait because he had some business to take care of" Lucia continued.

"And that kid? Was it there already when you arrived?"

"I don't know. I guess so"

When she had said that, Dave had furrowed his eyebrows. Till then everything Lucia had told them seemed logical. But now Dave started to get his doubts.

"Dempsey.." Dave tried, standing up from his chair he had been sitting on since his arrival and walked up to Dempsey.

"What?" Dempsey just stared at him when Dave bent his head and flustered:" Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Not now. Can it wait?"

"If you think so" Dave returned to his chair. Knowing how it would look like if the two of them would have a disagreement in front of the woman.

"So the kid was there when you arrived, but you haven't seen him?"

"No. At least not till you stormed in" Lucia glanced at Dempsey and she couldn't hide it from him that she would crucify him for that.

Dempsey knew exactly what she was trying to do. To let him feel even more guilty than that he felt already about shooting that little boy down.

Looking down at the file he missed the little smile that crept over Lucia's face, but for Dave it didn't go unnoticed. And the more Lucia was telling, the more Dave got worried. He tried to interrupt Dempsey twice more but with even less luck as before. Dave was wondering: had Dempsey perhaps never listen to that tape? Because if he had, he must have known by now that Lucia was lying about most everything. Or was it just a tactic of Dempsey? Dave thought. To be honest, he had no idea anymore what to think about this all.

Half an hour passed by. One question followed by another till Dempsey closed the file and bend over to Lucia.

"Well, I guess you told us everything. It wasn't that hard wasn't it?"

Lucia nodded her head.

"You kept you on your part of our agreement, I'll keep mine. I'll try to get you released later tonight"

Lucia smiled, the most dazzling smile Dempsey had seen in years. She was flirting with him and he knew it. Feeling a little uncomfortable with that, Dempsey turned around and stormed out of the interview room with the file in his hand.

"Bye" she yelled after him. She gave Dave a big smile as well who was so amazed about it that he didn't move. It seemed if he was glued to the ground and it took him several minutes to come to his sense again, before he also left, red headed, the interview room. He could still hear Lucia's laugh which seemed to follow him when he reached the corridor and leaned against the wall taking in a few deep breath to control himself.

"Are you alright?" Fry showed up in front of him with a look of great concern on his face.

"Yeah" Dave answered, pushing Fry aside and running away.

"He!" Fry yelled after him, but Dave didn't hear him anymore. He had only one thing in mind: he had to find Dempsey before it was too late and Lucia had been released already!

*****

"I told you boss. Lucia had nothing to do with these drug dealers!"

Dempsey stood in Spiking's office waving at him with the file in his hand.

"And that kid? What's his name?"

"Lucia had never seen that kid, she doesn't know his name"

"Well, if that's the case, I'll make a phone call that she can be released"

Spikings picked up the receiver and dialled a number.

"Yeah" he said to someone at the other side: "You can let her go"

Putting the receiver down, he looked around if he was searching for someone.

"Where's Dave? I gave him strictly orders not to let you out of his sight" If he had just realised that Dempsey had come in alone, but that there was no sign of the other man.

"I think he's still downstairs" Dempsey answered indeed wondering now why Dave hadn't followed him out of the interview room. Probably he had been so impressed by Lucia that he wanted to stay a little longer on his own with her in the room.

When the door to Spiking's office flew open with a loud bang, both Dempsey and Spikings turned around. The last one wanted to say something about the incoming man's behaviour, but before he could do that, the man whispered something to the other two in the office.

"She was lying Sir" Dave spitted out with great difficulties still breathing heavily after the long run.

"Lying? Who was lying?" Spikings asked.

"That girl, Lucia" From the corner of his eyes, he saw Dempsey's face turning white.

"Lying?" Dempsey mumbled more to himself than to the others in the room.

"Yeah, I've listen to the tape I made that night again this morning. On that I heard something totally different!"

Damned Dempsey thought, because he had been so occupied with everything that had happened to Harry, he had totally forgotten that Dave had taped everything during that night!

"I tried to tell him" Dave pointed with his finger in Dempsey's direction: "I interrupted him three times during the interrogation with Lucia, but he wouldn't listen. I'm afraid he had never listened to that tape, otherwise he should have known she had been lying all the time!"

"Is that true, Lieutenant?" Spikings asked.

Dempsey walked over to the window. He knew he had made a mistake. Again. He stared out of it, feeling miserable, till something downstairs got his attention. Down on the parking was a figure walking: Lucia. By her whole attitude he could see that she was very proud of herself. Seeing that, Dempsey turned around and without saying everything he stormed out of Spikings office, almost knocking Fry down who wanted to enter and ran down the corridor. With taking two steps at the time, he ran down the stair and pushed the door downstairs open. Bewildered he looked around till he saw a big, black open car waiting at the other side of the parking till the woman got inside. Before she stepped in, she turned to look at Dempsey. He could see her waving at him.

"Thanks" he heard her yelling. Dempsey knew that running up to her was hopeless. The car had been too far away already to reach it on time. So there was only one option left: he took his gun out of his holster and fired. He aimed at the tyres, but the bullet glanced of. Frustrated Dempsey had to stand by helplessly how the car drove way. The last thing he heard from Lucia was her loud and obvious, satisfied, laugh.


	23. Chapter 23

Bewildered and not exactly knowing what to do next, Dempsey leaned with his back against the wall. The parking was empty now, but he could still hear Lucia's satisfied laughing in his ears. To be honest he had no idea how much time had passed when he finally returned to the office. Silently he slipped inside. There was no sign of Dave or of some of the others. The office was totally empty. He heard some voices coming out of Spikings office and he went over to the coffee machine. Before he could take a cup the door of the office flew open and the man himself appeared in the doorway.

"There is our Prodigal Son" Spikings said with a little sarcasm in his voice before he gave Dempsey a wink to follow him.

"I messed up boss. I'm sorry" Dempsey started to say. Then he realised that there was someone else also in the room. Great. Just what he needed now. A lecture from the boss in front of Dave! But Spikings didn't react. At least not now.

"Sit down Dempsey. I want you to listen to the tape Dave had made of which you obviously had forgotten that it had been made"

Without saying a word, Dempsey sat down. He could feel Dave looking at him, but he didn't look back. When Spikings had closed the door and sat down behind his desk he pushed the play button of the tape recorder down. Yelling voices started to fill the room in which Dempsey recognised as being from Mc. Allister and Lucia's. They were talking about the drugs deal first, then he heard some yelling. Followed by some noises he couldn't interpret and the tape ended with a shot. The moment he had shot that little kid. Then there was silence. Spikings switched the tape off and looked at Dempsey.

"If you had listen to this tape Lieutenant then you should have know that Lucia had been lying to you"

"I know" Dempsey couldn't say anything else then to admit it.

"I want you and Dave write your report about the interrogation and then you can go home"

"But...." Dempsey tried without any luck.

"I don't want to see you till tomorrow morning. Then you can do some desk work. I know how you like to do that these days. I'm taking you off this case, before you will make even more mistakes"

"But...." Dempsey tried for a second time.

"No but's" Spikings interrupted him again: "I have to Dempsey, you know that. You are too emotional involved"

In what way, Dempsey thought. With the case or with Harry?

Dave had slipped out of the office before Spikings started his lecture after all. Both men hadn't even noticed it. When Dempsey stepped outside, Spikings added something to his speech: "Oh and Dempsey" making him turning around in the doorway: "If there will be a next time like this, you can be sure you'll be suspended and that there won't be anything I can do about it anymore. Have I made myself clear? Hmm?"

"Yes boss"

Spikings waved with his hand as sign that Dempsey could go. When he walked over to his desk and took a paper to type up his report, Dempsey saw Dave looking at him from the other side of the room. And all of a sudden an idea crossed his mind.

"Dave...you got to help me" Dempsey said rolling his chair over next to Dave's desk.

"About what?" Dave asked a little suspicious.

"I got to find that girl Dave. I can't do it myself, Spikings took me off the case"

"I don't think I'm able to do that then Dempsey. I'm sorry"

Frustrated Dempsey groaned. Why did everybody here always work by the book? Nobody seemed to break a rule from time to time. Well maybe he broke just one rule too many today, he considered.

People ran in and out the office with files, but nobody paid attention to Dempsey. When he wanted to ask someone something they came up with one lousy excuse after another to disappear as soon as possible. It seemed like a complete conspiracy against him. Where they all so mad at him about what he had done or what? As even Chas obviously refused to talk to him, Dempsey took him by the arm so he had at least the other man's attention.

"Did Spikings give you all orders to ignore me or what?" he asked.

Chas felt real uncomfortable and first didn't know what to say.

"Come on Chas. I made a mistake. Okay?" Hoping that when he admitted it, things would go better.

"That's not the main issue here Dempsey"

"Then what is it?"

Chas turned so he could Dempsey straight in the eyes. He could see that the other man had not the finest idea why they all reacted this way.

"Did it never cross your mind that you got whole SI10 involved after what you have done?" Chas answered, wondering why, even at this point, he tried to bring the news up to Dempsey as careful as possible: "If they decide upstairs to suspend you, probably we all got suspended! That there will be a possibility we all lost our jobs because of you? I warned you that first day that you came back, why do you never listen?"

Totally confused and bewildered Dempsey saw Chas walk away. He sank down in his chair and put his head in his hands. It took him a couple of minutes to get his composure back. Then he started to type his report as accurately as possible. Not leaving even the smallest thing out of it. When he finished it he went over to Spikings office.

"Here it is Chief" Smashing the report on the man's desk.

"Oh and Dempsey?" Spikings avoid looking at the other man standing in the meantime halfway the doorway.

"Yes boss"

"Get some sleep"

With a weak smile on his face Dempsey turned around. Sleep? He couldn't remember the last time he had slept. It seemed ages ago. So much happened today. When he thought back on the meeting earlier that day he and Harry had had with the other patients recovering from a CVA a shiver ran down across his back. He looked forward to the time that Harry would finally get the green light for a weekend to go home for the first time. But before he still had to solve some little problems he had been working on lately.

When he parked his car before 187 Camberwell Grove he ran a hand through his hair before he jumped out of the car and ran up the stairs, unlocked the front door and quickly slipped inside. After a quick dinner, he went upstairs to take a shower. With only wearing a towel around his waist he walked over to the room on the other side of the corridor. A little hope raised inside him that maybe, just maybe this time he would find the locked door of the room unlocked, Every time as Angela had been here, like this afternoon to pick up some clothes for Harry, he had that same hope, but as so many times before his hope turned out to be a false one. Had she no idea where the key of that door could be either? Or was there indeed something very special hidden inside? If so, what could it be he wondered? Dempsey only prayed that Harry had the courage to tell him when they finally would be able to spend those two days together to begin with.

When Dempsey laid down on the sofa, he almost slept immediately even before his head hit the pillow. But as so many nights before, it was neither a healthy nor a peaceful sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

_2 days later_

Dempsey arrived earlier at work that day. Hoping that he would be able to have a little chat with Dave before the others arrived. But to his unpleasant surprise he found the office empty. The last 2 days he had tried to persuade Dave over and over again to tell him if he had been able to find Lucia, but every time he had done that, Dave had refused to say something. He had disappeared from time to time in Spikings office and Dempsey knew exactly where they were talking about inside, but he had been kept in the dark. Every time as Dave came back and closed the door behind him, he glanced for a second or two at him before he sat down again at his own desk. Dempsey wanted to scream, to hit something in pure frustration. He wanted to be there, to be a part of this whole operation! Damn.

Visiting Harry in the rehabilitation centre hadn't been a real pleasure either. Because of his frustration about the case, they had had one argument after another. Mostly about very small things that, at the bottom, really didn't mean anything at all. Of course, Harry had no clue what was bothering him, but she knew that there must be something. His behaviour had been unbearable and because of that she had practically thrown him out of her room yesterday saying that she didn't need him around if he was in such a mood. He couldn't blame her. He even didn't want to be around himself from time to time. And on top of this all, Spikings had buried him with so much deskwork that he would be occupied with it for at least another 3 days or even more. Picking up a file from the pile of his desk, he lifted his feet up to make himself more comfortable. It was then that he heard Spikings telephoning with someone else in his own office. It was obvious a very heavy discussion and Dempsey wondered where this was all about. But he soon found out when Spikings opened the door of his own office.

"We need to talk" the man said ordering Dempsey inside.

"What's the matter Chief?" Dempsey asked, seeing the other man's face being red from agitation.

"I got orders from above" Spikings looked up to the ceiling.

"Orders about what?"

"Dempsey. I've told you to stay away from the case. I thought I made myself clear"

"Sure boss"

"Why do I have to hear then today that you don't?" Spikings glanced at him if he knew already what the answer would be.

"I stayed away. I only..." Dempsey tried to say before Spikings interrupted him.

"No you don't"

"You talked with Dave? Oh great" Dempsey turned around and sat down on the couch.

"No Dempsey. Dave didn't say a word, but it didn't keep unnoticed that every time Dave had been here, you asked him how it went and if we made any progress. Dave is capable enough to solve this case on his own Dempsey"

Dempsey smirked and whispered "I don't think so"

"What did you say Lieutenant?"

"Nothing" Dempsey answered as innocent as possible. It was better not to start another argument. At least not in here.

"But I order you and this is for the very last time: let do Dave his own job. Stay out of it. This is my last warning!"

"Sure boss"

"Okay. Now go further with your work"

Dempsey slammed the door behind him. He heard Spikings inside screaming 'Dempsey!' as another warning. It was so easy to wind up the boss, he thought, while a little smile crept over his face.

3 hours and 20 files later, Dempsey yawned and stretched his arms out. His neck was stiff from all the hours sitting in the same position. He wasn't used to this anymore lately. There was still no sign of the others and he had no idea where they were, but it felt even more as if he was punished for what he had done. He walked over to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup when all of a sudden the door flew open and with making a lot of noise, Chas and Fry entered. Seeing Dempsey standing at the other side of the room they immediately went silent.

"Don't stop because of me" Dempsey said sarcastically, walking back to his own desk: "Just pretend I'm not here"

Dempsey missed the glances both men shared with each other, but deep down inside he felt really hurt, if he had some kind of disease or something. The words Chas had said to him came back in his mind. That they were all afraid they could lose their jobs because of him. Was that the reason they all acted so strange these last days or was there perhaps more?

Another 2 hours went by. 2 hours in which the atmosphere didn't improve. It started to get on Dempsey's nerves. He could feel the two men looking at him from time to time but they didn't say a word until Dempsey had enough of it. He turned his chair around. Both Chas and Fry stared at him with a panicked expression on their faces.

"I'm sorry what I have done. Okay? It won't happen again"

"It's not only that Dempsey" Chas said softly: "You can't expect from all of us that when you make your apology we can immediately forget what you have done"

"What do you want me to do? Go back to New York? Is that what you all want?" Dempsey switched his head between Fry and Chas, starting to get the feeling if there was a big stone lying in his stomach.

"No of course not"

"Then tell me"

"Harry needs you here" Fry whispered softly if only these words would say anything.

"With other words: all of you don't need me. If it wasn't for Harry you all wished I never came back. Is that it?"

"No" Chas took a deep breath: "Listen" he rolled his chair over next to Dempsey.

"We all know where you are going through at the moment. We all read the brochures about Harry's condition. For us it's hard, but for you it must be even harder. We know that and we accept that you're not functioning at the moment as it used to be. But what we won't accept is that you bring all of us, whole SI10, down when you are not concentrated enough doing your job. Spikings sticks his neck out for you over and over again. I don't think you realise that. I'm not judging you, believe me, but if you think you won't be able to focus yourself completely on your work here, it would be better to take some time of till Harry is out of the rehabilitation centre. And see what happens then"

Chas laid a hand on Dempsey's shoulder before he continued: "Maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all when Spikings and I suggested you not to mention Harry that you're working here again after your return. It made it probably even harder for you. We should have realised that. So all I can say here is: I'm sorry too" Chas added.

"I'll try to concentrate myself more"

"We all know, you'll do that. Let's forget it. Okay?"

The total silence in the next office to his also didn't keep unnoticed to Spikings who peeked his head around the door. Just in time to see Chas rolling his chair back to his own desk. A little suspicious Spikings looked from one to another, but all he saw was three, so far as he could see, very hard working people. Satisfied he went inside his own office again.

But Dempsey wasn't working at all anymore. He had picked up another file to study. It took him more than 5 minutes before he realised that he had no idea what in fact he was reading. The lines danced before his eyes. He was constantly pondering the words Chas had said to him as a never ending story. After half an hour he gave up and he put the file aside pushing his chair backwards.

"I'm going to see Harry" he announced to no one in particular but he wanted that they at least they knew where he was and not slipped out again unnoticed.

"Send her my love" was all Chas said.

"Me too" Fry added.

Dempsey only nodded his head, picked up his jacket from the chair and left.

"I think he was quite impressed about what you said to him" Fry said.

"I hope it came through" was all Chas answered.

When Dempsey slipped inside his car he clenched his fists around the steering wheel. He felt as if he had been sitting inside a pinball ball machine for the last couple of hours. His head was burning like hell and he was so damned tired that he could sleep for hours. But he couldn't. There was something else that needed to be done first. Even before visiting Harry. Something nobody knew about so far and he really wanted it to keep it that way for the time being. When he drove away from the parking he realised that again he had forgotten to take his RT with him. Well he could live with that. He only hoped the others could live with it too.


	25. Chapter 25

Visiting hours were almost over when Dempsey entered the parking of the rehabilitation centre. His other activities had taken much more time than he had planned. With squall tyres he parked his car in the only free spot that was available. Obvious there were more visitors in the building today than he had ever seen before. With two steps at the time he ran upstairs. Two nurses were sitting behind their desks. When he greeted them, one of them, Felicia, stood up and held him back.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure" he was late already then this few more minutes wouldn't make any difference anymore.

Stepping inside he took a chair to sit down while Felicia set in front of him. He saw her opening a file. It was if today these things were following him everywhere.

"Did Mrs. Makepeace tell you already Mr. Dempsey that it would be possible for her to spend a weekend here together with you in the special model dwelling that belongs to the centre?"

Dempsey nodded his head. He could still remember the reaction of Harry when he had mentioned that to her and how she didn't like the idea of using it. She didn't like it at all.

"Well, we thought that that can happen next weekend if that's alright with you"

"Eh" Dempsey stuttered: "Is she ready for that then?"

"More than that. But why do I get the impression you are not? Am I right or wrong?"

"I'm not so sure about it. I guess that Harry, sorry Mrs. Makepeace, would prefer either a stay at her own place for a weekend rather more than staying in the model dwelling" Dempsey admitted. Seeing the stream of arguments already coming out of Harry's mouth if he should only suggested the model dwelling to her again.

"That's out of the question" Felicia said closing the file.

Dempsey took a deep breath and then slowly started to inform Felicia where he had been working on for the last couple of days. Amazed, but on the other hand very touched, she could only look at the man sitting in front of her. Deep down inside she hoped that one day she should have a husband or at least a boyfriend who had been so fond of her that he would do the same for her as this man was doing for his girlfriend, Mrs. Makepeace.

"If you can guarantee me this can be arranged on time, I'm willing to give Mrs. Makepeace permission to spend one night, which will mean two days, together with you next weekend" Felicia stood up to shake Dempsey's hand.

"But can you please do me a favour?" Dempsey asked with a little smile on his face.

"Whatever you want"

"That none of you tell Harry what I'm up to. It must be a surprise for her"

"Of course, I will inform the other nurses" Felicia agreed, seeing Dempsey leaving she thought if Mrs. Makepeace realised how lucky she must be with such a great, sensitive and loveable man having around.

*****

With his mind on the exciting news he had to tell Harry, Dempsey rushed through the corridor on his way to Harry's room. When he almost was there he bumped into another man who left the room in a big hurry. He had never seen the man before. Well, it must have been a visitor for one of Harry's roommates Dempsey assumed. He started immediately to make excuses knowing that it was his fault, because he had been so distracted that he wasn't looking, but the other man didn't say a word back. In spite of that he even rushed faster through the corridor obviously on his way to the elevators.

"Hey I was talking to you! Dempsey yelled after him, but still no reaction. Astound Dempsey saw him disappear around the corner.

"Idiot"

Shrugging his shoulders, Dempsey entered Harry's room. Surprised he looked around. Besides Harry nobody else was present in the room. Who the hell was that guy and what had he done in the room? Dempsey's cop instincts immediately started to take over and his first impulse was to run after the man. 'This is ridiculous' he said to himself. This is a closed community, what can happen here?

Still not totally convinced if he had done the right thing in this, he walked up to Harry's bed. She was lying on her left side and hadn't heard him coming in.

"I have such exiting news to tell you"

"Go away" he heard her saying not looking at him.

"Go away? I said I have some news for you" Dempsey repeated.

"I don't want to hear it"

"Harry? What's wrong?"

"Go to hell!"

"Wow, that's a long way going. What have I done this time?" he joked, taking a seat at Harry's side on the bed.

"Will you please go?"

"Hey, I admit I haven't been in the best mood the last 2 days, but I thought we have gone through this already the first day after my returning. So just for the record: _I'm not going anywhere!"_

"I have nothing to say to you"

"But I have something to say to you sister" Harry heard in Dempsey's voice that it wouldn't take long anymore or a real outburst would follow. But before he could say anything else he heard her say something he didn't understand.

"What about the truth this time?" Harry suggested still not looking at him.

"The truth? Which truth?"

"What you're really thinking of me" It became more weird by the minute, Dempsey thought.

"Thinking of you?"

"Yeah. You have put a good act up all these weeks Dempsey. But underneath...."

"Will you stop this! What kind of act? I didn't put an act up. What the hell are you talking about?" he interrupted her immediately.

"You don't even have the courage to admit it"

"Admit what?"

"That you think that I'm faking everything?" Harry whispered softly.

"Faking?" Dempsey asked totally astound: "Who suggested that you're faking everything?"

"Robert"

"Robert? Who is...." The words Angela had said to him a couple of days ago about Harry's ex crossed Dempsey's mind.

"Was your ex husband here?" Was that perhaps the man he had seen running out of the room earlier?

"Yeah, he thinks I'm faking everything"

"Why?" When Harry didn't answer immediately, Dempsey bend over by putting his right hand over Harry's leg on the mattress. It was then that he saw some papers lying next to Harry.

"What's this?" And before Harry knew what he was doing, he had the papers in his hand.

"Give them back to me. That's none of your business" Harry yelled, hopeless trying to snap the papers out of Dempsey's hand. But Dempsey had no intention to let her do that and he held them just out of her reach. 'Divorce Papers' he read at the front of the first one.

"Dempsey!" Harry pushed herself up in a sitting position against the pillows.

"Robert asked for divorce? Now? At this moment? When you are lying here? How can he do that?"

"He wants to move on with his life and to get married"

"But why after all these years?"

Because he doesn't want me anymore, Harry thought sadly.

"He forced me to sign the papers and he got wild when I couldn't do it"

Oh no. Dempsey flipped through the pages of the papers in silence. Harry didn't know exactly what he was thinking, but the expression on Dempsey's face said enough. It was an expression of fear, mixed with something she couldn't interpret. Carefully she tried to take his hand, but Dempsey pushed it away and stood up from the bed and walked over to the window.

"You are still in love with him?" he asked looking outside not seeing everything.

"With Robert?"

"Yeah who else? Or is there someone else? Someone I don't know about"

"You're kidding. Why...why do you think that?"

"Because you didn't sign the papers"

Harry bit her lip. She couldn't imagine that Dempsey didn't realise _why_ she hadn't sign the divorce papers. Her love for Robert had died many years ago probably on the day already when he had run away with her best friend. They both hadn't had any intention to file for divorce earlier, but Harry admitted that since Dempsey's return from New York she had thought about it more and more. But not in her wildest dream it had crossed her mind that Robert would show up with these papers in here. He had also hurt her very much with accusing her that she had wound Dempsey around her little finger by pretending that she was paralysed. And now Dempsey thought probably the same. That she had done it all on purpose.

"I couldn't sign them. No. And do you know why?" Harry challenged him.

"I don't think I want to hear it" She heard him saying with a small voice: "I'm glad I didn't show up earlier. That I didn't have to listen to the conversation between the two of you"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Harry wondered.

"All these weeks Harry? Even Angela suggested that Robert would never had stayed with you in the condition you're in now, but I guess she had it all wrong. You are still very fond of him. Maybe not in love anymore but..."

Harry put her hands against her ears. She didn't want to hear this.

"Do you know why I didn't sign the papers? Why I couldn't sign them? Because I can't write! That's the reason, not because I'm still in love with him!" Harry yelled at Dempsey while tears rolled over her cheek and fell down on her now clenched hands.

Speechless Dempsey turned around to look at her. Suddenly he felt so stupid. He had been so unfair to her. Why did he never think about that possibility himself? She could hardly use her fingers, had a psychology test next week in which they wanted to test how much her brain had been damaged by the CVA, which was still uncertain, and the only thing he could come up with was if she had still feelings for her ex husband.

Feeling real guilty he walked back to the bed and set next to Harry.

"How could you believe that I'm still in love with Robert?" he heard her saying: "You know I'm not"

"I know Princess, I'm so sorry, I really am"

Dempsey put his arm around Harry's shoulders and held her tight. When finally the sobs became a little weaker he took her chin in his hand.

"Harry, look at me. When I came in here, I told you that I have news for you. What do you think of the idea to spend next weekend together with me?"

"Do you mean that? Did they give me permission to do that?" Harry feared he was kidding.

"Yes, they did"

"I can't believe it. It's if a dream comes true. A whole weekend away from here. Being together with you, only the two of us! I can hardly wait"

"Me neither" Dempsey said softly, stroking Harry's hair and putting a kiss on her cheek. His only fear now was if Harry would like the surprise he had been secretly worked on. One moment he was certain she would be in seventh heaven, the other moment he was sure she wouldn't like it at all. So only time could tell.


	26. Chapter 26

_Finally Dempsey and Harry are on their way to spend their first __day and night together in more than 2 years. But like everything else in their lives, this also didn't take place without problems!_

"Where are you going?"

Harry was sitting in the car next to Dempsey. Finally after 9 weeks, she had permission to spend one night at her own house. And when this would be a success without having any problems, she could spend two nights there the upcoming weekend. She had been so exited about it, especially when Dempsey had told her that he would be there as well. To help her and that he wouldn't let her out of his sight.

"What do you mean, where am I going?"

"My place is that way. You know that. What are you doing?"

"Driving you home"

"Dempsey?" Harry said with a desperate voice "I don't know what you have in mind, but I just want to go home!"

"We're going home"

"No we are not"

"Yes, we are"

Harry felt silence for a moment. Why is he doing this to me? She thought. Was it so difficult to understand for him that after all these weeks being away she only wanted one thing: spending one day and night at her own place. Without visiting other people, only the two of them?

"Stop the car" she said.

"What?"

"You heard me. I said stop the car!"

"Why? Is there something wrong?" Dempsey took a look at her from aside trying not to sound too worried.

"No"

"Then what is it?" he asked totally confused now.

"I want to go out of here"

"This is ridiculous"

"No it isn't"

"Okay. Okay. I'll stop the car" He drove the car to an empty spot on the side of the road and then turned over to Harry who was struggling with her seat bell now to open it. And then before he even could react, she opened the car door and swung first her left leg and then her right leg outside.

"Are you out of your mind!" he yelled to her when he realised where she was up to. He reached out his hand trying to stop her. But failed. She was much quicker as he had ever expected. He had to watch how she was standing there outside the car now leaning heavily on her stick in one and holding the car with her other hand trying to keep her balance.

"Harry!" he yelled "Stop it. Go back in the car" but she pretended not to listen to him.

"That's enough" Dempsey opened the car door at his side and jumped outside. Then he ran to the other side of the car where Harry stood.

"What the hell are doing?" he asked putting a hand on her arm.

"If you don't want to bring me home, I walk home!"

"I don't believe this"

"You better had" she looked at him with furious eyes.

"Okay. Go ahead. Walk home then" he challenged her.

"Well?" he added when he saw that she didn't make a move.

Within a second, Dempsey knew that he had made a mistake adding that last word to her when he saw the look on Harry's face. Determination and something else he couldn't describe immediately.

Biting her lip, Harry did two steps. She knew that what she was doing was totally wrong. Everything she worked so hard for the last few weeks could be destroyed in just one second. But she had to do it. Just to prove it to herself and especially to Dempsey that she meant everything what she had said before. But by step three her right feet slipped away. Before she could hit the ground, she felt two strong arms around her holding her firmly and a voice whispering in her ear: "I knew you wanted to do it. Do you still not trust me?"

With a weak voice she answered: "I'm sorry"

Dempsey turned her around in his arms so he could face her.

"Harry? Maybe I was also wrong. If you want to go home so desperately, I'll drive you home"

Harry couldn't believe her ears. He was apologising to her! And not for the first time.

"Really?"

"Really! Go inside the car. Let's go home"

*****

15 minutes later Dempsey parked the car before the steps of her house.

"Are you coming with me?" Harry asked when Dempsey didn't move.

"Yeah" but it was obvious that his mind wasn't by with he was saying.

"What now?"

"Nothing"

"Dempsey what's wrong? Since you picked me up at the rehabilitation centre you acted like you're not happy with the fact that I'll spend a night at home. I really looked forward to it. You know that. Why are you spoiling it for me?"

"Do you think that I'm spoiling it for you?"

"Yeah I think so"

"That's not what I wanted"

"Then have also a little trust in me! Okay? Or have you second thoughts about this homecoming? Are you afraid that you make a mistake or something like that? Is that it?"

"No. I'm prepared for it. You know that. As much as you"

"Then what is it?"

"I can tell, you have to find out yourself"

"Find out what?"

"That home coming wouldn't be as easy as you expected"

"I told you already, I'm prepared for it. We worked both so hard for this day to come. Please"

Dempsey avoid looking at Harry when she opened the car door and went outside. He had parked the car right in front of the steps so that Harry shouldn't have to walk that much. But he didn't follow her out of the car. He just clinched his fists around the steering wheel and watched Harry just standing there at the bottom of the steps. She looked worried not knowing exactly what to do. For Dempsey it was almost unbearable to be a witness of this all, but he had no other choice. When they had told him that Harry got permission to go home during one night, he had asked the nurses or she had told them about the problems she had to face in and outside her house. They had been surprised, because she hadn't mentioned none to them and they had asked him or he could be a little more specific. After hearing what he meant, they made it very clear to him: in that case, Mrs. Makepeace won't get any permission at all to go home. With a lot of persuasion from his side, he had been able to bring them on other thoughts but he had never expected that Harry would be so stubborn existing on driving home. He had given in too easily, he admitted to himself. Just to avoid another, bigger, argument between them. And now he had to face the consequences.

Harry was still standing there. Her eyes switched between the steps in front of her and then to the front door. Without a rail on the side of the steps there wouldn't be any chance to climb up. With a face filled with despair and pain, Harry turned around to look at Dempsey. He saw a tear running down her cheek before she slowly sat down on the steps putting her stick beside her and holding her head in her hands. Dempsey couldn't face it any longer and opened the car door at his side, smashed it closed behind him and walked up to Harry who was now crying uncontrollably.

When he sat down next to her she whispered between sobs: "You realised it, didn't you?"

"Yes sweetheart, I realised it" putting his right arm around her shoulders and with his other holding her tight against him. Letting her head resting against his chest.

"Why? Why did you realised it and I didn't?"

"Harry, you forget that I have spent weeks here during your stay at the hospital and the rehabilitation centre. I have seen where you are able to at the moment and what's a difficulty for you. It wouldn't be only these few steps. There's a stair inside that you wouldn't be able to climb as well. I guess you realise that now too"

"But what if I can never live here anymore?"

"It's too early to say that"

"You know how hard I fought to go back to my own place. What if that never happened again?" Only thinking on that possibility started a new flow of tears.

"Harry, unfortunately I can't guarantee you that. I wished I could, you know that. But if that will be the case, we'll find a solution. You and me"

"No!" Harry exasperated.

"What no?" Dempsey asked a little confused: "Don't you want me to find a solution together with you?" Somewhere deep inside him a little fear started to grow.

"No that's not what I mean. I can't give it up here, I can't!" It came out so desperately, that Dempsey got the feeling that there laid much, much more behind that word _No_ then she realised

it herself. Maybe it had something to do with that locked room upstairs? That room that was still a mystery for him?

"Sweetheart? Is there anything you need from here?"

"What do you mean?" she asked really having no idea what he meant.

"Just like I said. Clothes, Or other things? I can get them for you"

"But... I want to go with you!"

"I know, I know, I wished that too, more then anything in the world. Believe me. But it's not possible at the moment so just think: is there anything you need right now from inside the house?"

"I don't know" trying to wipe of the tears but without any luck.

"As much as I wanted to sit here forever together with you, it wouldn't be wise. Come on. Let's go back to the car"

He held out his hand and guided Harry back to the car.

"Can you pick up one thing for me?" she asked when she set back in the car.

"Sure. What do you want?"

"In the bookcase downstairs, there's a small brown book standing on the second shelf from the bottom. With gold letters written "Diary" on it. Can you see or you can find that for me?"

"Sure. But I never knew you're writing a Journal"

Dempsey closed the door of the car and went upstairs. Only watching him going up the steps without having any difficulties, made some new tears appear in Harry's eyes. Oh she wished so badly she could go inside with him. That she could pick up that Diary herself. She could only hope that he would just picked it up and not starting to read in it. But she hadn't been worried about that. It was only 5 minutes later that she saw him closing the front door of her house behind him and walking back to the car with a plastic bag in his hand.

"Here" he said slipping behind the steering wheel and dropping the bag on her lap "There were two of them. Had no idea which one you wanted so I brought both of them with me. And no, I didn't peek in it"

A little smile crept over Harry's face.

"That's better. No more tears" and he gave her hand a little squeeze before starting the engine and driving away.

Too Harry's surprise, he almost took the same route as earlier that day.

"Where are we going?"

"No, don't start that again" Dempsey answered.

"Just asking"

"Yeah, but I guess I became a little allergic for these words. But we are going home. I told you that before"

"You're not driving at Winfield Hall don't you?" Harry asked a little worried.

"No, would that be so bad?"

"Not now. Not today!" was all Harry said looking out of the window.

"Relax. We are driving to my place"

"Your place?"

"Yep. My place. Surprised?"

"A little"

"I rented a house, well not exactly me"

Suspicious Harry starred at him and frown her eyebrows.

"I told you, I want to spend this day and night together with you and not with someone else!"

"Wow" Dempsey reacted: "Especially the word night sounds promising"

Harry wanted to say something in return but then she realised what she had just said and blushed.

"Hey, you're blushing!"

"Will you stop it"

"No, I'm glad that I'm obvious still able to make you blush"

"Don't get too enthusiastic" she warned him. She had to stop him now. Before it was too late and he expected too much from her. At least much more then she would be able to give him.

"Hey it has been more then 2 years since the last time we slept in a bed together" he winked: "Don't expect me to forget that"

"I bet you wouldn't"

"Come on Harry. Be honest. I'm sure you didn't forget it either"

It was so very hard to deny it, but she had to.

"It's not something that crossed my mind lately"

"Who talks about lately? We never discussed it, but I know you haven't had someone else after me so..."

"So what?"

"You don't want to make it easy for me, don't you?"

"Dempsey! Will you stop this now. To go back to where this all came from: who rented the place where you are staying?"

"Why changing the subject Harry? Don't you have memories on our last night together? But okay, I won't push you anymore. It's your father who's paying the rent for my place. Satisfied?"

"My father? Why?"

"You have to ask him. He insisted on it. I guess, he only wants the best for you"

"For me? And what about you?"

"I didn't want it , but it's a very expensive place, I can't effort it myself"

"You could refuse it. My father had done enough for me, for us" she corrected herself: "Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"Sweetheart. He offered me the place so we could spend some time together. I just thought it was very nice of him"

"Yeah. But I know what he is doing!"

"Don't you think you are overreacting this a little bit?"

"No"

"And what is he doing in your opinion?"

Was he so blind or what?

"Never mind"

"No Harry, I like to know. What is he doing?"

"Interfering into my live and now in yours also, but I have had it. It has been enough"

Dempsey didn't answer immediately because he was driving the car into a big parking place which belonged to a very high and very expensive building.

"This is it?" Harry asked astounded looking around and couldn't believe her eyes.

"This is it. Have I said too much?"

"Wow, this is wonderful"

"I'm glad you like it. Come on let's go inside" Dempsey picked Harry's weekend bag from the back seat of the car and put an arm around her shoulders. He felt her shiver for a short moment of time. What was the reason for that? Was she perhaps afraid for what he expected from her? Had he pushed her too far earlier in the car and had he now ruined all his chances if he had had any at all?? He only hoped that the upcoming 24 hours they finally should have a chance to talk to each other properly without nurses, roommates or other people who interrupted them. Only the two of them.


	27. Chapter 27

Dempsey had lowered his arm from around her shoulders to Harry's waist just to be able to steady her more while they were entering the building. When they passed the main entrance an old man exit the door holding it open to them.

"Mr. Dempsey?" the man said: "How are you doing?"

"Fine" Dempsey gave the man a smile and pressed Harry a bit more against him.

"It's so good to see that you finally brought your lovely wife with you" the man checked Harry from her head to her toes and back.

"Your wife?" Harry whispered between her teeth's.

"Mr. Crane, my wife Harriet Makepeace" Dempsey introduced them to each other knowing how Harry hated this short of things.

"Please to meet you" the man who had been introduced as Mr. Crane hold out his hand to shake Harry's, but she had no idea how she would be able to do that with Dempsey's arm resting around her waist and in her other hand holding her stick.

"She's a little unstable at the moment" Dempsey tried to explain: "She just came out of the hospital"

"Ah, that's why we haven't seen you here before. I thought already such a nice young man. Without a woman? What would be wrong with him?"

"Eh Yeah" Dempsey started to get a little uncomfortable with the whole situation now himself:" Mr. Crane if you don't mind, we like to go inside now before my wife collapses here on the floor"

"Sure, sure" Mr. Crane gave Harry's arm a little squeeze: "You are lucky to have such a nice man at your side. Have a good time" and with these words Mr. Crane stepped outside.

When he was out of hearing distance and Dempsey and Harry stood next to each other waiting for the elevator to come, Harry couldn't hold herself back anymore.

"What the hell have you told them here in this building about me? It was so embarrassing!"

"The man just made a conclusion about what he thought he saw, that's all"

"I don't believe you!"

"It wouldn't be such a big issue for you, if you were indeed my wife. Well?" he added when it became silence from Harry's side.

Harry knew deep down inside that Dempsey was right. It wouldn't have been a problem for her when she had indeed been Mrs. Dempsey and not "just" his girlfriend.

"Maybe not" she said a little hesitated.

"Just forget it"

When the doors to the elevator opened, Dempsey guided Harry inside and pushed a button after Harry's back.

"To which floor are we going" she asked to change the object and to try to forget that embarrassing moment as soon as possible.

"5th. It's the top floor"

"But your afraid of heights!"

"You remember?"

"Yeah. Remember our first case?"

"Oh yeah I remembered that one very well" and he looked at her with such a odd expression on his face that Harry knew that his thoughts were on something totally different as that she had had in mind.

"Not that part silly!" she answered blushing heavily for the second time that day.

He smiled an innocent smile when he asked: "Which part then Harry?"

"That stupid hunch from you so that we had to climb that observation post to watch the trucks of Task International"

"Oh you mean that one"

"Yeah that one. Till this day I still have no idea why you didn't admit in the first place that you were scared to death on that thing"

When he didn't answer immediately, Harry turned around to look at him. She saw him biting his lip. Or he was considering what he would say or not on that. And when the answer finally came, she was totally surprised with it.

"We had just met Harry. Admitting would have made things even worse. I knew how you thought about me then. I had a soft spot for you already, you know that, but you hated me like hell. So I pretended not to be scared at all but you have no idea how much energy that had cost me. I had nightmares about it for weeks"

"I've never knew that"

"Well now you know" he said with a small voice not knowing if he should be happy with the fact that she knew one of his secrets now. Harry continued to look at him. He was still holding her around her waist so she wasn't able to do much more then free her right hand and lifting it up carefully to touch his face.

"I wished you had told me back then" she whispered softly caressing his cheek.

"Maybe"

On that same moment that he had said that, the doors of the elevator opened.

"Come on let's go"

Together they walked to a big hallway before Dempsey stood still for a door with number 52 on it.

"Where did I put the keys?" searching for them first in his right pocket but came up with nothing.

"Can you steady yourself for a second?" he asked, freeing his arm from around Harry's waist.

"You may thought that I got to use by the fact now that I have to put everything in my left pocket" he apologised himself digging into them for the keys while Harry tried to steady herself with one hand against the wall.

"I still have that same problem myself" she didn't want him to feel too uncomfortable about it right now.

"You have?"

"Yeah. I'm still putting things in my right pocket and after I had done that, it feels if I'm tumbling down. It felt so heavy. Don't know why"

"I think it has something to do with your balance"

"Probably"

"Well, after you Princess" Dempsey said when he had finally been able to open the front door of the apartment.

When Harry went inside she couldn't believe her eyes. There was a big hallway which had been painted in white an a little red. Four rooms came out on the hallway and one of them stood open.

"That's the kitchen" Dempsey pointed in that direction with his head when he saw Harry looking.

"Can I take a look?"

"Sure. You don't have to ask that. It's also your home. When you take a look in there I'll put your bag in the bedroom. Then I will show you the other rooms" and before she could say something, he opened one of the other doors and went inside.

For a short moment of time, Harry had no idea what to do. She just stood there. It was just too overwhelming. Some words Dempsey had said earlier that day crossed her mind. "That home coming wouldn't be so easy as she expected" No it wouldn't, she realised that now.

"Are you still standing here?" she heard a voice whispering in her ear and felt two arms around her waist which were pushing her against him.

"I....." Harry tried to explain but failed.

"What's the matter?" he asked turning her around in his arms so he would be able to look at her.

"I don't know. I never expected this and....." she tried again.

"Hey just enjoy it. Okay? I'm so glad that I'll finally be able to hold you in my arms without any interruptions"

Harry was fully aware of what he was intended to do when his eyes switched between her eyes and her mouth now and up to her eyes again. His left hand slipped into her hair. He didn't break eye contact when his right hand ran down over her shoulders to her back to stay there. He even wasn't aware of it, it seemed to be become a natural thing already. Just holding her in such a way that there wouldn't be a chance for her to fall down. Pulling her even more against him, he bended his head and before she even realised it, she felt his mouth on hers. Oh it was so good to feel him kissing her. First his kisses were just very soft as if he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing. But then when she didn't push him away, his kisses became more sensual and demanding. She had missed this so very much during the last 2 years. Slowly her body started to react to what he was doing. He must have felt that as well when he kissed her with even more passion trying to open her mouth with his tongue to slip inside. But on the same time that he was trying to do that, a little voice inside her head started to whisper something to her. What the hell are you doing? If you are continuing to do so, you'll end up with him in bed even before you should have had a chance to talk to him. And to do that afterwards.....that even would make things even more complex as that they were. So with all her strength she had, she laid her hands against his chest and pushed him away from her. Surprised by her reaction, Dempsey released her mouth and looked at her face which was burning heavily. Embarrassed she tried to avoid his look.

"Dempsey please. Don't do this to me!"

"Why not? I waited for more then 2 years now Harry. Do you have any idea how much that I wanted to do this already when I saw you back that first night in the hospital?"

"But I can't!" she exasperated trying to get away from him.

"Why? You want me as much as I want you. You can't deny that"

"Leave me alone! Is that the only reason that you brought me here?" she asked him with despair in her voice. Had she been so wrong about him during all these last weeks?

"How can you say that!" he was still holding her around her waist but his grip started to loose a little bit.

"To me it seemed so"

They were looking at each other now fully aware of the fact that the atmosphere had completely changed within a minute.

"If you think so, then let me show you something!" he yelled grabbing her hand.

"No wait a minute" Harry screamed back loudly.

"What now?"

"I'm coming with you but take it easy"

He just looked at her. He had obvious totally forgotten for a moment that she wasn't able to follow him the way he wanted.

"Sorry" he said realising his mistake.

Then he took her hand again, a bit more careful this time, and walked over to what obvious was the living room of the house. He opened the door, stepped through it and pushed Harry inside.

"Here!" he pointed at something in the room: "If you are still thinking that the only reason that I brought you here is to go to bed with you, maybe this will change your mind!"

In total disbelief and unable to speak Harry stood in the middle of the room looking at the table on which she saw a vase with the biggest bundle of roses she had ever seen in her entire life. She bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears she felt welling up in her eyes. This was so sweet. She had never expected this from him. Sometimes he could be such a softy.

"Your favourites" she heard Dempsey saying behind her.

"I don't know what to say. They are lovely. Thank you so much. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Can you please forgive me?" A tear ran down her cheek now, followed by another one.

"Don't cry. It wasn't fair from me to push you into something like that. I had to realise that you have other, for you more important, things on your mind at the moment"

"But you are so right! I want it just as much as you do, but I can't!"

"Then tell me. Why not?"

"Not now, please Dempsey. Please not now" she begged.

"All right. Let me know then when you'll be ready for it" and to change the subject he added: "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?"

Oh why was he so understanding since he came back?

"Don't tell me that you learn to cook in the meantime? Because when you do, don't expect me to believe that and I don't want to say sorry again"

"No, I have to disappoint you about that. I'm afraid I'll never learn to cook. I wanted to order something if that's alright with you?"

Takeaways, she should have known that.

"No problem"

"Italian or do you prefer Chinese this time?"

"Haven't eaten Chinese for ages"

"Chinese it will be then" and when he picked up the receiver to place an order, Harry walked over to the big sofa in the middle of the room and sat down. Even the living room was bigger then she had ever seen. Looking around suddenly something got her attention. In one of the bookcases she saw two photos standing next to each other. One of her and Dempsey taking just days before he flew back to New York but the other one..... How the hell did he get that one? Which of her family or friends had broken their promise to her? Or did he perhaps know everything already? Did he only pretend that he knew nothing? Tonight. Tonight she ensured herself. Tonight she had to tell him everything. He had waited long enough.


	28. Chapter 28

Harry took a deep breath. It was so hard for her to pretend that she hadn't noticed the two photos in the bookcase when Dempsey put the telephone receiver down after making his phone call to order the Chinese food and took a seat next to her.

"It's on its way. I need to go downstairs to pay, when its arrives. Do you think you can stay here alone for a couple of minutes?"

"Of course I can! That I'm not able to walk properly, wouldn't mean I'm senile or something!"

"No that's true. Harry?" he said: "Eh....You never talked about it and I was always afraid to ask, but there's something that crossed my mind since that first day I visited you in the hospital"

Harry turned around to look at him. He sounded a little nervous and not particular sure about himself.

"Go ahead. What do you want to know?" she tried to encourage him.

"I don't know how to say it but......if it happened, did it ever crossed your mind that there would have been a possibility that you wouldn't be able to speak anymore besides of this?" he said while his hand was touching her right arm and leg in the meantime.

Astound Harry opened her mouth and then closed it without producing a word.

"Have you ever thought of that?" he repeated softly.

"I don't know anymore, but I don't think so. Maybe it crossed my mind later when I was in the rehabilitation centre and I saw people who had really difficulties with putting words and sins together"

"And then?"

"Then what?" she had no idea what he meant.

"Weren't you happy that that had never happened to you?"

"Dempsey, of course I was, but did you never noticed these days in the hospital that I felt silence from time to time? I had some problems with the right side of my mouth. After speaking for some time, that part became very tired and I had to stop talking. It felt so wired. Don't know how to explain it"

"Really? I always thought that you just had to think about words to say, that you couldn't find the right ones. Never noticed that that was the reason. Indeed, you hided it very well. Even to me!" he added the last words with a little disappointment in his voice.

"Hey. This has nothing to do with you!" Harry put a hand on his arm trying to comfort him so that he wouldn't felt too much guilty about it.

"Maybe I got so used to the fact to hide my real feelings over the years to everybody that it became a second habit"

"And now?"

"What do you mean with ......and now?"

"Are you still hiding your real feelings?" Dempsey looked Harry straight in the eyes: "Be honest with me Harry. You have changed so much since I left you 2 years ago. Sometimes I have the feeling that I don't know you anymore. That you became a stranger to me"

"Do you really think that?"

"Sometimes I do. Yeah"

Harry bit her lip. She knew that she had changed during the last 2 years of his absence. She had grown and the last few weeks perhaps had changed her even more.

"Dempsey...." she started carefully: "What happened to me can change someone's personality completely, you know that. But why are you thinking that I became a stranger to you?"

She saw him shrugged his shoulders.

"Remember that we made an agreement about that when we became a couple? That we should share everything with each other?"

"Yeah. I remember that. It was mostly you who had difficulties with sharing your emotions with me or someone else"

Dempsey knew that she was right about this. Expression his emotions hadn't been the easiest part for him. And still it wasn't.

Before Harry could say something else, the phone started to ring. Dempsey stood up from the sofa, walked over to it and picked up the receiver.

"Dempsey" he yelled while he was staring at Harry's back of her head who was sitting on the sofa and felt really miserable inside. That Dempsey had the feeling that she became a total stranger to him, had hurt her very deeply. She had never expected that.

But she turned her head abruptly to where Dempsey was standing when she heard him yelling: "No! I'm not available tonight! It's Harry's first night at home. You know that" he went silence for a moment and a voice on the other side screamed: "Dempsey!" "I won't be in till Monday!" he nodded his head to avoid Harry's staring look at him when he put the receiver down while the voice on the other side screamed again: "Lieutenant!" this time.

"Was that Spiking's voice?" Harry asked with great hesitation in her voice.

"Think so" Dempsey was still standing at the other side of the room.

"Why? Why is he calling you and why did you say to him 'I'm not in till Monday' What does that mean?"

When Dempsey still didn't answered her, only looked at her if he wanted to be everywhere but not in this room together with her at the moment, some fear started to grow deep inside her. Was this what he had had in mind just minutes ago with saying that line about sharing everything with each other? Spikings phoning Dempsey could only mean one thing: Dempsey was working for SI10 again! Without mentioned it to her.

Recognising the look on Harry's face, he knew instantly that she had realized what the meaning of that phone call was.

"Please. Tell me it's not true!" Harry said still hoping that she had it all so wrong: "Are....are you working for SI10 again?"

"Harry......I" Dempsey tried, but she interrupted him immediately. It seemed if she even didn't heard what he had tried to say to her.

"For how long?"

"The day after I came back to London" he answered with a soft voice.

"But that's 9 weeks ago! You hide that 9 weeks for me! How can you do that?"

"Chas and Spikings advised me not to mention it to you"

"Why?"

"They were afraid you couldn't handle it. And to be honest now: I think they were right. You would have been worried sick every time that I had to be out on a case if you had knew it before. You had had enough on your mind already"

Harry just ignored what Dempsey had just said to her. She stood up from the sofa and walked to the door of the balcony.

"What are you doing?" Dempsey asked when he saw her struggling with the door to open.

"I need some fresh air!'

"Harry?" the warning sound of his voice made her turning around to look at him.

He was still standing on the other side of the room but had put his hands in his pockets now so that Harry wouldn't be able to see how he had clinched his wrists together, trying to keep his temper under control and not to become too angry.

"You accused me from hiding this from you, but didn't you do the same thing during these last few weeks?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think, you know exactly what I mean! I don't think I need to spell it out for you"

"That's not fair! That's a total different thing!"

"Oh yeah? I don't think so. I guess, we are equal now. I'll see or our food had been arrived in the meantime" after saying these words, Dempsey walked out of the room and seconds later she heard the front door shut behind him.

Harry felt the tears welling up into her eyes again after he had left. Why did she become so emotional lately? She had never cried so much in her entire life as during the last couple of weeks. She opened the door to the balcony and stepped outside. A fresh air was blowing into her face and she took a deep breath. Resting with her hands on the railing to study herself, she let her thoughts running over the last half hour and over, god knows, the hundredth or even thousandth argument now she had had with Dempsey since the day they had met. Why couldn't they just lived with each other as every other couple without having disagreements about almost everything? She heard Dempsey answering this question almost immediately in her head: 'that's just us princess'. Yeah, maybe he was right, but lately she wanted more and more only one thing: that these arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings or whatever you called them, ended.


	29. Chapter 29

Harry leant against Dempsey shoulder resting with her head on his chest and with his arm around her shoulders fighting to keep her eyes open and not to fall asleep. In front of them the TV showed one of Dempsey's favourite movies "On The Waterfront". They had watched this movie all so many times before together in the past, that they both could almost dreamed the dialogue of it.

When Harry yawned loudly, Dempsey freed his arm from around her and stood up to switch the TV off.

"You don't have to do that" Harry protested, but not without much conviction.

"Yes. It's bedtime for you"

"But it's only 9 o'clock!" she protested for a second time.

"Can be, but I heard from the nurses that mostly you went to bed around this time lately so, come on let's go" he reached out his hand to her to help her upright.

"You talked to them? Behind my back?"

"Harry, please don't start another argument about such stupid thing as bedtime!" he pleaded.

It had been almost 2 hours ago now since Dempsey had returned from downstairs with the big brown bag with Chinese food. The atmosphere had been cold as ice when he had spread the food out on two plates and putting them on the small table in front of the sofa saying nothing while doing that.

"Do you want some wine?" he had asked her finally.

"No. Water would be fine with me" Harry had answered, knowing that she had no permission to drink wine for awhile.

A short time later he returned with two glasses of water from the kitchen.

"You can drink wine, if you want. You don't have to do what I do"

"Never mind" he answered taking a seat at the other side of the table.

He even didn't wanted to sit next to me anymore, Harry thought sadly, did I hurt him so deeply that even that is too much to ask for him?

She had felt even more miserable and hardly could swallow a thing. It was if she felt a lump in her throat. A lump that grow bigger and bigger during the next half hour.

She pricked around with her fork on the plate, trying to eat at least something but failed. After 10 more minutes she gave up and pushed the plate away from her.

Dempsey, noticing what she was doing, looked at her plate and frowned his eyebrows.

"You hardly eat a thing. Don't you like it? I thought you look forward to it! I think it's delicious!"

"You can eat everything if you want. Don't disturb me!"

"What's the matter with you?" he glanced at her with a suspicious look on his face.

"What's the matter with me? I really looked forward to this weekend. You and me. Finally some time to spend together without others around us. But till now it looks more a nightmare to me. We have one argument after another. I can do this anymore Dempsey. I can't!"

"Oh you think I like it this way? Every time that things don't go as you expected, it seems to be my fault" he started to get angry again. That outburst earlier had been just a beginning. She should have known that.

"Well let me tell you something lady. The last 9 weeks I didn't do anything else then running between you in the hospital and later the rehabilitation centre and my job at SI10. I got special permission of Spikings: when you needed me, to be there for you. But sometimes I was so totally exhausted that I felt asleep during a surveillance. There have been times that I even regretted it that I came back. But I did it for you. To give us, hopefully, one last chance. If I had had another job, I would have lost it weeks ago. Everybody cares a lot about you and we all realise that these weeks haven't been easy for you. But you can also push it too hard Harry. And that's what you're doing at the moment. I told you already that going home again wouldn't be so easy as you expected, but you are making it even harder for yourself and also for me. I'm trying to do everything you want or need, but obvious that's not enough for you. Fine. See or you can stay with someone else next week. Because I can't do it this anymore either Harry!"

After these words he throw his paper napkin on the table and walked away. She heard the door of the bedroom smashing against the wall first before it slammed.

Harry just set there on the sofa, totally taken by surprise. She fumbled her paper napkin in her hand to a ball not knowing that she was doing it. She had never heard him saying so much after another. One line of his speech had hit her in particular 'There have been times that I even regretted it that I came back' Did he really mean that? Or had he only said that out of despair and frustration? Taking in a deep breath she walked over to the bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Dempsey? May I come in? We have to talk this out"

"There will plenty of time tomorrow!" she heard him saying.

"No. Now. Tonight" and not waiting for another thing to say from him, she pushed the bedroom door open and walked inside.

Dempsey was lying on the bed in a position she know so well from him. On his right side with his arm under the pillow.

"If you came for an apologise, it's too late for that"

"I understand that" Harry set down on the bed next to Dempsey. She wanted to touch his shoulder and reached her hand out at him but at the same time she heard him saying: "I won't do that if I were you!" if he had eyes in the back of his head and knew where she was up to.

Harry chose her words very carefully. Being afraid otherwise that she said the wrong things again and to hurt Dempsey even more.

"I only came in here to let you know that I never regretted it that you came back. And I hope you didn't meant it when you said you did. It has been the happiest day of my life seeing you again in the hospital. I know, I didn't acted that way first, but I was shocked. Never expected you there. I have no idea how I would have overcome these last 9 weeks without your support and being there when I needed you the most. I really like to spend the next weekend with you. If you still like having me around of course" Harry added with a small voice.

No answer. Totally silence.

What had you expect then your idiot? That he would jump enthusiastically from the bed screaming: "Okay Harry, everything is fine again Harry?"

"I know, I probably don't deserve it anymore but I hope, there's still an us for you to consider?"

Still no answer.

"Dempsey will you please say something to me?"

"Why? What do you want me to say?" she saw him rolling over to his left side and looking at her.

"Doesn't matter. Something"

"Do you like to hear something about those terrible, lonely 2 years which are lying behind me? Years in which I missed you so much that I could hardly stand it anymore? Is that what you want to hear?"

"You missed me?" Harry asked astound.

"Yes. I did everything to be with you again after I flew back to New York. I even did deskwork most of the time, and you know how I hate that, only to stay out of the line of fire so I wouldn't shoot everybody and jeopardise my chances for a permanent job here in London. 3 months long I behaved myself. And after O'Grady had signed my official papers I only wanted one thing: going back London, to the SI10, back to you. But all I got was nothing. No phone call from you, only totally silence. Have you any idea what that did to me? The only reason I could come up with, was that you had moved on with your life and that there wasn't a place in it for me anymore. Till your father made that phone call"

Harry was pondering the words Dempsey had just said to her. At the same time she thought back on the conversation she had had with Angela when she laid in the hospital.

"Did you every tried to contact me on Winfield Hall that first week after you flew back to New York?" she asked hoping that he had done that.

"I don't know anymore. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't"

"Think. Did you, or didn't you?"

"Harry. It has been 2 years ago!"

"It's important!" she yelled at him.

"Ho. Slow down. What does it matter or I tried to contact you there or not....? Harry?"

"Because.....If you did, and I told you in the hospital already that I spend my first week that you were away there, then my father never told me that you had tried to contact me"

"Harry? This is ridiculous. What you are saying now is that your father didn't want me to phone you anymore and just "forgot" to mention my call to you? Come on. You don't believe that yourself. Why should he do that?"

Because my father thought back then that he had had a good reason for that Dempsey. A very good reason.

"It would explain a lot to me" was the only thing she answered when Dempsey started to ask even more questions.

"Then we go to Winfield Hall next week" Dempsey decided: "I like to have some answers as well"

"So you still like having me around?"

"Of course I like to have you being around. I never met such a stubborn woman as you in my life but I wouldn't like it otherwise! Come on let's see or our TV had something enjoyable to watch" he put his arm around Harry's waist and guided her to the sofa in the living room.


	30. Chapter 30

_**T**__**wo chapters to read for this weekend**_

When Dempsey had switched of the lights in the living room, he put his arm around Harry's shoulders and together they walked into the bedroom.

"I can always sleep on the sofa if you wish" he said when he saw Harry looking at the double bed.

"No, no, it's just that..." she hesitated.

"Just what?" he tried to encourage her.

"It's such a long time since...."

"Since what? Since what Harry?"

Harry set down on the bed, plugging on the blanket with one hand and not knowing how to verbalise exactly what she had in mind.

Dempsey knelt in front of her taking Harry's restless hands in his.

"Are you afraid to share your bed with me, is that it Harry?" he suggested.

Harry nodded her head.

"But I've already told you that I wouldn't push you into something you're not ready to at the moment"

"But after all these years....... You know already that after you there hasn't been someone else, but you....."

"For me neither Harry" he whispered softly.

Surprised and totally confused she looked at him.

"You're kidding"

"No, I'm not kidding. I told you once that I'm not the Romeo of the NYPD you take me for. Before we came together as a couple I dated some women, but after I flew back to New York there has always been only one woman for me" he waited a second before he added: "You"

"Then there would be only more reason for you to....." Harry started but was interrupted by Dempsey immediately.

"Will you stop it. I'm already happy to hold you in my arms tonight. I dreamed about that for more then 2 years. That's a lot of dreaming and I thought that it would never happen again"

Harry couldn't believe what she had just heard him saying.

"Look at me Harry" he continued.

Slowly Harry lifted her face up to look Dempsey in the eyes.

"We'll take one step at the time and will see what it will bring us. Okay?"

"Okay" Harry answered even more confused now.

"Well let's go to bed then. Do you want to take a shower first? There's also a bath if you want that"

"Sounds lovely"

"Come on then" Dempsey raised Harry from the bed and pushed her to the bathroom.

"If you need something, just ask"

Harry opened the bathroom door and walked over to the toilet. It was the only place in the whole bathroom where she could sit. She had been amazed about Dempsey's confession that there hadn't been another woman after her. But could she believe him? Of course you can, she said to herself. You have to believe him. But if he had just say that to comfort her? She could never prove it or he hadn't dated other women after her. Why did she felt so insecure about this all? But deep inside of her, she knew where these doubts and fear came from. How would he react if she told him that she perhaps would never be able to give him anymore what he wanted so badly from her? Not now and not in the future?

She sat there for a few more minutes resting her head into her hands. After a while she stood up from the toilet and walked over to the shower cabin in the corner of the bathroom. It was a very big one but there was nothing inside to hold herself on. And taking a bath would only become an even bigger problem. She had really no idea how to climb into it.

There was only one option left: Dempsey had to help her. If she liked it or not.

Taking a deep breath, she reopened the bathroom door. She saw Dempsey lying on the bed reading a book. Obvious he hadn't hear her come in or didn't expected her back so soon. At least, he didn't react.

"James?" Harry whispered softly.

No reaction.

"James?" she said a little louder this time.

This time Dempsey put the book down and Harry would never forget the surprised look on his face. If he had heard something, but couldn't believe it.

"You called me James!" he whispered in total amazement.

Harry looked a little sheepish.

"You have no idea how I missed that hearing from you" he answered with a voice that was filled with emotion.

"Sorry" Harry had not realized that it had hurt him so much that she had never mentioned his first name during all these weeks. Even Angela had called him James!

"What's the matter?" He jumped from the bed and stood immediately beside her.

"I wanted to take a shower, but have no idea how to do that on my own!" Despair was sounded in her voice: "There's nothing to hold myself on in there"

"Let's see what we can do about it" Dempsey took Harry's arm and guided her back to the bathroom. With Harry standing behind him, he bit his lip hard to try to come up with a solution.

"Do you know something? I don't understand why Nicole didn't notice this. She had been here together with you I assume?" Harry wondered.

"Eh.." Dempsey started to feel guilty about this now: "I think I underestimated this a little"

He felt her hand on his arm as a sign she didn't liked his answer.

"What do you mean by that?"

Harry became suspicious especially when he avoided her and didn't turn around.

"I said to her that there were no special needs needed in here for you"

"How did you know that? You know how the bathroom looks like in the rehabilitation centre. At least I have something to sit on there when I'm taking a shower!"

"I know. I'm sorry okay? It never crossed my mind anymore. Nicole suggested I buy a plastic bath chair for you to sit on, but I totally forgot it. It's no excuse. Again: I'm sorry"

Knowing him saying 'I'm sorry' twice in one sentence did more to her then the whole shower thing.

"You had enough on your mind. I don't blame you. But what are we going to do about it now?"

"Maybe I have an idea, but I don't know if you like it" Dempsey had turned around now to look Harry straight in the eyes.

"What's your suggestion?" she really liked to hear what had crossed his mind.

"That I put you under the shower and hold you!" His eyes were focused on hers now.

"What?" she exasperated: "You can't be serious"

"If you have another suggestion...."

"I almost think that you are doing this on purpose! You are enjoying this tremendously aren't you?"

A little smile crept over his face.

"Well I can't deny that but ...."

Harry groaned. She should have known this.

"I'll take a shower tomorrow when I'll be back in the rehabilitation centre!" She said real angry now, turned around and wanted to walk away. This was so embarrassing. But Dempsey grabbed her arm to stand her.

"Listen Harry. If you want to take a shower, you get your shower! Did you forget how many showers we shared in the past? I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with your memory. Come on Harry"

But Harry acted as if she hadn't heard him.

"Harry?" Dempsey begged: "I promised you that I'll behave myself. Let me prove it to you"

For a split second of time, Harry got the impression that if she gave in now, she would do exactly what he hoped for.

"Alright then" she said finally pushing him aside so that she could sit on the toilet again. She saw Dempsey frown his eyebrows.

"It's the only way that I'm able to get my shoes off" she explained: "And the rest" she added without noticing what she was saying while she pulled her t-shirt over her head with one hand.

"Wow" she heard Dempsey saying: "That's amazing"

And before Harry could give any commentary on it, he repeated what he had just seen her doing and also put his t-shirt over his head with using only one hand.

"This is not funny Dempsey!"

Oops he thought, we're back to the Dempsey thing again, not James.

"I would never say it's funny"

"Then don't act like it is!" Harry tried then to ignore him completely too focused on herself. She stripped her trousers down and put her socks off. Only her underwear left, but she hesitated. Only thinking on the fact to strip them off as well and taking a shower in front of Dempsey without them, made her nervous. They had seen each other naked so many times in the past, but this was different. She wasn't ready for that part yet.

Shyly she bit her lip. Hoping that Dempsey won't make any suggestive remark about her underwear. That would be too much to ask for her to handle.


	31. Chapter 31

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Harry closed her eyes and opened them again hoping that she had had just a bad dream and that what she had seen disappeared when she opened them again. But it wasn't a bad dream. The view was still there. Dempsey was standing on the other side of the bathroom with only his boxers short on.

"How do you expect me to put you under the shower to get wet and that I'll stay dry in it? Well?"

"This was no part of the deal!"

"Did we have one then?"

"Dempsey!" Harry put her head in her hands. She should have known it. In this he probably would never change.

"It's only a shower Harry. Why is it such a big issue for you? When you were the first 2/3 weeks in the rehabilitation centre nurses also helped you with taking a shower. I never heard you complaining about it then"

"This is something completely different"

"Oh yeah"

"Yeah, they helped me"

"And in your opinion what I'm doing?"

"You're making a joke of it" Harry stretched her hand out to her trousers to put them back on but that was too much for Dempsey. He took both Harry's arms in an iron grip and pushed her up so that the only thing she could do was to pull her hands around his neck to steady herself.

"Why are you always making it so hard for yourself Harry?" Harry didn't react, she just wanted to free herself but Dempsey was still holding her with no intention of letting her go.

"Come on Harry. Let's take that shower, then we can both go to bed"

"Okay, let's do it" she gave finally in.

Dempsey did his best not to laugh. He put his arm around her waist now and guided her to the shower. Carefully he let her step in first. He saw her taking a deep breath and she slowly turned around to him.

"I'm scared" she whispered. Something Dempsey had realized before already. This whole shower thing had started out of fear. Fear for something she couldn't control by herself anymore. For her it must have been almost unbearable to accept. She wanted to be so independent and now she had to ask everybody for help. Especially him.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm with you. I won't let you down" He so desperately wanted to comfort her.

"I know" she whispered again.

Dempsey turned the water on and minutes later they were both totally wet. He had been so right, and not for the first or last time, she said to herself. It would have been impossible for him to stay dry.

When he picked up the bottle with soap, she started to panic again. He felt it when she clenched her hands even faster around his arms.

"You know what? Put your hands on my shoulders. I'll soap us both up. I'll do it as fast as I can. When you have problems with it, just let me know. Okay?"

She didn't say a word, but Dempsey saw still fear in her eyes. She was still not sure about this all.

"Do you know, that you still have a beautiful body?" he tried to distract her so she would relax a bit more. "It hardly changed"

"That's because of the fitness I think"

"Maybe we can do some fitness together again when you'll be home"

"That sounds great"

"I'm sure Henry will give us some tips what you can do at home"

Dempsey took the bottle with soap in his right hand and squeezed a little too hard. Soap flew through the air and a big part of it landed on Harry's belly.

"Oops. I guess, I became a little too enthusiastic with that"

Harry laughed.

"Shall I do that again?" Dempsey asked looking at her: "It's so good to hear you laugh" but only seconds later, Harry preferred the ground opened up under her and that she could have disappeared in it. Dempsey's hand laid on her belly and he was washing the soap off it when he suddenly knelt so that she almost tumbled down.

She felt the palm of this hand softly caressing her belly just above her pants.

It came as a shock to her when she heard him saying: 'Harry? What's this?"

Harry couldn't say a word. She had the idea that her whole world had fallen apart.

"Did you have an operation or what?" Puzzled he looked up at her, but seeing the astounded look on her face, he started to worry.

"Harry? I asked you something!"

But the only thing Harry came up with was: "I had no intention that you should find it out this way"

"Find out what? Tell me. It's not a small scar and not a recent one either I can see that. Harry! What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not in here"

Dempsey saw the panic was back in Harry's eyes, but this was another short of panic as that he had seen in them before.

He narrowed his eyes. Finally it became very clear to him.

"This has something to do with that file about you. Doesn't it?"

"How long do you know it already?"

"Know what?"

"Don't pretend, you know nothing Dempsey!"

"I have no idea where you're talking about. Yeah I accidentally came across your file weeks ago. When I searched for another file and I discovered a file with your name on it. And yes I read it. I know about the shooting you were involved in. But that's all"

"I don't believe you"

"Damned Harry. I told you already that I'm sorry that I hid it for you that I'm working for SI10 again, but that I did it for your own health"

"Did it then never crossed your mind that perhaps what I have to hide, I did that with a reason as well?"

"You did?"

They were still standing together in the shower. The water turned cold but they both seemed not to notice it.

"I did. It was not that I didn't want it to tell you, but I couldn't. I'll tell you everything, I promise you. But I can't do it in here"

After turning the water off, he handed Harry a towel to dry herself while she was sitting on the toilet again.

"I'll get your pyjamas" he said when he had dried himself as fast as he could.

"Thanks" she saw him picking up her clothes and carrying them together with his own to the bedroom. Minutes later he was back with some dry underwear and her pyjamas.

Harry saw him leaving. Knowing that tonight would be the moment of truth. Within an hour or so she should know if James still wanted to be with her or if he would be so mad at her that he never wanted to see her again. She only hoped that he would understand her reasons that she had hidden it for such a long time for him. And why she had asked all her friends not to talk about it against him till she would be ready for it herself.


	32. Chapter 32

Harry walked into the bedroom and avoided looking at James who laid on the bed again. He had switched beds Harry realised when she set down on the left side of the double bed putting her stick on the far end of it on the sheet.

"What time is it?" she asked, without turning around to look at him.

"Let me see" he stretched his arm out to pick up the alarm clock.

"Five minutes past 10" and he put the clock back: "We don't have to set it. We can sleep as long as we wish tomorrow morning" he added with some relief.

"Yeah" Harry answered with her mind somewhere else. She still didn't made any preparations at all to lay down next to him.

Dempsey frowned his eyebrows. Was she still afraid to share a bed with him? Was that it? Or had she second thoughts about the fact that she had promised him to tell where that scar on her belly came from?

"Harry?" Dempsey pushed himself up to a sitting position behind her. He laid his hand on her back and gently started to caressing it from her neck to her bottom and back. Harry shivered when she felt him touching her. He squeezed her left shoulder and whispered into her left ear.

"Sweetheart. You're so tensed up since we arrived here this morning. Let it go. Just tell me what happened. It can't be that bad"

Slowly Harry turned around. She hadn't realised that he was so near. She could almost feel his breath on her face. She tried not to look him straight in the eyes when she bit her lip and begged him: "Will you please hold me?"

It sounded so desperate.

"Sure. Come here" He laid down on the bed and rolled her over so that she could lay on her left side, developed her with his arms and rested with her head on his chest.

"Tell me" he encouraged her when she still didn't say a word only slipped her right arm over his and her fingers punched his arm.

"I don't know where to start" he heard her saying.

"At the beginning"

"But...I don't know exactly anymore when it all started"

"Then just tell me where you think it began"

Harry fell silent again as if she had to think about that.

"Okay. Do...Do you remember that day when we heard that you had to go back to New York for at least three months before you, hopefully, could return?"

"That was the worst day of my life"

"Me too. Not only because of that but.....I got a morning off a couple of days earlier do you remember that too?"

"A part of it" Dempsey tried hard to see if he could remember what she had said _why_ she wouldn't be in, but he had no idea anymore.

"I never mentioned it to you, but I wasn't feeling quite well for weeks"

"You didn't?" Dempsey asked worried now: "What was wrong? And why you didn't tell me?"

"I wanted to have proof myself first"

"Proof? About what? About what Harry?"

"About something I suspected but didn't know for sure. We never really discussed it before. You once or twice said that you wanted them, but you always made it very clear to me that that was something for the far future so..."

"Wanted what?" he asked when she stopped suddenly.

"You have no idea where I'm talking about, do you?"

"No"

Harry took a deep breath. Why was it so easy for him to understand her without words when it had something to do with a case they were both working on in the past, but when it was related to their personal life, he really had no clue. Then she always had to spell it out to him.

"That morning I went to the doctor James. He affirmed what I suspected. I wanted it to tell you please believe me, I honestly wanted to do it, I felt so happy inside when I came back from the doctor's office, but after that message, I couldn't do it anymore. You were so devastated that you had to leave. When you flew back to New York 2 weeks later I was..."

Harry carefully rolled a little more over to James so she good look at him.

"I was more then 2 months pregnant when you left me"

She waited on a reaction from him. First it was as if he hadn't heard her. Then it seemed or slowly the words started to sink in. He shook his head in total disbelief, looked her straight in the eyes or he was searching for a confirmation in them about what he had just heard. And then a little smile crept over his face turning into a big smile.

"Do you mean to say that I became a father?"

"Yes, but...."

But James interrupted her: "But why? Why did you never tell me that before? You should have told me that when I was still in London! I should have done everything to stay with you. You know that. And where is our child now? I have never seen it around during the last 9 weeks. Oh Harry....."

When he looked down at the woman who was still lying in his arm and he wanted to kiss her to tell her how happy he was, he realised that Harry seemed not to be so happy at all. A tear was rolling down her cheek followed by another one.

James hold her even more tightly now. He had no idea why she could be so sad about something so wonderful. Had she had so much fear that he wouldn't like it to become a father? Her family and friends seemed to know everything. Had they also been afraid for his reaction? Was that the reason that none of them had wanted to tell him anything since he came back? Or was there more? Was it not only this pregnancy? Dempsey really started to worry when he saw that Harry's tears didn't stop. He tried to comfort her by stroking her hair, her back, whispering to her that he understood her reasons for hiding it from him, but it didn't help.

"Sweetheart. Calm down"

But all she did, was crying.

"I was so afraid" she said, between even more sobs.

"Why? I'm happy, you never had to be worried about that"

"There's no reason at all to be happy!"

What? Dempsey thought that he didn't hear it right.

"What's the matter? Harry? Please. Tell me the rest of it. Because there's more. Isn't there?"

"Yes"

Still sobbing, she clenched even more against him who held her so tightly now that she could hardly breath.

"You read about the shooting?"

"Yes, I told you that already"

"Not everything about the shooting stands in the file. On my request, Spikings left some details out of it"

That was something new to Dempsey's ears. Spikings always wanted reports with all the details about a case in it. Nothing had to be left out if it was necessarily for the case.

"Tell me what happened"

"I was 3 months pregnant at that time. I didn't tell it Spikings, because my doctor said that I would be able to do work on the streets till I was 4 months pregnant and working there was the only way I could cope with you not having around. I felt so lonely. I missed you so much and every day I hoped again that you would phone me, but it never happened"

"Oh sweetheart. I wished I had known that"

"I know that now, but then..... I thought you had moved on with your life, that there was no place in it for me anymore. Well, that particular day, Chas and I were teamed up together. It seemed to be a normal case. Nothing special. But suddenly it all went wrong. Two people started an argument in front of our car. People who had nothing to do with the whole case but they were yelling at each other and one of them had a knife. Chas stepped out of the car and tried to step between the two men and to persuade them to leave. Without any luck. Now they were turning their anger on him. To help him, I stepped out of the car as well. Before I realised it, the other man pointed a gun on me and shot. Both men run away. I was hit in my arm and I was bleeding like hell. On that point I had no idea what happened. I felt on the ground on my belly and my head Chas told me later. I must have screamed on that moment something like: 'my baby' but I don't remember. They rushed me to the hospital. Chas felt so guilty. He didn't know I was pregnant. It wasn't his fault. I only know, that I didn't react fast enough. You were so right when you said to me that work and emotions don't go together. My mind wasn't on the job, my mind was on you!"

"And?" Dempsey was afraid to ask, but had to know.

"And what?"

"What happened? What about the baby? Our baby?" he asked nervously.

"I was unconscious when I entered the hospital. I had lost a lot of blood. I'm vaguely aware of people who went in and out my room, but I have no idea who they were. They talked to me, I heard them, but couldn't say a word back"

"How long have you been there?" Dempsey felt sick only by the idea that Harry had been shot and that he even didn't know about it!

"Weeks" Harry whispered softly.

"Did they had to operate you ?" Three months, three months was too young for a baby to survive!

"Not then"

"When then? Harry, talk to me. You came so far already. I'd really like to know the rest"

"I will, but can you get me a glass of water first?"

"Sure" Dempsey freed his arms from around Harry and jumped out of the bed. She heard him filling a glass with water in the kitchen. He had always been able to read her as a book in the past when she had made some lousy excuse for something and she knew, he had seen through her now as well, but she needed some time to prepare herself for the even harder part of the story that she had to tell him.


	33. Chapter 33

In the meantime, Dempsey stood in the kitchen with his hands clinched on the sink. He still couldn't cope entirely with the things he had just heard. When he had, accidentally, shot that young boy weeks ago, he had been relieved that first moment that he hadn't had kids of his own to worry about and now....it seemed that he became a father already, without knowing it.

Desperate to hear more from what Harry had to say, he rushed back to the bedroom with the glass of water in his hand.

"Here" he said pushing the glass into her hands.

"Thanks" was all Harry answered and took a sip at her glass while Dempsey climbed back into the bed and made himself comfortable this time sitting against the head of the bed.

"Harry. I don't want to rush you, but I really like to hear more" he tried to encourage her when she turned the glass round and round in her hands, but didn't say a word: "What happened at the hospital?"

"They first stopped the bleeding. The bullet went trough my arm so they didn't have to remove it. I was still unconsciousness when they made an ultra sound of the baby" Harry felt silence again. She shivered as if she wanted to block the memory of it. "They told me the news when I recovered some days later"

Harry closed her eyes. Not able to face Dempsey.

"I felt so lonely, I wished so badly that you were there at my side"

"Sweetheart I wished I was. But what did they say?" Dempsey reached out his hand to Harry and she crept between his legs so she could lean against him and he could envelope her with his arms.

"Harry? Did they tell you that you lost the baby?" He could only think on that possibility right now.

"Not exactly. Will you please let me finish and start asking questions afterwards?"

"Okay. If you want to" Dempsey wasn't agreed with that, but if she preferred it and it would be easier for her, he would do his best to listen first and to ask questions later.

At the beginning, Harry's voice was so soft that Dempsey was hardly be able to hear her, but he didn't wanted to interrupt her. When the story continued, her voice became stronger as if, finally sharing everything with him, relieved her.

"I was alone in the room when a doctor came to see me. It even didn't cross his mind to ask someone of my family or friends to be present there when he told me the news. The only thing he asked me over and over again where the father of the baby was. I didn't tell him, I couldn't tell him so I said: 'He left me'"

Harry felt Dempsey behind her stiffen, developing her even more in his arms and trying hard not to comment on what she had just said.

"I'm sorry. I understand that you don't like to hear that, but for me it was the only way to survive. The more I said it, the more I started to believe it myself. When the doctor came in I immediately saw on his face that there was something wrong. I remember asking him: did I lose the baby and that he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. And that he said then: 'We don't know"

At that moment Dempsey totally forgot his promise he made to her and he exasperated: "I don't believe this. What kind of a doctor is that?"

"James, please..." Harry put her hands on his arms. She had already heard on Dempsey's voice that he started to get real angry. She couldn't blame him. She had been angry too when the doctor had said that to her.

"I reacted the same, but he made it very clear to me that on the ultra sound they couldn't see anything that was wrong but that they weren't sure about it for 100%, because........"

On this moment Harry turned around in Dempsey's arms, he didn't say a word this time, only looked at her when she lifted her left hand up to his face and gently touched it.

"They suspected that I was pregnant with more then one baby. Probably twins"

"What?" Dempsey took Harry's left hand in his and he whispered: "A twin?"

"Yes a twin. They had seen two babies but because one of them had been hidden behind the other, they didn't know it for sure and they also couldn't say or the other was still alive or not"

"I don't believe it. I am a father of two!" He wrapped Harry even harder against him and kissed her. But at the same moment he did that, she pushed him away.

"I'm not finished yet" The sad look on her face was back and he saw again a tear running down over her cheek. Followed by another one. And that made him started to get worried again. She still hadn't say or they had had a girl, a boy or even two girls or two boys, he realised.

"After 6 weeks I was released from the hospital. Spikings visited me from time to time during my stay there and also did Chas and Alice. I didn't tell anyone that I probably expected two babies. Only Angela and Mike knew about it, but they promised not to tell. I went back to the SI10 because Spikings had offered me to do some deskwork when I would return" a little smile crept over her face while saying that.

"So we both did deskwork most of the time. Ironical isn't it?" Dempsey only nodded his head. Too afraid to interrupt her.

"Well, anyway. I was only one week at home and laid in bed when I got a terrible pain in my stomach. First I thought when I take it easy, it would go away, but it didn't. It even started to get worse. I cried and screamed, but nobody heard me. I even yelled your name out in despair. I was so mad at you, knowing at the same time that you couldn't do anything about it. But I blamed you that I got in that position in the first place and that you had to leave me just when I needed you the most. That if I wasn't be pregnant I wouldn't had to go through this all. It wasn't fair, I know that, but I was so devastated. I really had no idea anymore what to do. And then of a sudden, I felt something. I stumbled to the bathroom and set down on the toilet. It was there that I realised I was bleeding. Blood was streaming down my legs to the ground. I guess I thought on that moment that that was it. That I would lose my....our babies" Harry corrected herself.

She saw Dempsey's eyes narrowed for a split second of time. He felt so guilty that she had go through this all on her own. That he hadn't been there to help her.

"What did you do?" he whispered: "Did someone find you or what?"

"When I was sitting in the bathroom, I heard the phone ringing. It went over and over again and finally it stopped. I tried to stumble back to the bedroom but halfway I collapsed. The next thing I know, is that I woke up again in the hospital and that Spikings was sitting next to my bed. It had been him who tried to phone me and when I didn't answer, he had send a police car to my house to check on me. He told me, that they had been able to stop the bleeding, but that I had to stay in the hospital during the rest of the pregnancy"

Dempsey became speechless in the meantime. Now he understood more and more why everybody assured him over and over again these last 9 weeks that Harry had been through enough already. That she hadn't deserved the position in which she was currently, but who did?

"That must have been very hard for you"

"It was, but I wanted to do everything to save our babies. I laid down for weeks. Only been able to look at the ceiling and hardly move" and with a weak smile she added: "You almost think: I got used to it" but of the intonation in her voice, he knew that this time had been totally different from last time.

"Why did Spikings never try to contact me at the NYPD when this all happened?" Dempsey hadn't thought about it earlier, but now it suddenly crossed his mind: "For him it must have been so easy to phone them and to tell them what happened!"

Harry avoided Dempsey's gaze so he took her chin into his hand: "Harry? Why? Harry, look at me!"

"Because...." a little sheepish she wanted to answer him when he interrupted her.

"Because you didn't tell him either that I was the father. Am I right?"

"Yes" Dempsey could hardly hear her say it. She found it very embarrassing to admit: "I never told him back then who the father of the babies was, but I guess he suspected it all the time"

"For god's sake Harry. We were together as a couple when I went back to New York!"

"Yes we were, but you probably forget, that nobody was supposed to know about our relationship at work! We wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible. What difference would it have made then to tell everybody that you were the father when I wouldn't ever see you again?" Harry started to get angry now as well.

"I would have flown back directly if I had known it!"

"Yeah, that's easy to say now. You had still to testify against Coltrane at that time."

"What has that suppose to do with this all?"

"That stupid contract on your head"

"Yeah but that contract was the reason that I came to London in the first place!"

They were yelling at each other now.

"You knew that I also had to testify against Coltrane during the 3 months that they would consider a permanent job for me here in London. I have told you that"

"Oh is that the main reason that you have done deskwork most of the time Dempsey?" she looked at him or she wanted to make him admit it.

"I told you already what my reason was to do deskwork. I had no idea if Coltrane still had men running around in New York who would be glad to kill me. As long as I behaved myself and didn't take too many risks and would be able to survive, I could go back to London as soon as Coltrane's trial would be over and they had signed the papers for my permanent job here, which I indeed got after the 3 months I worked again for the NYPD!"

"You did?" Harry asked astound.

"Yes. How do I otherwise got my job at SI10 back so soon after I showed up here 9 weeks ago?"

"I don't know" Harry admitted.

"You see, there wasn't any reason at all to tell almost nobody that I was the father of your babies which bring us back to the main issue here......your pregnancy!"


	34. Chapter 34

_One ne__w chapter for today and another, special, one will follow tomorrow!_

_Mer__ry Christmas to all my readers._

My pregnancy?" Harry asked surprised or she had totally forgotten where they had talked about earlier.

"Yes, your pregnancy! We were talking about the baby's, not about some stupid contract they put on my head. Remember?" Dempsey didn't know for sure or Harry indeed didn't remember it or that she used that contract thing just as an excuse to distract herself.

"You said, that you stayed at the hospital till the end of the pregnancy. When was that?"

Harry stretched her legs a little bit. They got still stiff after awhile lying in the same position.

"I was sick during the whole pregnancy. Every morning I had to throw up. Didn't matter what I ate, it came out almost immediately. Of course they gave me something for it, but without any luck. I lost more and more weight. I think, you never would have said that I was beautiful if you had seen me back then" Harry tried to sound it like a joke.

"That sounds very serious to me. I mean, the losing way part"

"It was" she said sadly: "I was 7 months pregnant when they made another ultra sound. I laid down when the doctor put some gel on my stomach. This time Angela was with me. I guess, I punched her arm black and blue. I was so scared"

Thank god, Dempsey thought, at least this time she didn't had to go through it alone!

Harry took Dempsey's hand in hers and wriggled her fingers through his. Playing with one of them she continued.

"During the making of the whole ultra sound, the doctor explained things to me. Oh James it was so wonderful to see the arms and legs of our babies. He also showed me their hearts. You could see them beating. It was so clearly there were two of them! I was so happy. I have a photo of them at that time, will show it to you tomorrow"

She squeezed his hand.

"I thought I was in seventh heaven"

"I can imagine that. Can hardly wait to see it. Could the doctor also see if it were males, females or both even of them?" Dempsey asked with some tension in his voice.

"Not really. He suspected something, but I decided that I didn't want to hear it"

"Why not?" Dempsey was really surprised about that answer: "If I had been there, I'm sure I would have wanted it to know!"

"Yeah, and if the doctor hadn't told you, you would have pushed the man against the wall to force him to tell" Harry put her hand up to defend herself: "I know you!"

A little guilty Dempsey avoided to look at Harry.

"He was not a criminal! I should have threatened him nice!"

"You forget, you had a whole other opinion about him earlier" she reminded him.

"That's true. But this was different"

"Yeah of course" Harry couldn't hold the little smile back that crept over her face.

"Well, anyway. The doctor explained to me that it would be to risky for me and the babies, after losing so much weight, to give birth on the twins on a normal way. So he suggested that I should have a caesarean in two days time. I remembered that I started to cry. I wanted so badly to give birth on our twins in a normal way. But that wasn't possible so I had to accept that. It was Angela who convinced me to do it. She talked to me for hours. So I finally gave in"

Dempsey squeezed Harry's hand a little faster.

"Can you give me that please?" Harry pointed on the glass of water: "I need another sip before I continue"

"Sure" he handed the glass over to her and putting it back on the bedside table after taking a sip of it himself.

"To prepare myself for it, I went to the ER the next morning to see how it looked like in there. I had never been there in my life and I hope that I would never have to go into it again. The nurses were very friendly there, it has nothing to do with them, but I didn't like it there at all. They explained everything to me what I could expect. The doctor had already asked me if I wanted a total anaesthetic. I thought it would be better to have one. You know...." she bit her lip: "I was afraid that otherwise maybe I could hear or see what happened during the caesarean. Stupid isn't it?"

"Not really. I think, it would have been different if I had been there as well. Wouldn't it?"

Harry nodded her head.

"I tried not to think too much on the fact that you wouldn't be there with me during the caesarean, but I couldn't sleep at all that night. I prayed over and over again that everything goes fine and that hopefully one day I would be able to show you our baby's"

Dempsey saw Harry shiver. Not for the first time that night and he was afraid not for the last time either. He freed his hand out of hers and put his arms around her again. She allowed him to do that, but when his hand gently wanted to push her head against his chest, she refused.

"No!" she said firmly: "Please James, don't do that. I won't have a clear head which I won't have if you are doing that. Particular this part is so very hard for me!"

"Alright. I understand" but deep down inside he didn't understand it at all. It seemed or she was pushing him away and that he would never be able to reach her again. Or she had deal with it for such a long time on her own, that she wouldn't permitted anybody anymore in her space to share it with her.


	35. Chapter 35

Harry set on the bed with her arms around her knees. She felt Dempsey's arms around her holding her tight. One of his hands was stroking her very gently and she could feel him breathing against the back of her head.

She knew that he needed her as much as she needed him when she had finished her story. A quick look on the alarm clock told her that it had been 5 minutes after midnight in the meantime. She had never gone to bed so late lately. But stopping now wouldn't be an option anymore. That would make him only very angry. Probably when she had finished her story, both of them wouldn't sleep at all anymore that night, but they had a whole day tomorrow together to catch up with some sleep.

Considering this all, Harry laid her head on her knees. It seemed if she was living in the past with holding back everything that had happened during that day when she had had her caesarean.

"They picked me up to go to the operating room very early in the morning, I guess, I was the first patient of that day. Angela was there with me till the moment I went inside. She got no permission to go further with me. Only family or the father. The nurses prepared me for what has to come. I felt so lonely"

She heard Dempsey something whispering behind her, but she didn't hear what he was saying. It was easier for her just to pretend he wasn't there.

"The anaesthetist gave me an anaesthetic and after that I don't know anything anymore. A nurse was checking something on me when I woke up. I felt so dizzy, I had no idea first where I was or even what had happened to me. I heard someone talking to me. It was Angela. I wanted to ask if everything was okay with the babies, but I couldn't. I felt asleep almost immediately again. I was so exhausted. When I woke up for a second time I got the impression that a train had hit me. I was in so much pain"

Pain. A lot of pain. That was indeed what she remembered the most of these first few moments being awake again. They had told her that she could expect it, but so much? And where were her babies? These were the only thoughts that had crossed her mind. There had been no sign of them.

"I yelled and finally a nurse showed up saying that I needed to be quiet, that there were more patients. I didn't care, I only wanted to know where my...our babies were. I saw her opening a file and then she just walk away! Without saying another word to me. I was so worried. I was sure that something terrible had happened and that they wouldn't tell it. I started to scream again, much louder this time. Something I believe of: "Where are they? Where are my children?' and I repeated that over and over again"

When Harry said that, she felt Dempsey behind her moving. A little wondered she turned around to look at him.

"I don't believe this. What are you doing?" she asked when she saw him climbing out off the bed.

"What does it look like?"

"I'm not finished yet!"

"No I know, but if you're continuing the way as you're doing now, it will take god knows how many more hours till you have finally told me the whole story!"

"I thought you would like to hear every detail of it?" Harry answered with a painful look on her face.

"The details can wait Harry. Don't you understand that the only thing I'm interested in at the moment is if I became the father of a boy, a girl or what ever?"

"This is not fair" Harry exasperated desperately: "Don't do this to me! Why don't you let me tell you the story in the way it would be the best? For both of us!"

"No. I can't stand it anymore. I have to listen over and over again to how lonely you have felt time after time. It has been practically your own fault Harry. When you had been a little more honest to everyone, I would have been there with you all the time!" he screamed at her, not caring anymore how much he probably hurt her with his words or not.

"You bastard!" she answered him from the deepest of her heart.

Dempsey was already halfway the bedroom when she yelled after him.

"You want so desperately to hear it? Well, let me tell you the short version than as you obvious are not interested in the rest......I gave birth on a boy and a girl. They both laid in an incubator for weeks. Our daughter's name is _Sophia,_ she is almost 2 years old now. Our son fought for his life, but he was the weakest. He couldn't win the battle and died after 2 weeks of living. I named him _James_, yes after you! Don't let me regret that, because his father isn't so wonderful as I always thought he would be!"


	36. Chapter 36

The words Harry had said to him, hit Dempsey hard. Very hard. He turned around. Not knowing directly what to say. He just stood there glued to the ground and saw Harry still sitting on the bed with her arms around her knees cuddled up like a baby. She was rocking or she wanted to comfort herself by doing it. She looked so small, so vulnerable. She was right, he was a bastard. She had been through so much by her own and the only think he could come up with, was to make it even worse for her. She had been so brave. He doubted if he had been able to cope with everything the same way as she had done.

"You know something......" he heard her saying: "I couldn't even forget you, if I wanted, because Sophia reminds me day after day on you. She's a little copy of you"

Dempsey got the feeling as if he had a lump in his throat. He could hardly breathe anymore. His daughter looked like him! And suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fall into place. That photo that Chas had hidden in his drawer on which Harry was standing with a little girl. That he hadn't seen it before! He felt so stupid. The similarity, the same face, the same hair colour, the same eyes. That was Sophia. That was his daughter!

When Harry slightly turned her head, she saw Dempsey standing in the middle of the bedroom with his hands in his pockets and at the look on his face, she knew that he finally realised who that little girl on the photo next to her was.

"Who gave you that photo?" Harry asked with a small voice.

"Chas" he answered with a small voice as well.

"How?"

"I got that photo by accident the first day I got back to the SI10. Harry, listen. I'm so sorry, I really am. I never thought that we have been able to create something so beautiful as Sophia"

Harry gave him a weak smile.

"You are so right. I'm a bastard. I should have let you tell the whole story. The only excuse I can give you about that is, that I got a little impatient. I realise that now. And that you named our son after me.....You have no idea how thrilled I'm with that. I hope...I hope he looked like his beautiful mother?" Dempsey added, hoping that this time he had said the right words.

"He did" was all Harry said trying hard now not to cry again in front of him. But after biting her lip a few times and trying hard to hold her composure, she failed miserably. And before she knew it, she was sobbing again. But this time the sobbing almost pierce him through. Now that she had finally told him what she had been hidden for him for such a long time she felt a big relief inside. But also realising how hard it must be for him that he would never been able to see his son.

Seeing Harry sobbing uncontrollably now made Dempsey return and climb back into the bed. For him it didn't matter anymore, if she should try to push him away. He wouldn't let her do that. She had been right. She needed him as much as he needed her. When Harry felt this time Dempsey's protective and strong arms around her, she cried as she had never done before. She had been so strong outside when little James died. Amazed everyone. Angela had once said to her that she didn't understand how she could be so calm, showing hardly no emotion at all about what had happened. But Harry knew back then already that there would be only one person with which she could share her feelings of deep grief: James Dempsey the father of her children. And now finally that moment had come, she couldn't control herself anymore. She clung to him as she would never let him go again. Dempsey's right hand was stroking her hair while his left hand laid around her waist now. Then, crying out her own pain, she felt something dropping on her face. It were Dempsey's silent tears. She squeezed his hand. They didn't say a word, they were only sitting there on the bed together comforting and supporting each other. Sometime later Harry switched position and made herself comfortable lying across him. She still felt the security of his arms around her when she slowly dozed away. From far away she heard him whispering: "Try to get some sleep Princess, tomorrow will be another day".

With Harry lying peacefully and finally fast asleep in his arms, Dempsey had time to start things over. There were so many questions he wanted to ask. If Harry had taken photos of his son, where his daughter had been during Harry's stay in the hospital and now in the rehabilitation centre. Tomorrow he hoped to get some answers on all these, so far, unspoken questions.

*****

Darkness went, the sun rose but the two of them didn't noticed it. They slept till around 10:00 a.m. It was Harry who woke up first. She got used to the fact to stand up around 8:00 every day now, so she couldn't believe her eyes when she saw on her watch that it was 2 hours later already. She yawned and turned her head. Somewhere during the night she must have slipped out of Dempsey's arms, because she found herself lying on her left side facing Dempsey who was lying in the bed next to her in his usual position with his right arm covert under the pillow.

Harry yawned and tried to stretch her legs. She groaned when she found her right leg stiffen and her right foot hurting like hell.

"What's the matter?" she heard Dempsey say with great concern in his voice.

"Nothing to worried about" she comfort him: "I think, you have to get used to the fact that I'll do that much often in the future. Especially when I wake up. It looks like then of all my muscles in my right leg are protesting. If they have to find there correct place first before they will start doing anything at all"

Harry rolled over to lie on her back feeling Dempsey still watching.

"What now?" she asked when he obvious had no intention to stop staring at her.

"I'm still asking myself if you are indeed lying here next to me in bed. Or that I'm perhaps dreaming as I had so many dreams about this in the past"

Harry smiled: "No you're not dreaming. I'm real"

"Just wanted to check"

"You idiot!"

"Well, good morning then" he bent over to give her a kiss on her cheek: "Are you hungry?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I am" she answered hearing her stomach rumbling at the same time.

"Breakfast is on its way" Dempsey swept his legs out of the bed and wanted to walk away to the kitchen.

"Wait a minute" he stopped when he heard Harry saying behind him: "What kind of breakfast do you have in mind?"

"The usual"

"Oh, I was afraid already that you would say that. That means an American one with a hamburger or something"

"Harry!" Dempsey tried not to look hurt: "When I say breakfast, I mean breakfast"

"Okay. Surprise me then"

"You don't have to do anything. I'll be back before you miss me"

"Who said, I'll miss you?"

They looked at each other and started both to laugh at the same time. It was so good to be back communicating on a normal level. They both enjoyed it tremendously, but wouldn't admit it.

"Just make yourself comfortable in here"

Harry took some pillows and made herself indeed comfortable with sitting against the head of the bed waiting impatiently till Dempsey would return. She was humming to herself not noticing what kind of song she had chosen till she saw Dempsey standing in the doorway.

"What?" Harry asked.

"That song" he answered with an odd expression on his face.

"Which song?"

"That song you were humming"

"What do you mean with 'that song you were humming'?" why was it such a big issue for him which song she was humming?

"Yes, why particular that one?"

"Dempsey! I really have no idea where you're talking about. I was just humming something. Does it bother you that I'm humming?"

"No, but.....you don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?" Harry got a little irritated now. One moment everything was fine between them and the next moment they had another argument. This time about something stupid as a song!

"I found a music cassette in your bookcase with that song you are humming on it"

"So?"

"You don't remember the lyrics of it?"

"Dempsey! Can you be a little more specific? I can't even remember that I have a music cassette with that song on it and no I don't have a clue of the lyrics!"

"But I'm sure, that song must have mean something to you otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't have hidden it in your bookcase with a lot of dust on it"

This was unbelievable.

"James? I want breakfast, not a discussion about lyrics of a song!" Harry tried, but failed miserably because Dempsey didn't move.

"Okay. Give me the lyrics so I can hopefully have my breakfast then" Harry gave in, still not 100% sure of what she could expect from him to eat for breakfast.

With a soft voice Dempsey started to whisper the words of the song, he knew so well because he had played it so often he could even dream the words with closed eyes. He couldn't believe that Harry had totally blocked the lyrics of it out of her memory.

_I've been waiting such a long time,  
looking out for you  
But you're not here  
What's another year?_

I've been waking such a long time,  
reaching out for you  
But you're not near  
What's another year?

What's another year  
For someone who's lost everything that he owns?  
What's another year  
For someone who's getting used to being alone?

I've been praying such a long time  
It's the only way to hide the fear  
What's another year?

Dempsey noticed the further he came up with the lyrics the more Harry's expression on her face changed. From disbelief, than pain to finally despair and when he was halfway the lyrics she put her head in her hands and yelled: "Stop it!"

"When I played that song Harry, it was very hard for me to imagine why it obvious had had such a big impact on you. But it tells everything how you felt for such a long time, doesn't it?"

Harry only nodded her head. She couldn't say a word.

"I understand that now. But you don't have to feel like that anymore sweetheart. You didn't lose _everything_ that you own. I'm here and I don't have any intention to leave you again. At least not before I have met my beautiful daughter. And afterwards...." he ended with a joke.

"I know" She whispered softly not been able to look at him.

"Okay then. Up to breakfast!" Dempsey declared, disappearing for a second time that morning in the direction of the kitchen.


	37. Chapter 37

10 minutes later Dempsey was back. Carrying a tray with coffee and two plates with warm toast.

"You did some shopping?" Harry asked amazed while he put the tray on the bed and climbed back in.

"No not really. All the credit for it go to Angela"

Harry took a bite of the toast and a sip of the coffee. They tasted delicious. Within no time she had eaten two slices of toast, but then she realised that Dempsey hardly touched his.

"Are you not hungry?"

"I am"

"Well, why don't you eat then?"

She saw him picking up one of the toast slices, but putting it down almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked putting her own toast back on her plate as well.

"Harry, I can't get it out of my mind"

"What do you mean?"

"The death of Little James" he answered taking a sip of the coffee trying to clear the lump in his throat with it: "I thought during most of the night on him"

"Is there something you like to know about him?"

"Did you take photos of the little guy?" he asked a little hesitated if he was afraid to ask.

"I did. I'll show them to you later. Do you have more questions?"

"Did....did he suffer much?"

"We'll never know that for sure, but I don't think so. He fought for his life to stay with me....us, but I comfort myself with the thoughts that this was the best for him"

"I wished I was that far already"

Harry could imagine that. But it had cost her more then a year to overcome Little James' death, she couldn't expect that he would accept it in less than 9 hours!

"Harry?" he turned to her now placing the tray a little further away on the bed. He was nervous, Harry saw it in his eyes when his met hers.

She put her hand over his and wriggled her fingers and intertwined them. Looking down on their two hands, she saw him taking a deep breath. If he needed some courage for what he wanted to ask or to tell her next.

"There's something that I need to tell you" he started squeezing her hand but not looking at her: "You have been so honest with me after you have hidden this all for me for such a long time. It's.....It's time that I'll be honest with you too"

"What do you mean?" Harry's fear returned almost immediately. What had he been hidden for her? Was there indeed something to be worried about after all? Right now when she thought they had had the worst behind them?

"Harry?" Dempsey said again biting his lip and taking a deep breath for a second time: "Do you remember that day when they transported you to the rehabilitation centre and you said to me that I looked awful?"

"Yeah, I remember that. It seemed to me then that you didn't sleep at all that night"

"You were right. I didn't"

Oh no, Harry thought, I was right. I knew it. He had been out to party the whole night but was to afraid to tell me back then. But why would he telling me that now? After all these weeks? She had it almost forgotten, why was he so desperate to bring it up again?

"You found out already that I'm back at SI10. It was my first case that evening since my return. Dave and I had to observe some dealers. Spikings had warned me that he wanted answers and not dead bodies, but......"

When he stopped talking, Harry filled in what he obvious was afraid to tell her: "But you shot someone? Is that what you wanted to tell me? But why is that such a big deal? You shot so many criminals in the past. I guess this one deserved it as much as the others"

"Not exactly"

"What's that suppose to mean? James?" Harry begged him starting to get even more worried.

"You are right, I shot someone, but not a criminal. It was a 6 year old kid"

"You did what?" She exasperated, believing she didn't hear it right: "For a short moment I thought you said that you shot a child" she laughed.

"I did" he answered softly.

"But why? How?" She could feel Dempsey's hand squeezing her hand even faster.

Slowly he started to tell her the whole story and with every more word he said, the more she got amazed. But immediately another feeling came over her. Knowing that he had had no other option back then than to try to deal with it on his own, made her desperately want to comfort him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she said with a voice filled with emotion: "Then we would have had a possibility to go through it together"

"Maybe we have more in common than we thought. Talking about feelings is not one of my favourite things to do. You know that"

"I learned to ask for help during these last weeks"

"I know"

"I can teach _you_ how to do that as well"

"Maybe"

"But what about the kid? What was it anyway? A boy, a girl?"

"A boy. His name is Michael Jonathan, M.J. "

"Is? So he's still alive?"

Dempsey freed his hand out of Harry's. Now the even hardest part of the story would follow. To be honest, he had no idea how Harry would react on that.

"I told you yesterday, that I was so exhausted from time to time from running between you and the SI10. That was not exactly the whole truth. There was something else I did in between. M.J. lay in the hospital for 3 weeks. Ironical in the same hospital as you have been. Only three floors lower. They operated him immediately that first night"

"James?" Harry refused to use the kids nickname: "What happened to Michael later? Tell me!"

"I spent as much as time as I could with him. He's a terrific little guy. We went to the park, to the swimming pool together and it was me who brought him to school on his first day. He had never seen the inside of a school before in his entire life Harry. When he came out of the hospital, they decided to put him in an orphanage, because they had no idea who his parents are. Of course I visit him there as well but every time I'm there, M.J. is crying and saying to me how he hates it there and that he wants to go home with me. My heart breaks when I have to observe over and over again how much that little kid suffers. It's not fair. He deserves a better life!"

"What do you have in mind?" Harry asked softly knowing, that he had something in mind already.

"Harry sweetheart. I want to ask you something" He was facing her now and carefully choose the next words he wanted to say to her: "I understand that it would be very hard for you especially now, but I'm involved with that kid's life. If you like it or not, I can't turn my head in another direction and pretend he doesn't exist. I want you to consider something. You don't have to say yes or no immediately, just think about it. What I wanted to suggest is: we both agreed that we wanted to go to Winfield Hall together next weekend. What if we take both Sophia and M.J. with us there? Winfield Hall seems to me a perfect place where M.J. can take in some fresh air and where he can play and be what he is, just a kid. That he doesn't have to think at the orphanage for at least two days and a place where you can get to know him a bit and I, hopefully, get an opportunity to know my own daughter a little better"

Harry was speechless, she really had no idea how to react on the words Dempsey had just said to her. She was astounded. She could imagine that he couldn't stay away from Michael's life but taking him with them to Winfield Hall? Who did he expect her to explain that to her father? And what did he expect from her that the next step would be? She didn't even want to think about that.

Seeing the expression on Harry's face, Dempsey realised that it had been too unexpected and probably too soon for Harry to deal what he had just said to her, that the whole story about M.J. had to sink in first.

"It was a stupid idea" he admitted: "Forget it"

"James, please. I have to think about it. Give me some time. I thought: wouldn't it be better for you to meet Sophia first before we start something else?"

"Maybe you are right. Speaking about our daughter: where did you hide _her_ for the last 9 weeks?"

"She stayed with Angela and Mike. Are you angry at me now? I mean about Michael?" Harry asked a little hesitated when she saw the look on his face.

"No of course not" he said: "I get us some more toast and warm coffee" and he jumped out of bed and disappeared with the tray through the bedroom door. But to Harry it was more or he was running away from her.

Harry lay down on the bed started to think things over. Why didn't she react spontaneously to Dempsey's suggestion? Was it such a big issue to give that little kid a little happiness in his life? But at the same moment another thought crossed her mind. She had to confront and ask him first what his real intentions were for almost begging her to take the little guy with them. Only then she would be able to at least consider his suggestion and make a decision. She climbed out the bed, took her stick in her left hand and walked up to Dempsey who was still in the kitchen taking care of another breakfast for the two of them that day.


	38. Chapter 38

_Happy New Year to all of you. 2 more chapters today to start the year with!_

Dempsey stood in the kitchen fighting to control his feelings. It hadn't been his intention to bring up the subject of taking M.J. with them to Winfield Hall. It had just crossed his mind and before he realised it he had it brought it up to Harry and wasn't there a point of return anymore. He regretted it now. If he had wait a little longer, if she got used to the idea of having M.J. in their lives and he had been able to meet his own daughter in the meantime, it would have been different. Now he had probably ruined it completely and again it would be M.J. who had to pay the price for it.

He was surprised when he heard the kitchen door opening and he saw Harry standing in the doorway.

"I just wanted to check something" she said.

"About what?" Dempsey asked meanwhile putting some bread in the toaster.

"About Michael"

"What about him?"

"James? I've got to know. Would you have told me about him if Little James hadn't been death?"

"What sort of a ridiculous question is that?"

"Be honest with me: that it never crossed your mind, not even a little bit, that now Little James is dead it would be nice to have a substitute for him?'' she asked against Dempsey's back.

Dempsey clinched his fists together. Had she such a low opinion about him?

"I don't believe it. I thought you really know me better" Dempsey opened a cupboard in front of him and slammed it almost immediately.

"Can't believe that you even consider this! I would never do that!"

Bang another cupboard had undergo the same fate. Harry knew that she had to be careful now. Otherwise he would explode.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but I don't know what to think anymore. It seemed to me that it never ends! If we have to deal with something we didn't ask for over and over again. Can you imagine that?" Harry said softly.

"Yes I can"

"Can you please forgive me?"

Finally Dempsey turned around to look at her but his face was still a mask filled with pain.

"No problem" he answered her turning his back to her almost at the same time again.

Harry felt if she had tumbled down. That he almost rejected her at the same time as he had accepted her apologises hurt her deeply. She wanted to say something more, but it would be wise not to make things even worse. In spite of that she turned around and left the kitchen. Dempsey saw her leaving. He wanted to yell after her that he really understood her, but he couldn't. In spite of that he took a cup and threw it in pure frustration through the kitchen. It hit the wall and fell down in pieces. It was the only way for him to distract himself and to try to get his emotions under control.

When Harry heard a thing, she had no idea what it could be, smashing against the wall she felt guilty. She had to do something to make it up with him. To show him that she regretted what she had said to him.

"James?"

No reaction.

"James? Can you please come over here? I wanted to show you something"

Harry heard the kitchen door slammed and a voice saying: "What now?"

She tried to ignore the irritated undertone in his voice.

"Can you come here to sit down with me. I have something for you" she pattered on the sofa next to her.

But Dempsey didn't move. He was standing in the doorway of the living room and obvious still mad at her, she could feel it. Okay, then she had to play it another way.

"I asked you yesterday to get me the two diaries from the book case at home. One of them is filled with the first photos of our children. In the second I wrote everything down what happened to me during the pregnancy and what happened after I gave birth till the moment that Little James died and I got permission to take Sophia home. You don't have to look at the photos or read the story if you don't want to, but I thought that you would like to know that I'll leave the two books here with you when I return to the rehabilitation centre later today"

Harry didn't look at him when she put the two books down on the coffee table and passed by him seconds later. She could feel his breath on her face and her first impulse was to reached her arms up to his neck. To make it up with him by kissing him. But she didn't. She just passed him without saying a word and disappeared into the bedroom. Closing the door behind her. Inside the safety of the bedroom, she leaned against the door while the tears streamed silently over her face.

Then she heard footsteps in the hallway and feared that Dempsey had plans to come in to say even more things to her he deep in his heart didn't want to say, but the footsteps stopped abruptly in front of the bedroom door.

She could hear him breathing at the other side of the door. But he didn't' come in. Too afraid or even too embarrassed about the whole situation. And then she heard him whisper something.

"I wanted to let you know that it has been my own fault that I shot M.J. I didn't identify myself as being a cop. If I had done that, nothing would have happened. I made a mistake. Like you, my mind wasn't on my job, my mind was on you. I know for sure now that work and emotions don't go together, but I can't put that bullet back in my gun anymore Harry. I'm sorry"

Then the footsteps disappeared again and she heard the door of the living room slam. Wiping away her tears she stumbled to the living room after him. Leaning heavily on her stick now. All that walking up and down had taken a lot of her energy and her foot was burning like hell. How much she would love to lay down for awhile, she couldn't do that. First she had to do something else. When she opened the door of the living room, she saw James sitting on the sofa with his head resting in his hands.

"I think I made a mistake too" Harry said, hoping that he knew where she was referring at: "We really have to talk this out"

"We do?" was all she heard him saying.

"James it can't go on like this between the two of us! During this whole weekend we have had one argument after another over almost everything that you can imagine. It makes me sick"

"Oh and what do you suggest? That we split up? Is that what you want?" he said with more confidence as he felt deep down inside, thinking back on that information meeting they had had and the warning from Jane that couples sometimes fell apart when one of them had to live with having a CVA.

"Of course not! How can you say that?" Harry sat down on the sofa next to him, but at the same moment as she did that, he stood up and walked over to the window. He looked straight ahead but saw nothing because he was with his thoughts far away.

"Did you get professional help when you shot Michael?" Harry was afraid to ask, but had to know: "James? Didn't Spikings advise you to consult a psychologist?"

"He did" Dempsey admitted after realising that Harry had no intention to drop the subject.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Have you seen one?"

"Come on Harry. I'm man enough to handle my own problems"

"I don't think so. At least not this time" Harry added quickly before he could say more: "I can see how it's eaten you"

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Ridiculous? Who's the one here who's acting here like a complete idiot?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Dempsey had turned around to look at Harry if she had lost her mind.

"Is it so difficult for you for _once _to admit you're not able to handle something on your own?"

"Look who says that! I can remember that, when you saw your schedule for the upcoming week and they put "psychologist" on it, your first reaction was: no way. I'm not going"

"That's true. But they advised me to go. So I did"

"You did?" Dempsey asked in total surprise now: "You never told me that you went to her/him after all"

"Because I knew your opinion about them in the first place. That's why I thought, it would be wiser not to bring it up to you anymore. It was a she by the way"

"And? Did she help you?"

"Yes she did. She helps me a lot"

"Did you tell her....did you talk about...well you know" Dempsey asked, obviously afraid for the answer he may get.

"If you mean I talked about Sophia and Little James? Yeah, yes as a matter of fact I did"

"What?" Dempsey almost exploded now: "You talked with a total stranger about our children before you had even talked to _me_ first? I don't believe this!"

"I had to. It wasn't easy, believe me. But I had no idea how to bring it up to you. I was afraid that you wouldn't understand"

"Yeah, yeah" Dempsey really couldn't believe she had done that.

"James? Would it be such a bad idea for you to talk to her as well?"

"You forget something"

"What?"

"That I'm not a patient of your centre"

"But this has something to do with both of us! Please, will you consider it?"

"I'll think about it"

"Okay. Can we now then finally have that breakfast or even better, make it a lunch that you promised me earlier?" Harry asked with a weak smile on her face when she stood up and reached her hand out to his.


	39. Chapter 39

Dempsey put Harry's bag next to the car on the ground and stretched his hand out to her to help her out of it.

"It has been a hell of a weekend" he said trying to sound it as light as possible.

"You can say that" Harry admitted meanwhile greeting one of the other patients who had also been home for the first time in weeks.

When they went upstairs to Harry's room, John was lying on his own bed reading a magazine.

"How was your weekend?" John asked and then added after having her observed for a split second: "You looked tired"

"Well homecoming was more stressful than I thought it would be" avoiding Dempsey's look but feeling his eyes resting on her.

"Hey, is that your schedule for upcoming week?" Dempsey picked up a piece of paper from her bedside cabinet.

"You have every afternoon free the upcoming week!" he said with surprise.

"Then they filled in the rest of the day with all the other therapies I have to follow. I know them"

Harry didn't look at her schedule. She was too occupied with putting her clothes and other belongings back in her closet.

"They planned an appointment with your psychologist for Tuesday" he said a little distracted.

Harry didn't react. They didn't discuss the psychologist thing anymore the rest of the day and Harry really wanted to keep it that way. He had seen with his own eyes how late she would expected there, it was up to him now if he showed up or not. She had no intention to push him anymore in that direction.

"Harry, I have to go. I have a very early shift tomorrow morning and a lot of sleep to catch up with"

Oh no, Harry thought, how does that sounds in John's hearing ears? But Dempsey made it only worse to add: "I didn't get much sleep last night, you know that, so if I were you, I should go to bed early as well"

Harry looked at him if she wanted to kill him, but he had no idea why she all of a sudden seemed so mad at him again.

"Stop it" she advised him between greeted teeth's. She couldn't help it, but she felt her cheeks become red. She knew what John must have thought when he had said that. That the two of them had filled the whole weekend with kissing, cuddling up to each other and god knows what more. But hardly any of that had happened between them. They had spend most of the time having one argument and misunderstanding after another.

"Something I said?" Dempsey asked innocent seeing her blushing.

Harry took Dempsey's arms and pushed him outside. Standing in the corridor she hissed at him: "Will you stop it! It's so embarrassing. You make it looks like if we have spent the whole weekend in bed!"

"Oh is that it. Well if it had depended on me, we would have"

"Will you please go now. I see you tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay" Dempsey wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled her against him. Before Harry realised what he had in mind she felt his lips on hers. He kissed her briefly and let her go then almost immediately. It happened so unexpectedly that Harry had to steady herself against the wall to protect herself from tumbling down.

She felt a little shaky afterwards. One little kiss of him and it felt of the earth had moved. Was that his way of saying sorry to her for all what had happened during this weekend? She had no idea. Still totally confused and distracted she went inside her room again.

John was still lying on the bed. When he realised that Dempsey obviously didn't follow her, he laid his magazine aside.

"You can say that I have to mind with my own business, but to me it looks like you didn't have the weekend you expected"

"It's a little complicated"

"Will you talk about it?'"

"No thanks. I think I indeed go to bed. I'm very tired"

"I'm here if you need me"

"I know"

In some way it was strange, Harry thought when she was fighting in the bathroom to get her pyjamas on 9 weeks ago she hadn't know John, but the last time she got more and more the impression that he understand more of her and her feelings then Dempsey does. Weird. Was it because they had to go through the same with physiotherapy, ergo therapy and all the other things that only people with the same problems could understand, that they bonded? She could tell and try to explain Dempsey over and over again how she felt deep down inside, but it had been always the people here in the rehabilitation centre who understood her the best.

*****

The next day Harry's day was so planned up with all kind of things that she hardly had time to think on all the things that had happened during the weekend. First of all there was her first physiotherapy session of that Monday morning in which they decided that it would be another step in her recovery if she tried to walk without her stick to all the other therapies the upcoming week. Harry felt a little uncomfortable with that. She thought of herself that she was more walking like a waggling duck. But on the other hand it felt great to walk without any help. She was still afraid that someone would bump against her and that she could tumble down every second but all the others who were practicing during that morning had to overcome the same problems, so they all tried to avoid someone else to protect themselves and the other at the same time.

Later that afternoon she took her wheelchair and rolled to the garden for some fresh air. She had hoped that Dempsey should have joined her there, she especially wrote a little note for him so he knew where she was and left it on her bed, but she waited all afternoon but he didn't show up. Around 5, Harry rolled back to her room to take her medicines. When a nurse saw her rolling in, she handed Harry a note. It was from Dempsey. He had tried to phone her, but hadn't been able to reach her so he had left a message.

'Sorry Princess. I have to work all day. Sleep well'

Harry felt disappointed. She wanted to tell him what she had done today, about the progress she had made, but when she phoned the SI10 office 10 minutes later, she got Chas who told her that Dempsey wasn't in.

"Shall I tell him that you called?" he asked.

"No thanks"

"By the way: can you tell me what's wrong with Dempsey?"

"What do you mean?" Harry started to worried immediately.

"I don't know. It seems or he's miles away with his thoughts the whole day. I asked him twice about your weekend, but both times he didn't react. If he even didn't hear what I said. Something happened during the weekend? Have you been able to talk to him as you had in mind?"

"Yes, we talked. I told him about Sophia and Little James, Chas"

"I see" as if that clarified everything.

"Alice and I hope to visit you on Thursday"

"That would be great" and after saying goodbye, Harry hung up, even more worried then she already was before.

*****

That night, Harry had nightmare after nightmare. In almost every dream, James appeared in which he shot someone. One time it was a criminal from their past, another time a child, but after every dream, Harry woke up sweating like hell. She knew exactly where all these horrible dreams came from. She wanted so desperately to help him to deal with his feelings of guilt from shooting Michael, but she had no idea how she could do that. Why did he always come up with that excuse that it was so hard for him to talk about his feelings? Was it such a crime to admit sometimes that you need help? But wasn't that exactly what she had done the last 2 years as well? Pretending that she could do everything on her own? That she didn't need someone? Why accusing him for something she had done over and over again herself in the past? That wasn't fair.

After having breakfast she took the elevator to the 5th floor of the building. For the first time she tried to walk to it, as she had promised yesterday to her physiotherapist, without help of her stick or wheelchair. It wasn't easy and she had to concentrate herself on every step she made. That was the main reason that she didn't immediately realised that she wasn't alone in the corridor. At the far end was a man leaning with his back to the wall who looked at her in total amazement. Harry's face became a picture of joy when she saw who it was: James! She stared at the ground while she approached him. Happy at one side but a little nervous at the other. When she finally reached him, her eyes went slowly up from his shoes, to his trousers, his shirt, his mouth before they finally met his eyes.

"You're here" she spoke when he opened his mouth and said simultaneous: "You're walking without any help!"

They both started to laugh. Harry grabbed Dempsey's arms to steady herself. He laid his hands on her waist and looked her deep in the eyes.

"I'm so proud of you" he whispered not knowing exactly what to say to describe the miracle he had just witnessed.

"I can say the same about you" Harry really meant that. She had never expected that he showed up here. Hoped and prayed for it, yeah but that it would become reality, no.

It seemed that around the two of them nobody else existed anymore. If they were cached in a world of their own filled with electricity. Dempsey wanted so badly to kiss Harry, here and now but he was afraid that he would ruin everything that seemed to been cleared up between them at the moment. So he only looked at her and the longer he looked, the more Harry felt her cheeks becoming red.

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" she asked with a small voice.

"Like what?" Dempsey answered totally innocent.

"You know exactly what I mean"

"I have not the faintest idea"

"Dempsey" Harry begged and slapped with one hand against his chest: "You can't do that in here"

"Can't do what?"

"We are not alone"

"Well" he turned his head from the left to the right to search the corridor before his eyes lingered on hers again: "I don't see anyone else. You?"

Harry took a deep breath.

"That you didn't see anyone now wouldn't pretend that nobody can show up here every moment"

"Come on Harry. It's me. You're not standing here in the corridor with a total stranger! They know me here as well"

"Yeah, that's exactly where I'm so afraid of. Before we both know it, everybody in the whole building knows what we are doing"

"But we aren't doing anything! Or is it not permitted to have a little "chat" in this building with your man, boyfriend or whatever?"

"Dempsey!" Harry tried to warn him. Without any luck of course, she should have known that.

"If that's the case....bathrooms enough in this building to hide ourselves in next time" he added with a big grin on his face seeing that Harry was now blushing tremendously.

She just wanted to give him some response when she heard the door behind her opened.

"Harry?" she heard a voice saying.

Harry almost jumped aside. She did it so abruptly that Dempsey could only avoid her for falling by gripping her by her right arm. Harry groaned.

"I'm sorry" Dempsey started to rub her right arm now: "Did I hurt you?"

"A little bit" Harry freed her arm out of his grip, before she tried to concentrate herself on the other woman.

"Joyce, may I introduce to you James Dempsey. James, this is Joyce. My psychologist" Harry added meanwhile feeling really uncomfortable, because she felt herself still blushing.

"Aha, this is your partner? I'm glad I'm finally be able to meet you" Joyce said reaching her hand out to Dempsey and tried to ignore Harry's red cheeks at the same time. What had these two been doing in the corridor, Joyce thought. Dempsey had something else that crossed his mind: 'What the hell did Harry tell this woman during their sessions about him?' when he followed the two women inside and closing the door behind them.

"Take a seat" Joyce pointed on two chairs in front of her desk.

"Harry told me that you started as working partners. Is that correct?" Joyce began with twisting her head from one to another.

"Yeah" James admitted.

"And that you became more than that?"

"Well eh yeah"

Turning her head now to Harry and reading in the file that lay in front of her she said: "Did you get an opportunity to tell him about what happened 2 years ago?"

"I did yesterday during my first weekend at home"

"And how did that go?"

"Not exactly as I planned" Harry said, realising how that sounded.

"Meaning?" Joyce jumped in almost immediately.

"We have had one argument after another" Harry said defensibly.

"About the babies?"

"Over almost everything"

"How did that happened?" Both Dempsey and Harry remained silent.

"Did you perhaps grown apart during this last 2 years that you were separated?" Joyce this time addressed her question to Dempsey.

"Well, sometimes I think Harry became a total stranger to me" Dempsey admitted a little uncomfortable thinking back on what he had told Harry during this weekend.

"In what way? Can you be a little more specific?"

Dempsey nodded his shoulders: "I don't know. When I left for New York we were a couple, at least more than only working partners, but since I came back I sometimes have the feeling that well eh...." he started to stutter. Oh hell, this had gotten to be more intense than he had prepared himself for!


	40. Chapter 40

When Dempsey said that sometimes he got the feeling that Harry became a total stranger to him, Joyce had observed him with interest. She noticed that the man in front of him wasn't telling her the whole truth that he was still very fond of the woman sitting next to him. The glances he tried to share with Harry and the stubborn attitude of her to ignore them said enough to Joyce. Probably the two of them had no clue how to deal with the new situation they had both forced into in. Maybe it would be better to start at the beginning of their working relationship and from there to work to the present.

"Let me ask something else first then, because I see it's a little too difficult for you to formulate this question at the moment. Let's go back to the beginning of your working relationship. When you forced to team up with each other how would you describe your relationship back then?" Joyce pointed her finger on Harry who tried to let Dempsey answer that question first but failed.

"I hated him" Harry's answer came quickly.

"In what way?"

"Well our boss thought it would be a great idea to team us up together. I wanted to get out of it but he insisted on it that I stayed"

"And you?" Joyce turned her attention to Dempsey now: "What do you think about her?"

"I had never worked together on a case with a woman before. My opinion about women working for the force was always that they had no idea how the brain of a criminal functioned" when Dempsey felt silence again Joyce added her next question:

"What happened that you changed your mind?"

"Well after we had solved our first case, I already started to realise that I was maybe wrong about her. But I never admitted it to her back then"

"But she never gave you the impression that she maybe pushed it a little too far only to prove you that she was capable to do her job?'

"Ehhh" Dempsey slide a little bit on his chair from the left to the right now. He remembered that at least once Harry had pushed it too hard because of him.

"I see that I'm right about this. Can you tell me about it?"

Dempsey looked like a cat caught in the headlights. To admit that here and with Harry sitting next to him didn't make it much easier for him.

"Can we just drop that?" he asked a little agitated: "I can't imagine what that has to do with our present situation!"

"Okay" Joyce gave in, realising that what Harry had said last time about Dempsey hadn't been a complete lie. That it would be better not to make him angry otherwise he exploded.

"When you worked on a case in the past together how did that go? Did you have arguments on a regular basis then or just occasional?"

Harry widened her eyes which didn't remain unnoticed by Joyce.

"We had some disagreements yes, but I believe that's normal when you are working on a case and when you want results"

"I don't know about that. I'm not a policeman or- woman"

"It's normal" Harry said firmly not wanted to give the wrong impression here.

"And outside the job? Harry told me last time that you spent a lot time together after work?"

"We did. But I believe that didn't happen after our 5th or 6th case we had solved"

"Why not before?"

"I spent most of the first few weeks that I was in London at home. Alone. I knew nobody here, it rained almost constantly and driving at the left side of the road was a complete nightmare for me. I felt really homesick"

When Harry heard Dempsey saying that he had felt homesick during his first few weeks that he had been in London, she turned her head to him in surprise. She had never realised that! He had never said one single word about it to her. Did she indeed never see it back then or just ignored it, because she didn't want to have anything to do with him in the first place after work?

"And then it changed? How did that happen?"

Joyce saw them exchange a more warning look now before Harry answered that question.

"James and I had to play an undercover role. It was not our first one of course..." Harry started to blush again. She didn't want it, but she thought immediately back on their first case together. In which Dempsey had played the role of her husband and in which he had kissed her in front of all those people. How she had slapped him into the face more out of embarrassment of what he had done then that she didn't liked it.

"It was easier for both of us to open up to each other playing a role in an undercover situation than in real life"

"That's were the attraction outside work started?"

"I think so" Harry had no clue.

"And you James? Apart from what you thought about Harry in your working relationship, how did you think about her outside work?"

Dempsey bit his lip. What did Joyce expect that he would say to that? That he liked her, that he drove her nuts with his suggestive comments or what?

"I thought she was...is beautiful" he corrected himself immediately.

"So correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't hate her like Harry does from the beginning?''

"Not exactly no. I believe I always felt something for her" Dempsey was surprised about himself. He had never thought that he would admitted it to someone else than to Harry.

Joyce smiled.

"What happened that she obvious changed her mind about you?"

"I think it all started when one day our arguments became so unbearable that I made the decision to resign from the force. I couldn't stand it anymore it made me crazy"

"But you came back. Why was that?" Joyce turned completely now in Dempsey's direction.

Dempsey looked aside to see what Harry thought about this all. But she just looked straight ahead, pretending that she liked to hear what his answer on that would be. He couldn't say what first sprung to his lips. The truth about the car keys that he had found in his pockets and from which he had accused Harry that she had lost them. They had never discussed it afterwards. To tell here and now that he had made a mistake, no way. But what then? But before he could come up with some reasonable answer, he felt Harry's hand on his leg. He was for sure that it didn't became unnoticed for Joyce at the other side of the desk. He also realised that it was the only way for Harry to show him her support and to let him know that she knew how hard this must be for him. It was also the first time since he came back that she touched him so intimately. He felt her squeezing his knee. Oh he wished they were somewhere else at that moment and not in that room with this damned psychologist!

"Well?" Joyce became a little impatient now.

"Harry needed me and I needed her" Dempsey blurted out not exactly knowing what he was saying and being more concentrated on what Harry's hand was doing.

"I see. Did it never cross your both minds then that perhaps all these arguments, not only in the past but now as well, have something to do with all that hidden tension between the two of you?"

Both Harry and Dempsey stared at her in total disbelieve.

"Yes. Is that such a strange suggestion? You have been separated for more than 2 years. For Harry there has never been someone else than you and I don't assume that you James had returned to London when there has been a Mrs. Dempsey in the meantime. On top of this Harry told you this weekend that you already became a father from a boy, who died and a daughter and that Harry had been hidden it for you for so long. I can imagine how frustrated that must be for you"

Dempsey's hand searched Harry's now under the desk. When he found it he put hers in his. Joyce saw the expression on their faces changing from something that held the difference between total disbelieve and acceptation.

"Joyce, this is not everything, there is more" Harry said with a little voice.

"More? What do you mean by more?"

"James, he......he confessed me something as well that he had been hiding for me for weeks" Harry felt Dempsey's hand clench into a fist under the desk almost crushing her own fingers. She tried not to groan.

"James told me this weekend that he's working for SI10 again since he's been back in London"

"Oh. And what's you feelings about that?"

"I'm not pleased with it, but I know police work is his whole life, I can't force him to do something else only because I'm worried sick every time he's out on a case now"

"That's a nice thought of you, but since you're staying here Harry, I think James has more on his mind then only doing his job. Don't you think so?"

Harry felt Dempsey's hand freed from hers. When she turned around her head to look at him she saw a determined glance on his face. A look that she knew so well. There was no other way then just go for it and hoping that Dempsey would take it easy and not exploded because she had pushed it too hard now.

"James shot a 6 year old kid during his first case when he was back, because he was more thinking on me than his job" Harry said softly.

Joyce who returned her full attention on Dempsey now saw the man in front of her trying very hard to control himself.

"How did you come with terms about that James?" Joyce asked carefully.

"He didn't" Harry answered for him when she realised that he had no intention to answer Joyce question.

Slowly Harry told Joyce what Dempsey had told her about the shooting, how guilty he felt and what he had done to reduce this quilt.

"And I assume that you refused professional help about it, am I right?"

Dempsey nodded his head.

"James, you can't blame yourself the rest of your life for what you have done! You made a mistake, but be honest: if it hadn't been a kid but a grown-up would you have react the same way then? Probably not. So try to take some distance. Work it out with Harry first. Be honest to each other, talk about your feelings. It won't be easy, especially now but you have been through such a lot together already. Meet Sophia, take your time to get to know her first. I'm sure you two can do it"

Harry felt Dempsey next to her relaxed. Deep down inside, Harry knew that Joyce had been right.

"I'm sorry to send you away, but the hour is over and I have other patients waiting"

"Thanks Joyce" Harry said.

"If you need me, you know where you can find me. That counts for you too James. And don't be too hard on yourself"

"Thanks" Dempsey shook Joyce's hand.

After they had both left the room Joyce closed the door behind them.

"And?" Harry asked.

"And what?"

"That wasn't too bad, wasn't it, but I thought for a moment that you would run away when I told her about Michael"

"Too be honest, me too"

Dempsey laid his arm around Harry's shoulders pulling her against him.

"Let's get us something to drink. I think we have deserved that by now"


	41. Chapter 41

"Here, that's for you" Dempsey said, putting a cup with coffee on the table for Harry.

They were sitting in front of each other downstairs in the canteen of the rehabilitation centre.

"Maybe Joyce is right" he said, playing with his own cup turning it round and round.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, having not a clue what he had in mind.

"About us."

"What about us?"

"With us having one argument after another during this weekend. That this has to do something with the tension between us. I meant what I said Harry that I sometimes have the impression that I don't know you anymore. That you indeed are a total stranger to me. Every time when I try to come closer to you, it seems if you hate what I'm doing. Every time when I try to kiss you, you push me away. Why is that?"

Harry looked down at her cup of coffee if she could get some strength out of it. Here was the question she had feared for weeks.

"Is it so strange for you to imagine that I'm still so much in love with you after all these years?"

"No" Harry said softly: "You know that I love you too"

"Is it something I have done or perhaps even not done?"

Harry nodded her head.

"Then what is it? Tell me"

But Harry nodded her head again, unable to speak.

"Harry, there's something wrong. I can feel it. Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't tell you" she took another sip of her coffee.

"So there's indeed something wrong! I knew it"

"Will you stop it" Harry stood up from her chair and walked away. Not able to deal with Dempsey's questions anymore. But she should have known that Dempsey would follow here especially now that she wasn't fast enough to escape.

He grabbed her by her arms and held her firmly in an iron grip.

"Let go of me" Harry hissed between clenched teeth's.

"No" Dempsey looked around and then obviously found something he was looking for. He opened a door and pushed Harry inside, locking the door behind them.

"You can't do this!" Harry yelled at him, realising where they were now.....in one of the big toilets downstairs which were accessible for wheelchairs.

"I told you already that a bathroom would be a perfect place to hide, well this is even better! I want an answer from you Harry. Where are you so afraid of? That we are going too far? It's not a crime to go too far Harry. We have done that more then once in the past and you had nothing to complain about as I remember"

Harry sat down on the toilet, the only place where she could sit.

Dempsey was leaning with his back against the door so there was no way to escape for Harry or she had to push him aside and she knew already that that would be an impossible thing to do.

"Dempsey, please. I can't tell you!" Harry begged looking up at him hoping that he would understand.

"Oh yes you can. I bet that you talked about it already with one of your therapists here. Am I right?"

A red blush crept over Harry's cheeks when he said that.

"Oh great" Dempsey walked over to the washstand and opened one of the taps. He held his hands under the stream and splashed some water in his face trying not to get angry.

Harry saw him doing it. She could escape, but she had no intention to do that anymore, she just sat there with her head resting in her hands.

"Who was that great therapist this time?" Dempsey turned around wiping his face dry with a tissue.

Harry bit her lip. This was so hard for her to talk about.

"My sexologist" Harry whispered.

"Your what?" Dempsey threw the tissue in a basket and bend over to Harry.

"You have seen that information book for yourself that first day that I came here with the list of all the therapists that are involved with my health" Harry defended herself.

"But you don't need that particular one! I guess you have told them that?"

Harry remained silence.

"Is that why you are rejecting me? Did that therapist told you to do so?"

"Not exactly" Harry felt more and more uncomfortable with the whole conversation.

"Then what exactly?"

She saw Dempsey kneeling in front of her, trying to take her hands in his.

"Harry? Are you so afraid of making love to me? Is that it? But why? Look at me"

"I....." Harry started to stutter. This was so embarrassing.

"Sweetheart. You don't have to be afraid. If it happens, _when _it happens.....I'll do anything to let you enjoy it. And to be careful. You know that"

"I know, but.......I'll probably never been able to give you anymore what you want from me and what I, deep down inside of me, want so desperately from you as well"

"You will?" Dempsey asked totally surprised: "Than we'll find a solution. Together"

"But it's true" Harry felt the tears streaming over her face when she had said that: "You don't know everything"

"Did the doctors say that it's dangerous now in your condition?"

"No not really"

"You see, there's nothing to be afraid of"

But in spite of that answer comforted Harry, it caused even more tears.

"I told you already, you don't know everything" Harry said between sobs.

"If it's not dangerous, then what is it?"

"I.....There's......" Harry started, she had really no idea how to tell it. "There's something that I haven't told anybody. It's my biggest secret and I'll only tell you if you promise me not to tell it to anybody else"

"Come on Harry. You can't be serious"

"I'm damned serious James"

Seeing her face, he first wanted to make a joke of it but then he realised that she was indeed very serious.

"Promise me James. And that you'll never break your promise. To anybody!"

"Okay. I promise" he admitted not quiet sure if he liked this or not.

"I told you and everybody else how I was sitting in front of the TV when this all happened and that I had no idea _how _it happened. Well, that's not exactly true"

Dempsey frowned his eyebrows when he heard Harry saying this.

"I never told anybody what I was watching"

"So, what was it?"

"Can you bend your head? I'll whisper it in your ear. I can tell it aloud. I'm too afraid that someone else will hear it as well"

"Sure" Dempsey bent his head over to Harry. He tried to steady himself by clenching his hands around the two support standards on both sides of the toilet. Harry put her arms around his neck and pulled his head even more against her. Then she started to whisper something in his ear.

"Now you know why I'm so afraid to make love to you James. That's the main reason. Thanks to me, I ruined a whole future for both of us together" she added when she finally finished.

Harry waited on the comment, but it never came. In spite of that Dempsey wrapped his arms around her and when he did that, Harry put her head against his shoulder and cried.

"Oh Princess" Dempsey whispered in her hair, stroking his hand up and down her back and trying to comfort her.

Now he knew the truth, he felt relief but also a big responsibility knowing that he would never been able to talk about it with anyone.

"I'm so glad that you trust me in this"

"I'm glad you know" Harry answered between even more sobs.

Then all of a sudden they heard a voice at the other side of the door.

"Is everything alright? Does someone need help?"

Harry and James looked at each other. A little smile crept over both of their faces.

"I think they caught us" Dempsey whispered in Harry's hair.

"I think so" Harry whispered back and then added with a more stronger voice: "No everything is alright in here. Thanks"

When they opened the door 5 minutes later, they saw a nurse standing in the corridor who gave the two of them a suspicious look.

"Now she's probably thinking what we did inside there" Harry said trying not to look at the nurse's face.

"Who cares" Dempsey answered, giving the nurse a dazzling smile, grabbing Harry by the hand and walking back to the canteen to finished their, in the mean time already, cold coffee.


	42. Chapter 42

_3 __days later_

Harry hadn't seen Dempsey since their, secret, talk in the toilets. He had phoned her four times since then but he had told her that he wouldn't be able to visit her. Harry didn't ask him why and Dempsey didn't tell her, so Harry assumed it had been work related.

And now they were on their way to Angela's and Mike's house to pick up Sophia. It would be Dempsey's first time to meet his daughter and Harry was a little worried about it. She hadn't seen her daughter for 10 weeks either. How would she react? Would Sophia be happy to see her or not?

"Hey, you are so quiet. What are you thinking?" Dempsey asked, trying to look at Harry and keeping an eye on the road at the same time.

"I don't know" Harry answered turning her face to him: "I think I'm scared"

"You don't have to be. You'll see that everything goes fine" He took one hand from the wheel to give her hand a little squeeze.

"I hope so"

Dempsey frowned his eyebrows. Harry didn't see it, because she had turned her head to look out of the window beside her.

10 minutes later he parked the car in front of the house.

"Wait here, I'll help you out" Dempsey slipped out the car and walked over to Harry's side.

"I don't need this one" Harry said firmly putting her stick in front of her not wanting to take it with her.

"That wouldn't be a wise idea if I were you" Dempsey suggested a little hesitant knowing what her reaction on that would be. And indeed hardly had he suggested it when her objection started.

"Dempsey!" Harry begged not understanding why he wouldn't agree with her in this: "I don't want that Sophia thinks that I'm not able to walk"

"Sweetheart. Wouldn't it be better that Sophia learns that you're not able to walk in long terms straight ahead in spite of that you're pretending you can and she had to find out later that you can't?" Dempsey tried carefully.

"No!" Harry swung her legs outside and pushed herself up to a standing position holding herself on the car to steady. She felt a little dizzy as she always felt these days when she had sat down for awhile.

Dempsey observed her, but didn't say a word. He had no intention to start another argument again. In spite of that he reached past Harry and took her stick in his left hand.

"What are you doing?" Harry exasperated wanting to grab the stick out of his hand, but for that she had to let go of the roof of the car and the result was that she almost tumbled down. It was that Dempsey caught her on time otherwise she had indeed made a terrible fall.

Dempsey took her by the arms to hold her. He didn't say a word, only looked at her and that look said enough.

"Maybe you are right" Harry admitted with a small voice reaching her hand out to the stick in Dempsey's hand, but not looking at his face when he handed it to her.

"Hey, there you are" they both heard a voice saying: "It's so good to see you two"

Angela showed up behind them and put kiss on Harry's cheek: "Come in"

Still not looking at each other, Dempsey guided Harry into the house. In the living room Harry stumbled to the sofa and set down feeling exhausted from only that short walk she had made. Dempsey sat next to her. They both looked around but there was no sign of Sophia.

"She's upstairs" Angela explained knowing exactly whom they were searching for: "I'll get her" and left the room leaving the two of them behind.

"What if she doesn't recognize me anymore?" Harry whispered, verbalising her deepest concern now.

"She will, believe me" Dempsey assured her, but he had to admit only 5 minutes later that he had had it all so wrong.

That was the moment that Angela appeared with a frightened and shy little girl at her hand who she had almost had to push inside the room.

"No!" the little girl said stamping with her little feet on the floor and wanting to turn around immediately.

Angela knelt near the little girl to look her straight in the eyes: "I told you that mummy would come to pick you up for the weekend. That it would be great"

"No! You are my mummy!" the little girl started to cry now and buried her face in Angela's neck.

Hopeless Angela stared at the two people on the sofa not knowing what to say or to do. Dempsey and Harry could only look at each other in total disbelief. Dempsey noticed Harry's lip trilling and her eyes brimming with tears. Damn, he thought to himself. This got totally out of hand. He had to do something, but what?

Biting his lip he stood up from the sofa and walked over to Angela and his daughter. He also knelt near and carefully he put a hand on Sophia's shoulder. He wanted to go for the gold and prayed that for once he would say the right words on the right time and that he would be able to explore his real feelings.

"Hi" Dempsey said: "I think you must be Sophia. Your mother told me a lot about you"

Dempsey saw Sophia frown the same way as he knew so well from Harry.

"Who you are? I don't ....krown you" Sophia answered not saying the words as they used to be: "You talk stupid"

Dempsey tried not to laugh. He had been accused from everything about his American accent since his first arrival in England, but nobody had said to him that he 'talked stupid' before.

"I'm from America, that's why it sounds a little strange in your ears"

"America? Where's that?"

"At the other side of the ocean"

"Occeaan?" Sophia asked: "What's occeaan?"

"No ocean. Sea. Have you ever been to the sea?" Dempsey tried realising that Sophia forgot to cry and that she got more interest in what he was saying now.

"With mummy"

"With her" Dempsey put his finger in Angela's direction: "Or with her?" he pointed on Harry.

"Her" He heard Sophia saying while she was looking at Harry.

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah. But....I was small then"

"Little you mean"

Sophia nodded her head: "Mummy cried"

"Cried when? When did mummy cry? Can you tell me that?" Dempsey asked sitting next to Sophia with his back against the wall now. The little girl seemed to feel a little bit more comfortable, but was still holding Angela if her life depended on it.

"On the..." Dempsey saw that frown again: "Beag" she added.

"Beag?" Dempsey had no idea what to make of that till he heard Harry whispering behind him from the sofa: "Beach. I think she means beach"

When Dempsey turned around, he saw Harry leaning backwards. She had put her right leg on the sofa to give it more comfort and was breathing heavily now.

"Mummy cried on the beach? Why was that?" Dempsey asked not turning his head away from Harry.

"She said occeaan remembered her on daddy, but don't know what daddy means" When Sophia had pronounced that, she tried to hide her head against Angela's shoulder if she was afraid that she had said something wrong: "I don't have dad" she added with a small voice.

Dempsey felt a lump in his throat when he heard Sophia talking about the fact that she had no idea what a daddy was. He hadn't had the attention to correct his daughter that she was using the wrong word for ocean again so surprised as he was: Harry had been thinking on him every time that she had went with Sophia to the beach! What to think of that? At least it was a fact that he had never expected. He also saw turning Harry's head away from him and knew that she found it very embarrassing what Sophia had just said.

"Mummy also gone" It was obvious that the little girl had had no idea why her mother suddenly had left her alone.

"Mummy didn't leave you, mummy had no other choice" Dempsey reached his hand out to Sophia, but the little girl was obvious still too frighten to trust him.

"Why?" was all Sophia said.

"Sweetie" Dempsey first wanted to say little Princess to her, but he realised just in time that that would be very confusing for Sophia if he was calling Harry, Princess as well.

"Sweetie? What's a sweetie?"

"Sweetie is a name for someone you love very much"

"But...you don't krown me?'

"Know me" Dempsey corrected her immediately without thinking, if it became a natural habit already.

"Mummy sweetie?"

"Yeah" Dempsey admitted.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Sweetie" Sophia repeated with a look on her face if she couldn't understand why this man next to her had such a short memory.

"Because I love your mummy very much"

"Love?"

"Yeah, you know what love is?"

Maybe he had to play that Foreigner song to his daughter "I want to know what love is' otherwise if she had no idea what he meant, but he thought that she needed to be a little older for that before she would understand the whole sentence of the song. "Yeah love....care"

"Oh as for a teddy bear?"

"Something like that yes"

"I find teddy sweet"

"You see. Teddy is also a sweetie" How the hell did he started to explain to his daughter why Harry had left her and end up with a teddy bear? Dempsey thought.

"Did you think that Mummy left you when you moved in with Angela and Mike?" Dempsey tried again hoping that this time he would be able to stay at the subject.

He saw Sophia shrugged her shoulders: "Didn't see Mummy" if that would explain everything.

"But that didn't mean that she didn't miss you"

"But why didn't she come to see me?"

Oh boy, how to explain to an almost 2 year old girl what happened to her mother and what she could expect in the future if it was difficult enough for grow ups to deal with it?

"Sweetie" Dempsey took a deep breath which didn't keep unnoticed by Sophia: "What happened to your mummy was something nobody ever expected. She wasn't able to walk anymore so it was impossible for her to look after you and to take care of you, but she never stopped loving you. Don't you ever have doubts about that. So when it happened, your mother made the only decision she could come up with. Instead of putting you in an orphanage" as M.J. was sitting in these days, Dempsey thought: "Where you do not belong because you are not an orphan, she asked Angela and Mike to look after you"

"But you?"

"What about me?"

"Who are you?" Sophia held her head a little wry.

"I came over as soon as I found out about your mummy"

"From the occeaan?"

"Ocean. Yes"

"Why?" Pfff, Dempsey had never heard a little girl asks so many questions, but she had a right to know.

"Because......because sweetie I thought that this would be something that your mother couldn't handle on her own and......because I still love her"

"Love her.....oh care"

"How you called it"

It was obvious that Sophia had to think about everything that Dempsey had told her the last half hour. She released herself from Angela's grip and turned around to sit next to Dempsey.

"I leave you two alone" Angela whispered to him hoping that Sophia trusted James that much in the meantime now that she didn't start to cry again. When she passed Harry on the sofa she saw her sitting with her arms around her knees while silent tears were running over her face. She gave Harry's arm a little squeeze and whispered: "He's doing remarkable well"

"Yeah. He does" Harry nodded her head, feeling extremely happy inside. If she ever had doubts about the fact that James wouldn't accept the existence of Sophia, these had be gone by now. She was so proud on him, only regretting it even more now that she hadn't told him about her earlier, but they had a whole weekend to spend together to look forward to and she was sure that at the end of it, Dempsey would have admitted to Sophia that he was her father.


	43. Chapter 43

"Ah, here you are. I have been looking for you everywhere" Harry said when finally she found Dempsey who was sitting on a bench in the garden of Winfield Hall.

"Hi, I'm sorry. Is Sophia taking a nap?" Dempsey asked, shoving a little up to the right to make place for Harry to sit next to him.

"Yeah, she's finally sleeping. It has been an exhausting afternoon for her"

"Not only for her"

"No for us as well" Harry put a hand on Dempsey's leg: "But you are a natural with your daughter"

"You think so?"

"I know so" Harry admitted.

Since their arrival at Winfield Hall 3 hours earlier, Dempsey and Sophia almost seemed to be inseparable. It had taken some time before he had been able to convince Sophia to come with him and Harry, but once sitting on the back seat of the car she had been a sweet little girl. Falling asleep almost immediately and not waking up before they had arrived at Winfield Hall and Dempsey had carried her inside. Lord Winfield hadn't been there to welcome them. He was still in London thinking that it would be wiser to let them spend at least one day together with their daughter first before he would join them later tomorrow.

"I thought that you wanted to tell her a little story before she took a nap?" Harry said, still wondering why he hadn't show up at Sophia's bed as he promised.

"I thought it would be wiser not to interrupt you two. Not now that Sophia obvious accepts you again as being her mother"

"But you are her father! You have all the rights to be there as well" Harry gave Dempsey's leg a little squeeze to let him know how she meant that.

"But she still doesn't know I'm her daddy. And Harry....to be honest, I have not the foggiest idea how to bring that up to her"

"You'll find a way. I was so amazed how you handled everything this morning with her"

"I just did what I thought was right"

"I was touched. Really" Harry added when she saw him frowning.

"You even expressed your real feelings to her. I told you, one day you would be able to do that, but you never believed me"

"Maybe I have learnt something from you after all" He gave her a weak smile, but it was a smile that didn't reach his eyes, something that didn't become unnoticed to Harry who instantly knew that there was something wrong. Again.

"What now?" she asked starting to get worried when Dempsey searched for her hand and took it into his.

"Harry? We need to talk" He didn't look at her when he said that.

"Oh no, don't tell me that we have to deal with another problem in our lives. I can do that anymore James, I have had enough of them!"

"I understand that, but there's something we need to discuss"

"I don't want to discuss anything anymore. I just want to be happy for once!" Harry exclaimed in total despair.

"Princess" Dempsey started, knowing that what he had to tell Harry now, wouldn't be easy, but he had to.

"I have had a little chat with Spikings"

"About what?"

"My work at SI10"

"What about it?" Harry leant forwards so that Dempsey would be able to lay his arm around her shoulders before she leant backwards again. His hand was resting on her left shoulder so she could rest her head against his arm.

"He offered me another job" Dempsey whispered softly, not knowing how he had to bring it up to her otherwise.

"Another job?" Harry asked astound and suddenly a little fear started to arise deep down inside her.

"They are not sending you back to New York, are they?" She knew how it sounded, but if they did that, she had no courage to fight anymore.

"No! Of course not" Dempsey immediately started to comfort her. Why was that the first thing that had crossed her mind, he wondered. Did she still not trust him that much by now?

"What then?"

"When was the last time that you have seen Spikings?"

"A couple of weeks ago" Realising indeed that it had been some time since their boss had visited her.

"I thought so. Did he mentioned something to you back then?"

"No. Why?"

"Well. The first day at SI10, I asked him if he was feeling alright and he said that nothing was wrong, but I got the feeling that he was just pretending"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked worried.

"I guess, none of you had noticed it, because you see him almost every day, but to me....he looked different. Well he asked me to come with him to the pub to drink something"

Astound Harry turned to Dempsey: "He hardly ever do that, drinking with one of the guys of SI10!"

"And certainly not with me if it wasn't important" Spikings had only done that twice before. The first time when he had met Harry and the second to tell him carefully if it had ever crossed his mind that Harry, maybe, had more feelings for him as he thought she had.

"So?"

"We went to the Bramcote. I noticed he was carrying a brown envelope with him. When we had our drinks, he opened the envelope and he handed me a piece of paper. Read it, he said and that's what I did"

Harry saw Dempsey hesitating for a moment before he continued.

"I couldn't believe first what I read Harry. I thought it was a bad joke and I started to laugh when I was finished, but seeing the serious look on Spikings face, I realised that it wasn't a joke"

Turning his head so he would be able to look Harry straight in the eyes.

"He offered me to become the new Chief Superintendent or whatever of SI10 Harry" Dempsey said a little nervous now not knowing how Harry would react to this.

But Harry didn't react at all. She just sat there, unable to speak. Dempsey Chief of SI10! This couldn't be true.

"That's indeed a bad joke Dempsey. How can you do this to me?" was all Harry said when the whole thing slowly started to sink in.

"It's no joke Sweetheart" she saw him pulling a piece of paper out of his inner pocket which he handed over to her. With a little hesitation she accepted and folded it out. And indeed there it stood in black and white. If Dempsey should accept the offer, he would be the new Chief within a months time.

"But..." Harry stuttered: "Why you? Why not Chas or someone else and why so sudden? What's the matter with Spikings? Did you ask him that in the first place?" Knowing how forgettable Dempsey mostly was in these kind of situations. So she was surprised when she heard him saying: "Of course I did. But his doctor advised him to slow down so he will take an early retirement and Chas... yes I wondered myself why they didn't offer him the job in the first place, but they did and Chas refused"

"Refused? Why? He deserves it"

"Oh more than I do, is that what you wanted to say?"

"Of course not. But why did he refuses? That doesn't make any sense"

"Spikings told me that Chas wanted to do more work in the field. And yes, I know what you want to ask: Alice supports it, what brings me to another point"

"What point? James?"

"Now Chas' job will be open as well, I want you to fill his place if I accept the offer"

"Me?" Harry asked astound and not knowing where to look.

"Yes. You! Can you imagine how that would be? I asked if there would be objections against us being together as a couple in and outside work and Spikings assured me there wouldn't be any. We don't have to hide it anymore. We can finally be a family and tell the whole world we're together. Wouldn't that be great and...."

"James..." Harry said with a little hesitation in her voice.

"It couldn't become on a better time for us. You don't have to worry if I..." Dempsey continued without noticing that Harry was obvious not so enthusiastic about the news as he was.

"James..." Harry tried again.

"You can work at SI10 even....."

"James..." Harry laid a hand on his arm and this time Dempsey seemed to realise that Harry wanted to say something. He turned around to look at her.

"What?" He asked seeing her biting her lip and the nervousness in her eyes.

"I'm afraid we have a problem here. I posted my resignation yesterday. I'm not working for SI10 anymore"


	44. Chapter 44

"You did what?" Dempsey exasperated in total horror and hoping that he heard it all wrong.

"I resigned from the force" Harry repeated with a small voice.

"But why? Why did you make that decision without talking to me first?" Dempsey really couldn't imagine why she had made such an important decision without letting him know first. Did he, after all, mean so little to her?

"I thought about it the last couple of days. Mostly since we went to that meeting and I realised how it would be in the future"

"Oh great" Dempsey stood up from the bench and felt hopeless.

"How could you do that?" He asked turning around to look down at her.

"I thought that that would be the best for us"

"The best? And I had nothing to say in this? Damned Harry, I thought....I don't know anymore what I thought" Dempsey threw his arms in the air in pure frustration.

"I had to make that decision on my own. And besides: I haven't seen you in 3 days, how would I've been able to discuss it with you?" Harry added angrily.

"You could have told me what your plans were by phone. I have phoned you 4 times the last couple of days"

"And you could have told me about your meeting with Spikings as well" They were staring at each other. Neither Harry, nor Dempsey wanted to admit that they had made a mistake. A very big mistake.

"I thought that when resigned, it would solve all our problems. It never crossed my mind that it would turn out this way"

"Well it did"

Harry heard the anger in Dempsey's voice and felt miserable. She had thought about her future over and over again. Since that meeting with the other patients suffering from a CVA and especially hearing about the fact what influence this could have on young children and their families she hadn't had one peaceful moment anymore. She could still hear the conversation she had with John about it earlier that week.

"I don't know what to do anymore" She had said to John after she had had another phone call from Dempsey in which he had announced that he wouldn't be able to visit her in the rehabilitation centre.

"About what?" John had asked her. Each of them had laid on their own bed as they were supposed to be resting after a hard day having therapy.

"My life. It's so complicated"

"Complicated? In what way?"

"Since James returned from New York, I have the idea that I'm living in a sort of rollercoaster. He told me that he's working for SI10 again and..." When Harry felt silence John added: "And you don't like that?"

"I didn't know it. Not before last week"

"But do you like it?" John repeated.

"I'm worried sick every day since then. Every time when he's out, I'm afraid he got killed and that they have to tell me that he's dead"

"How was it when you worked together? Weren't you worried?"

"I was, I know it sounds silly, but with me he had the best chance to survive, but now I won't be able to work with him anymore. I don't see me running after criminals to arrest them in the near future. I'm glad, I'm able to walk again, don't even have to think about running"

John frowned his eyebrows. He had never realised that Harry and Dempsey's job could be so dangerous from time to time.

"And James, how does he think about this all?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, does he feel the same as you, every time he's out on a case now and you are not around to protect him from being shot?"

"Dempsey has a motto: '_Life is hard and then you die'_" Harry answered.

"Wow, that sounds to me if he doesn't care at all about you"

"But he does. That's exactly the problem! He cares so much about me that his mind is more on me than on his job these days and that worries me even more"

"So it became more personal. Sorry, I have no right to ask that"

"No problem. I brought the subject up to you. I could expect that question" Harry thought back on what Dempsey had told her about M.J. how he shot him and how much that little kid had become a part now for the rest of his life.

"I want to be there for him, but not being worried every time he's out there"

"_For_ him? But you can't be _with_ him at work anymore? If you think about it that way, wouldn't it be better then to quit?"

"You mean resigning from the force?"

"Yeah. In that way you won't be around him when he's doing his job so he would be more concentrated again and you don't have to worried that he got shot because he's more thinking on you than on his job"

"Do you think so? But the last time I resigned, we both felt so miserable about it and when he begged me to come back, I was so happy that I indeed came back"

"But now it's a whole other situation Harry. Whether you like it or not." John sat down on his bed to look at Harry: "Of course I don't know you that well and James neither, but I can see that he loves you very much and that he's very worried about what will happen when you'll be released from here. If you don't want to let him worry even more, then consider what I have said. Be there for him and for Sophia. I think that's all that counts at this moment. You have to put your job on the second plan. I understand that it wouldn't be easy, but you have to make a choice here. I can't make that one for you. You have to figure out for yourself were your priorities are lying. With James and Sophia and a happy family or in a job in which you will be worried day after day from now on. Think about it. Well, I guess it will be dinner time. Are you coming with me?"

John stood up from his bed and walked over to the door.

"Go ahead. I'll be right with you" Harry answered far away with her thoughts and pondering all the things John had said to her. Half of the following night she had been even more occupied with considering the pros and cons of everything. But when the sun started to rise as the start of a new day, Harry had made a decision. Having an hour of free time between two therapies, she asked one of the nurses for some paper, an envelope and a stamp. It took her more than an hour to write her resignation down. Mostly because writing was still one of her difficulties. Mixing up letters and words when she didn't concentrate enough. Finally she put her letter in the envelope and went downstairs to post it. There was no way back anymore, Harry thought, when the envelope disappeared in the post box.

"Wow, that's a big breath" some of the other patients said when she heard what Harry was doing while she let the envelope slip into the letter box: "As if you are giving your whole life away with that envelope!"

Harry gave the woman a little smile but didn't answer her. Much lighter and feeling a deep relief deep down inside, knowing that she had made the right decision, Harry returned back to her room.

But that had been yesterday. Today was a total different story. Today she had been confronted with the fact that, maybe, she had made the wrong decision after all and she had to regret it for the rest of her life.

"I need some time to think" Dempsey said turning around. He had put his hands in his pockets and the way he walked away from her, reminded her of that other time when she had resigned from the force and she had told him that she was bored with him and never wanted to see him again. The same despair, the same disbelief had appeared in his eyes back then as now. Tears were glistening in Harry's eyes when she saw him climbing the few steps. As quick as possible, Harry tried to follow him. She knew she had hurt him, this time more than she had ever done before. But when she saw him disappear inside the house and she wanted to follow him, she realised that she had forgotten something. Her stick! Frustrated Harry went back to the bench. She bent over to pick it up but at the same time she felt herself slipping away and before she realised it she laid down on the ground. Hopeless she tried to push herself up by using the bench, but failed miserably. Now tears really started to run down her face. She knew exactly why it had happened. She hadn't been concentrating enough, her mind had been on James not on her walking. And to her total horror, she felt some raindrops falling out the sky.

"James!" Harry yelled, but nobody heard her. At least nobody showed up to help her.

After trying to stand up again and yelling Dempsey's name for at least another 5 minutes, nothing happened. And it even started to rain more heavily now. Within minutes Harry was soaked which made it even harder to get up. She felt real miserable and hoped that soon someone would realise that she was still outside.

Inside Winfield Hall, Dempsey had smashed the door behind him. Totally depressed he sat down. He had the feeling if his whole life had fallen apart. And not for the first time since he had returned to London. Why had Harry done this to him? The most important decision of both their lives and she even hadn't thought of to consulted him about it! What was he doing here anyway if she had no intention to share her life with him? That and a lot more questions were crossing his mind, but unfortunately he couldn't find any answers to them.

It was an hour later when Dempsey looked at his watch and he realised that Harry still hadn't show up. He also heard a little noise which he thought it was a little crying. Dempsey walked over to the living room where Sophia was sleeping. When he pushed the door open, he saw his daughter lying down with big tears running down her face.

"Sweetie?" Dempsey said: "What's the matter?"

"Teddy" the little girl said pointing her finger to the ground.

"Oh boy, Teddy has fallen overboard, has he?" Dempsey knelt down to pick the little bear up. He gave the bear back to her before he lifted her up. Almost 6 o'clock. Why had Harry slept their daughter for such a long time? He knew he had to learn a lot about children, but he knew that it would be difficult to get Sophia to bed at a reasonable time now which meant, his evening together with Harry had been ruined. At least, if there would be an evening for both of them in the first place. And to be honest, at this moment Dempsey really had doubts about that.

When he had searched in the bag for Sophia's clothes first he found a sweet, adorable dress to wear for dinner, it had cost him another 15 minutes to get her dressed. She seemed to be very happy, but Dempsey got a little frustrated. Still no sign of Harry. What the hell was the matter with her? And when Sophia started to jump up and down he had had it.

"Will you stop doing that!" he yelled at Sophia who only looked at him with her eyes wide open.

"Behave yourself!" he added, grabbing Sophia by her arm.

"Mummy" Sophia's lip trembled now and tears were appearing in her eyes.

"Mummy isn't here, so you have to make it with me!" Dempsey said with more confidence than he felt deep down inside.

"Find Mummy" the little girl said: "I want my Mummy"

Damn Harry. Where are you? I need you in here!


	45. Chapter 45

Cold and lonely, Harry still laid down in the garden. It was 6 o'clock now, almost dinner time so someone must have missed her by now. But nothing happened. Not 5 minutes later, not 10 minutes later. Harry had no intention to lay there the whole night although she couldn't imagine that they had started to eat without her. Except if Dempsey had told them that they had had another argument and that she had no intention to come to a family dinner.

With all the strength and willpower she had inside, Harry crept to the side of the bench. Luckily it had stopped raining, but the ground was still very slippery. Trying to ignore that, Harry put her elbows on the bottom of the bench. Biting her lip and praying that she wouldn't slip away again, she was able to bring herself into a sitting position kneeling on her knees. Funny, she thought by herself, I learned to do this only four days ago, never realising that I would have to do it for real only days later. Grabbing her stick from the ground and leaning on her elbows now, she had been able to push herself up so she could stand. Now the only thing that she had to do was to walk back to Winfield Hall. It took her another 10 minutes before she reached the steps to the front door. But then another problem reared up in front of her. She hadn't yet learnt to climb a stair without a rail! That had been the same problem last week at her place. Then there had been Dempsey by her side to solve that difficulty, now there was nobody. Damned Dempsey, she thought, are you so disappointed or mad at me that you didn't even realised that I'm still outside? There would be only one option to climb that stair. Sitting on her buttocks and taking the steps one by one. Slowly, with making a little progress at the time, Harry finally reached the top of the stair. She was totally exhausted by now but she had made it. She felt so happy and very proud of herself. When she would tell John and all the others about this adventure on Monday, nobody would believe her. With the last energy she had inside, she rang the doorbell. From somewhere inside the house she heard a little voice yelling: "Mummy" before the door opened.

"Lady Harriet!" Harry heard Abbott saying looking at her wet clothes and hair.

"Mummy!"

"Where have you been?" Abbott asked closing the door behind Harry.

"Out" Harry answered, dropping water in the hallway and suddenly realising that they weren't alone anymore, but that another man had joined them.

"First of all you have to take these wet clothes off" Abbott said, pushing Sophia aside who wanted to run up to Harry to hug her.

Harry didn't move. She had only eyes for the man who was standing at the other side of the hallway. They were just staring at each other. Both not knowing what to say.

"Go on" Abbott took Sophia's hand in his: "Leave it to them to solve this out" he added, taking Sophia with him to the kitchen.

Dempsey slowly walked up to Harry who still stood there not knowing what to expect.

"Harry? Where have you been?"

"Yeah, where do you think I have been?" Harry answered sarcastically: "You have no idea, haven't you?"

"About what?"

"I don't believe this! You left me behind out there in the goddamn rain and you even didn't realised it!"

"Rain? It was dry outside when I left you!"

"And why do you think I became so wet then? That I took a shower with my clothes on? You know very well I'm not able to do that on my own!"

"Well if you hadn't made that stupid decision about your resignation nothing would have happened"

"Oh now it's all my fault. John had been right, it's......"

"I should have known this! Of course you talked with someone else about it instead of me. Why with him and not with some of your therapists? Or was none of them available?" Dempsey added.

"That's not fair and you know it"

"Okay, you are right. I'm sorry" Dempsey admitted but not with much confidence and Harry had heard it in his voice as well.

Without wanting to start another discussion, she just passed him and wanted to walk up-stairs to her room still dripping water which had made a whole trace in the meantime between the hallway and the stair. She felt worn out and actually had no courage anymore to climb another stair, but she had to.

"Where are you going?" Dempsey ran after her, taking her arm to stop her.

"Let go of me. I want to get out of these things before I'm catching a cold. If it's not too late already"

"You don't have to go upstairs"

"Funny, I thought that I heard you saying that I can stay downstairs"

"You heard that right"

"Dempsey, I'm too tired to play games with you. I only want to change myself, get something to eat and then go to bed. Is that too much to ask?" Harry begged and tried to free herself, but Dempsey just fasten his grip on her arm and pushed her to the other side of the hallway right into the corridor.

"What are you doing?" Harry protested heavily now.

"I want to show you something"

"Dempsey! Can't that wait till tomorrow?"

"No"

Knowing that it would be impossible to convince Dempsey from doing something else at the moment when he had this in mind, she followed him.

At the end of the corridor they stood still before a door.

"What are we doing here? My father hardly use these rooms anymore" Harry became a little suspicious now. Her father had closed these rooms years ago shortly after her mother had died. How did Dempsey know that these rooms existed? They had never been together in this part of the house before.

"Remember last week when we made plans to visit Winfield Hall this weekend?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I phoned your father last Monday and we came up with some suggestions"

"Phoned him? Made suggestions about what?"

"For your stay here" while saying that Dempsey opened the door in front of them.

"Come on, go inside"

"Dempsey? I don't really need to walk around between spider's webs or god knows what's been hidden there inside"

"You'll be surprised"

"Maybe I don't want to be surprised anymore" Harry said quietly, but followed him anyway.

Once inside Harry stood still in pure amazement. The complete room, she had known so well during her childhood, had changed. Walls were decorated with new wallpaper, there were three big closets standing against one wall of the room, a big, king-sized bed, stood against another wall, but perhaps the biggest surprise was the door that gave entrance to a smaller room which was obvious made for a little child: Sophia. That room had also new wallpaper on the walls decorated with bunnies and other animals, a little bed with a curtain had been so proportionate that it was reachable from both sides and the room even had a walk in closet filled with little clothes. In every corner and on every free space you could find toys. She was so overwhelmed that Harry was completely speechless. She walked through Sophia's room and picked up a little stuffed animal replacing it when she saw something else that got her attention.

Dempsey had followed Harry to Sophia's room and stood still now in the doorway. When he had phoned Lord Winfield last Monday and he had told Harry's father that he, Harry and Sophia had plans to visit Winfield Hall and Dempsey had explained the problems Harry still had to overcome as part of her condition, the old man had made it very clear to him: he should do everything that would be possible to do what needed to be done to make it possible for Harry to stay at Winfield Hall. To be honest, Dempsey had had his doubts then. How on earth would it be possible to chance two rooms and a bathroom in something accessible for Harry that she could use on her own without asking him for help by everything she needed in only 5 days time? Dempsey had no idea how the old man had done it, but everything was indeed ready! Just as he had said it would be and just as Dempsey so badly had wished. He was as amazed as Harry, but deep down inside he also had no idea how she would react to all this. Would she liked it or......? Dempsey waited impatiently till Harry slowly turned around and saw Dempsey standing with his back leaning against the door-post. In his eyes she could see how nervous he was deep down inside. Carefully she stepped in front of him leaning on her stick and making a puddle water on the new carpet.

"I never expected this, I......." Harry started to say, feeling the tears brimming behind her eyes. Then one tear felt down over her cheek followed by another one.

"Oh no. Don't start again!"

"But I don't know what to say! It's all so beautiful"

"So you like it?"

Still a little nervous Dempsey gave her a weak smile, still not completely convinced if he and Lord Winfield had done the right thing.

Harry dropped her stick to the floor and laid her hands around Dempsey's neck. Her eyes sparkled so much as they hadn't done in a very long time.

"James. I just can imagine that you have done this all for me" Harry said feeling Dempsey's arms slipping around her waist.

"Well, to be honest I had a little help" he admitted.

"From whom?"

"First of all from your therapists, then from Angela who helped me with Sophia's room and last but not least from your father"

"You talked with my therapists and with Angela? When did you do that?"

"During the last couple of weeks. Was it worth all of it?"

"More than that"

They looked each other straight in the eyes. Dempsey searched for some confirmation in them afraid of doing something wrong here, before he lifted one of his hand up to the back of Harry's head. Harry knew what he had in mind, she wanted it as much as he did. But when Dempsey's lips met hers and he started to put gentle little kisses on her mouth and the kisses became more passionate, she knew she had to stop him.

"James?" she whispered: "I can't do this"

"You don't have to be afraid. I take care of everything"

"That's easy for you to say" Harry's face became sad again.

"We need an expert to assure you that it won't be dangerous for you" Dempsey said quietly, leaning with his forehead against Harry's.

"I told you, I don't want anyone to know about it"

Disappointed Dempsey turned around, forgetting that when he should release Harry too abruptly, she would tumble down and that was exactly what happened.

"Aaaaa" Harry screamed loudly trying to get a grip on Dempsey's arm at the very last moment but he was just out of touch.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry" Dempsey knelt down to help her on her feet again: "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I don't thing so"

Harry bend forwards to pick her stick up from the ground and felt her cheek become red.

"You look beautiful" She really did he thought, now she was blushing even more once he had said that.

"I think it would be wiser to put something dry on first" Harry answered, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah I think so" Dempsey admitted: "Let's go"

"To where?"

"The bathroom of course. What else?"

"I don't know"

Harry wanted to protest when he took her hand firmly in his.

"Where are you going?"

"I told you: the bathroom"

"I have to go upstairs for that. Remember?"

"No you don't"

Dejected Harry followed Dempsey to another door in the corridor.

"More surprises?" she asked. This was just another room that had been closed for many years.

"You'll find everything you need in here. I'll get some dry clothes for you"

"Dempsey?" Harry wanted to say more, but he was disappeared before she had been able to add something else. She saw him walking back to their bedroom. Deep down inside she felt disappointed that he had given up so quickly after she had pushed him away after their kissing. But maybe, she thought, _maybe_ he was even scared as she was, now he knew _why _it would be so difficult for her to make love to him. With that in the back of her mind Harry opened the door to the bathroom and stepped inside.


	46. Chapter 46

Harry sat down on the toilet in the bathroom and was even more amazed as before. In it she found everything she needed. With a smile on her face she took her wet clothes off and stepped in the shower. She remembered very well last week and how difficult it had been for her to ask Dempsey for help by taking a shower, but that wasn't necessary anymore. She could do that on her own now. In here was the possibility to sit down for her and she doesn't have to stand all the time. It was obvious that Dempsey had thought on everything. Well, almost everything, except for a curtain. When she had let the hot water stream over her naked body and she took a towel to dry herself afterwards, she heard the door open and before she could say something, Dempsey appeared with pyjamas in his hands. Harry could only look at him, unable to say something and Dempsey also seemed as if he had lost his ability to speak. Then slowly Dempsey's view crept over Harry's body from her head to her feet and back up to her face to meet her eyes. He saw Harry blushing and he knew how embarrassed she must feel. A little smile started to creep over his face.

"Do you need any help in here?" he asked, not been able to hide the tension in his voice.

"No, I think, I have everything I need" he heard her saying while she stretched her hand out to him.

For Dempsey it seemed, she had just invited him to take a shower with her. He could hardly believe she had done that. It felt like he had just seen heaven and quietly he closed the door behind him and turned around. He was already halfway with taking his t-shirt of when he heard that Harry said something.

"What are you doing?"

At her voice he heard immediately that there was something wrong here. Had he misinterpreted everything?

"I thought that...." Dempsey stumbled with his shirt in his hand.

"Just give me that, your fool" Harry pointed at the pyjama in Dempsey's other hand.

Dempsey had no idea why he had been so stupid to think that she had had something else in mind.

Without saying anything to her, he handed Harry her pyjama and rushed outside.

Totally confused Harry sat down for at least 5 minutes. Trying to analyse what had just happened. What had she done or said that Dempsey had thought that she had changed her mind about showering together? As far as she knew, she hadn't made any move at all to encourage him. Why had he misunderstood her so completely? She had really no idea. And why had he brought her pyjamas? She wanted to eat something first before she got to bed. She had made that very clear to him earlier. Or had he forgotten that already?

When she entered the bedroom later, she found it empty. No sign of Dempsey at all. Where the hell was he now? Harry walked over to one of the closets and opened it. Her mouth felt open when she saw it was filled with all kind of trousers, shirts and all kind of other clothes you could imagine, but she had only eyes for the two dresses hanging in it. A black and silver one. Two dresses she had never seen before in her life. Taking the black one out, she walked with it in her hand over to the bed. She couldn't get the idea out of her mind that Angela also had helped Dempsey a little bit in this. She really liked to wear that dress that evening, but when she had finally been able to get her pyjamas out again and wriggled herself, with a lot of difficulties, into the dress she suddenly realised that she wouldn't be able to wear that dress at all! At least not at the moment. Tears welled up in her eyes and she buried her head in her hands. More tears dripped between her hands on the floor. She felt all of a sudden so miserable. Then she heard some noises in the corridor. It was Dempsey's voice and he was talking to someone else. Harry stood up from the bed and wanted to take the dress off as soon as possible, but she wasn't fast enough. Before she was halfway, the bedroom door flew open and Dempsey entered, carrying a tray with him and behind him stood Sophia with a teddy bear in her arms. The two of them stood still in the doorway, astound for a split second, before Dempsey walked over to the bed, putting the tray on it.

"What are you doing?" Dempsey asked, while lifting Sophia up in his arms at the same time to let her sit on the bed.

"I thought...." Harry said, turning around and striping the dress further off.

"I guess, we are both thinking the wrong things lately" she heard Dempsey whispering behind her into her ear feeling two arms around her waist at the same time.

"You can't do this. Not in front of Sophia!" Harry whispered back turning around in his arms.

"What were you doing?" Dempsey repeated well noticing the sad eyes that were looking at him and the spurs on her cheek remarking that she had been crying. Again.

"I found this dress and thought I could wear it, but I can't!"

"Why not? It's for you"

"I supposed that already, but I won't be able to wear shoes with that dress. The only things which fit me these days are tennis shoes! Will I ever been able to wear other ones again?"

Dempsey heard the despair in Harry's voice when she looked up at him. Knowing what she wanted to hear from him. A guarantee that she would, but unfortunately he couldn't, give it to her. In silence he was also crucifying himself that this had never crossed his mind when he had asked Angela to buy two new dresses for Harry so she could wear them here at Winfield Hall.

"You can't guarantee me that, can you James?"

"No Princess, I can't"

Dempsey hugged Harry firmly when he said that and he felt her shiver in his arms. If it had been up to him, he would have hugged her much longer, but from behind their backs a little voice interrupted their intimate moment.

"Hungry!" the voice said.

"We're going to eat" Dempsey laid his hands on Harry's arms.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes I am, I really am" Harry added: "I get in my pyjamas again and then we can eat"

Harry peeked behind Dempsey's shoulder: "How did you do that?" seeing the tray he had brought with him filled with the most delicious things you could imagine.

"I planned everything. I wanted to be this first family dinner to be a very special one, but it turned out a little different"

"That's my fault"

"Nothing is your fault. I'll never want to hear you say that again!"

"But it is!"

"Harry, stop. There will be enough family dinners. At least: I hope so" Dempsey said.

"Look at me"

But Harry could only stare to the ground. He had done his best to make it very special for her, for Sophia, for himself and she had ruin everything for them. It had all started with telling him about her resignation. If she hadn't sent it away yesterday, nothing would have happened.

"James?"

"Yeah"

"About that resignation of mine..."

"Please, not now Harry"

"But we have to talk about it!"

"I know, but not at this moment. Come on" he took her hand and guided her to the bed.

When she climbed in, Sophia cuddled up to her. Harry put her left arm around the little girl shoulders as she watched Dempsey climbing into the bed as well pulling the tray to his side.

"Hey, I'm starving as much as you do!" Harry protested loudly.

"Hungry" Sophia joined in.

"You see" Harry triumphed: "You can't keep everything for yourself"

"Well, Sophia can have something, but this will be the only way I'll be able to feed you"

"Feed me?"

"Mummy little?" Sophia turned her head into Dempsey's direction.

"Now you see what you have done! Give me something to eat you idiot!"

"Idoot" Sophia repeated, stealing a sandwich from a plate of the tray at the same time. In Sophia's opinion, these two adults didn't do anything else than talking in spite of eating. She had helped so hard in the kitchen to get the plates ready, now she wanted to enjoy it.

"Idiot" Dempsey corrected Sophia without thinking. He didn't realise it, not before he saw that Harry had frown her eyebrows.

"What?" he asked innocently, really not knowing what he had done wrong this time.

"You...Idiot" Sophia pointed her little finger at him with a little smile on her face.

Both Harry and Dempsey knew that they made a big mistake here now, but the words came so funny out of Sophia's little mouth that they both started to laugh.

Then Sophia repeated it, and repeated it again seeing what kind of effect it had on both of them. She so desperately wanted to see and hear her Mummy and this man laugh in spite of having one argument after another.

"No Sophia, stop it" Harry tried.

"But he is idiot" Sophia had no intention to stop. This became funnier by the moment.

"No Sophia" Harry answered being all of a sudden very serious which didn't remain unnoticed by Dempsey who searched into her eyes if he could see something in them to prepare himself for what she was up to. But Harry only lingered her eyes on his. The intention between the two raised higher and higher. Sophia also felt it and her little head switched from Harry to Dempsey and back. She was sitting on the bed between them, trying to bite in her sandwich but the one she had chosen was too big for her. Neither Dempsey nor Harry noticed that. They had build there own world filled with electricity around them. A world in which there was only place at the moment for Harry and James.

Still not breaking eye contact, Harry stretched her hand out to Dempsey. He took her hand in his and he saw her tighten Sophia even more. He thought back on what he had said to Harry earlier that day. Would Harry make it easier for him now by bringing up the big news to their daughter herself? Knowing how difficult it still was for him to show his real feelings?

Dempsey felt a little squeeze in his hand when she opened her mouth. First the words came out a little hesitated if she was afraid to speak them out aloud, but soon her voice became stronger and stronger. Dempsey could only listen and so did Sophia.

"You called him an idiot honey" Harry began quietly: "Well it was basically me who had been the idiot here. If I had been more specific to granddaddy two years ago everything would have been really different. Back then I thought I did the right thing, but now I realise I didn't. I thought first that Dempsey was selfish, brash and arrogant, but he's the warmest, most attentive, gentle, tender and supportive man I have ever met in my entire life. I have been so wrong about him. It took us both a very long time before we admitted how much we cared about each other. And when we finally did, he had to return to America to his homeland almost immediately"

"Why?" Sophia looked at the corner over her eye to observe Dempsey as if she had seen him for the first time in her life.

"Because honey, Dempsey had to. There was no other way at that time. That was more than two years ago"

"Two? I'm almost 2" Sophia announced proudly.

"We know. But he came back to Mummy when she needed him the most and to be honest, Mummy has no idea how she would have been able to survive the last weeks without him"

"You had also survived without me" Dempsey interrupted Harry. She had been so strong in the past, she should also had the strength to go through this by her own.

"No! That's not true. I felt so lonely from time to time, but I knew then that you were there for me. I have seen so many people in the rehabilitation centre who had no partner, no children, no family around to support them. For them it must have been so very hard when you know that that there will nobody waiting for you when you finally get the permission to spend a weekend at home or when you'll be definitely released"

Harry wanted to add more, but then she saw how Dempsey nodded his head.

"What?" she said, wondering what he meant.

"Look!" was all he said.

When Harry followed his gaze, she saw Sophia lying against her with her thumb in her mouth. Fast asleep. The sandwich she had been eating lay, in crumbs, on the duvet.

"I think you have made it a little too long for her. But I liked it very much, especially what you said about me" he winked which made Harry blush tremendously.

"I'll put her in bed" Dempsey announced, lifting Sophia up in his arms. She mumbled something in her sleep, but didn't wake up. Carefully he carried her over to her own bedroom. Harry saw him leaving. Sophia's head was resting on his shoulder. She heard him talking later to Sophia in the next room, but couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. All she knew, was that it sounded so good, so trustful, she hoped to hear that at least a thousand times more. She took another bite of her sandwich and made herself comfortable in bed waiting till Dempsey would come back to her. But it took longer and longer and slowly Harry felt herself doze away. The last thing she remembered, before she felt asleep, was that someone climbed in the bed next to her and said: "I don't believe this! Two beautiful women and all they can do is sleep. What have I done to deserve this?"


	47. Chapter 47

It was still dark outside, when Harry woke up from a scream. First she had no idea where it came from, but then she heard it again.

"No, no!" the voice said: "I couldn't help it!"

It took her some time to realise that the words came from the other side of the bed! Switching the light on, she saw Dempsey lying beside her on his left side with his back to her. She had never heard Dempsey scream like this before. What was wrong with him? Carefully Harry laid a hand on his shoulder trying not to scare him off.

"James" she whispered: "Wake up"

No reaction.

"Come on, wake up!" Harry repeated, squeezing his shoulder a little harder.

Then slowly Harry saw him react. He opened his eyes and looked bewildered around him. She could also see the cold sweat appearing on his forehead which made her feel real worried.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know"

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"I think so"

"About what?"

"Can't remember" he lied: "Go back to sleep"

She saw him closing his eyes again. Rejected, Harry switched the light off again, but she was fully awake now. Why had he screamed in his sleep and why did he refuse to talk about it? Which words had he screamed? She had still been half asleep back then. She couldn't remember it very well. Just as she felt back asleep, the screaming started again. This time it was even worse.

"I tried to find her. Really" she heard him saying. Tried to find whom? Harry wondered.

"I know, I made a mistake" Mistake? About what?

Harry felt Dempsey wrestling in his sleep with someone or something. He pushed the duvet away from him and a second later his right arm almost hit her in the face. Now she really had had it and switched the light on for a second time that night.

"Wake up James" Harry now shook him, hoping that this time he would react a little faster. And indeed, he opened his eyes again but didn't turn around.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing"

"You almost knocked me out of the bed. I won't call that nothing"

"I'm sorry about that. But I told you: go back to sleep"

"No! Not before you tell me what's eating you"

"Nothing" she heard him say for a second time.

"Dempsey!" Harry warned him and tried another tactic. Maybe when she didn't use his surname, he knew that she meant it.

"Have you had these nightmares before?"

"Sometimes" he admitted quietly.

"Since when?"

Silence.

"Dempsey, since when do you have these nightmares?" Harry repeated bending over him.

"Can't remember"

"You're lying and you know it"

It were just a couple of innocent words she had said, but for Dempsey they were just the wrong ones she had chosen.

"Lying? You accused me of lying?" Harry heard him spitting the words out with so much anger that she shrunk back almost immediately.

"He back off. I'm trying to help you here. I have no idea what's bothering you, but _you _don't have to talk to _me_ like that!"

Harry turned around to lay on her painful side. It hurt like hell, but she bite through. She reached her hand out to turn the light off when she heard Dempsey saying 'You are right. I'm sorry' Harry felt Dempsey turning around so she did the same. Now at least she was able to look at him.

"I don't know if I can do it Harry"

"Do what?"

"Accept Spikings' offer. Maybe it would be better if I try to find another job. I'm starting to lose it"

"What?" Harry exasperated: "Are you crazy? Spikings would have never offered you the job if he knew what you are thinking now. Don't tell me that this has something to do with your nightmares. Because if so, I have to say you're lying again"

"I have these nightmares since the shooting. They come and go" Dempsey admitted with a soft voice.

"Shooting? What shooting?"

"Of M.J."

"But that took place weeks ago! I thought you had solved that case? Since then you have solved god knows how many other cases"

"Five" Dempsey interrupted her.

"You see, 5 other cases so you can definitely be sure of one thing: you are not losing it!" Harry added firmly.

"But that particular case isn't closed Harry. Not for me"

"Not closed? What do you mean by not closed?"

"Dave recorded everything that night, but.....but I forgot to listen to the tape before I started the interrogation. My mind wasn't on the case. Again. I did the questioning that afternoon after we had that meeting with the other CVA patients. I couldn't get that meeting out of my mind and I blew it then for a second time"

"In what way?"

"Dave tried to warn me, but I wasn't listening. How could I've been so blind that I didn't see through that woman's lies? I gave her my word that if she cooperated with us, I should do everything to give her her freedom back. You have to believe me Harry" Dempsey begged: "Back then I thought I did the right thing, I really thought"

"Shit. So she got released" Harry saw Dempsey turning his head away from her.

"Yeah, before I could do anything about it anymore" He had no intention to tell her also how miserable he had felt deep down inside when he had realised what he had done and hear her triumphantly laughing when she drove away.

"Did you listen to the tape afterwards?" She said softly hoping that he would turn back to look at her again.

"I did. Once"

"And?"

"Dave was right. Lucia, the woman, had lied to me"

"Oh no!" Harry could imagine now why he had still these nightmares. She should have had them as well if it had happened to her.

"And Spikings? What did he do when he found out?"

"He...." Dempsey fell silent for a short moment of time: "He took me off the case saying I was too emotional involved"

"I think he was right" Harry said carefully.

"Yeah but Dave came up with nothing. I asked him over and over again if he had been able to locate Lucia, but he said he didn't"

"And you don't believe him. Right?"

"I think he never realised how important finding her was for me"

"And you never told him" Harry simply stated knowing he would never admit that.

And indeed, he just ignored her words by continuing: "I can't get it out of my mind Harry. I'm still thinking that we all have missed something here, but I don't know what!"

Around Harry's mouth appeared a little smile. She knew him so well, well at least sometimes.

"Don't tell me that you have one of your famous hunches about this all"

"And if I do?"

"Then I would say: Forget it"

"But you can't deny that some of my hunches in the past were right"

"Well, let me think, which one that could be" Harry pretended that she was thinking very hard now: "Sorry, I can't remember"

Dempsey couldn't keep the laugh inside when he heard her saying that, but became immediately very serious again.

"I mean it Harry"

"I know, I'm sorry"

"The only thing Dave came up with was that the man, Mc. Allister, indeed had a connection with the drugs dealers we suppose to observe that night after all. He has been one of their leaders. He had been send to prison"

"But he never told who that little kid was? Or what that woman did there in that room?"

"No. Dave said that Spikings had been present by the other interrogations so I guess Mc. Allister just kept his mouth shot"

"But you are convinced there is more? When they send Michael to that orphanage had nobody any idea whom his parents were, if he had family somewhere?"

Harry realised what kind of sensitive spot this must be for him. Now that she had seen him together with Sophia and how good he dealt wit her, she understood his request about taking M.J. with them to Winfield Hall even better. She even regretted it now that she hadn't answered him with a whole-hearted yes when he had suggested it last week. Maybe she must tell him that.

"There was nobody. At least not anyone they could find. The kid only knew his first name. If he had been brainwashed or something. If people told him never to tell his last name. Where he came from and so on. To nobody"

"Not even to you?"

"Not even to me"

"Isn't that wired?" Even Sophia knew her last name. Well from what she thought her last name was. From the day she was born, Sophia had been Sophia Makepeace to everyone. How would she react as she, finally, heard that her real name in fact Sophia Dempsey was?

"And what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know. I have no idea where to begin with anymore. It's eaten me for weeks now, it followed me in my dreams. I only knew that I want to find her. I have to find her. If you like it or not Harry, but I feel that she's the key to everything"

When Harry felt Dempsey searching for her hand, she only laid hers in his. She could feel how tensed he was, something that she had never seen of him before. He could be obsessed with a case, that had happened more then once, but this was different. Till he had solved this case, it should always be something that stood between them and their happy life together. And she didn't want that anymore so she had to help him in this. But how? What could she do? Then all of a sudden an idea crossed her mind.

"You said that you only have listen to that tape Dave had made that night once. Why not more often?"

"I told you already, Spikings took me off the case. I had no access to the tape anymore"

"But you know where it is?"

"Yes, I think so. Why?"

Dempsey saw that special look on Harry's face appear again. That look he knew so well from her when she came across something important in one of the files of cases they worked on in the past.

"Can you see if you can lay your hands on it?"

"Harry!"

"And if you asked Dave?"

"Dave? Are you out of your mind? He will never help me, you know what he thinks about me. He had had the biggest victory of his whole career during this case. No, and I'm not begging him Harry. You can't expect me to do that"

"Well, then you have to wait for at least another 4 weeks till you move in Spikings office. 4 weeks filled with nightmares. Is that what you want? Go ahead"

"Who said I will accept Spikings offer?"

"You will, I know you. I'm willing to help you to solve this case. But there is one condition"

"There is?" Dempsey asked suspicious.

"Yes" Harry waited a second to look him straight in the eyes: "That you'll accept my resignation from the force"


	48. Chapter 48

"Harry? You can't expect me to do that!"

"Then the deal is off. Good night" Harry switched the light of and closed her eyes.

Immediately the light switched on again. This time it had been Dempsey who had reached his hand out to the light at his side of the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Like you said: trying to go back to sleep"

"Damned Harry. We have to talk this out!"

"Oh yeah do we have to? You won't accept my point of view and I'm not accepting yours so what the hell do we have to talk about then?" Harry asked a little irritated now.

"About perhaps _why_ you resigned in the first place. What have I done wrong this time that you made that decision?"

"What do you mean with this time? You didn't do something wrong. Not this time, not any time"

"The last time that you resigned I thought I did" Dempsey answered quietly.

"No you didn't"

"I didn't?" Dempsey wondered.

"No" Harry had tried to explain Dempsey back then _why_ she had done it. Because she couldn't see him die. Hoping he understood. But he didn't. Why should it be different this time?

"I made my decision. There is no other way"

"But I like having you around. I thought that it was two sided"

"James" Harry flustered, this became more complicated by the minute: "I will be there _for_ you. At home, anywhere, but I just can't be _with_ you at the office anymore"

"Why not? We will find a solution"

"And what do you think I've been doing these last weeks? We need to be reasonable James. I'm not permitted to drive and by the time I'll be out of a car anyway, it'll be 5 minutes later. I can't run after criminals to bust them when they escape. I won't be able to sit after a desk the whole day. And more important: I'm not even able to climb the stairs to reach the office! How the hell can I make myself useful there? To offer you some coffee from time to time when you pass me on your way to the parking? Well Dempsey, I'm sorry but I don't think I want to be nothing more than a waitress"

"You will be more than that"

"Oh yeah? Can you come up with one, just one thing that I could do around there?" Harry challenged him, knowing that there wouldn't be one.

"I...eh....I" Dempsey stuttered, hardly thinking to come up with at least something, but soon enough he had to admit that Harry had been right.

"You see"

"So you have it all figured out, haven't you?"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Like I said. Well, I think the only option will be then that I'll resign also"

Oh no, Harry thought, not that again.

"Don't do that. It won't work"

"It worked last time"

"Dempsey? That was something totally different. Don't you see that Spiking's offer is just something we were waiting for?"

"What do you mean?"

"I suppose that it didn't keep unnoticed to you that I'm worried sick every day since I know you're working for SI10 again. And I must admit that the weeks before you told me that I have been even more worried. Mostly because I had no idea what you were doing. You just disappeared or didn't show up when you told me you would. But I'm scared. I don't want to lose you"

"You won't lose me" Dempsey answered holding her tight now. Trying to comfort her at the same time.

So that laid behind her decision to quit, Dempsey thought. All these other things she brought up earlier were most of them just excuses. The bottom line was, she had been scared to lose him!

The more Harry thought about it, the more she was convinced that Spikings hadn't made this offer to Dempsey at this moment without a reason. He had been the only one back then who had really understand why she had resigned. By taking an early retirement himself, the way laid open for Dempsey not to lay in the line of fire anymore on a regular basis so she wouldn't have to be worried anymore day after day that he got shot. He had probably already noticed weeks ago that it wouldn't be possible for her to return to SI10. Long, very long before they both had realised it. Spikings had always said that he didn't want to know or to hear anything about their relationship during work. So they both tried to keep it a secret as long as possible, really having a hard time by doing that. They couldn't express their feelings openly at work neither after work. Only in the safety of their own homes which had frustrated them both immense. And now Spikings had given Dempsey all the time he needed to be with her the last couple of weeks. Knowing that inside the rehabilitation centre they would finally be able to express their feelings for each other otherwise as inside their homes because nobody knew their back rounds in here. Was this offer his way to say that he wanted them to be happy after all? "If" that would be indeed the main reason for their boss' early retirement, the two of them were much more indebt to him than he should ever realise.

But as happened so many times before, the two of them didn't share their thoughts they had with the other. Dempsey mainly because he didn't want to show Harry he had seen through her and Harry because she knew in advance what Dempsey would say when she only suggested what the reason for Spikings retirement could be: Ridiculous. So they both kept quiet.

"Which bring us back to our main subject: your offer to help me" Dempsey said after a while of total silence.

"Yeah. It still stands"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well" Harry pushed herself up a little higher in the pillows to sit a little more comfortable: "First of all I need that tape and tape recorder of course to play it. Can you bring me that? And the file?"

"The tape recorder wouldn't be the problem. I guess I will have more difficulties to get the tape out of the SI10 building if I can get it anyway"

On this point, Dempsey wondered how on earth he got himself into this? He had hoped the nightmares stayed away just as last weekend, but they didn't. Now Harry knew his little secret and he knew her also well enough that she wouldn't rest till she had done everything to solve this case. He was glad she offered him her help, but against which price? Hadn't she been trough enough already? But when he saw how much her eyes sparkled, which they hadn't done in weeks, her enthusiasm and her will power, he pushed the fear that started to grow deep down inside him away. If he didn't think about it, it didn't exist. But was that really a wise idea???????


	49. Chapter 49

Harry woke up some hours later when she heard someone scream again. This time it was a much lighter voice and it didn't come from the person lying next to her in bed but from further away. Someone was calling her name. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and rubbed her eyes. Oh she felt so exhausted, she wished she could sleep for at least another hour. But she couldn't. Sophia needed her.

"What are you doing?" she heard Dempsey, with an even more sleepy voice, saying.

"Sophia is wake, she's yelling my name"

Harry wanted to stay up, but then she saw Dempsey swinging his legs outside the bed and putting his robe on.

"What are you doing?" she said using the same words as he had done just seconds before.

"You can stay in bed"

Totally astounded, Harry sank back with her head on the pillow and watched Dempsey leaving the bedroom. A minute later she heard him talking to Sophia. But Sophia was obvious not satisfied to see Dempsey appearing at her bedside because Harry heard her even harder screaming that she needed Mummy. And the screaming continued and became even louder and louder.

"Will you slow down a little" Harry heard Dempsey saying: "You'll wake up everybody"

"Mummy!"

Harry couldn't stand it any longer and also slipped out of bed. When she entered Sophia's bedroom, she saw Dempsey standing next to Sophia's bed, trying to comfort the little girl, but obvious without any luck.

"Mummy!" Sophia screamed when she saw Harry appear behind Dempsey's back.

"Yes Mummy is here" Harry avoided looking at Dempsey when she stretched her arms out to Sophia. Dempsey did a step aside, feeling totally dumb. He wasn't even capable to comfort his own daughter! Silently he turned around with the intention to walk back to the bedroom.

"Don't go" Harry whispered.

"It's obvious I'm not needed in here"

"Oh yes you are" Harry laid a hand on his arm.

"I can't get her out of her bed or we both tumble down" Harry added looking at him now and wondering how he should react on this.

"So that's all you need me for?"

"James!" Harry pleaded. Why was he acting all of a sudden as a spoilt child? This same attitude she had seen so many times before by Sophia as well. Always putting up an aggrieved expression if she didn't get what she wanted. Father and daughter had more in common than you could imagine.

"Don't be ridiculous. I guess Sophia had forgotten that you were here as well. She didn't recognise you. Right sweetie?"

Harry saw Sophia frown her eyebrows when she looked up at Dempsey.

"Oceaan" Sophia said finally remembering yesterday when Dempsey had told her where he came from.

"Ocean. You see" Harry answered squeezing Dempsey's arm with her left hand.

"Yeah" It was obvious that Dempsey wasn't convinced at all.

"Just take her with us James to our bed and then..."

"You want me to bring her to our bed?"

"Why not?"

"And make a habit of it when she's older?"

"What do you mean?"

"When she's able to walk...." At the same moment Dempsey had said these words, he saw the hurt and pain appear in Harry's eyes. Again he had chosen the wrong words, he realised. He stretched his hand out to her, wanted to say how sorry he felt, but he couldn't. He opened his mouth and closed it immediately. Before he could do something else he saw Harry turning around and walking away from him. His first impulse was to run after her but on second thoughts it would be wiser to wait. He had no idea right now how to make it up to her this time. Not knowing what to do next either, he bent over to Sophia and lifted her up from her bed in his arms.

"Shall we see if we can get you dressed?" he offered her.

"Bath" the little girl answered with a big smile on her face.

Of course, Dempsey should have know it. Harry had always been the one who loved taking a bath, why should it be different with his daughter?

15 minutes later Dempsey had filled the bath with water and put Sophia in it. He knelt near the bath tube to sit on his knees to hold her. Sophia was playing with a little yellow duck and laughed. Her laugh also reached the bedroom where Harry laid on the bed. Her cheeks were wet from all the silent tears which had run down. She still couldn't believe why Dempsey hadn't thought before he had used these, for her, so painful words. For him it had been obvious more important to stay with his daughter than to come after her. And the longer he stayed away, the longer Harry was convinced that Dempsey really had no idea how much he had hurt her. He even hadn't make an apology for using them! Why not? He must have seen it in her eyes how much these words had hit her. Or had he perhaps thought that she must get used to it that people would make these kind of comments in the future? Well she knew one thing for sure: she would never do that and certainly not from him!

Tears were still running over her cheeks which she tried to hide for him when Dempsey returned to the bedroom later with Sophia. The little girl had laid an arm around his shoulders and her head against his neck. He let her sit on the bed where she crept immediately between Harry's legs. Harry had expected that at least he would say something to her, but he didn't. In total silence he slipped into his trousers and his t-shirt. Then he put his shoes on and stood next to the bed looking down at her and Sophia.

"Come Sophia, we're going downstairs. See if we can get some breakfast" he reached his hand out to the little girl.

"Mummy coming?" Sophia asked, switching her head between Harry and him and back to Harry.

"I don't think so" Dempsey answered even before Harry could say a word.

"Don't do this to me!" Harry cried out now. She couldn't stand this total ignorance from him anymore.

"Do what?" Dempsey asked lifting up his daughter from the bed.

"As if I don't exist!"

"Come on Harry. One little comment from me and you're acting like the whole world is fallen apart!"

"One little comment? One little comment?" Harry repeated. Deep down inside anger started to grow. Was that what he thought he had made? Just a little comment?

"Do you know what I wished? That for just one day, one _single_ day you could feel how I'm feeling. How it would be that you have to think by every step you make. How much energy everything costs? How exhausted you are at the end of the day because you are in constant pain? Day and even more during the night. I can try to explain it to you over and over again, but you'll never understand. Nobody will. I never appreciated it either what it meant to be healthy before this happened. Now I do. I really do. I wished I could turn back time, but I can't. I have to live with it, if I like it or not and try to accept it. But if the only thing you can do is to make these thoughtless, lousy comments then I don't need you around me and Sophia anymore. Have I made myself clear?"

Astound Dempsey had listen to everything Harry had said. He had seen Harry's cheeks become red and even more red during her outburst. She looked so sexy when she was angry on him. But it would be wiser not to mention that to her. Especially not now and under these circumstances.

"Come on Harry. Are you not overreacting this a little bit?" Dempsey tried, shrugging his shoulders.

"You still done get it don't you?"

"Get what?"

"That I mean every word of it"

"You can't be serious" Dempsey sat at the edge of Harry's bed and his hand gently started to caressing her left leg.

"Don't touch me!" Harry warned him putting her legs up till under her skin.

"What do you want me to say? Sorry. Is that it? Okay I'm sorry. Satisfied now?"

"Only sorry won't be enough this time James" Harry whispered softly wrapping an arm around Sophia and holding her tight. In fact she was afraid that she had pushed it a little too far this time and that Dempsey's reaction on it would be that he took the little girl with him to god knows where.

"What do you want me to do then?" Dempsey yelled at Harry in total frustration not realising how he would scare Sophia off with doing that. The little girl immediately started to cry.

"See what you have done?" Harry looked even more furious now.

"Oh of course, it's all my fault again. Well obvious you know it all so well" with these words Dempsey stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked bewildered when she saw him walking straight to the bedroom door and picking up his jacket from the chair in the corner of the room.

"I'm leaving. That's obviously what you want"

And before Harry could say another word, he disappeared, slamming the door behind him.

"James come back!" Harry yelled after him. Sophia started to cry even harder if she knew what had just happened.

"You stay here" Harry pointed at Sophia. Then she slipped into her robe, grabbed her stick from the bed and humbled to the bedroom door. In her experience it took ages before she had reached the corridor. There was no sign of Dempsey. She feared already that he had indeed walked out of her life. And well for good this time. She finally reached the front door and opened it, being totally surprised when she found his car still standing in front of the house. Obvious he didn't run away from her completely, Harry thought with a little relief. But where was he? Not downstairs Harry realised when she had searched everywhere and even asked Abbott in the kitchen if he had seen him.

"Maybe he's upstairs" Abbott suggested: "Shall I take a look there for you Lady Harriet?" he added a little worried. It didn't keep unnoticed for him that she had been crying. The spurs of the tears were still visible on her cheeks.

"No thanks" Harry said: "I'll do that myself"

Abbott saw her leave. And was even more worried. Since her arrival yesterday he still wondered why, all of a sudden, she had shown up here and brought James with her. Occasionally Lord Winfield had told him over the years about the relationship of Lady Harriet and her partner Lieutenant James Dempsey. He had always believed that there had been more between the two of them than having just a working relationship. But that they both were to frighten to admit it. Even to each other. But every time in the past when they had visited Winfield Hall together, Lady Harriet had been glowing and then one day, she came to see her father on her own. Leaving him after a couple of days with a very sad look on her face. Since then he hadn't seen Harry anymore nor her Lieutenant. Till yesterday. But that things still didn't go as they used to be between the two, that was clear. Probably Lady Harriet's condition at the moment had something to do with it. When Lord Winfield should arrive later today, he would tell him his observation. Maybe he would be able to bring that smile back on his daughters face. She really deserved to be happy after all she had been going through lately.


	50. Chapter 50

Upstairs Dempsey sat down on the bed in what was the bedroom he had used so many nights when he had visited Winfield Hall in the past. His first impulse indeed had been to drive away. Back to London and to leave everything he loved so much behind. But he couldn't do it. Now that he had met his daughter, he knew that he would never be able to stay out of her life, that he always wanted to be a part of it. After just one day, she was already the most important thing in his life. Well after Harry. Harry, he thought. She had been so right. He would never understand how she felt deep down inside at the moment. They all could be nice to her, trying to help her one way or another, but how it really felt now that her life had changed in just one split second, he would never know. But why couldn't he just admit that and tell it to her? Why was that always so difficult for him? He could express his real feelings to Sophia why not to Harry? Deep down inside he knew exactly where it all came from. His fear to express his real feelings lay in the past and having these nightmares about the shooting of M.J. were just a part of it. They only brought memories back from what had happened a long, long time ago. "Maybe" he needed another talk with Joyce. In private this time, without having Harry by his side. It would be his only hope to deal with the demons of the past.

After he had made this promise to himself, he stood up from the bed and walked outside. This time he took the stairs at the other side of the house to get downstairs. That was the reason he missed Harry when she finally reached Dempsey's former bedroom. There was a dent on the bed which indicated that someone had sit on it just recently. Harry sat down on the same spot. She felt exhausted. The trip upstairs had taken more from her energy than se realised. Even her breathing got more uncontrollable as before. Then she heard something. It came from outside! It was if someone had started a car. And she knew that sound so well. It was Dempsey's car! With a strange feeling in her stomach she walked over to the window and looked down. Just in time to see Dempsey putting Sophia in the back seat of the car, walking to the driver seat and driving away. What had been just a thought downstairs earlier, had now became reality. He had indeed taken Sophia with him. Forcing her to stay behind. How could he do that? There was only one thing that crossed her mind now: she must get out of here as well. As soon as possible. Without further looking she turned around and left the room. 10 minutes later she reached her bedroom.

Yesterday Dempsey had put their, empty bags, on the top of the shelf in the closet. Without thinking that she wouldn't be able to reach them. When everything had been normal, it wouldn't have been a problem to get one of them down but now? After starring at them for some time, an idea crossed her mind. You became very inventive if you had to. Steadying herself with one hand at the door of the closet, she put her stick in the air and slowly forced one of the bags down. She couldn't avoid that all the three bags tumbled down and almost knocked her to the ground. Picking up the largest one of them, she put it on the bed and zipped it open. Then she walked back to the closet and started to pull some clothes out of it. She was so concentrated that she didn't hear that the door opened behind her. Without looking, she walked over to the bed with the clothes in her hand and threw them in the bag. Then she walked back to the closet. Twice Harry walked back to the bed again and with every time doing it, Harry became more angry.

"Your selfish, arrogant, intolerant bastard!" she said to herself throwing even more clothes in the bag.

Then a voice cut through her angry mind, but she didn't hear it. She was still too occupied with what she was doing.

"I said: what the hell are you doing?" the voice repeated.

This time Harry noticed that someone stood in the doorway and looked at her with a expression of total disbelief on his face.

"You're back!" Harry looked back at the person with the same disbelief on her face.

"Back? Back from where?"

"I....I thought you were gone"

"Gone? Gone where?"

"To London"

Harry could only stare at Dempsey, believing deep down inside she must be dreaming. But when she cleared her throat and blinked her eyes, it turned out it wasn't a dream. He was still there.

"Give me one reason why I should do that?" Dempsey entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"I saw you driving away!" Harry was totally confused now. She knew what she had seen. Did he turned around or what?

"Yes, I parked the car behind. Abbott asked me to do that so it would be easier for your father when he arrived later. You thought I took Sophia with me and left you behind?" he added.

Harry could only nodding her head.

"Yeah, I'm sorry" she whispered softly avoiding to look at him. This was so embarrassing.

"Is that why you're packing? And making all this mess?" Dempsey asked a little angry.

When Harry looked around in the room, she couldn't blame him that he was mad at her. Clothes laid everywhere on the ground, the two tumbled bags, she had pushed aside with her foot, laid in a corner, and the bag that had been standing on the bed, laid up side down on the ground now.

"I'm sorry. I...." She bend over to pick up the bag from the ground and almost lost her balance.

"You stupid woman!" Dempsey grabbed her arm.

"You sit down and I'll clean up here" he said, pushing her down on the bed.

"Where's Sophia?" Harry asked carefully noticing that he was alone and that there was no sign of their daughter.

"That's another thing. Why did you leave our daughter alone in here?"

"I was looking for you"

"That's not an answer. Can you imagine what I thought when I came back here and I saw Sophia sitting on the bed but there was no sign of you?"

"I didn't think of that"

"No, obvious you didn't. What's the matter with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you been so irresponsible all the time since she was born or is it just something from the last 10 weeks?"

Harry opened her mouth to say something but no word came out.

"Well?" Dempsey asked with his back to her putting more clothes back in the closet.

But Harry still couldn't say anything. Did he really think that this was a habit of hers?

"Can you just say yes or no?" Dempsey turned around to look at her.

"What do you want me to say? I guess that what ever I say, you will think the opposite way"

"Maybe you realise then how I feel when I make an innocent comment and you believe that I do it on purpose"

Harry swallowed. That had been the argument between them where in fact this all had started.

"I don't know what to say" Harry finally admitted.

"Let's forget it"

Speechless Harry watched how Dempsey put the last clothes back into the closet and the bags on top of it. She had never expected that he would give in so easily.

"I'm starving. What about breakfast?"

"Sounds good to me"

"Let's go then. Or do you want to get dressed first?"

Oh shit, Harry thought. She was still walking around in her robe.

"I guess so. Give me 10 minutes"

But 10 minutes became half an hour. She was still not used to the fact that taking a shower and getting dressed took much more time than before. When she entered the room with her pyjamas in her hand, she found Dempsey sitting in one of the chairs reading a magazine.

"I'm sorry" she started to apologize: "I thought you would be downstairs by now"

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere without you" He said, standing up from the chair and walking up to her. When he stood in front of her, he took her chin in his hands.

"Sophia is downstairs in the kitchen. I'm sure she'll have a great time in there helping Abbott. That will give us some time...." and before Harry realised what he had in mind, she felt his lips kissing hers. Harry felt her body reacting immediately, but this wasn't the time nor the place. Firmly she grabbed Dempsey's shoulders and pushed. With great hesitation, Harry could feel it in every inch of his body, he broke the kiss. When she looked up at him, she saw disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm really starving Dempsey"

"Yes me too"

"Food. Remember?"

"Why don't we get dessert first?" he winked.

"I want breakfast or...."when she looked down at her watch: "I think it will be lunch again" referring to what had happened last week when they had been forced to skip breakfast as well.

"Okay Princess. Breakfast, lunch or what ever it will be"


	51. Chapter 51

_2 hours later_

After having lunch, Dempsey and Harry were in the library now waiting on Lord Winfield's arrival. Sophia was sitting on Dempsey's lap and he was reading her a story. He had wrapped his arms around her holding the book in front of them. On Sophia's request they had chosen a book about '_Thomas the Tank Engine'_. He had never heard of it, but if he had to believe Harry, and why shouldn't he, it was one of Sophia's favourites. Oh boy, he thought, he had so much to learn about his daughter.

"Thomas" Sophia said pointing out her little finger at one of the figures in the book.

"Yes that's Thomas" Dempsey guessed, having no idea if he had it right or wrong.

"No James" he heard Harry saying: "Thomas is the blue engine, this is Percy"

"Of course Percy" meanwhile he frowned at Harry and mouthed silently: 'Who the hell is Percy?'

Seeing the look on Dempsey's face, Harry started to laugh.

"I'm afraid you have to do a little research here James"

"I'm not used to read children books. You know that"

"Time to start today I guess. Shall we give him a lesson? What do you think?"

And when Sophia whispered' yes', Harry bent over to take the book out of Dempsey's hands. Their eyes met for a spit second of time before Harry turned her head away and paid her attention to the book. Sophia made herself even more comfortable on Dempsey's lap, resting her head against his chest.

"Look this is Percy and which engine is this?" Harry challenged Sophia.

"Edward"

"Good girl. And this?"

"That's Sir Topham Hatt"

"Who?" Dempsey got the impression that Harry started to make a joke of this all. Who named a person in a book like that? he wondered.

"That's the manager of the North Western Railway where all the trains belong to" Harry explained with an even bigger smile on her face.

After a while Dempsey gave up counting the enormous number of different trains which had passed by and be exactly named by Sophia. He had the feeling if his head was bursting. Even how hard he tried to keep concentrated. If his daughter would be able to name all the engines in the book without making a mistake, why was it so difficult for him then to remember which engine Harry had pointed out?

"I think you started to get a little lost here, am I right?" Harry smiled again when he named another engine wrong and Sophia corrected him immediately.

"Idiot" he heard Sophia saying.

"Thanks" Dempsey answered without thinking.

"James!" Harry warned him.

"What?"

"Didn't you hear what she said?"

"Yes, so?"

"She said idiot to you"

"So?" he repeated.

Harry couldn't imagine that Dempsey reacted this way.

"How did you react when someone else said that to you?" Harry tried, remembering how many times she had called him an idiot in the past.

She saw Dempsey frown his eyebrows before slowly something started to sink in.

"Sweetie" he took Sophia's chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.

"Mummy is right. You can't say that to me"

"Say what?"

"That word you used"

"Word?"

Had she indeed already forgotten what she had said or was she playing a game with him? Seeing how far she could go here? Dempsey had no idea. Hopeless he glazed at Harry, but she pretended not to see it. He was on his own in this, he realised. And he was also sure that Harry was enjoying this all tremendously. That she was curious to know how he would respond. Deep down inside he was also crucifying her. That little sphinx.

"Mummy and I, we don't like it as if you use the word idiot in this context"

"Context?" Sophia asked innocent.

"Yeah. It's not nice when you use this word to someone. Have I made myself clear?"

With her big brown eyes resting in his, it was very hard for him not to give in, especially when Sophia said: "You used it"

"When did I use it?" Dempsey asked really having no idea what she meant.

"Hmmmm" Sophia nodded her head and then softly continued: "Yesterday"

For a short moment of time, Dempsey was speechless. Wow, he thought. She had made a point here. How could he react on this now?

"That was in another context. In the future, not Mummy, or me and certainly not you, will use that word again. I don't want to hear it anymore. Okay?"

"Okay" It didn't sound very convinced, but at least it was a start.

"And now it's time for a nap. I'll bring you to bed"

"No!" Immediately Sophia's mood changed. She yelled that she didn't want to go to bed. With her little wrists she tried to punch Dempsey.

"Ho there" he took one of the wrists in his hand: "We don't do that either"

"Mummy!" Now that it was obvious that Dempsey wouldn't give in, Sophia turned to Harry. But Harry didn't give in either and it didn't take long before Sophia also realised that. Wrapping her arms around Dempsey's neck she was already half asleep when he reached the little girls bedroom.

"Goodnight Sweetie" he whispered before he switched the light off.

When Dempsey was halfway the stairs, he saw Abbott crossing the hallway on his way to the front door.

"Lord Winfield has just arrived Mr. Dempsey" he said, opening the door to let Harry's father in. Dempsey walked down and waited till the other man went inside.

"James! How good to see you"

"Nice to see you too Freddy"

Dempsey took the man's hand in his to shake it. Harry also had noticed that her father had arrived and the two men turned around when they heard her saying: "Daddy"

"Harriet, my dear"

Dempsey saw a flicker of pain in Harry's eyes when she hobbled in her father's direction leaning heavily on her stick. She was still recovering from that climbing up and down the stairs earlier. He also observed that the old man felt a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. For the first time, the old man was confronted with Harry's condition and what everything had done to her. And that it had a great impact on the man was obvious. For Dempsey it was still a mystery why Freddy hadn't paid Harry a visit when she laid in the hospital and now in the rehabilitation centre. Had there indeed been some talk here of guilt? And in what way then? He also saw Harry biting her lip, as if she didn't feel comfortable with the whole situation as well. What had been going on between father and daughter since he had been in New York? Freddy and Harry had always been very close, very fond of each other, but the way they were approaching each other now, it was if they were total strangers.

To support Harry, Dempsey put his arm around her shoulders. He felt a little shiver going through her when he did that.

"Harry is still a little instable from time to time"

"I'm not!" He heard her saying till his total surprise, pushing his arm away.

Dempsey tried to ignore the hurt feeling deep down inside him. Why was she reacting like this? He only wanted to help her here!

"I'm not instable. I can walk perfectly!"

What was she trying to prove now? Dempsey thought. And to whom? She doesn't have to convince him. Does she think she needed to convince her father? To show him that she was still that independent woman as she had been before? Had she still not learnt that everything had changed? Why? The more he thought about it, the more questions crossed his mind. Hopefully later today he would get some answers. One way or another.


	52. Chapter 52

"I'll see you two later in the library" Lord Winfield said, disappearing upstairs followed by Abbott with some suitcases.

In total silence, Dempsey and Harry walked back to the library where they had sat before. The book he had read to Sophia laid on the floor if Harry just had dropped it there when she had heard her father coming in. When Dempsey had closed the door of the library behind them he turned to Harry who picked the fallen book off the ground and pretended if she had great interest in reading it as well. But Dempsey knew her better. This was just a way so that she didn't need to talk to him about what had just happened in the hallway. But it wouldn't work, not this time!

"What was that all about?" Dempsey asked, taking the book out of her hands and lying it on table out of reaching distance.

"Give me that book back!" Harry ordered not answering his question.

"No. Where are you so afraid off?"

"I'm not afraid!"

"Well I get the impression you are"

"Well you have it wrong then!" Slowly Harry started to become angry.

"I don't need this!" she added.

"Need what?"

"A lecture from you about my behaviour"

"I'm not......"

But Dempsey got no time to finish, because at that moment Lord Winfield entered the room. Immediately he noticed a change in Harry. She didn't look at her father, stared at her hands and played nervously with her fingers. He also saw the sad look in the old man's eyes which he tried to hide when his eyes met Dempsey's but failed miserably. What the hell was going on here? Last week, when he and Harry had talk about going to Winfield Hall, he got the impression that she wanted it as much as he did. Has she perhaps only done this because of him? But why?

"Sit down James, do you want something to drink?"

"No thanks, all I want are some answers"

"Answers?" Lord Winfield asked, frowning his eyebrows.

"Yeah answers" Dempsey repeated, sitting down next to Harry on the sofa. He wanted to lay his arm around Harry's shoulders, but she pushed his arm away and slipped out of his grip.

"What kind of answers do you want?" Lord Winfield tried to ignore what he had been forced to see what was going on between Dempsey and Harry.

"Why you were able to reach me after all these years and Harry obvious couldn't"

Surprised Lord Winfield stared at the man sitting in front of him. Then his gaze turned over to his daughter who had clenched her hands together now.

"Wasn't it worth doing it?"

"That's not what I asked"

"She never told you?" Lord Winfield asked a little hesitated.

"Told me what?"

"About Sophia?"

"Yes she told me last week everything about our daughter......and son, but that's not the answer I'm searching for here"

"Then _where_ are you searching for?"

Dempsey stood up from the sofa and pointed a finger in Harry's direction.

"She told me that she had tried everything to contact me but failed. But obvious you hadn't had any difficulties at all. How would you explain that?"

"It wasn't easy, but after I had explained everything to your superior, what's his name...."

"O'Grady" Dempsey filled in.

"Yeah after I told your boss about what had happened here, he gave me your phone number without any hesitation"

"But you told me" Dempsey had turned to Harry: "You had phoned the NYPD and they wouldn't give you my number"

While saying that a terrible thought crossed his mind, a thought he didn't want to think about. It was too terrible if that was true, but he had to know.

"Harry? Did you perhaps never try to reach me when I went back to New York?"

He watched her jumping up from the sofa almost immediately. Forgetting that she wasn't able to do that. He heard her groaning.

"How do you dare to say that!" she said with a voice filled with tears she hard to hold back.

"I'm sorry I...." Dempsey felt miserable. Again he had hurt Harry with his words and said something before thinking.

"Don't touch me!" he heard her saying, slapping his hand away when he wanted to grasp her. Helpless he saw her picking up her stick and walk out of the room slamming the door behind her. His first thought was to run immediately after her, but Lord Winfield took his arm to hold him back.

"I think it's better that you stay here"

"But..."

Lord Winfield nodded his head: "Going after her now would only make things worse. Let her come to her sense for awhile. She'll realise then that you had all the right to ask her that question"

Dempsey wasn't convinced at all that he was doing the right thing in here. He wanted to talk to Harry, making it up with her, telling her that he had no doubts about her, but on the other hand: maybe it was better to let her think things over first before he would storm after her.

"Sit down"

Dempsey did what he was ordered and accepted the drink the man offered him seconds later.

"I think you'll need this"

Taking a glass with vodka himself, he sat down on the sofa next to Dempsey where Harry had been sitting earlier.

"Did Harry tell you that she stayed here that first week after you had been forced to go back to New York?"

"Yeah. I'm still wondering if you knew back then that she was pregnant when I left her" That had been one of the questions that had crossed Dempsey's mind since he came back.

"No I didn't"

"You didn't know it either?" Dempsey asked wondered.

"The first three days she stayed over here, I wasn't around. Later I heard from Abbott that she had been crying all the time. You know my daughter, always pretending she's strong and independent, even if she isn't"

"I thought she had learned something these last 2 years"

"Maybe she does, sometimes, but, forgive me that I'm saying it, obvious not when you are around"

Dempsey turned his glass around in his hands.

"She doesn't have to prove anything to me, she must know that by now"

"You know that, I know that, but deep down inside she thinks that you are still seeing her only as the woman who you met the first time. When Gordon forced you two to work together"

"But I have changed. She has changed. We are total different people now"

"James? Did Harry also tell you, besides the fact that you became a father, what happened here during the three days she stayed here on her own?"

"Happened? What do you mean?"

"Did you try to reach Harry here at Winfield Hall when you went back and you couldn't reach her at home during that time?"

"I can't remember" That was true. Harry had asked him the same question last week and how hard he tried to remember this week if he had phone her here, he still had no idea if he did or didn't.

"After the three days Harry had spent here alone, I came over from London to be with her. I knew how close you two became. That you almost moved in with her and I can imagine how hard it must have been for the two of you to hide your relationship and for you that you had no other choice than to leave her"

"Why? What do you mean? Had the fact that I was forced to leave her such a great impact on her that she couldn't deal with it? Is that what you are pretending to say?"

Lord Winfield felt silence for a short moment of time. When he saw Dempsey looking at him with great concern in his eyes, he made a decision. If Harry would like it or not, he had to tell the other man the whole story.

"The last time you and Harry were here together, you must have noticed that I had more personnel around. Besides Abbott I mean"

When Lord Winfield didn't continue and fell silent again, Dempsey realised that the other man had been forced to go back in time. To a time he didn't want to go back to, but had to.

"Do you remember that I had a personal assistant who looked after me?"

"Yeah, what was his name....Charles or something like that"

"It was indeed Charles. I wished I had never hired him!"

"Why not?" Dempsey could see at Lord Winfield's face what a great impact only mentioning the man's name had at the old man.

"Because I had never realised what he was capable of. He worked hard, helped me with everything and I really thought I could trust him. So when Harry wanted to stay here at Winfield Hall after you had gone, I phoned Charles to go with her. Abbott insisted on going with them as well. Back then I had no idea why, but later he told me that he had had some suspicious already. I wished he had told me before!"

"Suspicions? Suspicions about what?"

"That he was in love with Harry"

Dempsey almost dropped his glass with vodka. Astound he tried to let the news sink in.

"In love with Harry?" he repeated the words Lord Winfield had said to him. As if saying them aloud would make it more understandable.

"Oh I must say he acted like a real pro. Was very concern about Harry, drove her here to Winfield Hall, helped her, did everything for her. The first night Harry phoned me, everything seemed to be normal, but then the second night I could feel that something had changed. Of course I asked her about it, but she refused to tell. She said only that she didn't feel well but that nothing was wrong with her. Even then she didn't tell me she was pregnant and that she felt sick every morning"

"And you never discovered it when you were here either?" How could that happen? Dempsey thought.

"No, but by the time I arrived here it seemed I met a total stranger. The girl that I named my daughter, wasn't my daughter anymore. She closed herself up in her room, hardly wanted to speak to me. I had no idea why, because in my opinion I hadn't done anything wrong but it was obvious that she didn't want to be around me anymore"

Something must have happened during the two days she had been on her own with Charles and Abbott, but what? Was that also still a misery for Lord Winfield or did he knew more? Dempsey was afraid to push the man who was still living in the past. In his idea it took ages before he continued.

"That same morning after my arrival here, I went over to her room to talk to her. I knocked on her door. First she didn't want to let me in, but finally opened the door. She hesitated when I asked her if I could come in. Then she gave in. I walked over to her bed and sat down. She stood at the window. I remember that I wondered why she didn't get dressed by then. It was around 12 and she was still walking around in her robe. Grabbing it firmly around her. Later I realised why she had done that, because she was afraid that I would discover she was pregnant. Well anyway, I tried to get through that barrier she had built around her. Talked about you, asked her if she knew how you were doing at that moment, but she didn't answer me. Only stared out of the window. I had never seen her so awful in my entire life. Even after her mother died, she was sad but not so despaired as she was now. I still thought it was because of you. I asked her then if Charles had done what I had ordered him to do, to look after her. I have never seen someone's mood change so quickly. Within a second she had turned around. With a red face and dark eyes she said: 'Never mention that man's name to me again'. Of course I had no idea where she was talking about. And then she told me something I will never forget in my life"

Dempsey could hardly breathe. What the hell had she told her father?

"Charles had been upstairs. Waited till he had seen Abbott leaving the house to go to the market to do some shopping. Hardly Abbott had been away before Charles took his chance. He knocked at Harry's door saying that he had to tell her something. She opened the door, thinking that perhaps he had a message from you, but before she knew it, he had pushed her inside. Of course Harry started to scream, but nobody heard her, because nobody was there. He said that she was finally his, now that you had left her. And that she doesn't have to make herself any illusions about you coming back. He pushed her down on the bed, she started to fight as a tiger, but he was too strong for her. I guess, she was also too afraid to lose the baby if she didn't cooperate"

"Cooperate?" Dempsey whispered softly, feeling mentally sick: "Cooperate to do what?"

"James....." The old man laid a hand on Dempsey's arm: "Charles raped her, he forced her to sleep with him"


	53. Chapter 53

Dempsey swallowed hard. It was if his world had fallen apart. Harry had slept with someone else when she had been carrying his children! No, he corrected himself, she hadn't slept with another man, she had been forced to go to bed with someone else, that was a total different thing. Now he also understood why she was so afraid to make love to him. But what about that secret of hers, that she had told him and from which she had made him promise not to tell further? To nobody. Had that been one big lie? Or had she told him that to protect herself so that she wouldn't have to admit the truth?

Seeing what kind of impact his words had on the other man, Lord Winfield felt probably even worse.

"After Harry had told me everything, I called the police. They searched everywhere but they couldn't find a spore of Charles anymore. First we thought that he had hid himself somewhere around Winfield Hall, but he didn't. He just disappeared. Till now, we have no idea where he is. Harry doesn't want to talk about it anymore. But I can feel, she's blaming me for what happened to her. And I understand that. If I were her, I would have done the same. I hired Charles, I left her alone with him, but I never expected it would turn out this way. Once you warned me for him, I thought he had changed, but he hadn't. After your warning there was only one thing he was after now: revenge. Maybe you also understand now, why I didn't visit her in the hospital. And now at the rehabilitation centre either. It wouldn't have done her health any good if I had shown up in there. The only things I could do for her, was to phone the staff every day and ask about how she was doing, to pay the rent for that apartment of yours and to get her a private room in the hospital. But I believe, that last one wasn't such a good idea"

A little smile crept over Dempsey's face when he thought back at the conversation he and Harry had had about that room.

"She hated it" he admitted.

"I thought so" was all Lord Winfield said.

"Suppose I tried to contact Harry here back then. Would it be possible that Charles picked up the phone promising that he would pass my new phone number in New York to Harry, that he phoned O'Grady to tell him that Harry wasn't interested in me anymore, because she was with him now, but that in fact he had used it just to drive us apart so that the way laid open for him to do what he had in mind? Probably for a very long time already? It's just an idea. I wished I could remember if I made that phone call or not!"

"I never thought about that possibility. I think you must be a cop for that"

"Maybe" The more Dempsey thought about it, the more he got convinced. He only wished he could prove it.

"Did Charles leave all his belongings behind?"

"Most of them yes. Why?" But Lord Winfield got a feeling why he had asked that.

"I can show you his room if you want. Then you can search it yourself" he volunteered: "But I don't think you'll find in there what you are looking for. If he had been so smart to plan everything so carefully, why should he make such a big mistake then by leaving a note with your phone number on it behind?"

"Even the biggest criminals make mistakes" Dempsey answered.

"Well what are we waiting for then?"

"I don't want to do it without Harry. She has a right to know, perhaps even more than I do"

Lord Winfield smiled. When he had made that phone call to New York 10 weeks ago, he hadn't had the foggiest idea if he had done the right thing. Now he knew, he did and that he was glad that Harry had James back to stay by her side. He could only hope that one day Harry would forgive him that he had hired Charles.

"I'll see if I can find Harry. I guess she's upstairs by Sophia"

Dempsey saw the face of the old man turning in an even bigger smile.

"You two brought my granddaughter with you?"

"Yes we did. When was the last time you have seen her?"

"When she was 14 days old"

Lord Winfield avoided Dempsey's gaze, feeling real uncomfortable about the fact that it had been such a long time since he had hold his only grandchild.

"Come with me then"

Together the two men went upstairs.

"Harry?" Dempsey opened the door of the bedroom, but when he walked inside he discovered that the room was empty.

"Harry?" he repeated. This time pushing the door to Sophia's bedroom open, but all he saw inside was his daughter who looked up at him. No Harry.

"Where's Mummy Sweetie?"

But the girl didn't answer. Only stretched her arms out to him. She wanted to go out. In her opinion she had spend long enough in bed.

Dempsey lifted her up so she could sit on his arm.

"Look who I brought with me" he started, turning around to Lord Winfield who had followed him into Sophia's bedroom.

But the little girl buried her head against Dempsey's shoulder.

"She didn't recognise me anymore" Lord Winfield said sadly.

"It's Granddaddy"

"Oh please James, don't call me Granddad....I'm Freddie. Otherwise it seems to me I'm old and buried already"

"Old yes, buried no"

"I'm not old!"

Where had Dempsey seen and heard such an attitude before?????

"Alright. Freddy. Can you take care of her for awhile? I have to find Harry"

"Of course. Come on little girl. I'm sure Abbott will have something special for you in the kitchen!"

Dempsey handed Sophia over to Freddie. With great hesitation the little girl swept her arms around his neck. It was obvious that all these strange men who appeared lately in her life made her feel if she was just a piece of furniture that could be handed over from one person to another without taking any acknowledge of her feelings as a human being.

10 minutes later Dempsey found himself still searching for Harry. He had opened all the doors to the rooms upstairs in the meantime, yelled her name, but there was no sign of her. He had no luck downstairs either. And by the time he had reached the kitchen he was so worried that he smashed the kitchen door open without thinking at the consequences.

"I can't find her!" he yelled desperately to the man who was sitting at the kitchen table.

Immediately someone started to cry. Shit, he thought, he had done it again. For a second time he had made his little girl cry with his behaviour.

"I'm sorry Sweetie" he knelt down next to her, lifting his hand up to her face to wipe the tears away.

"Please don't cry" he whispered.

Deep down inside he wished he would be able to cry so easily. Harry seemed to do nothing else these days and now Sophia made a habit of it as well. He felt always so lousy in this kind of situations.

"I have searched the whole house, but she's nowhere. Where the hell can she be?"

"You're looking for Lady Harriet?"

Abbott asked, turning around.

"Yes, do you know where she is?"

"She went outside. Some time ago"

"Outside? Why?"

"Don't know. I didn't ask"

"Did she tell where she was going?"

"No"

Great. A whole area outside where she could be. But with only having her stick with her she couldn't be far away. Could she?

"I think that I know where she was going"

Lord Winfield interrupted Dempsey's thoughts.

"You do?" That would be a miracle.

Standing up from his chair, Lord Winfield walked over to the window and winked Dempsey to stay next to him. When he looked outside, he knew he had been right. Dempsey followed the man's gaze and to his surprise he saw a figure standing not far away from the house.

"What the hell is she doing out there?" Dempsey asked.

Lord Winfield didn't answer him immediately as if he was wondering himself what his daughter was doing there in the middle of nowhere.

"You will find out as soon as you get there" was all Lord Winfield answered.

With a puzzled look on his face, Dempsey turned around and left the kitchen. Unaware of the fact that two men standing behind the window of the kitchen followed him with their gazes, Dempsey went outside putting his jacket on, on his way down the stairs. What was this all about? Even more surprises? Too be honest, he had had enough of them today. Correction, he had had enough of them for the rest of his life!

Slowly he approached Harry who stood completely still. She was looking at something, but Dempsey couldn't figure out from that distance what it could be. The grass under his feet was still a little wet from yesterday's rain. He shivered, it was colder than he had expected. When he came near Harry, he saw that she was only wearing a blouse and trousers. No jack, no vest, nothing. When she got a cold, he already knew who got to be blamed for that. After opening a little gate, from which he even didn't know it had been there and looking around, he realised that he had reached a little grave yard. Reading some of the names on the graves, which all ended on the name 'Winfield' it was obvious that these graves belonged to Harry's dead family members. What the hell was she doing here on this hour of the day? Silently he came closer, trying not to scare her, because Dempsey had no idea if she had heard him coming or not. Till he stood next to her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly, taking his jacket from his shoulders and hanging it around hers.

"I had to" he heard her saying and without even looking at him, she searched for his hand, laid her hand in his and squeezed it firmly.

"Why?"

"Because it would be time"

"Time for what?"

"To see it and for you as well"

"See what?"

He only felt Harry's hand squeezing his even harder.

"This"

With her stick she pointed at something in front of her. Dempsey hadn't paid any attention to it so far. He had been more concerned about Harry than aware of the surrounding, but now he looked down. Before he realised it, he was forced to face the little blue grey stone that laid in front of them. But it wasn't exactly the stone that shocked him the most, is was more the inscription that was written on it 'James Alfred Makepeace' followed by the date of birth and the day he died. When Dempsey knelt down, he found another, smaller, inscription on the stone with the words 'Beloved son of James Dempsey and Harriet Makepeace, brother of Sophia Makepeace'

Still holding Harry's hand Dempsey stretched his hand out and softly stroked with his fingers over James's name. Tears welled up in his eyes when he looked up to Harry when his eyes met hers.

"It's perfect" was all he could come up with.

"No" Harry shrugged her shoulders.

"No?"

"No. It's not perfect"

"It seems to be perfect to me"

He saw her shiver.

"Will you please hold me?"

"Sure"

He wrapped his arms around her and hold her tight against his body with resting his chin on her shoulder.

"There's something wrong"

"Wrong?" He couldn't imagine that something was wrong. Where was she talking about?

"Yes" and with despair in her voice he heard her saying: "The names on the stone should have been 'James Alfred Dempsey' and 'Sophia Dempsey"


	54. Chapter 54

They stood there for at least another 5 minutes. They didn't say a word. Both lost in their own thoughts but trying to support the other. Harry knew for sure that her father had told Dempsey everything by now about what had happened during her stay at Winfield Hall back then. He hadn't brought the subject up yet which surprised her. Maybe he was too overwhelmed with what he had discovered that he had to let the news sink in first. But she knew that they had to talk about it later. And she was afraid how he would react.

Dempsey on the other hand had still the illusion he was dreaming. That when he woke up it would have all been just a bad dream. If she had lost the babies because of it, would someone had ever told him then that Harry had been pregnant at all? He had his doubts about that. Probably he would have never seen Harry again. Only thinking about it, give him the creeps. They had to talk about it, but he had no idea how.

Dempsey felt Harry leaning against him more and more when time passed by. She had even laid her hands over his to steady herself.

"Let's go inside" he suggested when he heard her breathe very heavily.

"No"

"Harry come on. This is ridiculous, you can hardly stand anymore"

"I'm not weak!"

"I would never say that" Dempsey realised that he must be very careful not to say the wrong words again. Why was she always so stubborn and not just admit that she was exhausted?

"Then let me stay"

"No way. You come with me. We can go back here tomorrow if you wish, but for now you have been here long enough"

"I don't want to go away"

"Sweetheart" he turned her around in his arms to look at her: "I'm glad you showed me Little James grave, but I'm sure the little guy never wanted that his mother collapsed on his grave and that will happen if you stay here any longer"

Dempsey saw her hesitated for a second. Her looks switched between the grave and him and then back to the grave.

"I had never visited his grave since we had buried him. My father took care of everything. He chose the gravestone, the inscription, everything" she said sadly: "I couldn't do it"

"If you want to change the gravestone and believe me I would love to see Little James and Sophia's real name on that stone, we'll let it change. But that's up to you. I would never rush you in this"

"I know, thank you" it came out as a little whisper.

Dempsey took Harry's face in his hands and looked her straight in the eyes.

"You have done what you thought was right back then. From now on, we will make these decisions together. Okay?"

When Harry didn't react, he repeated: "Okay?"

Harry nodded her head and said: "I'm sorry"

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"What Charles have done to me"

"Will you stop with blaming yourself! You didn't do anything wrong"

"But I let it happen"

"From what your father told me, he forced you to do it. And I don't want to talk it anymore, before we are inside the house. This is not the place to discuss these things"

"Afraid that Little James could hear us?"

Astound Dempsey opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out.

"You don't believe me. I can see it"

"And you do?" he finally said with great difficulties.

"Yes"

"You can't be serious"

Harry turned her head. She knew how it must sound, but since Little James had died, strange things had happened in and around her house, things she couldn't explain.

"When you staid in my house, didn't you notice something?"

"Noticed what?"

"Lights which go on when you didn't switch them. Things lying on a different place as where you put them?"

Dempsey shook his head. This was ridiculous.

"You're not going to tell me that you believe that Little James......."

"You never had these experiences?" Harry interrupted him.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but no"

She should have known it. It had just happened in her imagination. She probably wanted so much that Little James was still around that she had clung to every inexplicable thing. Hoping that the little guy laid behind it.

"Maybe you're right" he heard her saying, but it didn't sound convinced.

"Now it's enough" Dempsey said firmly when he saw her almost tumbling down: "You need to sit down"

For Harry it was very difficult to leave Little James behind. Now that she had finally made it to the grave, she wanted to stay longer, but she knew Dempsey was right. Especially when she wanted to walk and her right leg didn't want to do what she wanted. She groaned and grab Dempsey's arm.

"Are you alright?" he asked worried, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"I don't know"

Helpless she tried to do another step, without any luck.

"My whole leg has stiffened" she announced, rubbing her leg with her hand.

Without saying a word, Dempsey lifted Harry up in his arms.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it looks like?'

"You can't do that!"

"Will you stop arguing? I bring you inside. End of discussion" he added when he saw that Harry opened her mouth to say something.

In total silence, Harry laid her head against Dempsey's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. For Dempsey it was a torture on its own. Holding Harry in his arms like this, feeling her breath on his cheek but not been able to touch her the way he wanted the most. He tried hard not to think about it and to concentrate himself. When they reached the front door till his total surprise the door opened immediately.

"I saw you two coming" was all Abbott said, sharing a meaningful glance with Dempsey.

"Thanks" Harry whispered. Instantly she realised that both her father as Abbott knew where they had been. For both men it must have been a relief that she had visit Little James grave for the first time. And even more that she had done it in the company of the father.

When Dempsey had reached the library, he walked over to the sofa and laid Harry down on it. He stretched his back which didn't keep unnoticed by Harry.

"I'm too heavy for you"

"No you are not. I'm not used to it anymore. Maybe I need to do it more often" he joked looking down on her.

Harry didn't know where to look. A little blush crept over her cheek.

"I won't make a habit of it" she said, trying hard to keep her composure. Especially when Dempsey bent over her to steady himself with putting his arms at both sides of Harry's body.

"You can make a habit of it every time" he whispered softly. But before he was able to do what he had in mind the door flew open. Harry tried not to laugh when she saw her father entering the room and the reaction of Dempsey to this. Jumping up almost immediately before he stood next to the sofa with an expression of quilt on his face. Like a schoolboy who had been caught doing something inappropriate.

"Ha, here you two are" Lord Winfield closed the door behind him.

"Did you tell Harry that you wanted to search Charles room and see if you can find something in there?" Lord Winfield started.

"No" Dempsey felt Harry staring at him, but he tried to avoid her gaze.

"What do you want to search the room for?"

"To see if I......we" he corrected himself: "Can find some evidence in there"

In the meantime Dempsey had put his hands in his pockets and seemed to be far away with his thoughts.

"James? Where are you up to?" Harry asked, stretching her hand out. Carefully she laid it on his arm, bringing him back to reality by doing it.

"If he had planned it all the time"

"Planned it? Planned what?"

It became stranger every minute that passed by. What had crossed Dempsey's mind when her father had told him about Charles? Was he perhaps so despaired that he wanted to find an explanation why Charles had raped her in the first place? But hadn't the local police searched Charles room back then and hadn't they come up with nothing? What does he hope to find in that room?

When the answer came, Harry was so surprised that she had to lean back on the sofa and closed her eyes.

"I think he did it on purpose. Just to split us up"


	55. Chapter 55

After Dempsey had ordered Harry to take some rest and he and Lord Winfield had left the room, Harry wrapped herself in the blanket Dempsey had given her, to get some sleep. But as soon as she closed her eyes, it seemed that a film started to play. She could see herself lying on her bed with Charles bending over her. How she had fought to free herself, but failed. And how she let it happen as soon as she had realised that one of them had to give in and that it wouldn't be her. If she had told her father and Charles earlier that she was expecting, would it have been different? Why had she hid it for them? She was still blaming herself about that although she knew why she had done it. Out of fear. Fear that when she told someone about it, most of her family members would have judged her. Getting pregnant before being married was for most of her family members a very hot issue. Something that wouldn't be appreciated. But it hadn't brought her anything any way. She hadn't spoken to her father for more then 2 years, had almost lost the love of her life and now James suggested that Charles perhaps had planned the rape for a very long time already. Had she been so concentrated on James' departure and fear that he wouldn't come back if he found out that she was pregnant that she had missed the signs that Charles had given away? She guessed so. Otherwise she couldn't find a reason that she had misread that man so completely. After considering this, she turned to her left side and felt asleep.

One hour later Dempsey carefully opened the door carrying a plate and a glass of water. He had eaten in the kitchen already together with Lord Winfield and Sophia. Afterwards he had read Sophia a bedtime story and put her in bed. The little girl had been so exhausted that she had fallen asleep already before he had left the room. He put everything on the table and walked over to the sofa. As if Harry felt his presence, she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Hi Princess. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. What's that I smell?" she sniffed when the aroma of the food reached her nose.

"I don't know exactly what it is, but it's delicious. Abbott made it. Do you want it already?"

"Yes, I'm starving"

Giving her the plate she pushed herself up in a sitting position. After she had taken her first mouthful, Dempsey sat down next to her.

"What about you?" she asked surprised, putting something more in her mouth.

"I have already eaten"

"Oh"

Harry couldn't hide the disappointment out of her voice. For the second time this weekend she had ruin a family dinner for him.

"It doesn't matter" he assured her seeing the look on her face: "We can do it all over again next weekend. Together with Sophia"

"James?" Harry started taking a zip from her water and swallowed very heavy.

"Yes, what's the wrong?"

"There's something I wanted to ask you over and over again these last couple of days"

"Go ahead. What do you want to know?" he tried to encourage her seeing that she became a little nervous.

"When....when was the last time you saw Michael?"

It came out of the blue and he hadn't been prepared for it. He had expected that she wanted to know something about his suspicions about Charles but not this. Where the hell did that come from? Dempsey thought.

"I don't know" he shrugged his shoulders: "More than two weeks ago or so. Why?"

"Two weeks? But you said that you visited him almost every day!"

"Listen Harry. These last few weeks I really had no time for him" he answered agitated.

"How do you think he feels about that?" Harry continued.

"Don't know"

"Well I think I know exactly how he feels"

"Oh yeah. And how do you think he's feeling in your opinion?"

"Betrayed. At least, that's how I would feel if I were him"

"Come on Harry. He knows that I would only visit him when I have time for him"

"Exactly. You told me last week that every time you left him, he cried. That he wanted to go home with you, to be with you and what are you doing? The only friend he has in this whole wide world, the only one he trust, let him down as well. He's just a kid James, you can't expect from him that he understands that you have more important things on your mind than to visit him. Can you imagine you should do the same when Sophia would be involved?"

"Of course not"

How could she say something like that?

"Then find some time to spend with him!"

"How do you want me to do that? I have a job to do, visiting you and..."

"That's not fair. That wasn't a problem for you before either. Why now? Are you sure you don't use it just as an excuse to stay away from him? No let me finish. If so, do you have plans to tell him everything or just disappear out of his life without letting him know why?"

Dempsey clenched his hands together. Deep down inside he had to admit that these last weeks he hadn't even thought about Michael at all! Why not? Was it because of Sophia? Had Harry been right last week? That now he had Sophia, that he didn't need Michael in his life anymore? That Michael indeed had been some substitute? That indeed wouldn't be fair. He knew it, but how could he change that?

"No I want to stay involved. It's just that I don't know how to do it anymore" he whispered: "You as a mother know exactly what to do. I have to learn all that kind of stuff. I don't even have an idea how to comfort my own daughter when she's crying!" he announced with despair in his voice.

"A child doesn't come with a manual James. I wished they came. It doesn't matter if you make mistakes. You'll learn from them like I did. Maybe it would have been better if I had told you this last week when you asked me to take Michael with us to Winfield Hall this weekend. But I guess I wasn't ready for it back then, but now I am. If you are able to find some time this week will you introduce me to Michael then? I really like to know him"

Dempsey couldn't believe his ears. Had she indeed said that she wanted to go with him to visit the little guy? Seeing how confused he was, Harry added something to what she had said.

"At least I think it would be fair to meet the little fellow when I'll spend so many hours to solve the case in which he's involved"

When Harry had finished her dinner she handed her empty plate over to Dempsey who placed it back on the table.

"Didn't you say that you wanted to search Charles room?" Harry said, hoping that Dempsey wouldn't return to the Michael subject anymore for today.

"Yes, do you want to do it now?"

"Yeah if that's alright with you?"

"Are you sure? Don't you want to wait till tomorrow?"

"No way" putting her hand in his so he could help her off the sofa.


	56. Chapter 56

"Harry? When did you tell your father you were pregnant?"

They were sitting in Charles' bedroom now next to each other on the bed.

"When I laid in the hospital"

"Why not before?"

"I couldn't. I hadn't seen him since I left here and Charles.....I haven't been to Winfield Hall either since it happened. To be here on my own.... it was so hard for me. But being together here with you, that changes everything. It makes things more bearable"

They both looked around in the room. It was obvious that the local police had searched the place. Spore of their investigations could be found everywhere. Clothes still laid on the ground, a table turned up side down and some powder on the desk as if they had searched for fingerprints on it. Since then nobody had entered the room. Now they both were glad that Lord Winfield hadn't ordered to clean up in here. That way they probably had a chance to find something. Doesn't matter what.

"Did you never ask SI10 for help?"

"Why should I?"

"I'm sure they would have found the man"

"Dempsey? It was a local thing, not SI10 business"

"Let me guess...you never told Spikings either what happened"

Oh in this he was really hopeless. Why didn't he understand that if she had done that, she had to tell everybody that she had been raped? It was better not to talk about it at all than to let the torn from the whole family coming over her.

"They keep the rape thing out of their report because they didn't know it"

"What?" he exasperated: "You didn't even tell the locals what really happened? I don't believe this. No wonder that they didn't do their best to find the man"

"They did their best, believe me"

Dempsey had his doubts about it but he thought it would be wiser not to mention it to Harry.

"Okay. Let me see. If you search the desk, I'll search the rest of the room"

After saying that, he walked over to the closet in the corner and knelt down to concentrate on a bag. Harry took a deep breath and sat at Charles' desk. She picked up some papers and laid them down immediately.

"James" Harry turned around in her chair: "Can you at least tell me where we are looking for?" she asked seeing him turn the contents of the bag on the bed.

"Evidence" he answered without looking at her.

"Evidence of what?"

"That I'm right"

"Can you be a little bit more specific?"

"A piece of paper or whatever with a number on it" he was still more concentrated on the bag so Harry got the impression that he wasn't listening at all to what she was asking.

Disappointed about his lack of interest she turned around again. A piece of paper with a number on it. What kind of number? A number of a safe, a deposit box? It was still a mystery to her. Five minutes passed by. Behind her she heard Dempsey opening some other doors of the closet and him muttering from time to time to himself.

"It must be somewhere in here"

Yeah, but where? Harry thought, opening another drawer of the desk. In it laid a big map. Wondering what that could be, she opened it. At the same moment she felt mentally sick. The map was filled with photos of her. Taken at all kind of occasions. There were even photos of her together with Dempsey. Immediately the words Dempsey had said earlier crossed her mind. That he thought that Charles had planned everything a long time ago already.

"James?" Harry whispered, unable to speak loudly.

"Did you find something?"

Dempsey turned around to look at her now. Seeing her sitting there with a face white as a sheet he stood in two steps beside her. Speechless she handed him the map, putting her arms on the desk and resting her head in her hands. Three photos felt on the floor. On one of them she was wearing a black evening dress. On the other a red one and on the last he recognised himself but his face had been marked if someone had tried to erase him from the photo.

"Have you ever seen these photos before?"

"Of course not"

"It's hard to believe that they didn't pay attention to them" Dempsey wondered, turning another photo around.

"Maybe they thought it were just photos which didn't mean anything" It was just a suggestion. None of the local police here had ever met Dempsey. Perhaps they thought that it had been just a guy she had been photographed with and they obvious hadn't asked her father either.

"Have you searched the rest of the desk?"

"I have yes"

"Did you look everywhere?"

"Dempsey?" she begged him now having a déjà vu about the last time they worked on a case at Winfield Hall and he had accused her from not being accurate enough.

"I even turned the drawers up side down this time" she added, which produced a little smile on his face. She knew that he thought back at the same occasion.

"No piece of paper perhaps with a phone number on it?" he asked disappointed.

"Phone number? Was that where we are searching for?"

"Yeah. I told you that"

"No you didn't. I found this, but I thought it didn't mean anything"

From under a bundle of paper, she found the little black book she had seen earlier with phone numbers in it. She watched Dempsey returning to the bed. With an obsessed look on his face he flipped through the pages.

"Where are you searching for?" she repeated.

No answer.

"Dempsey?" But it seemed that he didn't hear her.

Harry felt rejected and hurt. The search through Charles room had brought all the bad memories back. Memories from which she thought they laid behind her. And now Dempsey acted if she didn't exist for him anymore. She had expected more consideration, more sympathy from him, but so far he hadn't even brought the subject about the rape up. Why not? Why was finding a phone number more important to him than what had happened to her? She wondered.

With tears in her eyes she stood up from the chair. She tried hard to hold them back, but couldn't avoid that slowly some of them started to roll down over her cheeks. And with every second that passed by and Dempsey only seemed to be more fanatic, Harry became angrier. Till the moment came that she couldn't handle it anymore and she grabbed the little black book out of Dempsey's hand.

"He, what are you doing?" he asked surprised, looking up at her: "Will you stop this!" he added not knowing what he had done wrong in her eyes this time.

At the same moment he had said that, he also noticed that Harry wasn't herself anymore. That she was crying.

"What's the matter?" he asked real worried now.

With all the power she had in her right hand she throw the little black book in the corner of the room.

"Will you go after it?" she challenged him with a red face: "You! You are the matter! The only thing you can do is to concentrate yourself on that stupid black book. Did it never cross your mind how I feel about this all?"

"You agreed to go with me, you didn't have to!"

"Is that all you can say about it?"

"I need evidence Harry"

"Evidence? Evidence about what?"

"That I'm right"

"Right about what? That Charles was in love with me? Well let me tell you something: I figured that out myself already a long time ago. I don't need evidence about that!"

"That's not what I mean"

"Then what do you mean Dempsey? Evidence that he raped me? Don't you believe me?"

Helpless Harry stared at him. And Dempsey stared back.

"This is ridiculous"

"You say it"

Taking a deep breath Dempsey looked Harry straight in the eyes.

"You don't needed to throw that book away, I just wanted to show you something"

"Oh yeah? And what would that have been?"

Suspicious she watched him when he walked to the corner of the room and picked the book up from the ground.

"Here. Do you know what this is?" he asked her, pointing with his finger at a number at one of the pages. It was hardly readable, if Charles had written it down in a big rush.

"A number. So what? What's so important about a number? I have never seen this number before in my life"

"But I have. And do you know why Harry? Because it's a number in New York. Mine. It proves that I made a call to Winfield Hall more than 2 years ago. It also proves, that my suspicions were right. Charles had been clever enough not to mention my new phone number to you so that you wouldn't be able to reach me even if you wanted!"


	57. Chapter 57

"I think I need to sit down"

Dempsey wrapped his arm around Harry and guided her to the bed. Now both her legs couldn't hold her anymore.

"Are you sure?" She needed confirmation from him.

"Yes I'm sure. What do you think, that I don't recognise my own phone number anymore?"

"I'm a little confused here"

"Just a little?" he tried to make a joke of it to bring a little smile to Harry's face.

"But why did he do that?"

"Well, I guess because he was jealous of me"

"But that's not a reason to rape me? Is it?"

Dempsey took a seat next to Harry on the bed, taking her hands in his.

"Sweetheart I don't know why he did it. Maybe he was just jealous, maybe he did it to punish me and maybe..."

But before he was able to finish what he wanted to say, Harry interrupted him: "To punish you? Punish you for what?"

"I don't know"

The answer came so quickly, too quickly in Harry's opinion. What the hell was going on now?

"Why are you not honest with me in this? Why did Charles raped me, if he wanted to punish you? That doesn't make any sense. At least not to me"

First Dempsey wanted to continue with what he had said before, that he had no idea why Charles had raped her. But after considering this for a second, he knew that Harry had a right to know what had happened more then 2 years ago here at Winfield Hall.

"Do you remember that day when you father gave that party to all your family members? I believe, it was shortly after we got together as a couple"

"Of course" it has been one the highlights of her life. Finally they had been able to show their real feelings for each other without hiding.

"Well, that day I discovered something about Charles"

"You discovered something? What? And why did you never tell me about it?"

"I didn't want to upset you. I found him in one of the stables dealing drugs"

"What? Charles was a drugs dealer? Did you tell my father about it?"

"Yes I did, but I also told him that I gave Charles a warning. That if he wanted to continue to work here, he had to stop his activities. He assured me that it wouldn't happen again. Your father wanted to fire him, but I persuade him to give Charles one last chance. Your father gave in, really believing that the man had changed his life. Maybe he wasn't dealing anymore, but I think he already hated me so much by then that he was willing to do everything to let me pay for what I had done to him. The only way he could do that, is to keep me away from you. And when I returned to New York and you stayed here without having your father around, it was just the perfect opportunity for him to do what he had in mind. You told me that you hadn't mentioned your pregnancy back then to anybody, but I'm sure Charles must have noticed that you had changed and maybe even suspected that you were pregnant, the moment he raped you. That I tried to contact you here was of course something that had never crossed his mind, so the only thing he could do is not to mention my phone call to you, knowing that I would have taken the first flight back to London if you had told me what he had done to you. Maybe he was at that time in love with you or at least thought he was, considering all the photos of you we found in here, but that's something I can only guess. After the rape he disappeared. That was the best thing for him to do. Your father still blames himself for hiring Charles. And I still can't imagine that I have been so blind that I haven't seen right through him in the first place. I'm so sorry"

After Dempsey's confession, Harry had great difficulty letting all the news sink in.

"You put me in danger!" was all she could finally come up with starting to become real angry again: "I could have lost the babies because of you!"

"I know. I told you already that I'm sorry"

"Is that all you can say: I'm sorry! You could have prevented it, but you didn't. No, don't touch me" she yelled at him when she saw that he wanted to put his arms around her shoulders to comfort her.

"What do you want me to say? How awful I feel about it?"

"I hate you" Tears were running now heavily over her cheeks, she didn't care anymore.

Jumping up, groaning at the same time because of the pain in her leg, she walked to the door.

"And don't have the guts to follow me" she added turning around in the doorway before she disappeared smashing the door behind her.

After Harry had gone, Dempsey picked the little black book up from the ground and for the second time it ended up in the corner of the room.

"Damn" he yelled. Out of pure frustration the map with Harry's photos inside followed the same way.

First it had been Coltrane who had messed his life up, now Charles. Would it ever end? He had never expected that their weekend here together at Winfield Hall would end in such a disaster. He could imagine that Harry was mad at him. But did he really deserve that? He didn't think so. He needed to talk this out with her, before she did something they both regretted afterwards. But before he was able to leave the room, his instinct for being a cop took over. Without knowing exactly why he was doing it, he walked to the corner of the room and knelt down by the photos which had been fallen out of the map. It was if someone in the room forced him to push some photos aside till there was only one of them left. Carefully he turned it around expecting that this would be just another photo of Harry. But it wasn't a photo of Harry. Not even a photo of him and Harry together. It was a photo of Charles, but till his surprise he wasn't alone. There stood another person next to him. A person Dempsey had seen before and knew so well. This couldn't be true. But when he blinked his eyes, the photo was still there. With shaking hands he put the photo away in his pocket. Again he couldn't ignore the feeling if someone else was present in the room.

"Is anybody there?" he said firmly, knowing that it was ridiculous what he was doing, because of course there wasn't anybody else in the room except him.

But what if Harry was right? That he was able to feel Little James present now as well as she had done before?

"You really started to lose it in here James" he continued. Harry with her idiotic thoughts about ghosts!

But before he was able to close the door behind him, he felt a cold wind blowing around his head. Where the hell did that came from? Was it indeed one of Harry's ghosts of Winfield Hall or....? He didn't want to think about what had just crossed his mind and shut the door. Anyway he couldn't avoid that a little shiver run over his back when he rushed through the corridor on his way to find Harry.


	58. Chapter 58

Harry almost collapsed on her bed. Tears were streaming down her face. Angry she kicked with both her hands on the pillow. It wasn't fair. Why did she had to go through all this while Dempsey, her father and even Charles could live a normal life? Why wasn't that possible for her? Why not? It seemed that nobody understood her these days. Maybe she had been better off as she had died instantly after she had had that CVA. Then at least there hadn't been any suffering anymore. It wasn't something she had thought about before today. But now she did. For a very long time she could only cry. Not realising that in fact everything was a result of the self pity she felt deep down inside. By the time the sobs finally became weaker, she felt asleep almost immediately. Too exhausted from everything she had been going through that day.

Dempsey hoped to find Harry somewhere downstairs so he would be able to talk to her alone. But when he reached the library he was disappointed. She wasn't there. He only found Lord Winfield there reading a book. As soon as he saw Dempsey entering, he put the book down.

"Did you two find what you were looking for?" he asked with hope in his voice.

"We did" Dempsey said, who turned around and wanted to leave.

"And?"

"And what?" Dempsey wondered.

"Were you right about Charles?"

"Yes unfortunately I was"

Lord Winfield frowned his eyebrows. It was obvious that Dempsey had no intention to give more information away. Was this just a cop routine or what?

"Why won't you sit down for a minute?"

"I can't. I have to find Harry"

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?" Dempsey was still standing in the doorway not knowing how to end the conversation without being rude to the old man.

"There's something strange going on. I can feel it. One moment everything seems to be fine between the two of you, like this afternoon when you stood together at Little James grave, the next moment it's War. Is that a result of Harry's condition at the moment or what?"

"Nothing I can't handle" Dempsey tried.

"Well. Why do I get the impression that you _can't_ handle it anymore? Even if you say you can? Is my daughter given you a hard time?"

Dempsey had no idea how to answer that question. Helpless he looked at the old man before he walked up to him and took a seat.

"You are right about one thing. It's real hard these days to understand Harry"

"In what way?"

"Sometimes I have the impression that she would be better off without me. That she didn't want me having around anymore"

Lord Winfield immediately started to get worried. If Dempsey had even thought about that, what could he do then to change these thoughts?

"You don't plan to leave her, do you?" he asked, needing confirmation.

"No. But...We have to solve one problem after another since I returned. Sometimes I really have had it. Up to here" making a gesture to his throat.

"You told me this afternoon that you didn't know that Harry was pregnant when she was here. She said she didn't tell you before she laid in the hospital. Did you think that she became pregnant as a result of the rape? That she was carrying Charles baby and not mine?" he continued.

Lord Winfield didn't answer immediately and avoided looking at Dempsey.

"Why?" Dempsey added, now that he came this far, he had to know everything.

He heard the old man taking in a deep breath. As if he needed courage to continue.

"After Harry had told me about the rape, I begged her to contact you. I couldn't reach her anymore at that point and I was certain if she talked to you, you would understand her and helped her through it, but to my surprise she told me that you had left her. So you can't blame me that I thought that what Charles had told her back then wasn't truth. Besides: Harry doesn't know that I have seen Sophia and Little James once"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated: "But I thought...."

"I came across Angela, you know Harry's best friend?"

Dempsey could only nod his head. He didn't want to interrupt the other man.

"I asked her about the baby and she told me about Sophia and Little James. I was devastated, as you perhaps can imagine, couldn't believe it. Especially when she told me that Sophia was a little copy of you and that Little James more looked like Harry. That they laid in a incubator. So I visited the hospital. I could only watch them by standing behind a wall of glass. I'm glad I followed my instincts because the next day Little James died. That was the only time I had been able to see my grandchildren. Harry never wanted me to be around Sophia. I think, by doing that she's punishing me for what Charles did to her. I don't know if she had ever heard that I have been in the hospital. But that day I also realised something else. That during Harry's whole pregnancy I had been wrong about the father of her babies. That it wasn't Charles, but you!"

With tears in his eyes Dempsey had listen to the whole, sad, story.

"I'll assure you, from now on you'll be a part of Sophia's life" and perhaps I'm even able to give you a grandson after all, Dempsey thought to himself, but it was a little too early to speculate about that.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

"I don't think that Harry is as angry at you as you assumed she is" Dempsey suggested after awhile in which both men were lost in their own thoughts.

Surprised Lord Winfield turned his head around.

"Why do you think that?"

"Have you ever heard of that 'What's another year' song?"

"Wasn't that a Eurovision Contest song?"

"Maybe, I don't know that for sure. But I found a cassette with that song in Harry's bookcase under a lot of dust. I thought that it must have been a special tape for her to hide it there. And indeed, I played it over and over again. Now I think about it, the lyrics are not only related to me, but to you as well"

"You think so? Can you tell me the lyrics?"

Slowly Dempsey started to whisper. When he finished and he looked at Lord Winfield, he saw tears brimming in his eyes. Carefully Dempsey laid his hand at the old man's arm.

"The next time we'll be here, I'll bring the tape with me, but for now I think I really need to find Harry"

Dempsey stood up from the chair, looked down and squeezed Lord Winfield's shoulder.

"Everything's gonna be fine. Goodnight"

"Goodnight James"

More confident as he felt, Dempsey left the library. He leant against the, now closed, door behind him knowing that he still had a long, long way to go before Harry and her father would be back on speaking terms again.


	59. Chapter 59

When Harry woke up it was still dark. Looking at her watch she saw that it was half past 2 a.m. which meant that for the first time in weeks, she had slept more than 4 hours without being awake every 2 hours. She put the blanket away and switched the light on. With a shock she realised that she was wearing her pyjamas. How the hell did she get into them? The last thing she remembered from last evening was that she laid down on the bed totally dressed. That could only mean one thing: someone had undressed her without her noticing it! This was so embarrassing. The more, because she also knew that there would be only one person in the whole wide world who could have done that: James Dempsey! How could he do that to her? He must have enjoyed it tremendously by doing it. She knew him. Well this time he wouldn't get away with it she assured herself, swinging her legs outside the bed and walking to the bathroom leaning on her stick.

If she had looked around, she should have seen that there was a person lying at the other side of the bed. Someone who had opened one eye when he saw her walk away. Unlike Harry, Dempsey hadn't sleep at all so far. He tried, but the words Lord Winfield had said to him were still spinning around in his head. And there was also that photo he had found in Charles room. After he had found Harry fast asleep in the bedroom, he had hid the photo in his bag. Till that moment he hadn't figured out if it would be a wise idea to inform Harry about it tomorrow or it would be better to wait a little longer.

When he heard her returning from the bathroom, Dempsey closed his eyes. The anger in Harry started immediately to rise deep inside her when she returned from the bathroom and saw him lying there. She had told him not to follow her and what had he done? He had even dared to creep next to her in bed, as if nothing had happened! Now she really had had it with him. Sitting down on the bed, she turned around and stretched her hand out to wake him. But then it seemed if an invisible hand stopped her. She withdraw her hand and looked down at him. She had been just in time to remember the nightmares he had had last night. Now it seemed he wasn't having them. Waking him up now would have been so unfair. 'It can also wait till tomorrow' she said to herself, switching the light off and closing her eyes.

Luckily it was so dark in the room that she didn't notice the wide grin that crept over Dempsey's face. He had felt her hand hanging above him and he knew what she had had in mind. He was glad that he had pretended to be asleep. Tomorrow he had to face Harry's he could be sure about that. Lord Winfield had been right. Between the two of them, War seemed never be far away.

The next morning Harry found the bed next to her empty but Dempsey's trousers and shirt were still there so he must be somewhere.

"Shall I get Sophia out of bed or will you do it?" she heard him saying standing in the doorway.

He seemed a little nervous. First she had no idea why. Was he scared that she still would be angry? Yes she had been that when she woke up in the middle of the night, but by now most of her anger had be gone. She was now glad she hadn't woken him up. He looked exhausted.

"You can do it if you want" she answered smiling at him.

A little suspicious he turned around and she heard him talking to Sophia. She really didn't want to overhear him but it was impossible not to listen when he started to tell the little girl about a dream he had in mind since his return. It sounded so great. A trip just the three of them as every other normal family. She wished it could be true, but so far as she wasn't able to walk properly, it should only be that: a fantasy. But only dreaming about it was wonderful enough.

"I'm taking a shower" she announced.

"Any chance to join you?" he asked hopefully.

For a short moment of time he thought that she would say 'yes' but then all his hope disappeared when she entered the little girls bedroom, kissed Sophia's cheek, looked at him and said: "You have other things on your mind now Lieutenant"

By calling him Lieutenant (and this time pronouncing it the English and not the American way) he knew that he had to be careful. That she was still a little mad at him even if she had no intention right now to come back to what had happened last evening.

"Lieutenant?" Sophia said, using the American way without even knowing it.

"Yes Sweetie"

"What's Lieutenant?"

"When I worked in America I was a Lieutenant there"

"Movie?"

"What?"

"Movie?" Sophia repeated.

"What do you mean with movie?"

"Mummy watched movies with Lieutenants"

"She did?" Dempsey wondered.

He saw Sophia nodding her head.

"Mummy cried"

"Well" Dempsey smiled at her:" I think it would be better that you don't tell Mummy that you've told me that" he suggested knowing how Harry would react if she found out that Sophia had told him one of her secrets. What else would Sophia tell him about Harry he didn't know already?

"Out?" Sophia announced pointing her finger at the door behind them.

"After you have had your shower and be dressed we will go out"

"No! Now"

"No Sweetie"

Dempsey watched Sophia looking at him.

"What now?"

"You stay?"

Where the hell did that question came from?

"Stay where?"

"With Mummy and me?"

"Of course I'll stay with the two of you"

"Not going back to Oceean?"

Dempsey wrapped his arms around the little girl and hugged her.

"No"

Taking a deep breath, Sophia put her little arms around Dempsey's neck. To his surprised he heard her whispering something in his ear.

"Wished I had a Daddy like you"

Dempsey swallowed hard. Was this the moment he waited for? The moment to tell the little girl that he was her father? But before he could even consider it, the perfect moment was ruined by Harry who showed up behind them.

"The bathroom is all yours" she said without noticing that Dempsey narrowed his eyes and in silence crucified her for her bad timing.

"We are coming" he answered a little agitated.

"Something wrong?"

He acted strange, she thought.

"No" without looking at her he left the bedroom with Sophia on his arm.

Really having no idea what to think of the whole situation, Harry walked back to the bedroom. Had she perhaps interrupted some intimate moments between father and daughter? It was so confusing. Slowly Harry walked over to the closet to chose some jeans and a blue shirt and sweater this time. After finally getting dressed, she started to wrestle with her tennis shoes. Because there was still no sign of Dempsey and Sophia, Harry thought it would be a better idea to go downstairs already before the two of them returned. To avoid another confrontation.

When she entered the kitchen, she found her father sitting at the table reading a newspaper and Abbott who was putting a pancake on his plate.

"Good morning" Lord Winfield said carefully.

"Good morning" Harry answered him even more careful before she sat down.

She missed the look that her father and Abbott shared, because she had nodded her head looking down at her plate. She had hoped that her father had had breakfast in his own room. If she had known he was here, she should have stay upstairs.

Minutes pasted by. Harry found herself sitting there and wishing that Dempsey and Sophia showed up. She really had no idea what to say at her father. She watched Abbott walking back and forwards to the cooker filling her plate as soon as she had emptied it. She thoughts he was only doing that just to keep her busy. Finally she heard the kitchen door opening while a smiling Sophia entered, followed by Dempsey.

"What took you so long?" she asked him with a questioned look at her face and a little reproach in her voice.

Oh boy this was not a good sign, Dempsey's first thought was, feeling the cold atmosphere between father and daughter.

"The little girl couldn't decided how to dress"

"You let her chose what to wear? You can't be serious" she asked astound.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"Because....Because" she repeated: "A almost 2 year old can't decide what she wants to wear! She's not a grown up woman James!"

"I think we did pretty well, didn't we Sweetie?" he answered satisfied, at the same time caressing Sophia hair to comfort her.

"Oh yeah? How do you think she can play in these clothes?" Harry shook her head in total disbelief in front of him: "Why didn't you dress her in a shirt and jeans?"

"Harry. Where are you so upset about?"

"I don't believe this. You chose a dress for her that could only be worn at a party!" she declared being more furious now.

"So what? She likes it"

"You have so much to learn!" he heard her groan between her teeth.

That was enough for Dempsey. All the time he had tried to be patient, to keep his temper under control. He grabbed Harry's arm and guided her outside the kitchen. He slammed the door behind them.

"Now you listen to me!"

"Au, you hurt me" Harry tried to free her arm out of Dempsey's grip.

Ignoring what she had said to him, he turned her around.

"If you are not satisfied with what I have done, why didn't you show up then to do it yourself? Well?"

Seeing that she had no intention to answer him he continued: "What's the matter with you? Do you want Sophia all for yourself? Are you jealous at the relationship I've build up in just a short time with our daughter? Is that it? If that's the point: You had to think about that before you introduced me to her! Now it's too late. I'm her father and I don't have any intention to stay out of her life, if you like it or not!" He was yelling now, clenching his fists even faster around Harry's arms.

When Harry's gaze, caught Dempsey's she saw anger mixed with despair lying in his eyes. She wanted to turn her head away but couldn't. They were staring at each other and they both didn't know how to go further.

"I..." Harry started at the same time as Dempsey also wanted to say something.

"You first" she said.

"No, go ahead, you can go first" he assured her.

But the two of them didn't get a chance to say something at all. Behind Dempsey's back the door opened and when he turned around he saw Sophia standing in the doorway. Harry felt her face start to become red and by the way Dempsey avoided looking at her any longer, she knew that he also felt uncomfortable with the whole situation. Slowly he freed his grip around Harry's arms and knelt down to look the little girl straight in the eyes.

Damn. He hadn't planned it this way. And it became even worse when Lord Winfield appeared behind Sophia.

"I tried to cover her ears with my hands but couldn't avoid that she overheard every word of it. Why didn't you two tell her that you are her father?"

"We waited till the right time would show up" Dempsey said defending himself and Harry, at the same time realising how that must sound.

"I planned to tell it to her later today"

"Hoping that the right time showed up then?"

"Yes"

"Unbelievable" Lord Winfield shook his head and returned into the kitchen where he found Abbott putting some sandwiches in a big basket.

"Where's that for?"

"Mr. Dempsey asked for it yesterday"

"Yesterday?"

"Yes he wants to take Lady Harriet and little Sophia out on a surprise picnic this morning before they need to return to London later this afternoon"

All of a sudden it was clear to Lord Winfield what Dempsey had meant with the words 'Waiting till the right time shows up'. He had planned to tell the little girl during the picnic that he was her father! That he wanted to wait till they were together, just the three of them, like every other ordinary family. Well it wasn't his fault this time that the plans had changed!


	60. Chapter 60

Harry stood next to Dempsey when she saw him putting a basket in the car.

"What's the meaning of this?" she asked suspicious when he didn't answer.

"Dempsey? What do you have in mind now?"

"Will you just get in the car?"

"No! Not before you tell me what's going on here"

"Why do you always have to know first what's going on? Can you never do something spontaneous first and ask questions later?" he wondered lifting Sophia up to let her sit next to the basket.

"At least don't forget to fasten her seat belt" Harry warned him knowing that most of the time he forgot to use his. Although she had to admit that since he knew that he became a father he had paid more attention to the fact of using it.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he mumbled from the back seat of the car.

"Will you get in the car?" he repeated when he saw her still standing there without moving.

"I can't do this! You know that. I'm not able to walk and..."

Hopeless Dempsey leant with one arm at the roof of the car.

"Get in or I'll drive away without you and this time I'm not going back to pick you up!" he said angry.

She didn't look at him when she slipped next to him at the passengers seat, gazing out of the window and in the meantime thinking what the hell had she let herself into now.

"When did you plan this all?" he heard her saying after awhile.

"Yesterday"

"Yesterday?"

"Yes yesterday"

"Before or after we had searched Charles room?"

"What difference does that make?"

"I like to know"

"Okay. Before" he admitted.

"I bet that you had never make this arrangement if you should have known what followed later"

"Maybe"

"What kind of an answer is that?"

"Look Harry. I just like to spend an afternoon together with my family. You and Sophia. What's wrong about that?" agitated he turned passed another car a little faster than permitted.

"Was this where you were talking about earlier when you were with Sophia in her bedroom? I expected it would be something for the future, not for today"

"Why not for today?"

"Don't know"

"Look outside. It's a beautiful day. Why would we spend it inside if we can also enjoy the countryside?"

"Optimist"

"Well at least some of us need to be optimistic"

"What will you say with that? That I'm not an optimist?" Harry tried not to look hurt while saying that.

"Of course you are an optimist, otherwise you had never come so far by now, but we have to be realistic. We still have a long way to go" Dempsey lifted his hand up to caressing Harry's face.

"Keep your hands were they belong: at the steering wheel!" she warned him placing his hand back and smiling at him at the same time.

"Yes Ma'am"

From the back seat of the car a little voice interrupted their little intimate moment. Mother and daughter seemed to be both specialists in that.

"Mummy. I'm thirsty"

"We are almost there" Dempsey answered looking in his back seat mirror to give his daughter a wink.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm not saying anything, it's a surprise"

"Dempsey?" Harry begged him.

"No just wait and see. But let me concentrate now, otherwise I'll miss the right turn"

A little smile crept over Harry's face. She couldn't even remember anymore how many turns Dempsey had almost missed during his first few months he lived in London. When she hadn't tell him just in time the right directions they would have been lost more than once.

10 minutes later Dempsey parked the car in front of a big building.

"This is it?"

"This is it"

"A building? You brought us to a building? I thought we should have a picnic? Not sight seeing!"

"Relax. You'll love it here"

Harry swung her legs outside the car to stand up, but till her surprise she felt Dempsey's hand on her shoulder.

"Wait a second, I'll be right back"

She saw him walking around and opening the boot of the car. Harry had no idea what to expect now.

"Your father is filled with surprises Sophia" she said more to herself than to the little girl.

Then her mouth almost dropped open when she saw him putting her wheelchair on the ground.

"Your transportation is ready Ma'am" he said with a big grin of his face when he reached her.

"You have brought my wheelchair with us? How did you do that?"

"I had a little help from John. He put it in the boot of the car for me. I thought just in case we needed it...."

Speechless Harry could only gaze at him.

"I believe surprise succeeded" he added feeling really satisfied deep down inside. Then till his total surprise, Harry wrapped her arms around his neck to bring his face closer to hers. And before he realised it, she kissed him softly on the lips.

"Thank you" she whispered.

He so desperately wanted to kiss her back, but again an intimate moment between the two of them got ruined when a little, demanding, voice form the back seat of the car interrupted them.

"I'm thirsty Mummy!"

Dempsey and Harry couldn't hide the smile that crept over both their faces.

"Saved by our daughter" Dempsey whispered in Harry's hair stealing one little kiss from her before he opened the back door of the car.

"Well let's see then if we can do something about that" he announced, putting Sophia on her feet: "Stay with Mummy" he ordered her.

"Why?"

"Because little Miss Impatient, it took me more than 2 years to get to know you and now I don't want to lose you which will happen when you run away. I can't be at two places at the same time"

"You can sit here" Harry pattered at her lap

"That would be an excellent idea" Dempsey agreed.

Sitting comfortable, Sophia sat back with her head resting against Harry's chest. When Dempsey handed Harry the basket and a blanket he got the feeling that he had reached heaven. Because this what he had waited for and missed so much being back in New York. Being a part of a happy family. He finally got one, now he only hoped he would be able to keep it!


	61. Chapter 61

"It's wonderful here" Harry said when they had turned around the building: "How did you know about this place?"

"Mike told me about it. He brought Angela here during their first weekend and he thought it would be the perfect spot for us as well"

"He was right"

It was indeed wonderful. Behind the building lay a big park with high trees and an area with grass. Chairs stood around tables and waitress were serving drinks to visitors.

"Seemed we are not the only ones here"

"No. But we'll find a spot were nobody will disturb us" Dempsey said pushing the wheelchair to a place a little further away. Out of hearing distance of the others.

"Mummy animals!" Sophia pointed her finger to a surrounded area where some goats were standing.

"They also have little rabbits here and chicks"

"Wow, you seems to be well informed"

Harry was really impressed. She couldn't imagine that he had done so much research.

"We'll go to see the animals later. Okay?" Dempsey bent over to his daughter who stretched her arms out to him.

"Well, I guess that's an indication that this will be the perfect spot for us" he smiled lifting Sophia up from Harry's lap.

"Stay in hearing distance" he ordered her after he had given her something to drink first.

"Yes Daddy"

Astound Dempsey looked at her. For a short moment of time he was speechless which didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

"She....she called me Daddy!" he said finally.

Harry squeezed his hand.

"I told you it wouldn't be hard for her to accept you as her father"

"But...." Dempsey started, but Harry laid a finger against his lips.

"Shh. Just enjoy it" she advised him.

Still confused he took the blanket to spread it out on the ground, putting the basket on it and sat down. Then he looked up at Harry.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What do you mean? "

"Come to join me?" and he pattered on the place next to him.

"James? I....." Harry started.

"I know. You can't do it"

"I wished I could, but I have no idea...." Harry got stuck in her words when she saw Dempsey standing up.

"What are you doing?"

"Just throw your arms around my neck"

"And then?"

"Then I will put you on the blanket. Simple as that"

"I will never be able to get up again if I lay down here" Harry protested, but seeing the determination in Dempsey's eyes she stopped with having arguments. It would be so great to sit next to him, to pretend for a short moment of time that everything was normal. Maybe she would regret later what she was doing, but she didn't want to think about that now.

"Remember the last time we had a picnic together?" Dempsey asked, opening the basket and taking some plates out of it.

"Yeah"

Dreamily Harry thought back at a time more than 2 years ago. It had been a hot summer day and Spikings had given them an, unexpected, afternoon free saying that he didn't want to see them before 5 p.m. Nobody had known about their relationship back then, but Harry was sure that Spikings must have had some speculations about it.

"It had been one of the happiest days of my life" Harry said quietly: "It felt so good to be a couple"

"Do you also remember what happened later?"

Harry tried not to look at Dempsey, but a little red crept over her face. Yeah she remembered that part very well too. They went to her home after the stake out later that evening and how they had finally made love for the first time. It had felt so good, so right. She could also remember that the next morning Dempsey had asked her if she regretted it what they had done. But she had assured him that she would never regret something that had turned out to be so wonderful.

Realising that Harry knew exactly where he was referring to, it gave him just the courage to ask another question.

"Do you know what I'm wondering since then?"

"What" Harry asked, seeing him biting his lip if he was a little nervous.

"If that first time perhaps had been the time we created Sophia and Little James? I mean, we didn't plan it that evening and....."

"No" Harry laid a hand on his arm: "We created, what a stupid word to describe our children, them some time later. It had been my fault. I told you already that I wasn't feeling well at that moment. I never thought it would turn out that way. Now we are at the subject: may I ask you something too?"

Harry's fingers were playing with the blanket and she avoided to look at Dempsey when she softly continued: "Did you read the two diaries I left behind after my first weekend I went home? I mean, you never talked about it and to be honest: I had been too afraid to ask you about it. I can understand how difficult it must have been for you to read them but..... did you?"

Harry saw Dempsey turning his head to look at Sophia who was playing in the distance with something she had found in the grass.

"I did"

"And?"

"What do you want me to say? How miserable I felt when I read them? How I wished I could have share that experience with you when you described how it felt when the babies moved? How I wished I could have seen Little James alive? Even if it had been only for one short moment? At least your father had seen him and you even didn't know it! Is that what you like to hear?"

"No of course not, but .....has my father seen Little James?"

"Yes. He told me that he saw them in the hospital. Shortly before the little guy died. Damn Harry. I'm even jealous at that man! These whole diaries....they are great and I'm glad you made them, but....."

Now Dempsey was looking Harry straight in the eyes: "All that I wanted was to be with you. Was that so hard for you to understand?"

"No. And I'm sorry. Back then I did what I thought was right. It never crossed my mind that I would harm so many people"

"Then talk with your father! Make it up with him!"

"Dempsey, I can't. Not yet."

"You had no problems with making it up to me. I know it will be hard, but you can't blame him forever. When will you be ready for it? When it's too late?"

"What?" Not knowing what he meant, Harry shook her head.

"When he is dead"

"Dead?" All of a sudden this whole conversation turned into something she didn't like.

"Do you know something I don't know?"

"Harry. Let's face it: your father isn't the youngest. There comes a time that he won't be around anymore. I hope you would not regret it the rest of your life that at the moment he dies you haven't talked it out with him!"

"But I can't do it now!"

"When then?"

"I don't know"

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders: "I think it would be better to see what our daughter is doing over there"

Harry saw him standing up, walking up to Sophia and kneeling down next to her when he reached her. Two heads were buried over something that Sophia had found in the grass. Harry hardly noticed what father and daughter were doing. She had so much to think about. Some time later she heard Dempsey something yelling at her, but she couldn't hear what it was. Obviously she reacted the right way because the next moment she saw them walk away hand in hand. It was such a wonderful view that Harry got a lump in her throat. Never in a million years had she expected that Dempsey should have been so wonderful as a father. Would he ever have brought the subject about the diaries up by himself if she hadn't done it? she wondered. Now she knew how hard it must have been for him to read all the stories about his children knowing that he had missed so much of their lives. She had assumed that, but now she knew it for sure. Was it then so hard for him to express his feelings? Even in this situation? Why? But she could think long or short about it, she couldn't get an answer. The solution laid by Dempsey but he was too occupied with Sophia at the moment to ask him. All of a sudden she felt so tired. The whole conversation had taken so much of her energy. Exhausted she laid down at the blanket and closed her eyes and before she realised it, she was fast asleep.

* * * *

"Mummy, Mummy, we aflopped Tommy" Harry heard a voice screaming before a little girl jumped next to her at the blanket.

Bewildered Harry opened her eyes.

"What? Who is Tommy and what did you say?"

"Don't worry. Sophia meant adopted, we adopted a little rabbit"

"You did what?"

Dempsey sat next to Harry and laid an arm around her.

"I told you. That was what Sophia found. An escaped little rabbit. We brought him back to his friends. Right Sweetie?"

Sophia nodded her head.

"Black"

"Yeah, Tommy was black and the woman over there told me that it would be possible to adopt an animal. I thought it would be a great idea to give Sophia a little friend. We even got a photo of him"

Harry saw how Dempsey took a photo out of his pocket which he handed over to her. It was a real little black rabbit with some white around his nose.

"Cute" Harry responded not knowing what else to say.

"They will send us a certificate later which made us Tommy's foster parents"

"But...how will you do that? She will perhaps never see that rabbit again"

"Wrong. They will send us more photos of him from time to time and when we are at Winfield Hall again, we'll pay him a visit"

"You are unbelievable, do you know that?"

Amazed Harry could only gaze at Dempsey.

"Well, I'm glad you like it. For a short moment of time I thought that I had to ask my money back which I paid to become a foster parent!"

A smile crept over Harry's face.

"Mummy?"

"Yes? What's the matter?"

"Eat?"

Dempsey bent over to open the basket.

"If you sit next to us, I'll see what we have for lunch"

"Sandwisk"

"No. Sandwich. Do you want one?"

"Yeah"

Before Dempsey realised what Sophia had in mind she crept on his lap and laid her head against his chest. The only thing he could do was wrapping both his arms around her.

"Daddy?"

Still not used to the fact that she called him that way, Dempsey first ignored her.

"Daddy!" Sophia repeated a little more demanded this time.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Stay with you?" she asked turning her head into Dempsey's direction to look at him with her big brown eyes in which laid so much hope.

"I'm afraid that's not possible"

"Why not?"

Dempsey saw how the eyes started to fill with tears after he had said that.

"Don't you like it with Angela and Mike?" Dempsey tried.

"Yes, but I want a Mummy and Daddy. I want home!"

"I understand that. But....." Dempsey took Sophia's skin in his hand: "Look at me"

"I want home!" Sophia repeated with despair in her voice.

How do you explain an almost 2 year old kid that she had at the moment a mother who only had permission to spend the weekends with her and a father who had to work during the week? How had Harry done that during the time she had raised Sophia on her own? Dempsey wondered.

"Sweetie. It wouldn't take long before you can go home. I promise you that"

"Why not now?"

"Because Mummy and Daddy had to make some arrangements first for that"

"I want home"

Tears started to roll over Sophia's cheek now. And it didn't take long or she was sobbing uncontrollably. Dempsey cuddled her as a little baby. Stroking her hair and talking softly to her. In the meantime his eyes met Harry. "We need to talk about this' he mouthed to her. Harry could only nod her head. Realising that indeed the two of them hadn't thought about how it must be arranged when she should finally be home. There had been so many other things that had taken their attention that they had almost overlooked the most important thing of all: her homecoming.

When Sophia's tears became a little weaker, Dempsey offered her a big sandwich.

"What's this?" They heard her saying, looking down at the sandwich in her hand.

"That my darling is a hotdog!"

"Dog is hot?"

"No hotdog. That's what Daddy eats all the time in America"

"Oh no" Harry groaned. One person who preferred junk food in the family was enough already. Not a second one!

"Don't you have something else for her? And how did you lay your hands on it in the first place?" Harry tried without any luck.

"Come on Harry, it's not that bad. You want one too?" he asked, opening the basket and offering her an even bigger sandwich.

"No thanks. What else do you have?"

Harry took a look inside the basket and found a sandwich with salad.

"That's better"

But Sophia seemed to prefer the one Dempsey had offered her. From the corner of her eyes Harry saw father and daughter sharing the sandwich and making jokes between every bite.

"Mummy too" Sophia said handling the sandwich over to her.

"No Mummy....."

"Come on Harry...." Dempsey said with amused eyes: "Do our daughter a favour!"

"Alright then" Harry gave in.

There wouldn't be another way anymore, Harry realised that taking a bite of the sandwich with closed eyes.

"It's......."

"Delicious" Dempsey tried to help her.

"Disgusting"

"I like it" Sophia joined with a big grin on her face.

Oh yeah why not. Now he had spoilt his daughter forever. During all these years she had tried to let Sophia eat only healthy things and now.....

"Come on Harry, you looked if had committed the biggest crime on earth"

"I'll get you later!" Harry answered between grinned teeth's with only produced a even bigger grin on Dempsey's face who knew he had won this time.

Half an hour later, Sophia's head felt against Dempsey's chest and it didn't take long before she was fast asleep.

"I think it would be time to go back to Winfield Hall"

"Yeah, I think so"

10 minutes later they sat in the car and were the three of them on their way back to Winfield Hall. When they arrived there Dempsey turned the engine of and turned around to look at Harry who had stared all the way out of the window and had hardly said a word if she was miles away with her thoughts.

"Do you....Do you want to say goodbye to your father or what?"

"I....I prefer to go to Little James grave, if that's alright with you?"

"Of course. You know what: I'll get our bags, you go to the graveyard and I'll meet you there. Let Sophia sleep in the car"

"Okay"

A little worried Dempsey walked back to Winfield Hall. He observed Harry with a frown on his face. Why was it so difficult for Harry to say goodbye to her father? How long would she continue with not paying any attention at all at the old man? And at that moment a little plan started to raise in Dempsey's mind. "Maybe, just maybe that would be the perfect solution" he thought while a satisfied smile crept over his face.

Much more relaxed as he felt before he went upstairs, packed their bags and put them in the boot of the car. Then he walked over to the grave yard. 10 minutes long they stood at Little James grave, arms wrapped around each other.

"Sweetheart, we have to go. I don't want to, but we have to bring Sophia away first and then I have to bring you to the rehabilitation centre"

"I know" Harry turned around in Dempsey's arm.

"Thanks for the wonderful weekend" she whispered.

"Your welcome"

Still with their arms wrapped around each other, they reached the car. Dempsey saw Lord Winfield standing next to it and felt Harry stiffen when she realised that she couldn't just slip away as she had planned to do.

"Have a nice ride back" Lord Winfield said, with his eyes rested on Harry who didn't react.

"We will" Dempsey answered, shaking the old man's hand.

"Bye.......Daddy" It was obvious that Harry had great difficulties with saying these words.

"Bye my dear"

Dempsey shook his head to the old man. Luckily it kept unnoticed by Harry who had to pay more attention to get in the car without having too much problems.

The whole trip back to London, Dempsey had to deal with the fact that both his women were sleeping. Harry even didn't wake up when he brought Sophia back to Angela and Mike. But when they reached the rehabilitation centre, Dempsey softly squeezed Harry's shoulder.

"Wake up Princess, we are here"

With sleepy eyes Harry looked up at him.

"I'll bring you upstairs"

"No, you had done enough already, I can do it"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just give me my bag"

Not really convinced Dempsey opened the boot of the car and put the bag down by Harry's feet.

"What about the thing Sophia said? I mean..."

"We will discuss it tonight over the phone. Okay? Now you have to go inside, before you missed dinner"

"Yeah"

Dempsey bent his head to give Harry a little kiss on her cheek.

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

"I don't know for sure yet"

"I understand"

"Now go....." Dempsey pushed Harry in the direction of the door. He felt miserable, he wanted so badly that he could take Harry home. Far away from all this, but they had to wait another 2 weeks before that could happen. He knew it, but it made him almost turn around.

"Till later" Harry whispered.

"Till later Princess" he answered softly putting a last kiss on her cheek before he slipped into the driver seat.

Unknown of Dempsey's thoughts, Harry saw him drive away. She wanted to shout after him: 'Come back. I don't want to stay here alone anymore'. It was the same moment that she realised that there was only one place where she wanted to be the most: home. Together with the man she loved and their beautiful daughter.


	62. Chapter 62

_The first part of two chapters for the Easter Weekend. The next chapter will follow tom__orrow. Will be prepared for an, probably, unexpected story of Dempsey's past. Hope you enjoy them and Happy Easter!_

Dempsey looked at his watch. He had spend more than 10 minutes now sitting on a chair in the corridor, but there was still no sign of the person he wanted so desperately to speak to. He picked a magazine up from the little table, but laid it down almost immediately. It was impossible to concentrate on what he tried to read. His mind was miles away in another time zone. Another 5 minutes passed by. Frustrated Dempsey stood up from his chair and started to pierce through the corridor. Till he heard a voice saying: "Mr. Dempsey? James? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you" Dempsey said, turning around to face the woman, Joyce, in front of him.

"Did we have an appointment?"

"No, but...." Dempsey felt a little uncomfortable. He started to get second thoughts about this. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all: "Forget it" he added, determined to run away as fast as possible.

"Ho there" the woman took his arm to hold him: "You didn't come here for nothing I suppose and where is Harry?"

"I said, forget it" Dempsey repeated.

"No. It's obvious that there's something wrong. I can feel it. I don't have another patient for the next hour. So if you'll follow me?"

Sheepish Dempsey followed the woman inside her office. When she closed the door behind him and offered him a chair to sit, he got the impression he was trapped. That there was no possible escape anymore. For him, who had always be so proud of the fact that he could handle every situation, it was almost unbearable to accept that he had now reached a point that he couldn't. That he had to face the demons of his past, that there otherwise wouldn't be a future. At least not a future together with Harry and Sophia.

"So, what's the reason that brought you here?"

"I don't know I..... Look it was a bad idea. I have no idea what I'm doing here" Dempsey stood up from his chair and wanted to walk away.

Joyce leant back in her own chair. It was so obvious to her that this man was wrestling with more than only the illness of Harry. Or the shooting of that young boy, Joyce remembered.

"Why don't you just try to tell me what's bothering you? Then I can always decide if you made the right decision to come here or not" Joyce suggested looking Dempsey straight in the eyes who already stood by the door with the handle in his hand to open it. Dempsey knew what she was doing. Leaving the ball in his goal now and leaving it up to him to score or not. Joyce saw him hesitating. Well, he didn't run away immediately as he was intended to do just seconds ago, she thought. That was a good sign.

"Come on, sit down. I'm offering you an hour of my time. The least you can do is to accept that offer"

Slowly Joyce saw Dempsey walking back to his chair to sit down again.

"Does Harry know you are here?" Joyce asked, a little afraid to say the wrong thing causing him to run away after all.

"No and I want it to keep it that way"

"Because....?" Joyce wondered. What could be so important that he didn't want that Harry knew about it?

"Because it's something I'm not proud of and....."

When Dempsey didn't continue, Joyce finished the sentence for him: "You wanted to keep it a secret for her? What is it with the two of you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like I said. You have secrets for her, she's hiding things for you. I thought you two had a stable relationship? In which it wouldn't be more that normal to share your feelings with each other?"

"Had, yes that's exactly the right word here"

"Had?" Joyce jumped in what he had just said: "Is there something changed in your relationship?"

"It seems so. I always seems to say the wrong things lately. In my opinion just innocent comments but every time I do that Harry thinks that I said them on purpose"

"Like what?" Joyce tried to encourage him.

"Well, eh...during the weekend I said something about Sophia. That she would be able to walk properly in a short moment of time. I didn't mean anything with it, but the next moment Harry felt hurt and betrayed and walked away from me"

"Did she react the same way now as she should have done before this all happened?"

"Probably" Dempsey said, clinching his fist together which didn't keep unnoticed by Joyce.

"Then this had nothing to do with her problems now. Do you remember what I said to you the last time you had been here together with Harry?"

"What?" He had really no idea where she was referring to.

"About the way she's reacting to you. That she felt she had to compare with you, to show you how independent she is"

Dempsey frowned his eyebrows.

"Independent? I've told you before, I've never seen her as a weak woman"

"But from what you had just said, I believe, she thinks that you have a total different opinion about her now. No let me finish" Joyce added seeing that Dempsey wanted to interrupt her: "In her eyes you say just the words she didn't want to hear from you. That hurts her. She's upset and you become angry because you have no idea why she reacts that way and that she makes a big deal about, in your eyes, something totally innocent. Am I right?"

"She can't expect that I put every word on a silver platter before I speak them out" Dempsey exasperated.

"No that's not what she wanted either, but sometimes it's better just to _think _before you say something. I know it's hard to understand and to imagine the situation for you in which her life had changed, but you have to"

"That's funny, Harry said something like that as well during the weekend" Dempsey said with a small smile on his face: "That she wished that I could feel for just one day how she was feeling at the moment"

"You see" Joyce picked her pen up from the desk to write something down on a piece of paper in front of her.

"Had Harry ever talked about going back to work when she will be released here?"

"That's another thing she told me during the weekend. She resigned from the force"

Joyce could only stare at the man in front of her in total amazement.

"I can see you are even surprised as I was. But she made her decision and I tried to change it, but failed"

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Lousy, but I have to accept it"

Joyce bit her lip. She couldn't get it out of her mind that perhaps this was the main problem the man at the other side of the table wasn't able to deal with?

"Why do I get the impression here that you still have doubts about it even if you will make me believe that you accept it"

"Because...." Dempsey took a deep breath: "She offered me something in return as I accepted her resignation" he added softly.

"Offered you something? What do you mean?" Joyce started to become worried. What did Harry for Christ sake offered him in return? What kind of weird relationship had these two?

"Harry told you about the fact that I had shot a little kid. Well, that case isn't closed. I have nightmares. They come and they go. I tried to hide them for Harry but she found out I have them during the weekend. She'll try to help me solve the case, but she'll only do that if I don't push her anymore to come back to SI10. You said earlier something about having secrets for each other. There's something else. Related to the nightmares I have now. Something Harry doesn't know about because I had never discussed it with her. It's, I guess, the bottom line that I'm not able to express my feelings to anybody anymore. At least not the way I wanted"

When Dempsey fell silent, Joyce reached out her hands over the table to give his a light squeeze. It wasn't professional what she was doing here, she knew it, but she couldn't help doing it. Seen the deep despair and pain which had appear in Dempsey's eyes when he had said these words made her doing it. Had someone ever seen _this_ pain and despair in his eyes before? She had doubts about it.

"Where are you talking about?" Joyce asked: "Can you tell me what the bottom line is.....James?"

She saw him struggle with his emotions. It must be so very hard for him to tell someone, maybe for the first time, about something he had hidden for such a long time for everybody.

"Tell me James" Joyce encouraged him: "It can't be that bad"

"It is" she heard him saying: "I even never told my family about it"

"Then talk to me. Let it go. I can see it had been eaten you for such a long time now. Everything that had been told inside here will stay between these four walls. You know that. Come on....."

Joyce saw Dempsey nodding his head. If he would only be able to tell her everything if he didn't look at her.

"It.....it wasn't the first time I shot a little kid" he whispered so softly that Joyce had to bend over the table to understand him: "I have done it before. Many years ago. There was no other way. I never thought about it anymore and I thought it laid all behind me till I shot M.J. and the nightmares from then came back. Now even worse. Back then there was no other way, I had to do it. They ordered me to do it. If I refused to do it, it had cost me my own life. But I felt so guilty about it afterwards. You have to believe me, I wished....I wished I had never done it"

Joyce tried to clear her throat before she was able to say something. With a lot of difficulties she finally made it.

"When was that?" she asked, suspecting almost at the same time what the, possible, answer would be.

"During my military service in Vietnam"


	63. Chapter 63

Joyce became speechless for a short moment of time. She had half expected the answer Dempsey had given her, but she had still felt it as a total shock. She had never dealt with Vietnam Veterans in her life before. Vietnam seemed so far away back then from everything that had happened here in England. To be honest, she had no idea how to react on this news. She felt paralysed, not knowing what to say or to do.

"It would have been better if I had never told you that" Joyce heard Dempsey saying with a voice that could hardly be recognised as his. Within a second she came back to reality.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm glad you did. How long were you there?"

"That doesn't matter" Oh no, Joyce thought, there was that Atlantic Wall again that he had built up around him when he was forced to talk about it.

"How long were you there?"

"Look. It doesn't make any difference. I can't change it so....." Dempsey started but Joyce had no intention to let him walk away with this.

"How long?" she repeated just ignoring what he had said to her.

"You don't give up, don't you?"

"No" she said firmly.

"Okay. What do you want to know?"

"How old were you back then?" Joyce was afraid to ask, but she'd got to know.

"21"

"And how long had you served in Vietnam?"

"14 months"

"14 months? But the whole War lasted...?" Joyce tried to hide that she had not the foggiest idea how long the Vietnam War lasted.

"I got wounded and transported back to the USA"

"Wounded?"

"Yeah shot"

"Badly?"

"No not really, but obvious too much to send me back to the jungle this War in fact was"

"Lucky you"

"Yeah" Dempsey answered, miles away with his thoughts in the meantime.

"But you said you shot a little kid. Can you tell me how that happened?"

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"

It would be a real torture for him to go through it all after so many years. If she wouldn't be able to handle it, it would be better not to talk about it at all. The last thing he needed right now was a woman who burst out in tears when he had finished his story.

"I'm sure"

Joyce answered but avoided to look at him. In spite of that she picked her pen up and started to play with it as if she wanted to have something in her hands to distract herself when he continued.

"Alright then. We were with 40 when we started. One battalion. It was dark and.... well I can better skip over that part"

"Not when it's necessarily for the story" Joyce interrupted him without even realising she was doing it.

"Well, it was dark. Really dark. We hardly could see a thing. We could even hardly see each other so from time to time we bumped up to another when someone in front of us stayed still. Mainly because we thought we heard something but most of the time it was just one of us breathing heavily"

Joyce saw Dempsey smiling but it wasn't a happy smile.

"They had told us that somewhere in front of us we could expect the enemy, but they didn't know exactly where. They changed locations as fast as underwear, just like we did. Staying at the same place for a long time was very dangerous"

"I can imagine that. But you had really no idea where the enemy could be?" Joyce couldn't imagine how that felt. To be send away on a mission and not knowing what the end would be.

"No. That was the strange part of this whole War. They send us to a foreign country but in fact had no idea why. Well anyway, we reached a big river and decided to cross it. That was the first mistake we made"

"Meaning?"

"Before we were halfway the river, we lost already the half of our battalion"

When Dempsey became silent, Joyce only had to look at his face to realise that he wasn't with his mind in her office but in the past. He had obvious no idea anymore if she was still listening or not.

"15 men died immediately in the shooting, 5 later when we finally had been able to reach the other side of the river. I'll never forget the sound of the guns, the bullets and the screams of my friends when we all got hit by surprise. The enemy had laid in an ambush and waited till we should cross that stupid river, but because it had been so dark, we hadn't seen them"

"But....didn't you have a leader? I mean, how do you call someone in the army?"

"We had, but he got orders to cross that river that night so he just followed them"

"Hmmmm" he heard Joyce reacting.

"What?" Dempsey wondered. Was it something he said?

"Harry told me that you have difficulties with following orders. That most of the time, correct me if I'm wrong but that was what she told me, you won't accept the rules. And that you got frustrated when she wanted to play the good cop who always follows them. Is this perhaps a result from what happened by that river?"

Surprised Dempsey looked at her. In his wildest dreams he had never thought about that, but perhaps she was right, he realised that now. He had had so many arguments with Harry when he had followed his own instincts, not waited till back up arrived when Spikings had ordered him not to do anything before they arrived. He could even remember that he had accused Harry once for the fact that he was sitting in the car next to a whole rulebook!

"Maybe you're right. I don't know. I guess it became one of my, well let's say, bad habits over the years"

"If that would be the only one, I would be able to live with that"

"Don't let Harry hear this. I'm sure she's able to give you a list with a lot more of my bad habits on it"

"Like what?" She had looked him straight in his eyes now. The despair had disappeared out of his eyes, but the pain was still there she realised.

"I don't know. You have to ask her" but Joyce knew that he was just avoiding the subject that he knew exactly how Harry felt about him and what she thought his bad habits were.

"We are rather off the subject" Joyce tried not to look at the man at the other side of the table. She felt a little uncomfortable. She got the feeling that he was flirting with her. She tried hard to keep her composure. Holding herself that she was here to help him, to be the professional and not to get too much involved with him.

"We are?"

"Yes we are. Tell me what happened after you had crossed that river"

"Well let me tell you first that it wasn't easy. We had to leave all the dead bodies behind and....You don't want to know that part" Dempsey interrupted himself: "Its better I don't tell you.....it would be to painful for you"

"Or you?" she challenged him.

"Both" Dempsey admitted with hesitation.

"We crossed the river and after that we walked for it seemed hours through a wood with high trees. It was a hot summer night, like in that song of Meatloaf. Can't remember the title of it, but every time I hear it, it reminds me of that awful night"

"Don't try to make a joke of it Dempsey. You can't mislead me in this"

"You are right. It took hours till we finally reached a little town somewhere deep in the wood. Immediately we got all suspicious because it was too quiet there. But we were all so damn tired that we tried to ignore our inner voices and wanted to lay down to get some sleep. That was our second mistake that night. Hardly we laid down or it seemed that hell broke down. Gunshots could be heard everywhere. The only thing we could do was to shoot back. We had no idea what our targets were. The enemy or perhaps even our own people. When it became light, we had lost another 10. That I was still alive, I'm still wondered"

"So you were only with 10 then, if I count right" Joyce said softly.

"Yeah, 10. You have that right"

Now that Dempsey had reached this point of the story, it became even harder for him to tell Joyce the rest of it. Because this was the point he feared the most. The point that appeared over and over again lately in his nightmares mixed with the images of the shooting of M.J. recently.

Joyce wanted to say something, but then changed her mind. It would be better to let Dempsey tell the story till he had reached the end without interrupting him. Carefully she waited till he was ready for the last part. It took some time before he continued. If he needed all his strength, his power and courage to force himself to say more.

"By daylight we carefully approached the little town. With our guns pointed out in front of us, just in case. We didn't see anyone, only burned houses. But it was still so quiet that we could even hear ourselves breathing. And then all of a sudden it happened. Only one gunshot was enough to kill one of my friends who stayed next to me. I fell down on the ground and shot back in the direction that other shot came from. I don't know if I killed someone or not, but it became silence again. But not for long, because we had walked into another ambush and before we realised it, we got shot from all kind of directions. We ran, because we laid constantly under fire, into a house. There were 7 people present. 6 adults and one child. The adults all carried guns and we knew that they could shoot us at any time if we made just one wrong move. I stood next to the General, the leader of our battalion, when he crept my arm and pushed me in front of him. Meanwhile he had given some of the others the order to creep the child out of his mothers arms and to put him against the wall. I...."

Dempsey swallowed hard and had great difficulties to speak.

"The mother was screaming and crying. I had tears in my eyes as well when I looked in the eyes of that terrified, little kid that had no idea what happened. He looked from me to his crying mother and then back to me. I'll never forget this big brown eyes that were looking at me. His mother wanted to run up to him, but she was forced not to do so by one of my friends who had received orders to shoot if one of the adults moved. I had no idea what to do, I felt so miserable. I heard someone scream an order, but had no idea that it was meant to be for me or even what it was. Till I felt a hand on my arm and heard a voice saying 'I was talking to you Dempsey. I just demanded you to shoot that kid, are you deaf or something? We have to make an example here, it's you or that kid. It's up to you' I remember that first I had no idea what to do. I could only look at my friends in total disbelieve. I could see that they had no idea what to do either and that they all felt as miserable as I did. I have no idea why he chose me to finish that job. I had never done anything to deserve that. At least, I don't think so. 'Come on Dempsey, hurry up, we don't have the whole day here' I heard him saying while he gave me another push in my back. I.....I remember I closed my eyes, pointed my gun, pulled the trigger and fired. That was the last thing I knew before I sank down to the floor. My knees were shaking like hell and I couldn't stand anymore. I yelled something, but can't remember what. The only thing I could do was crying like all the others in the room, except from the General who had left the house immediately after I had shot that kid. I became so angry at him, wanted to run after him to kill him as well and I had probably done that if the others hadn't hold me back. I never meant to do it, but I had no choice"

Dempsey looked down on his clinched hands. He wished he would be able to cry as he had done that day, but as much as he would, he couldn't. Even not when he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a little voice, filled with emotion, whispering in his ear: "It wasn't your fault"


	64. Chapter 64

Joyce had no idea what to say to Dempsey to comfort him. "If' there would be something she could say to make everything a lit bit more bearable for him.

"Now you know everything" Dempsey said softly.

"There's something I don't understand" Joyce sat back on her chair after her desk.

"What?"

"Why don't you want Harry to know about this?"

"Will you please just respect my decision?"

"I have to, but that doesn't mean I'm agree with it!" Joyce defended herself.

Just as Dempsey wanted to reply, there was a little knock on the door so he closed his mouth immediately. A nurse opened the door and from the look on her face, it was obvious that she was surprised to see Dempsey sitting there.

"Excuse me, but Mrs. Hamilton asked where you were"

Shocked Joyce looked at her watch. More than an hour had past since she had entered the room together with Dempsey. She had totally forgotten that other patients were waiting!

"I'll be there in 5 minutes time"

The nurse disappeared closing the door behind her.

"As much as I wanted to talk about it a little longer, you heard: another patient is waiting" Joyce shoved the piece of paper, on which she had made some notes, into Harry's file and stood up to put it back in her case.

"What if I invite you for dinner tonight?" Dempsey said quietly.

"What?" Astound and totally amazed Joyce turned around to look at Dempsey who was still sitting on his chair: "You can't be serious"

"I'm dead serious. Look I know what you're thinking, but I really like to put this all behind me. And if you'll be able to help me with it....."

"But what about Harry?"

"She doesn't have to know about it"

"So you'll take full responsibility if she'll find out after all?"

"I will"

Joyce was still not convinced if she was doing the right thing in here, but finally she agreed.

"I pick you up here around 5. Okay?"

Joyce only nodded her head. Unable to say something. When Dempsey had left the room, she sank down on her chair. 'Where had she let herself in now?' she thought. It was a written rule that none of them got involved with a patient. Never. But technical he wasn't a patient, she tried to comfort herself. And at the other hand she was flattered, he had so much confidence in her that he had been able to convince her about something that had eaten him for such a long time. Much more relaxed she left the room and walked over to Mrs. Hamilton room on the 3rd floor of the building.

*****

_The next day_

Harry laid on her bed. She was exhausted from a whole morning filled with therapy. Now that her last weeks here in the rehabilitation centre began, she only had therapies in the morning and free time during the afternoon. It felt if she was sitting her days out here as in prison because there wasn't much to do for her anymore. She had just picked up a magazine when she saw Angela entering the room.

"What a surprise!" Harry said, putting the magazine aside: "I didn't know you had plans to visit me today"

"I didn't" Angela agreed, hanging her coat over the chair and set down.

"Well it's a pleasant surprise. Dempsey needs to work so..."

"That's why I'm here" Angela started to feel a little uncomfortable now.

"What do you mean? I hope that you're not here to tell me that something happened to him" and when Angela didn't answer immediately, Harry added worried: "Oh no, you are here because of him, aren't you?"

"Harry, I...."

"Tell me"

Angela put a hand on Harry's arm. It was so hard to tell her what she and Mike had seen yesterday evening. She still had difficulties to believe it herself.

"You know that Mike and I had plans to go out for dinner yesterday"

"Yes and Dempsey would pick up Sophia for the night. We arranged that"

"Well, we waited and waited but he never showed up"

"What?" Harry exasperated.

"We phoned him. Both at your place as his but we got no answer"

"Something must have happen to him, he would never do that" Harry looked at Angela with great panic in her eyes.

"Eh...well eh, finally we decided to take Sophia with us. We hang a little note on the front door so at least, when he would show up after all, he knew where we were, but that was a waste of time"

"Why?" Let him showed up, Harry prayed in silence.

"We went to the restaurant, got a table near the window. Mike set next to Sophia and I set on the other side of the table. We were really enjoying ourselves. Sophia behaved wonderful. Mike helped her with her food and she was laughing and Mike and I were talking how wonderful it would be to have kids of our own some day"

"What has this all to do with Dempsey?" Harry asked, really didn't understand why she had to listen to all this.

"Half way dinner, I went to the toilet. I had to cross the whole restaurant because they were at the back. And then I saw something"

"What? What did you see?" Harry asked when she saw that Angela had real difficulties with continuing her story.

"Harry....I don't know how to tell you"

"Tell what? Tell what Gel?"

"In a corner of the restaurant I saw Dempsey. He was sitting there at a table"

"So, he had dinner there. And he probably forgot the time. Is that such a big deal? He has so much on his mind lately"

"Harry......He wasn't alone. He was sitting there with another woman"

Harry could only look at Angela if she had just lost her mind. Only one thing had come through: Dempsey had diner and invited another woman to accompany him! He broke his promise to her that he didn't see someone else. How could he do that? Why was it so hard for him to wait till she would be able to accompany him again? Why? Tears started to brim in her eyes. This wasn't fair.

"Did.....did he see you?" Harry asked with a small voice. She hoped he did and that he had felt real uncomfortable with it.

"I don't think so. I dived into the toilet. It took me 5 minutes before I recovered from the shock. They were laughing and talking and as far as I could see, they seemed to have a real good time together. My first impulse was to walk up to their table and to say hi, but then I realised that it would be better if I didn't do that. I had no idea how he would react and what he should do. Knowing that Sophia was present there in that restaurant as well. How it must be for her when she found out that her father spent the evening with another woman. Harry, I'm so sorry. I told Mike that I went ill so we left the restaurant. Later, when we were at home and Sophia laid in bed, I told him what happened. I had to hold him back otherwise he would have returned to that restaurant to tell Dempsey how he thought about him. And I guarantee you: that wouldn't have been a pleasant conversation"

Harry felt the tears running down her cheek. She felt if someone had hit her very hard in her stomach. She could hardly breathe and was hyperventilating. After all she had been going through this was the hardest thing of all. Angela took her right hand in hers. She had no idea how to comfort Harry in this. Thinking back on all the conversations she had had with Dempsey during the last few weeks, it was almost impossible to believe that he cheated at Harry after all. But she knew what she had seen. It hadn't been a dream, it had been reality!

"There must be an explanation for it" Harry said with despair in her voice: "How.....what did she look like?"

"Harry?" Angela really couldn't imagine that Harry wanted to know how that other woman in Dempsey's life looked like.

"Please I need to know"

"From what I saw: brown hair, wearing jeans and a white blouse. Now that I think about it: not exactly clothes you wear for a night out"

"So maybe it wasn't just a night out. Maybe he just met her and...."

"Eh....Harry. I'm sorry but it seemed to me they knew each other longer than just yesterday evening" Angela added with a little hesitation. She still thought that Harry had to know about what had happened yesterday, but not that she had to know every detail of the evening.

"I don't understand"

"Me neither Harry. But for the answers, you have to ask him"

"And if he's not willing to tell me? What must I do then?"

"I can't give you advice in this, because I don't know. This time I really don't know"


	65. Chapter 65

When the phone rang, Harry felt almost immediately who that would be: Dempsey. She wanted to ignore it she really had no intention to talk to him now. She still tried to analyse everything that Angela had said about him just a couple of hours ago. Why was it so difficult for the two of them to live a normal life? A life just like all the other patients here? Why did it seemed as if she was always the only one in here who had to deal with relationship problems and with health problems at the same time? When the phone continued to ring, she finally picked the receiver up and said her name.

"Hi Princess" Dempsey said.

"Oh it's you" Harry reacted with a voice cold as ice. How could he say Princess to her, if nothing had happened!

"Did I call you on a bad time?"

"Bad time?" Harry had no idea what he meant.

"Yeah, it seems as if you don't want to talk to me"

What a good observation and that for a detective!

"What do you want?"

"Hey, what's the matter? You are really in a bad mood today"

"Nothing. Just tell me what you want, I just wanted to make arrangements to go to bed"

"It's not even 8 o'clock Harry! Don't play games with me. What's wrong?"

"I told you. Nothing. So will you please tell me why you phoned me?" Harry started to get irritated.

"I thought we had talked everything out this weekend! But obvious you're still mad at me. Okay. I only wanted to tell you that I'm able to bring you the tape and the file tomorrow"

Oh yeah, Harry realised, that case of his. Now she wished she had never offered to help him. But there was no way back anymore.

"Now you have told me. I'll see you tomorrow" and without waiting if he wanted to say more, she just hung up on him.

Speechless Dempsey stood with the receiver in his hand in the hallway of Camberwell Grove. He had really thought that during this last weekend they had talked everything out. But obvious he had it all so wrong. In less than two weeks time, Harry would be able to go home on a permanent basis. They both had made an agreement that for the time being, Harry would move in together with Sophia in his apartment. Just to make it easier for her. Lord Winfield had insisted on paying the rent for the apartment in the near future so there wouldn't be any problems anymore. And now this? What the hell had he done wrong now? He didn't know. And he still had no idea when he drove to the SI10 office the next morning. The only thing he knew that he felt exhausted after having another night filled with nightmares from which he had hoped they would stay away after his talks with Joyce yesterday.

The office was empty when Dempsey entered it. Carefully he closed the door behind him. He had told Harry yesterday that he would bring her the tape and the file today but to be honest at that moment he hadn't had the finest idea if he would succeed. But now that the office was empty, it couldn't be better. Dempsey walked over to the files in the corner of the office. He knew that somewhere between them the case file laid which he needed so badly. And indeed, it didn't cost him too much time to find it. Now the only thing he had to find, was the tape. That was a more difficult thing. He hoped the tape still laid in the archive and that nobody needed it during the time Harry had it. When she would put it away in her little safe-deposit in her closet and she locked it very carefully, the tape would be safe. As safe as it would be here in the SI10 office. Totally convinced about this, Dempsey drove 3 hours later to the rehabilitation centre. On the passenger seat of the car laid a white envelop with the file and the tape inside. A tape recorder, the one of Harry's, laid on top of it. On his way to the centre he stopped at a flower shop to buy a bouquet of red roses. Now his own concern was that Harry was still so mad at him that she wouldn't accept them. And indeed, when he entered her room 10 minutes later, with the envelope and tape recorder in one hand and the flowers in the other, he saw Harry sitting in her wheelchair next to her bed reading a magazine.

"Hi sweetheart" he said to her offering her the roses.

"Did you buy them to melt the ice?" he heard her saying.

"White ones were not available. Sorry"

"Sorry for what?"

"Like I said, I wanted white ones but they..."

But to his unpleasant surprise she interrupted him immediately.

"I think it would be better to give them to your girlfriend"

"You are my girlfriend" he corrected her.

"Oh yeah. Since when?"

What the hell was the matter with her? Dempsey thought, trying to look her straight in the eyes, but she was avoiding him. She only stretched her hand out to the envelope in his hand.

"Is that it?" she said.

"Yes and here's the tape recorder"

"Good" was all she answered, opening the envelope and taking the file and tape out of it.

"Will you please tell me what's wrong with you?" Dempsey begged: "I'm a little lost in here"

"Lost? You? Mr. Know everything is a little lost. Sorry, but I'm not laughing"

"Laughing? And what do I have to know in your opinion?"

"There's only this thing I want to do for you Dempsey, because I promised to do it, but then it's over between us"

"Over? Where the hell are you talking about?"

"Go to your other girlfriend"

"What other girlfriend?"

"The one you had dinner with last night" Harry nodded her head not able to look at Dempsey so she also missed the effect her words had on him. She only felt his hand holding her chin in an iron grip after she had said these words to him.

"Look at me Harry" But all Harry did, was pushing his hand away which wasn't as easy as she thought.

"Look at me" he repeated, replacing his hand back around her chin: "How did you find out?"

"So you don't even deny it!" That was the climax.

"No I don't have to deny it, because it's not true what you are thinking!"

"You can't expect me to believe that" Harry felt so angry and hurt now that she had no idea anymore what she was saying.

"Do you know what you are? You are the most self-satisfied, arrogant, and egotistical yank I have ever met"

"And the only yank you met so.....I must say I like the things better you said about me this weekend to Sophia"

"You bastard" Harry now turned her head away from him.

"You like to know with whom I had dinner with? Joyce"

"Joyce? Joyce Hargreaves? You had dinner with her? Why?"

"No not with her"

"You know another Joyce?" Astound Harry had turned her head back to Dempsey. She saw him biting his lip. The answer didn't come immediately, if he had to think first before he said something. That was something new to her. Where did that came from?

"Your psychologist"

"You went out to dinner with her?" Now Harry really was astounded.

"Yeah, how did you know I was out anyway?" Dempsey realised that she still hadn't give an answer on that question.

"Angela saw the two of you together yesterday"

"Why didn't she came up to me then? I should have explain everything to her"

"Because Sophia had been there as well!"

Shit. All of a sudden something started to sink in. That he had promised Mike and Angela to pick up Sophia yesterday so that they would have a evening of their own.

"I totally forgot"

"Yeah, you were to occupied with Joyce" Why he had invited Joyce was still a mystery for Harry.

"I'm sorry"

"You can better say that to Sophia. Maybe she accept them, because I won't"

"Why not? I didn't do anything wrong"

"You didn't? And how would it have been when Sophia had seen the two of you together? Well?" It was clear that Dempsey had never thought about that. The look on his face said enough.

"One day she had to discover that you are her father, the next day she had almost be a witness that you had been out with another woman than her mother. Why had you invited her at the first place?"

"Harry? I can't tell you that"

"Has it something to do with the shooting?"

When Dempsey didn't answer, Harry knew enough. It _had_ something to do with the shooting! Why was it so difficult for him to admit that he just went over to speak to her for a second time? Or was there more? To Dempsey's total surprise she stepped out of her wheel chair and walked over to her closet. With the key she opened her safe-deposit and took something out of it. After she had closed the safe-deposit again she walked back to her wheel chair.

"Here" she said before sitting down again and putting something in Dempsey's hand. When he looked down to see what it could be, he felt a key lying in it.

"I know that you have started to ask Angela questions about that locked room in my house. This is the key of the door"

That locked room! Would he finally be able to see what laid behind it? It was almost to good to be true. But why had Harry given him that key today? After what she had said to him, where she had accused him from it was so hard to believe that within seconds she had changed her mind about him.

"Why Harry? Why now?" was all he could come up with.

"Because I think it would be time" was all she answered: "No, I don't want to talk about it now. You have to see it first, then you'll know exactly what I mean"

And how hard Dempsey tried to get more details, Harry refused to give some answers. When he left the rehabilitation centre an hour later, the key was burning in his pocket. He had to go home even if they expected him back at the SI10. But waiting till later was no option anymore. Now that he had the key, he had to find out why Harry had insisted on the fact that Angela had closed the door of that room immediately after she had been transported to the hospital. When he had parked the car in front of Camberwell Grove, he jumped out of the car, took the stairs with two steps in a row, unlocked the front door and ran upstairs. In front of his former bedroom he took a deep breath. His hand was shaking when he put the key in the lock and turned it around. After taking in another deep breath, he was able to push the door open. He switched the light on and carefully stepped inside. To be honest, he expected nothing more than to see Sophia's bedroom, but till his amazement it wasn't a little girls bedroom. It wasn't a bedroom at all anymore. Inside he saw something he had never expected. It took him by surprise, no it took by storm. When he looked around he felt if he did a step back in time. His legs started to shake so heavily that he needed to sit down and put his head in his hands. Slowly something started to sink in. He had to accept the fact that hiding his secret for Harry wouldn't make any sense anymore. That she knew it and maybe, just maybe, she had known it for a very, very long time already.


	66. Chapter 66

The next morning Harry sat in her wheelchair with the file opened on her lap. She tried hard to concentrate on what she was reading, but she couldn't. She hadn't slept well that night. Her thoughts had slipped away over and over again to the locked door in her house. Had Dempsey in the meantime seen what lay behind that door? And how would he react to that? She had really no idea. What if he was so mad at _her_ now that he really didn't want to see her anymore? How would she ever be able to deal with that? She didn't want to think about it and to distract herself, she tried to concentrate even more on the file. The more she read, the more she got the feeling that Dempsey indeed had missed something. But if she was right in this, it was something that both Dave and Dempsey couldn't have known, she realised. But she couldn't imagine how Spikings had missed it as well. Maybe Dempsey had been right in this, that there was something wrong with Spikings, more than they all knew. That would have been the only explanation she could come up with at the moment.

She bent her head over the file again. Trying to make some notes while she was reading it. But when she tried to read everything back later, she could hardly read her own handwriting. Would that ever changed? she asked herself. Would she ever make so much improvement that she wouldn't mixed letters anymore? Just as she wanted to close the file, she heard a voice whispering her name. When she looked up, she saw Dempsey standing in the doorway wearing dark sunglasses.

"Hi" Harry responded putting the file aside.

Dempsey didn't say a word neither took the sunglasses off when he entered the room.

"You knew it" was all he said softly looking down at Harry.

Harry looked back and at the same time reached her hand out to Dempsey's face. He knew instantly what she wanted to do and tried to stop her, but failed. When she took the sunglasses off, she saw in his eyes why he had worn them. His eyes were red, swollen and there laid dark circles under them. Probably he hadn't slept at all that night.

"For how long?" he added when he realised that she had seen through him already and that further hiding how he felt deep down inside wouldn't make any sense anymore.

"Before I answer that, let's go somewhere else first"

Not knowing what she meant, Dempsey just waited till she had put the file back in her closet, and walked up to him with her stick in her hand. She looked him straight in the eyes when she stood next to him. Dempsey turned his head away. He didn't want to look at her, it was too painful. He felt Harry's hand slip into his and the firm grip of it.

"Come let's go find a place where we'll have more privacy"

Dempsey tried to free his hand, but Harry didn't let him do it. Hand in hand they walked over to another room in the corridor. Mostly used by the nurses when they had a meeting. Harry pushed Dempsey inside and closed the door behind them.

"Are you sure we wouldn't be disturbed in here?" Dempsey said, looking uncertain.

"Yes, you don't have to be afraid about that" Harry answered seeing how nervous he was.

"Come sit down next to me" Harry pattered on the chair next to her. But Dempsey walked over to the other side of the room, putting his hands in his pockets. There he leaned with his back against the wall. And went silent. He only looked at her as if he had no clue how they had to go further from now on.

"Did you know it all the time?" he asked finally before the silence started to become too painful.

"No. I found out shortly after you went back to New York"

"How?"

"I got a phone call. Someone who said his name was Andy Andrews"

Hearing this name made Dempsey shiver which didn't keep unnoticed by Harry.

"You remember the name, don't you?"

"Yes. But why?"

"Andy tried to contact you. He had been told that you were in London. And he was disappointed when I informed him that you weren't here anymore and that I hadn't had the finest idea how to reach you"

"Why did he contact you?" Dempsey still leaned against the wall and had his arms crossed now.

"He said that they were organising a reunion. First I couldn't imagine why it would be so important for him, when he insisted to come over to my house to talk. But afterwards I'm glad he did"

"You met him?"

"I did"

"And?'

"And what?"

"What did he tell you?"

"Everything" Harry admitted with a small voice.

"He had no right to do that!" Dempsey answered hitting his fist against the wall.

"James...." Harry begged, knowing exactly how he must feel at the moment.

"Don't start to defend him"

"I'm not defending him! But he said he was your best friend in Vietnam. Wasn't he?"

"Yes he was, but that didn't give him the rights to tell you what happened back then"

"Because you don't want me to know it? Does Spikings know?"

"Don't think so"

"Why? Why did you never talk about it?" Harry wondered.

"I'm not proud of what I have done there!" Dempsey exasperated.

"These last weeks you asked me over and over again to trust you. But otherwise you obvious never trusted me enough to tell me this, maybe most important thing about your life. Why? Because I'm a woman? Where you afraid I couldn't handle it?"

"What kind of a stupid question is that? Why should I have told you everything anyway, if you knew it already?" Dempsey turned away from the wall and walked over to the window. He felt so miserable inside. He should have told her, but he couldn't. Why didn't she understand that?

"Because I would prefer to hear it from you in spite of Andy" he heard her saying, making everything even worse.

"Damn Dempsey you were forced to shot that kid in Vietnam. That's a total different thing as what happened now with M.J. and..."

"It's the same"

"It isn't"

"Maybe not in your eyes, it is in mine" Dempsey started to pace the room now. Making Harry real nervous by doing it.

"You have still nightmares about what happened back then, haven't you?" Harry asked carefully.

"Of course I have. I thought I left it behind me, but everything came back when I shot M.J."

All of a sudden, something crossed his mind making him turn around to look at Harry.

"Was that the reason that you wanted to help me to solve the case?" he asked between narrowed eyes.

"Part of it yes" Harry admitted with great hesitation.

"Great!"

Now at least he knew why she was doing it.

"I don't want you to go further with it" Dempsey leant with his hands on the table in front of her.

Harry was speechless for a short moment of time.

"You heard me. I'm taking you off the case" he looked her straight into her eyes now.

"Just like Spikings had done with you?" Harry challenged him back trying not to avoid his gaze.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can't put rank over me Dempsey. Officially I'm not working for SI10 anymore!"

Frustrated Dempsey clinched with his fist on the table.

"Didn't Spikings said that you were too much involved?" she continued.

"I was, with you!"

"Then maybe he did it to protect you! Ever thought about that?" Harry saw the look on Dempsey's face changing. As If he also started to realise something.

"No....do you think that....? Do you think he cares so much about me that.....That he perhaps also knows? No"

"We have to consider it!" was all Harry answered. It had been a strange thought anyway, but it would explain a lot.

"What was the other part that you wanted to solve this case anyway?"

Harry had expected that question but had no idea how to answer it. She clenched her hands together. Then she saw, from the corner of her eyes, Dempsey turning around the table and finally taking a seat next to her, but she had no idea anymore if she would be happy about that or not.

"Tell me" he took one of her hands in his. Now it was Harry who wanted to free her hand but Dempsey wouldn't let her do it.

"Because Andy also told me you had been awarded with the Silver Star of Courageous Action, so you must have done something right there"

"How much do you know about the Vietnam War?" he asked, ignoring what she had said.

"In the beginning not much"

"Why not?"

"Dempsey! I was a child when that War started! We heard about it here in England but I was too young. You mentioned that you had been there, but we never really discussed it"

Dempsey couldn't believe that she hadn't had the foggiest idea back then what had happened.

"When Andy had visited me I decided to read some books about it. Then it started to make more sense to me"

"The books I found in the room?"

"Yes. Was it really that bad as they wrote in them?" In fact she was afraid to ask. Afraid that when she forced him to think about that time, it would bring even more unhappy memories back.

"If they wrote the truth, yes it was"

"As in that song of Billy Joel?"

"Oh you mean that 'Goodnight Saigon' one? Yeah you can definitely say that that song means to me what 'What's Another Year' means to you" he answered without thinking.

Harry shrugged her shoulders.

"But all the photos, the map, everything. How did you get them? I had never seen them myself in my entire life. I was stunned when I saw what you have been hidden in there for such a long time. You seem to have started a big collection in the meantime" Dempsey wondered.

"I can imagine you were stunned. The last couple of weeks I prayed over and over again that I would have been able to show you what laid behind that door myself, but I couldn't. And the longer I waited, the harder it became for me. You never expected this. Probably expected to find Sophia's bedroom in there and then it turned out to be this. I never thought to see you again so then my secret would have been safe. Only Angela knows about it and I've told Chas a part of it. Not everything"

"I wished you had prepared me a little bit for it"

"I'm sorry" The guilt that Harry had felt since yesterday only rose when she heard Dempsey saying these words.

"Andy gave me most of the things"

"Why?"

"He said he wasn't able to keep them any longer"

"Did you asked him why?"

Harry nodded her head. She still could hear what Andy had said to her when she had asked him about it.

"Because he was dying. He had only a couple of months to live. He told me that he had lied about the reunion. That there weren't any plans for a reunion at all but that he was desperate to see you for the last time before he died so he could give you all the things he had saved for so many years. I told him that I didn't want them because I had no idea where you were but he insisted on it. Said that one day I would be grateful to have them. I think, hope, he had been right"

Stunned and totally overwhelmed Dempsey just sat there. He could hardly believe what he had heard. In his memory he returned back to yesterday when he had find a photo album with photos most of them taken at the first day of his arrival in Vietnam. How he and the others had smiled on every one of them. Not knowing that most of them would never return to the US alive. The shelves with books, the big photo of him on the wall wearing his uniform and the map in the corner of the room on which someone, probably Andy, had marked all the moves the battalion had made.

Harry squeeze in Dempsey's hand brought him back to reality.

"He was right. I only wished....."

"Wished what?"

"That I had been able to talk to Andy myself" And he really meant it.


	67. Chapter 67

A couple of minutes passed by in which neither Dempsey nor Harry said a word. They were both sitting in the room holding hands. Harry felt how tense Dempsey was and wanted so badly to comfort him. Seeing his red and swollen eyes earlier it was obvious to her that yesterday it had been probably the first time since his return to the US after his stay in Vietnam that he had been able to cry about what happened so many years ago. It made him more human in Harry's eyes. It also made him vulnerable, something she knew he hated.

"There's more" she whispered.

"More?"

"Yes. Andy gave me something else as well"

"He did?"

"James, I don't know if it would be wise to give it to you, but...." Harry stood up and put her hands in the pocket of her trousers. She clenched her hand round a piece of paper. Was it wise to let Dempsey go through much more after all he had been going through already? Slowly she dogged the paper up and handed it over to him. With a frown on his forehead Dempsey accepted it.

"What's this?" he asked watching how Harry sat next to him again.

"Andy had find the address of your General. He had moved here to London many years ago. Andy had no time anymore to pay him a visit and I don't know if he is still alive or lives on this address, but if you want to find out, I volunteer to come with you. If you want me having around of course"

Harry would never forget during the rest of her life the look on Dempsey's face when she watched him opening the piece of paper and saw him staring at the address on it.

"Maybe you'll able to find out why he chose _you _to finish the job" she answered showing much more certainty than she felt. Deep down inside she was worried. Worried about Dempsey. If he would be able to control his temper when he would finally stare eye to eye with the man who had been responsible for all these years of suffering.

"I don't know if I want to hear it"

"You don't want to leave the past behind you?'

"Of course I will"

"Then give it a try. What do you have to loose?" She must be crazy. What are you saying? Harry thought. One minute you have doubts about Dempsey's behaviour and the next you almost forced him into a meeting with his former General!

"Maybe"

"Will you only promise me not to visit him on your own?"

"Afraid that I do something stupid?" he said producing a half smile.

"I know you. Will you please promise me that? Doesn't matter who you take with you, but don't go out to see him alone"

Dempsey got the impression that in fact she didn't want him to visit that man at all. And maybe she was right. Wouldn't it be better to leave the past behind him and just to move on with his life? But on the other hand: that was the whole bottom line of it. He couldn't move on before he had solved the past! He wanted so badly to explore his feelings. It had been so easy to explore them to Sophia. Now it would be time to learn how to show them to Harry and everybody else as well.

"Alright. "If" that man still lives there and he's willing to talk to me, I'll make an appointment. Will you.....will you please go with me then?"

That were exactly the words Harry so desperately wanted to hear from him. She lifted her hand to touch Dempsey's face. Gently she ran her finger over his, still a little red, eyes. Dempsey didn't move, he only hoped he would be able not to give too much away about how he enjoyed the caressing and what it did to him. Her eyes met his and they simply looked at each other. Harry didn't push him away when she saw him bending his head. With one hand he cupped her face and then he kissed her. It was neither the place nor the time to start a passionate kiss, they both knew it, but they also knew that this was the only way to let the other know how much they care. Slowly Harry flung her arms around his neck and kissed him more deeply.

"I wished so much I could have been with you yesterday. To be there for you" Harry said when they came apart minutes later.

"I needed you so much" Dempsey mumbled against Harry's forehead.

Only that he was able to admit that, made Harry glow but at the same time when she looked at him, she saw that his mood had drastically changed. What now?

"What is it?"

"I don't know if I can do this anymore Harry" she heard him say.

"Do what"

"Hold myself back from you. Every time you kiss me, I want so desperately to make love to you"

Now Harry indeed pushed Dempsey away.

"I don't believe this!" Angry and frustrated Harry stood up from her chair, but before she could pick her stick up, Dempsey had took it in his own hand.

"This can't go on like this forever Harry!"

"Give me my stick back!"

"Not before you say yes or no"

"Damn Dempsey! I told you this weekend that for one single moment I wanted that you could feel how I felt! But obvious you still don't get it. You know what happened. I can't, not yet. Suppose we do it, hear what I'm saying: suppose and I'll only be able to disappoint you? I can't live with that. Could you live with that?"

"Of course not. For God sake I'm not Charles Harry, I won't rape you!"

"I'm really not ready for it yet. Is that so hard for you to understand?"

Before Dempsey realised it, Harry had snapped her stick out of his hand and walked out of the room. Dempsey hurried after her and caught her just before she entered her own room. He gripped her arm and punched her against the wall. She could feel his whole body pressed against hers when he took her arms in an iron grip.

"Au. You hurt me!"

"Then we are equal. You hurt me as well. I want you! Is that such a crime these days?" He yelled into her face.

"Does everybody need to hear this?"

"Then give me a goddamn answer!"

"You know why I can't do it"

"Are you sure you are not using it as just an excuse not to have to go to bed with me?"

"You force me to tell it?"

Tears appeared in Harry's eyes. She tried to hold them back.

"You know something?" Harry pushed Dempsey's hands away at the moment she saw a nurse approaching them with a worried look on her face.

With a voice as cold as ice she added: "If you want so desperately that I tell it the nurses here, I will...."

"Is everything alright?" They heard the nurse saying with concern in her voice.

"Not really" Harry answered.

"What's the matter?"

"I have a confession to make"

"Harry...don't! You don't have to prove anything to me. Not about this!" Dempsey pleaded now, gripping Harry's arm to turn her around, but she struggled to free herself again.

The nurse, who had no idea what to think of this all, switched her head between Dempsey and Harry and then back to Dempsey.

"Can one of you tell me what's going on here?"

"I need to talk to you in private" Harry answered before Dempsey could say something.

"Harry? I'm sorry, don't do this to us!"

You see, Harry thought, there it was again. He could have also said: don't do this to yourself. But no he had focused it all on what he wanted.

"Well, come with me"

Without looking at Dempsey anymore, Harry followed the nurse to her office. Just as she wanted to step inside, she made the mistake to turn around. She saw Dempsey still standing at the same spot as she had left him. Even from here, from this distance, and only by looking at him, she could see how awful he felt. His whole body language said enough. And when her gaze slowly reached his face, she hardly could believe what she had forced to watch. She saw tears rolling down his face, which he tried to wipe away with his hand but that gesture only produced more of them. Seeing that she was watching him, he abruptly turned around and disappeared in her room.

"Sorry. I..." Harry apologised herself to the nurse who opened her mouth to say something, but before she could do that, Harry was out of hearing distance already.

As fast as she could, Harry walked back to her room. They both had pushed it just a little too far this time. Dempsey had probably thought that she indeed had plans to tell the nurse. And now he felt betrayed by her. She even couldn't blame him. That's why she had to make it up with up with him now. As fast as possible. But when she entered her room, there was no sign of Dempsey. Had she been wrong and had he entered another room? Where the hell was he? Then she heard a noise coming from inside the bathroom. She and the other patients mostly only closed the curtain to get some privacy. But when you were not a patient, you could use the big door as well. And that was exactly what had happened here. The door was closed.

"James?" Harry tried with a little hesitation in her voice.

"Go away!"

"No I'm not going away. Can you please open that door for me? I can't do it, it's too heavy for me, but we need to talk this out"

"I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone"

In fact it was a ridiculous situation. Harry standing at one side of the door, trying to convince someone at the other side to let her in.

"James? Please"

No answer. Only a strange noise that came through the door and which Harry worried even more. Especially when she realised what it was: he was crying again! She had hardly never see him cry before. At least not in the way he was doing now. No way that she wanted to let him go away with this on his own. Not for a second time.

"Open up James"

Still no answer, she only heard more sobs coming from inside. There was no other way, Harry decided, putting her stick against the wall. Then she laid her hands around the handle of the bathroom door and pushed with all the power she had inside her. The door was so heavy that she almost tumbled down. At the same time as she opened the door, she heard a voice from inside yelling: "What the hell are you doing? I told you to stay away"

After Harry had picked her stick up and walked inside the bathroom, she felt a hand around her arm grabbing her. Then the door closed behind her. When she turned around, she looked into a very furious but also painful face of Dempsey.

"Why do you never listen to me? You stubborn woman!" he yelled to her.

"I can say the same about you" she yelled even harder back.

After their outbursts they could only glaze at each other. Till Dempsey took a deep breath, let go of her arm, turned around and walked over to the little chair under the shower leaving the toilet over to Harry to sit down on it. There laid only a little space between them.

"I'm sorry" Harry started.

"Me too" Dempsey answered softly.

"I never had the intention to tell"

"I know. I think I overreacted everything a little bit too"

Harry stood up from the toilet, to stand in front of Dempsey who only looked up at her. She didn't say a word when she laid a hand on his head and run it trough his hair. Harry felt him shiver under her touch and wrapped her arms around his neck. Dempsey tried hard to keep his composure. He didn't want to cry in front of Harry, he needed to be strong. Not to let her know how he felt deep down inside. But when Harry bend over him and put a little kiss on his head, he lost the battle. Tears started to stream down over his cheeks. He tried hard to keep them back, but couldn't. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his head against her stomach. It was so good to let all the sorrow out he had buried inside for such a long time. Since his return to London, he had been so worried about Harry. So afraid of losing her. Then there had been the realisation that since he had been in New York he became a father, the shooting of M.J. followed by the nightmares of his past and the news that Charles had raped her during her pregnancy. It had been too much to handle. Even for him. He could only be grateful that she was there for him now like he had been there for her. Now that he needed her the most.

"It wasn't your fault" she whispered into his ear gently continuing with striking her hand through his hair. Trying to comfort him, not knowing she was using the same words as Joyce had done yesterday.


	68. Chapter 68

When finally the sobs became a little weaker, Harry held back a little.

"I'm sorry" she heard Dempsey saying, looking up at her: "It won't happen again"

"Damn Dempsey! What's that for a ridiculous thing?"

"I can imagine how you think about me now"

"Oh and how would that be in your opinion?" Harry really wondered.

"That I'm weak"

"Weak? Because you are able to express your feelings doesn't mean you're weak! I hope you're not meaning that you think that crying is only a woman's thing?"

When she saw Dempsey shrug his shoulders, Harry realised that that was exactly what he was thinking.

"You're crazy! I have seen enough men in my life cry. And I never found one of them weak. And I'm certainly not feeling that you're weak. You are human. What's wrong about that?"

"You really don't think that after all these years that....." Dempsey didn't finish.

Harry bit her lip. She so desperately wanted to let Dempsey know that what had happened hadn't changed her opinion about him. But it was so hard to explore it, especially now because he obvious had a whole other opinion about it. Carefully she laid her hand against his cheek.

"Remember that you told me how lonely you have felt the first time after you arrived in London? And that I never realised that? I can only guess how even more lonely you probably have been during these last couple of weeks. I have seen it in your eyes, you tried to hide it from me but you forgot I know you too well. All these weeks I wanted to help you, but I had no idea how. What happened now was the climax of it, you don't have to be ashamed. Never. I'm glad that you finally let it go. You're still the same tough guy for me as before. You're the best friend I have and the most wonderful father for our child that I could imagine. I love you so much and what happened today will never change that. Will you please believe me?"

When Harry had finished her little speech, she looked down at James. During her speech she had closed her eyes. Not able to look at him, but now she slowly opened them again. Not knowing exactly what the influence of her words on him would have been. But she didn't need to be worried. She saw so much tenderness and devotion lying in his eyes as she had never seen in them before.

"I love you too" he whispered softly: "I....I was so scared I would lose you for a second time and this time for good" he admitted with great difficulties.

"I know. Do you know what I did just before you arrived this morning?"

"No"

"Signed my divorce papers"

Astound Dempsey could only look at her.

"But I thought that you still have problems with writing?"

"I have, I hope they will accept my handwriting. If not, they will send the papers back and I have to do it a second time, but I thought it would be time to move on with my life"

"Oh Harry"

Dempsey put his hands over Harry's and squeezed them so hard that Harry screamed it out.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"Well at least we know now that there is still a little feeling in my right hand" Harry joked with a weak smile on her face: "If you don't mind, I need to lay down for awhile. My leg is hurting like hell. I'm afraid I've stayed a little bit too long on it"

"That's my fault"

"Nothing is your fault. I don't want you to say that ever again!"

The tenderness in Dempsey's eyes was still there when he wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and guided her back to her bed. With a big relief, she sat down on it. Just as she wanted to lay down the phone started to ring. She exchanged a look with Dempsey, hesitating if it would be wise to pick the receiver up or not. But the ringing continued and continued. Expecting to find Angela or one of her other friends at the other side of the line, Harry said her name.

"Harry? Is Dempsey there with you?"

Spikings! Harry mouthed to Dempsey who immediately made a gesture with his hand that he wasn't there.

"No Sir, he isn't. I don't know where he is, I...." Harry started but Spikings didn't give her time to finish.

"I know he's with you girl. At a time he supposed to do some work here. Will you be so kind to tell him that I expect him to be over here in half an hour!"

"But Sir....."

"Half an hour" Spikings repeated and hung up.

"I have to go" Dempsey said: "I stayed much too long in here already"

But Harry had no intention of letting him go. Not in this state. She stretched her hand out and demanded: "Give me your car keys"

"My car keys? Where do you need my keys for? You're not permitted to drive!"

"Your car keys"

With great hesitation, Dempsey laid his keys in her hand. And watched how she slipped them in one of the pockets of her trousers.

"Hey? What are you doing?" Dempsey asked worried.

"You're not going anywhere"

"Harry! I need to go back to work. You heard what Spikings said. I don't need another warning. Not now"

"You're not driving. Not in this condition!"

"I'm perfectly able to drive!"

"No, you're not"

Now it became just a matter of time who would give in to the other about this, but it was clear that it wouldn't be Harry this time.

"Look at yourself" Harry pushed Dempsey in the direction of the mirror on the wall. "You look awful. How would you explain these eyes and marks around them to the others? Or do you have plans to wear your sunglasses inside the office? Well, then certainly you could expect questions"

Dempsey had to admit that Harry was right. There was no way that he could show up like this at work.

"What do you want me to do then?" he asked a little helpless.

"Do you know what you need?" and when Dempsey didn't answer, she added: "Some sleep"

Oh he really wanted, he could get some sleep. For at least one hour without having nightmares, but that wasn't possible. Not now.

"And how do you want to arrange that?"

"Come with me" He felt Harry's hand slipping in his.

"Harry? You can't be serious!"

He was so surprised for a split second that he just followed her, without exactly knowing what he was doing, back to her bed. Being there she laid her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down. Immediately Dempsey jumped up, followed by a firmly push down again.

"I don't want any arguments in this"

She bent over to the bed and pushed the bed-clothes to the far end of the bed.

"What are you waiting for? Come on"

But Dempsey didn't react. He just sat there.

"You're getting in big trouble if you're doing this" he tried to persuade her for the last time to give up this, in his eyes, stupid move of hers.

"It's no different to the last time James. The worst thing they could do now is to kick me out of here immediately. Well, we have to take that risk. Come on. Take your shoes off and lay down!"

But still Dempsey didn't move. He just couldn't imagine that she would take all these risks. Only because of him.

"James?" Harry begged now: "You really need some sleep. At least try to get some"

When he still didn't react, she knelt down. It wasn't easy and in fact she wasn't permitted to do it and probably would regret it the upcoming days and nights, but if he was so stubborn that he wouldn't do it himself, she had to do it. Dempsey heard her breath very heavily. What the hell was she doing? he thought.

"Will you cooperate a little bit?"

"Cooperate to do what?"

"Lifting your feet up so I can take your shoes off"

"Harry. Stop this" he grabbed her arm: "Are you crazy?"

"Then do what I asked you!" she was yelling now and almost in tears. She was just as tired as he was. Why didn't he accept what she was offering him? If he wouldn't hurry up, she would climb into the bed herself to get some rest. The rest she needed so desperately.

"Okay, slow down" Dempsey kicked his shoes of and stretched himself out on the bed.

"What do we tell Spikings?"

"I'll phone him and say that you're not coming"

"He'll never accept that"

"He has to"

"Alright then. But under one condition"

"Condition? What kind of condition?" Harry frowned her eyebrows.

"That you lay down next to me"

That was the last thing Harry had expected. It was visible on her face which slowly started to become red.

"If I do that, they will really throw me out of here"

"Not if we close these curtains around your bed"

"Dempsey! You can't be serious. These curtains are only for doctors and nurses when they pay us a visit or during the nights to have some privacy. Not for what you have in mind!"

"I have nothing in mind! I....We" he corrected himself: "Only want to have some privacy as well. And I need some sleep. Orders from a 'nurse' remember?"

Harry nodded her head. In silence she was crucifying herself. She could have expected this when she had offered Dempsey her bed. That he wouldn't accept her offer without taking any advantage of trying to talk her in bed as well. Why hadn't she seen through of that earlier? Now that it was too late?

"Only if you promise me to get some sleep and not to try to do something else"

She saw him holding up two fingers in the air as a boy scout.

"Okay, I promise"

Not really convinced, Harry picked the receiver from the telephone and dialled the number of SI10. To her relief, she found Chas picking up the phone at the other side. She felt James eyes burning in her back when she told Chas that Dempsey wouldn't be in for the rest of the day. It was so hard for her to lie. Especially when Chas asked why he wouldn't be there and that Spikings probably wouldn't accept it.

"He's sick" Harry said trying to keep the hesitation out of her voice.

"Sick? What's wrong?"

"I don't know, He's not feeling well"

"Okay. I'll....." Just as Chas wanted to say more, he felt someone standing behind him. When he turned around, he saw Spikings staring at him with an odd expression on his face.

"Is that Dempsey?" Harry heard Spikings saying in the back round.

"No Gov. Harry"

"Harry?"

"Yes Sir"

It was much easier to lie to Chas than to Spikings.

"I told you I expect Dempsey in.....well that has been 15 minutes ago so he has 15 minutes left"

"He's sick Sir" Harry repeated less convinced now.

"I bet he's standing next to you so you can pass the receiver to him"

Harry turned around to look at Dempsey. She had no idea how to tell Spikings what had really happened. But what to do next? Dempsey wanted to push the receiver away. He had no intention to talk to Spikings, at least not now, but he also realised that he had to help Harry out of this. It was because of him that she was forced not to tell the truth.

"It's me boss" he said finally.

"If you're not here in 15 minutes, then...well you know what I mean"

"I really can't make it Chief"

"Will you bet?" with these words Spikings hang up on him.

"What did he say?" Harry wondered.

"The usual"

"So you have to go after all?"

"Who said I'm going?"

"Dempsey! You said it yourself? You can't effort another warning! What if he send you back to New York after all?"

"He won't. He would miss me too much if he do that"

Till Harry's amazement, she saw him lying down again. When his eyes met hers, he saw fear in them.

"Don't worry Princess, everything's gonna be fine" he said, trying to comfort her, but Harry wasn't so sure about it anymore. Worried deep inside, she closed the curtains around her bed and climbed into it. At the moment she lay down next to him, she felt Dempsey's arm slip around her waist.

"You promised you would behave yourself" she brought him back in mind.

"I won't do anything but I don't want you to fall out of the bed and the only thing I can do to avoid that is to hold you" she really wanted to believe him, but why did she got the feeling that this was just an opportunity he couldn't resist?

"Just relax. I need some sleep"

Stiffen and not able to move, Harry laid down. Every moment she expected that someone would open the curtains to see what happened inside, but till her amazement nobody showed up. With Dempsey's protected arm lying around her waist and his breath in her ear, Harry slowly started to relax. Especially when she carefully turned her head around to look at him. Seeing his eyes firmly closed, she did the same. It didn't take long if she dozed away as well. Within seconds they were fast asleep in each others arms.


	69. Chapter 69

Harry slowly opened her eyes. A voice was yelling her name. Bewildered she looked around. It was the middle of the day. What was she doing in bed with the curtains closed and from whom was that voice?

"Harry? Everything alright?" the voice repeated.

"Yeah" Harry answered softly, with a shock remembering what had happened earlier.

When she turned around she found the spot next to her empty. No sign of Dempsey. Had he just climbed over her out of the bed without she had noticed it? It seemed so. How had he done that, she wondered.

"I was eh...." Harry mumbled, switching her legs out of the bed and opening the curtains.

She saw John standing at the other side of the room waving with a piece of paper in his hand.

"I have permission to go home next Tuesday" he said.

"Wow! That's great. Then you'll be released here even before me!"

"Yeah, think you will have another roommate"

"I guess so"

Deep down inside Harry was a little disappointed. She had hoped that they both got the red light to go home on a permanent basis on the same day. She got so used to the fact having him around and asking for help, that she would really miss him.

"I hope we'll be in touch even after we'll both be home" Harry suggested.

"I would love to, but I'm afraid James won't like that"

"He had nothing to say about that. Have....have you perhaps seen him?" Harry asked a little hesitated.

"No. Should I?"

"Not really"

Harry turned around. She didn't want to show John how grateful she was that he hadn't seen Dempsey. Then she noticed another thing. The car keys of his car, she had put in her pockets, were gone!

"You sneaky, little bastard" she said to herself.

"You said something?" John asked turning around to face her.

"No I was talking to myself"

She knew she was probably too late already to catch Dempsey at the entrance of the rehabilitation centre but she had to give it a try. Of course she couldn't get into the elevators straight ahead. She should have known that. It was almost lunch time and all the patients had the same plan: going to the restaurant downstairs. Oh now she wished so much she could walk in a normal way and run down the stairs. But if she was be able to do that, she wouldn't be here. When she finally reached the entrance she saw a Mercedes just leave the parking. If she had been a few minutes earlier....

"James!" Harry yelled in despair after him. But if he hadn't hear her or he was just ignoring her, Harry didn't know, but it was a fact that she was forced to see him drive away without she could do anything about it. Disappointed she walked back inside. During lunch she was so occupied with herself that she didn't pay any attention to the people around her. Some of them tried to start a conversation with her, but she even didn't notice it. At least they gave up. Leaving her alone with her own thoughts. She had so much to think about. How to help to solve Dempsey's case, how it would be to be home again and last but not least how it would be finally been able to make love to him? But thinking of that a little fear started to rise inside her. "What if he's not interested in me anymore now he knew what Charles had done to me?" she said to herself. Alright he had said that he had great difficulties with holding back and that he desperately wanted to go to bed with her, but had he really mean that? Or only said because he knew that it couldn't happen right now? The longer she thought about it, the longer the fear started to grow.

"Are you finished?"

A voice cut through her thoughts and bewildered Harry looked up from her plate into the face of a nurse.

"Are you alright?" the nurse continued with a worried look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I....." Harry pushed the plate aside: "I have too much on my mind I believe"

"Don't over do it"

"What?"

"I don't know what's bothering you, but I have the impression that you're not only occupied with your health right now but that other things need your attention as well. Am I right?"

"I....." Harry stuttered.

"I thought so. Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry shook her head.

"Has it something to do with your boyfriend? I saw him leaving earlier today on his own. Seemed to be far away in his thoughts as well. Did you have another argument with him?"

The nurse shove the plate to the other side of the table and sat down on a chair in front of Harry.

"What do you mean?" Harry tried to say as innocent as possible.

"Well, probably you'll say that it's none of my business, but everyone here knows by now that the arguments between the two of you started to be come hilarious. You seemed to be disagree about almost everything"

"That's not true!" Harry defended herself.

"Not?"

"No, and indeed it's none of your business"

"It is Harry. When it influence your health, it is"

"It has no influence on my health!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. I know you'll have permission to go home on a permanent basis very soon, but you can only go home if you go back to a stable home front. Can you guarantee me from the bottom of your heart that that will happen when you go home?"

Harry bit her lip. Had no idea what to say. At the moment she wasn't sure about anything anymore. Dempsey could have lost his job in the meantime, because he had ignored Spikings earlier orders and they could send him back to New York because of it. It seemed if the problems between them never ended. Dempsey's words from earlier crossed her mind, that he had been so afraid of losing her for a second time. What if she would lose him for a second time as well? Tears started to fill her eyes.

"I don't know it anymore" Harry said finally with despair in her voice.

"I had that feeling already. Are these arguments between the two of you something from now or did you always argue so much in the past?"

"It was mostly only work related, Dempsey and I we started to come together as a couple and shortly after that he had to go back to New York"

"Dempsey? Is that how you still call him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't have that man a first name?"

"I call him James as well"

"But you still find it difficult to call him that way?"

"Sometimes yes"

"Why?"

The nurse looked at Harry who tried to avoid her eyes. It was difficult enough to talk about everything with a total stranger.

"I don't know"

"Don't you trust him? Is it easier for you to keep some distance between the two of you when you call him Dempsey in spite of eh.... James?"

Why pronounced that nurse Dempsey's first name with a little hesitation in her voice? If she had heard his full name for the first time in her life? Harry thought, but paying not too much attention to it.

"I love him!"

"Yeah, but do you trust him?"

"I always trusted him with my own life when we worked on a case"

"Only then?"

Harry took a deep breath. The last couple of weeks Dempsey had assured her over and over again that there wouldn't be any reason at all for her not to trust him. But she knew that she still has her doubts about that. Now that she had resigned from the force and she wouldn't be around him 24 hours a day anymore, she realised that it hadn't made it easier for her to trust him.

"I don't work together with him anymore"

"So and what are your plans then when you'll be home?"

"Haven't thought about that yet"

"Maybe that's the bottom line of your problems"

"What do you mean?"

"I can imagine how you look forward to be home and certainly the first weeks or even months, have some time on your own, to deal with this whole new situation. That's understandable and very normal, but after that? Will you stay at home or what?"

"I don't know"

"And never discussed this with James either?"

"No. Not really"

"So you have no idea how he thinks about it?"

"No"

"Can I give you some advice? Create some space between the two of you for a couple of days. That'll give you both some time to short things out. You both need that. At the moment you are so involved with each others life that you can't see it clearly anymore. You both started to get irritated and in no time there will be ground for another argument"

"James won't like that"

"I'm sure at the end he knows I'll be right. Did I help you a little bit to see everything in the right perspective?"

"Yes you did. Thanks"

"You're welcome. Now I have to go, before they will miss me"

With a little wink the nurse disappeared with the plate in his hand leaving Harry behind. Harry had the feeling if she was forced to sit in a pinball machine. Her head had now even more things to think about as she had before. How could they solve a case when they wouldn't be able to talk about it? Would it be perhaps wise to let the case rest for some time? Or would it be too late by then? When she finally made a decision she stood up and walked upstairs to make, probably, the hardest phone call of her entire life.


	70. Chapter 70

With shaking hands, Harry picked up the receiver to dial Dempsey's number. She knew that he must be at the office right now, so it was easier to phone him at home. In fact she still had no clue what to say to him. And she still hadn't, when she heard his answering machine spring into action. She started to stutter first, but as time went by, her voice became stronger and when she finished she was obvious that she had said the right things and made the right decision. With a deep breath she put the receiver down. That had been the easiest part, now she could only hope Dempsey would buy it and give them both the space they needed.

5 hours went by. Hours in which Harry had some physiotherapy, worked half an hour in the fitness and had a talk with one of the doctors of the rehabilitation centre who was surprised that she showed up on her own without Dempsey. Harry hadn't told him that she had another appointment with her doctor. The last time he had accompanied her, he had almost lost his temper because of some intimate questions the doctor had asked him. Harry really didn't need a rehearsal of that. So last week she had decided that it would be better at all not to mention it to him and go on her own. Now she was glad she had done that. At the moment it had made things even more difficult if he had been present as it had been already.

"As far as we can see, you can go home next week. That will be the 16th"

"What about that Monday? Do I need to come back for one day after the weekend?"

"Unfortunately yes"

"Why?"

"It's procedure"

Harry smiled. She had heard already that this had nothing to do with procedure but everything with insurance. That the centre got extra money if a patient stayed for one day in a new week. That they got paid then for a whole week. Well that was up to them, she had nothing to do with it. Staying that extra, stupid, day made things only a little more complicated.

"I'll sign your release papers on Monday. If you wish you can leave us after 5 p.m. but not earlier, even if your therapies ended at 12 p.m."

"I understand"

"Do you have further questions?"

"No"

"I guess your physiotherapy sessions downstairs will start after 2 or 3 weeks after you have been released here. Have you figured out yet how to come here then?"

"Not really"

"Harry? Why do I get the impression that you haven't think on anything at all what will happen after you'll be released here?"

Harry had to admit that the doctor was right. That before today it hadn't crossed her mind how life would be when she would be released from here. The last couple of years she had planned everything in her life. But now she was living on a day to day basis without even looking at the future. Why was that? Was she perhaps so sure that Dempsey would take care of everything? That she had nothing to do for it? That she could continue with her life if nothing had happened? That wasn't fair. He had enough on his mind already. But how could she chance that at the moment? She was hardly aware that there existed a whole wide word outside this walls of the rehabilitation centre. How could they expect from her that she already knew how to fill her life from now on? Was she only wrestling with this dilemma or had others, soon to be released patients, the same problems?

When she asked John later about it, he admitted to her that he also had no idea how life would be outside the rehabilitation centre.

"I think I'll do the same as you: at the beginning living from day to day and see what time will bring me" he had said to her: "By the way, there's a note on your bed" he added pointing with his finger in the direction of her bed.

Instantly Harry knew from whom the message was. She sat down on the bed before reading it.

"_Hi. So you need some time to short things out? Why? To short what out? What have I done wrong this time? I thought I behaved myself. Is it because I slipped away this morning without letting you know? Is that it? I'm sorry. When will I see you again? I thought....well I don't know what to think anymore. Spikings gave me a hard time when I went back to the office and now you're giving me a hard time also. I think I don't have deserved this. We have had such a good time this weekend. What happened? I really have no idea. Well, I'm not so good in writing, you know that. In fact I only wanted to tell you that we can see Michael on Thursday. At least if you still want to go with me to meet him. Pick you up around 1 p.m. Till then. James_"

He hadn't signed with Love James, or Sweetheart or Princess. She had hurt him deeply with her phone call, Harry realised. The words he had written spoke for themselves. She couldn't blame him that he was angry at her. Probably he thought that she turned into an iceberg again during the last couple of hours. But they both need some time of their own. He didn't realise that now. But soon he would, Harry was convinced about that.

_2 days later_

Harry hadn't heard from Dempsey since he had written her that note. He had stopped by the rehabilitation centre and given the note to a nurse on his way to do an observation she had found out when Chas had visited her this morning.

"What's the matter with Dempsey?" he had asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"He's driving everyone completely mad with his behaviour!"

"What do you mean?" Harry repeated, starting to get worried at the same time.

"He's yelling to everybody. Nobody seems to do something right in his eyes. He even got two lectures of Spikings about his behaviour the last 2 days but it seems he doesn't care. Didn't you noticed that when he is with you?"

"No"

"Strange"

"Yeah" Harry tried to react as normal as possible feeling terrible deep down inside because she knew so well were his bad behaviour came from. He obvious couldn't handle the situation he was forced in. All her hope she had had, that he would understand why she had created some space between them, seemed to be turn out as false hope. He still had no idea why she had done it.

"I....I have a confession to make" Harry started softly.

"About what?" Chas wondered.

"I haven't seen Dempsey since Monday"

"What? Why? He said he visited you every day! Has he been lying?"

"I think so"

"Damn. He slips away on every impossible hour of the day you can imagine saying he's going to visit you. What the hell is he doing then?"

"I don't know"

"I told him the first day he came back that he can't play games with all of us. And that's exactly what he's doing now. I don't believe this! I have to report this to Spikings"

"Chas, no. Don't" Harry exasperated.

"Harry I have to. I can't ignore this. I don't want to think about the reaction of Spikings when he finds this out! And what about the Commissioner? It took our boss hours to convince that man to sign the papers so Dempsey could be the new Superintendent of SI10 in less then 2 weeks time. It won't do Spikings health any good. How could Dempsey do this?"

"Chas? It's not Dempsey's fault. It's mine" Harry clinched her hands together and avoided to look at Chas when she had said that.

"Yours?" Chas shook his head if by doing so he hoped he had heard it all wrong.

"Yes. Mine. I suggested not to see each other for a couple of days. To give us both some space to live our own lives. I needed some time for myself. I thought, hoped that Dempsey understand that, that in the mean time he would do the same, but obvious I had it wrong. He doesn't understand why I did it"

"Did you tell him _why_ you wanted to create some space between the two of you?"

"I tried. I phoned him to tell him and...."

"What?" Chas interrupted her: "You phoned him to tell him this? You even didn't tell him personally? No wonder he's reacting this way. Harry how could you do this to him?"

"I thought he understood"

"The Dempsey I know doesn't understand it at all. He probably think he did something wrong, or, in the worst scenario, thinks you even didn't love him anymore. Harry he goes to pieces without you. Have you still not realised that after all this time?"

"I thought he could handle it"

"Then you are as blind as he is"

After Chas had said that he reached his hand out on the telephone on Harry's bed. He picked up the receiver and dialled a number.

"What are you doing?" Harry panicked.

"You talk to him. Now!"

"I can't" Harry pushed Chas hand, with the receiver in it, aside.

"Oh yes you can"

To Harry's horror Chas had no intention to give in.

"It's me Chas" she heard him saying till someone at the other side of the phone: "I have here someone who wants to talk to you"

Then he pushed Harry the receiver in her hand.

"Talk!"

"I can't" Harry was almost in tears now.

"Harry? Is that you?" she heard a voice saying.

Harry had to clear her throat twice before she could say something back.

"Yes, it's me" she finally said with a small voice.

"Why?" was all the person at the other side came up with.

"I thought I did the right thing. A nurse advised me that it would be wise if...."

But at the moment Harry had said that, she knew that she had chosen the wrong words. Words that only provoked more irritation by the other person on the line.

"What? You followed some stupid advice of a nurse? Who was it anyway? Do you...we know her?"

"I don't know. Never seen her before"

"You can't be serious! What has that nurse to do with our lives?"

"Nothing"

"Then why did you do what she said?"

"I don't know anymore. I was confused. I needed some time of my own and....."

"Why don't you just say that to me? Why?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I thought you needed some time as well to do things on your own. That it would do both of us good. That you understood what I meant to say..."

"No I didn't. I thought you were mad at me and I had no idea why. I thought we had laid all our secrets we had for each other behind us. Why do you start creating new ones again?"

"I don't know"

"Will you stop saying that?" Dempsey's voice became more and more irritated.

"I'm sorry" Harry repeated.

"And that as well"

"But I'm sorry and...."

"Harry!" the warning in Dempsey's voice was enough to keep Harry quiet. If she would push it further, she knew he really should explode.

"Let's forget it"

"Are you sure? I...Do you have time to visit me today?" Harry tried, not daring to hope.

"I don't know"

"You see, you are also saying it"

To Harry's big relief she heard Dempsey bursting out in a big laugh.

"You caught me with that" he said.

"Will you?"

"I try to otherwise I'll phone you later. Okay? And Harry.....?"

"Yes?"

"I think we own Chas a bottle of wine"

"Yeah, I think so"

"Till later Princess. I love you"

Before Harry could say something in return, the line dropped dead. Carefully Harry put the receiver down and turned around.

"Chas? Dempsey and I....." but she was talking to an empty room. Chas had silently left.


	71. Chapter 71

When Dempsey indeed phoned her later that day, he was apologising immediately that he couldn't come over, because he had no permission to leave the office. He tried to act normal, but Harry heard in his intonation of his voice that he wasn't his normal self and she could only blame herself for that. The words Chas had said to her earlier: "_He's going into pieces without you_" were still ringing over and over again in her head. After all he had done for her these last weeks, it was so obvious. Why had she been so blind not to realise that herself?

"I think I deserve this detention after my behaviour of the last few days" she heard him saying, producing a half smile.

"From what I heard from Chas, it must have been a nightmare working with you"

"Yeah, I think I didn't really act as a professional. I guess"

Harry first impulse was to answer with: 'You let your emotions influence your work again' which was true, but saying this to him would have start another discussion and that was exactly what she wanted to avoid.

"Can you bring me my file tomorrow?" she asked switching the subject.

"Your file? Which file?"

"With my name on it"

"Where do you need that one for?" he asked surprised.

"I think I need it"

"Need it for what?"

"Your case"

"My case? What has my case to do with your file?"

"Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Do you also have a photo of McAllister?"

"There's a photo of him, but it's not a resent one. What did you find out?"

"I wanted to talk about it already this weekend, but so much happened that I had no time for it"

"Tell me now then"

"Dempsey? I'm not sure yet. I have to lay your case file and mine next to each other to see if I'm right"

"Right about what?"

"Dempsey!" Harry begged: "I have to find out for myself first. I don't want to give you false hope"

"Oh that's great. Is that the reason that you wanted to create some space between us? The things you needed to short out? Without informing me first?"

It was so easy to say "Yes" now, but that wouldn't be fair. That hadn't been the things she had to think about. In this she needed to be honest with him. He deserved that.

"James?" Harry started carefully: "You know I have been attacked. I... I suspect that McAllister is the man who attacked me"

"What?" Harry could hear the impact her suggestion had on the man on the other side of the line. He was speechless.

"Are you still there?" Harry tried if seconds passed by in which no reaction followed. She only heard him breathe very heavily as if he had great difficulties to understand the thing she had just said to him.

"James? I'm not sure yet!" Harry tried, hoping to make everything a little lighter than it was.

"But...but you suspect it!"

"Yes. There are some resemblances"

"But why hadn't Spikings or Chas noticed this?"

"It happened so fast. I guess that Chas hadn't seen him very clearly either. It was a very dark night when it happened"

"Didn't you search for his photo back then?"

"I had no name. He seemed to be disappeared. I searched for him you know that, but as you said earlier: records has only an old photo of him. A photo from which I didn't recognised it was him "

"Well he's sitting behind bars now. Must be no problem to get a more recent photo of him now. I'll make some phone calls. See where I can come up with"

"Thanks"

"I see you tomorrow. I have to hang up"

"I understand"

"Till tomorrow Princess"

"Till tomorrow James"

Why couldn't she add the three words she knew he wanted to hear so much from her right now? The three little words he had used earlier today without having any restrictions? But she couldn't. She heard the disappointment in his voice when he softly continued: "Sleep well"

"You too"

Then she hung up.

Dempsey also put the receiver down. It was hard for him to concentrate on his work after all he had heard, but he had to type that damn report before he could leave. He had promised Spikings to do so before he went home. How many times had he left the office these last 2 days saying he went to see Harry and had just sat down in the pub resting with his head in his hands? Not knowing what to do. He couldn't remember it anymore. He was sure that Chas had kept his mouth shut, but was convinced that Spikings had some suspicions that his behaviour had everything to do with his relationship with Harry. And now he had to ask the man for another afternoon of. Tomorrow to visit Michael. He had arranged that without even knowing if he could go. What would Harry say if he had to postpone it? He didn't want to think about that.

3 hours went by. 3 hours in which Dempsey was the only person present in the office. All the others had left already or were busy with doing their work on the streets. All of a sudden the door of Spiking's office flew open.

"Ah. I see you are still here"

"Yeah, so?" Dempsey answered looking up from his typing and groaning inside, because he had made another mistake in the file he was typing.

"I need you in my office"

When Dempsey didn't follow him immediately he added: "Now Lieutenant. And close the door behind you"

When he had done that, Dempsey turned around to look at Spikings who was sitting behind his desk with a piece of paper in his hand.

"I have something here you must know. Dave is working on it already, but it involves you as well even if I took you off the case"

"What do you mean?"

"Read yourself" Spikings said, handing the piece of paper over to Dempsey.

"You're kidding me?" Dempsey's first reaction was, when he had read the paper.

"I'm afraid not"

"But how? I thought McAllister had been locked up for years?"

"That's what we all thought, but it turned out the man escaped from prison only they "forgot" to tell us that"

"So? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I only wanted to let you know what happened"

Dempsey looked down at the paper for a second time. This was something he never thought about in his wildest dreams that should happen. Especially not now. He had to inform Harry about this. She wouldn't like it, she wouldn't like it all especially not after what she had told him about her suspicions about McAllister. He had to tell Harry also now about the photo he had found at Winfield Hall during the weekend. How would she react on that? Barely had he accused her from hiding something for him again, at the same moment he was doing the same thing to her.

"You can go now" he heard Spikings saying, not exactly realising it.

"Is there something else?" Spikings added when Dempsey made no move to leave the office.

"I...I wanted to ask if I could get tomorrow afternoon free, but I'm afraid that's out of the question now?" Dempsey tried carefully, knowing already what the other man's answer would be.

"Free? Free to do what?" Spikings exasperated in total disbelief.

"Visiting someone"

"Harry?"

"Not exactly"

"Can you be a little bit more specific then?"

"Visiting someone together with Harry"

"Lieutenant? I don't have time for these sort of games. Together with Harry to visit who?"

"Forget it" Dempsey stood up from his chair and wanted to leave Spiking's office, but before he could do that, he felt a hand on his arm to hold him back.

"Who do you want to visit together with Harry?" Spikings repeated looking Dempsey straight in the eyes.

"Just someone"

"Has that someone a name?"

Dempsey bit his lip. Would it be wise to mention Michael's name now or not? Probably not.

"I told you: forget it"

"No Lieutenant. That "someone" is obvious very important to you and to Harry otherwise you wouldn't do so mysterious about it. Or would it be better if I don't know about it at all? Well?"

"Eh...."

"I was already afraid you would say that. Alright then. You can get tomorrow afternoon free"

Surprised and totally astound Dempsey looked at the other man who rubbed his head first and then shook it. If he wasn't completely sure if he was doing the right thing here.

"I hope only one thing....that I won't regret it later" Spikings said more to himself than to Dempsey.

"You won't regret it" Dempsey assured, starting to whistle before he closed the door behind him.

"Lieutenant!" he heard Spikings yelling after him, but, because of the closed door, he missed the smile that crept over the other man's face.

With the paper in his hand, Dempsey sat down behind his own desk. He knew that it would only be a matter of time now if someone should noticed that McAllister's file was missing. And what then? They should know he had taken it. That, against all Spikings warnings to stay away from the case. And even worse: he had involved Harry in it too! They had to hurry up to solve the case. But where to begin? He had still no idea.

The only thing he wanted, was to inform Harry about the new developments, but when he looked at his watch, he realised that that had to wait till tomorrow. Harry would be in bed by now. Putting the paper aside for a short moment of time, he typed the last lines of his report, took his jacket from the chair and left the room.

The next step was to pick up Harry's file. Better to do it now straight away so he could read it more carefully later when he went home. To his big relief, the file with Harry's name was still there. With the file in one hand, the piece of paper in the other he went downstairs on his way to the car.

"There's something strange going on here" Spikings said to himself when he looked out of the window some time later and saw Dempsey leave the building "And why do I have the feeling that it can only go worse from now on?" he added, turning around and walk back to his desk.


	72. Chapter 72

The next day, Harry had to get up very early, because her physiotherapy session started at 8:00 that morning. She had hardly time to eat breakfast.

"I have to run" she yelled to a nurse who entered her room with a file under her arm. Well running was not exactly the point here.

"Ho, wait a minute" she held her back: "Mr. Dempsey asked me to give you this. He said it was important and that I had to give it to you personally"

"What? At this hour of the day he had been here already?" Harry asked surprised.

"I guess so"

When the nurse put the file in Harry's hand and turned around to leave the room, Harry could only stare at her hands. It was only 8:00 am! What the hell was he doing up so early? Knowing him he always showed up late at the office. She had covered him so many times in the past. Had he bettered his life? Hard to believe. The little note that he had clipped at the front of the file made her even more suspicious.

_Hi Sweetheart. We need to talk. Something had happened. See if you can read both files as soon as possible. See you this afternoon. Love James_

"Thanks" Harry said without looking up, not realising the nurse had been gone in the meantime.

"Thanks for what?"

"What?"

"I said thanks for what?"

"Oh sorry John, I didn't mean to say that to you"

"I thought so already. What's the matter? You look a little surprised"

"James. He was here"

"So?"

"On this hour of the day! That's so untypical him"

"Well, maybe he was on his way to somewhere else and..."

"Yeah, but to do what? He didn't mention anything at all to me about that"

"You have to ask him. I don't know" John shrugged his shoulders. After all these weeks he had spent with Harry in a room, he still hadn't figured out what to think exactly about the relationship between Harry and James. One moment she called him her boyfriend and he called her his Princess or Sweetheart and they seemed best friends and deeply in love, the next moment they seemed to hate each others guts. He had never met two people in his life who were obvious so uncertain about each others feelings.

Harry walked over to her closet and locked the file up in her safe-deposit. She had no time right now to look at it or read it.

"See you later" she said to John.

"Yeah, see you later"

Still thinking about Dempsey's little, cryptic, note, Harry walked to the elevators. But before she could reach them she saw someone in the opposite corridor looking at her. It was the nurse she had met and who had given her the advice to create some space between her and Dempsey.

"Hey" Harry yelled at her, but the nurse didn't react. It even seemed if she was so astound seeing Harry there, that she turned around and walked away as fast as she could.

"Wait!" Harry tried again, but without any luck. She was gone.

"Strange" Harry said to herself. Why was that nurse acting like they had never met each other before?

Not paying any attention to it anymore, Harry went down to the fitness room. Her leg was still hurting after each session. Deep down inside she had doubts if this was indeed the right thing to do for her. Okay, it had helped her to get her power back in her leg but at the moment it pronounced more pain than it did something good for her health. Well still one and a half weeks to go in here, than she could follow her own programme. She looked forward to the time she could do some fitness together with Dempsey. That would be much more fun than doing exercises with all the patients here.

The rest of the morning Harry was free to do what she wanted. It was a lovely day so first she took her wheelchair to spend some time outside sitting in the sun, enjoying talking with other patients and making jokes. But while doing that, she couldn't overcome the impression that someone observed her. But when she looked around, she saw nobody.

"Of course not. You started to get real paranoid. You are completely safe in here. So stop it" she said to herself.

But a half hour later, when she rolled her wheelchair back to her room, she had again the impression that she wasn't alone. But there was no one to be seen in the corridor. No nurse, no other patient, nobody.

"Is that you Little James?" Harry whispered softly, knowing how ridiculous this must sound. No answer.

"I think it will be good that I don't have to spend much time in here anymore"

"Why not?" she heard a voice saying behind her.

"James? Is it one a clock already?" Surprised she looked down at her watch, but till her total amazement it wasn't even half past 12.

"What are you doing here? Or must I say, again?"

When Harry turned her wheelchair around to look at Dempsey, she saw immediately that there was something wrong. He had a deep frown on his forehead and he seemed to be nervous.

"What is it?"

"We need to talk"

"You already wrote me that. What about?"

"Not here in the corridor. Can we use that room? You know we used before?"

Harry's face lighten up a little bit. She knew exactly which one he was referring to.

"Sure. Why not?"

In total silence Dempsey rolled her wheelchair into the room and closed the door behind them.

"What's so urgent that you showed up here in the early hours of the day to hand my file to a nurse?" Harry started when Dempsey only sat down on a chair and buried his head in his hands.

"James? What's wrong?"

"McAllister escaped from prison" was all he said, having no idea how to bring the news otherwise up to her. He had thought about it during the whole night. Turning over and over in his bed till he stood up and drove to the rehabilitation centre to handle the file over to a nurse before he got back to the office.

"What?" Harry exasperated: "Tell me that's not true"

"It is true. He escaped during the weekend. They only forgot to inform SI10 about it till yesterday evening"

"Is that why you asked me to read the files as soon as possible?"

"Yes"

"Do the others know that you took the files with you?"

"No, but I'm sure Spikings has his doubts and suspects what I'm doing behind his back"

"That man always seems to know everything you know that. Does he also know that I'm involved?"

"I really hope not"

"Well, I'll read the files tonight, listen to the tape, make some notes and then you can pick the files up tomorrow and bring them back"

"I can't pick them up tomorrow"

"Why not?"

"Have to do another case tomorrow. Observation for a jewel heist. Can you take them with you when I pick you up for the weekend? Then we can bring them back at the office before we drive home. It was hard enough already to get this afternoon off and don't want to ask Spikings for another couple of hours. He wanted to know already who we planned to visit"

"Did you mention Michael's name?"

"No"

Carefully Harry laid her hand on Dempsey's shoulder and squeezed it.

"I know how hard this must be for you"

"You have no idea" Dempsey pushed Harry's hand aside and stood up from his chair.

"James? Don't do this. I'm trying to help you here. There's no reason to reject me or is this a reaction on what I have done earlier this week?" Harry asked with hesitation in her voice.

"No"

"You still don't believe me that I regret it what I have said to you don't you?"

"Damn Harry. I have other, more important, things on my mind right now"

"You don't have to yell at me. You wanted to solve that case, not me"

"Oh now it's all of a sudden only my own decision? You are as much involved in it as I am Lady"

"Yes and on who's request was that?"

"Nobody's! You volunteered to help me. Or is that something you have forgotten already?"

"I told you, your case and mine are related. There's a connection somewhere I only haven't figured out yet which one"

"Well I hope you'll find that connection as soon as possible, because this whole case started to drive me crazy"

And what about me? Harry thought, but didn't mention it to Dempsey.

"Let's get out of here. We have a little guy waiting on us" Harry said, hoping that when she would distract Dempsey a little bit, his mood would change.

"You're right. I wanted to drive to a toy shop first to buy something for the little guy, if that's alright with you?"

"What do you have in mind to buy for him?" Harry asked, being glad that, at least for this moment, there would be another, more pleasant, thing to talk about.

"To be honest, I don't know. I'm not so good in buying stuff for a 6 year old boy"

"Well, I have to disappoint you, neither am I"

"But you know something about kids. More than I know"

"You're learning. I'm sure, they will give us some advice in the shop"

"Yeah. Shall we go?"

"An excellent idea"

A couple of minutes later there were on their way to the parking. Not realising as she did it, Harry turned her head from the right to the left and back.

"What are you doing?" Dempsey asked surprised when he saw here turning around completely in her wheelchair now if she thought that someone stood behind them.

"I don't know, but since this morning I have the feeling if someone follows me"

"You see it for yourself, there's nobody"

"I know, but... it started shortly after I saw that nurse again"

"What nurse?" Dempsey asked, putting in the meantime her wheelchair in the boot of the car and handling her stick.

"That nurse I told you about, who advised me not to see you for a couple of days"

"Oh Harry no. Don't start that again. That was the most stupid advice I have heard in my entire life. When did you see her?"

"This morning. In the corridor upstairs. It was so strange. I waved at her, yelled at her but she didn't react. As if I scared her to death"

Harry slipped into the passengers seat of the car and waited till Dempsey sat next to her before she continued: "The next moment she almost run away. Maybe it was a ghost I saw"

"Harry?" Dempsey turned on the driver seat and cupped Harry's chin in both of his hands: "Look at me"

A little hesitated Harry did what Dempsey requested.

"THERE ARE NO GHOSTS!"

"But I know what I saw!"

"You met a total unprofessional nurse. That's all. A nurse that realised that she had been wrong and is an absolute coward otherwise she would have admitted to you that she had made a mistake. So will you please stop acting if someone is after you? There is nobody and there won't be anybody after you"

"Maybe" Harry said with a soft voice.

"Oh why don't you believe me?"

"I want to, really but...

"Women" Dempsey said in pure frustration, starting the engine and driving away. When would he ever been able to understand them?


	73. Chapter 73

It didn't take long before Dempsey stopped the car before a little toy shop.

"I thought you had plans to go to Harrods" Harry said surprised.

"If you want we can go, but I thought this must be a little easier for you"

Harry gave him a dazzling smile. Sometimes he was quite clever.

He wrapped his arm around her waist after leaving the car.

"I want to buy something for Sophia as well" he announced when they went inside the shop.

"What's that for?"

"Come on Harry. It will be the first present I buy for my daughter"

First present? And what about all the stuffed animals back at Winfield Hall then? When she asked him about them, Dempsey turned his head away. He picked up a toy from the shelves and pretended he was very interested in it.

"Don't say, you didn't buy them"

"No I didn't. Angela did"

"But you paid for them. Didn't you?"

He nodded his head.

"No I didn't do that either"

"Not? Who paid for ..." She didn't finish her sentence. She knew already who paid for them: her father.

"You let him doing that? Why?"

"He insisted on it"

"And you even didn't discuss that with him?"

"Harry? Why are you so upset about that? It's his granddaughter! That's what grandfathers do from time to time: spoiling their grandchildren"

"Spoiling! That's exactly the right word here. He never spoilt me that's for sure. Why is he doing it now?"

"He didn't spoil you?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Harry asked grapping Dempsey's arm.

"You lived in a castle Lady. With personal who do everything for you and your father"

"I don't live in a castle Dempsey. Winfield Hall is the place where I grew up. I've told you that so many times before"

"Yeah, and one day it'll be all yours!"

"Is that it? Do you still don't understand I don't want, need, all that luxury? That the only thing I really want is you? You and Sophia. That I will only be happy with you two having around? I asked my father shortly before you had to leave for New York to give Winfield Hall to one of my cousins when he dies. I knew that it would always be a part of discussion, something that would stand between us if I accepted it as part of his inheritance. I didn't want it back then and I don't want it now!"

"You... you gave Winfield Hall up because of me?" Astound Dempsey shook his head. Had she really done that for him? He had always thought that Winfield Hall had meant everything to her.

"Yes I did. When I told my father my decision he didn't understand it and I couldn't explain him why I did it. All these years we have wasted without admitting that we loved each other because we both thought that our total different back rounds would not allowed us to be together, I don't want that anymore. You couldn't change your back round, but I could. Are you not a little bit pleased now?" Harry added with a small voice.

"But...You buried Little James there. Doesn't that make any difference now?" Dempsey said not knowing what to say else on that moment and the only thing that had crossed his mind during all what Harry had said to him.

"I told you already that my father took care of everything. I'm sure he suggested to bury our son at the graveyard of Winfield Hall, but I can't remember. I wasn't myself anymore after Little James died so I let it happen. My father arranged everything and I was glad he did. Now I regret it that I can hardly remember anything of that day anymore. I only know, Angela was there and Chas and Spikings attended the funeral, but everything else is a long black hallway to me"

"Sweetheart" Dempsey wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders: "Wouldn't it time to talk to your father? To ask him about the funeral? To talk things out?"

"Maybe you are right"

"Not maybe"

"Okay. You are right"

A smile crept over Dempsey's face which didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

"Now you get me finally where you wanted me" she whispered.

"No. You realise that I'm right. And now let's see if we are able to find something for Michael otherwise we don't even have to go to that orphanage anymore" Dempsey answered holding Harry for a short moment of time tight against his own body and putting a kiss on her fore head.

Harry wrapped her arm around Dempsey's waist. She was so glad that she had told him about her decision to give Winfield Hall up and why she had done it. It was obvious that it had been something that had crossed his mind perhaps since that first time they had visited Winfield Hall together. He would never admit it, but the big relief she had felt only minutes ago when she had told him about her decision to give Winfield Hall up because of him said enough.

"Hey this is cute" Dempsey's voice cut through her thoughts.

"But that's for girls!"

They stood for a big dolls house with tiny little furniture and dolls.

"Yeah" she heard the disappointment in his voice.

"Can I help you?" another voice said.

"I think so" Harry answered when Dempsey had only eyes for the dolls house and for nothing else.

"You are searching something for a little girl?" the woman asked.

"No more something for a little boy"

"Toys for a boy are over there" the woman pointed with a finger to the other side of the shop.

"James come on" Harry took Dempsey's hand in hers with the intention to lead him away from this temptation.

"I think your husband is more interested in something else" the woman smiled at Harry.

"He's not my husband"

"Oh I'm sorry. I thought..." Harry saw the cheek of the woman become red. Then she turned around and walked away. Unfortunately Harry knew exactly how that woman must feel, she felt the same.

"See what you have done" Harry hissed when Dempsey seemed to notice that the woman had left them alone.

"I didn't do anything!" Dempsey defended himself.

"You obvious did. You gave the impression that we are married!"

"Probably she overheard our conversation. We acted as a married couple to her"

"You are unbelievable"

"Married couples argue all the time"

"And you know of course all about it" Harry said sarcastically.

"You can't blame her. We talked about our daughter so..."

Harry took a deep breath. Yeah if you put it this way, it would be no wonder that the woman thought they were married.

"Let's find something for Michael. I want to get out of here before I'm not able to walk at all anymore today"

Hand in hand they walked over to the boys department.

"We are still no further than before" Harry picked a little car up from a shelf and put it down immediately.

"Why don't we buy something he can use to play with together with his friends?" Harry suggested looking at a big bunch of plastic balls hanging in a net on the ceiling.

"That's a good idea. Why didn't I come up with that?"

"Because you had more eyes for something else"

"But that house was so cute"

"Do I get the impression that I'm out shopping with a big kid here or what?"

"Come on Harry. Admit that you like it too"

Harry turned her head to look at the house in the corner of the shop. It was cute, he was right.

"Okay" she finally said: "It's cute"

"Hey you are agree with me. What a wonderful day"

"Now you seem to pretend that I'm always disagreeing with you!"

"Hey I was joking" Dempsey squeezed Harry's hand when he saw the sad look in her eyes: "I didn't mean it"

"Have you two made a choice in the meantime?" the woman from before was back not knowing what to think of the couple standing in front of her.

"Yeah. A ball please"

"What colour?"

"Colour?"

"Yes, blue, white, orange?"

"I don't know. What do you think?" This time Dempsey didn't want to make the same mistake as he had done before. Maybe it was indeed wiser to let Harry chose.

"White"

"Alright. The white one then"

"And a marker" Harry added.

"A marker? What do you need a marker for?"

"I explain that to you later"

In fact Harry only wanted one thing: to get out of here. She felt so embarrassed. Why had Dempsey always had to made things so complicated? Even buying such a normal thing as a present for a 6 year old kid seemed to end in discussions and disagreements between them.

5 minutes later they were back in the car. Harry couldn't avoid that she was breathing heavily by the time she had fasten her seat bell. She wasn't used to the fact anymore to go out and do some shopping. As even this short journey had already taken so much of her energy, what would that mean for the near future? she thought. She still had a long, very long way to go, she realised not feeling happy about it.

"Can you now tell me where you need that marker for?" Dempsey asked turning to her when he sat down behind the steering wheel.

"I thought that maybe it would be an idea if you write something nice on that ball for Michael. Something personal. You don't like it" Harry added with a sad voice seeing the surprised look at Dempsey's face: "Forget it"

Harry looked out at the window beside her and missed the big smile that crept over Dempsey's face. When she felt his hand on her arm, she did if she didn't notice it. It came as a total shock when she felt Dempsey's warm breath on her face.

"No I won't forget it" she heard him whisper in her ear: "That's so sweet. I'm sure Michael would love it"

"You like it?" Harry wondered, turning her head not realising that Dempsey was near her than she thought.

"Yes. I do"

Their eyes met for a short moment of time. Harry saw something showing in his that she had never seen in them before. Was it adoration? She had no idea, but she had no time to think about it because the next moment he had put his lips on hers and kissed her. Before she really could respond she heard him groan.

"What is it?" she asked worried.

"That damn steering wheel hit something that it better couldn't hit" Dempsey answered groaning for a second time and falling back in his seat with a painful look on his face.

Harry burst out in a loud laugh.

"A reason why it's not wise to do fancy stuff in a car James. I thought you must know that by now"

"You can laugh. You don't have to deal with it!"

"No we have to deal with other things"

"Like what?"

"I'm sure you can come up with something" Harry said still smiling.

"I have no idea"

"Girls stuff"

"Girls stuff?" he repeated still having no idea where she was talking about.

"Yeah girls stuff. Like men who try to do seduce a woman in a car and then..."

"Alright, alright I get the idea"

"Where's that ball we bought?"

"On the back seat of the car"

With a lot of difficulties Harry bent herself over to pick the ball up. Then she pushed the marker in Dempsey's hand. She saw him hesitating.

"What do you want me to write on the ball?" he asked after a couple of minutes biting on the back of the marker. All the time, Harry tried hard to keep her composure and not to laugh. Why was it still so difficult for him to express his feelings? She really thought he had made some progress the last couple of weeks.

"What do you think of: _To Michael, your friend James_ or something like that?" Harry suggested.

"I have a better idea"

Harry watched how he wrote some words on the ball. When he finished he handled the ball over to her and immediately fasten his seat bell. She was still surprised he was doing that every time he was sitting next to her as if it had become a natural habit in the meantime. Then he started the engine and drove away before Harry turned the ball over in her hands. She was really intrigued to see what he had written.

She had never expected the text _To Michael with all our love James and Harry_" written in big letters on the top of the ball. Underneath the words he had made a little drawing, a small heart. Speechless Harry sat in her seat wrapped with her arms around the ball which she had pushed against her body.

"You like it?" she heard him saying with a little hesitation in his voice if he was afraid that he had chosen the wrong words.

"I bet that's the most wonderful gift he has ever had in his entire life" Harry whispered softly laying a hand on his arm: "Thank you"

"You deserve it" was all he said before he parked the car before a big grey building with a even greyer name on it saying "Orphanage". They had finally made it.


	74. Chapter 74

When Dempsey had parked the car in front of the orphanage, he laid his hands on the steering wheel and looked straight ahead through the front window of the car. Harry, who had already turned around and wanted to leave the car, saw him frowning. She followed his gaze. A little boy with blond hair ran down the stairs up to the car.

"Seems as if he waited on us" she heard him saying.

Astound Harry could only stare at the little figure: "That's Michael?' she whispered.

"Yeah" Dempsey answered, realising that Harry reacted a little strange here.

"What's the matter?" he asked worried when he saw the look on her face. She seemed in shock.

But Harry got no time to react anymore. The little boy had reached the car and was jumping up and down with pure excitement. Dempsey hardly got a chance to step out of the car, before two arms were wrapped around his waist and the little boy's head leaned against his stomach.

"What took you so long?" Michael said looking up at Dempsey.

"Hi Sport. I had no chance to visit you earlier"

"But you did that almost every day! Why did you stop doing it?"

"Hey. It won't happen again. I promise you that" he assured the little guy striking with his hand over the boys hair.

Michael let him doing it till he realised that Dempsey didn't come alone this time.

"Who is she?" Michael asked pointing a finger in Harry's direction in be wilderness.

"Come I'll introduce you to her" Dempsey took Michael's hand in his and together they walked to Harry's side of the car.

Harry had opened the door of the car in the meantime and swung her legs outside. She waited till they came closer before she said: "Hi I'm Harry. You must be Michael"

"Harry is a boys name. You are a woman" Two blue eyes were bored in Harry's.

"Well my name of birth is Harriet, but my friends call me Harry" Harry said, reaching out her hand with the intention to shake the little boys hand.

"I'm not your friend!" the boy announced.

Dempsey saw Harry biting her lip and Michael turning around at the same time.

"I told you about her" Dempsey answered, grabbing Michael's arm to stop him from walking away.

"You told me about her yeah, but don't you see, she reacts on me if she had seen a ghost!"

"What?"

"A ghost. Don't you know what a ghost is?" Michael asked with anger in his voice.

"Of course I know what a ghost is"

Where the hell was Michael talking about? Dempsey thought. But then he remembered Harry's reaction only minutes ago when she had seen Michael coming out of the building. When he turned his head to look at Harry, he could feel that she still wasn't her normal self. Why? What was going on here?

"Harry are you alright?"

He still saw Harry staring at the little guy as if she indeed had seen a ghost.

"Can you give me my wheelchair?" Harry asked with a small voice not answering him, what worried him even more.

"Sure"

Walking to the back of the car, Dempsey opened the boot. Michael had follow him in silence. Dempsey became not aware of the little guy before he stood next to him.

"What's that?"

"That's what we call a wheelchair. Have you never seen one before?"

"Where do you need that one for?"

"For Harry"

"Why?"

It was obvious that Michael had never really listened or understand what Dempsey had tried to tell him about Harry.

"I have told you what happened to her"

"But she's also a cop. But she can't even walk! How is she doing that?"

"We both hope it'll be temporarily. She's able to walk again but not far"

"Then why did you bring her here?"

"Because she wanted to meet you"

"Well I don't want to meet her!"

Dempsey saw Michael indeed walk away from the car now with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey" he said, running after him to catch him before he would be to far away and grabbing the little guy's arm: "Now you listen to me. Harry is a part of my life just as much as you are whether you like it or not. You have to get use to it!"

"What ever"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You saw her reaction on me. She doesn't like me and I don't like her"

Still holding Michael's arm, Dempsey dragged Michael back to the car where Harry had been able to position herself in the wheelchair.

"What's the matter with you?" Dempsey asked Harry looking down on her: "You act real strange. If you indeed had seen a ghost"

"It's nothing"

Dempsey wasn't about to agree with her, but knew it would be useless to force Harry to explain everything to him or it would end in another argument in front of Michael and that was the last thing he wanted to happen right now. In spite of saying anything, Harry bent over to the passenger seat.

"We have a present for you" she said reaching her hands, with the ball, out to Michael.

"A present?" they both heard Michael say carefully taking in a deep breath: "A present for me?" If he couldn't believe what he had heard.

"Yes for you. You can play with it with together with your friends in here and we..." Dempsey wanted to continue but Michael suddenly started to scream.

"I don't want a present! I don't need a present!"

"Ho wait a minute. Why don't you want it?"

Dempsey laid a hand on Michael's shoulder, but the little guy pushed the hand away.

"You are just like the others! I should have known it"

"What others? Michael? What others? Where are you talking about?"

But Michael had no intention to listen anymore to what Dempsey had to say and before they realised it, he had turned around and run away.

"What was that all about?" Dempsey asked astounded, when he finally was able to speak again.

"I don't know" Harry admitted.

"And why did you react in such a strange way on him?"

"Michael was right. It was indeed as if I saw a ghost"

"Oh no. Don't tell me that you have seen Michael before"

"No" Harry closed the door of the car and made herself sit more comfortable in her wheelchair.

"Not Michael"

"Who then? Harry?"

Dempsey knelt down in front of Harry's wheelchair and took her hands in his: "Tell me. What's going on here?"

"Didn't you notice the resemblances?"

"Resemblances? Resemblances with whom?"

"Little James"

"Little James? What the hell are you talking about? Michael is not Little James, Harry! I never saw him as a replacement for our son. You know that and I thought that you did the same"

"Yeah, but he looks like Little James would have been when he was 6 years old if he was still alive. The same blond hair, the same blue eyes. Why didn't you tell me how Michael looked like? Why?"

"Because I never saw the resemblance between them" was all Dempsey could say: "I have only seen photos of Little James. You have seen him in real, I didn't"

"You don't have to rub that in my face. That's not fair. I have told you that he looked as much like me as Sophia looks like you. You knew that!" Harry was almost in tears now.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't indeed fair of me to say. But sweetheart it had never crossed my mind that Michael and Little James..." Dempsey couldn't finish his sentence because they were interrupted by a woman who pattered him on his shoulder.

"You must be Mr. Dempsey"

Dempsey stood up again.

"Yes I am. What's the problem?"

"A little guy. Who is crying his eyes out of his head over there. He was so thrilled when he heard that you wanted to visit him again. He didn't stop talking about it since we told him. Hardly slept last night and counted the seconds to when you would be here. What have you done to disappoint him so much?"

"I...We" Dempsey tried but in fact had no idea how to react on what the woman had said. It was Harry who saved him by saying: "Go to him James"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am fine" Harry knew that Dempsey wouldn't believe her, not after what she had just told him.

"Come on, move!" She gave Dempsey a push against his body. He seemed to be paralysed.

When Harry saw him walk away, she swallowed hard. She still hadn't overcome the shock she had been forced to go through only minutes ago. She had never made a vision how Michael would look like. Maybe it had been better to ask Dempsey about that. Then she would have been prepared for this. The worst thing was that, now she had seen Michael, she realised how it had could have been when Little James had stayed alive. She even more regretted it now that they hadn't brought Michael with them when they had visited Winfield Hall last weekend. She understood Dempsey's request now much better why he had asked her to take the little fellow with them. This orphanage wasn't a place for a kid to grow up. It looked more like a grave yard.

"And you must be Mr. Dempsey's girlfriend" the woman said, cutting through Harry's thought.

It was just an statement as if she couldn't be someone else.

"Yes, I am. We both thought that it would be a good idea that I should see Michael as well. I heard so much about him"

"Michael is a sweet kid. Maybe he had given you another impression, but he's really a nice little guy. Outside of your boyfriend, nobody seemed to care much about him. That's why we were so surprised that we hadn't seen your boyfriend here for weeks"

"He had so many other things on his mind" Harry started to defend Dempsey.

"With you I suppose? Must not be easy for the both of you to deal with this new situation you have been forced in"

"No" was all Harry answered. She had no intention to tell the woman how difficult it in fact was.

"I have to leave you alone. There are other kids waiting on me"

"I understand"

"Take good care of yourself"

"Thanks" Harry answered a little astound. Outside the rehabilitation centre hardly nobody had realised how hard it had been for her and Dempsey to deal with all the problems they had found on their way the last few weeks and here she met a woman, who she had never seen before, but who seemed exactly to know what they had been going through.

Still thinking about the short meeting she had had with this woman, Harry wheeled herself to the corner of the building on which she had seen Dempsey disappeared. In the distance she saw him sitting on a bench with Michael next to him. He had wrapped his left arm around the little guy's shoulders. With his right hand he was drawing something in the air if he tried to explain something to the little fellow. Michael seemed not too much impressed, she saw him wipe away his tears from his cheek with his arm. Harry had no idea what to do. Must she interfere between the two or stay behind? Then as if Dempsey felt she had arrived at the scene he winked her to come closer. Slowly Harry rolled her wheelchair over the ground which wasn't so easy. Used to a ground especially prepared for wheelchairs and sticks to roll and walk, rolling over only grass was a real nightmare. Of course Dempsey saw her struggle, but if he stood up now, he had to leave Michael alone and he knew that that wouldn't be a wise decision right now. He could only hoped Harry understood why he hadn't chosen for her this time.

"Hi" Harry said, breathing heavily when she finally reached the bench. On her lap laid the ball she and Dempsey had bought for Michael. Harry hadn't even realised she had taken it with her till she was halfway already. But it had made rolling her wheelchair with both hands and balancing the ball on her lap at the same time, not easier. Her arms were hurting like hell, but she tried to ignore the pain.

"I'm sorry" Michael whispered when Harry rolled her chair to sit next to Michael's other side: "I didn't mean what I said earlier to you"

"I know. You was just as confused as I was" Harry suggested.

"Yeah. James explained to me that I look like your dead son. That you also have a daughter, Sophia. How...how does she look like? I always wished I had a little sister"

"Well" Harry pretended if she was thinking very hard: "If you imagine James as a little boy, then you know how Sophia looks like. She's a little copy of the man who's sitting next to you"

"Really?" Michael turned his head to look at Dempsey.

"Would you like to meet her?" Dempsey asked carefully.

"Great"

"I'll see if I can arrange that"

"James?" Michael asked softly not looking at him anymore but looking at the ground. He seemed uncertain.

"What is it?"

"Would you play football with me?"

"Sure"

Dempsey stood up from the bench, picking the ball up from Harry's lap.

"But before we do that I'll show you something"

Dempsey turned the ball in his hand so that Michael could read what he had written on it.

"Is that really for me?" Michael asked, if he still couldn't believe that they had indeed bought him a present.

"Yes, it's really for you"

"What do I have to do for that?"

"What do you mean? A present is a present. You don't have to do anything for it"

"That's not true. I always had to..." In the middle of the sentence Michael stopped abruptly. If he had said too much already. He shrugged his shoulders and slipped of the bench, scrapping the ball out of Dempsey's hand and running away with it.

Harry and Dempsey shared a puzzled look.

"Was it just me or do you also have the feeling that there lays more after this whole present thing than we know about?" Dempsey said holding a hand through his hair.

"It's not only you. I think it has something to do with his past. A past nobody knows about, remember?"

"Yeah, but I hope you are agree with me that I don't want to think about what he means with "I always had" and that we have to fill it in with something like "to do something before I get a present" And if that's what he meant: what horrible things did they forced him to do?"

"Believe me, I don't want to think about that either. Just go to play some football with him. I'm waiting here"

"Are you sure? Not going with me, correction us?"

"No, this is boys stuff. I'll be watching you two. That will be enough for me"

Harry indeed enjoyed watching them both playing. It was so good to see how relaxed Dempsey could be if he had nothing else on his mind than playing football. Harry struggled to keep her eyes open to see what they were doing, but she felt so exhausted that it didn't take long before she was fast asleep. So she missed the fact that Michael scored 4 times and how hard it was for Dempsey to realise that he had to admit that he wasn't the youngest anymore because he had been out beaten by a 6 year old boy.


	75. Chapter 75

After they had left a crying Michael behind in the orphanage that Thursday afternoon and promised him to come back very soon, Harry and Dempsey were on their way back to the rehabilitation centre.

"I can't get it out of my mind what Michael wanted to tell us, but obvious had orders not to do so. But orders from whom? What happened in his past we don't know about?" Dempsey clenched his hands around the steering wheel: "This whole thing drives me crazy"

"I wished I could give you an answer. But I can't. You tried already to find something out about his past, but didn't succeed. I talked with that woman a little longer and she told me, that beside of you, nobody seemed to be interested in him"

"In other words, if I hadn't shot him he had indeed would have been on his own. That's an even more horrible thing to think about"

"Hey, there's nothing you can do about it. Relax"

Harry saw how tensed he was. A whole other person than she had seen only an hour ago when she had watched him playing football together with Michael.

"You have done what you could do so far"

How could she convince him? Harry thought. This should probably be something which would keep him awake during the whole upcoming night. She knew him.

"One day we'll find out what happened to him"

"Yeah, but I hope it's not too late by then" he answered cynical.

"Will you stop saying that! Who's the one who says over and over again to be optimistic?"

"Optimistic hey?"

"O P T I M I S T I C"

"I know how you spell it"

"Then act like it"

Sometimes Harry got the impression lately that she was the only one who was optimistic about a life together. That Dempsey pretended he was, but that he in fact had more and more doubts about their future.

10 minutes later Dempsey parked the car in front of the rehabilitation centre and turned around to look at Harry.

"No regrets that you had gone with me to see Michael? In spite of everything what happened this afternoon?"

"No" Harry answered from the bottom of her heart: "You have been right about him all the time. It's a sweet little boy. I'm sorry that we didn't take him with us to Winfield Hall this weekend"

"There will be other weekends I hope"

"Now you really had to stop this. The upcoming week, we take Sophia with us to visit him. Just the three of us. It will only be 12 days before I be finally home, do you realise that? Only 2 weekends to go"

"Are you looking forward to it?"

"Of course. You're not?"

"Yeah, but it wouldn't take long then before I'll become the new Superintendent. I still can't believe that the Commissioner gave me the green light for it "

"Believe it"

"But I have to work with him from time to time. I still have the impression that he only agreed with it, because of Spikings"

"Maybe"

"So you also have that impression?"

What should Harry say on that? That Chas had secretly told her that if she hadn't had this stroke and Dempsey hadn't return to London because of it, that she would have, probably, become the new Superintendent of SI10? No. She would never be able to tell him that. She could only hope that nobody else, except for Chas and Spikings, knew about it and if he or she did that they should keep their mouth shut.

"No I don't. Look, Spikings knows what he's doing. You are a good cop. Okay not always acting by the book, but since your first arrival in London, the results of SI10 rocketed through the air. Thanks to you, we placed ourselves on the map. A part of what you have done for the force is the reason that SI10 still exists these days!"

"Are you sure? Are you not saying that because..."

"No" Harry interrupted him: "I have never told you this but after you were forced to leave us, some of our colleagues, no I won't mention any names, also wanted to leave. Spikings convinced them to stay. For me in particular it was very hard as you can imagine because I missed you so much. At work but even more outside work. There have been many times when I considered the fact if it wouldn't indeed be better to resign after all. But I didn't. Because I hoped, prayed that you would come back some day so we would be able to work together again. Unfortunately, that will never happen anymore"

"But I told you: we can figure something out to make it happen" Dempsey said with despair in his voice.

"I know. But please just accept my decision that I resigned from the force. There is no other way"

"I still can't accept that fact Harry. I do my best, but so far I'm not able to it. I'm sorry"

After he had said that, Dempsey slipped out of the car. In the mirror she saw him opening the boot and putting her wheelchair on the ground. When should he ever realise that resigning from the force had been the only option left for her? Harry thought. When he became the new Superintendent or perhaps never?

When they both arrived in Harry's room, Dempsey sat down on Harry's bed.

"Will you please look at the two files this evening or at least tomorrow? I have to bring them back Saturday morning"

"I know. Don't worry. How late do you have to be at work tomorrow to do that jewel heist observation you told me about?"

"Around 10 am. I'll try to phone you later"

"Be careful"

"I won't shoot anyone, I promise you that"

"Don't make promises when you don't know if you are able to keep them" Harry advised, laying her hand in his.

"Do you think Michael was a little jealous at you first when he realised I wasn't alone this time?" It has been something that had crossed Dempsey's mind since Harry had mentioned it.

"I got the impression yes. You told him about me, but he had never seen me so maybe he even thought that it was all a joke. And now, all of a sudden, you finally showed up again and not alone as he obvious hoped for, but together with a woman sitting in a wheelchair. So he started to defend himself. It was the only way he could probably come up with now that he realised I really exist"

"He always acted if he understood everything when I told him about you"

Dempsey looked Harry straight in the eyes now.

"He pretended to understand it James. Do you remember what Jane told us about children who had to live with a parent who had had a stroke? That it would be easier for young ones to deal with it than with older ones? Michael is a clever boy, too wise for his age, but that doesn't mean he understood what you were talking about when you told him about me. He had no idea what to expect. You can't blame him for that"

"You have learnt so much in here about these things. It still amazes me"

"Well, too be honest, me too" Harry said squeezing his hand.

"I think it would be time for you to see if you can get something to eat" Dempsey looked at the clock on the other side of the room

"Are you coming with me?" Harry suggested, hoping that he would say yes for once.

"Sorry Princess, I think that wouldn't be a wise idea. Have to do some work at the office... reading files"

"Oh that's something to look forward to" Harry joked.

"Yeah. Well at least I'll know that you are doing the same tonight. I think I'll just pretend if you are sitting in front of me"

"That would be an excellent idea"

With a grin on his face, Dempsey stood up from the bed and kissed Harry on her cheek.

"Till tomorrow, sweet dreams"

"You too and James..." Harry said when he was halfway the door already: "Don't worry too much. I'm sure everything's gonna be fine"

As an answer Dempsey only lifted his hand up to wave at Harry before he disappeared. Harry rolled her wheelchair to the closet. She had no intention to go downstairs to eat something together with all the other patients. When Dempsey had joined her it would have been another story, but now she just wanted to skip diner. She had better things to do. There was a whole lot of work waiting on her.


	76. Chapter 76

Half that Friday morning passed by, but Harry had no time to look at the spare notes she had made yesterday evening. There was a nurse who had something to discuss with her, or one of her roommates had a visitor but she never had a moment on her own. Was it just a coincidence or what?

When Dempsey phoned her around 14:00 pm she still hadn't made any progress. It was so frustrated. They had to bring the files back to the office tomorrow morning before they returned to Dempsey's apartment. But if these interruptions continued for the rest of the day, she wouldn't have made any progress at all.

When Dempsey phoned her hours later again, Harry tried to be patient and not explode which wasn't easy especially not when the first thing what Dempsey said, was: "And? Did you find a connection?"

"No"

"No?" he wondered: "I thought..."

Harry interrupted him immediately.

"I don't know what you thought. That I'm wonder woman or something?"

"Ho, take it easy. It was just an innocent question"

"Spare me your innocent questions!"

Harry started to get real angry now.

"What's the matter?"

The concerned tone in Dempsey's voice made her calm down a little bit. It wasn't fair to react on him like that. He probably had a hard night behind him without much sleep followed by that observation this morning.

"I'm sorry. But it's not going how it should be"

"What do you mean?"

"I made some notes yesterday and wanted to continue this morning, but so far everyone seems to be against me. It looks like a sort of conspiracy, I don't know"

"Maybe I can cheer you up a little bit with some good news"

"That would be great"

"The observation went well this morning. We practically know who lies behind the jewel heist"

"Practically? So you don't know it for sure yet?"

"No, but that's just a question of time. We know that they are planning a real great heist very soon, all the preparations are ready for it. The only thing we have to do then is to bust them"

"So you keep your promise not to shoot someone today?" Harry observed.

"Yeah, I told you so"

Amazing, Harry thought. For once he had keep his promise not to shoot anybody! Hadn't it be necessary to use his gun or what? She was too afraid for the answer she would get to ask him about it.

"Now I have to write that damn rapport about it. I hoped Fry would do it, but he refused" he said with a sad voice.

"Poor you" Harry answered with a voice if she felt real sorry for him, but keep smiling at the same time when she thought on what she wanted to say now: "I think you have to get used to it. You'll have a lot of files to read in the future if you'll be the boss"

"But then I don't have to write them!"

Harry groaned. He had caught her with her own words! So she couldn't do anything else then other than to admit he was right.

"What a wonderful afternoon. Guys?" Dempsey added, with made Harry even groan more. She could imagine how it looked like at the office right now. Five men who were determined to hear how she should react on what Dempsey added with the words: "To have a partner who's totally agreeing with me. Right Harry?"

"Go to hell!" Harry answered without thinking.

A big outburst of laugh followed at the other side of the phone. She knew it. They had all listen to what she would say to him. How could he do that to her?

"Oh these are really no words for a Lady! Did you learn that on your private school?" Dempsey asked as innocent as possible.

"Dempsey! If you don't have something better to do than this, you can better hang up. There's a lot of work waiting on me!"

"He Princess. I'm only joking. You know that"

Harry took a deep breath. Of course she knew he was joking. But why could he still bring her off of her balance so easily? After all these years. In the meantime she must get used to it, but obvious she wasn't.

"Hey are you still there?" she heard him asking with concern in his voice. Maybe he had indeed pushed it a little too hard this time. His whole life depended on her right now so he needed had to be nicer to her. She really deserved that.

"I'm sorry"

When she still didn't say a word, he started to get real worried.

"Harry? I didn't mean it that way"

Dempsey realised how that must sound to the others at the office. He didn't want to think on the comments he would get later.

"Then why did you do it?" Harry finally answered with tears in her voice: "Do you only need me to solve your case? Is that everything I mean to you these days? A case?"

"No of course not. How can you say that?"

"I don't know what to think about it anymore" Harry said softly.

"Hey. Don't cry"

Dempsey heard her try to keep her emotions under control and also how she failed to do so. He felt miserable. The only thing he had tried to do was to cheer her up, but had turned out the opposed way. He had only upset her.

"Harry?"

"I think it's better that I hang up. I'll phone you later today. Hopefully I have some results to tell you then"

"Harry? Don't hang up. Harry!"

But all Dempsey heard was a dial tone. What had he done? By now he must used to it how sensitive she was these days. One wrong word of him and she thought that her whole world had fallen apart. How could he still do that to her? he wondered. If he hadn't learned anything at all from these last few weeks.

"That wasn't a real smart move you made there" Chas turned around in his chair just in time to see how Dempsey tried to pretend if nothing had happened.

"You don't have to tell me that"

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know. I think I'm still not used to the fact that Harry takes everything more serious what I said than she had done in the past. Then at least she could laugh when I made a joke about our difference in back rounds or say something, in my eyes, pure innocent thing"

"She had changed Dempsey during the years. And maybe even more these last few weeks"

"Yes I know. But I have changed too but she seemed not to realise that. I try to do my best, I honestly do, but..."

When Dempsey didn't continue, Chas repeated: "But what?"

If he had no idea what he was saying or to who, Dempsey softly continued: "But sometimes I wished I had the old Harry back. The Harry from before she got her stroke. The Harry with whom I could go out, share dinners with, without always have to think about if she's able to do something or not. Believe me I understand that it must be even harder for her, but it so hard to deal with"

"Have you ever discussed this with her? What she wants to do when she's back home? When she'll return to work?"

"She wouldn't come back to the office"

"What?" Chas mouth dropped open. This was the last thing he had ever expected. Of course he assumed that it would be difficult for her, but they all would find a solution one way or another if she thought the time would be right to come back.

"You can't be serious? When did she decided that?"

"A couple of weeks ago"

"And you are agree with that?"

"Not really. She decided to resign without letting me know first"

"I that the reason you are so disappointed in her? That she made that decision without asking you first?"

"Maybe"

The Atlantic wall was back if he had opened up himself too much to Chas already. Chas remembered what he had said to Harry: that Dempsey would go to pieces without her. The last couple of weeks he had seen the sad look that had appeared at Dempsey's face every time when he had spend some time behind his desk, writing or reading files. The secret glances, from which he thought that nobody had seen them, which he had thrown at the empty space in front of him if in his mind he imagined Harry be sitting there. And how he had assumed that one day that would happen again, but now, out of the blue, Dempsey had told him that Harry had no intention to come back to the office. Now he understood Dempsey's sometimes strange behaviour better. It was just a reaction on the fact that he had no clue how to deal with his sorrow. He missed Harry. Probably even more than he would admit when someone should have the courage to ask him about. Carefully Chas laid a hand on Dempsey's shoulder and squeezed it.

"We'll find a way to let her work here" Chas said.

"I don't think so Chas. She had made her decision and will stick on it, I'm afraid. I know her"

"We'll see"

Dempsey took a deep breath. Chas had seen through him, he realised. Well he was glad that at least someone understood how he felt. Now he only wished, Harry felt it as well.

Harry laid at her bed with some notes in her hand. Her handwriting was still so bad that she could hardly reread what she had written. But at least she had made some progress. Writing all the important facts from both the files down, but she still had no clue what the connection was. But that it laid somewhere right in front of her, she was assured of that. The last thing she wanted to do for that evening was to listen to the tape. Dempsey had forgotten to bring her a headphone so she turned the volume as low as possible. But it was still hear able. Luckily this time none of her room mates showed up. But there was something else that interrupted her. An annoying phone that keep on ringing till she finally pushed the stop button on the tape recorder and picked up the phone.

"Hi Princess"

Dempsey!

"Hi" Harry said carefully. She wanted to avoid another argument as they had had earlier, but she had no idea in which mood he was so a little hesitation would be on his place now.

"I pick you up tomorrow around 10. Then we drive to the office first if that's alright with you?"

"Sure. I'll be there"

The fact that he didn't mentioned the word "files" said enough to Harry. Probably the others were still in hearing distance.

"Alright. See you tomorrow then. I already phoned Angela, she had no problems with the fact that Sophia would stay another night. We don't have to pick her up, Angela insisted on bringing her by Sunday morning. I told her that it wouldn't be a problem to pick our daughter up myself, but she refused. Don't know why. Well, till tomorrow, sleep well"

"You too, till tomorrow"

Silently Harry put the receiver down. Angela had kept her promise, Harry thought. A little nervous Harry slipped into her pyjamas. Tomorrow at this time she should know if it would have been worth to ask Angela to buy something she needed so badly. Tomorrow was the moment of truth!


	77. Chapter 77

_Saturday evening around 11 o'clock_

"Harry are you awake? "

Dempsey put his right arm under his head to lean on it and tried to look at Harry who lay next to him in bed. But the bedroom was too dark to see anything. He didn't want to wake her up if she was indeed fast asleep, but on the other hand there was a question that had crossed his mind since he had heard Charles had raped her. A question he couldn't ignore any longer and on which he liked to have an answer.

Harry didn't react immediately. She had seen him wrestling with something during the day. He had been very quiet. She had asked him a few times what was wrong, but he had said that there was nothing. She didn't buy it, but wouldn't force him. Had the time now come that he wanted to open up to her? In the safety of their bedroom and he wouldn't have to face her?

Convinced that Harry hadn't heard him, Dempsey lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling. It came as a total surprise when he heard her saying: "No, I'm awake"

"Harry?"

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"What's the matter?" she asked when he didn't continue.

"There's something I don't understand"

"What?"

Harry had no idea what to expect and couldn't hide the shock and surprise when she heard him whisper: "Hope you are not mad at me now, but after Charles had raped you did you see a doctor then?"

Harry had to swallow hard. This was the last question she had expected.

"I realise that it must be very hard for you but... I really want to know"

Because Harry still didn't say a word, he softly continued: "During the time you were pregnant, they must have examined you. Didn't they see you had been raped?"

"James! I don't want to talk about it!" was all Harry finally could come up with.

"That's what you are continuing to say since I've know of it. Wouldn't it be time to talk about it? At least with me?" he suggested.

"No!" she said firmly pushing his hand away.

"Okay, I'm sorry I brought it up"

Harry bit her lip. She had tried so hard to forget everything what had happened during that rape and afterwards. Blaming herself that she had let it happen and now... all of a sudden all the memories were back as if it had happened only yesterday. During the whole week she wondered why he had never brought the subject up, never asked her about it. She had even thought that it wouldn't interest him what had happened to her, but obvious she had been so wrong. He just hadn't had the courage to mention it to her. Till now. He had all the rights to know but it was so painful. Didn't he realise that?

"You don't have to be sorry. It's only..."

Dempsey wrapped his arms around her to hold her tight against him.

"I understand, well at least I try to understand. I guess I'll never know exactly how it would be when someone forced you to do something like that" he whispered in her ear.

"What...what would you like to know?" Harry said with a small voice.

"What I asked you before. Have you seen a doctor to examine you after the rape?"

"I visited a doctor near Winfield Hall" she continued before he could say more: "A strange one who didn't know me as Lady Harriet because I used another name. I... I felt so uncomfortable when he asked me to undress myself"

Dempsey felt her hands on his arms and the firm squeeze of them when she softly continued.

"He asked me to lay down so he could exam me. But I couldn't do it. The whole rape itself came back to me at the moment I laid down there. It was if I realised for the first time then what Charles had done to me. I felt mentally sick. Luckily it was a very nice man who understood my difficulties. He talked to me and convinced me that I needed that examination especially because I was pregnant. I told him I was carrying a child. Couldn't hide it for him, he would have found out anyway"

Dempsey wanted to interrupt her to ask more questions, but just in time he remembered the last time when he had done that when Harry had told him about the birth of Sophia and Little James and how her reaction on that had been. He didn't want to make the same mistake again so he kept quiet and put a little kiss at the top of Harry's head. It must be so difficult for her to talk about these things. He even regretted that he asked her to go through this all.

"The doctor talked to me again and by doing that he distracted me so that I was more focused on something else so without even realising it, he did what he had to do. He wrote something down but don't know what. I didn't ask"

"And?"

"And what?"

"What was the result?"

"Result of what?"

"Harry? Don't tell me you have no idea about that?"

"About what?"

Dempsey took a deep breath. It wasn't only Harry who had great difficulties with talking about these kind of things. It wasn't exactly his favourite subject either.

"Did that doctor exam the sample he took from you? What was the result of it?"

"I don't know" he heard her saying.

"You don't know?"

"No. I have never visited that doctor again. What difference does it make if I know the answer or not? I never told the police about the rape. I know who did it and from what the doctor said to me back then, I had been lucky because there wasn't much damaged inside of me. Perhaps because I cooperated. That's the part I'm still wondering about. Why did I cooperate? Why did I let it happen James? Why?"

It was a question Dempsey couldn't answer, but he tried it anyway.

"Maybe because you didn't want to lose our baby. That child must have meant so much to you, even if you perhaps didn't realise it at that point, that you would have done everything to keep it"

"You think so?"

"I know so"

Both kept quiet. Harry cuddled up more in Dempsey's arms. She was glad she had told him everything. But why had he made such a point of the fact that he wanted to know what the result of that sample was?

"James?"

"Hmm"

"Are you not happy to hear that the rape didn't cost me much damage?"

"Of course I am"

"Then what is it?"

She could feel that there was more. Her instinct said so.

"Tell me. What crossed your mind?"

"Nothing"

"Don't play games with me. I have been honest with you, why are you not honest with me in this as well?"

When Dempsey turned his head away from her, fear started to rise inside her.

"What are you hiding for me?"

"I told you, nothing"

Harry slipped out of Dempsey's arms and swung her legs outside the bed.

"Where are you going?" he wondered.

"To the bathroom"

"To do what?"

"Do I need your permission to go to the bathroom now?" she asked with an irritated voice.

"If you are using it as an excuse to walk away from me, yes then you need my permission"

"Grow up Dempsey"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing"

"You see"

Harry wanted to stay up from the bed, but at the same time found herself pushed down backwards.

"Let go of me" she struggled to free her arm out of Dempsey's grip.

"No. Okay, you want to know why that sample is so important to me, correction, to us? When you walked out of Charles bedroom at Winfield Hall after being so mad at me, I discovered a photo between all the others he had secretly taken from you"

"So?"

"Will you let me finish this?"

Harry turned the light on the bedroom table on and turned around to look at Dempsey. She frowned her eyebrows when she some him picking up something out of the drawer at his side of the bed.

"Here this is what I found" he said when he handed her a photo.

"What's this?"

"I guess you recognize the man on that photo?"

"That's Charles, yes. So what?"

"Do you know the woman who's standing next to him?"

"No"

But before Dempsey could tell Harry who she was, he saw the expression on her face change.

"What is it?" he asked worried pushing himself up to a sitting position and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Sttt. Wait a minute. I think...I think I have seen that woman before"

"You saw her? Where, how?" Dempsey asked alarmed. He couldn't believe his ears. Here was something going wrong. He could feel it. He knew exactly who the woman was, but Harry?

Astound Harry could only look from the photo to Dempsey and then back at the photo.

"In the rehabilitation centre. Who is she?" Harry whispered with a small voice not knowing if she wanted to hear his answer.

"Lucia, the woman who got away with everything after I shot M.J."


	78. Chapter 78

"Are you sure?" Harry could only stair at the photo in her hand.

"Yes, unfortunately I am"

"But you? Where do you know her from? Harry?"

But Harry was still staring at the photo in her hand.

"I think...I think that's the nurse I met, the one who wanted to separate us" he finally heard her saying. "Why didn't you tell me about the photo before?" Harry started to accuse him now.

"I couldn't do it"

"Why not?"

"Because I had no idea how you would react on this. If I had known..."

That was true. For more than a week, Dempsey had hoped for a possibility to tell her about the photo, but never a time seemed to be right for it. The first couple of days they hadn't seen each other, on Harry's request and then later or a nurse had entered the room, or some of her roommates. They had never been alone for one single moment. It wasn't something he just wanted to tell her by passing her a cup of tea. Saying something like: 'oh yeah Harry by the way, I found a photo of Charles and Lucia so I guess they are involved with each other'. Bringing it up now had been difficult enough.

"And now? Now you know that I hadn't been in saint. I told you that I got the impression that someone was following me, but you won't believe me!" Harry said with a small voice.

"I'm sorry. Harry I really am. I thought...we both thought you were completely safe in the rehabilitation centre. You know that. It was the only place so far we could be together as a couple outside our homes. How should I know that Charles would send Lucia to go after you in there?" he tried to defend himself.

"Well he obvious did. Or McAllister did. I don't know anymore. What do we do now?"

"When I'm at the office I'll see if I can find more about a connection between the two of them"

"You could have done that during this whole last week. Why didn't you?"

"Because... Now that you told me about Lucia and the fact that you visited a doctor after the rape I can go further with that"

"Further?" Harry asked surprised having no idea what he was talking about here.

"Yeah. Don't you understand? If that doctor saved that sample of yours, and let's pray he did, we can prove that Charles raped you. To be honest Harry, I even wouldn't be surprised if that whole, let's call it an 'incident' in which I shot M.J. had been organised by Charles and McAllister together"

"You mean that he set you and Dave up?"

"Something like that yeah"

"That's ridiculous"

"Is it?" Dempsey took the photo out of Harry's hand and put it back in the drawer.

"But why would Charles do that?"

"I can imagine how it must have been for him when he found out that I returned to London. The first thing I did, after my return, was visiting you in the hospital. After all he had tried to do to separate us was this perhaps his biggest nightmare. And even worse: I started to work for SI10 again. He knew that sooner or later you should tell me what happened at Winfield Hall. He could count on that, so he had to do something. In my opinion, he called McAllister who set a fake drugs deal up. Hoping that Spikings would send me to be involved in the operation. That dispute between McAllister and Lucia was a fake too, I realise that now"

"Come on James, you can't be serious!"

"And what _if_ I'm right? They started that dispute on purpose. I'm 100% sure of that. It was the perfect cloak. There was only one thing they didn't reckon with. I didn't stay in the house as planned but stormed into the other house to mingle myself in the dispute"

"And what about Michael? What do you think is his part in all this then?"

Dempsey laced his fingers with Harry's. He avoided to look at her when he softly continued: "I'm a little scared about that. What if M.J. is involved with Charles? I don't want to think about it, but it would explain why he wouldn't tell me anything about his past. What if Charles tries it this way now? He failed to separate us more than 2 years ago and again last week. He knows my most sensitive spot by now: children"

Speechless Harry could only look at Dempsey if he had completely lost his mind.

"I will go with you in all your other speculations, but not in this one. You can't do this to Michael, James. I met the little guy. He adores you, that's not a fake! Believe me, that's real. You can never force a kid to act like that"

"You as a mother knows everything about it of course"

"Yeah and you as being a father must know that by now as well!" she added, squeezing his fingers firmly.

"Maybe you are right" he admitted not convinced.

"Not maybe. I am right"

A weak smile appeared at Dempsey's face "We have to be even more careful from now on, do you realise that? When my speculations and your earlier thoughts about the fact that your case and mine are connected are right, we have opened a real hornets' nest here. You don't have to stay involved. I won't blame you if you want to get out of it after all"

"Huh" Harry said: "No way. I stay with you"

But then all of a sudden another thing Dempsey had said earlier crossed her mind.

"You said something about proof. Do you want to visit that doctor I consulted to get the proof that Charles raped me? Do you still not believe me?"

"What did you say?" Dempsey had been miles away with his thoughts and hadn't listened to what she had just said to him.

"Proof of the rape" Harry repeated.

"Eh?"

"Dempsey! Can you please stay with me in this! It's difficult enough for me"

"Of course I stay with you in this Princess"

"How do I get the impression that you don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about?"

"Talk about what?" He looked at her really having not the faintest idea what she was talking about.

"Let's start all over again" Harry suggested, a little helpless.

"Start with what?"

"I don't believe this!"

"I think I'm a little lost in here"

"I can see that"

Harry nodded her head. Now she had to say it again. One time had been difficult already, a second time should be even worse.

"You want some proof that Charles really raped me?"

"Why should I want that for?" he wondered.

"That's what you said. You want that sample of mine as a proof"

"Oh that's what you mean? You understood me wrong in this. I don't need it as a proof he raped you. I know he did, but if my suspicions in this case are true we can perhaps use that sample in court as a proof he had planned everything a long time ago and that one case is connected with the other"

"So you want me to give that doctor a call and..." Only thinking about it made Harry feel sick again. She couldn't do it. She really wanted to, but it was impossible for her.

"Do you want me to do it?" Dempsey asked carefully seeing how nervously she reacted to her own words.

"Would you?" She begged: "Please?"

Her blue eyes started to fill with tears. One slowly slipped down her cheek. Dempsey lifted his hand up to wipe the tear away with his thumb. But that only produced more of them.

"Hey, don't cry. Everything's gonna be fine. I promise you that"

"I so desperately want to believe you. That all this comes to an end"

Dempsey didn't say a word, he only stroke her back to comfort her. When that didn't help he placed one of his hands in her hair and started to stroke her there. In the past that had always one of the best ways to distract her, but now even that didn't help. He cupped her face in his hand and slowly started to put tinny little kisses on her cheek. First Harry didn't react. She just let Dempsey kiss all the tears away, but with every kiss his mouth came closer to hers. She tried to be strong, not to give in at that wonderful feeling she felt deep down inside. But when one of his fingers caressed her mouth she could not longer resist her feelings and before she knew it, she had opened her mouth to him and Dempsey's finger slipped inside. She looked up at him and for a short moment of time they could only stare at each other. The two of them didn't know exactly what happened. A second later, Dempsey's mouth replaced his finger and he kissed her softly. Again Harry opened her mouth again and Dempsey's tongue met hers. It was if a fire that had been burning for so long inside between the two of them came to an explosion. They couldn't get enough of each other. And the kisses became more demanding as time went by. It was as if they realised how they really missed the other over the years. When Dempsey finally found the courage to break the kiss he had to fight to keep himself under control. He looked at Harry who lay next to him with her arms wrapped around him. Her mouth stood a little open and she looked so sexy that he took her waist to bring her body even closer to his.

"I want you so much" he whispered against her forehead.

Harry didn't answer him, but her reaction said enough. She replaced her mouth back on his and kissed him even more passionately now.

"Harry?" Dempsey whispered after some time: "I can't go on like this"

"What?"

Astound Harry searched his face for more information. What did he mean?

"I want you so badly, but one of us has to be reasonable here"

"Reasonable?"

"Yeah, if we continue like this, we'll end up with doing a lot more than just kissing"

"So?"

"We have to stop this. I'm sorry. I should have never start this in the first place"

After saying this, Dempsey pushed himself up to a sitting position and ran a hand through his hair.

"Who said we need to stop?"

Now it was Dempsey who was astounded. Not knowing what to say or to do he could only look down at Harry. He felt how Harry's hand carefully crept under his t-shirt and started to caress his back.

"Harry. No, don't to this! Don't try to seduce me if you didn't mean it"

"Who said I don't mean it?"

Dempsey turned around.

"You can't be serious" he tried. But looking in Harry's eyes he knew that she was dead serious.

"Don't you want me anymore?" he heard her saying with a small voice.

"Of course I want you, I already told you that"

"Why do you have to talk so much then?" Her hand crept higher and she pushed herself up to put a kiss on his back.

"Harry, listen to me"

Dempsey took her two hands in his.

"Do you remember what you told me as a secret a couple of weeks ago? That I must swear that I would never tell anyone? Did you forget that? You're not doing this to prove something to me, do you?"

"Prove what?"

"Look at me" when she didn't react, he repeated it: "Can you look me straight in the eyes and assure me that you want this as much as I do. Because I'm afraid I'm not able to restrain myself if we go further from now on"

"You don't have to restrain yourself anymore. What I told you then was not true. I was scared, scared for what could happen. So I came up with some lousy excuse, but I'm not scared anymore. I trust you completely in this!" Harry assured him, lying down again and in the meantime stretching her hand out to him. Still a little unsure he laid his hand in hers. Her eyes locked with his and she tried to lay in hers all the tenderness and faith she could come up with. When Dempsey bent his head and his mouth clung with Harry's he hoped that he could withdraw himself long enough so he would be able to give Harry what she deserved.


	79. Chapter 79

_Fr__om now on there will follow two hot and steamy chapters. Just to warn you. If you are not up to them, I advise you not to read them and to come back later when this story continues!_

They lay down for awhile side by side with arms wrapped around each others waist. Dempsey kissed Harry again. Harry lifted her arms up to bring them around his neck to bring his head closer to hers. One hand slipped to the back of his head. It didn't take long of their kisses became more passionate and ardent. Dempsey tried not to moan when his tongue slipped into Harry's mouth for a second time that day and he was able to explore the warmth inside of her mouth. For Harry it was if the time stood still. She had missed this so much the last 2 years. His tenderness, his possibility to give her what she needed the most. It was unbelievable. She felt one of Dempsey's hand creep under the sleeve of her pyjamas and caressing her back. She tried not to shiver and just enjoy it. And especially not to let him show what he did to her, but that wasn't necessary, he knew it. She was certain of that.

Dempsey had the feeling if he had just reached heaven when he realised how passionately Harry reacted. He had never expected that, not after what she had been going through and told him. He continued with putting kisses at her face and caress her and she didn't protest. He decided to go for it. With both his hands he pushed her pyjamas a little higher. To his surprise he didn't find a shimmy. As far as he remembered she had always wear one at night. But now all he could feel was her naked body. It seemed if his own body started to get on fire when his left hand reached her left breast. Slowly he laid his hand on it and he couldn't resist the opportunity to let his fingers play with the nipple. To his surprise the nipple became harder and harder when he intensived his action. Hoping she would let him do it, he rolled her over to lay on her back so he could look down at her. Then he noticed she had closed her eyes.

"Sweetheart" he whispered: "Do you mind if I take this off?"

Harry could only shake her head, it was impossible for her to say something.

When Dempsey put the sleeve of her pyjamas over Harry's head and throw it at the other side of the bed, he saw Harry following the gesture with her eyes. She avoided looking back at him as she had done before.

"You are still so beautiful, just as I remember you" he said clinching his hands around her waist, steadying himself with his elbows on the mattress.

Still Harry couldn't say a word, because she knew what the next step would be. And deep down inside she was so nervous for that step. Was she really ready for this yet? she thought. Or was she doing this only to pleasure Dempsey, because he almost begged her to go further? If that last one was the case, she knew she would disappoint him. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. So in silence she prayed that everything gonna be fine.

Unknown of Harry's thoughts, Dempsey stretched himself out and took one of the nipples of her breasts in his mouth. Harry had never expected that he should do that and with a shock she opened her eyes. Seeing the impression on her face of what his action did to her he couldn't avoid that a smile crept over his face which didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

"Don't look so satisfied" she tried, but failed when she felt his other hand around her other breast.

"Satisfied?" he answered innocently.

"You know exactly what I mean"

Harry shivered when she felt his hot tongue circling around the most sensitive spot of her breast. The sensation she felt deep down inside was unbelievable. He had turned her on in a way she thought she would never experience anymore, She heard him groan when he kissed her belly at the mark of her caesarean. It was obvious that she was still able to arouse him as much as he did to her. And that satisfied her, because till now she had only laid there in a passive way and let him do all the work. How should he react when she tried to be a little more active as well?

To Dempsey's great surprise, he suddenly felt Harry's hand again under his t-shirt. She was wrestling with it to get it out of his trousers with her right hand, but failed. She still missed the power in that hand. It was so frustrating sometimes that she wasn't able to do the things anymore at the way she had done before. Dempsey saw the despaired look at her face and sat up. He raised the shirt over his head and threw it away. Then he lay down again. Harry could only give him a big smile, it was so great that, at least this time, he understood her without words.

She kissed him, it was her way to say thank you, because she couldn't find another way to do it. He kissed her back, placing one of his hands at the back of her head. In the meantime his other hand slid lower over her stomach. For awhile he just caressed her there, before he went further down to the upper side of her pyjama trousers. Harry had no idea anymore what he was doing. She was more concentrated on his mouth and the wonderful feeling he created with kissing her so when his hand finally slipped into her trousers it almost came as a shock.

Seeing her eyes opening in be wilderness, he started to comfort her.

"Shttt" he said: "Just relax"

Relax? How could he say that? she wondered. She wanted to push his hand away, but Dempsey pressed his body even more against Harry's so that she couldn't move her hands anymore. Frustrated she tried to free them.

"Dempsey?" she begged him laying her hands against his chest.

"Try to enjoy it sweetheart"

Try? That was exactly the right word here, Harry thought. At one hand she didn't want anything else than to enjoy it, but at the other hand she was so frightened. She was convinced now that it wouldn't take long till his fingers would reach her most sensitive spot of her body. But till her surprise she only felt his fingertips at her underwear. Tracing patterns on it. In Harry's imagination it was if her underwear wasn't there anymore. If he was torturing her naked body. As time went by Harry became more and more relaxed. She had to admit that she indeed started to enjoy it. Dempsey also saw it. The tensed expression on her face disappeared and by seeing that he knew that it was time to move on. Carefully his hand moved lower to the place between Harry's legs, praying that she would spread her legs a little just far enough so he would be able to touch her more intimate there.

He saw her held her breath for a second if she had to make a decision to herself if she really wanted this or not, but when he pushed a little with his hand to get more access, she did what he hoped for. His thumb touched her and the sensation intensived. He could feel it through her underwear especially when two of his fingers slipped underneath it. It didn't take long before he could feel that Harry's body started to give in to him. And that she even harder tried to keep it under control. Amused he watched her bite her lip. He so badly wanted to take her underwear off so he could caress her there in a more proper way.

"Harry? I want to feel your naked body so badly against mine. Do you mind if I take these off as well?" he whispered softly, kissing her deeply.

"I...Dempsey I don't know"

"I won't do anything you don't want"

He saw her turning her head.

"I know" she finally said in which seemed to be a lifetime to him: "Just do it"

When Dempsey had asked Harry if she was ready to take all her clothes off now, he had planned to remove her pyjama trousers and underwear as slowly as possible. To make it a part of their love making. But when he heard Harry saying 'Just do it' he knew that he had to wait to another time for that. That this time she wanted it to be over as soon as possible. So he pushed himself up to sit next to her and hooked his fingers behind her trousers and stripped it down, taking her underwear down as well at the same time. With a big semicircular arch the clothes landed on top of his shirt and the other part of Harry's pyjamas. Harry had still buried her head in the pillow and avoided to look at him or down at her, now naked, body.

"Sweetheart?" he said, devastated.

If she even didn't want to look at him, how could they further carry on then?

"What?"

"What are you so afraid off?"

"Nothing. Just go on. Okay?"

Her answer surprised him. The active role she had played earlier seemed disappeared. He had no idea why. But it was obvious that she wanted him to take the lead again. Okay, he thought, if that was what she wanted, she could get it. Dempsey positioned himself between Harry's legs. Deep down inside he was as nervous as she was in this. Only he could hide it a little bit better than Harry. He so despaired wanted to do this right, because he knew when he failed now there wouldn't be a second chance for them anymore. That when this time turned out to be a disaster, Harry would be so frightened that she would never been able to make love again. Not to him, not to anybody.

"You do trust me, don't you?" he asked for a second time if he wanted a confirmation from her.

"Of course I trust you, you know that" not knowing why he had asked that.

But it didn't take long till she found out. Still sitting on his knees on the bed he shuffled a little closer.

"Don't worry"

"What do you have in mind?" Harry started to wriggle, he had never done this before when they had made love in the past. Had he learn something new and which he wanted to try with her now? But why? He hadn't had someone else after her. He had assured her that over and over again.

"Just this" she heard him saying when his hands crept up from her ankles to the hollow of her knees and before she realised it one of his hands had reached at the soft spot between her legs.

"James!" Harry cried out. She couldn't believe that he had done that. It brought all the bad memories back in her mind. Charles had done the same back then. How could Dempsey do this to her? But before she could react, she saw him bending to bring his head closer to her body.

"I..." Harry started but then she screamed when an incredible sensation hit her body. Her muscles in both her legs contracted when she felt Dempsey's tongue suddenly caressing her most intimated part of her body.

It felt so wonderful to feel him there. Especially when after awhile he replaced his tongue with one of his fingers. She spread her legs a little wider so he could caress her even more. His fingers now made a pattern at the inside of her leg and slowly crept higher. He knew that she was more than ready when she started to breathe heavily and clenched her hands in the bedcovers. Carefully the forefinger of his right hand entered her. He felt some resistance first. She was so tense. What Charles had done to her was still affecting her.

"I told you Harry. Relax"

"I can't"

"Yes you can. You are ready for it, I can feel it"

"How?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

When he had said that Harry felt a red blush creeping over her cheek.

"You mean...?"

A wide grin spread over Dempsey's face. He knew exactly how she felt now. Embarrassed because he could not only see it in her face how she reacted to him but feel it down there as well.

Without saying a word he pushed a little harder. This time he could feel how she started to relax. Harry all of a sudden knew what she had been so frightened of all the time. Since her stroke she had become so sensitive. Every time she touched herself down there it seemed as if the nerves of her right leg couldn't cope with such intimate contact anymore. The worst part was that she had no control over it. It just happened against her will. Her leg stiffened immediately and was hurting like hell afterwards. And to her extreme horror it happened now as well.

Dempsey saw the reaction of her leg and heard the painful groan coming out of her mouth.

"Harry? What's wrong?" he asked worried. He had seen her reaction, but had no explanation for it.

"I'm sorry" she said with a small voice.

"What happened?"

"I should have warned you"

"Was it something I did?"

"No, it's not your fault. It's mine"

"Tell me" he ordered, lying next to her again and holding her tight.

When she told him about her own experiences, he could only grin.

"It's not funny James"

"Well, to me it seems you don't have to be worried anymore"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Harry turned her head to look at him.

"Because my love" he put a kiss on her mouth: "From what I observed you are more than ready for making love to me. You don't need to have doubts about that anymore"


	80. Chapter 80

_Another hot an steamy chapter. Don't tell me I didn't warn you!_

Harry punched Dempsey against his shoulder.

"I told you over and over again, but you never believed me" he answered with an even bigger grin on his face as before.

When Harry didn't react on that he continued: "You have still doubts haven't you?"

"I don't know"

"Well, you can think it over. I need to pay the bathroom a visit, I'll be right back"

Harry saw him leaving. She lay down and closed her eyes. In her mind she recaptured all what had happened for the last 30 minutes. All Dempsey had done to pleasure her. How he had been focused on her all the time, on her demanding. How he had tried to let her overcome her awful experiences she had had with Charles. How patient he had been and how he had never asked for something in return from her. But she was sure that he should do that sooner or later. And what then? Could she really give him what he wanted from her?

5 minutes later she heard the bedroom door opened and closed again. She felt a warm breath brushing over her cheek.

"You didn't fall asleep, didn't you?" she heard him whispering in her ear.

"No, I'm awake"

"Where did I hear that before?"

A smile crept over Harry's face. That was where it all had started earlier that evening.

"Fine, because I don't let you just go with this"

You see, there it was. She knew it.

"James? I don't know if..."

Astounded she stopped in the middle of she was trying to say when she saw him standing next to the bed with his hand on the buckle of his belt. Shit, she had totally forgotten that he was still half dressed. That he had only taken his shirt off but that he was still wearing his trousers and underwear as contrast with her naked body.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she saw him pulling his belt from its buckle.

"How does it look like?" he answered without looking at her.

"James, no!"

But he didn't react. She observed how he undid the button and put the tag of the zip of his trousers down.

"Don't" Harry started to panic.

"Oh, you think that's fair? I want to feel your hands on my body as much as you want to feel mine on yours"

Harry couldn't deny that feeling his hands on her body was the most exited thing she had experienced in years, but when they were both naked, there wouldn't be a holding back anymore. It could only end in one thing: having sex with each other and she still had doubts if she really wanted that right now.

"James, please"

But Dempsey just continued with what he was doing. How many times in these past weeks had he laid next to her. Always wearing the trousers of his pyjamas just to comfort her. He had enough of that. She knew he always slept naked. He had done that all the time when they had been a couple in the past. She had to get use to the fact that he wanted to do that again from now on.

Harry didn't know where to look when she realised that Dempsey wouldn't give in this time. It became even worse when he took his trousers and underwear off and turned around to look at her. But she didn't look back. For the first time in more than 2 years he stood there totally naked next to her. She had no idea how to cope with that.

"Wouldn't it be better to look at me Harry? So you should know how much I want you?"

"I know that already. I don't have to look at you for that" she said playing with a strength of her hair out of pure nervousness.

Frustrated Dempsey groan. Why was she always so stubborn in these kind of things?

"Well hope you won't regret it later"

Regret it? She already regretted it that she had let him go so far in the meantime. What the hell could she regret more now?

When she felt him lay beside her again, she looked up at the ceiling. She wanted so desperately that he started to touch her again. That he would bring that wonderful feeling back. But if she should take the first step now, how would he react on that? Would he see it as an encouragement from her or what? Maybe they could better yell at each other. That was at least a thing they were both very good in. Damn it. Why was this all so difficult?

Dempsey in the meantime has his own thoughts. He was also staring at the ceiling. Now he laid next to Harry in a way he had looked forward to for so many weeks and in fact they still hadn't come any further. He remembered what he had thought earlier that he wanted this to make a successful experience for her, but as far as he could see it now it would end here. If he took the lead as he had done before, would she let him do that or what? They couldn't lay here forever. But how must he bring this subject up to her? Why wasn't she just mad at him in spite of being so nice to him? That was at least a thing he could handle. Damn it. Why was this all so difficult?

5 minutes passed by, minutes in which the silence between them continued. Then Dempsey stretched his hand out to Harry and pulled her to him. He wasn't sure if he did the right thing, she could feel it. To encourage him, she started to explore his chest and run her hands over his arms. He rolled her on her back and looked down at her.

"I..." he started but she laid a finger against his lips.

"Don't talk"

She could feel his arousal between them. She so desperately wanted to touch it, to feel it in her hands, to see if she could affect him as much as he had affect her earlier with his movements. But what would he think as she did that? She was so afraid that when she touched him that intimately she couldn't control herself anymore. She had always been able to keep her life under control, especially these last 2 years, it was the only thing that left from all that had happened to her. Giving this last part of her life away seemed if she had lost everything she had fought so hard for and that was unbearable for her. But Dempsey knew exactly what crossed her mind at that moment. He looked deeply into her eyes and kissed her softly on her cheek. Harry's reaction on it was to cup his chin in her hand and run her other hand through his hair.

"I know that I'm probably rushing you Harry, but I can't wait no more. I want so desperately to come closer to you. As close as possible. Do you know what I mean?"

Harry nodded her head. Yes she knew exactly what he meant.

Dempsey continued to kiss her. First by putting little kisses on her forehead than move his attention to her mouth and then kissed her neck. He heard how a little gasp escaped her mouth as she threw her head backwards at the pillow. In the meantime his hands were exploring her body if it was the first time in his whole life he could really feel her. The nails of Harry's fingers crisped over Dempsey's back. He knew that when he woke up tomorrow he could still feel the marks of them on his naked body.

This time Dempsey took Harry's breasts in both hands. He saw what that did to her when she opened her mouth and clinched her fingers around his arms.

"You like this Harry?" he asked with a voice he didn't recognised as his own anymore.

"Hmm" she mumbled not able to say something else.

He kissed her belly and posed his hands around her waist now caressing both sides of her body with his thumbs. When his right hand disappeared for a second time that day between her legs, he knew what to expect now. He tried to avoid touching her right leg as much as possible. For Harry it was if the world stood still when she finally was able to look down at her naked body and to feel what he did to her with only his mouth, his tongue and his hands. A little smile started to creep over Dempsey's face when he realised that she was looking down at him. A smile that grew bigger and bigger and when their eyes met, he saw that same smile appearing at Harry's face. It was if they had finally reached a level together where they could communicate without words and let their bodies speak for themselves. Without breaking eye contact, Dempsey started to torture Harry even more till she could hardly stand it anymore. Helpless Harry could only do one thing. She reached her hands out to his head and buried them into his hair before she took strings of it between his fingers. It hurt what she was doing, but he would either bite his tongue off than show it to her. So he carried on with what he was doing and took in another deep breath. It didn't take long if he felt her body react as it had never done before.

"Let it go Harry" he said.

"What are you doing to me?"

"Did you forget how wonderful we were together Princess? Not only at the office but outside it as well?"

Harry knew where he was referring to. Even now, at this moment, he couldn't resist of letting her know how he thought about her resignation. Would he ever accept it? she thought when at the same time she found herself moaning when an incredible heat shot through her whole body. Harry wished only one thing: that this would never end. Just when she thought that she couldn't bear it any longer, her body seemed to split in pieces. Dempsey saw her thrown her head in her neck when wave after wave hit her and made her body shiver followed by an extreme feeling of relief. Her hands released his hair and with eyes filled with desire he heard her whisper: "Was that it Dempsey?"

"Yes Sweetheart, that was it, I could feel it with you"

Harry couldn't believe it had happened. That she indeed had gone so far to let it happen. She needed some time to let the emotions she had just experienced to sink in. And while doing that, she realised that she had to face another dilemma when she saw Dempsey running a hand through his hair.

"Did I hurt you?" Harry asked a little sheepish.

"Nothing to worry about"

"I'm sorry"

Harry pushed herself up to a sitting position and leaned against the head of the bed.

"I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry" Harry repeated.

"Damn Harry, I said that it didn't mean anything!" Dempsey exasperated.

"Why are you suddenly so mad at me? What did I do wrong in your eyes?"

Dempsey crept to the edge of the bed to sit down running again a hand through his hair. How could he tell Harry that he wanted her so badly? Maybe even more than before?

"Sweetheart, I..." he stood up and started to pierce the room.

"James? Come here"

Silently he walked back to the bed, sat down and let Harry squeezed his shoulder.

"I think I know what's bothering you" she said hesitated.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah"

She grabbed him by his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. Not be prepared for her second move he almost tumbled of the bed when he felt her hand creeping lower over his stomach between his legs. He was sure she didn't see a thing of what she was doing but only the feeling of her holding him there was enough. Slowly she moved her hand up and down.

"Harry..." he groaned leaning with the back of his head against her cheek.

"Yes James" she answered as innocent as possible.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Harry's mind had stopped functioning. She was acting if she was sleepwalking. She had closed her eyes to concentrate even more on what she was doing. But she wasn't prepared for Dempsey's suddenly move when he turned around and pushed her down on the mattress.

"I aint letting you go Harry"

When he kissed her so passionate as he had never done before in his entire life tears welled up in Harry's eyes and rolled down over her cheek.

"Oh no don't cry Sweetheart"

"This are tears of joy James. This time you don't have to push me"

"Are you absolute sure?"

"Yes"' and to show him that she really meant it she reached between them and slipped down his body till she lay under him.

Amazed Dempsey couldn't get enough of her. Her enthusiasm took him by storm.

"Harry I need to know. Do you really want me to carry on? I mean: I can't hold back any longer and I don't want to make the same mistake as Charles made"

"You can't make a mistake in this James"

That was all he wanted to hear from her. He lifted her hips up to his body. She smiled at him when he slowly pushed her legs apart.

"Are you protected?" he asked to be certain.

"Protected? Protected against what?"

"Covered? Do you take something?"

"Dempsey! I'm finally ready to make love to you and the only thing you can come up with is if I take something. Can't you pick another time to talk about that?" she said meanwhile wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him and pressing her legs faster around him.

"Harry!" he exclaimed. Didn't she really know where he as talking about?

"Anti conception. Do you take something to prevent pregnancy? I mean, become pregnant seems not the most cleverest thing that can happen right now"

Shit. It was as if a bucket with ice cold water run over Harry's back. Since Dempsey flew to New York and didn't return, she had never needed any kind of that protection anymore.

"No" she answered with a small voice.

"No?"

"No" she repeated.

"Oh great"

"But we can do it anyway"

"Are you crazy?"

"We can use a condom"

"Oh sure, I'm walking around all day long with them in my pockets. Just in case I need them. What do you think Harry? We had never used them before so why do you think I have them standby now?" he exasperated angrily.

"Is this your way to tell me that you have no idea how to use a condom or that you don't have them?"

"Harry?" he said feeling real uncomfortable.

"Well there's a first time for everything" she rolled away from him and opened a drawer at her side of the bed taking a little package out of it. Without looking at him she turned it over to him.

"What's this?"

Suspicious he opened his hand.

"How does it look like?"

"Don't tell me. You have them lying there for God knows how long already?"

"Not for long. Since last Thursday. Angela bought me a packet"

"You asked her to... How could you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Ask her to buy them"

"James, what difference does it make who bought them?"

"Because, it's something between the two of us. I don't want that everybody knows it"

"You know what: sometimes you can be so old fashion"

It surprised her that she had said that to him. She had never been so open about these things in the past. How would he react? But he seemed not a little bit surprised, Harry realised when she heard him saying:

"Old fashion or not, I wished you had told me"

Then he stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked him and stretched her hand out to hold him back.

"To the bathroom"

"To do what?"

"Practicing!"

Harry's mouth dropped open when she saw him disappear with the packet in his hand. She really had no idea why he had made such a big issue about a simple thing as using condoms? Maybe she didn't know him after all these years in a way she thought she did.


	81. Chapter 81

_Sunday morning_

"And?"

It were the first words Angela said when she entered the apartment the next day with a sleeping Sophia on her arm and a bottle champagne which she handed to Harry.

"And what"

"How did it go?"

Harry kept quiet, a sign for Angela that not everything had been developed as she thought, no hoped, it would be. Harry opened the front door a little wider to let her pass by.

"I'll put Sophia in bed. Then we can talk. Meanwhile you can pure us two glasses champagne or would it be better to have a cup of tea?" Angela suggested seeing the sad look at Harry's face.

"I think so"

Angela shook her head and walked over to Sophia's bedroom where she laid the little girl in her bed. Silently she closed the door behind her. She heard Harry in the kitchen slamming doors. That was not a good sign.

"What happened?" Angela asked carefully sitting down at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean?"

"Harry? Did you do it or didn't you?"

"Do what?"

"You know exactly what I mean. Don't be such a prude"

"I'm not a prude!" Harry protested firmly.

"You can tell me. I thought it already very forthcoming that you phoned me and asked me to buy a package of condoms for you in the first place"

"That was only because I couldn't do it myself!" Harry answered with a despaired voice.

"Of course. So?"

"So what?"

"Did you use them?"

"Gel!"

"Sorry wrong question. It's none of my business"

"Exactly"

It was so hard to pretend that everything had gone fine. Harry had hoped that she and Dempsey at least should have had some time to talk about what had happened over breakfast this morning, but when she woke up, she had discovered that the bed next to her was empty. All she found, was a piece of paper on which he had written a small message for her. And to make things even worse: while she was reading them, she heard the front door closed. He just went out without saying anything at all to her! She remembered how she had jumped out of the bed and humbled to the front door as soon as possible. But by the time she had reached it, he was already disappearing into the elevator. Devastated she turned around and went back inside. Watching out of the window in the living room she had to overcome the terrible experience of seeing him drive away. With tears in her eyes she had returned to the bedroom to read the words for a second time. Words in which he declared that he got a message from the office that they needed him there, that he didn't want to wake her up and that he had no idea when he would be back. Especially these last words had made her start to worry. What if he had plans not to come back at all? What then? Tears dripped from her eyes in the still empty glasses in front of her which didn't keep unnoticed by Angela. Standing up she approached Harry from behind to lay an arm around her shoulders.

"Was it that bad?" she asked carefully.

"Gel! What have I done wrong?"

"Wrong?"

"Yes, I so desperately wanted it and I was convinced James wanted it too"

"Then what is the problem?" Angela had no idea what to think of it.

"I don't know"

"Excuse me, is it just me who don't follow it anymore? If it's okay with you, I'll start all over again. The bottom line is, did you finally have sex with James or not?"

Harry's cheek became red when she heard Angela so explicit asking if the two of them had done it or not.

"I...We" Harry stuttered. This was so embarrassing. Having a discussion about your sex life with your best friend!

"You know what: I make the tea and you go to the living room"

Angela gave Harry a push in the direction of the room.

"Are you sure?"

"Go!" was all Angela said. It was just an excuse for her to be alone for a couple of minutes so she would be able to think things over. She had bought that champagne because she had been so sure that there would have been something to celebrate today. But obvious her hopes had raised a little too high in this. When Angela entered the living room and put the two glasses with tea at the coffee table she saw Harry sitting at the sofa with her arms around her knees. Tears were rolling uncontrollably over her cheek now. Angela took a seat next to her and squeezed her knee.

"Tell me. It can't be that bad"

"It was...is. I don't know anymore"

"What did you do?" Angela tried.

"We were both ready for it. Really" Harry added when she saw Angela frown her eyebrows.

"Then all of a sudden when we wanted to do it, James asked me if I was covered"

"Which you wasn't, that's why you asked me to buy a package of condoms"

"Exactly"

"So you used one. End of the story. Hope you don't mind, but I don't need to hear the details of your lovemaking"

"No!"

"What no? Not the end of the story or..."

"James refused to use one"

"Oh no, don't tell me you did it without one! Harry? How could you be so stupid? I thought you had learnt from what happened back then. What if you are pregnant? How can you take such a risk now?"

"Gel? That's not the point here"

"Not the point? Then what is it?" Angela looked blankly at her best friend if she had lost her mind.

"I don't know if it would be wise to tell you this"

"Tell me what?"

"Well let I say it this way: when I handed James the package he started a whole discussion about condoms and at the end he just walked away with the package in his hand"

"You are kidding me?"

"No unfortunately not. That's why I asked you: what have I done wrong Gel? Please tell me, what?"

The sobs became heavier now.

"Why did he make such a big issue of it? Why?"

Angela just sat there, to astound to say something. She had never heard of someone who had problems with using a condom as protection to avoid a pregnancy. Why was that with James obvious the opposite way?

"I couldn't even ask him why"

Harry's voice cut through Angela's thoughts.

"What? Why not?"

"He just disappeared this morning for work. He only left me this" Harry bent over to the coffee table. For a while she could only glaze at the piece of paper in her hands. Her eyes were so filled with tears that she couldn't see Dempsey's handwriting properly anymore. One tear felt down on the words 'that he had no idea when he would be back' producing a spot on the paper. Was that a sign?

"He didn't mean anything with that" Angela assured Harry after reading the message and Harry told her about her deepest fear that he would never come back, but that he didn't have the courage to write or even to tell her that.

"Do you want to hear what I think?"

Angela put her arm around Harry's shoulder.

"What?"

"Did it never cross your mind that he's perhaps scared?"

"Scared? James scared? He's never scared of anything. Well of heights, but that's not the issue here"

"That's not what I mean" Angela continued: "No what I mean is this: you told me that he wanted to go to bed with you since, let me guess, the moment he returned to London. He knew that that wouldn't be possible at that moment because of your condition. So he started to have images in his head about you and him lying in bed and how it should be when you make love. As long as he could only dream or make insinuations about it, nothing could go wrong. But last night was another issue. Now his dreams became reality. At the moment supreme, let we call it that, it scared him to death. Knowing that everything depended on him. I know you said that he wanted it at as much as you, but I think he was so afraid to disappoint you that he used that whole condom thing as an excuse to get out of the situation he created. Have you any idea how lucky you are that you have a boyfriend who cares so much about you that he didn't just take what you offered him, but thinks on how you should feel about it first?"

Harry nodded her head. Yes she could imagine that. It was good that she had never told Angela what Charles had done to her. She thought back on what had happened when she had kissed Dempsey to thank him for the new rooms and bathroom back at Winfield Hall. That she thought then that he was scared. So maybe he still was in spite of all his bravura. But was that indeed the only reason that Dempsey had held himself back at the end? Even when he wanted so desperately to carry on? Didn't he trust her in this that much as she trusted him? Why didn't he just admit that he was scared? Was that perhaps also the answer that lay behind his question that he was afraid to make a mistake?

"Can I give you some advise?"

"Sure" Harry stood open for everything now.

"I think you can only be agree with me that the two of you don't have a reputation to be the world greatest communicators. If I only count how many years you two spoilt with not admitting that you were hopeless in love with each other. I can't remember anymore how many times I advised you to tell him how much you cared about him, but that you always assured me that it was only one sided and that you couldn't live with the fact that he didn't feel the same for you. Don't make that same mistake again Harry. I think that James is just as insecure as you are. He can only hide it a little better or think he needs to hide it for you. Talk to him. Make clear that he doesn't stand alone in this. You don't need to prove anything to him. I know, that was perhaps the fact in the beginning when you started to work together, but that's not the point anymore. You are equal. You know that"

"Except for one thing" Harry said without thinking.

"Meaning?"

"Since my resignation I have the feeling that every day I have to prove him that I made the right decision. It seemed if he didn't accept, correction, won't accept it"

"Did you try to talk to him about that?"

"Yes"

"And?"

"He walked away first"

Oh no, Angela thought. Not again.

"And later?"

"Well, he didn't really come back to it anymore, but I know he still doesn't like it"

"Then help him to accept it. For gods sake Harry. Nothing happened to your brain, luckily. Come up with something. Be there for him when he needs you just as he had been there for you all these weeks!"

We have been through this already Gel, Harry thought. I'm even helping him to solve a case in which he's involved, but even that didn't seem to be enough for him. What could she do more? They had been force to go through so much together already. But it was impossible to tell Angela that. If their suspicions were right and someone else should know about what they were doing, it could not only put his but her life in danger too. It was better that nobody knew about it, for both of their safety.


	82. Chapter 82

One hour later, Angela picked the two, now empty, glasses from the table and brought them back to the kitchen.

"I'm leaving if you don't mind. I promised Mike that I would be back half an hour ago"

"I understand"

Harry followed Angela to the door to let her out. Standing in the doorway, Angela turned around to give her friend one final piece of advice.

"When James is back from the office, talk to him. If you don't do that you'll drift more and more away from each other. I don't want you two to split up"

"Is that what you think would happen?" Harry asked biting her lip. She still had the feeling she could burst out in tears any minute.

"Yes. And deep down inside you know that too"

Angela put a kiss on Harry's cheek and closed the door behind her.

Harry leant against the closed door for a few minutes. Not able to move. Angela had just revealed her biggest fear. A fear that had been a part of her life since the day Dempsey had shown up at her bedside after all these years. He had said that he wouldn't leave her, not now not ever, but had he just say that to go to bed with her or what? Taking in a deep breath, Harry walked to Sophia's bedroom. The girl was fast asleep. Cleaning up a little bit first, Harry took the notes she had made from the two cases and spread them out over the table in the living room. Thursday evening she had read both of the files over and over again, making some notes but she still had no clue about the connection between them. But she was certain, there must be one. Somewhere laid the solution, why couldn't see just see it she wondered. She never had had that problem before.

"Yeah, but then you were 100% healthy" she tried to explain to herself: "Now it's a total different story"

Devastated she rearranged her notes for maybe already the 10th time. Writing them over, underlining special words and then all of a sudden it was if all the pieces of the puzzle felt in place. Of course: that was it. So simple, that she couldn't imagine that she hadn't seen it before. Totally happy she walked to the phone to dial the number of the office. She had to tell Dempsey the good news immediately. She was sure that he would be as happy as she was.

"Chas?" Harry said when she heard someone picked up the phone: "It's Harry. Can I speak to Dempsey?"

"Dempsey? He's not here. I thought he was with you. Isn't he?"

"He isn't at the office?" Harry sat down on the sofa because her legs were so shaking that she couldn't stand anymore.

"No. He has the weekend off as usual. We won't expect him back before tomorrow morning"

"Thanks" Harry whispered softly.

"Harry? Harry are you alright?" she heard Chas saying but Harry didn't answer him anymore. The words Dempsey had written sprung back in her head I don't know when I'll be back She knew that she had been right, he wouldn't come back. Tears streamed down her face. It was over. He had left her. Harry picked a cushion up from the sofa and threw it across the room. To her horror it hit the two photos in the bookcase. One of them tumbled down. She heard the glass of it breaking when it hit the floor. With even more shaking legs than before, Harry stumbled to the bookcase to pick the photo up. When she turned it around she realised it had been the photo of her and Dempsey together taken at the Ostrich's wedding.

"No!" she screamed in total despair, collapsing down on the floor with holding the photo against her chest.

Just at that moment she heard a key trying to unlock the front door. Harry sat stiffen on the floor, unable to move. Then she watched how the door opened and a man stepped inside the hall way.

"James? You are back" Harry screamed.

"Harry? What are you doing?"

In two steps he knelt next to her holding her arms in an iron grip.

"What happened? Harry, talk to me" he exasperated, shaking her at the same time.

But Harry could only cry.

"Sweetheart what's wrong? What are you doing here on the floor anyway? Did you slip away or what?" he looked down at the mess of the broken glass on the floor: "Say something"

"I thought...I thought you left me" Harry finally managed to say between two sobs.

"Left you? Why?"

"I tried to reach you at the office and Chas told me that you weren't there and then you left me that note and..." Harry spit out her deepest fear and was almost hyperventilating.

"Harry? Princess? Relax"

Dempsey felt her head falling against his chest. He desperate tried to comfort her by caressing her back with one hand and cupping her head in the other, her hands clinched around his arms.

"Why? Why do you had the feeling I would left you?" he repeated.

"I don't know. I was so scared"

"I told you, I would never do that"

These words only produced more tears.

"Why did you phone me anyway?" he asked after awhile when Harry's sobs became a little weaker.

"Because... I wanted to tell you the good news"

"Good news? What good news?"

"That I found the connection between our two cases"

Astound Dempsey looked down at the woman he was holding in his arms and searched in her eyes for some kind of confirmation.

"You are not kidding me, aren't you?"

"No. I really found it. At least I think so"

"Wow. That's wonderful"

Dempsey cupped her face in both of his hands and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I knew you could do it"

Slowly he bent his head over to kiss Harry on the lips. He tried to put all the tenderness and care he could come up with in that kiss. He didn't need to be worried, because Harry felt what he was trying to say.

"Where were you anyway?" Harry managed to say when Dempsey broke the kiss minutes later.

"I..." Harry saw him holding a hand through his hair before he sat next to her with his back against the bookcase.

"I needed some time to think"

"Why? When I said I needed some time to think you said..."

"This is different" he interrupted her almost immediately.

"Is it?"

"Yeah. Listen. Let me first clean this mess up and then you can tell me what you have discovered. By the way where is our daughter?"

"In her room, in bed"

"I'll take a look"

When Harry watched him walk away she wanted to yell after him: "What did you have to think about?" but she didn't when she heard him opening the bedroom door. If she should yell now, she would most certain wake Sophia up and with her having around, there wouldn't be time anymore to discuss the case, so Harry kept silence. With a little smile she looked at he photo in her hands. They both looked so happy when it was taken. They hadn't had a real relationship back then, but the feelings were certainly there. Only they had been both to afraid to admit it. In this Angela had been right. It had taken them so long to come together, that it would be ridiculous if their relationship would fall apart about something stupid as using a condom or not when they made love. They still had to talk about this subject, but Harry had not the faintest idea anymore how to bring the subject up to Dempsey.


	83. Chapter 83

Harry stretched her shoulders. When Dempsey wouldn't be back soon, she had to try to get up by herself. She had done it before, so she could do it again, but it would be much easier when he would help her.

"I'll be right with you" she heard him saying, seeing him disappear in the kitchen.

Okay, it wouldn't take long now. Harry made herself a little bit more comfortable on the floor. It was indeed a mess, she realised. She hadn't had the intention to hit the photos in the bookcase with that cushion. Her coordination was obvious still not what it used to be.

5 minutes past by in which she heard him in the kitchen opening some cup boards.

Then all of a sudden he stood in the doorway of the living room with the bottle champagne in his hand.

"What's this?" he asked surprised.

"I...we got that from Angela"

"What's the occasion? Don't tell me I forgot a birthday or something"

"Relax. No you didn't forget a birthday or something"

"Then where is it for?"

"Gel thought...hoped we had something to celebrate today"

"Yeah I understood that part already. But to celebrate what?"

"Dempsey!" Harry said with despair in her voice: "Just girls stuff"

"Just girls stuff. What do you mean with that?"

"You know"

"Know I don't know. Can you please be a little more specific?"

"Well that you and I, you know..."

Speechless Dempsey looked from the bottle in his hand at Harry and back at the bottle.

"You can't be serious! Is that a reason to celebrate for girls?"

"Not particular. But in our case..."

"So you told Angela that we didn't do it? Great"

"I didn't have to tell her that, she already knew it the minute she stepped in here!"

"What else did you tell her?"

"Nothing"

"Nothing? Come on Harry, I know you. You let her buy a package of condoms and you didn't tell her we didn't use them?"

"We didn't use them because you didn't want to use them remember? Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"When then? Tomorrow when I'm back in the rehabilitation centre were everyone can hear us? Next week or even perhaps never? You want me to take care of everything? That's not fair. This effects the both of us. Why don't you just admit you are scared?"

"I'm not scared!"

"Then what is it?"

"I told you already nothing"

"I don't believe you"

"Think what you want"

"You know something: I never thought that you would be such a coward"

"I'm not a coward!"

"Then what is it? Tell me"

First Harry thought that Dempsey would turn around, but then till her surprise he entered the room and placed the bottle on the table before he walked up to her.

"You are right. You deserve an explanation"

"Let's sit on the sofa, if you'll first help me up?" Harry stretched her hand out to Dempsey who laid his in hers. When they stood in front of each other, Harry lifted her hand up to his face and gently touched his cheek.

"Come on let's take a seat"

Harry let her hand slip in Dempsey's and pushed him down on the sofa next to her. He moved a little closer to her and laid his arms around her shoulders.

"I have been such an idiot" he started softly.

"When?"

"Back then"

"When is back then?"

"When I was 16/17 years old"

"But that's a life time ago!"

"I had a girlfriend. Her name was Sandy. I thought I never had a chance with her. She was so beautiful. But then one of her friends invited me to join a party. We drunk too much, you know how that went on this sort of parties"

To be honest, Harry had no idea. When she had reached that age, she had attended a private school and getting drunk was the last thing that was tolerated in there.

"Well anyway. We ended up in my bed. We didn't plan it. It just happened. It hadn't been the first time for me, but for her it was so..."

At this point of the story, Dempsey felt silence, avoided to look at Harry and seemed to be more interested in following a pattern on the carpet with his right foot.

"So you used a condom" Harry carefully said.

"Yeah, but we were both so clumsy. Halfway the condom broke. I had always had girlfriends who took care of everything. It was the first time that I..."

Only the way that Dempsey reacted on what he had just said, was enough for Harry to realise something.

"That's why you said yesterday that you need some practicing"

"Yeah"

"Have you never used one since?" Harry wondered.

"No because..."

"Because what?"

Dempsey wanted to remove his arm from her shoulders, but Harry refused to let him doing that. She laid her hand on his other arm to encourage him to tell her the rest of the story, because with a little fear deep down inside her, she suspected that there was more. That this wasn't the end but that there would follow more if she liked it or not.

"A months later Sandy told me she was pregnant. I was devastated, couldn't believe that this was happening to me. I asked her if she was sure the child was mine and she said yes. I had no idea what to do, couldn't tell anybody. But then the rumours started. That she had slept with other guys after me. When I confronted her with it she first denied it, but then admitted that she wasn't sure anymore if that child was mine. Later I found out that she had slept with all the guys who attended the party after me"

"And? Was it your child?" Harry asked with a small voice.

"I don't know. When Sandy was 6 months pregnant she killed herself. She couldn't handle the situation. She jumped from the Brooklyn Bridge"

"I don't know what to say"

"Now you know the reason why I'm so afraid to use a condom"

"I wished you had told me this yesterday"

"This was the thing I needed to think about this morning. First I didn't want you to know, but then I realised I needed to be honest with you. I'm sorry. I... I was so afraid to make the same mistake that I practically froze when you handed me that package yesterday"

"You know what? When you'll phone that doctor I consulted after Charles raped me for the result of that sample, I will make an appointment with him so he can give me something so I'll be covered the next time we try to make love. But there is a condition"

"Just say it, I'll do anything"

"That you go with me to that appointment"

"That's a deal"

"Will you now then finally hear what I found out about our cases before a little girl wakes up and asks our attention?"

"You know something? You are the most incredible woman I have met in my entire life. I love you so much"

Dempsey cupped Harry's face in his hands and kissed her softly on her lips.

"I love you too" Harry whispered back. This time without any reservation.


	84. Chapter 84

When Harry took a seat at the table, Dempsey sat next to her.

"Well, let me hear what you have discovered" he said.

"First not much. I thought already that I had it all wrong but then I realised something"

"What?"

"Back then I had had that illusion already, but I thought it has been just my imagination"

"What do you mean?" Dempsey asked when he saw Harry hesitate for a second.

"I got the impression that that man who shot me hadn't planned to hit my arm but that he pointed the gun on my belly. That it was only because I raised my arm to protect myself that he missed"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated.

"Yeah. I know it sounds ridiculous, but now that I recognised that other man as being McAllister, what if Charles hired him and another man to kill me back then?"

Speechless Dempsey looked at Harry, but she didn't look back.

"Why do you think that Charles wanted to kill you?"

"Because he thought what everybody thought: that I was pregnant with his child. When that child would be born and it looked like him, everybody should know what he had done to me. So he must need to get rid of me. I can't find another explanation for it"

Harry swallowed hard. It was so hard to imagine that in fact she had be in danger for more then 2 years already, without knowing it.

Not knowing exactly how to react, Dempsey wanted to take Harry in his arms, but he knew that wouldn't be a wise idea at this moment. In spite of that he picked up another piece of paper that laid on the table. Harry had put two things on it. One the size of the bullet that had hit her arm and the size of the other bullet that had hit the wall when M.J. had shot at him. Astound he could only glaze at the two facts. The size of the bullets were the same. There even wasn't any doubt that they were fired with the same gun.

"But how do you know this? In your file there's no mentioning of the size of the bullet"

"I know" he head her saying with a small voice: "I told you already that, on my request, Spikings left some things out of the file which had been put in the archive. Just to protect me"

"But you know it anyway? How?"

"Because I typed that part myself. James? There's another file about my case" Harry turned around to look at Dempsey, but this time it was him who refused to look back.

"Another? A complete file with every detail in it? Where? I haven't seen it"

"You couldn't have seen it, because it's locked up in Spikings office. In the second drawer from the top"

"I don't know what to say. If this is true, then M.J. is involved in spite if what you said yesterday and tried to convinced me from"

"No James, I don't want you to think that. This wouldn't mean M.J. is involved. We don't know yet what his relationship is with Charles or with McAllister, but in my opinion he just took the gun. And this is what just crossed my mind now we are discussing the details: What if they forced him to shoot at you if you would come in? That this is what he wanted to tell us last Thursday, but couldn't?" Harry said softly, laying a hand on his arm, knowing how he must feel right now.

"Then he's involved! One way or another. I should have been here all the time to protect you" he answered, turning around to look her straight in the eyes.

"Stop this. You don't have to feel guilty. None of us knew this before"

"But if I had been here I..."

Harry lifted her hand up to lay a finger against his lips: "Don't do this to yourself. I don't blame you. I can only blame myself that I haven't been honest with everybody"

For a short moment, Harry leaned with her forehead against Dempsey's. She could hear him breathe very heavily if he had great difficulties to understand what he had heard.

"It's even worse than I thought" he whispered.

"Yeah. But the question is: what do we do now? Our only lead so far is Lucia"

"Oh no" Dempsey started, lifting his hand up: "I don't want you to get involved with that woman. She mislead me once and once is enough"

"But it's our only chance!" Harry tried.

"No!"

"What do you suggest then?"

"I don't know yet"

"James? If she still hangs around in the rehabilitation centre tomorrow, and I'm sure she will, I can try to let her talk and..."

"Don't you hear what I said? I said no. N O!"

"Why not?"

Dempsey stood up from his chair and started to pace the room. Harry knew he was nervous, but with pacing around he made her even more nervous.

"James? Please come sit down" she begged him, pattering on the chair next to her.

But he wouldn't listen.

"I don't want you to be involved in this anymore! It's too dangerous. If I had known this from the beginning... I wished I had never had the intention to solve this case"

"Don't you think it's a little bit too late for that now?"

"I take you off this case"

"You can't order me what to do or not to do" Harry said with an angry voice.

"Oh yes I can"

"Is that your way to say "thanks" for all I have found out for you?"

Dempsey wanted to say something, but no sound came out. Without her help, he had never found the connection between the two cases and all the other things. He could only stare at her from the other side of the room. He also saw her struggling with her emotions. Rearranging the papers on the table if doing so gave her the distraction she needed so badly.

"But don't you understand? We are dealing here with, perhaps, the biggest criminals we came across with in years! Why are you so stubborn that you don't understand that?" he yelled at her with an angry voice.

"Don't you think I realised that myself in the meantime?" she yelled back: "What do you want to do? Go after them on your own? Without back up? That's pure suicide and you know it!"

"Then why do _you _want to go further with it?" Dempsey really didn't understand why she would take so much risk only to help him. Just ignoring the things she had said about going after them on his own.

"To find out, why Lucia showed up in the rehabilitation centre in the first place after all these weeks I have been there. I had never seen her before. Not inside the building, not outside. They knew that you were back and if they had the intention to separate us a second time, they could have try that many weeks before. But they didn't. She showed up shortly after we have discussed the case and you brought me the two files. Why? Isn't that curious? We have to inform Spikings about what we found out"

"Are you crazy?" Dempsey exasperated: "If we inform him, we'll never be able to catch them!"

Dempsey leaned with his back against the wall. It was hard to admit, that Harry was right. At the moment Lucia was the only person from whom she could get some information about Charles and maybe even McAllister. But why had they send Lucia now to the rehabilitation centre to contact Harry? Why not before? It was if they knew what the two of them were doing behind Spikings back.

"But I didn't know you were raped by Charles. Not before last weekend." Dempsey said.

"That's true. But they had to take some action trying to stop us with what we are doing. But there's one thing I don't understand: my father told you that at Winfield Hall! Not here in London"

"Well. It's more than obvious to me they found out. The question is only _how_ did they get to know it and..." when he didn't continue, Harry frowned her eyebrows. She could see that something had crossed his mind, something she hadn't thought about yet.

"What?" she asked. And when he still didn't say a word, she stood up from her chair to walk up to him. She grabbed his arms to steady herself and repeated: "What?"

Then she felt Dempsey's hands slipping around her waist to hold her.

"What?" Harry repeated for a third time: "What is it?"

"A terrible thought crossed my mind"

Harry saw him biting his lip.

"What thought?"

"Too horrible when it is indeed true"

"Tell me" Harry started to feel real worried now. Why didn't he just tell her what he had thought about?

Now Dempsey put one of his hand at the back of Harry's head and started to caressing her hair.

"Will you stop doing that! Just tell me what you thought" she demanded him, pushing his hand away from her head.

"Harry I don't know how to tell you this" He had cupped her face in his hands now.

Now Harry really felt fear growing inside her. What could be so bad that he had such a great difficulty to tell her? He even avoided looking at her, which made things even worse.

"Will you tell me now or do I have to wait for ever?"

"Harry I have the terrible feeling that Charles bugged your room in the rehabilitation centre and that he perhaps even placed some bugs at Winfield Hall" he finally managed to say: "That's the only reason I can come up with why they know so much about us"


	85. Chapter 85

"What? Bugged the places? You can't be serious?"

"Can you come up with something else?"

"I...I "she started.

"You see? Am I right or am I right?" Dempsey said looking Harry in the eyes.

"Alright you are right" Harry finally admitted with great hesitation.

"It only means, we have to be extra careful from now on with what we are saying"

"Yeah. Will you hold me for a second?"

Dempsey wrapped his arms around Harry and hold her tight against his own body: "Don't worry? Everything's gonna be fine" but he felt her shivering in his arms.

Hadn't she said that to him as well only a couple of days ago? At the moment nothing seemed to gonna be fine. They just stood there for awhile. Both deep in their own thoughts. Then a little crying voice got their attention.

"I think Sophia is awake" Harry whispered. She didn't want to leave the safety of Dempsey's arms and Dempsey didn't want to let her go either, but they both knew that they had to.

"If you clean up the table with all the notes, I take care of our daughter"

Dempsey put a kiss on Harry's forehead and walked away. With great concern Harry watched him leave. Both of them had never expected that this case would probably the worst case they had to deal with since the day Dempsey had arrived in London for the first time and Spikings had teamed them up to work together. But they had to finish it now, if they both liked it or not.

5 hours went by. 5 hours in which they didn't had a chance anymore to discuss the case with each other. Since the moment Sophia had been awake, she got the full attention of her parents. It had distracted them also a bit from everything they had to deal with.

Around 6 Dempsey had ordered some Chinese. Sitting on the sofa with Sophia between them, they had had a wonderful time. Dempsey had constantly tried to make jokes. Unfortunately Sophia had been the only one who laughed. Harry couldn't come up with nothing more than a little grin. She had too much on her mind to think about right now. After diner, Dempsey had switched the TV on and put Sophia in front of it.

"Be a good little Angel. Mummy and Daddy have to wash the dishes. Then we'll bring you back to Angela and Mike and I'll bring Mummy back to the rehabilitation centre" Dempsey knelt down in front of his little girl when he saw tears started to brim in Sophia's eyes when he had said that.

"When will I be finally home?" she said softly.

"Just one week, I promise you that. One week and we'll be together. You, me and Mummy"

Then he grabbed Harry by the hand and pushed her into the kitchen, closing the door behind them.

"Are you alright?" he asked worried: "You have been so quiet during dinner. I tried everything to cheer you up, but I guess I didn't succeed, didn't I?"

"Not really. I'm sorry"

"You don't have to be sorry. I feel the same"

"I know"

They hugged each other trying to hide the fear they both felled deep down inside.

"Come on. We have to go" Dempsey said after awhile when he put the last clean glass away.

"I would be so glad when I would be finally home. That we don't have to bring Sophia to Angela and Mike anymore every single day and we could be together without interruptions"

"Me too, but we have to bite the bullet for one week. We have been able to manage all the other weeks so this one must be a piece of a cake"

"Why do I have the feeling then that this would be the longest week of my life?"

"You know that's always the fact when you look forward to something nice that's going to happen"

"I guess you are right"

Dempsey gave Harry an extra hug, before he turned around and left the kitchen.

Half an hour later the three of them were sitting in Dempsey's car. Sophia had felt asleep on the back seat and Dempsey had to carry her inside Angela's and Mike's house. He felt immediately that Angela had great difficulties to act normal to him, pretending that she didn't know what happened yesterday evening between him and Harry.

"I know, that you know.. well you know" Dempsey said hoping that he would make it a little easier for her when he started the conversation.

"I really thought..."

"Let's say it this way... it wasn't probably not the right time or the right place, I don't know"

"Did you talk?"

"Talk?"

"Yeah, talk it out?"

"We did'

"I'm glad about that" was all Angela answered, walking away with Sophia on her arm to put her in bed.

With a puzzled look on his face, Mike had followed the conversation. He had no idea what was going on here. Angela had refused to talk yesterday about what had happened when she came home.

"What was that all about?" Mike wondered.

"Girls stuff"

"Girls stuff?" Mike repeated even more wondered now.

"Yeah, you know like we have Boys stuff"

Mike could only look at Dempsey if he had lost his mind during the weekend.

"Sorry, I just want to say goodnight to Sophia and then I go"

When Dempsey entered the bedroom, Angela just finished with getting Sophia in her pyjamas.

"I..." He had no idea how to bring the subject up to Angela.

"You don't have to explain it to me" Angela said looking at Dempsey who just stood there in the doorway: "I only hope that you two will find the right time and the right place very soon"

"Me too" Dempsey admitted with all his heart.

"I leave you two alone now. Goodnight Sophia"

After Angela had put Sophia in bed, the little girl was fully awake now. Not a very good sign. She looked up at Dempsey.

"Bedtime story?" she asked with the hope he would give in.

"Okay. One little story. If you promise me to go back to dreamland then?"

"Dreamland?"

"Yeah"

"What's dreamland?"

"Close your eyes and go back to sleep"

"Will you be here then when I wake up?"

Dempsey took a chair to sit next to Sophia's bed.

"No I can't you know that"

"But I want you to be here"

"Me too Sweetie. But I've told you already that you have to wait one week for that to be happen"

"You promise me that you would be there then every morning?"

Dempsey bite his lip. He knew he couldn't make that promise to Sophia. Before he would become the new Superintendent of SI10, a lot of work needed to be done so if he wouldn't be at home every morning when his little girl woke up, he couldn't make any guarantee about that.

"I try to" was all he could come up.

"Try a little harder" Sophia begged him.

"I will Sweetie. And you know what: If I don't be there in the morning I'll make it up to you as soon as I will be home. Can you live with that?"

"I guess so"

"Okay. What story do you want me to read?"

"Thomas"

Of course, Dempsey thought, Thomas. Dempsey wrapped his arm around Sophia's shoulders. She leant her head against his chest. Dempsey started to read the story with full enthusiasm but he wasn't even halfway when he held a sleepy Sophia in his arms. Carefully he tucked his daughter in, put a kiss on her cheek, whispered goodnight in her ear before he left the bedroom.

"I'm going" he said to Angela and Mike who were sitting next to each other on the sofa in the living room.

"Till Friday" Angela answered.

"Till Friday" Dempsey repeated turning around with the intention to leave the room. Standing in the doorway he added: "Oh by the way: I told her a bedtime story, but I guess I was so boring. Halfway the story she felt asleep"

A smile crept over Angela's face. Who had ever could imagine that the tough, hardworking and sometimes brass cop she got to know, turned out to be such a sensitive, warm and emotional guy when it involved Sophia or even Harry these days? She thought back on their first meeting after he had returned to London a few weeks ago and how she had so badly wanted to see them both become happy. Well, finally they seemed to be on the right way. Now if they only could find the right time and place to continue their happiness everything should be perfect.


	86. Chapter 86

Slowly Harry opened her eyes when a constant annoying sound cut to her happily dream. It was still dark outside and when she looked down at her watch she saw that it was only half past 7 in the morning. Who could ring her on this impossible hour of the day? Still half asleep she picked the receiver up and said her name.

"Harry?" a voice said at the other side.

"James? Have you any idea what time it is? You're not permitted to phone me before 8, you know that"

"Harry, listen. How long would it take before you have packed?"

"Packed? I think you hurt your head or something. It'll take another week before I can leave here"

"Sweetheart, listen to me. I don't have time to discuss this with you. Nurse Felicia will help you to pack your belongings. I meet you at the entrance in 45 minutes"

Now Harry was full awake and pushed herself up to a sitting position.

"Are you out of your mind? I'm not going anywhere. Not before you tell me what's going on"

"Harry, I can't tell you. Just do what Felicia tells you to do and don't speak with her"

"You are not going to tell me what I have to do Dempsey" Harry answered frustrated. This was the weird phone call she had had from him in her life.

"Do you want me to make it an order?" she heard him saying.

"Don't order me! I'm perfectly able to make my own decisions. I'm not going anywhere. Do you hear what I said?"

"I'll be with you in, let's see, 40 minutes in the meantime"

Before Harry could react, she heard him putting the receiver down. What the hell was going on here? No way, that she was doing what he had ordered her to do. If he even had the courage to tell her what was wrong in person, he could go to hell.

But 5 minutes later her earlier thoughts about not following orders from him, changed completely when Felicia's head showed up through the closed curtains. She had two pens and a note-pad in her hand. One pen she handed over to Harry who accepted it with a puzzled look on her face. Remembering what Dempsey had said to her earlier, not to speak to Felicia, she crabbed the note-pad out of the nurse hand to write something down.

_ What's the meaning of this?_

_ I don't know either. Mr. Dempsey phoned us to say that one of us had to help you with packing. He said it was urgent. And that he'll wait downstairs to pick you up and the most important thing: that we don't talk with each other but that we do it this way if we want to communicate. He sounded if he was in a big rush_

_ So it's true. It's not some kind of joke?_

_ No_ Felicia wrote back: _ You have to leave us as soon as possible_

Reading these last words, Harry realised that Dempsey had be dead serious when he had ordered her to go packing. Why? What had happened between yesterday evening and now that had him made this decision?

Still not really convinced, Harry stepped out of her bed.

_ In the time you get dressed, I'll pack your bags. You can do__ your bedside drawer yourself? _

Felicia wrote the words down as fast as she could. Harry nodded her head and wanted to walk to the bathroom to take a shower, but Felicia shook her head. There was no time to take a shower, she had to skip that for once.

In the distance she heard Felicia opening her closet and taking her bags out of it. The following moment Harry watched her while she was putting her clothes into them. It was unbelievable that this was happening to her, Harry thought, when she tried to put her, unwilling, right leg in her trousers. In silent she was crucifying Dempsey for this ridiculous move of him. She would kill him later for this, he could count on that. When she finally got her t-shirt on and ended wrestling with her tennis shoes, she saw Felicia's head appearing again between the curtains pushing the note-pad in her hand.

_ I'm ready. Do you have something laying in your __safe-deposit? You can put that in your bag yourself. Here's a plastic bag for your things of your bedside drawer. I'm afraid there's no place in your bags anymore for them. Ring me if you are done _

Then she pointed at the bell hanging at Harry's bedside. "I will" Harry mouthed silently half and half convinced that she was still sleeping and that, when she woke up, it all had been just a bad dream. She punched herself, but that hurt so much that she realised, this wasn't a dream. This was really happening. It was hard to find her way through the darkness to find the closet to open the safe-deposit. She tried 3 times to put the key in it, before she finally succeeded. She grabbed the notes she had saved in there out of it and put them under in her bag before she zipped it. Then she looked around in the room, removed her belongings out of the bathroom and looked around in the room if she indeed had packed everything. She should have missed this room. She had spend so many happy but also difficult times in here. Her head switched to the man laying in the other bed. "It seems that I'll leave even before you after all" she said in silence to him: "I'm sorry that I won't be able to say goodbye to you. And that we won't be in touch anymore in the future as we promised. But leaving my phone number behind now, I don't think that will be the smartest thing to do at this moment"

Taking in a deep breath, Harry sat down on her bed and pushed the bell at her bedside down. 2 minutes later Felicia stood in the room again.

_ We'll take your wheelchair. Then we can take everything with us at once _

And so Harry silently left her room in the rehabilitation centre as a thief in the night. She felt guilty against John and her other roommate Karen, but there was no other option. In silence Harry and Felicia walked to the elevators. 35 minutes had passed in the meantime since Dempsey had made that phone call. When they went inside the elevators, Felicia put the note-pad away and said: "I hope you have enjoyed your stay here after all a little bit even if it hadn't been easy all the time"

Wondered Harry looked at her: "Can we talk normally now?"

"Yes, your boyfriend only ordered me not to speak in your room. Well, I must say: your boyfriend is a real charmer"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. What had Dempsey done now?

"Well as you can imagine that it's against our policy to let patients vanish at this our of the day. Especially when you still have a whole week to go in which you need to follow therapies and so on. Maybe I'll be in big trouble because of this, but I have never heard a man saying such nice things to me"

Oh boy, Harry thought: He had done it again. She could almost hear the words he had whispered in the woman's ear through the phone. Sweet talk as always. A pity, that she knew him too well so he couldn't influence her with it anymore.

"Yeah" Harry answered: "He can be very nice"

Downstairs the corridor laid in the same darkness as the corridor upstairs. It was almost impossible to see where to walk. When the receptionist saw them coming, he switched the lamp above his desk on.

"What the hell is this?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Emergency" was all Felicia answered for which Harry was grateful, because she had no idea what to say at the moment.

The receptionist opened the door for the two of them. Felicia was pushing Harry's wheelchair and Harry tried to keep up with her which wasn't so easy.

At the moment the two of them left the building a big black car drove by, stopped and a man got out.

"Hi Harry"

"James? Can you tell me what's the whole meaning of this? Are you become crazy or what?" Harry started: "And where's your car?"

"This is Chas car" Dempsey explained walking to the boot of the car. Felicia had followed him with Harry's wheelchair.

"I know this is Chas car. I asked you where's yours?"

No answer. Harry saw him putting her bags in the boot of the car and closed it.

"Can you tell me now what the meaning of this all is?"

"I told you, I can't tell you right now"

"When? I'm not going with you, not before you explain everything to me"

Felicia switched her head between Dempsey, standing at one side of the car, and Harry at the other side. Was this the same man who had said all these nice things to her? It was hard to believe.

"I leave you two alone" Felicia said, not knowing what else to do. She didn't want anything to do with the discussion the two of them had.

"Thanks for your help" Harry said not looking at Felicia. She had only eyes for Dempsey.

"I'll explain everything to you later. I promise you"

"Oh no" Harry grabbed the car handle to steady herself. The last hour she hadn't done anything else than hurry herself and she was exhausted and not in a very good mood anymore either: "I have enough of your promises!"

"Damn. Get in the car"

"No way"

"GET IN THE CAR!" Dempsey repeated now yelling at her: "We don't have time to discuss this"

"You don't have to yell at me"

"Then do what I said. Do it. Now!"

Astound Harry saw him opening the car door and slip inside. Then he started the engine. But Harry still didn't move.

"Don't be always so stubborn!" she heard him saying, stepping out again and walking up to her.

"Will you step inside now or what?" he asked her, standing next to her and looking at her with a glance in his eyes she had never seen lying in them before. She also noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how exhausted he looked. If he hadn't had any sleep at all that night.

"I want an explanation! Is that too much to ask? This all looks more like a kidnap to me"

"If we'll stay here much longer, you'll get much more than a kidnap Lady. And now: DO WHAT I TELL YOU!"

Harry could only stare at Dempsey in total disbelief. She had never seen him in this state before. He had never been violent against her, but now he grabbed her arm and pushed her inside the car. When she sat down at the passengers seat she heard two voices coming from the back seat of the car. One voice said: "Hi Mummy" while the other simultaneous whispered: "Hi Harry"

Totally in shock Harry turned her head to look straight in the eyes of Sophia and Michael who were sitting next to each other.

"What are you two doing here?"

"James picked us up" Michael announced with a small voice.

"I can see that. But why? Now I know it for sure: you really lost your mind" Harry said angrily when Dempsey bent over her to fasten her seat bell before he closed the car door behind him.

"You took them with you at this goddamn hour? What is the meaning of this?"

"Will you do me a favour and stop asking questions? I'll explain everything to you later. Look, I already have a hard night behind me. If you don't want me to lose my temper completely can you please do me a favour and be quiet for awhile. Can you do that?" Dempsey said when he slipped into the drivers seat.

Harry saw him looking into his back mirror before he started the engine. During the beginning of the drive Harry didn't say a word. Dempsey had clinched his hands around the steering wheel which didn't keep unnoticed to Harry. Something strange was going on. But what? Dempsey acted if he expected that someone followed them with looking in all his mirrors every 2 minutes. It made Harry shiver. What had he said earlier? That he had a hard night lying behind him. What happened? Had it something to do with what they had both discovered yesterday? Was that it? Harry had no idea and the longer the drive continued, the less Harry could keep her eyes open. The two kids at the back seat of the car had lost the battle with staying awake a long time ago and now it was Harry's turn to fall asleep. She didn't noticed anymore that Dempsey secretly glanced at her with worried eyes. He was glad she finally had fallen asleep. It made it much easier to concentrate himself on his driving. That was hard enough already without that he needed to answer questions or keep a conversation going.


	87. Chapter 87

25 minutes later Dempsey parked the car in front of a big house and stepped out of the car. Harry, as well as the two kids at the back seat of the car, were still fast asleep.

"Everything quiet so far?" Dempsey said to one of the two men who walked up to him as soon as he had arrived.

"Yeah. The boss is inside"

"Thanks Chas"

"I'll park the car in the garage. Let me know when Harry or Sophia or Michael wake up"

"No problem"

Dempsey turned the engine on again and drove slowly into the big garage at the back side of the house. Harry leant with her head against the window of the car. For a short moment of time, Dempsey hesitated if it wouldn't be better to wake her up, but then he resisted the temptation and only stretched his hand out to wipe a string of hair of her forehead.

"If you know what had happened, you wouldn't sleep so deeply" he whispered softly.

Harry made a little noise in her sleep but didn't wake up. The two kids at the back seat of the car also didn't react when Dempsey left the car closing the door as silent as possible behind him.

Inside the house, it seemed a complete chaos. Two men were busy in two bedrooms and two others were occupied with hanging some curtains before the windows. In the middle of this chaos sat a man on the couch with a glass in front of him.

"And? How did it go?" The man asked as soon as Dempsey had entered the room.

"As far as I could see, nobody followed us"

"Good. And Harry?'

"She doesn't know anything yet. She started to ask questions, but I didn't want to answer them with Sophia and Michael in hearing distance"

"She won't like that"

"She became mad at me. Well, I don't think I acted very nice to her either"

"Where are the notes?"

"I don't know. I assumed in one of here bags"

"Then go on. Get them"

Dempsey turned around and yawned. Suddenly he felt even more exhausted than he already was before. Now that he knew that the four of them had reached the safe house without problems, it was if a big stone had fallen from his chest. Last night he had realised that Harry had been so right yesterday about the fact that they had to inform Spikings about what they had figured out about Charles, Lucia and even McAllister. It was indeed if he had been out all the time on a suicide mission on his own in which he had put all the people he loved so much in danger.

"Do I keep you awake Dempsey?" he heard Spikings saying behind him.

"No, I was just thinking"

"I wished you had thought about all this a little earlier Dempsey. It would have saved us a lot of money if you know what I mean"

Dempsey groaned in silence. He knew already what would follow when Harry woke up and at the moment he wouldn't think on that.

When Dempsey entered the garage for a second time in 10 minutes time he saw Harry sitting on the passenger seat of the car. She had opened the door of the car at her side and swung her legs outside.

"I was just thinking where you could be" she said: "Where are we?"

"In a safe house" Dempsey said knowing how this must sound in her ears.

"A safe house? Why? What are we doing here?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh no. You can't do this again. I want some answers"

"You'll get your answers, but will you please tell me in which bag you put that notes you made?"

That goddamn case! Harry knew it. He was only interested in that bloody case of him. She had been so right yesterday.

"I don't know" Harry said: "Look for yourself if you need them so badly"

"Harry? Don't play games with me"

He walked up to her and stood still in front of her. Harry looked up at him. For a short moment of time their eyes met, before Dempsey knelt down and wrapped his arms around her to hold her tight against his own body. She heard him whisper in her right ears: "I'm so glad nothing happened to you. I would have never forgiven myself if I had lost you because of me"

"James?" Harry whispered back: "What do you mean?"

"Not here. Let's go inside"

Just on that same moment a small voice from the back seat of the car said: "Daddy?"

"He Sweetie"

Dempsey backed away from Harry and opened the back seat door of the car: "Did you sleep well?"

"Is the week over already?"

"What?"

"You told me I have to wait a week before we... I don't know anymore"

"No, the week is not over. You are right. But the plan has changed a little bit"

When Dempsey bent over to his daughter to lift her out of the car, Michael also woke up. A little hesitated he looked at Harry.

"I had to leave my ball behind, I'm sorry"

"That doesn't matter. James and I will buy you another ball. Don't worry" Harry gave Michael's arm a little squeeze.

"With the same words written on it?"

"With the same words written on it" Harry assured him with brought a big smile on the little guy' s face.

"Where are we?"

"I have no idea either" Harry admitted standing up from the passengers seat.

"Do you need any help?" Michael stood next to the car and stretched his hand out to Harry.

"If you can find my stick somewhere in the boot of the car, that would be nice. I'm afraid James has more eyes for his daughter at the moment"

"She is sweet" Michael answered with a soft voice walking to the boot of the car at the same time which brought a smile at Harry's face. The tough little guy had said that obvious without thinking and now was ashamed he had done that.

"I've found it" Harry heard him saying, diving into the boot of the car and almost losing his balance.

"Be careful. We don't want you to bring to the hospital. For the time being I have enough of them"

"Was it a hard time being there?" Michael asked with a serious look on his face.

"Well it hasn't been not exactly the happiest time of my life. No, but if you compare it how it was the first day I was lying there I made some progress"

"Is...is it true what James said? I mean, that you couldn't walk at all back then?"

"Yes that's true. I couldn't even move my fingers. And see what I can do now?" Harry stretched her hand out.

"Wow!" Amazed Michael looked up at her: "But would you be okay after a while?"

"I don't know. The doctors can't give me any guarantee for that. I'm afraid I wouldn't but don't know that for sure yet. But you don't have to break your head about it"

"But I wanted to see you and James to be happy. He really deserves it to be happy and you too"

"Oh that's so sweet of you to say that. Come here"

Michael wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and laid his head against her chest. They stood there for awhile in an embracement unaware of the fact that Dempsey had entered the garage again after he had brought Sophia to the bedroom where he had laid her in bed to cache up some more sleep.

"Hmmm" he said softly: "I don't want to interrupt you two but our beloved boss is here and he wants to speak to both of us"

"Spikings is here?"

"Yeah. In the living room"

"Why didn't you tell me that he was here?"

"Who's Spikings?" Michael looked from Harry to Dempsey and back at Harry.

"Our boss"

"But I thought you don't work there anymore?"

"That's a long story. You know what sport? If you can take your own bag to the bedroom and unpack it and then bring this little green one to it as well? That is Sophia's. Can you do that for me? I'll do the others" Dempsey run a hand through Michael's hair.

"Don't do that! You are ruin my coupe!"

After Michael had said that he disappeared with his bag into the house while both Harry and Dempsey busted out in laughing.

"Well you can certainly say it will never been boring with him having around"

They were still smiling when Dempsey turned around to look Harry straight in her eyes.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked a little hesitated but being very serious now.

"No" Harry laid her right hand against his chest: "I admit I was earlier but I understand now that there wasn't an other option for you. I hope only one thing?"

"And that is?"

"That you NEVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN"

"I prom..." Dempsey started to say, but Harry immediately laid a finger against his lips before she replaced her finger with her mouth. The kiss had turned in to so much more when not a voice behind them had interrupted them.

"I'm sorry to disturb the two lovebirds but Spikings started to become a little inpatient here"

"Tell him we'll be right there" Dempsey answered, wrapping his arms a little faster around Harry's waist.

"Don't say I didn't warn you" Chas looked at the two people who seemed to have only eyes for each other and for nothing else. Instantly he knew that Spikings had to wait for at least another 10 minutes before the two would show up at the living room. It has been a very long night which seems to turn into an even longer day.


	88. Chapter 88

"Where are Batman and Robin?"

Spikings was still sitting on the couch, poring in his 3 glass and slowly started to lose his temper.

"Chas!" he yelled at the man who wished he had drag Dempsey to the living room himself when he looked at his watch when he saw that in the meantime more than 10 minutes had passed since the last time he had seen the two of them in the garage.

"Where are they? I thought you said they would be here 15 minutes ago"

"I'll see if I can't find them"

Chas disappeared as quickly as he could. Halfway on his way to the garage he bumped up to a wide smiling Dempsey followed by a sheepish looking Harry. Chas didn't want to think about what the two of them had been doing in the garage but it was obvious that they had done much more than only holding each others hands. Harry tried to push her t-shirt back in her trousers with one hand while Dempsey's hair looked like if someone has ruffled his hands more than once through it.

"You can't appear in there like this!" Chas hissed grabbing Dempsey's by his left arm: "Not after what he had done for you last night"

"Done?" Harry answered surprised: "What do you mean?"

"You didn't tell her yet?"

"I had other things on my mind" Dempsey grinned.

"Yeah, but I heard you saying total other things last night!" Chas obvious started to get angry.

"You are right" Dempsey admitted. Sometimes he knew when enough would be enough so he took Harry's hand and disappeared with her in the bathroom.

"Don't let Spikings wait for another 10 minutes!" Chas yelled after them when he saw Dempsey closing the door.

"Where was he talking about?" Harry sat down on the toilet and watched how Dempsey tried to bring his hair back to a more appropriate condition.

"Let's go see the boss. I'll tell you everything when we'll be in the living room"

Hopeless Harry stared at Dempsey, still trying in the meantime putting her t-shirt back in her trousers.

"Do you have any problems Sergeant?" Dempsey stretched his hand out to her back.

"First I'm not a Sergeant anymore and second I can do that myself!" Harry pushed Dempsey's hand away. If he should help her, they would never made it to the living room knowing him.

"I only wanted to be helpful" Dempsey smiled the most innocent smile he could come up with.

"Yeah. And I must believe that"

"Of course, you know me"

"That's exactly the right point here"

Still smiling Dempsey opened the door for her to let her pass: "After you Sergeant. Always after you"

"You see, I have prove now"

"About what?"

"That you are a coward!"

"I am not!"

They were still making arguments when they entered the living room.

"Unbelievable. I thought you two get lost on your way to here"

Harry didn't know where to look. She had the impression that Spikings exactly knew what they had been doing even if she was sure that Chas hadn't mentioned it to him.

"I'm sorry Sir" Harry started, punching Dempsey in his side when she heard him still grin: "Dempsey didn't tell me you were here"

"No of course Dempsey didn't tell you. I bet he also didn't tell you why he brought you here together with Sophia and Michael either"

"He just wanted to do that Sir"

"Oh yeah? So you are still in the dark?"

"Yes Sir"

"Well let's see what he has to tell you then" Spikings leant back and focused his view on Dempsey who started to look a little uncomfortable.

"Well Lieutenant? What do you have to tell her about what had happened last night?"

Dempsey sat down in the chair in front of Spikings while Harry took a seat next to him.

"Well?" Harry asked, seeing how Dempsey shared a meaningful glaze with their boss.

"Okay" Harry heard him taking in a deep breath: "After I brought you back to the rehabilitation centre I drove back to work. I knew that almost everyone should be home by then so I thought it would be the best time to see if I could find something more in the archive as I prom... well as I said I should do" he interrupted himself realising that he almost had used the word 'promised' again.

"After an hour I drove back to my apartment. It was dark outside when I parked the car in front of the building. Went upstairs and opened the front door of my apartment. First I didn't notice that there was something wrong, but then I switched the light on in the living room and..."

Harry saw Dempsey swallow hard. Sitting next to Harry made everything even worse. Harry's hand searched Dempsey's. She knew that Spikings didn't prefer that they showed their affection openly for each other when they were working, but technical she wasn't working at the force anymore. For once Dempsey was glad that she didn't give a damn thing about what Spikings thought about their relationship. He squeezed Harry's hand and gave her the biggest smile since he had returned to London.

"I stood petrified, couldn't believe what I saw. Someone had turned the whole living room up side down. It was a total mess. Harry, I was so glad you weren't there to force to watch it. First I had no idea what to do and tried to clean up the mess, but when I put the lamp back on the table I discovered a little black box under it"

When Dempsey didn't continue and only looked at Harry. She knew immediately where he was referring to.

"Don't tell me that it's true" she whispered softly: "Did you also find a bug in your apartment?"

"Yes. And not only in the living room. There were also two bugs in the bedroom"

Harry felt her cheek become red. This was so embarrassing. Dempsey laid his arm around Harry's shoulders. He knew exactly where she was thinking on.

"They heard everything what we said! Why should they break in your apartment in the first place? It makes no sense" Harry exasperated pushing Dempsey's hand away and standing up.

"Harry wait!" Dempsey yelled after her.

"Leave me alone" was all Harry said. She was shocked, turned apart. She could only think on one thing: Charles or McAllister or both of them had not only bugged her room in the rehabilitation centre, rooms in Winfield Hall but had also placed bugs in Dempsey's apartment. If she thought at all the words she had said to Dempsey Saturday evening in the bedroom and what they had tried to do. Tears appeared in her eyes. If they had really made love to each other it would have been even more embarrassing. Then she would had never been able to enter that bedroom of him anymore.

Harry stretched herself out of the bed while she buried her head in the pillow. Tears were streaming over her face now. The sobs became uncontrollable. Why had she ever decided to move in with Dempsey during the weekends? She should have stay in her own home the only place she could think of where she should have been safe. Never listen to all Dempsey's sweet talks during all these weeks. She realised that now.

When she heard the door peeked open, Harry turned her head around. She wouldn't talk to Dempsey. Never again.

"Harry sweetheart"

"Go away!"

"Harry listen to me"

"I don't want to talk to you"

"Let me explain it"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXPLANATION! Have I made myself clear?"

Dempsey sat down on the bed and touched Harry's shoulder to turn her around.

"Don't touch me!"

Tears welled up in Dempsey's eyes. He could understand that she was mad at him, but she had it all so wrong. Why didn't she realise that?

"If they had bugged your place, I'm sure they had also taped everything!`

"Chas found a tape recorder in the basement of the building with some tapes" he admitted with a little hesitation. He hadn't had plans to tell that, but sooner or later she would found out anyway.

"You see. Have you any idea how embarrassing this is when Fry or Dave start to listen to these tapes? I have never been so humiliated in my entire life! When this comes public the whole SI10 office knew what we had been doing in the bedroom. We agreed to keep our relationship a secret for most of our colleagues till you would become the new Superintendent. And what do you do? You even brought Sophia with you! Did you forget she's a little copy of you? By now, everybody in here assumed, no knows that you are her father. Why did you never think of that in the first place!"

Dempsey had let Harry first say what she wanted to say. The last few weeks he had learn that it would be wiser to let her anger come out first, before interrupting her.

"I had no other choice. I had to bring Sophia and Michael with us" he tried to say, but she turned her head away from him.

"Will you please go. I trusted you! I thought I would be safe by you. I need some time on my own. Time to think. I'm not able to do that with you being around"

"You were safe with me. I didn't know they bugged my place! How should I have known that? It didn't crossed my mind before yesterday that they maybe bugged some places. You know that" He squeezed her shoulder, but she slept his hand away.

"Will you please go before I say something I'm sure I'll regret later"

"Harry, why don't you give me a chance to explain, to tell you everything what happened? Why?"

"Because I have enough of you and your explanations. Up to here. That's why"

"Okay" Dempsey stood up from the bed: "I'm leaving. But not before I tell you one thing: you have it all wrong!"

Tears were still lying in Dempsey's eyes when he left the room and closed the bedroom door behind him and walked to the garage. The boot of the car stood open. Two big bags and one smaller one were lying side by side in it. The green one was gone. Michael had kept his promise to bring Sophia's bag inside as well, he thought. Now he only had to find Harry's notes. Of course when he searched the first one he came up with nothing. He should have known that. Things you needed, laid always at a place where you didn't look first. He stuffed all Harry's clothes back in the bag and unzipped the second one. Well he must definitely say, she had tried to put as much of her belongings into that bag. He could only get something out of it by turning the whole bag upside down. At the bottom of the bag he found what he been searching for. A bundle of notes. Without looking what he was exactly doing he took a bundle of clothes in his hand and pushed them back in the bag. Then he zipped the bag again and took Harry's two bags in one hand and the other, his, and the bunch of papers in his other and walked back to the bedroom. Carefully he opened the door. He saw Harry lying on her side, she had obvious fallen asleep because she didn't react when he put the three bags on the floor inside the room and left again.

"And?" was all Spikings said when he entered the living room.

"What and?"

"Did Harry know by now what happened? Where you brought her here together with the kids?"

"Not exactly"

"Meaning?"

"She refused to talk to me"

"What?" Spikings almost exploded: "She is, was in danger and you even didn't tell her that?"

"It's a little complicated"

How could he tell Spikings what Harry had been thinking?

"It's always complicated with the two of you!"

"I know"

And since I returned, it seemed only become worse, Dempsey thought.

"Here are the notes Harry made" Dempsey said, hoping that would distract the other man so much that he would let their personal life rest. At least for a while. Dempsey went silence when Spikings started to read Harry's notes. He knew that it wouldn't look good for him. And indeed as soon as Spikings finished reading the lecture started.

"How could you two keep this behind? What do you thought you were? Lone rangers who could solve this on their own? I don't understand how you got Harry so far to help you? Did you lost your mind? Or are there perhaps other things I should know about?"

"It was Harry idea to help me solve the case"

"And you just let it happen?"

"I never thought..." Dempsey started carefully.

"That's exactly always the problem with you" Spikings cut in: "You think you have solved a case when you know who the bad guys are. You are not thinking about the consequences who you put in danger by just going out on your own"

"She volunteered to help me. Harry thought when she could talk to Lucia we should have a lead"

"A lead? To whom?"

"Charles?"

"Who's Charles?"

At that moment Dempsey realised that Harry had never mentioned Charles name in her notes. He had not really read them. Not in the way he should have. He wished now he had paid more attention to them. But that was too late now.

"A guy from which we assumed he lays behind all this"

"Assumed? Lays after what?"

"Harry and I ... we think, no we know for sure that Charles and McAllister are involved with each other and that Lucia... Well, that she's Charles wife or something like that?"

"Where did you get that theory from?"

"We found a photo of Charles and Lucia together this weekend when we were at Winfield Hall"

"A photo? How did you get that one?"

"That's a long story"

"Well I have some time: go ahead"

Dempsey clinched his hands together. He couldn't tell Spikings what had happened to Harry back then. She would never forgive him.

"Harry trusted me in something. I can't tell you all the details. I promised her that. I know how she thinks about my promises these days, but this is really something between her and me. Let me put it this way: Charles had done something and got jealous on me. He wanted to let me pay when I came back to London to be with Harry. He send Lucia to Harry so she could try to separate us because that would have been the only way to stop our investigation. But she didn't succeeded so the only way left for him was to get all our places bugged so he knew exactly what we were doing. But why I am telling you this? I have done this last night already!" Dempsey said angrily.

"Because Lieutenant. Last night I got the impression that you had no clue where you were talking about. That you only had eyes for one thing: bringing Harry to a safe place when you obvious, finally, realised that there wasn't another option left anymore"

"I ..." he had no idea what to say on that.

"I think it would be the best thing for me to do now is to go back to the office. I take Chas with me an we will see where we can come up with. I'll put Dave on this case as well"

Dempsey wanted to say something, but just in time kept his mouth shot. He had not much to wish or to ask for anymore. The whole case laid out of his hands, he was depended on others from now on.

"We will have two police cars waiting outside. And for god sake Dempsey: use you RT or the phone if you see anything suspicious going on around here and talk to Harry!"

Spikings stood up from the sofa, grabbed Harry's notes together and left the room. 5 minutes later he heard Chas car drive away. All the others had left an hour ago already so the house was now complete empty except from him, Harry and the kids. If Michael had waited till Spikings and Chas had left he entered the living room.

"James? Do you perhaps have something to eat?"

Dempsey jumped on his feet. It was 10 o'clock in the meantime.

"I think so. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Yeah. By the way: Sophia is also awake" the little guy announced.

"If you see if you can find something to eat in the kitchen, I get Sophia out of bed. I meet you there"

"What about Harry? Where is she?"

"Also sleeping"

"And you?" Michael said, looking at James with great concern on his face.

"What do you mean and me?"

"You look if you can also use some sleep"

"Don't worry about me. I can without sleep for days if it's necessary"

"Yeah" It was obvious that Michael didn't believe a word of what Dempsey had said. And when Dempsey had left the room he whispered to himself: "Probably you have to collapse first before you admit you are exhausted"


	89. Chapter 89

Harry slowly opened her eyes. She smelt something. It seemed like bacon and eggs. She heard also noises in the kitchen. One of them was Dempsey's. Was he making lunch? Smelling made her realising that she hadn't eaten for a very long time. She didn't look forward to see Dempsey at that moment, but she had to. She was starving and it smelt so delicious that she couldn't resist it. So she got up and walked to the living room. When she entered it, she saw Dempsey, Sophia and Michael sitting at the diner table.

"Hi Harry, you are wake!" Michael said happy.

"Mummy, where were you?"

"I fell asleep. Daddy forgot to wake me up"

"He didn't. He tried to wake you up, but you didn't react" Sophia answered. She was obvious defending her father.

Harry avoided to look at Dempsey and took a chair to sit next to Sophia.

"What do you want for breakfast?" she heard Dempsey asking.

"What do you have?"

"I tried to make an English breakfast"

"And we help"

Michael handed her a plate with some bacon and eggs on it.

"I have cornflakes. You can have these as well if you want"

"No this would be fine"

Harry only looked at her plate. It was so hard to do if nothing had happened between her and Dempsey especially with the kids around.

"Can we play in the garden?" Michael begged after he had emptied his plate and drunk a glass of milk.

"Of course"

"No" Harry answered simultaneous.

"Why not?" Sophia switched her head between the two adults.

"I don't want you two to go out"

"What could we do then here?" Michael looked around in the living room if he could find something else to do then inside the house.

"They can go out. The whole garden is electric protected"

"How do you know that?"

"Because Chas told me"

"I wished you had told me as well" Harry said between gritted teeth's.

"I should have done that if you had listen to me"

Michael saw Sophia's lip starting to tremble. He had to do something. Sophia had no idea why her parents were yelling at each other, but she realised that something was wrong.

"Come let's see what's outside. The sun is shining" he grabbed Sophia's hand and together they walked outside leaving Dempsey and Harry behind. They just sat there without saying anything to each other for at least 5 minutes.

"I clean up" Dempsey finally said, picking up the dishes and walked up to the kitchen. Harry staid behind not knowing what to do. She stood up from the chair and walked over to the window. Michael and Sophia were playing cops and robbery, running after each other and pretending if they were busting someone. It was obvious that this idea came from Michael. Sophia was too little to understand what her father was doing for a living. Michael had obvious seen too many cop movies lately since he met Dempsey.

Harry felt uncomfortable. She wanted to go outside as well. As long as she didn't have to talk to Dempsey. But as far as she could see, it was cold outside so she needed a sweater. When she walked back to the bedroom, she saw three bags standing next to each other at the floor. She knew that she put her sweater on top in the brown bag but when she unzipped it to take it out of it, it wasn't there. All her clothes laid through each other. If someone had pushed them inside without paying any attention to her belongings. She took the bag to the bed and turned the bag upside down. Fanatic she started to dig through everything that came out. Soon her fear became reality. Her notes were gone. She thought first that she had make a mistake, that she put the notes in the other bag, but she couldn't find them in there either. There could only be one person who could have taken them out of her bag. Now she started really to become angry. Why had he done that without even ask her first? It was her work, these were her notes!

She could still hear Dempsey being busy in the kitchen so Harry humbled to it and pushed the door open.

"Where are my notes?" Harry asked angrily.

"At the SI10 office" Dempsey answered putting a cup back in the cupboard with his back to Harry.

"At the office? What give you the right to do that?"

"Because we had to give them to Spikings"

"He has nothing to do with them. If I should have know that you were planning to do that, I should never wrote them"

"I didn't plan to do that"

"Come on Dempsey at least have the guts to admit it"

"There's nothing to admit. If you had given me the opportunity to explain everything, you should have known what had happened and have never said that"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Because the only thing you were so afraid of was what our colleagues would say about what we had been doing in the bedroom or said there to each other. If you had listen to me I should have told you that the two bugs they placed in the bedroom were not working. I don't know why but they were disconnected. Only the bug in the living room were operational"

Dempsey put his hand in his pocket and handed Harry a little piece of paper. With shaking hands she unfolded it.

_ We know exactly what you are doing. You and that partner of yours. It will only be a matter of time before we'll__ find where we are looking for_

"What's this?" Puzzled Harry searched Dempsey's face for more information.

"As soon as I found this on the kitchen table and found the bug I phoned the office. I told Spiking everything about our suspicious. I know that you told me to do it yesterday and that I refused. I'm sorry. I should have listen to you but I really thought I could handle it on my own. As you said: that would have been pure suicide I realise that now. Spikings arranged this safe house, because he realised that I was in danger. Then I had to tell him that you were involved as well and that I couldn't go on my own. Not without you and Sophia and when I told him about Michael he send a police car to the orphanage to pick Michael up and later Sophia. I leant Chas car because I am afraid that they also bugged my car. I couldn't tell you through the phone this morning what had happened. When they couldn't find what they were looking for at my apartment, they must known the only place your notes could be now was in the rehabilitation centre. So you were in much more danger as you had been in before. It had cost me a lot of energy to persuade Felicia to help you pack your things and let you sneak out of the rehabilitation centre. I'm sorry that I had to do it this way. I have no idea how it will go from now on. Not with the case, not with us. I probably deserved it that you said to me that you don't trust me anymore. But will you please believe me that I had no other option?"

Dempsey put his hands in his pockets and bite his lip. Nervously he looked at Harry's face. Now he had laid all his cards on the table. It was now up to Harry and he was uncertain how she would react on everything.

But he shouldn't have been nervous. Slowly Harry approached him and laid her hand against his cheek. Her thumb of her left hand started to caress it. Dempsey didn't move only looked her straight in the eyes. Then Harry took Dempsey's chin in her hand, and kissed his lips. Dempsey wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and kissed her back as tender and carefully as he could come up with. When they broke the kiss after a while they were both breathing very heavily.

"Does this mean that you forgive me?" Dempsey needed some conformation and searched in Harry's eyes for it.

"Forgiven is not the right word here. I love you, I didn't mean that I didn't trust you. I was hurt and had no idea how to deal with the whole situation you forced me in, but I understand it now. I go outside to see what our children are doing and I'm sending you away to get some rest"

Amazed Dempsey looked at Harry.

"What is the matter?"

"Did you know what you just said?"

"Yes, I'm sending you to bed"

"That's not what I mean, before that"

"What?"

"You said _our children_"

"I did?"

"Yes you did"

"Well I must say, it seemed if I know Michael for a very long time already. Maybe he feels already as our son"

"Would you like to be him as our son?" Dempsey asked taking Harry's face in his hands.

"Maybe, but not as a replacement for Little James" Harry nodded her head.

"Of course not. Michael will never be a substitute for him. If we can find out more about his back round first, we could see if we can do something about that"

"That would be great. And now my love..." Harry put a kiss on Dempsey's cheek: "Bedtime"

"Yes Mum"

With a big grin on his face, Dempsey left the kitchen and vanished in the bedroom where he sat down on the bed. He kicked his shoes off, but when he removed his trousers it hardly made it to the chair next to the bed. His head hit the pillow and before he could even think of taken his shirt off or open the bed-clothes, he was fast asleep. All the hours without sleep had finally taken his toll.


	90. Chapter 90

Harry just approached the garden when Michael run up to her and almost knocked her down in his enthusiasm.

"Ho take it easy" Harry said, grabbing the little guys shoulder to steady herself.

"Harry! Sophia and I discovered a swimming pool"

"Yes Mummy we did" Sophia joined in when she finally reached the two of them.

"Where?" Harry switched her head from left to right but all she saw was no swimming pool.

"Over there, behind the house" Michael pointed with his finger in the distance: "It lays inside"

"Inside?"

"It's build somewhere inside the house. Can we take a look at it?"

"Yes Mummy, can we do that?" Sophia begged.

"You said inside the house?" Harry had no idea what to think of that.

"You can see it from outside. It's lying behind glass"

"Well, let's see if we can find it then"

When the two kids wanted to run away, Harry hold Sophia back.

"No running. Just walking"

"But Mummy..."

"No" Harry answered firmly: "Your father is sleeping and I don't want him to wake up right now"

With an amazed expression on his face Michael turned around to gaze at Harry.

"What is it?"

"James is sleeping?" the little guy asked.

"Yes. I ordered him to bed. Why? You look if you couldn't believe your ears"

"He said he could live without sleep for days!"

A little smile crept over Harry's face.

"I think James overreacted himself a little bit here" Harry said wrapping her right arm around Michael's shoulders.

"I thought so already. Nobody can live without sleep for so long"

"Well, sometimes James and I worked 24 hours non stop on a case but then we really had to take some rest"

"Wow, is that what live as a cop is?"

"What do you mean?"

"Only work?"

"Not really" Harry thought, thinking back at all the moments she and Dempsey had shared outside work as well.

"Mummy!"

Sophia's voice cut through Harry's thoughts.

"Yes Sweetie"

"We should be searching for that swimming pool!"

All the talks about work, it was too much for Sophia.

"Let's go then"

It didn't take long or the three of them had reached the back of the house. When Harry pushed a door open, they stood in a little room filled with fitness equipment. It was if Harry had stepped back into the fitness centre of the rehabilitation centre. All the equipment she had used there, were standing here as well. But Michael nor Sophia had eyes for them. They wanted to find that swimming pool so Harry got not much time to look around.

"It must be somewhere in here" Harry heard Michael saying: "It's the glass thing we saw from outside"

And indeed, when Harry opened a small door in the corner of the room, a big swimming pool laid in front of them.

"Wow" was all Michael could come up with. It seemed even bigger than he and Sophia had seen from outside.

"Mummy? Can we swim?"

"Sweetie, I don't know if we are permitted to use this swimming pool"

"Why not?" 2 blue eyes and 2 brown eyes were looking up at Harry now.

"I need to ask first"

"Why?"

It was obvious that the two kids wouldn't give up before they got a satisfied answer.

"Because this is not our house"

"But we live here now"

Harry took a deep breath. How to explain to the two kids that they should only live here for the time being? That this was a safe house they were only be able to use till Dempsey's case would be solved? They had no idea what the word safe house meant.

"I'll ask Spikings if we are permitted to use it. Okay?"

"Can we swim then if it's permitted?"

"If it's permitted I think about it"

"Please Mummy!"

Sophia slipped her little hand in Harry's. Michael didn't say a word. Only looked at the big swimming pool that laid in front of him with glimmering eyes.

"But you two has to promise me one thing first"

"What?"

"That you two don't go on your own in here. Not without James or me. Have I made myself clear?"

When nor Sophia or Michael reacted, Harry repeated what she had said.

"I mean it. It's too dangerous for the two of you"

"Okay" Michael finally said with great hesitation in his voice followed by Sophia.

"Well, now that we found it, we go back"

"Will you phone Spikings then about it?"

"I will. Don't worry"

When they were back in the garden, Harry took a chair to sit down. She felt if a train had hit her. Walking was still not her favourite thing. 10 minutes went by. 10 minutes in which Michael and Sophia sat down in a chair as well. But after these 10 minutes, both Michael and Sophia became restless.

"You don't have to stay with me" Harry said: "Go playing"

"Are you sure?" Michael asked, standing up from his chair.

"Yeah, who knows what more you discover?"

With a smile on her face, Harry saw the two of them run away. It hadn't been such a bad idea from Dempsey to take Michael with them. At least Sophia had someone to play with and so far the two kids seemed to get along very good with each other. Harry had just closed her eyes to take a little nap when the phone started to ring.

"Harry? Spikings. Is Dempsey somewhere around?"

"Eh no Sir"

"Not? Where is he? I need to talk to him. It's urgent"

"He is...eh. I can't disturb him now Sir"

"Harry? What's this?"

Spikings wasn't used to the fact that Harry refused to do what he was ordering.

"I'm sorry Sir"

"Do you two want to solve this case or what?"

"We do Sir, but...I ordered Dempsey to bed"

Harry said even before thinking. How must that sound in Spikings ears?

"You did what?" she heard him exasperated at the other side of the line.

"He was exhausted Sir"

"Yes and so am I! We are not working here 24 hours a day when he... I'll phone you two again in 30 minutes time. By that time I expect him to be fully awake"

"But Sir you could also ask..." Harry started.

"30 minutes Harry" Spikings cut in, not listening to what Harry tried to say.

And before Harry could say another word, Spikings hang up on her.

This wasn't what Harry had planned when she had ordered Dempsey to get some sleep. He needed the rest. But on the other hand, Spikings was right. They were working overtime at the office to solve the case and they all there needed some rest as well. There was no other possibility. She had to wake Dempsey. Without making less noise Harry pushed the door from the bedroom open. Dempsey laid on his back on the bed. Still fast asleep and half dressed.

"James?" Harry whispered softly. No reaction.

"James? Spikings..." But Harry didn't finish her sentence. This was crazy what she was doing. If Spikings wanted some answers on questions, he could ask her. She knew as much about the case as Dempsey did. Perhaps even more. So in spite of waking him up, she pushed him a little aside. Just far enough to pull the bed-clothes from under him. When she had done that, she tucked him in and put a kiss on his cheek.

"Harry?" she heard him saying with a sleepy voice.

"Stt. Go back to sleep"

Before Harry had left the room, Dempsey had turned to his right and was fast asleep again. Harry was glad because for a short moment of time, she really thought she had wake him up. Now she only had to convince Spikings about what she had done. And that wouldn't be easy.

Exactly 30 minutes later, the phone started to ring again. When Harry took the receiver and she heard Spikings voice, she took a deep breath before she was able to say her name.

"And girl? Give me Dempsey"

"Sir. Dempsey is still sleeping. If you need some answers, you can also ask me" It sounded more confidant as Harry felt deep down inside.

"What's this? A conspiracy? I thought I had made myself clear?"

"Yes Sir, but I made the notes. I found the connection and not Dempsey so..."

"This has nothing to do with your notes!"

What? Harry thought. What now? Were there more things? Things they didn't know about? When would this all ever ends?

"About what then Sir?"

"That boy that Dempsey begged me to take with him and that he shot!"

Harry felt a deep fear started to grow deep down inside her.

"What about him Sir?" she asked with a small voice.

"Have you two ever done some investigation about his back round before you got involved with him?" Spikings asked, already assuming what the answer should be.

"We tried to but we both thought..."

"Amazing! It seems if I hear Dempsey speak. Thought, thought... You need evidence Harry, you know that. Not only thoughts"

"What are you trying to tell me Sir?"

"That you have a little time bomb in the house at the moment. Michael has a criminal record. He was involved in a robbery when he was 5 years old"

"What?" Harry almost dropped the receiver. This couldn't be true.

"I'll send a police car to pick him up. It's not safe for you, Sophia or Dempsey to have him around"

"I see"

"So don't mention to him that you know his back round"

"No... of course not""

"Talk to you two later when Michael will be back at the orphanage where he belongs "

Harry was too astound to say something in return. When she put the receiver down and turned around she saw Michael standing in the door way. Harry realised that he must have been standing there for god knows how long already. Maybe he had even followed the whole conversation! She saw him swallow. He didn't say a word only looked at Harry. Tears started to fill his eyes.

"It's not what you are thinking! What they are all saying. They forced me to do it" was all he said before he turned around and ran away.

"Michael wait!" Harry yelled after him without any luck: "Michael. Please come back"

But he didn't come back. She heard the door of the bed room slammed. At the same moment

Harry wanted to follow him, she watched Dempsey entering the room. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and yawed.

"What was that all about?" he asked with still a half sleepy voice: "I thought I saw you at my bed side earlier. But what's all that noise?"

"James, I guess you can better sit down"

With a frown on his face, Dempsey took a seat next to Harry. Slowly she started to fill him in about what Spikings had told her.

"You're kidding me? Is that his back round? I can't believe it"

"To be honest. Me neither. Do you remember that he tried to tell us something when we were in that orphanage last Thursday? That he couldn't believe we got a present for him? And now he said that they forced him. To be involved in a robbery? Or did he mean something else here?"

"Yeah, I remember he had tried to let us know something. I think it would be time that he and I had a little chat. I don't let him take away from here before I know the whole truth!" Dempsey said firmly holding a hand through his hair.

"Be careful. Spikings said he's a little time bomb"

"Well, I guess it will be time for the bomb then to explode"

With a weak smile on his face and still not fully awake, Dempsey walked away. He tried to let all the news Harry had told him to sink in before he reached the bed room and knocked on the door.

"Michael? May I come in?"

No answer. The only thing Dempsey heard was an uncontrollable sobbing that came from inside the room.

"We need to talk"

Still no answer. Only the sobbing became even heavier.

"Michael?" Dempsey peaked his head around the door. The little guy sat on his bed with his arms around his knees.

"He Sport" Dempsey started as soon as he had closed the door behind him.

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

"He, I can't say if you did something wrong or not. Not before I know everything"

"You won't believe me. Nobody believes me"

"Believes what?"

"That I didn't want to do it"

"I know that part already. Wouldn't it be wise to start from the beginning?"

"Beginning?"

"Yeah. For example what you wanted to tell Harry and me last Thursday but couldn't?"

"Nothing"

"Come on. There's something bordering you. Probably for a very long time already"

"There's nothing"

"And where are you so upset about then?" Dempsey tried.

"That people always assumed things, that they..." Michael stopped abruptly without continuing so Dempsey filled the words in from which he thought Michael wanted to say but couldn't: "They accused you from things before they know the whole truth. Is that it?'

"Short of"

Dempsey walked over to the bed and sat down. This whole conversation reminded him at all the disagreements he and Harry had had over and over again the last few weeks. That in the bottom line they had turned out just what they suppose to be: misunderstandings. And now Michael was obvious struggling with this same opinion. That nobody understood him.

"Would it be an idea if I ask the questions and you give me the answers? Shall we see if that works?"

"You are used to that. Aren't you?" Michael said.

"Well you can certainly say that. Look. I'll be honest with you. Spikings, our boss, is sending a police car to bring you back to the orphanage"

Dempsey saw the panic raised in Michael's face when he had said that.

"Trust me. I won't let them take you away straight ahead. But if you'll avoid this, you have to tell me what happened. Can you do that?"

Dempsey saw the struggle that Michael had with himself about this. It was good that Harry wasn't around when Dempsey continued: "I promise you that you can stay if you tell me everything that's bordering you"

"Okay then" Michael agreed softly, cuddling up to Dempsey who put his arm around Michael's shoulders. Now Dempsey's only prayed that he would be able to keep his promise when Michael had told him the whole story.


	91. Chapter 91

The more time passed by, the more nervous Harry became. Dempsey and Michael staid in the bedroom together now for more than 20 minutes. What took them so long in there? Was it such a heavy story Michael had to tell?

"Why is Michael in the bedroom with Daddy and can't I go to them?" Sophia asked for the 4 times now not understanding why Harry had hold her back from running up to them.

"They need to talk Sweetie"

"Talk?"

"Yeah"

With a deep frown on her face, Sophia sat down in a chair next to Harry. The sun was still shinning and it didn't take long before the exhaustion took over from all the playing Sophia had done outside and was she fast asleep.

Trying not to make too much noise, Harry went inside the house. She needed something to distract herself otherwise she started to become crazy of all the waiting. In the corner of the room she discovered a big bookcase filled with all kinds of books. It was impossible for her to reach the big books at the top of the case, but to her relieve there stood some smaller, more readable, books on the lower shelves. Unfortunately most of them were crime stories. And if there was something she really didn't need now was to read about cases which should have been solved at the end of the book. Stretching herself out as much as possible, she was able to take a little book out of the bookcase, but while doing that three more tumbled down.

"Oh boy. That was not what I had in mind" Harry said to herself picking one of the falling books up from the ground followed by the other two. She pushed them back at their places and walked with the little book in her hand to the sofa and laid the book on the coffee table. Making herself comfortable, she pulled her legs up on the sofa. That was a big relief after all the walking she had done the last hour. She bent over to pick the book up but it was just out of reach and before she could do something about it, the book tumbled to the ground.

"Stupid hand" she said to herself: "When will the time come that I can rely on you again?"

With a groan, Harry stood up again to pick the book up from the floor. Then till her surprise she discovered something. Three photos laid half under the sofa. Probably they had fallen out of the book. Strange place to hide some photos, Harry thought. Without thinking she turned one of the photos around and at the same time it was if her heart stood still. This wasn't possible! She was dreaming! But even after she blinked her eyes twice and even for a third time, the view was still there. So it wasn't a dream. It was reality. With shaking hands Harry sat down on the sofa again. She could only stare at the photo. Forgotten was the little book, Harry had only eyes for the photo. Not knowing what to expect, she reached out to the other two photos. At least these were photos she had never seen before, but they were related to the first one. No doubts about that. How did they came into that book? Still thinking about that a cold breeze reached her face which made her shiver. Was it possible that...? No, now she really started to feel things that didn't exist. But on the other hand? How on earth had she just picked that particular book out of the bookcase in spite of one of the others? There were thousands of them. Bewildered Harry looked around if she could find the solution somewhere in the room. But the room was empty. There was no one else beside her.

Harry almost jumped up when the door bell hardly cut through her thoughts. She had totally forgotten that Spikings had send a police car to pick Michael up to bring him back to the orphanage. For a short moment of time, Harry had no idea what to do. Dempsey had said that he wouldn't let Michael go away. Not before he knew the whole story about his back round. But Dempsey hadn't return from his chat with Michael yet. A second time the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming" Harry yelled picking up her stick and walking to the door.

When she opened the front door she saw two policemen standing in front of her. One had his badge in his hand the other only stared at Harry.

"I'm Officer Watson and this is Sergeant Wight. We come to pick up a little guy"

"That guy has a name!" Harry answered a little irritated.

"We don't know his name. They only send us to pick a little kid up"

"Well, then you can turn around and go back to where you came from, because that little kid" and Harry laid some extra power on the word 'kid': "Isn't going anywhere!"

"We have orders"

"I know. But that kid stays here"

"What do we say to your boss?" Officer Watson obvious had no idea what to do next.

"I take full responsibility for that"

"Can you tell him that we did everything to..."

"I will. Goodbye"

Harry closed the door before the two police officers could say something else anymore. How could Spikings send these two men to pick Michael up? They even didn't know the guys name! Still wondering about this Harry walked back to the living room. Hardly she sat down on the sofa or she heard the door of the living room opening behind her back.

"Was that what I thought it was?" Dempsey said entering the room with a frown on his face.

"Yes, I've send the car away"

"I'm glad you did"

"Dempsey? Do you know what this means?"

"No I don't know"

"We didn't follow orders!"

"You are the one who always wanted to do everything by the book I'm glad for once you did the opposite way"

"That didn't mean I'm happy with it!" Harry answered irritated.

"You will if you know what Michael told me" Dempsey defended himself. He could imagine how Harry must feel at the moment. This has probably the first time in her entire life that she had followed his orders in spite of Spikings.

But Harry wasn't listening anymore to what Dempsey had to say. Her mind was by something else. The three photos which were lying in front of them on the coffee table. She had thrown them on the table when the door bell rang. They laid up side down, but they were still there.

"He are you listening?" she heard Dempsey asking: "You seems miles away with your thoughts"

"What did you say?"

"I don't believe this! I thought you also wanted to know what happened to Michael, but obvious you don't give a damn thing about him" Dempsey looked hurt when he said that.

"That's not true. How can you say that?"

"Well it seems so to me"

"Of course I want to know more about him, you know that you obvious succeeded to find something out, but..."

"But what?"

"I don't know. I... Do you know who the owner of this safe house is?" Harry added out of the blue. It had just crossed her mind that Dempsey hadn't told her so far to whom this house belonged.

"How the hell do I know? I didn't ask when Spikings suggested a safe house. Did I have to ask him first? To get your permission or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Then why all of a sudden is it so important who the owner of this building is? What has this to do with Michael?"

"Nothing"

"Then what is it?"

"I found something" Harry said a little hesitated.

"Found something?" Dempsey repeated: "Found something of what?"

Harry didn't react immediately.

"What is this? A short of game? Do I have to guess now what you've found?"

Carefully Harry started to fill Dempsey in about the swimming pool and the fitness room the three of them had found this morning.

"So?" For Dempsey it was still a mystery where Harry was referring to: "The house belongs to someone who loves sport. Is that a problem for you?"

"Not exactly"

"I have been through enough already these last 24 hours. Or you tell me what's going on or I go back to the bed room trying to catch up some more sleep. Obvious you have no intention to hear what I have to tell you. I already had a terrible headache which even become worse at the moment" Dempsey answered angry and Harry realised that it wouldn't take long before he exploded. She had to be careful with what she said from now on. Harry turned her head to look at him and saw him rub his eyes. She knew she had disappointed him with not paying too much attention to the things he had found out about Michael. But she couldn't get these photos out of her mind. Maybe if she had showed them to him, he would understand why she reacted this way.

"I wanted to read something to distract myself so I didn't have to think on how you were doing with Michael. So I went over to the bookcase over there and picked a book out of it. By accident I dropped the book to the floor and these felt out of it" Harry started before with shaking hands she handed the photos over to Dempsey.

"That's why I wanted to know more about the owner of this house" Harry added softly when she saw him turning the photos while he was looking at her with a puzzled look on his face.

"I think you'll recognise at least one of them"

Not knowing to expect after these words of Harry, Dempsey looked down at the photos in his hand. At the same moment he did that, Harry saw all the colour disappear out of his face.

"This can't be true!"

"That's exactly what I thought as well when I discovered them. If I was dreaming" Harry carefully laid a hand on Dempsey's arm. She felt him shiver.

"But this is one of the photos..." When he didn't continue, Harry added: "Yes one of the photos in the photo album Andy gave me"

"And the others?" It was if Dempsey was afraid to look at the other two photos.

"See for yourself. I have never seen these two before, but I recognised you immediately"

Harry saw him biting his lip when he nodded his head to look at the other two photos. One was a photo of the whole battalion. The other one was obvious taken shortly after he had shot that little kid back in the jungle of Vietnam. He was standing next to his General. If the man needed a remembrance of this particular day so he could tell everyone later about it. Dempsey himself looked miserable on the photo. There was no doubt that he had been crying. Spore of tears were still visible on his face.

"I can't even remember anymore that they took these photos" Dempsey whispered trying to clear his throat but Harry could hear that everything of that day came back. Now that he finally thought that the past laid behind him, it turned back to him again.

"They obvious did"

"I don't understand. How did they come here?"

"I have no idea. Isn't it strange that from all the books in that bookcase I picked up this one? Something else happened shortly after I found these photos"

"What do you mean?"

"I felt a cold wind fill the air"

"You don't want to pretend that...? Come on Harry. I don't buy that"

"I don't know what to think about this all anymore. The only thing I can come up with is that Spikings perhaps indeed not know about what had happened to you back in Vietnam. Can you remember we assumed it but didn't know it for sure?"

"But how did he come up with _this _safe house then?"

"I don't know. Maybe it is just a coincidence"

"We have to find it out then" Dempsey stood up from the sofa and walked to the phone at the other side of the room.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked with great concern in her voice. She hadn't forgotten that they hadn't follow orders and she was sure that Spikings had been informed about that by now.

"He will be furious at us. You can expect a lecture about not following orders!"

"I can handle it" Harry heard him saying, turning his back to her and picking up the receiver.

Harry had doubts about the fact he could handle it. She didn't want to think about what would follow when Dempsey would exploded if Spikings should give him a hard time.

But even before Dempsey could dial the number of the office the doorbell rang again.

"I go" Harry volunteered.

"Take your gun with you" Dempsey said: "We never know who this can be"

"You are crazy. This is suppose to be a safe house. There are 2 police cars standing in front of the house to protect us. And by the way: I don't have a gun anymore!"

When Harry had said that, she disappeared in the hallway leaving a speechless Dempsey behind for just a second in the living room.

"Then take my gun!" Harry heard Dempsey yelling after her: "You are not opening the door without any protection"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

But before Harry could reach the front door, she was pushed aside by Dempsey.

"He?" Harry said almost losing her balance by the unexpected move he made: "I'm capable enough to handle my own life!"

"No you are not"

"Since when Lieutenant are you telling me what to do or not to do?"

"Since McAllister and Charles are after you...us" he corrected himself impatiently.

"I don't believe this"

"I only want you to be careful. What's wrong with that?"

"I'm careful"

"No you are not"

Slowly Harry turned around to look Dempsey in the eyes when he softly added: "I love you and I'm worried about you. I don't want that anything happened to you anymore. Is that so hard for you to understand?"

Nervous he looked back at Harry.

"No, it's not hard. I understand that you are worried about me, but you don't have to. Don't you recognise the voice of the person who's standing at the door?"

Dempsey felt silence, if he indeed had paid more attention at Harry than at the person who stood at the front door.

"Are you two fell asleep now inside there or what? I don't want to wait here forever!" they heard the voice saying.

Over Dempsey's face crept a little smile.

"I think I don't have to phone the office anymore" he whispered into Harry's ear.

"No" she admitted opening the door.

"Come in Sir. Dempsey and I..."

"I don't want to hear it! The only thing I want to hear is an answer on this question: "_WHY DID YOU TWO REFUSE TO FOLLOW MY ORDERS_ _WHEN YOU GET YOURSELF INVOLVED IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE BIGGEST CRIME IN THE HISTORY OF SI10?_" Spikings barked with an angry voice when he passed the two, now totally speechless, people standing in the hallway before he walked straight into the living room. And by doing that demanding Harry and Dempsey to follow him without any restrictions.


	92. Chapter 92

At the moment Dempsey and Harry wanted to follow Spikings in the living room the door of the bed room opened and Michael appeared in the doorway. Seeing Spikings the little guy started to shiver.

"What's he doing here? Tell me! You give me your word that I don't have to go away from here if I told you everything" Michael screamed with a hopeless voice turning to Dempsey before he continued: "I trusted you"

"He's not here for you" Dempsey said, but Michael wasn't listening.

He walked up to Dempsey and before Dempsey realised what he had in mind, one of Michael's little fist hit him in his stomach.

"I trusted you. I trusted you" Michael repeated over and over again, punching Dempsey again.

"Ho there"

Dempsey took both Michael's fists in his trying to calm him down, but without any luck. It was obvious that Michael completely freaked out seeing Spikings turning up. Now Michael's right foot hit Dempsey's leg with so much power that Dempsey couldn't avoid that a little groan escaped from his mouth.

"Au. Will you slow down!"

"You are just as the others. I should have known that" Michael said fighting to free himself out of Dempsey's grip.

"Our boss is here for our case and you know as much as I do that you are also involved in it since I shot you. That's all. He's not here to take you away from here"

"I don't believe you. You lied to me"

"I didn't lie to you. Let's go inside. We need to talk"

Dempsey took Michael by the hand and pushed him inside the bed room closing the door behind them.

"What was that all about?"

Spikings looked at Harry for an answer sitting down on the sofa.

"I told you that guy is a little time bomb" Spikings continued: "I guess this proofed that I was right"

"I don't know Sir" Harry said carefully: "Dempsey had a little chat with Michael earlier and..."

"And what?" Spikings asked when Harry didn't finished her sentence.

"I don't know that part yet Sir. Dempsey hadn't had the time so far to tell me what he found out"

Spikings frowned his eyebrows when he heard Harry saying that.

"With other words: you are just following Dempsey without knowing exactly what's going on. Am I right?"

With great hesitation Harry had to admit that that was exactly what was happening right now.

"But Sir, you know Dempsey! He won't let Michael stay here if he thought he would bring all of us in danger. I think that Michael would be in more danger as we sent him back to that orphanage than to let him stay here with us"

"No Harry. Do you know what I think? That Dempsey is so emotional involved with Michael's life that he doesn't see clearly anymore what it's happening. And till I don't hear something else that will change my mind, I won't let that little guy stay here. You have obvious no idea where that kid is capable to"

"But Sir..."

"End of discussion Harry"

Harry sat down on the chair in front of the sofa and put her head in her hands. "If" Dempsey won't come up with one good reason to let Michael stay, they had to send him back to that horrible orphanage. Why hadn't she let Dempsey tell everything about Michael first before she confronted him with these photos of his past? The photos which were still lying at he coffee table in front of her. She wished she had never found them in that book, but it was too late for that now. To her horror she also had to watch how Spikings reached his hand out to one of them to pick it up.

"What's this?" he asked turning the photo around.

"A photo Sir"

"I know what it is Harry. But how did you get it?"

"I found them Sir"

"Where?"

"In that book case over there"

Harry saw how Spikings took a closer look at the photo.

"Is that Dempsey?" he asked looking at Harry now for some confirmation.

"Yes Sir"

"Amazing" was all Spikings said, turning the other two photos up side down as well.

"Why Sir?" Harry asked a little hesitated.

"Because girl. The man on this photo" Spikings pointed with his finger at the General who stood next to Dempsey: "Is, correction was, an old friend of mine. This safe house belonged to him"

Harry could only gaze at Spikings. For a short moment of time Harry was so surprised that she wasn't able to speak.

"This house belongs to Rafe O'Brien?" she said finally not knowing what to think of this all.

"You know him?" Spikings wondered.

"Not exactly. That's a long story. But Sir... you said this house belonged to him. Isn't it his house anymore? What happened?"

"No unfortunately not. Alfred died 4 weeks ago after having a major stroke. He wasn't so lucky as you Harry. He almost died immediately"

In the meantime Dempsey had pushed Michael down on the bed in the bed room still holding his fists.

"I told you everything I know. And the first thing you did after that was to phone your boss... It's not fair!" Michael started followed by an uncontrollable sobbing.

"I didn't phone him. He came to inform Harry and me about the progress they are making to solve our case. It has nothing to do with taking you away from here. But on the other hand..."

Dempsey felt silence for a short moment of time.

"What do you want to say?" Michael asked between his sobs when Dempsey didn't continue.

"Now that I think about it. Maybe you can help us! Can you tell Spikings what you told me?"

"James? I can't" Michael begged now while the tears were still running over his face.

"You can't or you won't?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes there is"

"What's the difference then?" Michael asked softly.

Carefully Dempsey started to explain the difference between the words don't and won't. When he finished Michael could only look at him.

"I think I won't" Michael admitted finally nodding his head so that he didn't have to look at Dempsey's anymore.

"I understand that it would be very hard for you to tell everything that happened to a total stranger. But it's the only way to let Spikings know how much you are involved with everything. Even without knowing it before. I only wished that you had had to courage to tell me everything weeks ago"

"I'm sorry" Michael swallowed hard.

"He forget that I said that" Dempsey laid an arm around Michael's shoulders.

"Can you tell Spikings everything? Can you do that for me, Harry and Sophia, Sport?"

Dempsey saw Michael wrestling with himself if he had to make the biggest decision of his life so far.

"Will...will you stay with me then? I mean when I tell everything?"

"Sure. I won't leave you alone. Not even for a second" Dempsey assured him, squeezing his shoulder.

"Alright then. But I do it only for you, Harry and Sophia. I want to see the three of you to become happy"

"And what about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you want to be happy?" Dempsey asked holding a hand through Michael's hair knowing how much he hated that.

"I'm afraid I'll never be happy anymore"

Hearing Michael saying that Dempsey had to swallow hard to clear his throat from the big lump that laid inside of it. How could the little guy say that? With 6 he acted if his life had been over already! To distract himself and not to mention to Michael how his words had effected him, Dempsey put a little kiss at the top of Michael's head.

"Are you ready for it?"

"I think so" Michael's voice was still nothing more than a soft whisper. It was obvious that he found it very hard to talk about his past with someone he didn't know and even more didn't trust.

"Come on then"

Michael's hand slipped in Dempsey's when they both left the bed room.

"I... James?" Michael looked up to Dempsey: "I'm scared"

"I know Sport. I know. But there's nothing to be scared of. You just tell him what you have told me"

"But what if your boss don't believe me? Like everybody else did?"

"He will believe you" Dempsey assured.

When the two of them entered the living room they saw Spikings and Harry sitting next to each other. They didn't react if they hadn't hear that the two of them had entered the room.

"Boss?" Dempsey gave Michael's hand another squeeze just to encourage him. The little guy's whole composure told him that if it had been up to him he had preferred to run away as quickly as possible.

"Michael has to tell us something"

Both Harry and Spikings turned around now to look at where Dempsey and Michael were standing.

"So?" was all what Spikings answered when his gaze switched between Dempsey and the terrified kid next to him.

"What about?"

"Our case"

"You don't expect that I believe that this kid can help us to solve the case you two are involved in. When so I would say, ha, ha and laugh. Obvious you forgot that this is nothing more than a 6 year old boy with a criminal record. Lieutenant"

"I told you" Michael screamed in despair: "He won't believe me. What I'm saying I'll always be a criminal for everybody"

"You are not a criminal. I won't you never say that again"

Dempsey said firmly walking over to the chair to sit down.

"I know how it looks like Boss. But what if you let him talk first and judge him later?"

"Dempsey!" Harry warned him. She couldn't believe her ears when she heard him talk like this. For the first time she consider the fact that maybe Spikings had been right. That Dempsey indeed was too emotional involved with the whole case and that he didn't see things clearly anymore.

"I know how it looks Harry, but if you hear the whole story, I'm sure you'll be just as much convinced as I am"

"Convinced about what?" Harry asked a little suspicious.

"From his innocent"

Dempsey let go of Michael's hand suspecting that the little guy would take another seat next to him, but till the astonishment of the three adults in the room, Michael climbed on Dempsey's lap and laid his head against his shoulder. Dempsey was so surprised for a short moment of time that he didn't react. Dempsey had never suspected he would do that. But probably it was the only way for the little guy to feel save and that was all that counted.

"You are sitting comfortable now?" Dempsey asked, wrapping his arms around Michael's body to give him all the support he obvious needed.

Michael only nodded his head: "I'm still scared"

"Shall we do it the same way as we did before?" Dempsey tried to look Michael straight in the eyes but he avoid looking at Dempsey: "That I ask the questions and you just answer me"

"What ever"

Dempsey saw Spikings frown his eyebrows if the man couldn't believe what he was forced to watch.

"Okay. Let's go then. When Harry and I visited you last Thursday you said that you couldn't believe that you didn't have to do anything to get that present. Why did you say that?"

"Because they always forced me to do something before I could get anything"

"Who are they?"

"The people I lived with"

"Your parents?"

"No" Michael buried his head a little deeper against Dempsey's chest.

"Who then?"

"The people I lived with"

"Since when?"

"Don't know. I just was there. Have no idea how I came there. First they were all very kind to me, but then on my 5th birthday they told me that I was old enough now. I had no idea what they mean by that. But from that day on I always had to do things for them before..."

Michael became silence. If he was afraid to continue.

"Before what Michael?"

"When I refused to do what they told me to do I got nothing to eat or to drink" Michael answered softly.

From the corner of his eyes, Dempsey saw Harry shiver. When they exchanged a gaze, he saw how Harry looked back at him if she was in shock. Carefully Dempsey shook his head, hoping that Harry knew what he was trying to say with that.

"How often took that place?"

"Once in a week or so. First I didn't realise what they meant. But they locked me up in my bedroom and said that I had to stay there till I would cooperate"

"Cooperate to do what?"

"I felt so lonely. I had no idea where they were up to. I screamed and cried but nobody seemed to hear me. The first time I believe I stayed there for days"

"Without any food or something to drink?" Dempsey asked while wrapping his arms a little faster around Michael's body.

"Yeah. Then one morning someone unlocked the door. It was a woman. I had never seen her before. But she said to me that they wanted to talk to me. She guided me to the living room where three men were sitting. They were laughing and I remember that there were little bags laying on the table with some white powder in it. The woman pushed me down on a couch in front of the men. One of them asked me if I had changed my mind in the meantime. At that point I wanted to do anything to get something to eat, so I nodded my head. The woman brought me a plate with some sandwiches and a glass of milk. They smelt funny but I didn't pay any attention to it. But after an hour I started to feel sick. I don't know what happened"

But for Dempsey, Harry and Spikings it was totally clear what had happened back then. The three men in that room had waited till Michael had been so despaired for something to eat and to drink that they could do what they had planned probably for a long time already: ordering the woman to poison the food, the drink or even both. And from what Michael had just told them they even didn't have to guess with what. The answer was obvious: drugs. With only one thing in mind: making the little guy so dependent of the drugs that he should do everything they ordered him to do just to survive.


	93. Chapter 93

"Do you later find out who that woman was?" Dempsey asked, trying not to look at Harry or Spikings.

"They never mentioned her name when I was around. They always called her bitch or slut. It seems to me that she never did something good in the eyes of the three men. But she was there when you shoot me" Michael added: "I bet you know who she is!"

Dempsey didn't know where to look at that moment. When Michael had told him earlier about it, he had been able to hide his reaction on it for the little guy, but now with Harry and Spikings around he couldn't.

"Yeah, I know who she is" Dempsey admitted with great difficulties. When he closed his eyes he could still hear the woman's satisfied laughing in his ears the moment she was picked up and drove away in that car outside the SI10 building.

"What's her name?" Michael asked not realising in what state both Harry and Dempsey find themselves in at that point.

When Dempsey didn't answer him immediately, Michael repeated his question looking at Dempsey now.

"Lucia" Harry answered before Dempsey could say something.

With a surprised look on his face, Michael turned around on Dempsey's lap: "You know her as well? How?"

"Yeah, unfortunately I do know her. She was in the rehabilitation centre"

"What? Why? She was the only person who was nice to me back then!"

"Unfortunately she's not the nice person you thought she is Sport"

"What do you mean by that? She gave me always something to eat or to drink if I did what these men ordered me to do" Michael said not understanding why Dempsey obvious didn't share his opinion.

"And I bet you felt sick every time afterwards"

"Sometimes yeah, but..."

"And now? Do you still feel sick from time to time?" Harry asked.

"Not really. Not anymore since I went to that orphanage, but the first weeks in there I felt real strange"

"How strange?"

"Don't know. I was sweating like hell. Don't know why. But I feel much better now" Michael added with a big relieve in his voice if he was glad that these days laid far behind him now.

"I'm glad to hear that" was all Dempsey could come up with, hoping that Michael shouldn't ask more questions about that subject. But for the little guy the subject was finished. But that wasn't the case for the three adults in the room who had even more questions now than answers.

"What about that robbery you were involved in?" Spikings looked at Michael who immediately buried his head against Dempsey's chest again: "Were you forced to do that as well?"

"I..." Michael whispered in Dempsey's shirt.

"Well?" Spikings said: "You can tell me"

"But I'm sure you won't believe me" Michael whispered again.

"He what did I tell you earlier? He will believe you, but you have to tell us everything what happened. Without holding anything back. You came so far already" Dempsey tried to encourage the little guy by taking his chin in his hand.

"Look at me. Look at me" Dempsey repeated when Michael refused to look back.

Big blue eyes were resting at Dempsey's eyes now. Blue eyes in which laid so much sorrow and pain that Dempsey started to feel guilty that he had forced Michael to go through everything for a second time in just a couple of hours time. Wouldn't it have been better to tell Harry and especially Spikings the whole story by himself? But would Spikings believed him then? Probably the man had only said that he was too much involved in the case as he had done already so many times before. He couldn't blame him, but it wouldn't clear Michael's name and that was exactly what he wanted to do here.

"I know how hard this must be for you. But you had no choice back then. Nobody will never forced you to do something like that again. I promise you that"

In the back of his head Dempsey could heard Harry complaining about the fact that he was making another promises, but he just ignored it. He had no other choice and he was sure that for once Harry would understand that.

"Really?" Michael asked if he needed a confirmation first from Dempsey before he continued.

"Really" Dempsey lifted his hand up to give a little squeeze the guys cheek.

Biting his lip, Michael turned around to look at Harry now.

"James is right. You don't have to be afraid for that" Harry said giving him a little wink.

After Harry had said that, Dempsey's reaction was to give her a dazzling smile. Which didn't keep unnoticed by Spikings but the man just tried to ignore it. He just wanted to finish this interrogation as soon as possible.

"May I stay here then?" Michael asked, this time looking straight at Spikings.

"I will consider it" Spikings gave finally in trying to ignore the amused smile that crept over Dempsey's face seeing how uncomfortable Spikings started to feel with these big blue eyes resting on him now.

"Alright. That morning we all went up very early. I don't know what time it was but it was still dark outside. When I entered the living room Lucia sat on the couch with next to her another man I hadn't seen before. They were kissing and laughing. I just stood there not knowing what to do. Then the man reached his hand out to me and asked me to come closer. I didn't want that, but Lucia said that I could better do what I have been told. I didn't want to get locked up in my room for days again so with a little hesitation I approached him. I got the feeling that he was scanning me and finally he said that I was just perfect for the job. I had no idea where he was talking about. But after having breakfast the three of us drove away by car to a big building here in the city. Lucia gave me a little piece of paper with some words written on it"

"Words?" Spikings took his little notebook out of his pocket and a pen. Reading the file about this case nobody had mentioned that there has been a little piece of paper involved.

"Yeah. They said that I had to learn these words from outside so I could produce them when we were inside the building"

When Michael felt silence, Spikings started to become a little impatient: "What were these words? Come on. You must remember them!"

"I couldn't read them" Michael answered with a small voice.

"Great! A bank robbery and a bank robber who has no idea what he must say!"

"He boss" Dempsey started to get angry and to defend Michael: "You can't expect from a 5 year old boy that he knew what he was doing and what was going on!"

"Indeed not from a 5 year old boy. But from Lucia and god who knows who that man was, I expect that they knew exactly what they were doing!" Spikings exasperated.

"When I told them that I couldn't read the words, they forced me to go inside and just handle the paper over to someone behind one of the desks" Michael said biting his lip again if he could burn out in tears every moment.

"You see. It was all planned" Spikings pointed his finger in Michael's direction: "You could have refuse to do that"

"I didn't want to be locked up again in my room for days without food or something to drink and besides they...they said that..." Michael said with a despaired voice, turning his head to look at Dempsey again who gave him an encouraged squeeze in his hand.

"They said that they didn't want anything to do with me anymore if I refused"

Astound Harry and Spikings stared back at Michael. Harry couldn't avoid that a horrible sound escaped from her mouth. This couldn't be true! She felt so sorry for Michael. What had this little fellow been forced to go through this last year of his life? It was even worse as they had expected. She was so glad now that Dempsey had paid so much attention to him these last few weeks. She whished that she should have done the same.

"So you had no other choice then to follow orders?" Dempsey said with a voice he hardly recognised as his own. It was if he saw himself standing in the jungle of Vietnam. Not wanting to follow orders but not having a choice either.

"I had no place to go, I didn't know what to do!" A single tear was running over Michael's cheek now. Carefully wiped away by Dempsey's thumb.

"It wasn't your fault" Dempsey whispered softly in Michael's hair. When Harry heard him saying these words she knew that on that moment probably Dempsey realised for the first time why she and Joyce had used these words earlier. Back then it hadn't been his fault either. He had been forced as much to shoot that boy in Vietnam as much as Michael had been ordered to enter that building with that piece of paper. They had both just followed orders if they had liked it or not without realising what the consequences should be. Maybe that was the reason why Dempsey had instantly felt this big responsibility opposite Michael when he shot him. They had more in command without realising it!


	94. Chapter 94

Harry just wanted to say something when the phone started to ring. Picking up her stick from the ground she walked over to the other side of the room. It was Chas asking if Spikings was still there.

"It's for you Sir" Harry said, handling the receiver over to Spikings.

With Spikings now on the phone, Dempsey lifted Michael up in his arms and sat down next to Harry on the sofa.

"You are doing great" Harry said, laying a hand on Michael's leg.

"You think so?" Michael answered looking up at Harry.

"Why didn't you tell James before about all this?"

"I couldn't"

"We can imagine that, but you knew James was a cop. You must have known that your story would be safe by him"

"I didn't know he was a cop"

"What?" Harry's head switched from Michael to Dempsey and then back to Michael.

"I told you. I didn't identify myself as a cop when I stormed into that building and shot this little guy here down" Dempsey answered, holding his hand through Michael's hair. Till Dempsey's amazement this time Michael let him doing that without pushing his hand away. Obvious he started to like the gesture.

"But later. Someone must have told you later who James was?"

"They did. But I was scared. Everybody condemned me about what I had done. How should I know that he wouldn't react the same?"

"Oh Sport. You have made it so difficult for yourself. You should have trust me. You trust me now. Why not back then?"

"I don't know"

It sounded so hopeless that both Dempsey and Harry had to swallow hard to try to hold their emotions under control. This was not the time or the place to show Michael how they both feel deep down inside. But the secret look the two adults shared, said everything.

On that moment Spikings returned with a worried look on his face.

"I need to go back at the office" he announced, picking his notebook up from the table.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"McAllister. He has been located in one of the buildings near the docks"

"McAllister?" Michael said loud and clear with a wondering tone in his voice which made the adults turning around to look at him in surprise.

"He was there in that building when you shot me" Michael pointed his finger on Dempsey: "And he was also there during that bank robbery"

"Are you sure?" Dempsey asked. Knowing already that Michael would never lie about that: "But what about the security tapes of that bank? McAllister must have been seen on one of them if it was him!"

"I don't think so" Spikings answered, sitting down again.

"Why not?"

"Because he was wearing a mask" Michael announced: "And so did Lucia"

"They planned it even more carefully as I suspected" Spikings couldn't do anything else than to admit that.

"But you Sport? What about you?"

"They pushed me inside the bank after they had given me some instructions. I walked over to a woman behind one of the desks and handled her my little note. The woman laughed at me after she had read the words and said to me: "_Are you not a little too young to rob a bank_" but before she could do or say something else Lucia and McAllister stormed inside wearing those masks. I just stood there when they pointed their guns on two people yelling that they wanted money. I was paralyzed. It happened so fast. Then they grabbed my arm and we went outside where they pushed me back into the car and drove away. I started to cry, but all Lucia did was to yell at me that I must be quiet. When we came home they locked me up in my room again. I had no idea why. I thought I did something wrong, that they were mad at me. But the next day Lucia did if nothing had happen and that same evening we went to that house where the two of them started that argument. Well I think you know the rest already"

"There's one thing that's still not clear to me" Spikings forced Michael to look at him.

"Why did you shoot Dempsey? Or was that also an order from McAllister or Lucia?"

When Michael nodded his head, Dempsey felt a cold shiver running down his back.

"There was another man in that building as well"

"What?" Dempsey exasperated. He couldn't believe his ears. Had he been right about his suspicions after all? Had it been a set up?

"But I went through that whole building and I'm sure there was nobody else. Except from McAllister and Lucia. Honestly not" he added when he saw the look on Spikings and especially Harry's face if he had been lying all the time about that.

"That man was with me in the bedroom" Michael carefully laid a hand on Dempsey's arm: "When you stormed in I heard him saying: "_Finally_". I don't know what that meant. Then he pushed that gun into my hand. I was so scared, I had never seen a gun before in my life. He said the gun was loaded and when you should appear that I just have to pull the trigger. Remembering what they had done to me earlier when I refused I thought it would be wiser not to argue with that man anymore. I started to shake when you appear. I remember I closed my eyes and fired. And missed. But you didn't. Before I knew it I laid on the floor and all I could feel was that terrible pain in my body and the thought that I blew it and that I had no idea what should happen to me now. I was sure that they didn't want me around them anymore. When you knelt next to me and hold my hand, I thought I reached heaven. I wanted to comfort you, telling you that you don't have to worried about me. That everything's gonna be fine with me, but I couldn't. I felt so scared and guilty. You looked so concerned if you indeed regretted it what you had done"

Clearing his throat from the big lump that was lying inside of it, Dempsey tried to say something but failed. Helpless he looked at Harry but she was struggling with her own emotions so unable to help him out this time. And when Dempsey at last sat his hope on Spikings and the man just turned his head away he knew that even their professional boss had difficulties to deal with what he had just heard.

"Harry?" When Dempsey finally got his voice back it was nothing more than a soft whisper: "Can you get me that photo I found during the weekend at Winfield Hall for me? It's in my bag in the bedroom. I have to check something out. If you don't mind of course?"

Harry knew exactly where he was referring to. The fact that Charles had raped her. She wasn't happy about the prospect that she needed to tell Spikings what had happened in the past, but she knew also that Dempsey would never asked her to get that photo if it wasn't necessary. They needed some answers and if that photo should be the only way to get them, she had to live with the fact that her secret wouldn't be a secret anymore.

Dempsey saw the hesitation in Harry's composure. He hated what he had asked her to go to the bed room to pick up the photo, but there was no other way anymore. He had to know if it had been Charles who had forced Michael to shoot at him. If it indeed had all been a set up or not.

3 minutes later Harry was back with the photo in her hand which she handed over to Dempsey.

"Thanks" was all he said.

"Michael? Listen to me. I want you to look at this photo and to tell me if you recognised the two people standing on it. If not. No problem. We won't be mad at you or judge you. The only thing I asked from you is to be completely honest with us. Okay?"

"Okay"

Only the fact that Dempsey had said that he wouldn't be mad at him if he wasn't able to help, made Michael do his extra best.

Slowly Dempsey turned the photo around.

As soon as Michael saw the photo he started to shiver.

"That's Lucia and that's the man who was with me in the bedroom. The man who gave me that gun to shoot at you"

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yeah"

When Spikings saw how both Harry and Dempsey reacted on what Michael had just said, he stretched his hand out to the photo to give it a look himself.

"You told me earlier that this man's name was...?" Spikings rubbed his hand over his head.

"Charles" Harry said, knowing that it wouldn't take long before she had to tell Spikings where she know him from and what had happened more than 2 years ago.

"Charles?" Spikings repeated.

"Yes Charles. He worked for my father at Winfield Hall"

But when Spikings still didn't react only looked at the photo if he couldn't believe his eyes Harry started to feel a little worried. This was nothing for their boss to act like this. Not saying a word and only staring at a photo in front of him.

"Are you alright Sir?" Harry asked.

Dempsey who was still consuming everything he had just heard and hadn't pay any attention on the reaction of Spikings when Harry had mentioned Charles name, now also started to get worried. Their boss seemed to be miles away with his thoughts.

"Is there something wrong Chief?" Dempsey asked carefully. Even Michael seemed to realise how the atmosphere had changed in a couple of minutes time.

They both saw him picking up the photos Harry had found earlier that afternoon from the table.

"Did your General ever mention to you that he had a son?"

"A son? No, we didn't get along very much" And this was just an understatement of the year, Dempsey thought: "Why?"

"Because... I recognise the man on this photo as well. I only know this man by the name of Benjamin and not Charles. I told Harry earlier that the owner of this safe house died 4 weeks ago after having a stroke and that this man has been an old friend of mine. His name was Rafe O'Brien. Yes Dempsey. It's the same O'Brien as your former General in Vietnam! Charles or Benjamin is his son!"


	95. Chapter 95

If someone had placed a bomb in the room, the effect would have been the same. Both Harry and Dempsey were completely speechless. They had even more questions now, but unfortunately Spikings had no time to answer them at that moment.

"I really have to go now. I'll inform you two later" he said, while standing up.

When he reached the door way to turn around: "And for you little fellow...you can stay"

Then he walked away before Michael or the two adults could react.

"I can stay!" Michael jumped up and down on Dempsey's lap with excitement: "Can I tell Sophia that? Where is she?" he added if he just on that moment realised that he hadn't seen her for awhile.

"Outside in the garden" Harry managed to say with her mind somewhere else.

Michael slipped from Dempsey's lap and run outside closing the glass door to the patio behind him.

"I'm glad he stays" Harry said softly not knowing what else to say at that moment.

"Yeah"

With raised eyebrows Harry looked at Dempsey who had picked up the photo from the table.

"What?" Harry asked.

"I felt so stupid that I have never seen that Charles, Benjamin" he corrected himself: "Is Rafe O'Brien's son"

"You don't have to feel guilty about that. How should you have known?"

"I cached him in the act when he was dealing drugs at Winfield Hall. I told you that. I must have seen the likeness between him and my General!" Dempsey exasperated in pure frustration: "If I had seen it back then I should have spared us a lot of trouble!"

"And what had you done then? Just busted him?"

"Yeah"

"And he would have been free in no time. Probably being even more angry at you as he had been before" Harry carefully laid a hand on Dempsey's arm.

"I know what you are trying to do Harry, but don't"

Dempsey pushed Harry's hand away and stood up from the sofa.

"Oh and what I'm trying to do in your opinion?"

"Trying not to make it as worse at it is"

For a short moment of time, Harry had no idea what to say. How could Dempsey say that?

"Worse? You are talking about not making it worse? Can't there be something even worse? Don't you forget here something? That man raped me! He forced me to go to bed with him when I was pregnant with our children. Do you perhaps think I'm defending him for what he had done to me...to us?" Harry said started to become real angry now.

"No of course not"

"Then stop talking like that. Why is, was he after us in the first place?"

"How the hell do I know?" Dempsey throw the photo back on the coffee table: "You hear that Benjamin had whispered "_finally_" to Michael when he saw that I showed up in that house. I wished I knew what he meant by that. Why he hated me obvious so much that he wished me dead. And don't tell me that it was only because he thought he was in love with you. There must be something else. It must be"

"I think only Benjamin himself can give us the answer on that"

"I'm afraid you are right. But what if we never catch him? Do we have to look over our shoulder then forever to see if we are in danger?" Dempsey asked a little helpless: "I had to do that every day when Coltrane put that contract on me. I'm not able to do that a second time anymore Harry. I just want to have a peaceful life from now on with you, Sophia and maybe Michael. Is that too much to ask?"

Hearing Dempsey saying that, Harry realised that even for him enough had been enough so she stood up from the sofa to stay next to Dempsey who was standing now at the glass door looking at Sophia and Michael who were playing outside in the garden. She wrapped her right arm around Dempsey's waist.

"You know, that's what I also want the most. But that wouldn't happen. Not before Spikings and the others have solved this case. It doesn't lay in our hands anymore. We can discuss it over and over again and there's nothing wrong with that, but there's one thing I don't want anymore and that is that this case comes between us. Let's enjoy our stay here together with the kids and let the rest over to our colleagues. Can you do that?" Harry looked Dempsey straight in the eyes now.

She saw the despair laying in them. Carefully Harry dropped her stick to the ground and lifted her hand up to his cheek. Immediately Dempsey's arm slipped around her shoulders to steady her. He even didn't notice he did it.

"I don't know if I can stay here any longer Harry. Knowing now that this house..."

Harry put a finger to his lips to stop him from continuing.

"I know it must be hard for you, but do it then for me and for the kids. We really love it here"

Harry saw Dempsey's eyes switching between her face to the kids in the garden and back to her.

"Alright then. You know I'll do everything for you Harry" he whispered softly banding his head to kiss her. Dempsey had no intention to go further than just a little kiss but when Harry opened her mouth and his tongue slipped inside, it turned out to be much more. They were both gasping for breath when he finally hold back.

"I have to stop Harry. I... " Dempsey stuttered.

"I know" Harry whispered, with a glowing cheek.

"I think I can better see what our kids are doing"

A little smile crept over Harry's face when she saw Dempsey opening the glass door and disappearing trough it. It seemed if he was running away. She couldn't blame him. If he hadn't stopped the kiss they had probably ended lying together on the floor of the living room making love. And with two little kids just on hearing and watching distance that wouldn't have been a wise idea. Besides: she still wasn't covered. And as long as they would have been forced to stay here, they wouldn't been able to make an appointment with that doctor near Winfield Hall to change that either.


	96. Chapter 96

It was around half past 7 that evening when Harry and Dempsey finally had some time to talk to each other again. The whole afternoon they had spent their time with the kids. Dempsey had played some football with them and later, when it started to rain, they went inside to play some games Harry had found in one of the other bookcases in the living room. Later they had made some dinner and enjoyed a wonderful dinner. Just the four of them as every normal family. After that Dempsey had put the kids under the shower and brought them to bed. Together they sat down in the bedroom where he had told Sophia and Michael a bedtime story.

"Do you want some coffee?" Dempsey asked Harry when he closed the bedroom door behind him.

"That would be great" Harry answered, following him to the kitchen to sit down at the kitchen table to watch him when he took two cups out of the cupboard and switched the coffee machine on.

"Isn't it curious we didn't hear from Spikings since he left us earlier today?" Dempsey sat down in front of Harry at the kitchen table.

"Maybe he doesn't have any news for us so far or maybe..." When Harry didn't continue Dempsey repeated: "Maybe what?"

"Maybe he allowed us to have some time together with the children"

"Come on Harry. You don't believe that yourself"

"Why not? We hardly have some time together since you came back to London. Except from the weekends we spent in your apartment"

"Which were great!"

Harry knew exactly were he was referring on and only thinking on that made her blush tremendously. To distract him from the subject, which was too embarrassing for her, Harry started to ask another question.

"What do we do when the case has been solved? Will you move in with me and Sophia or what?"

Biting his lip Dempsey tried not to laugh. He knew exactly what she was doing and even more why she was doing it.

"Move in with you?" he asked as innocent as possible.

"Yes. We have never discussed that part yet"

"I wanted to discuss it, but you won't" Dempsey brought the subject back into Harry's memory: "I always got the impression that you preferred not to think about it. That you just wanted to see what would happen. That in fact you didn't care"

Harry nodded her head. That was true. She remembered what the doctor in the rehabilitation centre had said to her during that last visit. That she got the impression that she left everything over to Dempsey to decide where she would stay after her release or that she would have time enough to think about it. But now that release had taken place a little earlier as expected and there wasn't time left anymore to think about it.

"I..." Harry clinched her hands together. Knowing that he had seen trough her.

"He, what would you say when you and Sophia and maybe even Michael, move in with me first for the first couple of weeks? To see how it will go? Not only with your health but more if we are able to live together at all. We had never lived properly together before. Maybe we even got to each others throats when we are forced to see each other on a day by day basis"

Especially the last words had to come out as a joke, but for Harry it was if a nightmare became reality.

"Do you think we couldn't live together as every normal couple?" she asked with a small voice not looking at Dempsey.

"He I didn't mean that seriously" Damn, he had used the wrong words again. He knew how sensitive she was these days and how she hated the fact that she was completely dependent on him. She forced herself to do things she wasn't capable to. And how she tried to hide the fact for him that she was in a lot of pain afterwards. He had noticed it more than once. It was very brave of her not to say anything, but a real stupid thing to do. He was there for her. But probably he should have done the same as he would have been in her position.

"Harry?" Dempsey took Harry's two hands in his: "I can't guarantee you that it would be all a bed of roses, you know that, but at least we can give it a try. See if it works"

"You see, you also have some doubts about it. What if we'll never been able to live together? Were would that happy family life then be you talked about earlier?" Harry forced herself to look at Dempsey now.

By doing that she had expected to see some hesitation in his eyes, but to her surprise she couldn't find anything at all in them. Unlike that she saw only love and devotion in his eyes.

"It will work" he said firmly: "Remember we waited more than 2 years before we could make it happen? We are totally different persons now in proportion with the ones we were back then. Probably when we tried to lived together 2 years ago, it would have turned out wrong, but we both grow in the meantime. These last weeks have been a real nightmare for me. Even been harder than the two lonely years I have spend in New York on my own. I know I can be a real bastard from time to time, but I'll do all my best to change that. And if I do or say something you don't like anyway, I know you hate that word but... will you please promise me to tell me that then?"

With tears brimming in her eyes, Harry had listen to the words Dempsey had said to her. He wanted to change. Only for her. She never believed she would hear him saying that.

"You don't have to change" Harry answered softly: "Just to be with me would be enough for me"

When Dempsey's thumb started to caressing Harry's cheek, she laid her head against his hand.

"I love you" Dempsey said when his finger followed Harry's cheekbone to her mouth. Harry didn't move. Would he kiss her again? And if so would they been able to stop him this time or would they go further than earlier this afternoon? If so, then they would really have a problem. But just at the moment Harry thought that Dempsey indeed should kiss her, the bell at the front door ring.

"You can safely say: saved by the bell this time" Dempsey whispered softly only inches away from Harry's mouth. For a short moment of time he leant his forehead against Harry's when a second ring cut through the hallway.

"I think it will be wiser to open up the front door before the kids wake up"

"I think so" Harry answered a little disappointed. In silence crucifying the person who was standing at the front door and who had interrupted this intimate moment between her and Dempsey. She saw him taking his gun out of his holster before he walked to the front door. A soft breeze blow to the hall way when Dempsey opened the door. On the doorstep stood a man with his back to the door.

"Can I help you?" Dempsey asked.

"Jesus, you scare me to dead" the man said when he turned around and saw the gun pointed at him now.

"Who are you?" Dempsey asked again ignoring the words the man had said to him.

"I come for Harriet Makepeace. They told me when I phoned the SI10 office that I could find her here. Is she around?"

Harry who had sit in the kitchen till then, slowly approached the hallway with an astound look on her face.

"Robert? What are you doing here?" she said if she couldn't believe who was standing in the doorway of their safe house.

"Robert? Your ex?" Dempsey repeated looking from Robert to Harry and back to Robert. Now recognising the man from seeing him briefly before at the rehabilitation centre.

"May I come in? There's something I need to discuss with you"

"Now? On this hour of the day you come here to discuss something with me? What about?"

"Our divorce"

A little uncomfortable Dempsey let Robert passed and closed the door behind him. Harry in the meantime had made her way to the living room leaning heavily on her stick. Every time when something emotional happened it seemed if her leg and foot became more painful than usual. What was so important that Robert had to show up here? she thought.

"I see, you're still not able to walk. How long do you think you can maintain to do that?" Robert said, pointing his finger at Harry's right leg.

From the corner of her eyes, Harry saw what kind of reaction these words had on Dempsey. Before she could say something or to hold him back, Dempsey had clinched his fists around Robert's sleeves of his suit.

"Say that again wise guy!" Dempsey blow the words into Robert's face pushing him against the wall.

"He. You know as much as I do that she's just pretending!"

"Dempsey!" Harry warned him, hoping that only the sound of her voice would cool him down, but unfortunately she had no luck this time.

"Mind your own business Harry. This is something between your ex husband and me!" Dempsey answered with a furious voice and between gritted teeth's.

But Harry had no intention not to interfere between the two men. She understood why Dempsey was angry, but if he continued the way he was behaving right now it could only got worse. With all the power she had in her left hand, she grabbed Dempsey's right arm hoping that he would let Robert go.

"James! Stop it!" she begged.

"You let him accused you from pretending you are not able to walk? I don't believe this" Dempsey said astound, trying to push Harry's hand away from his arm. Seeing that the other man lost his concentration on him, because he was more focused on Harry now, Robert was able to free himself out of Dempsey's grip. But by doing that, he also had to push Harry aside. Not being prepared for Robert's action, Harry tried to keep her balance, but failed. Before she realised it, she tumbled down to the floor giving out a cry of pain.

"You see it for yourself now" was all Robert said, paying no attention to Harry anymore and walking to the sofa to sit down.

Dempsey immediately knelt next to Harry. His voice sounded worried when he said: "Sweetheart. Are you alright?"

"I don't know"

"Oh why not? Do if she can't stay up anymore" It was obvious that Robert still couldn't believe that what had happened to Harry was real and not some kind of joke.

"Are you really been married to this guy?" To Dempsey it was if the man sitting on the sofa had no feelings at all and certainly not for Harry.

"Yes" Harry managed to say, rubbing over her right foot in the meantime.

"Give me your hand"

Carefully Harry took Dempsey's outstretched hand in hers and with his arm around her waist, Harry finally was able to stand on her feet again.

"It hurts" Harry's right ankle was burning like hell now. With a lot of difficulties she limped to the chair to sit down.

"Don't move" she heard Dempsey saying: "I see if I can find some ice for that foot of yours"

As soon as Dempsey disappeared in the kitchen, Robert started again.

"You have worked it out very well haven't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where's the independent woman I have seen so many years during our marriage? What did you do to let Dempsey eat out of your hand?"

"He's not eating out of my hand. He cares about me and that's more than you have ever done!" So Harry thought, I finally managed to say what I wanted to say for such a long time already.

"Come on Harriet. One look from you at him and he's melting"

"So what? And it's Harry now by the way"

"I'm wondering what your father thinks of him. Or did you never introduce him to your old man?"

"That's none of your business" Dempsey answered returning at that moment from the kitchen and carrying a plastic bag with some ice in it. He took Harry's right leg in his hand to take her tennis shoe and sock off. Then he laid her leg on the sofa and the ice pack on her foot.

"Is that better?" he asked, still a little worried.

"Yes. Thanks. It feels wonderful" The thankful look on Harry's face said enough which didn't keep unnoticed by Robert, but this time he didn't react. He only started to spread some papers out of the coffee table.

"Can you tell us now what was so important that you decided to annoy us here and that obvious couldn't wait till we would back home?" Dempsey asked meanwhile taking a chair next to Harry and taking her right hand in his.

"It's about the divorce"

"You already said that"

"There's something we had to discuss"

"You had said that too already" Real lawyers talk, Dempsey thought, never been straight to the point.

"I have to discuss this with Harry not with you so if you don't mind..."

A little smile crept over Dempsey's face. If Robert thought that he would leave the room, he really underestimated him.

"I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you to be alone with her. So you can tell it right now or leave"

"Harriet? You can't expect that I'll discuss details about our divorce with this..." Robert felt silence for a moment if he had to search for the right word.

"Well?" Amused Dempsey waited till Robert continued.

"This Yank!" Robert finally answered with a face that said everything.

"That Yank as you pronounced it so loveless is nobody else than the father of my daughter" Harry announced firmly and feeling very proud at the same time.

But for Robert it was if he was forced to be a part of a bad movie. The shocked face of him said it all.

"You can't be serious. Harriet! You have a child with this Yank without not even been married to him!"

"Yes I have. Sophia is almost 2 now"

"Two years old? But I thought you were in New York all the time?" Robert turned his head to Dempsey.

"I was" There was no reason for Dempsey to deny that. Sooner or later Robert would find out anyway.

"Speaking about irresponsibility here"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Harry felt Dempsey's hand clinching even faster around her hand. She knew that he started to become real angry again and she couldn't blame him. And that it wouldn't take long if he would exploded if Robert had plans to push it even further. She even started to become angry herself. Why had she ever married this guy? Hadn't her father warned her for him that he would only married her for her money? How could see have been so blind during all these years? Her father had been so right. And not only about that...

"Will you come to the point. We have had a hard day lying behind us. We want to go to bed"

"To make more babies?" It sounded so sarcastically that this time Dempsey couldn't hold himself back anymore.

"Listen. I didn't let you in to let us insulted like this. Or you say what you have to say or I want you to leave right now. It's up to you"

At that point Robert finally seemed to realise that he had pushed it a little too far this time.

"Okay. I'm sorry for what I said. That wasn't fair"

"Okay. Apologise accepted" It was Harry this time who had said these words. She so desperately wanted to go to bed or at least to lay down. If they didn't accept Robert's apologises it would take hours before that would happen.

"The point is: since you have signed the divorce papers some time has passed. I thought you should have made some arrangements in the meantime, but when I drove along Camberwell Grove yesterday I saw no arrangements at all"

"Arrangements? What kind of arrangements? Where are you talking about? I haven't been there for 14 weeks!" Where the hell was Robert talking about? Harry and Dempsey secretly shared a look in total disbelieve.

"Arrangements of selling the house. What else did you thought I was talking about?"

"Selling the house?" It was if Robert had hit Harry literarily in her face: "What do you mean?" she added softly. Squeezing Dempsey's hands so firmly that he needed all his strength not to scream.

"Yeah. Or did you perhaps forget that we bought that house together when we got married? That half of that house is still mine? I need the money Harriet. I want to go further with my life and I think you want the same. I leave the papers here. I need your answer in a week time"

After he had said that, Robert stood up from the sofa: "Black on white. I know the way out" He added when Dempsey wanted to stay up to guide him to the front door if he wanted to see it himself that the other man had left the house.

Without looking at Dempsey or Harry anymore Robert left the living room. A second later they heard the front door slammed.

"He can't do this to me. Can he?" Harry asked with a shaky voice. Still not totally aware what she just had forced to hear. With tears in her eyes she looked at Dempsey who immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders trying to comfort her.

"Princess, I don't know if he can do that or not. He's a lawyer I'm afraid he knows more about the subject than we do. But if you want to keep that house, we'll find a way. Don't worry"

"But what if I will never be able to climb the stairs there anymore in a proper way? Then I would never been able to live there even if I wanted it so badly"

Dempsey took Harry's skin in his left hand looking her straight in the eyes now and wiping a single tear from her cheek that started to roll down with the thumb of his other hand.

"Do you remember what you said to me earlier this evening? That as long as we be together it wouldn't mind where we were living? I won't push you, believe me, but consider the fact to sell your property and to move in with me in my apartment. We can always search for another place of our own in the future without any steps if you would still have problems with climbing a stair. I can't tell you what to do, only try to give you some advise and to be there for you to help you to make a decision. But for now I think we have been through enough for today. Let's go to bed"

More than an hour later, Dempsey switched the light off at his side of the bed. He had checked Sophia and Michael in their bedroom first but they were both fast asleep.

"Goodnight Princess" Dempsey whispered in Harry's ear holding her tight against his body.

"Goodnight James" She whispered back, leaning with her head against his chest and her arm around his waist. There was a lot to think about but they were both so exhausted about everything that had happened that day that before they realised it they were as fast asleep as Sophia and Michael.


	97. Chapter 97

It was around 7 the next morning when Harry woke up from a sound that she couldn't interpret first. It was if someone tried to open the door of the bedroom but failed to do that. Carefully she bend over to Dempsey who was still fast a sleep.

"James" Harry whispered.

"What's the matter?" He answered turning around to look at Harry.

"I don't know. There's someone at the door" Harry flustered softly.

Then all of a sudden a loud sound could be heard in the corridor followed by some crying.

"Sophia" both Harry and Dempsey said simultaneous. But before Harry could react, Dempsey had pushed the duvet away and jumped out of the bed. After putting his robe on he opened the door and saw his daughter sitting on the floor of the corridor with her Teddy Bear in her arms.

"Daddy!" the little girl said stretching her arms out to him.

"What are you doing?" Dempsey asked worried kneeling next to his daughter.

"I felt. You must come"

"Come?"

"To Michael"

"Michael?"

"He's crying. I don't know why" the girl answered with a frown on her little face: "Quickly"

"Daddy will go" he assured the girl before lifting her up from the ground and carrying her inside the bedroom where he sat her down on the bed.

"You stay here with Mummy" Dempsey ordered putting a kiss on Sophia's head.

"James? Last time..." Harry started but Dempsey had left the bedroom already. Surprised Harry saw him leaving. The last time when she wanted that Dempsey brought Sophia to their bedroom in Winfield Hall, he had told her that he didn't want to make a habit of it and it had ended in another argument between the two of them. And now this. He had obvious changed his opinion about it. She hadn't had much time to think about it because Sophia crept next to her under the duvet, leaning against her.

"Why is Michael crying Mummy?"

"I don't know Sweetie. Why didn't you wake or call for us earlier?"

"Because I tried to comfort him, but..." Sophia said a little hesitated.

"But what?" Harry asked when Sophia didn't continue.

"I crept next to him in bed but he didn't want me to do that"

"Oh Sweetheart. That's very sweet of you but I'm afraid that where Michael is wrestling with is too heavy for you to comfort him with" Tears welled up in Harry's eyes when she imagined how Sophia had slipped out of her bed and tried to be there for Michael.

"Daddy knows what to do about it" At least I hope so, Harry thought in silence.

When Dempsey entered the bedroom of the two children, Michael laid on his left side with his face to the wall cuddled up with his knees almost against his nose. Carefully he approached the bed after he had closed the door behind him.

"He Sport"

"Go away. Leave me alone"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing"

Dempsey looked down at the little figure on the bed and first he had no idea what to do or to say. It was obvious that Michael didn't want him to be there. That Sophia had wake him and Harry up was probably something he didn't like either.

"When there's nothing wrong, why are you crying then?" Dempsey tried.

"I'm not crying"

Taking a seat on the chair next to the bed, Dempsey hoped that after a while Michael should realise that he had no intention to leave and would open up a little bit more. And indeed, after a silence which almost became unbearable, Michael turned around to look up at him. Tears were still streaming over his face when he opened his hands in which he hold a brown box.

"What's this?"

"I...I remembered that I had that box in my bag when they put me in that orphanage" Michael said, sitting up and putting the box in Dempsey's hand.

"I haven't watched it, but in the middle of the night I remembered it" With big blue eyes he looked Dempsey straight in his now.

When Michael didn't continue only looked down on the box Dempsey said: "You want me to open it?"

Michael shook his head and with a soft voice he said: "I think the answer lays in here"

"Answer?" Dempsey asked surprised: "Answer on what?"

"My past"

Not knowing what to expect Dempsey turned the box around in his hands before he opened it. On the bottom laid some papers and a golden bracelet. Carefully he picked the bracelet out of the box to give it a closer look "_Michael Benjamin" _had been engraved on it.

"I think that's my full name" Michael whispered.

"Can be" was all Dempsey could come up with putting the bracelet aside and picking some papers out of the box. When he spread them out on the bed he got even more confused.

"When I asked in the orphanage about your back round they could tell me anything! Did you never tell them that you had these papers and bracelet?"

"I forgot" Michael started to cry again: "I guess I was so confused after everything that happened to me in a short time that I blocked it out of my memory. Are you mad at me now?"

Dempsey wrapped his arm around Michael's shoulders.

"No of course not. Why do you think that?"

"Because everybody is always mad at me when I do something that they don't like" Michael said leaning heavily against Dempsey's chest now.

"Michael. I want you to look at me. Look at me" Dempsey repeated when Michael didn't react.

When Michael's blue eyes finally managed to meet Dempsey's eyes again, Dempsey saw fear lying in them.

"Kids make mistakes. That's normal. Sometimes they do things parents or other people don't like and then they get punished for them, but this is something totally different. You hide your past because you were scared. You said it yourself: you blocked it out of your memory just to protect yourself. To not to be hurt again. That's not a reason to be mad at you"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. I'll have to give these papers a better look, but I'm sure we'll find out more about your past now"

"But what if it turns out to be an evil past?"

"Even then it's not your fault"

"But then I'm sure, you won't have me around anymore!"

With despair he looked at Dempsey now.

"I'll never let you down. You know that"

Dempsey wrapped his arm a little faster around Michael's shoulder. He felt the tears still streaming around Michael's cheeks when he hugged him.

"I promise you that I'll do everything I can to give you a better life from now on"

"Promises" Michael said with a half smile between his tears.

"Oh great. You don't believe me either when I say that word. You have listen too much to Harry I'm afraid"

"Maybe"

"Well little fellow. It doesn't matter. As long as you believe me. And you do that, don't you?"

"Yes"

"That's all I ask from you now. Come on, let's see if the girls are still awake"

Michael slipped from the bed and waited till Dempsey had put the papers and bracelet back in the box. With in one hand the box and with his other hand resting in Michael's they both left the bedroom. Hand in hand they walked to the master bedroom where they found two ladies sleeping peacefully in each others arms.


	98. Chapter 98

Harry yawned and opened her eyes when she saw Michael entering the bedroom followed by Dempsey.

"He finally there are the boys" Harry said with a laugh. She looked down at Sophia who leaned against her and was still sleeping.

"What took you two so long?"

But at the moment she saw the big frown on Dempsey's forehead and the silent hint of him not to ask more, she immediately started to get worried. "What?" she mouthed. "Not now" Dempsey said in silence back: "Later". What the hell was going on her? Wondered she watched him putting a brown box on the bedside table. What was that? And how did he get it? Did Michael give it to him? But why? And what was inside?

"I think we better try to get some sleep as well"

Dempsey opened the duvet and let Michael climb into the bed first then he slipped next to him. Michael cuddled up to Dempsey if he would never let him go again.

"What's this all about?" Harry whispered softly in Dempsey's ear.

"Can't tell you now" Dempsey whispered back putting a kiss on Harry's cheek before he closed his eyes.

Unbelievable, was all what Harry thought: he just did it again! He just walked inside, after he had had that conversation with Michael, and just left her in the dark! How could he do that? Wasn't it important enough to tell her what happened? Frustrated Harry turned, put an arm around Sophia and tried to get some sleep but without any luck. But Dempsey couldn't sleep either. Half an hour went by in which the two adults both pretended to be asleep. Till Dempsey finally opened his eyes and said: "This is ridiculous"

On what Harry answered: "You tell me. The only two who are fast asleep in here are the kids"

"Let them sleep, we go to the living room. I need to talk to you"

Carefully the two adults freed themselves out of the embrace of the kids, put their robes on and walked to the living room. Dempsey carried the brown box which he carefully put on the table in front of them before he sat down.

"Michael remembered something"

"This box" Harry guessed when Dempsey didn't continue only turned the box round and round in his hand as he had done before.

"Yes. What's inside has something to do with his past. I gave the contents a quick look and too be honest: it had given me the creeps"

"You?" Harry said surprised. If it had given him the creeps it must have been something very shocking.

"See for yourself"

Dempsey opened the box and handed Harry the bracelet. When she read the name, that was written on it, she started to shiver.

"I see, you think the same as I did" Dempsey said when he had observed the reaction of Harry on the bracelet.

"That Michael is related to Benjamin? Come on. Isn't this just a coincidence that Michael's second name is Benjamin?"

Harry saw Dempsey biting his lip: "I don't think so. I guess that it wasn't before Spikings mentioned Benjamin's name that Michael started to remember that he had seen that name on something before. Indeed on that bracelet you have in your hands right now. And then there is this"

Dempsey's hand ducked into the box again to come out with a piece of paper this time which he also handed over to Harry.

"What's this?"

"Michael's birth certificate"

With shaking hands, Harry opened the piece of paper. Not knowing if she wanted to know what was written on it or not.

"This can't be true!" She finally came up with looking at Dempsey in total disbelieve.

"If this is original, I'm afraid it is true"

"But Michael said that he had never seen Benjamin before in his entire life. At least not before he ordered him to shoot at you!"

"I know, that's a thing I don't understand. Or Michael had lied about that"

"No I didn't" a little voice said softly.

Neither Harry or Dempsey had heard the door opening behind them. Now they both looked around in total surprise after they had shared a worried look first.

"What has that man to do with my life?" Michael continued, looking from Dempsey to Harry and then back to Dempsey.

"Come over here"

Now that Michael obvious had heard a lot, or even everything, about their conversation they couldn't hide it from him anymore. Slowly Michael walked up to the two persons sitting on the couch.

"Michael? Had someone ever read you these papers in this box?"

They both saw Michael shook his head: "No. I didn't know they were also in the box. I only remembered the bracelet with my name on it. What... what did these papers say?"

Now that Dempsey was directly confronted with what seems to be Michael's past, he knew he had to be very carefully about what he said now.

"Sport. It's nothing to worried about. Harry and I take care of it. Why don't you see if Sophia is awake?"

"You won't tell me"

Dempsey should have known this. Michael was too clever to be mislead.

"I have to tell Harry first"

"It is bad! I knew it. Give me these papers. I want to read them. At least I will try to"

Michael's hand ducked into the box trying to get the papers out of it. But Dempsey was faster. He hold Michael's hand back and said: "Remember what I said earlier? That there are things people don't like when kids are doing them? Well this is one of them. I'll tell you everything that's possible later but not now. This is something for adults to solve. I understand that you want to help and I appreciate that but No. You have to trust me and Harry in this"

"But what if your boss decided that I have to leave after all when he finds all about this?" Michael said with a small voice looking down on his bare feet.

"Now I understand. That's what you worried the most: that Spikings would break his promise that you can stay here"

"He doesn't like me"

Harry wrapped her arm around Michael's small shoulders.

"James will personally take care of that. Wouldn't you James?"

"You can count on that" Dempsey answered with a smile on his face just to comfort Michael.

"Okay" Carefully Michael slipped out of Harry's embrace. When he stood in front of Harry and Dempsey he looked them, one by one, straight in the eyes.

"You know something?"

"What?"

"It wasn't just a bad idea after all that I was forced to shoot you"

"It wasn't?" Dempsey asked wondered if he heard that right.

"No. When I hadn't done that I would have never known that there would be people on this earth who could love me. Doesn't matter what I do"

With these words Michael run away leaving a total speechless Dempsey and Harry behind. To give himself a composure and not to let Harry know how he felt about the words Michael had said to them, Dempsey took the papers in his hand and started to read. But Harry knew exactly how he felt. He was flattered, but also very touched. She was flattered and touched herself. For a 6 year old boy, Michael had been going to so much already, he deserved a little happiness. But when the silence continued in which Dempsey still hadn't say a word, but was only reading, she knew that she had to prepare herself for more problems that they need to overcome. If they hadn't had enough already these last weeks. Finally Harry saw Dempsey putting the papers aside.

"And?" she couldn't hesitate to ask: "What did these papers say?"

"Harry?" Dempsey turned around to look at Harry: "Let me put it this way... I think I have finally figured out why Benjamin came after you and me in the first place"


	99. Chapter 99

"You do?" Harry couldn't believe her ears when she heard Dempsey saying that "Has it something to do with Michael?"

"Yes. Do you remember that Michael heard Benjamin saying that he "_finally_" thought he got me?"

"Of course. And that Michael had no idea what these words meant"

Dempsey took one of the papers in his hand and started to read, but this time he also mentioned what he was reading.

"Rafe O'Brien made a new testament more than two years ago. In that testament he disinherited his only son Benjamin"

"So?" Harry still had no clue what this all had to do with them.

"We both know that Benjamin was a drugs dealer. The police in America found out that during the years Rafe served in Vietnam one of his activities was also to get involved with drugs. He transported them to the US together with the dead bodies of my friends"

Harry saw Dempsey swallowing hard when he had said that. It must be a terrified idea for him that the bags of his death friends where also used for a drugs transport.

"And you were never aware of that?" Harry suggested, lying a hand on Dempsey's arm to give him her support.

"I suspected it, but thought back then that I had it wrong"

"But was has this all to do with us?"

"Unfortunately everything. Rafe had changed his last will, on behalf of..."

When Dempsey didn't continue, Harry squeezed his arm, but Dempsey seemed to be miles away with his thoughts now.

"On behalf of whom?"

No reaction.

"Dempsey!" Harry begged him now. Why didn't he say something?

When Dempsey finally answered, his voice wasn't much more then a whisper.

"Rafe had put _me_ in his last will. I am his legal heir and when I die everything goes to Michael. Michael is Rafe's grandson, the son of Benjamin. But Michael won't get anything till he is 21 years old when I will live that long"

"He put you in his last will as his legal heir? I don't believe it. Why?"

"It's true. From what I know now, I guess that after Rafe had changed his will and Benjamin found out what he had done and what the consequences would be for him, he obvious started to become so mad that he would do everything to get rid of me. Starting with raping you and saying that I would never come back to London. When that didn't help and I returned to London to be with you anyway, he had to come up with something else. I think Benjamin had hardly seen his son over the years so Michael had no idea who he was when he ordered him to shoot me. But of course he never imagined that it would turn out the other way. That _I _shot Michael and not Michael _me_ and that I got emotional involved with the little guy"

"But where is Benjamin now then?"

"I wished I knew that. As long as he's still out there, he's still a dangerous factor for us"

"Not only for us. For Michael and Sophia too"

"Don't you think I didn't realise that?"

Dempsey run a hand through his hair: "He will do everything to kill me or Michael to get what he thinks belong to him"

"What a great thing to think about!" Harry said sarcastically.

"You can't blame me for this!" Dempsey yelled back: "I haven't chosen for this kind of situation!"

Of course, Harry knew that as well, but at this moment she couldn't think clearly anymore. The only thing she could think about was that they were all still in danger. Now that she thought that they had all the problems behind them.

"Maybe McAllister knew where Benjamin is" Harry suggested.

"McAllister?"

"Yeah. Spikings told us yesterday that they had been seen him near the docks remember? Maybe they got a chance to bust him"

"Oh yeah and if they did, what do we tell Spikings? That Michael and I are probably on Benjamin's hit list?"

That was a thing Harry had not thought about. They couldn't tell Spikings that. He had known Rafe O'Brien too well.

"By the way: you said that Rafe had left you something? Is there mentioned somewhere in these papers what exactly he left you?"

Dempsey shook his head: "No. I have no idea. It can be everything"

"Then we have to wait and see what it is" Harry said rational: "I can see if both of the kids are awake by now. Then _you _can put them in the shower"

"Me? What about you?"

"I take a bath when you are finished with the children and try to see if I can make us some breakfast"

"Is there place for two in the bath?"

"I think so, but one of us has to look after the kids!"

With a smile on her face, Harry disappeared. Dempsey leaned backwards on the couch. When would this be finally over? Just as he pushed all the papers back in the box and hold the bracelet in his hand he heard Harry yelling his name and it sounded very urgent. Alarmed he stood up from the couch. What now? When he entered the master bedroom he saw Harry sitting on the chair. Sophia was sitting on her lap.

"You idiot!" he heard her saying pointing a finger in his direction.

"What have I done this time?" Dempsey asked innocent following Harry's gaze in the meantime to something behind him.

When he turned around he saw Michael sitting on the bed with his Magnum .357 in his hand.

"You left your gun on the bedside table!" Harry yelled at him: "How could you be so irresponsible? With the kids on their own in here"

A little guilty Dempsey looked from Harry to Michael: "As far as I can see, nothing happened"

"No, but it could be"

"Sport. It would be better if you lay that gun back where you found it"

"Is this the gun you shoot me with?" Michael asked without putting the gun aside.

"I ordered you something" Dempsey tried to be patient.

"And I asked you something" Michael looked up and his blue eyes challenged Dempsey's now.

"Yes that's the gun I shoot you with. And will you now please put that gun away"

"I thought always that cops had a smaller gun" Michael continued.

"This is an American one"

"An American gun? Is there a difference then?"

Slowly Dempsey approached the bed. He knew he had loaded the gun yesterday and he really wanted to avoid a situation in which Michael, unexpectedly, pulled the trigger and would hurt himself or one of the others in the room.

"I'll explain everything about it to you if you want to but first you have to handle the gun over to me"

When Michael dropped the gun in Dempsey's hand, he heard a big sight of relief coming from behind him. It was obvious that Harry had thought that every minute that gun could go off.

"You see, nothing happened" Dempsey said turning around now.

"Will you do me a favour? If you two wanted so desperately to talk about guns...WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE THE BULLETS OUT OF IT!"

Oh boy, Dempsey thought, the way Harry said, no more screamed, these last words to him said enough. He was in trouble.

"Yes Mum"

"Come Sophia, your father has obvious no time for you now. Boys, big or small they are all the same..."

With Sophia's hand rested in hers, Harry shook her head and walked away closing the door behind her. Leaving Dempsey and Michael behind.

"Harry is mad at me now, isn't she?"

"Well she has all reasons for that. Don't you think so?" Dempsey sat down on the ledge of the bed next to Michael: "Let's make something clear here. Promise me that you never do that again. A gun is a very dangerous thing and not a toy to play with"

"But you are wearing it all the time!"

"That's something different. I'm not playing with it, I only use it when it's necessary"

"But how do you know then that you are in danger and have to use it?"

"Look" Dempsey laid the gun in his hand and removed the bullets first before he started to explain everything to a very interested and eager to learn listener.

"So" he finally finished: "Now I only show you how to put the bullets back in the gun, but I will never see you again with this gun in your hand without having my permission. Do you understand that?"

"Okay" Michael looked down at the gun in Dempsey's hand: "I have one last question for you"

"Go ahead"

"Can you also fire a gun in self defence?"

"Sure. Why do you want to know that for?"

"I don't know" Michael shrugged his shoulders: "Just a thought that crossed my mind"

"When you come across a situation in which you can only free and save yourself by using your gun then it is self defence and permitted"

"So in a way when you shot me it was also self defence?" Innocent Michael looked up at Dempsey.

"Yeah in a way you can say that. I defended myself not to be shot by you"

"That's all I wanted to know"

Michael slipped off the bed and walked away before Dempsey could say something more. What was that last question all about? Dempsey thought. Had Michael asked it to clear his own conscience? Was he perhaps still blaming himself for that shooting? To avoid more incidents, he put his gun in his holster and put it away in the drawer.

When he reached the bathroom some minutes later he found Harry sitting on a chair and both Sophia and Michael standing in the shower.

"Finally, there you are. Can you get me some towels? I forgot to take them with me"

"Sure"

A little time later he found himself drying Michael and Sophia off. "Will you take your bath now or what?"

"No. I think it's better to do it this evening when the kids are in bed again"

"Oh. Something particular in mind then?"

"Maybe"

Dempsey had to hold himself back, because only the look at Harry's face said enough. Maybe she had indeed thought about the fact of taking a bath together, he hoped.

The rest of the day, Dempsey, Harry and the kids sat down in the garden. For everybody who should have watched them, it should have been just an ordinary family enjoying their day off. But of course that wasn't the fact. With still two police cars waiting in front of the house and with Spikings who had phoned them 3 times during that day, it wasn't an ordinary day at all. Just work. Unfortunately the leak to the docks where McAllister was spotted, turned to be a fake on. No sign of Benjamin either. Would they ever been able to locate that man or do they have to wait till something, unexpected, happened again? Not really a thing Spikings, Harry or Dempsey looked forward to.


	100. Chapter 100

That evening, Dempsey brought the kids to bed after he had read them a bedtime story. When he tucked them in, he put a kiss on the cheek of both of them.

"Daddy?' Sophia said with a soft voice.

"Yes Sweetie, what's the matter?"

"I thought about Tommy"

"Tommy?"

"Yeah, you know Tommy!" Sophia said firmly.

"James? Who is Tommy?" Michael asked pushing himself up to a sitting position: "Does Sophia has a boyfriend?"

The way he said that sounded if he didn't like the thought of that.

"No" James answered with a meaning smile: "Tommy is a rabbit"

"A rabbit? You have a rabbit?" Michael turned around in his bed to look at Sophia: "You have a pet? And you left him behind? On his own?"

"No Sport. We didn't left him behind. We adopted Tommy when we were near Winfield Hall"

"Winfield Hall? What's that?"

"That's where granddad lives" Sophia said with a dreamily look on her face now.

"Granddad?"

"Yes" Dempsey sat down on Michael's bedside: "Harry's father"

"Granddad lives in a castle. It's so big. I have my own room there now with a lot of stuffed animals. Right Daddy?"

"Oh" Michael answered looking down on his hands with a sad look on his face: "Something like the orphanage then"

"Not really" Dempsey knew exactly what Michael was thinking on that moment. Only mentioning the name of the orphanage brought all the bad memories back.

"It's a lovely place to be and Mummy told me once that there are stables with horses"

"I don't like horses"

"Michael is afraid of horses!" It was obvious that Sophia found it very amusing that she had finally found something Michael was afraid of.

"I'm not afraid of horses!" Immediately Michael started to defend himself.

"Yes you are"

"I don't like them, that's something different. Besides: you are too little, I bet you had never ride a horse in your life yet"

When Michael saw that Sophia shook her head he continued: "You see. You have no idea where you are talking about"

"I know where I am talking about!" With an angry voice, Sophia also sat right up in her bed: "You are little yourself" Sophia took a pillow in her hands and throw it to Michael.

"Ho. Stop it, both of you!" Dempsey picked the pillow up from Michael's bed and laid it back on Sophia's bed. It was as if he heard himself and Harry having an argument. To his surprise he realised that he had used the same words as Spikings had done so many times in the past to end a dispute between them.

"When we go to Winfield Hall, we'll find out. But for now it's bedtime. No, I don't want to hear you two anymore"

"But Daddy!" Sophia tried.

"I said No Sophia!"

"I don't want him to go with us to Winfield Hall!"

Demonstrably Sophia turned around to be proud that she had had the final word for once. At least she thought so.

"That's not fair!" Michael's lip started to tremble when he realised the meaning of Sophia's words: "James? She doesn't mean that, doesn't she?"

"Sport" Carefully Dempsey laid an arm around Michael's shoulders: "Sophia is not herself at the moment. She had spend so many weeks by Angela and Mike when Harry laid in the hospital and after that in the rehabilitation centre. And during that time she missed her mother very, very much. And then out of the blue, she also had to deal with a father she had never seen before. She's not used to the fact yet that she also has to share her affection of her parents with someone else. You get so much along with each other during the day and she even tried to help you when you were crying this morning. Remember? I know what you said the other day in the orphanage that you wished you had a sister. Be a big brother for her. Everything's gonna be fine, just give it some time"

"You think so?"

A single tear slipped out of Michael's eyes.

"Next time when we visit Winfield Hall, you go with us and I'm sure you will like it there. And you know what: you don't have to go to the stables if you don't want to" Dempsey said, while he squeezed Michael's shoulder.

"But I'm afraid that Sophia thinks then that I'm a coward!"

"You are not a coward! You are a very brave boy. I won't never heard you saying that again. Will you promise me that?"

"Okay"

"And now it's really bedtime. You see, Sophia is already fast asleep"

"James?" Michael said softly when Dempsey wanted to switch the light in the bedroom off.

"Yes?"

"I...I love you"

"I love you too. Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

With his head still by the conversation he had had with the two kids, Dempsey approached the living room.

"How many bedtimes stories did you tell them before they finally felt asleep?" Harry asked looking up from the magazine she tried to read. She had still problems with concentrate herself when she was doing that. When would that finally be over and not have the feeling that when she ended a page that she had no idea what she had been reading at the beginning of it?

"Just one" Dempsey said, still somewhere else with his mind.

"But you have been in there for more than an hour!"

"Had a problem to solve"

When he had told Harry everything about what Sophia had said about Winfield Hall and Michael's reaction on her words, Harry frown her eyebrows.

"I'm starting to think that maybe Sophia is a little jealous at Michael. You spend so much time together with him lately"

"I know. I try to split my time between the both of them, but..." Helpless Dempsey continued: "What if Sophia means what she was saying? That she indeed does not want that we take Michael with us to Winfield Hall?"

"Well. One for the time being there will no way we will be able to go there and second: Time will tell"

She saw him biting his lip.

"What?"

"Wouldn't it be time to have a real good chat with your father to talk things out?" he suggested.

"Dempsey! You know how I think about that"

"Yeah. But in my opinion Sophia meant something else with her words about Winfield Hall as she said"

"What do you mean by that?"

Taking in a deep breath, Dempsey now turned around so he could Harry in her eyes: "What did you tell Sophia over the years about Winfield Hall?" he asked. In fact already suspecting what her answer would be.

"Not much" she finally admitted: "But only because I had bad memories about my last stay there. Not because of my father!"

"You see, now you said it yourself. You are not blaming your father for what Benjamin had done to you back then. It was only the environment of Winfield Hall you hated. It all became clear to me when Sophia said that she finally got her own room there. Finally do you realise what she tried to tell me what that word? That she so desperately wanted to go there, even perhaps to see where her twin brother is buried but that you refused to go there. I bet you never really explain to her why. Believe me I understand how hard it must have been for you to go there on your own, but if you had asked your father to accompanied you, he would have been delighted. You didn't have to wait till I came back to go there with you"

Harry's eyes started to fill with tears. After all this time, the news started to sink in and she realised that Dempsey had been so right. Over more then two years she had blamed her father for something he had nothing to do with. It hadn't been his fault that Benjamin had raped her there. How should he have known where that man was capable to? It became all clear when Michael had handed that box over to Dempsey. The papers inside had said it all: that it hasn't been nothing more than revenge. Revenge about what Rafe had done to Benjamin to reduce him out of the man's will.

"You know something" Harry said softly: "If this all lays behind us, I think it will be time that I pay my father a visit"

Dempsey could only smile. He lifted his hand up to Harry's cheek to cares her. They looked at each other and a warm between the two of them started to fill the air.

"Do you know what Michael said to me just before I left the bedroom?"

"No" Harry answered being more concentrate on what Dempsey was doing and the wonderful feeling he was creating than on what he was saying.

"He said he loved me"

"Well I am agree with that"

Harry bended her head and for a short time their lips met, before Dempsey broke the kiss. A little disappointed Harry try to search his face if she could find in it why he had done that.

"Didn't you tell me this morning that you wanted to take a bath?" He said with a suggestive look on his face.

"James? The way you are saying that and look at me, makes me feel that you have something totally different in mind!"

"Me?" Dempsey answered innocent holding his hand up to Harry at the same time: "I don't know if I can take my hands of you when you are taking your bath, but I promise that I'll behave myself"

"Another promises? And what if I don't believe you?"

"It's my duty to protect you. Yes, now that I think about it, it would be better if I don't leave you out of my side. Not for one single second. It will take a lot of my self-control but I'll behave myself as a real gentleman"

There slipped a smile over Harry's face.

"A real gentleman he? Why is that what worries me the most? But you know what: when you put the tubes of the bath on, I will go to the bedroom to put my robe on and you can help me with getting into the bath. I'm afraid I depend on you with that. I don't see myself getting in to it on my own without slipping away"

"You see" satisfied Dempsey stretched his hand out to help Harry up: "You need me"

"I prefer not to say that in this context, but anyway: let's go"

Hand in hand they walked to the bedroom over to the bedroom but when Dempsey also wanted to step in side, Harry took his arm and turned him around: "The bathroom is over there. Remember?"

Dempsey started to command on that.

"I bet that you can hardly wait to slip into the bath. Think about the fact how it feels when your body..."

But before he could continue, Harry shut the door in front of him. "The bath James" he heard her yelling from inside.

With a big grin on his face, Dempsey walked over to the bathroom. Okay he promised Harry that he should behave himself as a real gentleman. But that didn't included that he also promised her not to look at her when she was taking her bath! After all it was his duty to protect her and where couldn't he do that better than to stay as close as possible to her? In- or outside the bath!


	101. Chapter 101

Oh this was so wonderful! With a pleased smile on her face Harry slipped a little deeper in the water. After Dempsey helped her into the bath, she had send him away. Not that she really wanted to do that, but she didn't trust him that he wouldn't try to step inside the tube as well. She knew him. Of course at the moment she told him that he could go now, he started to protest. That he had to look after her, that he was afraid she would slip away and more of that, logical and illogical arguments.

"I'll yell when I need you" she had said to him: "I know what I'm doing!"

"I have my doubts about that" had his answer been.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"At Winfield Hall you couldn't take a bath, neither at my apartment and in the rehabilitation centre I've never seen a bathroom with a bath"

"Let me see. If I have it right here, I'm taking risks in your eyes with taking a bath on my own? What can possibly happen to me when I just sit in a bath and do nothing else?"

"Well if you only take it to prove me something"

"This is ridiculous, you know that!"

"Maybe" with these words he had turned around and left the bathroom: "I let the door open" was all he said, before he disappeared.

"James!" Harry yelled after him without any luck. Dempsey didn't return.

That all took place only 5 minutes ago and first Harry had felt a little guilty. She knew she had disappointed him. That he had hoped that he could join her in the bath. But Harry just wanted to be alone for awhile. She was still not used to the fact to have someone around in her life. Someone who cared about her. And especially not a man like Dempsey who was so overprotected at the moment that, if she let him doing it, he indeed not wanted to leave her alone anymore for a second. At one side she felt overwhelmed. That he, obvious, finally was able to show her a bit of his feelings, but on the other hand it gave her the creeps. She knew where she was capable to right now. At least, more than she was capable to when she just had had her stroke. However in Dempsey's eyes she was still that dependent woman that he was forced to meet after his return to London. She wished so badly that she could show him that she had made so much progress since then.

In the meantime, Dempsey sat down on the couch in the living room. He felt a little guilty too. He didn't mean to say that he got the impression that Harry only took a bath to prove him something. But anyway he did. He had spoiled his own chances. If she had ever consider the fact that he could take a bath together with her, he could forget it now. He knew her. How could he have been so stupid? Now the only thing he could do was to wait till Harry yelled that she needed him. Only the thought of Harry's naked body lying in the bath, almost made him running back to the bathroom. He had to think on something else or he should brake his promises to her. To distract himself he walked over to the door to the garden and looked outside. He wished he could effort himself such a house like this with a big garden as well. But at the moment he was already thrilled with the fact that Lord Winfield paid the rent for his apartment so that at least they all had a roof above their heads. Would Harry keep her promises that she would talk to her father after this all would be over? Or was he indeed forced to give everything a little push in the right direction as he had had in mind when they had left Winfield Hall? He put his hands in his pockets and glanced in the distance. So far away with his thoughts that he didn't registered anymore what happened around him.

Harry closed her eyes for a short moment of time. Suddenly she felt so tired. It was so great to think on nothing else than just to enjoy the luxury of lying in the hot water. Then all of a sudden she felt two hands on her shoulders. This couldn't be true! After all he had said to her earlier about being a gentleman and not breaking his promises! She should have known that he never meant that! Harry wanted to turn her head to look over her shoulder, but she couldn't move it. She wanted to scream first, but there came no sound out of her mouth. Softly the two hands slipped from her shoulders to her neck. A warm feeling started to grow in her stomach. If Dempsey planned to seduce her in the bath after all and made so much effort, she wouldn't reject him anymore. In fact only the idea of making love to him, even it would be here in the bath, made that her cheeks became red.

"James?" she said softly.

But the man didn't say a word back only pushed her shoulders so hard afterwards that her head hit the edge of the bath with so much power that for a short moment of time she lost her consciousness.

"Au!" Harry yelled with a painful face: "That wasn't funny James!"

Still no reaction from the man behind her. In spite of that the hands around her neck seemed to push her even faster backwards.

"You hurt me" Harry whispered, trying to free herself out of the grip of the man's hands.

"I told you once that you are mine! Why didn't you listen to me?" the voice whispered now in her right ear.

It was on that moment that Harry realised that these two hands didn't belong to James, but that another man was standing in the bathroom. And that that man had been up to something mischief. And on top of that she recognised that voice! She had indeed heard that same voice saying the exact words in the past. Seeing that Harry realised who he was, he pressed one of his hand against her mouth.

"If I were you, I won't do that" she heard him whisper if he knew exactly what she had had in mind.

Helpless, Harry shook her head. She had to free herself one way or another, but how? Her body wasn't recovered that much during these last weeks that she would be able to win a battle of life and death. And certainly not with a man who was so determinate to kill her and much stronger than she was. But she had to do something! She wouldn't let him kill her that easy! Harry started to move, hoping to free herself this way, but the only result of that move was that water gushed over the edge of the bath making the floor very slippery. As a reaction the man pushed his hands even harder around Harry's neck. Pressing all the air out of Harry's lungs. This was it then, Harry thought. This was how dying felt. After all these weeks of fighting so hard to recover, she would die in a bath. She felt so much sorrow and pain. For Sophia, for Michael but even more for Dempsey. Why hadn't she listen to him? He had been so right that at any time things could happen to her. If she had let him stay, at least he would have been here with her. Now his motto: _Live is hard, then you die_, got another meaning. Even in a way, she knew, he never thought about.

"Damn" Harry heard the man swear when he tried to stand up from the edge of the bath and almost slipped away with his foot on the floor. For a short moment of time, Harry felt how the hands lost their grip around her neck. With all the power she had inside her, Harry screamed. She yelled Dempsey's name not once, but twice before the man could stop her.

"You bitch!" was his answer on her action. In two seconds the hands were back around her neck. Now pushing even harder. Till a, worried, voice yelled her name.

"Harry? What's the matter? Are you alright?"

With eyes filled with fear, Harry watched how the man bend his head over to her. He was all dressed in black and was wearing a black balaclava with some gaps in it to make space for his eyes and mouth.

"Oh great. There's your Prince Charming again just in time to rescue you. But believe me Lady: I'll be back"

Harry swallowed hard. She had no doubts that he would do that. He was capable of anything.

At the same moment that the man wanted to leave the bathroom, unnoticed, Dempsey entered the corridor.

"What the hell?" he said surprised: "Who are you?"

But of course the man didn't say a word.

"He" Dempsey grabbed the man's arm but not fast enough. In no time he was able to free himself and run now to the front door which stood wide open. How was that possible? Dempsey thought. He was certain that it had been closed during the day.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Dempsey yelled with a worried voice, entering the bathroom at the same time.

"Yes, I'm fine"

"Who the hell was that?"

"Benjamin!" Harry answered.

"Benjamin?" Dempsey repeated if he thought that Harry was making a joke and that he heard it wrong.

"Yes, Benjamin"

"Damn"

Harry opened her mouth to say something else but to her horror, Dempsey had already left the bathroom.

"James! No. Wait! Don't go after him on your own!"

She knew exactly what Dempsey had had in mind. But of course her warning came too late. Dempsey had stormed out of the house without even hearing what Harry had yelled after him. He only felt anger, so much anger that he became a very dangerous subject for everybody who would approach him now. After he had made two steps out of the front door he felt how something hit him against his legs. He lost his balance almost immediately and tumbled to the ground into the grass with the other man landing on top of him. From the corner of his eyes, Dempsey saw a knife glittering which plate was now held against his throat. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea after all trying to catch Benjamin on his own. But it was too late for that now.

"So we finally meet again" he heard the other man saying: "After all this time"

"If you thought that I would say that I have been looking forward to it, you must be dreaming"

"Well" the man was now playing with his knife: "I must say that Lady Harriet is even more beautiful as she has been back then"

"What do you want from us?" was all Dempsey could say. Trying even harder to control himself.

"I want everything back that belongs to me. To start with my son Michael"

Dempsey felt the anger boiling up in him again: "No Pal, not in my wildest dreams!" No way that he would handle Michael over to this creep.

"Let's say it this way then. If I get the other things back which belong to me, I'll leave you two alone"

"Don't you think that maybe your father had a good reason to change his last will and not to leave everything to you?" Dempsey tried, feeling that knife digging a little deeper into his throat.

In the late evening hours of the day, Dempsey couldn't see the man's eyes very clearly because Benjamin was still wearing his black balaclava but the way the man reacted on his words said enough. He was livid. And Dempsey knew directly that it would have been better not to say these words to him.

"You are just as all the others!" Where did Dempsey heard that before? Michael had used that words as well against him in the past: "I won't let you go away with this"

And before Dempsey realised it, Benjamin throw the knife away and started to punch him. Oh Benjamin wanted a fight? Well he could get it. Only he has still no idea where exactly they were fighting over. It didn't take long before the two men roll over the grass in front of the house.

"Why don't you just turn yourself in? That would be much easier for the both of us" Dempsey suggested between two punches into the man's face with his right wrist.

"Never" Benjamin answered breathing very heavily.

The fight between the two men continued for another 5 minutes. During that time, Dempsey hoped that the other man would stay away for at least a second so that he could grab his gun and arrest the man, but when that moment finally came, when Benjamin started to search for his knife in the high grass, and Dempsey's hand automatically went to his left shoulder to his holster, he knew that there was something wrong. And that he had realised that some time ago already in the back of his head: he wasn't wearing his holster! There was no gun that he could use. As in a movie he saw himself and Michael sitting on the bed earlier that day. How he had put the bullets back in before he had put his holster away with the gun in the drawer of the bedroom table. Just to be sure that the kids wouldn't use it as a toy. He crucified himself for being so naive. He should have slipped into his holster anyway. No matter what Harry thought about that. On that way the kids would have been also safe. Why was he always listening to her these days about what he better could do or not?

"I kill you" he heard Benjamin yelling running up to him holding his knife in front of him with both hands.

Dempsey had just a second to decide, before the man should stab him, when a shot filled the air and Benjamin tumbled down to the ground right in front of him. Blood streamed out of a wound in his chest.

"Hold on" Dempsey said: "I call an ambulance" and he wanted to walk back into the house, but Benjamin hold one of his legs in an iron grip: "Don't. You and your family are better of without me"

"You don't have to thank me. It's my duty to..." but it was too late. When Dempsey knelt next to the body, he saw that Benjamin looked past him if he saw something there that only he could see, before he stopped breathing. Carefully Dempsey closed the man's eyes and stood up. It was then that he saw a silhouette standing in the front door of the house. Clearly visible in the light of the hallway. It wasn't so much the figure itself which he had to be thankful that he was still alive. No it was more that what the figure was holding in both hands that made that a little shiver crept over his back. The figure was holding a gun! And there was no doubt about that it was his!


	102. Chapter 102

Carefully Harry touched with her hand at the back of her head. Great. First a bleeding inside her head and now one at the outside, she thought when she saw that blood had collared her fingers red. Besides of that her throat was so painful that every time she swallowed it seemed if she suffocated. Now she knew how patients in the rehabilitation centre must have felt when they had had a stoke and got problems with swallowing as well. Something she hadn't had any experiences with till now. And where the hell was Dempsey? Why hadn't he returned in the meantime? Harry had no idea how much time had passed since she had last seen him after he had left the bathroom to go after Benjamin on his own. It must have been some time ago, because the hot water slowly started to become cold. The longer it took before he returned, the more worried she became. Desperate Harry tried to force herself to a sitting position on her knees, but after four useless efforts, she sank back in the water. There was no way that she could climb out of the bath on her own. She really needed Dempsey to help her. Where the hell was he? What if he wouldn't return? By the thought of that a shiver crept over her back, followed by another one. Then her body seemed to realise what kind of horrible experience she had been forced to undergo. That someone had tried to kill her in here! Her hands were shaking. Vainly she tried to hold them still, but without any luck. A bitterly cold began to rise from deep down inside her. She bent her knees up to her chin in a restless attempt to stay a little warm by using her own body heath. At least what was still over of it. But then, totally unprepared, she sat straight into the bath. With eyes filled with fear she heard a shot coming from outside. No! This wasn't happening!

"James?" she yelled desperately, but nobody answered. Only an echo in the bathroom could be heard.

You see, she said to herself: It's your own fault if something might happen to him. If you had let him stay earlier, there wouldn't have been a chance for him to follow Benjamin. For once you should have followed your heart and not your head. How many times Dempsey had said that to her in the past? And now maybe it was too late to change that.

The shivering and trembling of her body became now almost unbearable. She had yelled Dempsey's name over and over again, but still no reaction. Why did nobody hear her? What about these policemen in the two police cars which were watching the house? Why didn't they come to the scene for help? Harry wondered. They must have heard that shot too. Just when she got the feeling to be stuck in that bath forever, she heard a noise in the corridor.

"James? James is that you?" Harry shouted hoping that indeed it was him.

"Harry?" the voice answered: "I'm right with you. Don't worry. I'm fine"

Dempsey! It was him! He was alive. Her biggest fear started immediately to be replaced by an overwhelming feel of relief and joy. But what took him so long to come back to her? What was he doing? Then finally she heard the front door shut and seconds later Dempsey's head peeked around the door of the bathroom.

"Hi Princess. Did you enjoy your bath in the meantime?"

Harry's mouth dropped open. She wasn't able to speak. He just came back to her doing if nothing had happened! How could he do that? Didn't he realise that she was worried sick in here?

But when she looked up at him, she could see in his eyes that he had only made that joke to light up the atmosphere a little bit. That he knew exactly how she felt deep down inside.

"Here I have something for you"

Till Harry's surprise, he handed her a glass with something in it she couldn't interpreted.

"What's this?"

"Something to help you to recover"

"I'm not in shock!"

"No maybe not, but your body is'

"You look if you can use something as well"

With producing a half smile, Dempsey walked over to the mirror. Harry was right. He looked awful. His hair was a mess, he had some brushes on his skin and when he looked down he discovered some dark spots on his trousers produced by the grass where he had ended fighting with Benjamin.

"Did you get him?" Harry asked taking in a large gulp out of the glass which she regretted at the same time. The liquid burned in her throat and she must restrain herself not to split it out immediately.

"Oh yes" Dempsey sat down on the toilet: "I got him. He's dead"

"Death? Oh no. You shot him? Did you identify yourself this time or did you forget to do that again just like last time?

"Harry? What's this? Some kind of interrogation? Why can't you just be happy that we don't have to be worried about him anymore?" Dempsey said. Frustrated about the lack of sympathy of her.

But Harry had no intention to give in.

"Why don't you just tell me what happened? And how did he come in here in the first place?"

"I discovered a key in Benjamin's trouser pocket when I searched him. The key fits at the lock of the front door"

"He has a key of this house?"

"Is that such a wonder? This is, was..." Dempsey interrupted himself: "His father's house"

"But how did Benjamin know that we were here? This suppose to be a safe house!"

When Dempsey didn't answer on that only stood up from the toilet to walk over to Harry, she suddenly realised something.

"Did you inform Spikings about what happened? Or did you forget to do that too in your excitement over the fact that Benjamin is dead?"

"What's this? You think that I left Benjamin behind, death on the ground of the front yard and just walked inside without calling it in? Who do you think I am? An amateur?"

The way Dempsey said that was a warning for Harry not to push it any harder. If she would do that, she knew, he would exploded.

"I'm sorry" Harry answered: "I don't know what to think anymore. The only thing I know, is that you react not the way as it used to be. If you are holding something back for me"

"If that's so it would be the fact that Spikings and Chas can arrive here any minute. I get you a towel. I have to see if I can warm you up so that you won't catch a cold. Of course I know a better way to do that, but I think we don't have time for that"

Harry felt her cheek become red. She knew exactly what Dempsey had in mind and when she looked at him and saw the big grin that started to spread all over his face, she felt so embarrassed. Why did he always do that? Harry thought when she saw him leave. With a lot of difficulties Harry emptied the glass and waited. Two minutes later Dempsey was back with in one hand a big towel and her pyjamas in the other.

"I thought you said that Spikings and Chas could arrive here any minute. I really want to meet them properly. Not in my pyjamas"

"Oh that's probably something I forgot to tell you then. You can tell _me_ what happened in here. I'll fill in the rest of the report later"

"What? You can't be serious? For the first time in all these years that I know you, you will write a report on your own? I don't believe this. Did you hurt your head or something?"

"No I didn't. Just do what I said"

"And you think that Spikings will be agree with this?"

"You have been going through enough already. Or did you forget that you hardly been recovered from that stroke you had?"

"Thanks for your concern Dempsey, but I'm more than capable to handle my own life again from now on. And will you now get me a shirt and my jeans?"

"No. Not when you won't stay in the bedroom during my meeting with Spikings and Chas"

Harry opened her mouth to say something, but before she could react on what Dempsey had said, he continued: "And that's an order!"

"You can't order me anymore Lieutenant!"

"Oh yes I can"

Totally speechless Harry took Dempsey's outstretched hand so he could help her out of the bath. He wrapped her into the big towel and started to rub her body just as he had done by Sophia and Michael earlier. Twice Harry tried to bring Dempsey on other thoughts, but he pretended if he didn't hear what she was saying.

"You selfish, egoistic..." Harry mumbled between gritted teeth's: "This is a case that involves the both of us"

"Exactly" Dempsey answered holding her pyjama trousers up to Harry.

"I hope that Spikings won't let you get away with this, but I bet you will bring it up in a way that he couldn't resist you. I wished that I knew how you always managed to do that" Harry snapped her trousers out of Dempsey's hand and slipped into it.

"Do what?"

"Always get what you want"

"Not always"

"You are unbelievable. Do you know that?"

"I only do what I think is best for you Harry. You should have known that by now"

Carefully Dempsey lifted his hand up to Harry's head.

"Damn. You are bleeding!" He said when he felt some blood in her hair.

"Not that much"

"You have to be careful with that. Are you sure that nothing has been damaged inside? Let me check that wound"

"You don't have to do that. A plaster on it will be fine. I think I only have a headache tomorrow"

"Are you sure? Would it be wiser to bring you to the hospital? So that they could do a MRI scan of your head. Just to be sure that nothing is wrong?"

"Dempsey! I have had two of them and you know how I reacted on both of them! They scared the hell out of me. Don't let me undergo a third one. I have had enough of hospitals for the rest of my life"

"But what about this then?"

"What do you mean?" she asked softly when she saw him pointing his finger to the direction of her neck.

When he turned her around to face the mirror, she saw five fingers standing on each side of her neck.

"I wished I could have avoid that"

"I know" Harry answered softly.

For a short moment of time their eyes meet in the mirror. Then Dempsey wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and bend his head. The next moment Harry saw him putting a little kiss on one of the red marks that Benjamin's fingers had made in her neck.

"In any case we don't have to guess where Benjamin would be now anymore" he whispered in her neck.

"That's true"

Harry turned around in Dempsey's arms to look him straight in his eyes.

"Will you please promise me to stay in the bedroom when Spikings and Chas are here?"

"I have no idea why that's so important to you, but yeah I'll stay there. But under one condition"

"I knew it, but okay what's the condition?"

"That you won't ask me to help you writing your part of the report after all. You'll be all on your own''

"You are still a hard cookie to crack do you know that? But I love you anyway"

Just on the moment, Harry wrapped her arms around Dempsey's neck, the doorbell rang.

"Saved by the bell again I think" Dempsey mumbled against Harry's forehead with some regret in his voice: "When this all will be definitely over, I'm starting to think that I'll kidnap you to a desert island where at least nobody would be able to find us!"

"Sounds wonderful. The desert island I mean. Not the kidnapping" Harry agreed with a smile on her face.

A second time the doorbell rang. A little harder this time.

"I must be going"

"Yeah"

After putting a last kiss on Harry's cheek, Dempsey disappeared. Without turning around anymore he closed the bathroom door behind him.

As fast as she could, Harry slipped into her pyjamas and hold the plug out of the bath. Even with wearing her pyjamas she was still shivering. She heard Spikings voice in the corridor before a door was closed. She knew that the three men must be in the living room by now. For a short moment she tried if she could hear something coming from inside but the door was obvious too thick to let any sound through. With her hand already on the door handle, she realised just in time what she was doing.

"You gave James your word to stay away from it" she said firmly to herself. If he was so desperate to do this on his own, he would be on his own. Shortly, when he would become the new Superintendent of the SI10 she wouldn't be around him either to help him out. This was probably a good sign. Of course he didn't say it to her, he perhaps never would, but maybe, just maybe, she hoped, he was indeed on his way to accept her resignation from the force. With a meaningful look on her face Harry disappeared in the bedroom and slipped under the duvet. Being so exhausted that within seconds she was fast asleep. Unaware from what the three men elsewhere in the house needed to discuss.


	103. Chapter 103

A couple of hours later Harry woke up because she felt someone slipping next to her in bed. When Dempsey noticed that she was awake, he bend over to her.

"How did it go?" she asked with a sleepy voice.

"Fine. Go back to sleep"

In the light of the moon that felt through the curtains, she saw him turn around with his back to her.

"That's all you have to say? Fine?"

"Harry. Please not now. It's 2 o'clock in the morning! I'm exhausted"

Harry sank back with her head in the pillows. The two aspirins that she had been taken earlier to bent the headache out of her head, seemed to work. She didn't feel much pain, but now she felt another pain. A pain that was even more evil as the pain in her head. He just shut her out and that was something that hurt her more than she expected. She turned around as well to lay on her good side, but it took hours till she, finally, felt asleep again not knowing that Dempsey, lying in the bed next to her, had the same problems with getting some sleep.

It was around 9 pm the following morning that Harry opened her eyes. When she looked to the other side, she found the bed next to her empty. She didn't even hear the shower going so she assumed that Dempsey had been up for, perhaps, hours already. Stretching her legs and feeling a terrible pain rushing from her heard till her toes by doing that, she remembered what she had done last night. Maybe taken that bath hadn't been such a smart idea after all. Apart from what had happen in the bathroom that someone had tried to kill her in there. With great difficulties she stepped out of the bed and put her robe on and walked over to the living room. There she found Dempsey sitting fully dressed in a jeans and t-shirt at the table with some papers in front of him.

"Good morning. Sleep well?" he asked, not looking up from a piece of paper he was reading.

"Perfect" she lied.

"Glad to hear that"

He seems to be miles away with his thoughts and not really listening to what she was saying.

"Where are the kids?" Harry asked. Maybe he would communicate more if she brought the subject to them.

"Somewhere in the garden" he stretched his arm out to the patio door which stood wide open: "I showered and dressed them"

"You did?" Harry wondered.

"Yeah, you were fast asleep so I thought it would be better to let you get some rest. We have a busy day lying in front of us"

"What do you mean?"

"I have to write my report first and then we move out of here this afternoon"

"Move out? This afternoon?"

Totally astound Harry sank down on another chair in front of Dempsey: "You have made that decision on your own, without discussing it with me first?"

"There's nothing to discuss about. Benjamin is dead so there's no reason to stay here any longer"

"But what about Lucia and McAllister? They are still out there somewhere" That was a question that had crossed Harry's mind since the moment Dempsey had told her that Benjamin was dead but not had had the opportunity to ask him.

"I don't think we have to be worried that they would come after us as well. It was Benjamin's revenge that made him do all these horrible things. Not these two"

"How can you be so sure about that?"

For a short moment of time Dempsey looked Harry straight in the eyes before he paid his attention to another piece of paper.

"Believe me. I know"

"But the kids and I like it here. I promised them to go out for a swim in that swimming pool they found in the back of the house!" Helpless Harry looked at Dempsey.

"I'm sorry"

"Is that all you can say: I'm sorry? You are acting real strange since Benjamin died. I don't know why but there's something not right. I can feel it"

"You see Ghosts"

"I'm not seeing Ghosts!" Harry answered with despair in her voice: "Ghosts don't exist. That were your own words. I know what I see. And believe me, I don't like it!"

"Why don't you get dressed and make us some breakfast?" Dempsey suggested.

"Okay. I get the message. I won't disturb you any longer"

Angry Harry stood up from her chair and walked over to the door of the living room. Then she turned around but the only thing she saw, when she did that, was Dempsey who had picked up his pen and was now writing something down. It seemed if he had forgotten already that she had joined him. Biting her lip Harry disappeared. When she had turned around again, she should have seen how Dempsey stared at her while she was leaving. With a painful look on his face.

"Why are we leaving?" Sophia asked switching her head between Dempsey and Harry when she was told that they would return to Dempsey's apartment later that day.

"Because this house doesn't belong to us Sweetie. We told you that before. This was only temporarily"

"Why can't you make it a permanent house for us then? Can't you do that Daddy?" Sophia asked, stamping with her little feet on the ground at the same time.

"No, Daddy can't do that"

"And what about him?" Sophia pointed her little finger in Michael's direction.

During the whole conversation between the two adults and Sophia, Michael had stand aside. He hadn't say a word Harry realised.

"He comes with us" Dempsey said, stretching his hand out to Michael who took it as a lifeguard: "I want you two go to the bedroom now and see if you can pack your belongings. Michael you can help Sophia if she needs it. Okay?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Followed by Sophia who was still not satisfied with the whole situation. When the kids had left the room and Harry had closed the door behind them, she walked up to Dempsey who stood in front of the window of the patio door now and looked outside. When she stood next to him she hissed: "It would have been great if you had discussed that with me as well!"

"Discussed what with you?"

"You know exactly what I mean"

"No I don't"

"That Michael comes with us! Did you decide that as well yesterday evening or must I say in the early hours of today?"

"Spikings is agree with that if that is what you mean" Dempsey had put his hands in his pockets so that Harry wouldn't notice that he had clenched his fists.

"I didn't give a damn thing about the fact if he's agree with that or not! It's our life we are talking about here. Not his!"

"Where are you so mad about? I thought that this is what you also wanted?"

"Of course I didn't want him to go back to that orphanage. You know that, but this involves the both of us and Sophia!"

"You are afraid that Michael can have a bad influence on her. Is that it?"

Frustrated Harry walked over to the couch to sit down. She had been standing for to long already and her leg was protesting heavily, but she tried not to mention that to Dempsey so she crossed her legs in front of her and bite the pain back.

"No James, that's not the point here. I just wanted that you had told me what you had in mind. Is that so difficult for you to understand?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't think on that"

"That's your problem. You never think. You just do things which you have to regret later. I only hope, you won't regret this decision. That's all I want to say about it. I'll see if I can make us some breakfast. Can you clean up the table a little bit or do you want me to make some sandwiches which we can eat on the couch?"

"I think that would be a great idea. Then I can continue writing my report as soon as we finished. Spikings will pick it up around noon"

"Making progress?" Harry asked softly, hoping that she didn't use the wrong words again.

"It goes"

The way he said that, Harry knew that it didn't go at all, that he was still hating writing it, but that he was too proud to admit that.

After having breakfast, Harry and the kids left Dempsey alone to pack. Spikings had given him a letter yesterday which had been delivered earlier that day at the SI10 office about Harry's physiotherapy. Where the hell she had been going to, because they had tried to contact her over and over again for her treatments she had to follow. Why was life so complicated these days? For a short moment of time he even wished that he had never returned to London. It would have been much easier to go on with his life then, but on the other hand also very painful. In one thing he must admit that Harry had been right: after all that happened lately he was still not really used to the fact that people depended on him. That was still a whole new experience for him.


	104. Chapter 104

_One week__ later_

A couple of days ago, Harry, Dempsey and the kids had returned to Dempsey's apartment. It had be strange first. Especially for the kids the change had been very hard in the beginning. Used to a garden in the safe house they got stuck on a balcony now on which they could hardly play at all and with Harry who was so overprotected and afraid that one of them could tumble down that most of the time Sophia and Michael had to stay inside for their own safety.

Something else had also changed. Since their arrival Michael hardly said a word during the day anymore. Not to Sophia and not to Harry. First Harry didn't even noticed it. She had so much on her mind. Shortly after they had came back here, Dempsey had told her about the letter they got from the rehabilitation centre. She needed to go back to there twice a week to get more physiotherapy. Harry knew that she had to accept the fact, that walking properly would always be a problem for her during the rest of her life and only following physiotherapy for least another 4 months would improve that. But how did she get there? She was still not permitted to drive. That could take another 7 months and then there would be still doubts. She couldn't ask Dempsey to bring her. Taking a cab? No option either. Much too expensive. She was still thinking on a solution when Sophia approached by her side.

"Mummy?" Sophia asked softly holding Harry out of her thoughts: "Michael don't want to play with me anymore. He said that I have to leave him alone. I didn't do anything, honestly not"

"Sweetheart, maybe Michael is just a little tired"

"I don't think so"

"Do you want me to see what's wrong with him?"

"Yes please"

Followed by Sophia, Harry entered the bedroom. Harry remembered how hard it had been for Dempsey and Mike to put an extra bed in the room last week. That was another thing Dempsey hadn't think about, that there was hardly no space at all for Michael's bed in Sophia's bedroom.

"What are you doing on your own in here?" Harry asked sitting down on the bed next to Michael.

"When will James be back?" she heard him asking.

"I don't know. He didn't say"

"Oh"

Harry almost regretted that she had asked Michael that question. Now that she paid more attention to it, it seemed that Michael seemed only be happy when Dempsey was around. As soon as Michael noticed that the key was stocked in the lock and Dempsey opened the door, he ran to him and hugged him if he hadn't seen him in years. During the rest of the evening, till bedtime, they were almost inseparable. Michael acted as his normal self then, but as soon as Dempsey left for the office the next morning that sad look was back on his face.

"Is there perhaps a problem you want to talk about?" Harry asked carefully putting a hand on Michael's arm.

Michael didn't answer only pushed Harry's hand away.

"I asked you something. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing"

"I know there's something going on. Do you want me to ask James to talk to you? Would that be easier for you?"

"The only thing I want is that you two leave me alone!" Michael yelled, bending his knees up to his nose now and slapped his arms around his legs.

Harry knew Michael too well by now, that pushing him now would only make things worse. She took Sophia's little hand in hers and said to the little girl: "Come on. We leave Michael alone if that's what he prefers"

"But I want to play with him!"

"Later"

Sophia turned her head to Michael: "Why did you come with us, if you don't like it here?"

"Sophia!" Harry warned her: "You take that back. Now!"

"Okay, I'm sorry"

But the words had had their impact on Michael already. Harry saw tears started to fill his eyes. She so desperately wanted to comfort him, to be there for him, but in this he acted almost exactly as Dempsey always did in these kind of circumstances. So it would be better just to back off and to let Dempsey do the rest.

But when Michael didn't show up the rest of the day, didn't want anything to eat for lunch and only sat down in the bedroom for the rest of the day, Harry started to get worried. And even more when Dempsey later that day had had indeed that man to man talk with the little guy, but after that nothing seemed to be improved. In fact, Michael shut himself off now even more during the day and only came alive as soon as Dempsey turned up on the scene. Harry felt so frustrated and didn't know what to do anymore. Every night after she had discussed it with Dempsey, he had given her the same answer. That she had to give the little guy some time, then she would see that everything turned out to be fine. But how much time she had to give Michael, Dempsey never said.

And now the turning point in both their lives had come. Today was _the day_, Harry thought pushing herself up into a sitting position and looking down on a sleeping Dempsey who laid next to her in bed. Yesterday they had brought Sophia and Michael to Angela and Mike. The little girl had cried constantly when she realised that her parents had to leave her behind again for one day and two nights on a row. She had stamped her little feet yelling that she wanted to be with them. Grabbing Dempsey's arm with no intention of letting him go. Harry stood next to them in the corridor feeling miserable that they had to leave their little girl behind again.

"I won't stay" Sophia had said over and over again.

"Angel" Dempsey tried, kneeling next to her so that he could see her straight in the eyes:" We have told you already what a big day it will be tomorrow for both mummy and daddy. And that it would be very late. Too late for little girls. But we come to pick you up the day after tomorrow"

"So Michael too?" Sophia asked with a small voice looking at Michael who, as usual lately, hadn't say a word.

Harry had warned Angela and Mike yesterday that it would be difficult for them to have Michael around. But they assured Harry that it wouldn't be a problem. That she overreacted everything and that it would have fun to have both of the kids hanging around. Harry hoped so, but to be honest, she had had her doubts about it and feared that the stay of the two kids would end in a disaster. Of course Dempsey hadn't seen it that way. He had tried to comfort her, but she was still not convinced.

"Michael too" Dempsey answered, meanwhile turning around. He saw Harry leaning heavily on her stick with tears glittering in her eyes. It must be so hard for her to know that after all the efforts they both had made during the last weeks by trying to hide most difficulties she had to deal with for Sophia, it turned out that they hadn't fool the little girl. Luckily Sophia didn't realise what exactly was wrong with her mother, but that there was something wrong didn't keep unnoticed to her. Taking in a deep breath, if Sophia knew that screaming or yelling wouldn't help anymore, she put her little arms around Dempsey's neck and buried her face against his shoulder.

"Love you" she whispered softly in his right ear.

Dempsey now also found the tears brimming in his eyes. He tried hard to keep his composure. Harry saw him shrugged his shoulders.

"I love you too, so be a good little Angel. Okay?"

Sophia's nodded her head.

"So let's say goodbye then to mummy and daddy" Angela suggested, taking Sophia's little hand in hers while Dempsey stood straight again after he had kissed his little girl on the cheek. Then he ran a hand through Michael's hair. The reaction on that gesture was that Michael wrapped his arms around Dempsey's body and hugged him so hard that he almost pushed all the air out of his longs.

"It's gonna be alright Sport" he said so softly that only Michael could hear it.

After they had both kissed Michael goodbye and Dempsey had free himself out of Michael's grip, Harry felt Dempsey's arm around her waist to support her, she couldn't help that one single tear slowly run down her cheek. It was so hard to leave both kids behind even that they knew they were in capable and loving hands.

That had been yesterday. And now they had to face a new day. Later this afternoon, they were expected at a little cafe to celebrate Dempsey's promotion. Harry still found it hard to believe that in a couple of hours time he would be the new Chief Superintendent of SI10. That Spikings had resigned from the force and that for the both of them a whole new life should have start to begin. A life in which they, finally, didn't have to hide their feelings for each other anymore. Harry was still looking down at a sleepy Dempsey. He still looked exhausted, even in his sleep. It had been very hectic and stress full weeks. But she was glad that the case, they had worked so hard on together, had been solved. They both had paid a price for it, but it laid all behind them now.

If Dempsey felt that someone was looking at him, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Good morning Princess" she heard him saying seeing stretching his arm out to her.

With a little smile on her face, Harry sank down so she could lay next to him. Immediately Dempsey's hand moved to her waist and he put his arm around her. He bend over to her to give her a little kiss on her lips. Feeling his lips on hers, Harry put her arms around his neck just as Sophia had done yesterday. She had no intention to do it, but before noticing she had kissed him back.

"How I missed this" he whispered holding her on a distant.

"Hmmm" he heard her answering. When he looked at her he saw her eyes glowing.

"What are you doing?" Dempsey continued.

"What do you mean? I thought it is obvious"

"Yeah, but why? Why now? Why today?"

"Because I thought today would be the perfect day for it"

"Harry? We don't have to do it especially today! I remember perfectly how it ended the last time when we try this"

"It's different now"

"NO!"

Dempsey pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"You refuse to make love to me?"

Astound Harry looked at Dempsey.

"No. I don't refuse but if we do it, I want it to be special not a rush, rush thing!"

"It won't be a rush, rush thing. We have 3 hours at least for that!"

"I just won't do it today. I have other, more important things on my mind at the moment"

"More important things? I don't believe my ears!"

Disappointed Harry watched him leave the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower. Will you join me?"

When Harry didn't answer, Dempsey left the bedroom without saying another word. Harry laid down again on the bed. Why was he acting like this? Was he, after all, still scared or what? 10 minutes later Harry still laid at the bed. She heard Dempsey entering the bedroom and when she opened her eyes, she saw him standing in front of the closet.

"In the time I get dressed you can take your shower" she heard him saying.

It was obvious. He indeed seem to have more important things on his mind. Harry slipped out of the bed avoiding looking at him first. But when she approached the doorway she turned around.

"You know something? Sometimes I wished I could turn back time. That we were still in that safe house or that I laid in the hospital or rehabilitation centre" Harry said with a sad voice.

When Dempsey heard her saying that, he could only look at her in surprise.

"Why?" he whispered.

"Because then at least we were there for each other. Since we are home, I have hardly seen you. Work, work and even more work was all you could think of. And when you are home, you spend all your free time with Sophia or Michael. Have you any idea how that feels? The last week I can't get the thought out of my mine that I don't exist for you anymore. That I'm just a piece of furniture that you tolerate in your life but nothing more. Is that how our future will be? That we live next but not with each other? I'll be there for you, but why do I get more and more the feeling you don't want to be there for me anymore?"

With these words Harry closed the bedroom door behind her. If she had turned, she should have seen the impact that her words had had on Dempsey. He had to sit down because his legs were shaking so much. Despaired he buried his head in his hands. He had worked so hard this last week to build on their future. But would that be enough for them? Harry had expected that Dempsey got dressed by now, when she returned from the bathroom, but till her surprise he wasn't. He was still sitting on the bed at the same spot. He looked up to her when she entered the room.

"I'm sorry" she heard him saying: "I realise that I never thought how this last week must have been for you. To spend the whole day long in here mostly on your own. Not been able to move as you wanted. With Michael who hardly didn't respond and with Sophia..."

"Do you know what hurts the most?" she interrupted him before he could say more.

"What?"

"That I asked you every day when you came home from the office how it went and every time you only said '_fine_' and nothing else. If you are afraid to share your life with me"

"That's not true!"

"Then why do I have the feeling that I live together these days with a man I hardly know? We had made an agreement that first day in the safe house. Remember? That from the day the case would be solved and we moved back in here we should share everything with each other. Well it's obvious to me now, you didn't mean a word of it back then. That it was a one sided decision"

When Dempsey kept silence, Harry walked over to the closet and took a black trousers and blouse out of it. For a short moment she hesitated and took a blue dress in her hand. But then she remembered how it turned out the last time when she tried to wear a dress. Today she couldn't deal with another disappointment so it would be safer to stick just with trousers. As quick as possible she got dressed and avoid looking at Dempsey who still hadn't move or said something.

"I'm making breakfast" Harry announced before disappearing again.

Dempsey saw her leaving. He wanted to yell after her, hold her back, but he seemed to be paralysed. Taking in a deep breath, he also walked to the closet and opened the door. He pushed some shirts aside before he found where he had been looking for. A black box. Carefully he opened it. For a short moment of time he only stared at it. His head switched between the door and the box in his hand. If he didn't know for sure if he was doing the right thing here. Then, before he could change his mind, he let the box slipped into the pocket of his jacket together with a piece of paper.

Harry sat down at the kitchen table. She hadn't had any intention to bring the subject of feeling rejected up to Dempsey. And certainly not today. But it had slipped out of her mouth before she had noticed it. She was almost certain that she had ruin the most important day of Dempsey's life now and she felt real miserable about it. Tonight, after the celebration they need to talk. If he would still refuse to do that, there would only be one option left for her: to move out and to go back to her own place. It would be hard, very hard not only emotional, physical but financial as well, but everything would be better than try to live together with a man who had no intention to share his feelings, thoughts and life with her. Not now, not in the future.


	105. Chapter 105

Two hours later they sat next to each other in Dempsey's car. For Harry it was hard not to look at him or even touch him during the whole trip, but because Dempsey hardly said a word to her, she stared blankly out of the front window and pretended to be happy. But deep down inside she felt terrible. From the moment he had parked the car and helped her out, he was surrounded by people who asked for his attention. It seemed that most of them forgot that she was also there. It became even worse when Dempsey had guided her to a chair in the corner of the pub to sit down and one man, Harry had never seen him before, grabbed his arm with the words: "Excuse me but I want you to introduce to someone" and before Harry could say something in return she saw the two men disappear.

"Not exactly what you had in mind, hadn't you?" she heard a voice saying in her right ear: "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Please do" Harry answered, watching how Alice took another seat at the other side of the table.

"How are you doing?" Alice asked Harry while she put her glass in front of her on the table.

"Still humbling" Harry admitted.

"Not making progress anymore?"

"A little, but my leg still hurts like hell if I do or walk too much"

"Do you think, you'll ever accept the fact that you can't do anymore what you really want?" Alice looked Harry for a moment straight in her eyes and saw the sad look lying in them, she immediately turned her head away: "Sorry, that was a stupid thing to ask"

"No you have all the rights to do that, but I don't know. I honestly don't know. You know something: I think it's the hardest for Sophia. Yesterday when we brought her to Angela and Mike I got the impression that she thought that we would leave her there again for god knows how many weeks. Of course we tried to explain I could see it in her face that she didn't really believe us. They warned us already in the rehabilitation centre that that could happen, but I hoped it wouldn't be true. And James..."

A little helpless Harry clinched her hands together.

"What is it with James?" Alice asked when Harry didn't continue only looked around if she could at least catch a gimp of Dempsey. But he had obvious gone somewhere else.

"I... Since we are back in his apartment I have the feeling that he's avoiding me. That he's not able to handle the situation either"

"What do you mean?"

Harry shrugged her shoulder: "We hardly got time to live a normal live together since he came back to London. Even in the safe house we had other things on our minds but since last week... I don't know. I told him this morning that I wished I was back in the hospital or rehabilitation centre"

Speechless first Alice looked at Harry if she had lost her mind.

"No Alice I meant that. In there I could lean on him, he was there for me, but now..."

Carefully Alice laid a hand on Harry's arm: "Do you know what I think: that you have to give it some time. Remember that these last weeks hadn't been easy for him too. Maybe he even underestimated everything a little bit, thinking that it wouldn't be that worse after all. That he will be there for you as much as he wanted back then, but that he didn't know how to do that right now"

"You think so?" Harry said with a small voice.

"You'll see in a couple of days time, you two will laugh about this whole conversation we had right now!" Alice said firmly, giving Harry's arm a little squeeze: "You know something: I get you something to drink. I bet you can use one"

"Thanks" was all Harry said with her head still by Alice's words.

"Hi Harry!" Dave and Fry showed up at Harry's table: "How are you doing?"

"What can I say? Trying to stay alive"

"Sorry we didn't visit you in the hospital and so on, but Dempsey told us that it would be better not to come"

With a wondered look on her face Harry answered: "He did?"

"Yes" Dave bended his head. It was obvious he was lying and that Harry had seen through him. That he and Frey had not even thought one single moment on visiting her.

"I guess it was Dempsey or maybe Chas" Frey tried to help. Dave punched him hard in his stomach and send him a meaningful look, but Frey didn't understand the hint.

"When will you come back to SI10?" Frey continued.

"Dempsey didn't tell you that?"

"Tell what?"

"I'm not coming back"

"You are not? We always assumed that. Of course we realised that it would be rider difficult with having Dempsey as your boss, and taking orders from him but..."

"I'm not taking orders from Dempsey. Not now, not ever. Will you excuse me now?"

Harry picked her stick up from the ground and stood up. This was where she had been feared for all these weeks.

"Have you seen Dempsey?" Harry asked Spikings leaning heavily on her stick when she finally made it through the mass of people.

"No. But wouldn't it be better for you to sit down girl?" He asked worried: "You look if you can tumble down every minute!"

"I'm fine"

"No you are not"

Spikings took Harry's arm and guided her to an empty table: "I'll be right back. Will see if I can find Dempsey. He has to stay with you not walking around, talking to people..."

Still mumbling in himself about that irresponsible, selfish Yank Harry saw him walk away.

Great, Harry thought. She observed how in the meantime little groups had been formed through the whole pub with laughing and talking people. Most of them had a glass in there hand and it was also obvious that some of them had already drink too much, but nobody seemed to notice that she was forced to sit there on her own. There was even not a sign of Alice anymore. From time she saw some of her, now former, colleagues turn his head to look at her, but as soon as she stared back, the person in particular started a conversation with the one next to him. Harry got more and more the feeling that they were all thinking that having a stroke was contagious. That it was the mean reason that nobody wanted to join her at this table. Harry wanted to scream that she had only been paralysed and that it really wasn't something that would happen to someone else only by talking to her! And where was Dempsey? Why did he leave her alone in here? He must have known how the others would react when she showed up in here. Why didn't she realise that herself? She didn't belong her anymore. At the moment she had signed her resignation, she wasn't one of the boys anymore. She was just Harriet Makepeace. Not even Dempsey's girlfriend because, except from Spikings and Chas, she had never told anyone at work who the father of her babies was. How would they know that they had been romantically involved back then? She was almost certain, that most of them must have thought that Dempsey had returned to London out of duty. To support his, ex, working partner during the most difficult time of her life. And that was it. That there laid much more behind his return was something that was still a secret, but that wouldn't be one anymore after today. They both agreed earlier that they would go public with it as soon as Dempsey became the new Superintendent of the SI10. Just to make an end to all the, possible, rumours and speculations. But it wasn't a moment Harry looked forward to. She hated it to stay in the public eye and what would certainly happen after Dempsey's announcement.

From the corner of her eyes she saw two men taking a seat at the table next to her. It were Fry and Dave. Harry had really no intention to talk to them again. At least not after what they had said earlier to her. They both took a seat with their backs to Harry. Probably they didn't even notice that Harry sat on the other table. Two others joined them and the laughing that Harry had heard earlier, continued.

On that same moment, Spikings returned to Harry's table and bend over to her: "I have found Dempsey, he'll be right be with you after we have had a little conversation with the Commissioner. In the meantime I thought you would like something to drink" And he put a glass in front of Harry on the table: "It wouldn't take long anymore"

Before Harry could react, Spikings had disappeared again. With a deep breath Harry sank backwards in her chair and took a zip out of her glass. Then all of a sudden she pricked up her ears when she was forced to overhear the conversation the other men had at the other table.

"Yes" she heard Dave saying:" That case is finally closed. I hope never come across a one as that again during the rest of my career"

"What about that McAllister guy?"

"After Benjamin O'Brien had been shot, it was a peace of cake to arrest that man. Benjamin was the brain of the whole operation"

"I heard that Dempsey let one of the witnesses walk away"

"Yeah" Dave continued, obvious glad that he stood in the centre of the attention for once and now took every opportunity to stay that for awhile.

"I have never seen Dempsey doing something that stupid before"

"But wasn't that during the time Makepeace laid in the hospital? Or was she in the rehabilitation centre at that point already? Maybe he was with his mind elsewhere"

"Maybe. Fact is that he came away with it, as always. He never told any of us much about Makepeace condition. I was really shocked when I saw her walk in earlier. You know what I think: that he came back to England out of duty but I'm sure he'll regret that now"

"What do you mean?" Fry asked with a frown on his face.

"Well. If he had been staying in New York, he wouldn't have been involved with that Benjamin type in the first place. From what I read in his part of his report, that type had had something against Makepeace. I don't know the exact details. The last part of the report is top secret for all of us. I have no idea why, but I have the feeling that both Chas and Spikings know more about it"

"What really happened outside that safe house. Is that what you mean?" Fry wondered.

"Yeah. After all these weeks that we tried to locate that O'Brien type, all of a sudden he turned up there. Isn't that strange? And I think it even harder to believe that some times later the man is death"

"So you think that Dempsey killed him? Out of revenge and that they don't want us to know that? You can't be serious. "If" the top floor finds that out, Dempsey will be suspended and he can forget his career not only here in England but elsewhere as well"

"I'm not sure of course, but from what I read I can't get it out of my mind that Dempsey, perhaps, took the blame for someone else"

Dave took a zip out of his glass before he softly continued. Harry could hardly understand anymore what he was saying.

"Forensic said that it was a bullet out of Dempsey's gun that killed Benjamin O'Brien. But also that it must have been fired from much further away"

"You mean that Makepeace...?" Fry swallowed hard: "Do you want to say that she killed him?"

"No" Dave shook his head: "There were indeed other fingerprints on his gun, but these were smaller. As from a kid. But Dempsey and Makepeace were there on their own in that safe house, so I can't come up with a reasonable explanation for that"

"Unbelievable" Harry heard Fry saying: "I have Dempsey seen doing strange and unorthodox things... but this?"

Just as he wanted to say more, a voice from the other side of the pub asked for their attention so the four men stood up and walked to where all the others now grouped together. Totally in shock Harry clinched her, trembled, hands around the glass and emptied the rest of it in one zip. Slowly the news, she had just heard, started to sink in. Suddenly she felt literally sick realising that she had been right all the time. That Dempsey hadn't been honest with her about the shooting outside the safe house. Now she also understood his order why he didn't want to have her around during his conversation with Spikings. It hadn't been because he had started to accept her resignation which she so desperately had hoped for. No he had done it because he didn't want her to find out the truth. That was why he had only used the word "fine" when she had asked him about work this last week. On that way he could avoid the fact that she would start ask other questions. How could she have been so blind? She must get out of here. Still shaking, Harry walked over to the bar. All the others were listening now to what the Commissioner had to say and to occupied so no one paid any attention to her when she bend her head over to the barman.

"Can you call a taxi for me?. I want to go home" she asked him softly.

"Are you not feeling well Miss?" the man said.

"Not really"

"Do I have to call someone for you?" the man pointed with his hand in the direction of the Commissioner and the group of listeners.

"No, No. That's not necessary" Harry said quickly: "I can handle it myself"

"Okay. Taxi is on its way" Harry saw the man walking to a phone on the bar.

"I wait outside"

Shrugging his shoulders the barman took another glass and when he saw Harry humbling away. For a short moment, he wanted to call her back. Wanted to ask her if it would be wise to wait outside in her, obvious, not healthy condition. But when he opened his mouth, Harry had been gone already so the barman decided to leave it that way. Hadn't she just said she was perfectly able to handle it herself?


	106. Chapter 106

After the speech of the Commissioner, which took ages to end, and after some words of Spikings, it was time for Dempsey to say something. All the time his eyes had searched the crowd in front of him, but he was unable to locate Harry so he assumed that she was still sitting in the corner of the pub where he had left her behind earlier. All the people who wanted to talk to him, he couldn't do if they weren't there. But now that it was his turn, he only wanted one thing: Harry by his side. To tell her how much she meant to him and what he had, secretly, discussed with Spikings during this last week. Something Harry didn't know about because he wanted to surprise her.

"So Harry will you please come..." Dempsey started and continued with "to join me here?' but after he had said these words, nobody seemed to react. Again Dempsey tried to get Harry's attention by saying: "I know how you hated to stay in the spotlights, but I can't do this on my own. This is something that involves the both of us. So Sweetheart will you please step forwards?"

Still no reaction.

"Harry?" Dempsey tried again, now with a worried voice: "Princess?"

The crowed in front of him started to mumble now. Asking each other what was going on here, but nobody seems to know the answer. Dave and Fry looked first at each other and then at Chas who shrugged his shoulders. He also had no idea what happened.

"Has someone seen Harry?" Dempsey asked with despair in his voice when he finally realised that she wasn't there anymore.

"The last time I saw her, was when she was sitting at that table over there" Spikings answered, blaming himself that he hadn't paid more attention to her now that Dempsey had other, more important, things on his mind.

"Where exactly" Dempsey asked, almost running to the table in the corner maybe hoping that the resolution of Harry's disappearing would lay there.

But except from an empty glass on the table, there was no sign of Harry.

"Where is she now then?" Dempsey asked looking around in be wilderness.

The people only stared at him.

"Are you perhaps looking for a blond woman?"

The barman took Harry's empty glass in his hand and wanted to walk back to the bar.

"Yes" Dempsey said, holding the man back from walking away: "Have you seen her?"

"She asked me to call her a taxi" the man answered if that was usual during a party that someone left.

"A taxi?"

"Yes a taxi"

"And you didn't hold her back?"

"No why should I have done that? She was determinate to leave, saying that she didn't feel well"

Damn. Dempsey run a hand through his hear. He tried to comfort himself, but it didn't help.

"How long ago has that been?"

The barman looked at his watch.

"More than 40 minutes ago. She said that she wanted to wait outside on it so I have no idea how long she's exactly gone"

"Did she tell you where she was going?"

"No. She said she wanted to go home. But in her condition..."

"In her condition I would have appreciate if you had told me that she had plans to leave. You saw us coming in together so you knew that she was with me" Dempsey exasperated directly into the man's face.

"Listen" the barman looked back at Dempsey:" If you are not even capable to look after your wife... Who do you think I am: your babysitter?"

"First, she's not my wife. Not yet. And second: she had probably said that she was perfectly able to handle her own life"

"Exactly"

Dempsey knew it. She would never admit that she couldn't handle it anymore. Why was she always so stubborn? he thought. Deep down inside he started to feel real guilty. Why oh why hadn't he just stay with her just as Spikings had advised him earlier? Saying that Harry felt real uncomfortable in here now she was forced to face her, ex, colleagues. And from whom most of them had no idea how to react on her now they were confronted with her new state of health.

Behind Dempsey's back he heard some people flustering. He couldn't really understand what they were saying, but it wouldn't wonder him if it had something to do with what he had said just seconds ago. He hadn't had in mind to bring up his relationship to Harry this way. The part that Harry wasn't his wife yet, had just slipped out of his mouth. Harry would have probably said, when she had been here, that he hadn't thought about that. But that has changed. But if he couldn't find Harry, he would never been able to prove that.

"Dempsey!" Spikings yelled when he saw the look on Dempsey's face and realising what that look only could mean.

"I'm sorry, I have to go"

"Dempsey! You can't leave. Not now!"

Spikings warned him, trying to grab his arm, but Dempsey was out of reach already. He headed for the door and pushed it open. A little drizzling rain hit his face. Without looking, he ran to his car, jumped inside and started the engine. Before he drove away he saw Spikings standing in the entrance of the pub. If he wanted to make one last effort to hold him back. Dempsey saw him opening his mouth to yell his name for a third time to warn him. He had probably completely jeopardise his changes for a further career at SI10 by running away, but he didn't care. All he cared about was Harry and his family. That were the most important things in his life. Hopefully it wasn't too late already.


	107. Chapter 107

When Dempsey parked his car in front of the apartment building, his first look went upstairs. But as far as he could see it from there, there was no movement at all to be seen in his apartment. In his rush to the elevators he almost knocked an elderly lady, Mrs. Robinson, down who left the building.

"You are in a big rush" she said.

Dempsey mumbled an excuse. The last thing he needed right now was a discussion about his behaviour.

"I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk to you now"

"But Mr. Dempsey..."

But he wasn't listening anymore. When he had done that, Mrs. Robinson would have told him that Harry had left the building in a hurry.

"Mr. Dempsey..." she tried. Again without any luck.

The lady shook her head and saw Dempsey disappear in the elevator. She remembered what Mr. Crane had told her some weeks ago. That it was a nice couple, Mr. Dempsey and that lady of him, but that there was something strange about them. And now that she had met one of them, she got that same impression.

In the meantime, Dempsey waited impatiently in the elevator till it, finally, reached the top floor of the building. Once out of it, he ran to his apartment, still hoping to find Harry sitting on the couch inside. But when he unlocked the door, and yelled Harry's name, all he got in return was total silence. He opened the door to the living room, no Harry. The same in the kitchen, the bathroom and the bedroom were Sophia and Michael had slept. They only indication that someone had been there recently was a closet which stood wide open. To his horror he also realised that all of Sophia's clothes were missing, but that most of Michael's were still there.

"Harry?" Dempsey said, quietly opening the door to the master bedroom.

Dresses and shoes were spread over the whole floor. If someone had thrown them out of the closet not caring were they fell down. And one of the bags, on top of the closet, was also gone. What had Harry done? For awhile Dempsey sat down on the edge of the bed and didn't know what to do. Where had she gone to? Back to her own house? He had doubts about that, but he had to consider it. When he entered the hallway, his view went almost automatically to his answering machine. A red light was flickering on it. Hopefully Dempsey pushed the button down to listen to the messages. But every message he was forced to listen to was from the same person, Angela. No one from Harry. Angela's first message wasn't one to get worried about. She only asked him to contact her and Mike. In the second one, from 10 minutes later, she seemed a little more concern and in the third one, she almost begged him to phone them as soon as he got home. Saying that it was real important. Not knowing what he had to expect he dialled Angela's and Mike's phone number. It was if Angela had waited for his call and sat down next to the equipment, because after only one ring she picked the receiver up.

"James! What took you so long?"

"I just came home" he started to defence himself.

"Can you come over? It's important"

"Do you know where Harry is?" he asked impatient.

"James. Not over the phone"

"What?" he almost exasperated: "Just tell me"

"I can't"

"Why not? What happened?"

"I don't know. Just come to see for yourself"

Even more worried as he had been before, Dempsey ran back into the master bedroom. He throw his jacket of his DJ on the bed and slipped out of his black trousers before he got himself changed in a t-shirt and jeans. Then he packed some other clothes into a bag together with the piece of paper assuming that when his instincts would be right, this could have been a long day and even more longer night that laid in front of him. Just before he wanted to leave the bedroom he remembered the little box still sitting in the pocket of his jacket. Taking in a deep breath he carefully proportioned the box on his clothes and zipped the back closed. With his car keys in one hand and the bag in his other he closed the front door of his apartment behind him. This time he didn't even had the patience to wait for the elevator. He just took the stairs to run down where he almost bumped into Mrs. Robinson again.

"I see, nothing had improved since the last time we met" she said holding the door of the building open for him: "You are still in a rush"

"I'm sorry, I..." Dempsey started.

"Drive safely young man. That girlfriend of yours needs you in one piece"

"Yeah, if I'm able to find her" Dempsey mumbled between gritted teeth's.

"Did you say something?" Mrs. Robinson looked at him with a worried look on her face: "What is it with these young people?" she wondered when she saw Dempsey running away and jumping into his car: "Always in a hurry. Never time to have a decent conversation with you"

But Dempsey had total other things on his mind. He tried to analyse what Angela had said to him. That he needed to come over to see for himself. What had she meant with that? Crossing the limit of speed not once but twice, he parked his car in front of Angela's and Mike's home. As soon as he left the car, the front door opened.

"Come in" Angela took Dempsey's arm and guided him inside.

"What's wrong?" he asked when Angela had pushed him down on the couch and took a seat next to him.

"I was hoping that you could tell me" Angela started, clinching her hands together.

"I have no idea"

"Well, let me tell you this. Harry showed up here more than an hour ago. I have never seen her in a state like this before"

"Come on Angela, it can't be that bad?" Dempsey was sure that she was really overreacting everything a little bit here.

"You don't believe me, don't you? She was screaming, saying that she never wanted to see you or Michael again in her entire life!"

Angela waited a second, looking directly at Dempsey now: "And this time she really meant it James. She was total unreasonable. She walked over to the bedroom where Sophia was taking a nap and run inside. I tried to hold her back when she started to collect Sophia's belongings into a bag. But she just pushed me away. Then she took Sophia out of her bed. The little girl immediately started to cry. I felt so sorry for her, but there was nothing I could do. Harry just didn't want me around her anymore. To make things even worse..." Angela hesitated before she continued: "On that moment Michael walked also into the bedroom. He had heard Sophia crying and wanted to know what was going on. But Harry didn't answer him. She only looked at him with a face I will never forget. Then she took Sophia's hand and walked away with her"

Speechless Dempsey had heard everything Angela had told him. Then slowly something started to sink in.

With a small voice he said: "Don't tell me: she left Michael on his own in here?"

"Yes she did. I yelled after her that she couldn't do that, but she wasn't listening"

"And where is Michael now?"

"Mike took him with him to the swimming pool. I think they will be back every minute"

Dempsey stood up from the couch and walked over to the window. With eyes which didn't see a thing, he looked outside. What the hell was wrong with Harry, he thought. Had her action been a reaction on Michael's behaviour of last week? Or was there more lying behind it? But before Dempsey could think of something else, the door to the living room flew open and a voice screamed his name.

"James!" the voice said and a second later two arms were wrapped around his middle and a head buried against his body.

"He Sport" Dempsey said, caressing the boys hair with his left hand while his right one hold Michael's body tight against his.

"Harry said she never wanted to see me anymore!"

After Michael had said these words, Dempsey felt the boys body trembling against his.

"She didn't want to see me anymore either. But I'm sure she didn't mean that"

"Then why did she say them?" Michael asked looking up at Dempsey now.

"I don't know"

Dempsey saw Michael biting his lip: "She just left me here. I thought...I thought"

When Michael didn't continue, Dempsey took Michael's chin in his hand.

"What did you thought? That I would let you down as well? Is that what you thought?"

Michael nodded his head: "Sophia is your daughter, I'm nothing from you"

"Wrong"

Dempsey lifted Michael up in his arms and sat him down on his lap after he had made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Remember where we talked about this last week?"

"Yeah"

"I wanted to tell her that and more during this afternoon's ceremony. But never got a chance to do that"

"Because she disappeared? To show up here unexpectedly?"

"Exactly. And I have not the finest idea what her made running away. Something must happened. I only wished what and where she is now"

Michael laid his head against Dempsey's shoulder. Softly he whispered: "Maybe she found out for herself what really happened during the shooting outside the safe house"

Bewildered Dempsey looked down at the blond head. Could that have been indeed the reason that Harry had left the party? Chas and Spikings were the only ones, except him, who knew what had happened. And he knew for sure that they would never talk about it. To nobody and certainly not to Harry against his explicit will. So "if" she knew more and perhaps even knew everything, how did she found out?


	108. Chapter 108

"Michael? Did you tell Harry something?"

"No. You told me not to do so. That's why I tried to avoid her as much as possible this last week. I was so scared that I would say something and that..."

Tears started to fall down over Michael's cheeks.

"Oh Sport, I'm sorry. It must have been so very hard for you. And I did the same. I avoid her as much as possible too. Only because I didn't want that she should start asking questions. This morning she said to me that she wished that she was still in the hospital, the rehabilitation centre or even in the safe house"

"She did?" with his big blue eyes Michael looked at Dempsey: "Why?"

"Because she thought I laid her down since then. I said that wasn't true, but all I had eyes for this last week were the things I was working on. To built on our future, but I forgot to pay attention to her feelings"

"Then why don't you make it up with her then?"

Silently Angela had listen to the conversation between Michael and Dempsey. She was more and more convinced now that Harry had had all the reasons to disappear. She was even able to understand Harry's behaviour. She would have probably done the same.

"Believe me. There's nothing more in this whole wide world that I wanted to do more. But for that I have to know where she is"

"Maybe she went to Winfield Hall?" Angela suggested: "She always went there when she had to overcome a difficult time in the past"

"Yeah, but before our visit from a couple of weeks ago, she hadn't been there for years"

"Where else could she be? She knows that she can't come back here at the moment. Not return to her own place, not to your apartment so the only place that's left is the place where she grows up. Where she has always been happy"

Wrong. Not always. But even Angela didn't know what had happened at Winfield Hall back then. Dempsey was convinced of that. Otherwise she should have never said that.

"And where she can talk to her father" Angela continued: "The only one she can trust besides of you of course" she said with a little smile.

"We have to give it a try. Come on Sport. Pack your bag"

Dempsey let Michael slip of his lap, but the little boy didn't move.

"What's the matter?"

"Don't you remember what Sophia said about Winfield Hall?"

"You mean about the horses?"

"Yeah and that she didn't want me there. What if she's still saying that and Harry too?"

Dempsey knelt down on his knees to look Michael straight in his eyes.

"I'm sure that Sophia will be glad to see you there"

Still not really convinced Michael walked away. A little time later Angela and Dempsey heard him talking to Mike about horses. That he wished that he wasn't so afraid for them.

"James?"

"Hmmmm"

"Since when is Harry permitted to drive again?"

It had been a question that had crossed Angela's mind since Harry had shown up at her front door.

"Damn"

The reaction Angela got on that, innocent, question said enough.

"She is not permitted to drive! At least not now" Dempsey exasperated loudly.

"I thought so"

It was if someone had punched him hard in his stomach. Suddenly he felt literally sick. She had not only jeopardized her own life, but that of Sophia as well. Why? But Dempsey knew immediately the answer on that. To prove him something. Again.

"We have to go" was all he could say, if every minute he staid longer would bring more misery into his life.

"Are you ready?" he said to Michael who appeared in the door way with a brown bag.

"Yeah. I'm ready"

"Let's go then"

In the hallway, Angela laid a hand on Dempsey's arm: "If you have been able to find her, will you please give me a call? You don't have to say something but just let me know that she's safe?"

"I will" he gave Angela's hand a little squeeze before he picked Michael's bag up from the ground and took the boy's hand in his. Hand in hand they walked over to Dempsey's car. He let Michael climb on the back seat and fastened his seat bell before he walked over to the driver seat and slipped inside. For a short moment of time he clinched his hands around the steering wheel. Then he run a hand through his hair and looked into his back seat mirror to give Michael a little wink.

"Is it far away to Winfield Hall?" Michael leant a little forwards.

"It's in Kent"

"Kent? I have never been in Kent before"

"There's a first time for everything"

"Harry will be fine" was all Michael answered, looking out of the window next to him.

With a deep frown on his forehead Dempsey started the engine. Why had Michael said that? To comfort him or himself?

During the whole journey to Kent, Dempsey expected half and half to be forced to see a vehicle lying up side down at the side of the road. With Harry and Sophia sitting inside. Both dead. But to his relief, his nightmare didn't become reality. Nothing unusual happened and when Dempsey parked his car in front of Winfield Hall he saw till his big relief another car standing there. Harry's.

"I told you"

Michael gave him a big smile when Dempsey opened the back seat of the car to let him out.

"Wow. This indeed looks like a castle"

With his mouth half open, Michael looked up at the building. Dempsey could still remember the first time he had been here. He had been even impressed as Michael was now. Only back then he hadn't known that this had been the place where Harry grow up. He walked over to the boot of the car and took his and Michael's bag out of it. Still impressed, Michael's hand slipped into Dempsey's. He was scared. Dempsey could see it in the way he was acting. Scared for how Harry and Sophia would react. Well he wasn't the only one. To be honest, Dempsey wasn't really convinced either. Taking Michael's hand a little faster in his, he climbed the few steps to the front door of Winfield Hall and rang the bell. It took a few minutes before a man appeared in the door way.

"James? This seems to be a day filled with surprises. First Harry who showed up here unexpectedly and now you"

Lord Winfield opened the door a little wider to let him in. Dempsey had to drag Michael almost inside. It was if the little boys feet's refused to move.

"And who is this?" the old man asked when he saw that Dempsey didn't come alone this time but that there was a small, obvious very frighten little guy accompany him.

"This is Michael"

"Michael? Don't tell me...you have a son?"

"No" Dempsey rushed to say: "He's not my son. Not yet. It's a long story"

Lord Winfield frowned his eyebrows and closed the door behind them.

"Abbott not around today?" Dempsey asked for the butler putting the two bags in the hallway.

"No he went out this morning to do some shopping and just today I got company. Why didn't you or Harry tell me you had plans to come over?"

"We didn't know"

Michael who was still holding Dempsey's hand if he never wanted to let him go again said softly: "James supposed to be celebrating at the moment"

"Celebrating? Then what are you doing here?"

Lord Winfield head switched between Dempsey and Michael and then back to Dempsey.

"Well?" he asked when he didn't get an answer.

"Harry run away"

Lord Winfield shook his head: "I suspected something like that already when Harry arrived here earlier with Sophia. I could see that she wasn't herself but as always she refused to say what happened"

"Well, you are as much in the dark as I am Freddie, because I have not the finest idea either"

Dempsey's hand clinched a little faster around Michael's.

"Can you tell me where she is now?"

"She went straight to the rooms you used during your last time visit. But James..." Lord Winfield took Dempsey's arm when he saw that the other man made plans to walk away with Michael as his shadow behind him: "She didn't want to see you"

"She had said that to me before"

"Maybe back then she didn't really mean it, but this time..."

A little helpless Dempsey looked at Lord Winfield.

"I need to talk to her. I really do"

"James. I don't give you much chance"

The two men and the little guy were still standing in the hallway when suddenly another voice filled the air: Harry's. None of them had seen her coming. Three heads turned around in her direction.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the voice said: "I thought I made it very clearly to Angela that I had no intention to see you again!"

"Harry?" Dempsey tried when he saw Harry turning around almost at the same time as she appeared on the scene.

"Harry wait"

As fast as Harry could she tried to walk away, which was still not very fast, at least not fast enough to disappear before Dempsey had been able to reach her.

"Why are you so mad at me? What have I done this time?" Dempsey asked grabbing her arm to hold her back.

With her blue eyes filled with anger Harry freed herself out of Dempsey's grip and stood still for a second to look him straight in his eyes.

"During these last weeks you asked me over and over again to trust you. And I did. I trusted you with my whole heart. Any idea how it feels when all of a sudden I found out that you have been lying to me all the time?"

"What?" totally surprised, Dempsey could only stare back at Harry: "I never lied to you!"

"Oh really?"

She punched a finger in Dempsey's chest.

"What do you think of this whole last week?"

"I avoid you. I'm sorry for that, but that doesn't mean I lied to you!"

He still had no idea where she was talking about and that was clear to Harry now as well.

"I would have preferred to hear the truth out of your mouth. Not to have to hear it secretly out of Dave's!"

A little suspicious Dempsey answered: "What truth?"

"About the shooting outside the safe house. You didn't shoot Benjamin, did you? Well you don't have to hide it from me anymore, because I know exactly who it was. How could you be so irresponsible, even if I warned you?"

"Oh and what you did was justified?" Dempsey exasperated with anger in his voice. Not responding on the things she had said to him.

"I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Oh yes you did Lady. You took your car to drive and you are not aloud to do that! You know that as much as I do"

Between narrowed eyes Harry looked at him.

"If you had told me what happened last week I wouldn't have any reason to walk or to drive away. But you didn't. Obvious it was much easier for you to keep your mouth shot and to let me think that you used your gun to shoot Benjamin"

"You never asked me about it anymore"

"I did that because I had no reason not to believe that it hadn't been you. But, I know who it was now. Leave me alone. I told you the first day that you appeared at my bedside in the hospital that I didn't need you in my life. And the more I think about it, the more I know I had been right back then. Return to London or even better, go back to New York. I don't want you around me or Sophia anymore!"

Dempsey wanted to grab Harry's arm to hold her back again, but she pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me! I have enough of you!"

Knowing that every word he should say now, would make things even worse, Dempsey let Harry walk away. With a big bang the door closed behind her, leaving a speechless Lord Winfield and a devastated Dempsey and Michael behind.


	109. Chapter 109

"Where is she talking about? And who is Benjamin?" the old man asked worried when he was forced to watch what kind of impact Harry's word had had not only on Dempsey but on Michael as well.

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the library where they all took a seat to sit down. Silently Michael took a seat next to Dempsey.

"Remember the last time we were here?" Dempsey started.

"Yes. I told you about Charles and what had happened here"

"Shortly after our visit Harry and I found out that Charles real name was Benjamin"

When Dempsey didn't continue, only wrapped his arm around Michael's shoulders, the little guy softly added: "And he was my father"

"Your father? You are Charles, correction, Benjamin's son?"

Michael silently nodded his head.

"Yeah"

"But how? I mean…" It was obvious that Lord Winfield was totally confused by now.

"And Harry is mad about that?" Lord Winfield suggested.

"Not about that. About something else"

"About what then?"

"I wished I knew. But this time I really have no idea. I think, I need some time to think things over" Dempsey stood up from the couch and walked out of the room. A minute later they heard the front door closed behind him.

"Where is he going? He's not going back to London or even New York, leaving me here behind? Isn't he?" worried and not knowing what to think of the situation, Michael also stood up from the couch as if he wanted to follow Dempsey just to be sure that the man would not secretly sneak away.

"Don't think so. Give him some time to be on his own. As he said: to think things over" Lord Winfield suggested: "Why don't you tell me something more about Charles, Benjamin. About your father"

"There's not so much to tell about. I hadn't seen him for years and then..." Michael hesitated for a moment. Would it be wise to tell the old man about everything that had happened these last few weeks? Would he permitted to do that? "James is trying if it would be possible to adopt me. But that can only happen when he and Harry can offer me a stable family life" Michael said after he had told the man his life story.

Pacing the room now, Michael run a hand through his hair.

"I don't want to go back to that orphanage. James assured me that I didn't have to go back there. But what if Harry and he will break up their relationship! What happens to me then?"

With his eyes filled with tears he looked at Lord Winfield: "I want them to be happy. Together"

"Believe me, I want that to, but I'm afraid there's not much we can do about it. If they decided to split up, it will be their decision"

"Why does your daughter always want to prove herself? Especially to Dempsey? Why is that?"

"Because, after all these years, she's still thinking that he is not taking her seriously"

As with that resignation of hers from the force, Michael thought.

"But that wouldn't say that she has always been right! And I'm sure she's not been right now either. If I could only find out _why_ she's so mad at James. What if he decides to go back to New York? That he'll never return to London anymore?" Michael asked, in fact too afraid to hear the answer.

"I don't know. Sometimes I regretted it that I had phoned him about Harry's condition. Maybe he had been better of if he hadn't known anything about it at all. Now he feels a great responsibility for Sophia. That's why I don't understand why my daughter blamed him for being so irresponsible. As far as I know him, he will never be irresponsible if it has something to do with Harry but certainly not with Sophia"

"Then there will be only one option left open for me!"

"Where are you going?"

Lord Winfield watched how Michael walked to the door with a determined look on his face.

"I'm going to talk to Harry. Where are their rooms you talked about earlier?"

"Michael? I don't want to disappoint you, but I won't give you much chance. I know how stubborn my daughter can be"

"I have to do it. I just have to. They had done so much for me, I must give it a try to bring them back together again. Even if this is the last thing I can do for them"

"Don't say, I didn't warn you. But I see it on your face that I will not be able to change your mind. Their rooms are on your left side, at the end of the corridor over there"

Lord Winfield had opened the door in the meantime and laid a hand on Michael's shoulder.

"I have never seen such a brave kid in my entire life. How old are you?"

"Six"

"With all my heart, I hope that there comes a day that I'll be able to welcome you as a new member of the family and to thank you. All I can say now is that James and Harry must be very proud of you"

"I hope so"

What did he mean with that? Lord Winfield wondered. To welcome him as a new family member or the fact that Harry and James would be proud of him for what he was trying to do for them now? Feeling worried about the difficult conversation with his daughter that Michael had to face in a couple of minutes time, he saw the little guy pass the hallway and disappear in the corridor. "Good luck" was the only thing the old man whispered softly to nobody in particular anymore before he turned around and closed the door behind him.


	110. Chapter 110

Slowly Michael walked through the corridor Lord Winfield had pointed out at him. With big eyes he looked around. Almost the whole wall at one side of the corridor was filled with furniture. But furniture so old he had never seen in his life before. A secretary, a bookcase and even a wooden box. As much as he wanted to take a look in it to discover what would be inside, he reminded himself that he wasn't here for fun but that he was here on a special mission. For a short moment he stood still in front of a big, painted, portrait. One of the three which hang above the furniture. It was a portrait of a woman. The lady looked a little bit like Harry, Michael thought. She or Dempsey had never told him something about her forefathers, but Michael could see the resemblance in the woman's face. This was definitely a portrait of Harry's mother painted when she had been around Harry's age. Still with his head by that portrait, Michael turned the corner and before he realised it bumped up to an old armour.

"Aaah" Michael cried out trying to save the armour from tumbling down, but it was too late already.

With a lot of noise the armour hit the ground.

"Oh great" Michael mumbled to himself: "Just what I needed" he added when he knelt down seeing the mess he caused.

At the end of the corridor he heard a door opening and a voice that said: "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't look and..."

But before he could continue, the voice interrupted him: "What are you doing here anyway? You are not suppose to be here!"

With a guilty look on his face Michael stood up and walked over to the person who was standing in the doorway.

"Harry? Can we talk?"

Astound Harry could only stare back at the little guy who was now standing in front of her.

"Talk? All of a sudden you want to talk with me? After you had hardly said a word to me during this last week?"

But before Michael could answer, Harry started to get suspicious.

"Oh no. Don't tell me...James has send you. I should have known it!"

"No" Michael shook his head: "He didn't"

"Well you can save your efforts. I don't want to talk to you"

But Michael had no intention to give up. When he looked Harry straight in her face, he could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and swollen.

"Why are you so mad at James?" Michael tried, putting his hands in his pockets.

"It's something I don't want to discuss. And certainly not with you. It's sweet what you are trying to do here, but this really is a thing between Dempsey and me"

Harry turned around and wanted to close the door behind her to make and end to the conversation, but Michael was faster. He didn't want to take advantage of Harry's condition, but he really needed to talk to her, so before Harry could hold him back, he slipped along her into the bedroom.

"He? What's this? I thought I made myself clear. GET OUT OF HERE!"

"I'm not leaving. Not before you told me why you said all these horrible things to James. That you want him to return to London or even New York! Is that what you really want? That he leaves you and Sophia?"

Knowing that Michael wouldn't give up, Harry walked also inside and closed the door now behind her.

"No of course not" she said softly: "I don't want to see him go, but I don't have a choice anymore"

Michael waited till Harry took a seat in one of the chairs in the corner of the room, before he sat down in another one next to her.

"You always have a choice"

"Not always"

"Wouldn't it be fair at least to tell him what exactly he did wrong this time in your eyes?"

"He has been very irresponsible. I have had the same experiences once before with Robert. I can't handle a second time anymore. All I want is a lover, a friend which I can trust. But obvious is that too much to ask for me"

"But you can trust him! Why don't you believe him?"

"He's hiding things for me"

"Like what?"

"About that shooting for instance"

"He didn't tell you that he wasn't the one who shot my father. So what? Is that such a big deal?"

"It is. Because then I should have known who did it and I wouldn't have to face the fact to hear it from others"

"Which others?"

A little fear started to rise inside Michael's body.

"My former colleagues"

"Who? And what did they exactly say?"

"That forensic found some fingerprints on Dempsey's gun"

"So"

"Fingerprints of a child. So this can only mean one thing. That Dempsey never laid his gun back in the drawer. I warned him over and over again that a gun is not a toy but as always as it comes to this subject, he's not listening"

"That's not true!" Michael said, standing up from his chair.

"Not? How do you know that? You wasn't there"

"I was"

"Look. You don't have to defend him. I know that in your eyes, Dempsey is a short of a hero and that he can't do anything wrong but even heroes make mistakes. But I won't tolerate them if they involve my daughter"

"Your daughter?" Michael repeated softly to astound to pronounce Sophia's name.

"Yes. Dempsey always promises me things, but at the end..."

"Wait a minute" Michael clinched his hands together when slowly he started to realise what Harry has been thinking all the time.

"Did Chas or you boss Spikings talked to you about that shooting?"

"No. Why are you asking me that?"

"Then who did?"

"I overheard Dave who has been involved with the case from the beginning together with Dempsey and Frey this afternoon. Michael?" Harry added worried when she looked at the guys face and saw the sad look lying on it: "Are you alright?"

When Michael sat down on his chair again he buried his head in his hands: "I told him that it wouldn't be wise what he was trying to do"

"About whom are we talking here? James? What did he do? Michael! Don't tell me that he promised you things too"

Harry saw him biting his lip.

"James promised..." He waited a second before he started again: "He promised that he would tell you the truth when the time would be right for it"

"Truth? What truth?"

"About the shooting. He didn't want you to be worried"

"Worried? What right does he think that I shouldn't be worried? When Sophia grabbed his gun to shoot someone"

Michael was still nodding his head. He was too afraid to look at Harry when he, finally, managed to say: "You thought that Sophia...? It wasn't Sophia who took James gun out of the drawer Harry. Your daughter or James have nothing to do with it. It was _me _who shot Benjamin. Yes, you heard it right. I shot my own father"


	111. Chapter 111

"You did it? And not Sophia?" Totally speechless Harry sank backwards in her chair: "I think I'm dreaming"

"No. You are not dreaming" Michael carefully laid a hand on Harry's arm.

"Probably you forgot that James and I had a little conversation earlier that day about guns. He explained everything to me how a gun works and how to put bullets in it. He put the gun back in his holster after that so that it wouldn't be dangerous for us anymore"

"I don't believe this. That I have had it so wrong! What have I done?"

"You thought that James broke his promise to you which he really didn't"

"But what happened then that night? And why did he refuse to tell me more about it in the first place?"

Michael ran a hand through his hair. Not knowing exactly what to do or to say. Why had he been agree with Dempsey not to tell her immediately the whole story? Now _he _found himself confronted with the consequences of that decision and not Dempsey. That wasn't fair. Back then it sounded so right, but now...

Harry, on the other hand, could imagine which thoughts must have been circulating through Michael's head at the moment. And the difficulty he had with breaking his promise to Dempsey.

"You can tell me" Harry tried to encourage him: "It will not hurt your relationship you have with James. I can assure you that"

If these were exactly the words Michael needed he started to talk: "I heard your voice, screaming, when I laid in bed. First I thought I just had a bad dream but then I opened my eyes and your screaming was still there. So I jumped out of the bed. Just in time to see a man, all dressed up in black, running to the front door followed by James. I think they had no idea that I was there as well, because they didn't pay any attention to me. Knowing that James didn't carry his gun, I ran to the bedroom. But I had no idea first where he had put it. So I opened the closet and to search for it but without any luck. Then I tried the drawer of the bedside table and in the top drawer I found where I was looking for. I grabbed the gun out and then checked if it was loaded. My only goal was to handle the gun over to James so he could use it when he needed it, but when I came outside I saw James and that other man rolling over the ground so there was no way I could give him the gun. Then all of a sudden I saw that the other man picked something up from the ground. First I had no idea what it was, but then I recognised it as being a knife. With that knife in his hand he run up to James. That afternoon James had told me that it would permitted to use your gun out of self defence. So before I realised it and knew what I was doing I released the safety lock and fired. At the last moment James managed to do a little step aside and the bullet hit the man in black. When James removed the man's mask I could see the other man's face. It turned out to be my father. I just stood there paralysed in the doorway with the gun in both of my hands. James walked up to me when he realised that my father was dead and took the gun out of my hands. I started to tremble and cry. James hold me tight against his body and guided me inside the safe house. He suggested that it would be better not to tell you for the time being what really happened. That he would take the blame on him for the shooting, because in that case it should have been the only way for me to stay out of the whole situation. That I had been gone through enough already and so did you. He didn't want that people could give me another mark on my record so that they had an opportunity to send me to jail. But that he had to tell Spikings and Chas what really happened that night. That I don't have to be worried, that everything's gonna be fine. So I crept into my bed again and James went back to the bathroom where you were still lying in the bath. Worried sick, I guess, because you had no idea about what was going on"

"And Sophia?" Harry asked softly trying hard to let all she had just heard to sink in.

"She was still sleeping. Hadn't heard a thing"

Carefully Harry wrapped her arm around Michael's shoulders.

"I think that with that action of yours you have saved Dempsey's life! If you hadn't shot Benjamin, I'm sure that James should have been dead by now in spite of your father"

"I suppose so" Michael whispered with his head lying against Harry's shoulder.

"No. I know so. Now I understand why you were so determinate and refused to talk to me this whole week and you only seemed to be cheerful when James was around. Did you talk every night together about the shooting?" Harry suggested when she remembered the words Dempsey had said to her over and over again these last few days that she had to give Michael some time.

"Yes. I found it so hard to keep it a secret for you so I thought that I could better avoid you. I told James how hard it had been for me shortly after we arrived here and he said that he felled so guilty. But he thought he did the right thing back then Harry. He did it for me. To protect you and me and I believe him, I really do and I hope you'll do that too"

A little sheepish, Harry pressed Michael's body a little faster to hers.

"I had it all so wrong. I bet I spoiled a big day in James life after all by running away and not let him tell what he had to say to me" she said softly in the guys hair.

Michael lifted his head up to look Harry straight in her eyes.

"It's not only that"

"What do you mean? Is there more I should know about?"

"I don't know. James wouldn't tell me when I asked him about what he had been doing during the day either. All I know is that it wasn't all work related why he had been so much away this last week. That there were other things as well he worked very hard on. You have to ask him if you want to know"

"Do you have any idea where James could be by now?"

"No" Michael shook his head: "He said he needed some time to be on his own, to think things over"

"I see"

"But he not drove away. That's for sure"

With a little smile on her face, Harry put a kiss on Michael's head.

"Thank you for telling me. I think I have an idea where he can be"

"You do?" Michael asked wondered.

"Yes. Can you keep an eye on Sophia?"

"Sure"

Michael freed himself out of Harry's grip and watched how she stood up out of the chair and picked up her stick from the ground.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" he asked when he saw her stretching her leg with a painful look on her face.

"No thanks. I have had enough help from you for one day already. Just make yourself comfortable in here. When Sophia wakes up you can go to my father. He knows what to do with her. I would be back as soon as possible"

With a deep frown on his face Michael sat back in his chair and started to pray. Something he hadn't done in a very long time. But this time the prayers didn't involve him. No this time the prayers involved Harry and James and his hope that they would finally be able to talk and open up to each other in a way they had better done weeks, months or even years before.


	112. Chapter 112

When Harry finally managed to reach the graveyard she saw a man kneeling in front of one of the gravestones. The whole walk had been a real nightmare for her. First she had almost tumbled the few steps down in front of Winfield Hall. She was still not used to the fact that, in general, she was only able to climb a stair up or down with steadying herself with her hands on both sides. With putting her stick on every step and turning her body in a side wards position she made it. But it had taken a lot of her energy. And this was only the beginning. The hardest part, a talk with Dempsey, was next.

"I knew I would find you here" Harry said when she stood next to him.

No reaction.

"James? We need to talk"

Again no reaction. It was if he didn't hear her, or had no intention to listen to her.

"Can we sit down on that bench over there for awhile?" Harry asked hopefully.

The only reaction she got, was that Dempsey stood up and passed her without saying a word.

"James? We really need to talk" Harry yelled desperately against his back.

"Talk?" she heard him saying: "Why should I? Every time we try to talk it ends in another argument or misunderstanding. You told me loud and clear what you want me to do Harry. Well, in the meantime I've made my decision too. If you want me so desperate to leave, I'll leave. But then I will return to New York not London"

"No!" was all Harry could come up with, grabbing Dempsey's arm: "You assured me over and over again that you would never leave me"

"Don't you think it's a little different now?"

"But you have a job here!"

Just ignoring her he put his hands in his pockets. Then he turned around to add something to his last words.

"As long as Sophia doesn't have to go to school yet, I want her to stay 6 months with me in America. The other 6 months she can stay with you here in England"

"What?"

In total disbelieve Harry looked up at Dempsey face: "You can't be serious!"

"I'm dead serious. I'll make arrangements for that as soon as I'm back in London"

Harry just stood there. Not able to say something. She only had the feeling if her whole life has fallen apart.

"If you are agree with that you'll hear from my lawyer" he said avoiding her look.

Harry still didn't move. Hoping against one's better judgement that Dempsey would turn around to say to her that he didn't mean what he had said to her, but he didn't. With tears streaming over her cheeks she saw him disappear inside Winfield Hall. Totally devastated she sank down on the bench and buried her head in her hands. For half an hour she just sat there. Crying. Feeling so miserable as she had never felt before in her entire life and not knowing what to do anymore. With despair she thought back at the song "What's Another Year" that had mean so much to her during the time that Dempsey had been away these last two years. Back then she had always cherished that perhaps one day she would hear for him again. Now it was different. Now she knew that she had definitely lost everything that she owned.

After Dempsey had entered the hall way of Winfield Hall he walked directly up to the rooms he and Harry had shared before. Deep in his thought he turned the corner and almost felt over something. When he gave it a closer look, it turned out to be one of the armours which always stood in the corridor. How did that thing come there? Had it tumbled down by itself or what? Still looking over his shoulder and wondering, he opened the door of the bedroom. It was not before the figure that laid on the bed started to speak that Dempsey realised that he wasn't alone in the room. When Dempsey didn't say a word only closed the door behind him, the figure said: "Are you alone? And where is Harry? She said she knew where you were. Did you miss her or what?"

"No" was all Dempsey answered.

Michael couldn't believe his ears, jumped off the bed to stay in front of Dempsey.

"So?" he asked.

"So what?"

"Did you talk?"

"About what?" Dempsey said with his back to Michael in the meantime picking a bag out of the closet.

Till Michael's astonishment, Dempsey started to throw some clothes into the bag.

"What are you doing?"

"We are leaving"

"Leaving? We just arrived here!"

"And now we are returning to London. And then I'm going back to New York"

"London? New York? But..."

"No buts Michael. Where is your bag?"

"Still downstairs I think"

"Fine"

Michael looked at Dempsey's fanatic way of pushing Sophia's other belongings in another bag not knowing how to react.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked finally with a worried voice.

No answer. Only Dempsey zipped the bag closed and started to fill a second one.

"What about Harry? Is she coming with us?"

"I don't know. Suppose she will stay here" he heard Dempsey saying.

"Why is she staying behind if we return to London?"

With despair in his voice Dempsey answered: "Will you stop asking questions! It's something I don't want to discuss. And certainly not with you. This really is a thing between Harry and me"

"Funny" Michael reacted with a weak smile on his face: "That are exactly the same words Harry said to me earlier"

"Harry?" Dempsey asked surprised now, turning around to pay his full attention at Michael: "You talked to her? When? Where?"

"Here inside the bedroom. Half an hour ago or so"

Michael put his hands in his pockets before he continued: "If you had been honest with her in the first place, you two should have been celebrating by now in the way you planned!"

"At the moment she's not ready for that"

"How do you know that? I got a total different impression when I told her what really happened that night!"

"You told her?"

"I had to"

"No you hadn't!"

Dempsey grabbed Michael's arm and pushed him back on the bed.

"You haven't talk to her haven't you?" Michael made the only conclusion he could come up with when he interpreted Dempsey's reaction right in this.

"She wanted to talk, but I had nothing to say to her anymore"

"So you have still no idea why she ran away this afternoon?"

"No. Not really" Dempsey admitted with great difficulties feeling real uncomfortable. When he thought back to what had happened earlier, at the grave yard, he realised that he should have known that Harry hadn't came up to him without a reason.

"What did she tell you?"

Dempsey sat down on the bed looking at Michael who didn't look back.

"If you had told her that it had been _me _who had shot my own father then she would never be so upset when she overheard your colleagues discussing the case this afternoon"

"With other words: that you did it made her run away?"

"Not exactly"

"Then what exactly"

Michael took a deep breath.

"It's not fair. You wanted to spare Harry. But what about me?" Michael replied desperately.

"I told you already that I'm sorry about that. But what does this have to do with Harry?"

"You have really no idea?"

"No"

"Harry thought that it had been Sophia who shot my father" Michael answered.

"Sophia?" Dempsey repeated blankly. Bewildered he clinched his hands together. This had been something he had never thought about. Not in a million years.

Softly Michael started to tell him everything Harry had told him.

"I don't know every detail. The only thing I know is that your colleagues didn't mention a name of the shooter when they talked about the case so she thought that you put the gun back at the bedside table. That Sophia found it there, took it and fired. She had forgotten that you and I had had a discussion about your gun earlier that day. I explained to her that Sophia is innocent. That she had nothing to do with that shooting"

"So that's why she said I had been irresponsible and she was so mad at me. But tell me, how did she react when you told her it had been you?"

"Shocked and a little relieved I think" was all Michael could come up with.

"Relieved? How could you say that?" Dempsey wondered.

Michael shrugged his little shoulders.

"I couldn't blame her. I already have a criminal record"

"This is ridiculous. That you shot your own father is even worse as that she thought that it could have been Sophia who did it"

"I don't think so. Sophia is your daughter. I'm nothing"

Dempsey wrapped his arm around Michael's shoulders and the little guy leant with his head against his chest. Then softly Michael added: "You said you wanted to go back to New York. What about Sophia then? Will you leave her behind here with Harry? Stay out of her life?"

"I told Harry that I decided to take Sophia with me. For 6 months, the other 6 months she could stay with Harry in England. And I will never hear you saying again that you are nothing! You are a very brave, loving and sweet little boy" Dempsey answered firmly holding a hand through Michael's hair.

Michael didn't react. He seemed to be with his mind somewhere else.

"And what about me? Do you had plans to bring me back to that orphanage? Or what?" he finally said after awhile.

"James?" Michael begged when he didn't react. Obvious Dempsey was somewhere else with his mind as well.

"What did you say?"

"I asked you if I have to go back to that orphanage. "

"No of course not. You come also with me"

"Don't you forget something here? That I'm not permitted to leave the country. You told me that over and over again since that shooting. You promised me that I didn't have to go back. But it will be different now when you are not able to give me a stable home anymore" and then when something seemed to cross his mind: "I think that I understand now why Harry always says that she has enough of your promises. Why are you always making them if you have no intention to keep them?"

"I'll do anything to keep my promise to you, you know that" Dempsey started to reassure him, but without any luck.

Michael pushed Dempsey's arm aside and jumped off the bed.

"There's one thing I don't understand"

"What?" puzzled Dempsey looked at the boy who was standing in front of him now trying to hold his tears back.

"Why on one hand you don't have any difficulties with showing Sophia or me how you feel deep down inside. But on the other hand when it involves Harry you always seem to misunderstand her. Is it so hard for you to let her know as well how your feelings for her are?"

"It's a little complicated between the two of us about that"

"Oh yeah? Why? You keep her out of the frontline. Saying that you know what's best for her. But what's best for you? Ever thought about that? Will a return to New York solve your problems? I don't think so. Did you forget what you told me when I asked you about the two years you had spend in New York a couple of days ago? And how you answered that these were the most miserable years of your life. That you missed Harry every single day. Why did you come back? Only out of pity?"

Astound Dempsey turned his head aside. It was hard to realise that Michael was right. But he had still problems to express his feelings. And not only to Harry. It was much easier to show them to the two kids than to adults. Perhaps that would never change as long as he should live.

"I came back because I care about her" was he really managed to admit that for once? Dempsey thought a little surprised.

"Care is not enough. Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her. I told her that over and over again! What's the meaning of this?"

Slowly Dempsey started to get irritated. He came here to pack Sophia's bags and to return to London as soon as possible. In spite of that he found himself having a discussion with Michael about his real feelings for Harry.

"Love. But you can't say these other three words. Can you?"

Michael watched how Dempsey walked over to the window in the corner of the room. Standing with his back to Michael so that he wouldn't have to face him, he said: "What other three words?"

Helpless Michael walked also over to the window. Standing now next to Dempsey he carefully laid a hand on his arm, forcing to face him.

"If it is so difficult to grow up, I think I prefer to stay a kid forever. Have you really no idea where I'm talking about?"

"No, I'm afraid not"

"Why are you not able to say '_**I need you' **_to Harry?".


	113. Chapter 113

With his hands deep in his pockets Dempsey watched out of the window. In the distance he saw a figure leaning heavily on her stick approaching the house. Even from this distance he could see how devastated she looked. Her whole composure expressed a short of helpless, if she didn't have the courage to fight for her wellness anymore. For a short moment he saw her standing still, stretching her back if she was in a lot of pain. Then all of a sudden, if she felt that someone was looking at her, her head turned in his direction. Quickly Dempsey sat a step backwards. Hoping that she hadn't noticed him. But till his big relief she obvious hadn't because, when he carefully looked out of the window again, she was gone.

"You can't say it can you?" he heard Michael asking.

At the moment Michael had asked him that question Dempsey was forced to go back in time. As if someone had started a dia presentation all kind of pictures flew through his head. First there was a picture of him entering the SI10 office that night. Click. Followed by the next one when Spikings handed him the letter Harry had written announcing her resignation from the force. Click. Then another one in which she had told him that she was bored with him and that she never wanted to see him again. Click. Then his little chat with Spikings. Assuming that Harry cared more about him than she wanted to admit. Click. And finally ending with a picture of him kneeling down at the stairs of the National Museum yelling at her that he needed her.

"Well?" Michael asked when Dempsey didn't react.

"I can. As a matter of fact I said it to her. Once" he answered softly still with his mind in the past.

"You did?"

Now it was Michael's turn to be confused.

"When? Where?"

"Doesn't matter"

"But what was her reaction on that back then?"

"That she came back"

"Back to what? To you?"

"To the force"

"You mean that she came back to work? Is that what's bothering you? That if you say to her now that you need her that she thinks that it only will be job related? And not in your personal life? You have still not accept her resignation from a couple of weeks ago, haven't you? Is that the whole point that we are having this discussion here? Are you still upset because she resigned without discussing it with you first? Is that it?"

"Listen" Dempsey turned around to look down at Michael who just stood there next to him with an expression on his face if he couldn't believe what he had heard.

"I still don't like it that she resigned from the force without letting me know first, that's true, but I'm afraid I have nothing to say about that anymore. I'll tell you this about her first resignation: Shortly after she returned to work we started to date. And a few weeks later she became my partner. Not only at work now but in real life too. With Sophia and Little James as the results of that. Well I don't have to tell you how our relationship ended"

"But that was my father's fault! Not yours!"

"No, but back then I thought that maybe she was right. That she deserved much more than I could offer her. Here it is where she grows up Michael. Here at Winfield Hall. How do you think that I could compare with that?"

"But you can offer her the same now!"

Dempsey carefully laid a hand on Michael's shoulder.

"Yes, but only thanks to you. Do you remember that day when we first visit you together in the orphanage and we bought you that football?"

"Yeah. That was one of the luckiest days of my life"

"Mine too. And do you know why?"

Michael shook his head. Of course he had no idea.

"Because in the toyshop we bought that present for you she confessed to me that she had asked her father to give Winfield Hall to her cousins. That she didn't want it when he dies. And that she had already done that shortly after we had start our relationship. Only I didn't know. She had given this all up because of me"

"Wow!" was all Michael could come up with: "How romantically!"

"Why I'm telling you all this in the first place?" Dempsey wondered. If it was at that moment that he realised what he was exactly doing.

"I'm not a baby anymore! I'm already 6!" Michael pronounced proudly.

"Exactly. Much too young for this kind of stuff"

Not reacting on what Dempsey had said to him, Michael returned to the bed with a deep frown on his face to sit down.

"What's the matter?" Dempsey asked: "Is there something else you want to ask or to tell me?"

"You can give her now what you always wanted. Or..." now Michael hesitated for a moment.

"Or what?"

"Is this what you two prefer for the rest of your life? Being apart, together, apart, together. In spite of all your misunderstandings, disagreements, you are always coming back to each other. Don't you realise that?"

"Where did you learn to make these kind of observations?" Dempsey wondered taking a seat next to Michael on the bed again.

"I had to. If I wanted to survive in that orphanage I had to do some observations. When you got involved with my life, the older boys started to become jealous. I tried to ignore him as much as possible but they made very unpleasant comments from time to time"

"You never told me"

"You never asked" Michael defended himself: "Most of the time you were with your head somewhere else. By Harry"

"So when I brought her with me..."

"When I saw you two together, I knew instantly that you belonged to each other. That's why I want you to so badly to be happy. Tell me: did you take that little box with you till here?"

"Box?"

"Yeah. Did you take it with you?"

"It's downstairs in my bag" Dempsey answered absent-minded.

"You see"

Triumphantly Michael jumped off the bed to grab Dempsey by his arm.

"See what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? Don't you see it? What she would say or do, you had never the intention to return to New York and leave Harry! Otherwise you should have left that box behind in London. So where are you waiting for?"

"To do what?"

"Go and see if you can find her. To talk to her"

"Michael? You can't expect me to do that"

"Why not?"

"Well..."

"I don't believe this!"

Furious Michael stamped with his right feet on the floor.

"I do everything to let you realise that you two are mend for each other and what are you doing? You just refused to give it another try. Harry admitted she was wrong. Why can't you do the same?"

With despair Dempsey run a hand through his hair. Deep down inside he knew exactly why he was so afraid to give it another try. If he did, he had to express his feelings to Harry. What must he say to her anyway? Only I'm sorry wouldn't be enough this time. But Michael, who had seen the hesitation in Dempsey's eyes, just took his hand.

"Go" he almost dragged Dempsey by his hand out off the door: "And take that little box with you. I'm sure you'll need it. And for once: be honest with her. Tell her what you have discussed with me this last week. If you are not satisfied with her answer you can always leave. In that case Sophia and I will go back with you to London tonight. Whatever it takes. But I don't want that you two regret it later that you hadn't talk it out. By the way: don't you have to make some phone calls to inform Angela that you found Harry and another one to tell that the plans for tonight have changed? "

A little sheepish Dempsey turned around in the door way. He opened his mouth to say something but on second thought he just closed the door behind him. Taking in a deep breath he leant against it for a short moment of time. It was hard to admit that Michael had been so right. A 6 year old boy! Who seemed to be smarter than the two of them. And he even couldn't blame someone else this time for what he had done. It was his own fault. He had messed up. Big time. If he had only be honest with Harry, if he had only told her everything, if... Too many ifs. Now his own concern was to find her. Where the hell could she be?


	114. Chapter 114

Unaware of the discussion and chat Dempsey and Michael elsewhere had in the house, Harry closed the front door of Winfield Hall behind her and leant against it for a short moment of time. She was exhausted. Not only physical but emotional as well. Tears streamed over her cheeks when she noticed the two bags standing next to each other in the hallway. At least Dempsey wasn't gone yet, she thought. Was that a good or a bad sign? She had no idea. Had he changed his mind or what? Was he perhaps talking with her father? Telling him which decision he had made? With a little bit more hope Harry walked over to her fathers library. Assuming to find the two men sitting and talking there. But till her unpleasant surprise Dempsey wasn't there. Only her father was present.

"Is James not here?"

"No" Lord Winfield answered looking up from the papers on his desk which he had been reading.

"I..." Harry said turning around with the intention to leave the room as fast as she could, but it was too late. The man had noticed the red swollen eyes already and before Harry was fast enough to disappear, he stood next of her.

"Harry? My dear? What's the matter? And don't say it's none of my business this time. What happened between you and James since the last time I have seen the two of you over here? You seemed to be so happy together then. Is it all my fault? Would you have indeed been better off when I hadn't call him to tell him about your condition and asked him to come back?"

The big concern in her father's voice made the tears stream over Harry's face again.

"I don't know what to do anymore Daddy. He said he made a decision" Harry answered with a despaired voice in which all the sorrow she had been forced to go through the last couple of hours could be heard.

"A decision? What kind of decision?"

Softly Harry repeated the words Dempsey had said earlier to her.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but don't you say that you wanted him to leave?"

"But that's before I knew that I had it all so wrong!" Desperate Harry looked at her father who wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders and guided her to the couch in the corner of the room. Then he walked over to the drinking cabinet and filled two glasses. He put one glass in front of Harry and took a seat next to her putting the second glass on the table in front of him.

"Did Michael find you and talked to you?"

Harry nodded her head.

"He did. That's why I realised I accused James from something he didn't do. I should have known that from the beginning"

"Then why don't you talk it out with him?" Lord Winfield asked carefully.

"I tried to but he wouldn't listen. Oh Daddy. What I'm going to do now?"

Helpless Harry run a hand over her eyes. She didn't want to be so vulnerable.

"Why don't you start to tell me first what happened after that weekend you spend here? Because there's more. Isn't it?"

"Daddy! I don't have the time for that now. I have to hold him back from returning to London or even New York!"

"Darling? Listen to me. James will never leave Winfield Hall without saying Goodbye to me first. And he hadn't done that yet so try to relax a little bit"

"Relax? How can you say that? What if he just slips away without noticing?"

"Since when did you become so uncertain about everything? Or has this only something to do with your feelings for James?"

"Daddy. We had such a wonderful week together in that safe house and I expected to continue that when we should return to his apartment but I have hardly seen him since then. Michael told me that what he had been doing was not only work related. What if he found someone else? Someone who's been able to walk in a normal way? With whom he can go out without always has to think if she's capable to it or not. What if that whole decision of him is only an accuse to start a new life with that girl, but that he doesn't have the courage to tell me that?"

Lord Winfield laid a hand on Harry's arm.

"I don't think you have to be afraid for that. Don't you think that he should have driven this whole way to Kent, taking Michael with him when he should have had any plans to start a new life with someone else at the other part of the Ocean? No. When he should have had that in mind, it should have been the perfect opportunity just to leave when you were not around anymore. He is still madly in love with you. I can see it every time he looks at you. Only you don't or won't see it"

"But what had he been doing then this whole last week? What did I do wrong that he just avoid me most of the time?"

"Sweetheart. I don't know. You have to ask him"

"But he won't listen to me anymore!"

Helpless Harry turned her head to look at her father. The more time she had spend sitting on that bench, the more she was convinced that there could be only one reason that Dempsey acted this way.

"He never accepted the fact that I resigned from the force in the first place. But I can't be there anymore Daddy. Why can't he just see that?" Harry blurred out of the blue. For once letting her deepest fear out of her system.

Lord Winfield took Harry's chin in his hand to look her straight in the eyes.

"Have you never consider a job somewhere else in the force?"

"I don't want to be somewhere else!"

"Then go back to it" was all Lord Winfield said.

"I can't. There's nothing that I can do there anymore!"

"There must be something you can do. Have you never discussed this with James?"

"Once. But I don't want to become his waitress. Bringing him coffee from time to time and that's it"

"Harry my dear. Michael said something about a celebration earlier today. What did he mean by that?"

"James will be the new Superintendent of the SI10 from now on"

Speechless Lord Winfield looked at Harry. He lifted his glass up from the table to take a zip out of it. He had expected everything but not this. When he was finally able to speak he said: "I see. Now I understand why you don't want to go back. So he would be your boss, wouldn't he?"

"He will. But since the day he accepted this promotion I can't get it out of my mind that it wasn't a thing he really wanted deep in his heart"

"So you think something else lays behind it?"

"I know him. I know how he hates desk work. And that's what he needs to do from now on. He said he doesn't care, but I don't believe him"

"I can't estimate if he's telling you the truth about that or not. You know him better than I do. But what if he accepted the job because of you?" Lord Winfield asked carefully.

"Because of me?" Harry wondered.

"Yeah. Never thought or considered that?"

With wide open eyes Harry glanced down at her glass. Could that be true? Did he really cared, no loved her so much that he had accepted a job he didn't want deep down inside, only to satisfied her? Words Chas had said to her a some time ago crossed her mind. '_He goes into pieces without you'_. Was he afraid to lose her when he staid a cop in the way he had been before? Some words he had said to her personally not so long ago crossed also her mind '_I try to change, but if I do something you don't like, will you please tell that to me then?_' But what had she done? She hadn't paid much attention at all at these words. She had just assumed that they had been just like that: only words. Now she realised that they had been much more than that. Why had she never been able to read through them? Seen what laid behind them? How could see have been so blind? They had been a subtle way of showing his real feelings for her! Feelings he always had so much trouble with to express.

"If he only accepted that job because of me why..." Harry hesitated a second if she had to focus herself first on what she wanted to add before she continued: "Why did he said to me that he loved me that I had to trust him over and over again during these last few weeks but had he never been able to speak out the words I wanted to hear from him the most? Three words, three simply words he had said to me once before and which mean so much to me?"

Puzzled Lord Winfield had no idea what was crossing his daughter's mind by now. It must be something important because the serious look at her face said enough. The tears had stopped from streaming down in the meantime but the sad look in her eyes was still there when he saw her biting her lip. He wanted to comfort her, but at that moment he had no idea how.

"I needed James so much in my life during these last weeks Daddy" he heard her saying: "I have no idea how I should have coped with everything if he hadn't been there. So no, it wasn't your fault that you called him. I'm glad you did" she was finally managed to admit that "But I should have been so happy if he had also said to me "**_I need you_**".


	115. Chapter 115

Running a hand through his hair, Dempsey knelt down next to his bag and zipped it open. There on top of his clothes laid the little box he had smashed into it at the last moment before he had left his apartment. Had Michael been right? Should he put it in the pocket of his trousers just in case or better not? He was still considering this when the front door opened and Abbott entered the hallway carrying two big brown sacks. By the few of the kneeling Dempsey in the hall way he screamed and dropped the sacks to the floor.

"Mr. Dempsey? What are you doing here? I already thought that it was your car in the garage"

"Nice to see you Abbott" Dempsey reacted, letting the box slip into his pocket.

"Did Lady Harriet come with you?"

"No. She came with her own car"

"Her own? But I thought..."

"You are right. She's not permitted to drive, but she did it anyway"

With a disapproving look on his face, Abbott picked the sacks up from the ground and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. Dempsey knew exactly what he had been thinking. He had thought the same when he had noticed what Harry had done. Bending over to his bag for a second time he took a piece of paper out of it. He unfolded it and stood with it in his hands for a couple of minutes before he folded it again and let it also slip inside his pocket. Remembering what Michael had said to him earlier he walked over to the table in the hallway to pick up the phone and to dial a number. The voice at the other side was relieved when he announced that he had found Harry and that they all arrived safely at Winfield Hall. He omitted the fact what had happened after they arrived. Just hoping that everything would be solved so that nobody ever heard about that. After his phone call to Angela, Dempsey dialled another number. This time it took a little longer before someone picked up the phone at the other side of the line.

"I'm sorry" he said: "I have to cancel my reservation. No. The plans have changed" he added: "Don't know. Maybe later. And I have to cancel that room I booked either. Of course not. You can send the bill to the address I mentioned in my reservation" After a short silence from his side, listening to what the other person had to say, he followed: "Hope to see you soon" Then he put the receiver down and turned around. To his unpleasant surprise he looked straight into Harry's face who had entered the hallway. He had been to occupied with making these two phone calls he hadn't heard her coming. How long has she been standing there? What did she hear? he thought. Quickly he pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. He heard her softly calling out his name. At the same time as Dempsey simultaneous whispered: "Harry"

For a short moment they only glazed at each other. Both not knowing what to do or to say to the other.

"Who were you calling?" Harry finally asked to break the silence.

"Oh I just informed Angela that we arrived safely here"

When Harry didn't ask more, Dempsey realised that she, probably, had only heard the last part of his conversation. That she indeed thought that that last phone call had been the one he had made to Angela. Saying "Hope to see you soon" sounded reasonable in that context.

"James I..." Harry said, nodding her head and looking at the floor now. This was so embarrassing. To admit to the man who was standing in front of her that she had had it all so wrong.

"Harry I..." Dempsey also started at the same time.

A weak smile appeared at Harry's face: "I think we are going nowhere if we continue like this" she added hoping that that would break the uncomfortable situation a little bit.

"No, I don't think so" Dempsey replied with the same weak smile on his face walking up to her. When he stood in front of her he laid a hand on her arm.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" she heard him saying.

"Neither did I"

"Then why are we doing it all the time?" he asked with despair in his voice.

"I don't know. Maybe because we get too much used to it?"

"I had a little chat with Michael"

"So did I"

"I know"

Harry tried to ignore the fingers of Dempsey's left hand which were caressing her right arm now.

"Don't you still have not all your strength in that arm and leg back?" he asked in a way if he had asked her for the weather conditions for that evening.

"Not really"

"Michael told me why you run away earlier today"

"He told you that?"

That was something that came as a total surprise for Harry.

"Yeah. You know something: Sometimes I think that 6 year old boy is smarter than we are"

Harry felt Dempsey's hand creeping higher over her arm to her shoulder till it had reached her face.

"Harry. I know saying I'm sorry wouldn't be enough this time but..."

"I can say the same. I assumed things, I should have known that..." she interrupted him.

Before Harry could continue Dempsey laid a finger against her lips to stop her.

"Let's forget it. Shall we start all over again?" he asked with a small voice if he was afraid that she should say no.

But till his big relief, Harry only whispered: "I would love that"

"Then let's find a place where we are able to talk without being interrupted. I think I know a place that would be just perfect for us"

Before Harry could react she felt Dempsey's hand slip into hers. When their fingers interfered since a very long time it was if an electric shock shoot both of their bodies. Neither of them had realised how they had missed these little expression of feelings. They had slept in Dempsey's bed in his apartment during this whole last week but even there they had avoid each other as much as possible. Wishing each other goodnight but that was it.

"Come on let's go" Dempsey urged dragging Harry out of the hall way.

"James" Harry said stumbling after him: "Not so fast" but shortly after her words had left her mouth she found herself losing her balance. Only the fast reaction of Dempsey who wrapped his arms around her, prevented her from tumbling down. The next moment she found herself hanging against his body with her head leaning against his chest.

"Oops" he mumbled in her hair: "I guess I became a little too enthusiastic"

When Harry tried to free herself out of his grip she found herself even being hold closer to his body.

"Don't do this James" Harry begged looking him straight into his eyes now.

"It feels so good to hold you" he accused himself.

"You can't expect from me that I fell into your arms just like that if nothing had happened" she gave a little snip with her fingers.

"You already did"

"Let go of me. Think on my father!"

"What has he to do with us?" Dempsey wondered still holding her by her arms: "I guess you and your mother..."

"Let my mother out of this! It has been embarrassing enough that I told him about the problems we have"

"You talked to him?" Dempsey asked totally amazed: "You really talked to him?"

"Yeah, what else could I do? He was the only person who were able to help me"

Dempsey narrowed his eyes. He became a little suspicious now.

"What did you tell him?"

"Everything"

"Everything?"

"Yep" Helpless Harry did a step backwards and freed herself out of Dempsey's grip now: "I really thought this time you should leave me"

"Well I had indeed plans to do that"

Had, he said had, not have! Harry thought but she had to know that for sure. "Had? Not anymore then?"

"No. At least not at this moment"

A deep breath of relieve escaped out of Harry's mouth even before she could hold it back which didn't keep unnoticed by Dempsey.

"There has been a little guy who told me that if I should do that, he would never talk to me again" Dempsey answered with a half smile: "I had no intention to take that risk"

"Why do you always have to make a joke of everything?"

"It's not a joke. I'm serious"

"It doesn't sound like that"

With a sad look on her face, Harry leant with her back against the wall now.

"Look. Let's go somewhere else before we start all over again"

"Alright then" Harry gave in.

Dempsey turned around and walked to the front door. To let Harry pass he put a step aside after opening it but then he realised she was still standing where he had left her.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"I told you I know the perfect spot for us to talk everything out. A spot where nobody could disturb us"

"I thought that you meant a spot here inside the building. Not outside! I want to sit down if you don't mind"

"I promise you, you don't have to walk that much anymore. We go to a place where you can sit down as long as you wish"

Still not convinced, Harry followed Dempsey outside expecting that he would guide her to one of the benches in the garden. But in spite of that, she heard him saying: "Wait here, I'm right back" and before she could say something he was away. Where was he up to now? she thought. Even more astound when he showed up a couple of minutes later driving his car which he parked in front of her.

"Your cab is waiting Princess"

Princess? When was the last time he had called her like that? Harry couldn't remember.

"Where are we going?"

"You asked me that already. Remember?"

"Yeah, but you won't answer me" she brought him back in his memory.

"You will love it"

When Dempsey closed the door of the car behind her, he walked over to the other side and slipped after the steering wheel.

"It's not a long drive" he gave her a quick look before he started the engine and drove away.

And indeed, after only a 5 minutes drive he parked the car by the lake. Then he turned around to give Harry his full attention.

"Remember the place?"

How could she forget it? It was the place where they had finally admitted to each other that they loved each other. The place where they had share their first tender and sensitive kiss. It brought back such loving and tender memories.

"That you still remembered it too" Harry said softly. She had never thought he did.

"Of course I do" was all he said, but the look in his eyes said it all.

"Come on. There are some things I have to tell you"

Oh no, what now? Had he had something completely different in mind than she had? Leaning heavily on her stick with one hand and holding Dempsey's hand with the other they walked over to one of the benches. When they sat down, Dempsey was still holding Harry's hand. Meanwhile they watched two swans swimming in the middle of the lake.

"Do you know that swans always stay together during the rest of their lives when they finally found someone?" Dempsey said softly more to himself than to Harry.

"Yeah. And these swans certainly do. I remember that I saw them be together when I was a little girl when I came here with my father. I even dreamed up with names for them"

"You did? How did you call them?"

"I think you don't want to hear that"

"Tell me"

"Romeo and Juliet" Harry finally admitted with great hesitation: "I knew you should find it silly, but I had just found that book in my father's library during one of the vacations I spend here and I found it very fascinated"

"How old were you then?"

"Oh I think 9 or 10 or so. Of course I had no clue what the really issue of the book was back then. I only found it a very romantic story"

"I can't imagine how you would have been at that age"

Harry frowned her eyebrows. Why was he all of a sudden so interested in her childhood? Oh yeah he had asked her many questions about her life as a child here at Winfield Hall before in the past. And she had always answered his questions without any restrictions. In return he had told her about his life as a child and his life as a cop in New York. But this time it seemed to be different.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"I don't know"

There it was again. That denial.

"James? I don't think you brought me here without a reason. What is it? You said that there were some things you have to tell me. What things?" Harry tried to encourage him when he didn't continued only stared at the two swans in the distance. Meanwhile squeezing her hand which still laid in his.

"You talked also with Michael. About what?" Harry tried again.

"Nothing in particular"

"Then why are we here?"

It took at least another 5 minutes before Dempsey finally turned his head around to look at Harry. She also noticed that his left hand disappeared in the pocket with his trousers and that he took a piece of paper out of it which he handed over to her.

"I think it would be better that you read this first. After that, I'll tell you the rest" he said.


	116. Chapter 116

Harry dropped her stick to the ground and started to unfold the piece of paper. Not knowing what to expect. From time to time she felt Dempsey looking at her. If he wanted to see what her exact reaction on it would be. It took longer than he had expected. Had she still difficulties with reading? he thought. Or was it just a composure of her? That she first had to let all the news sink in before she should react? But the longer it took, the more nervous he became. Had it be wrong to bring her here? Would it have been better to find a place inside Winfield Hall as she had suggested? From time to time he felt her hand squeezing his. But if she noticed that? Dempsey had no idea. Then finally she put the piece of paper down.

"You bought my house?" was all she came up with.

"Yes. But as soon as we are back in London... All you have to do is to sign and it will be marked as yours"

"But how? Why?"

With a puzzled look and tears brimming in her eyes she looked at the man sitting next to her. Was this the big secret he had worked so hard for this last week? The thing he hadn't tell her?

"This is not the only thing"

"There is more?"

Now she was really puzzled.

"Harry. I think it would better if I start at the beginning. This won't be easy for me so will you please let me finish first? Before we end up in another argument or that you misread me?"

A little sheepish Harry nodded her head. Unable to speak.

"Alright then. Do you remember that in that safe house I found out that Rafe O'Brien had left me something?"

"Yeah"

"Well. When I returned at the office last Monday morning I got a phone call from his lawyer. Asking me if I could come over to talk to him. So I made an appointment with him for later that day. I had no idea what to expect. Deep in my heart I had already made the decision that whatever it would be that he left me, that I didn't want it. As soon as I entered the man's office and took a seat, the man told me that it was not only Rafe's will he had to discuss with me, but also the one of his son"

"From Benjamin? What do _you_ have to do with that?"

"Me? Nothing. That will has everything to do with Michael. He was his son"

"I thought he had never paid any attention to Michael?" Harry couldn't resist that she had interrupted Dempsey again.

"Yeah. I was as much surprised as you are now. But deep down he obvious cared a lot about his son"

"Funny way of showing it. Oh no. Don't tell me now that you have changed your opinion about him. Not after what he had done to me, to you, to Michael"

"No. My opinion about him hasn't changed. I only realised that when it becomes to children every man has a soft spot somewhere lying deep down inside. If he likes it or not"

"And in your opinion Benjamin also has such a soft spot? You can't be serious. I will never believe that"

"You have to. Because when that lawyer started to read Benjamin's will, he left all that he owned to Michael"

"Ha" Harry laughed with an ironic voice: "That's something Michael would be glad with"

"He certainly will. Because he left him money"

The more then serious look at Dempsey's face made Harry let go of Dempsey's hand and folding her arms before her breasts. All of a sudden she felt a cold creeping from her stomach to her whole body.

"About how much are we talking here?" she asked with a small voice.

"Five"

"Five what? Five pound?"

"No. Much more"

"How much? Five hundred?" Dempsey shook his head. "Five thousand?" Again only a little shaking from Dempsey's head.

"How much then?"

"Believe it or not. Five million"

If Dempsey had really lost his mind, Harry only glazed at him in total disbelief.

"Five million pounds?"

"No. Five million in US Dollars"

Speechless Harry sank backwards at the bench.

"I know. I couldn't believe my ears either when I heard that. I tried to find out where the money came from. But as I have discovered so far it's all legal money. I have no idea how he did it, because, if you asked my opinion, I would say that he collected it with his drugs deals. But there's no prove that could be find for that. Nowhere. Maybe a part of that money even belonged to Rafe and had he stolen it from his father in the past. Probably that was one of the reasons that Rafe had changed his will. I don't know"

"Five million! I assumed you have told Michael this already. In spite of me first. That he's a rich, very rich little boy now! So you didn't talk every night only about the shooting with him this last week, didn't you?"

She sounded hurt and Dempsey couldn't blame her. He would have probably feel the same if it had happened to him.

"Harry. Please. Try to understand that I had no other choice. I had to. He had told me that he had overheard you and me talking with Robert about your house"

"He did? And you used that as an excuse to ask him for the money for my house? How could you do that? I was so thrilled that you bought my house, but now that I know where that money came from: I don't want Michael's money!"

Furious Harry stood up from the bench. But before she could walk away, Dempsey grabbed her arm and pushed her down back on the bench.

"Did you forget what I asked you? To let me finish first?" he said biting his lip.

Harry buried her head in her hands.

"Okay. Tell me the rest. Then we can go back to Winfield Hall!"

Dempsey swallowed hard. He must have been lucky that he had brought her here and not staid at Winfield Hall. Now she had to stay and could not run away. Hopefully she would understand him after he had finished his whole story and not run away afterwards.

"Of course Michael has no idea what 5 million means. If I had told him he had inherited 5 pounds he shouldn't have had any idea either. I told the lawyer that I will put the money on a special account for Michael. He will get it when he's 21 or when he want to spend it to go to college but he has to ask me for that when he wants to spend some of the money before his 21st birthday"

"So with other words you have already done that!"

"Not exactly. Michael asked me that he wanted to do something for you. You should have seen him when he said that for the first time in his life there were some people who cared about him. That he felt welcome, at home. That he had never felt how it would be to belong to a real family. I know he told us something like that before these last weeks but this time it was different. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel him trembling when tears run over his face and I heard him whispering somewhere against my chest: "Don't leave me. I need you".

Two tears run over Harry's cheeks now. She could imagine how Dempsey had felt when Michael had said these words to him. Words she so desperately wanted to hear Dempsey saying to her as well.

"So I asked him what he wanted to do then when he wished he could do something for you. I had no idea first that he had this in mind but some time later he tried to find out if the money would be enough to let me buy that house of yours. I know that I answered: "Yes, I thinks so" and that he answered: "Let's do it". He has really no idea how much 5 million is. And that he won't even missed the money I spend on that house of yours. That's how it went"

"For that, I assumed, you have also talked to Robert? I guess he wasn't very pleased"

"No you can say that. Of course he had hoped to deal for that with you, not with me"

"Then he would have received more than he had asked for. Because I would have given in much easier. Only to satisfied him" Harry assumed.

"Exactly"

"Don't tell me you gave him your special treatment"

"Me? You know me"

"Yeah. I was already afraid you would say that. Especially because Robert doesn't believe that I'm not able to walk in a normal way anymore"

"Harry. Sweetheart. I didn't do anything else than to offer him the price he wanted and that's it"

"And you want me to believe that? You can't stand Robert. And that's the smoothest version of it"

"Even if I had wanted to give him my special treatment as you pronounced it so sweetly, I couldn't. There were three other people present in that room when I made him that offer. So I behaved myself, but I must say if that people hadn't been there..."

"Spare me the details" Harry throw her hands in the air out of pure frustration. Must she still be happy now that she had still her own house to go back to if she wanted? She had no idea anymore. So much had happened since she had approached it for the last time several months ago in the meantime.

"There are two more things I need to tell you" she heard Dempsey saying cutting through her thoughts.

"There is? What the hell have you done more I don't know about?"

"Worked at our future"

"Future? But you said earlier..."

"Forget what I said earlier" he interrupted her.

"I haven't tell you yet what Rafe's will was saying"

"Oh know. Not more money..."

"Relax. No this time it wasn't money. But it's a bit connected to it"

"Why do you always have to speak in mysteries lately? I thought I knew you, but now I get the impression I don't know you at all!"

Just ignoring what Harry had said, or didn't even realise she had said, Dempsey continued: "When that lawyer read Rafe's will I wasn't hardly paying any attention to it anymore. That man had to tell it me twice before I realised what he had said to me. Harry..."

Turning around to her completely now, Harry started to fear the worse.

"Rafe left me that safe house. That house you and the kids felt so comfortable in and that you love so much is mine now"

"Yours? He left that to you? Why?"

"It turned out that he had followed me over the years. How I became a cop, my career at the NYPD, the contract Coltrane put on my head, my transfer to the SI10 and even my relationship with you here in London. I guess that Benjamin has something to do with that as well. But anyway: you know that I'm not very thrilled about that house, but the three of you seemed to like it there. And it has all the comfort for you we can imagine. A swimming pool, a gym, no steps, a big garden for the kids to play with. In brief all we can come up with"

"Oh yeah? And how do you thought you could effort that? That house will cost a small fortune to maintain. I don't have a job anymore. Remember? Or..." Harry waited a second before she was able to speak again: "Or do you think when you make me this offer to live in that house I'll return to the SI10?"

"No. Not anymore. I admit I have still difficulties with not having you around there, but I'm convinced by now that you have, probably, made the right decision back then. Besides..."

Did it become a habit now that they both stopped in the middle of a sentence?

"Besides what?"

"I feel so guilty that I had to leave you for most of the afternoon. If I hadn't done that and staid with you... I should have been around when you overheard Dave and Fry discussing the shooting outside the safe house, but there were a few things I had to talk about. Things that needed to be discussed first, before I could accept my new job. But believe me, we can permit that house. I worked that out in the meantime. If you believe me or not, you don't have to be worried about that" He had no intention to tell her how he would be able to effort the house. Not if she won't ask.

"This afternoon? You had to discuss it with them this afternoon? But I thought that everything had been sat and done already?"

"Not everything. That's why I had some talks with the Commissioner. It had been something that had crossed my mind since that lawyer talked to me. But that man upstairs wasn't so thrilled with my idea. When Gordon and I finally had been able to convince him and we could start to celebrate and I wanted to tell you the wonderful news, I had to find out that you were gone"

"Gordon? Since when are you calling him by his first name?"

This has only happened once before and now... It seemed if Dempsey had no difficulties at all anymore with using that name.

"Gordon and I had discussed it over and over again during this last week. You can be mad at me now because I had done it again. Just like next time"

"Do what?"

"Not informing you"

"Informing me about what?"

"Last time when I did that it turned out to be wrong. Afterwards I realise when it had turned out wrong again that this time probably I would have lost indeed everything I owned but I was lucky enough that it turned out well. At least as much as I hoped for"

"I'm sorry. But I have no idea where you are talking about here"

"That I wanted to surprise you. The last time I did that I was send back to New York remember?"

"Oh that great surprise of yours? That was more a shock in my opinion"

"Well I hope that this wouldn't come as a shock to you: Gordon and I have signed an agreement"

"Agreement? About what?"

Dempsey took Harry's chin in his hand so she couldn't do anything else than to look him straight in his eyes.

"Gordon came back on his decision to take a full early retirement"

"Oh no!" Harry cried out knowing what that would mean. Seeing Dempsey continuing his career as a cop within SI10. Being worried every time he had to go out. Worried that someone should visit her with the message that he died during his hours of duty.

"No that's not what I mean" Dempsey took one of her trembling hands in his knowing exactly what she had been thinking.

"Then what do you mean?" Harry asked with a voice she didn't recognised as her own anymore.

"I mean that Gordon will work three days at the office and that I'll be present the other four days. We'll share the Superintendent job. They will only call me on my days off if it is absolutely necessary"

With her eyes wide open Harry stared at Dempsey's face. She had expected that he was joking again but all that his eyes said was he was dead serious.

"I do it for you Harry. I'll work on Monday till Thursday and then have the weekend off. The next week I have to work the weekend but it can be arranged that that will change if you, or one of the children, need me during that weekend"

Tears started to stream over Harry's cheeks now. She couldn't hold them back anymore.

"I never thought you would do that for me" she sobbed heavily leaning with her head against Dempsey's shoulder now making his shirt wet, but they didn't seem to notice it.

Dempsey's hand caressed her back trying to comfort her till the sobs became weaker and she was able to look at him again.

"The only think I want is to be with you Harry. With you and the kids. I have missed so much of Sophia's life already. I don't want to become a father who she will only remember later as a man that had never been around when she needed him. And Michael... He also needs a mother... and a father"

After Dempsey had said that he became a little nervous.

"What is it?" Harry lifted his hand up to lay it against his cheek. Softly caressing it she added "Are you maybe a little surprised about yourself?"

"Surprised? What do you mean?"

"That finally after all these years you had been able to show me your real feelings? You see, it wasn't so hard after all. Was it?"

"If my mother could see me now..."

"Oh yeah that's what I wanted to ask you over and again these last few weeks: what did you mother say when you told her that you wanted to return to London. To me and when she found out that she had a granddaughter?"

"I didn't tell her"

"What? You didn't tell her that she has a granddaughter? After whom did you thought I named her then?"

"Harry? I couldn't tell her that! She was already devastated that I planned to go back to England. Just as she hoped that I would stay in the US forever. How do you think she would react as I had told her that I had a son who passed away shortly after his birth and a have a daughter who's still alive?"

"But she would be thrilled to hear that she has a granddaughter"

"Exactly. The following thing is that she wants us to come over to show Sophia to her"

"Is that why you said you wanted to go to New York?"

"Part of it yes"

"Then we go as soon as I get permission to fly"

"You mean that?"

"Of course I mean that silly"

"Sweetheart? What I said before: that Sophia and Michael both need a father and mother. I didn't say that without a reason"

"I know that, we can only adopt him if we become a family. Which we are now, don't you think so?"

That nervous look Harry had seen before in Dempsey's eyes was back again.

"There's something else. I can see it. What is it?"

"Harry? Did you hear what I said when I made that phone call?"

"What phone call?"

"In the hallway?"

"I heard you saying something like: "Hope to see you soon" I believe. Well we will see Angela soon so..."

"I didn't say that to Angela"

"Not? To whom then?"

"Because I knew how much you hated it to go to that party in the first place, I had planned something else for tonight. Only Gordon and Chas knew about it. But after an hour or so you and I should have left and I would have brought you to a small restaurant. There we should have had an informal diner just the two of us. After that I had booked a room in the Park Lane to be together just as that first day we met. Remember? Only then you refused to share a bed with me. I hoped that tonight it would have been different. I even bought a package of condoms" he added with a grin: "And no I didn't book the honeymoon suite this time but maybe it would have been a wise idea if I had done that after all"

"I ruined everything for the both of us by running away. Didn't I?"

A single tear escaped of her eyes and run down over Harry's cheek. He had planned a romantic evening for both of them! She had never thought he should be that romantic. But what were his last words? Didn't he say something about a honeymoon suite?

"Harry. I suppose I have told you everything now"

"I think that when I lay in bed tonight my head is still spinning around to let all the news sink in you have told me"

"Then there's one other thing you have also let to sink in, but I hope you don't need too much time for that"

"And that is?"

"I had planned a more romantic way to do it but..."

Harry saw his hand disappearing for a second time in the pocket of his trousers. Oh no, not another letter. She had enough of them for the rest of her life. She couldn't figure out what he was holding in his hand, but it wasn't a piece of paper this time. She knew that for sure. It was smaller. Something he could hide in his hand. Not realising what he was up to, she saw him standing up. She wanted to follow him expecting that he wanted to go back to the car, but he laid a hand on her shoulder not to do so. With a puzzled look on her face she looked up at him.

"Harry? Sweetheart. Princess" he stood in front of her now. With two clinched hands. And he seemed to be even more nervous as he had been before. Why? She had never seen him like this before. Did he feel a little embarrassed about the fact that he had let his real feelings out for once? Or was it something else? Then, all of a sudden, before Harry realised it, she watched him kneeling down on one knee in front of her.

"Harry?" she heard him saying: "Okay?"

"Okay? Okay what?"

"Well you know"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know" she answered looking him in the eyes. Eyes in which she saw lying so much love she had never noticed in before. It made her shiver.

Taking her left hand in his he whispered softly: _"I need you!... Will you please marry me?"_ At the same time he opened the box, turned it around to show her the most gorgeous golden ring, with a little diamond in the middle, lying on a small bed of black velvet, she had ever seen in her entire life.


	117. Chapter 117

He had done it! He had said the three words to her she wanted to hear the most. And even more. He had asked her to marry him!

In Dempsey's idea it took hours, but it would have possibly taken only seconds before she bended over to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Yes!" she yelled: "Yes of course I will marry you. You idiot"

The little kiss of Harry soon turned out to become a more passionate one. Followed by some others. Till it was Dempsey who finally broke the kisses off. Disappointed Harry tried to get her composure back. Her cheeks were glowing and she felt if she had reached the 7th heaven.

"Let's make it official then" he said, taking the ring out of the box and slipped it around the ring finger of her left hand.

"I know, it belongs at your right hand. But considering your condition..."

Before Dempsey could continue, Harry's mouth laid on his again.

"This turns out to be the happiest day of my life" she whispered minutes later in his right ear, with her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"I'm glad you say that"

"You were worried weren't you. Worried that I would say No"

"Well I..." he tried.

"No you were not. Otherwise you should have never booked that table in that restaurant or that hotel room!" Harry answered smiling at him.

Dempsey shrugged his shoulders. He was still not used to the fact that Harry could see right through him when he opened up to her.

"I bet you also thought about a wedding day?" Harry assumed. He had it all worked out so well so far that it didn't cross her mind that his answer on this question could be something she didn't want to hear.

"Sweetheart. Let's see first if..." Oh no. A wedding proposal was one thing, but a wedding day?

"All of a sudden you become cold feet Dempsey?"

Calling him Dempsey again after she hadn't done that in a very long time made that he started to feel real uncomfortable. He knew that she wanted to have an answer of him now. But when he looked at her face, he saw the grin that crept over her face.

"Pfff. For a moment I thought you meant it!"

"I do"

She meant it! She wanted him to set a date!

"Harry I don't know if..." he started carefully, standing up, stretching his legs and taking a seat next to her on the bench.

"James. Now that I'm engaged, I want to be married as soon as possible. Try to understand that and to see it from my point of view. Since I got that stroke, I had so much time to think about things. Things that seemed to be important before are not so important to me anymore. In that way it had changed my life as well. Believe me, I would have given anything up if I would be able to walk properly again. Even if it would be for one single day. But for the time being, I know that that will not happen. "If" it will ever happen again. I have to learn to live with that. And so have you, Sophia and Michael and all the others who cared about me. But there's one thing I'll never give up and that's my love for you. You have no idea what it means to me that you said that you need me. I know, you have said that to me once before. But I always got the impression that you said that only to get me back at the SI10 office. Back to work"

When Dempsey opened his mouth to say something, Harry laid a hand on his arm.

"Please. Let me finish first. Now I know that you really meant something else with it. That you need me in your personal life. All these weeks when I laid in the hospital and later in the rehabilitation centre, I was always afraid that you should return to New York because there was not much left anymore that I could offer you. And when you said to me earlier that you indeed wanted to leave, I thought that my biggest fear became reality. That little chat with Michael and that talk with my father later had opened my eyes. Life can be over in just a second. I realise that now and I'm afraid that when something happens to me again, I would have never experienced the fact how life could have been married with you. If I had it wrong. I mean, if we discover that we got married too soon, we can always split up if there will be no other way, but I don't want a life in which we are together, apart, together as in the past two years anymore. So please James: will you for fill my dream?"

Tears were brimming in Dempsey's eyes when he heard Harry saying these words. She had open up to him as she had never done before. How could he be so cruel then not to make her deepest wish come true? What if indeed something should happen to her? It was always possible that she had to overcome another stroke, could he live with the fact then that she, perhaps, should die without having experienced the life of being his wife? Could he do that to her? After all she had forced to go through already? No. He knew he couldn't.

"What..." he had to clear his throat first to continue: "What do you have in mind?"

"What do you say before the end of the year?"

She didn't look at him when she added: "Then we have plenty of time to organise everything. But I don't know what your opinion is about it, but I'm not in the mood for a big wedding. I had one once before more because Robert wanted one. So he could show all his family and friends how he had married a Lady. But I hated it. This time I want something different. Only our closest family and some really good friends. If you can find yourself in that of course"

"Sweetheart? Even if you want to have a secret wedding. Only you, me and the kids, I should have nothing against it"

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I mean it"

With a dreamy look on her face Harry said: "Has you mother ever flown before in her life?"

"Flown? Yes, once. Why are you asking that?"

"Wouldn't it be great if she could come over for the wedding?"

Not knowing what to say, Dempsey could only looked at Harry before he cupped her face in both of his hands: "You are an incredible woman. Do you know that?"

"I know" Harry answered obvious very convinced about herself.

"Grrr" was all Dempsey could answer to that, before his lips softly touched hers.

After awhile, it was Harry this time who broke their kissing.

"Let's go back to the house and tell the others the good news"

"Good idea"

When they both stood up from the bench, their hands clapped together in a more than natural way. Dempsey was playing with Harry's engagement ring. Turning it round and round between his fingers. If he still couldn't believe that he had done it: asking the love of his life to marry him. When Dempsey turned around they noticed something else. The two swans, Harry had named Romeo and Juliet in the past, were now sitting next to each other at the shore of the lake. Gazing at them with, what seemed to be, a meaningful look.

"Do you think what I think?" Dempsey whispered in Harry's ear: "Are we getting here our first approval for our wedding? Or what?"

"I don't know. Maybe"

With a big smile on both of their faces, Dempsey and Harry returned to his car and drove back to Winfield Hall.


	118. Chapter 118

_4 months later_

Since the moment that Dempsey and Harry returned to Winfield Hall and they had told Lord Winfield and the children about their engagement, it seemed that they hadn't had any free moment anymore. They had moved into the house Dempsey owned now, that former safe house. They had redecorated it to make it their own, and in fact it turned out to be the only place in their hectic lives where they could be themselves. And they both tried to keep it that way. They had even picked Tommy, the little rabbit and a friend of him up, before they had moved in. Sophia had been thrilled, she had never forgotten her little friend and now he was with her. Dempsey and Harry thought both that that has been a wise decision to make, now they had so much space for the rabbits in the garden. The family had also used the swimming pool, inside the house, twice together. And the children got in the meantime used to it that they were only permitted to be around the pool in the company of Harry or Dempsey. They also knew, when they would cross that line, the pool should be closed for them.

Two times a week Harry was still following physiotherapy at the rehabilitation centre. She made some progress, but her right leg was still hurting like hell from time. Especially when she did too much with it, she had to regret it later. The thing that frighten her the most was that they couldn't give her any guarantee anymore that that would ever changed. Besides her exercises in the rehabilitation centre she worked an hour a day in the private gym of their house and Dempsey joined her there as much as possible. Mostly only to be there with her to encourage her not to give up when the only thing she wanted to do was to sit down in a corner and cry. More than once she had yelled at him that he had to leave her alone, to find someone else, another woman with which he could go out with without that he had to think always at her condition first. Then he had yelled back at her that he didn't want someone else. That he only wanted her in his life, but more and more Harry got the illusion that they started to live on a time bomb. A bomb that could explode every minute. For Michael the situation became a bit more relaxed. Yesterday they had received the, signed, papers of his adoption back. Much faster than they had both expected. Probably the Commissioner had pushed a few buttons to speed up the whole progress a little bit. The only thing that was missing in their life as a real family now, was their marriage. But they had had hardly time to pay attention to it. In spite of all their good intensions and agreements they made when they got engaged.

Harry buried her head in her hands. This morning they had got the worst outburst everr. Sophia had been crying most of the night because she didn't feel well. Probably she came up with the flue. Two times she wanted to stay up to go to her, but every time Dempsey had hold her back and was gone before she could react. Then she heard him talking to his little girl, trying to comfort her. At one side she was happy that he did that for her, but on the other hand she couldn't get the illusion out of her head that he was so afraid that something would happen to her, that he was wrapping her in some cotton wool. Only to protect her. It started to make her crazy.

"I understand that you are doing your best, but it's not working this way!" she had said to him at the breakfast table.

"What do you mean?" he had answered, cutting a slice of bread in some parts for Sophia.

"You don't have to handle me with kid gloves!"

"I'm not doing that"

"Not? You three can go out... but what about me? I have to stay inside for most of the day. The only fresh air I get is when I go outside in the garden if the weather is not against me! Or looking forward to my trips to the rehabilitation centre which will end soon"

With frowned eyebrows Dempsey had looked at her: "That was your own decision. You didn't want to do something else. Remember?"

"But you even don't want to go out with me on your free days! You say always that you have to do some work then in the study! If I had knew that, I should never be agree with the fact that you had furnished one over here! I thought you promised me that you would be there for me on these days"

"What do you expect from me then? That I hold your hand during the day?"

That wasn't fair. Of course she didn't expect that, but now he locked himself up during most of his free days in that room. Even Sophia and Michael had to be silent when he was working there.

"Is this something that stands in your agreement you signed with Spikings? Or are you doing it only to avoid me? Do you remember what I said to you that first week when we returned to your apartment when we left here?"

"No. Reminds me"

"That I wanted to be back in the hospital or even in the rehabilitation centre. We are back at that same point now!"

Angry and hurt Harry had turned and walked away. Half an hour later, Dempsey had left, taking Sophia and Michael with him. So now she was on her own again with even more time to think. And when time passed by, she started to feel more and more miserable. With tears in her eyes she looked down on the golden ring at her finger. "_This_ _turns out to be the happiest day of my life_" she heard herself saying that to him when he had slide that ring around her finger. What had happened with all the happiness she had dreamt about? Slowly the day passed by. Nothing came out of her hands. She felt so sad. Would it change if they finally got married? Or had they made the wrong decision after all? Nine hours later she was so exhausted that by the time she expected Dempsey and the kids back, she was fast asleep. Still surprised that only walking took so much of her energy.

"Honey? I'm home"

The voice that cut through her dreams woke her up. She rubbed her eyes and sit up. The next moment the door of the bedroom swung open.

"Harry? I..."

The first thing Harry saw, was a big bouquet of flowers that appears in the doorway. Then Dempsey's head above it.

"You were so right" he said: "I did it again. Hurting your feelings. I'm afraid I'll never change. To show you that I have really listen to you: I have something else for you" Dempsey laid the flowers on the bed and sat down at the end of Harry's bed. Then he handed her a file.

"I know you have resigned and that you don't want to work for the force anymore, but I have searched the whole day to find something for you to do. I hope you like it"

"What is it?"

"Something about child abuse. I have no idea what to do with it. No seriously" he added when he saw that Harry didn't believe him: "I suppose you have to be a mother for that to understand what really the intention of it is"

With glittering eyes Harry opened the file. Not noticing the big grin at Dempsey's face.

"I will put the flowers in a vase for you" and without saying something else he left the room.

Since that day, things indeed changed for the better between them. Every day when Dempsey arrived home, they talked about what had happened that day at the office. From time to time he asked her for help to solve a case. Every weekend when he didn't have to work, he tried to be there for his family. And if not, they both knew now that there was no other way, but they could live with that.


	119. Chapter 119

_The wedding day__ (part 1)_

The last day of their unmarried life, Dempsey and Harry agreed to spend the day each on their own. Harry had taken Sophia with her where the wedding itself would take place, at Winfield Hall, while Dempsey, accompanied by Michael, had chosen for rooms in a hotel. More for technical reasons then it should had been his own choice, but this way he would be able to keep an eye on his mother who had arrived earlier that week from New York. It has been an emotional reunion between her and Dempsey. When he had introduced her to Harry and Sophia, he had seen tears welling up in his mother's eyes. Till today he hadn't figured out if it has been tears of happiness or sadness. He knew that she must have been sad deep down inside. Knowing that now he had plans to get married, all of her, possible, hope of a return of him to New York turned out to be just like that: hope.

Nervous Dempsey stepped out of the bed and walked to the shower. Now it was the "big day", his wedding day. Doubt started to spread through his whole body. Had he made the right choice to give his life up for a woman? A woman who seemed to be depended off him during the rest of her life? Had he not been better off if... When he took a towel from the standard in the corner of the bathroom to dry himself, he heard how the door of his room swung open.

"James?" a child voice yelled his name: "Where are you?"

"I'm in here" he yelled back putting his robe on.

With the towel in his hand he entered the room where he found Michael sitting on the bed in a black tuxedo.

"Wow, Sport. You look great. Are you going somewhere? But where is your bow tie?"

"I don't know. Couldn't find it"

Oh no, Dempsey thought. It has been a struggle already to talk Michael into a tuxedo. Buying one for him had been a real nightmare. None of the ones seemed to fit him. Or they had been to long or to small. And when they finally had found the right one for him, the little guy had refused to wear the tuxedo if he had to wear a tie as well. Dempsey couldn't blame him for that, but Harry existed on it that he should wear one. Where could Michael have been hiding that bow tie? Dempsey wondered.

If Michael knew what Dempsey was thinking, he felt a little hand on his arm.

"If I were you I should hurry up a little bit. Mike is waiting for you"

A little sheepish Dempsey started to dry his hair with the towel.

"Grooms are always late" he mumbled picking up his white shirt from the chair.

"I thought brides are always late? Not grooms" Michael corrected him with a smile on his face.

"Who told you that?"

Dempsey slipped into his white trousers now.

"Grandpa"

Since the day that they had official adopted Michael, he named Harry's father 'Grandpa" Not that the old man refused to listen to that, but Dempsey got the impression that if Sophia and Michael would have said "Freddie" to him that he would have felt more pleased.

"Come on" Michael jumped of the bed, from one foot at the other.

"You seemed to be a little impatient Sport"

"Yeah, because it always takes hours before you get dressed. Mike won't wait for ever"

"He has to Sport. He's my best man"

"Best man? Where do you need a best man for?"

A grin slipped over Dempsey's face. Both Harry and he had tried to prepare Sophia and Michael for the big day. Telling them everything what they could expect, but they had hardly listen.

"Do you have the rings?"

"Of course I have the rings! What do you think? That I'm a baby?"

"No. I would never say that"

"Then hurry up"

Michael walked to the door and opened it where he bumped up to Mike who just wanted to enter.

"James ready?" he asked looking down at Michael: "Wow you look handsome. If I didn't know better I thought that you must be the groom"

"No. That groom is inside. Taking his time to get dressed!" Michael said pointing with his finger in Dempsey's direction.

"Can you do me a favour?" Mike heard Dempsey asking.

"Sure. What is the problem?"

"Can you see if you can find Michael's bow tie somewhere in his room? Harry murders me if he shows up without it"

Mike turned around where Michael stood in the doorway with an innocent smile on his face.

"Come little fellow, see if I can make you look more handsome"

"I don't know where that stupid thing is" Michael started to defend himself.

"See you downstairs" Mike yelled over his shoulder to Dempsey who was now trying to knot his own bow tie. He had done that so many times before but today was a total different story. After three helpless attempts he gave up and stuffed the tie in the pocket of his DJ. Maybe someone else could help him with that later.

A couple of minutes later he knocked at the room where his mother was staying. After she had opened the door for him, he was almost dragged inside by her. Closing the door behind him she walked over to the table in the corner of the room. He saw her picking up something. Then she turned around to look at him.

"Here" she said, handing him a small box.

"What's this?"

"This is what your father gave me the day you were born. I want you to give this to Harry, your bride, later today"

With shaking hands, Dempsey opened the box. Inside laid a small golden chain with a pendant on it. With a puzzled look on his face, he picked it up.

"I let something extras engraved in it"

He had never seen his mother wearing this chain in her life so he had no idea what to expect. When he turned the pendant around in his hand, he almost dropped it to the floor.

'_With love'_ he read and then a little heart was designed underneath it with the names '_James, Sophia and Michael'_ followed by an inscription of their wedding day.

"Mum? I... I don't know what to say. I..."

Totally confused Dempsey just stood there with the chain in his hand. Since his mother's arrival, he had had the impression that she hadn't been very thrilled with the fact that he and Harry had adopted Michael. He had told her Michael's life story, but he had assumed that she had only accepted the little guy in their lives because of him. That she suspected that they saw him as a replacement for little James. Which he wasn't and never would be. But that she let Michael's name graved on the pendant as well, made him realise that he had had it all so wrong. That she had accepted Michael as much as Harry and he had done.

"I'm sure Harry loves it" he was finally managed to say.

"What about you?"

"I... Well you know me" he wrapped his arm around his mother's shoulders to give her a kiss on her cheek: "Thanks"

"Still not able to express your real feelings hmm?" she suggested, looking up at her son's face.

"Eh..."

"Don't say it. I know you better than someone else. I hope you tell Harry from time to time what you feel deep down inside?"

"Well" Dempsey put the chain back in the box and let it slip into his pocket: "Most of the time I don't have to say anything. At least, not anymore. See knows me better than you do. As I probably know myself"

"I hope so son. I really hope so" was all she said, picking up her coat from the chair: "Let's go. Don't let that remarkable lady of yours waiting"

When they arrived downstairs at the hotel, Mike and Michael were sitting next to each other in the lobby. Till Dempsey's relief Michael was wearing his tie but the look on his face said it all.

"You look now really as my pageboy" At the last moment Dempsey could resist the attempt to run a hand through Michael's hair.

"Where is your tie? That's not fair! You ordered me to wear it and..."

Mike's hand was just in time to grab the little guys hand to prevent him for unfasten his tie.

"Mine is in my pocket" Dempsey declared: "I'll fasten it later"

Only being half satisfied with that answer, Michael walked in front of the adults out of the hotel where a white Rolls Royse was already waiting.

"I had some difficulties with mine" Dempsey confessed when he and Mike let the two others stepped inside the car first.

"Cold feet?" Mike suggested.

"No. More shaking hands"

"I'll help you out when we are at Winfield Hall"

"Thanks"

The drive to Winfield Hall took longer than expected. So long in fact that both Mike and Dempsey started to get worried.

"Does it take any longer now?" Michael asked looking out of the window: "I knew it. Weddings are shit"

"Michael!" Dempsey warned him: "I don't want you to use words like that"

Michael sank a little deeper into the cushions in the corner of the limo mumbling to himself.

"Maybe we are not Rolls Royse types" they heard him saying: "Why couldn't we just use your car? Or even Harry's?"

"Because this a special occasion Sport. And by a special occasion belongs a special car!"

"Yeah, and if we won't turn up on time, Harry thinks that you walked out of it!"

Oops. Sometimes they say that elderly people and children tell you the true. Well Michael had done that so many times before. Could he be right now as well? Would Harry think that he would let her down? On her wedding day? Only the thought of it made him shiver. He had assumed her over and over again that he would never let her down. And now... Worried he bend over to the driver behind the steering wheel.

"If you don't mind... I want to be on time on my wedding day" he tried not to become angry.

"We just take a shorter way" the man answered turning a corner with so much speed that Dempsey tumbled backwards in the cushions.

"In one piece if that would be possible"

This was not a Rolls Royse driver. This was a man who was used to drive racing cars! Dempsey thought when the man turned around another corner with high speed again. Before Dempsey realised where Michael had been up to he had grabbed the drivers shoulder and said: "Just for the record: James is a cop. A very good cop. So don't play games with him! Do you understand what I mean?"

Astound the driver looked in his back seat mirror. For a short moment his and Dempsey's eyes met before the man paid his full attention at the road again.

"I get the message loud and clear" he said quietly.

Dempsey didn't look at his mother when Michael had said these words. Knowing that she wouldn't understand why Michael had said them to that driver. But for Dempsey it was clearly that Michael stood up for him as he had done so many times these last months for the little guy. His mother probably thought that she had been right all the time. That Michael was an ill-mannered guy. He would try to explain Michael's behaviour to her later. But Michael's words seemed to have had some effect. After another 10 minutes drive, the Rolls entered the ground around Winfield Hall. At the steps in front of it, they saw Chas standing looking at his watch.

"That I had to wait endless at you and Harry at my wedding day with Alice is one thing, but that you even had the courage to show up late at your own..." Chas said, shaking his head when he opened the door of the Rolls.

"It's a long story" Dempsey answered, helping his mother out of the car. She looks a little pale. Not surprisingly after that unpleasant trip that laid behind them.

"Harry started to become nervous"

"That's typical for a bride"

"And since when do you know everything about weddings? Are you not a little bit too young for that?" Chas suggested looking down at Michael who run a hand along his trousers to give himself a composure.

"Please. Don't listen to him" Dempsey suggested with a weak smile: "I don't know what's the matter with him today, but he had been recalcitrant since the minute he woke up"

"I'm not recalcitrant"

"Yes you are and besides: you don't even know what the word means Sport"

"What does it mean then?"

"You see"

"Grr" with stamping feet's Michael disappeared inside the house.

"He's just nervous" Mike suggested, taking Dempsey's mother's arm to guide her inside the house.

"He's nervous? What about me?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Dempsey run up the few steps in front of the house. In the hallway he bumped up at Spikings and Angela. Lord Winfield was nowhere to be seen. Excusing himself by the others, he wanted to walk to the rooms he and Harry shared when they were at Winfield Hall, but a hand on his shoulder hold him back.

"Where do you think _you_ are going?" Mike said.

"I have to see Harry"

"Oh no, you don't. I'm sorry, but you have to wait to see her till the ceremony starts. Seeing her before that will bring bad luck. And I'm sure you don't want that. Do you?"

Michael, who just passed them when Mike had said these words, stood still for a second. His head switched between Mike to Dempsey and then back to Mike.

"You see. I told you. Weddings shucks"

Dempsey opened his mouth to reply on it, but Michael had walked away already.

"Why do I get more and more the impression that he doesn't like this day?" Mike suggested: "Or is it just me?"

Dempsey had no idea anymore why Michael behaved like this. Lay there perhaps something else behind it? Something he didn't know about? When all the guests moved to the library to get something to drink, he tried hard to keep some conversations going. But he found it very hard to concentrate himself. Till his big relief it didn't take long before Angela also arrived at the scene, announcing that the bride was ready. When all the guests were gone outside, Angela closed the door, leaving Dempsey and Mike behind.

"Where's that tie of yours?" Mike demanded.

"Tie?"

"He, hello. Earth to James Dempsey, where are you? You seem to be miles away with your thoughts?"

"I'm sorry, I..."

"I think it's time for some pep talk here"

Mike walked over to the table in the corner of the room, filled two glasses and walked with them in his hands back to Dempsey. Handing one glass and taking a zip out of his own Mike frowned his eyebrows before he started to speak.

"I can imagine that you don't know if you had made the right choice to marry Harry today. That you even have doubts that you do the right thing, but believe me you don't have to have them. She loves you. She loves you with all her heart. The two years that she had been separated from you had been very hard for her. Of course we all know just a small part of it. She didn't want to bothering each one of us with her problems. I am sure you know what a hard cookie she can be from time to time. Not only for us but even more for herself. I can safely say that she only survived these last months, during the time after her stroke, because of you. You were her life support. Her stabiliser. Without you having here back in London, we should have lost her. She would never admit that. To nobody, but it's true. For that you know her even better than I do. She had been married before. But what I heard from Angela, it hasn't been the most wonderful time of her life. I'm convinced with you, it will be a total different story. So all I wanted to say actually is that you can clenched your fingers that she had accepted your wedding proposal. You will get the most loving, most remarkable woman in the whole wide world. Well I guess, except from Angela of course"

Taking another zip out of his glass, Mike waited impatiently how Dempsey should react at all his words. It took some time before Dempsey had let all Mike's words sink in.

"I know Harry is a remarkable lady. Maybe I loved her already from the first day I met her, but I never imagined that we would end up marrying each other" he finally said.

"Be could to her. That's all I ask from you. She deserves it"

With a grin on his face, Dempsey emptied his glass and looked at Mike.

"Thanks"

"Your welcome. Come on give me that tie, before _my_ lady comes after me with plans to kill me too because I didn't bring you to the ceremony on time"

Minutes later, the two men were on their way to the garden behind Winfield Hall where the wedding ceremony should be held. It was dry for the first, and probably only, day that month!

_TBC tomorrow. _

_Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!_


	120. Chapter 120

_This will be the final chapter__ of the story. The only thing that follows is an epilogue in which I'll explain the back round why I wrote this story._

_The wedding day (part 2) _

Seeing so many familiar faces from all the love ones of Harry and him being present this day, Dempsey began to feel more relaxed. If he had felt nervous before, how must Harry feel then? He could imagine that for her it must have been even worse. Even if this was the second time for her. Or just because this was the second, and definitely, the last time for her. He remembered the words Mike had said to him only minutes ago. How lucky he must be to marry the most wonderful lady of whole London. Indeed a real Lady. Literally. And as he had answered Mike: he had never expected to do that. He, a man who grows up on the streets of New York! For once he had to thank Coltrane for putting that contract on his head. Without that he had never been send to London, never been able to meet Harriet Makepeace. And then Spikings. When he hadn't teamed them up... Thinking about that, Dempsey's head turned to the man who sat on one of the chairs in the first row in front of him. If he knew which thoughts had crossed through Dempsey's head, their eyes met for just a second before Spikings gave him a little wink. If he wanted to encourage him that he had made the right decision. A little smile crept over Dempsey's face. Spikings had never separated them for working together. Even not when he discovered that two of his best detectives had started a more than intimate relationship outside work. He could have done that, but he hadn't, mostly to the delight of the two of them who, in return, had tried not to show much of their affection they had developed for each other, at the office. If he had separated them, god knows how it had ended. Probably not with standing here at this moment. Before more memories could fill his head, Angela appeared in the doorway of the house asking if they all wanted to stand up, because the bride and her father were on their way.

Mike stood next to Michael. Hoping that only his present would calm the little guy down. So far, so good, but for how long? Mike thought. He and Sophia were the only kids around. How long could such young children be concentrated? He knew that the bride and the groom hadn't planned a long ceremony. More out of consideration with Harry's condition, but would be even such a small ceremony enough for the two kids to behave themselves?

When Angela opened the door a little wider, all the guests turned their heads around. The first thing they all got to see was Sophia. Dressed in a beautiful red dress with some flowers in her hair and carrying a basket filled with the same flowers. It was obvious that Sophia had no idea anymore what to do as soon as she walked out of the door. Helpless she looked around at all the faces staring at her. Then she discovered Dempsey standing at the other end of the path she had to follow.

"Daddy!" they all heard her scream. If she hadn't seen him in years. Forgotten was the basket in her hand, forgotten were the flowers she had to spread to the ground, she had only eyes for her father. Before Angela could hold her back, Sophia dropped the basket to the ground and run up to him. Dempsey could only do one thing: opening his arms, catching his daughter, and lifting her up in his arms. It was such a sweet, loving picture that most of the guests couldn't do anything else than burst out in a big applause. Sophia's cheek's became red, now that she realised what she had done. Embarrassed she buried her head against Dempsey's shoulder.

Then something unexpected happened. Michael, who had watched Sophia running up to her father, shook his head. Mike and Dempsey heard him saying: "I told you: weddings are a nightmare". Mike tried to grab Michael's arm but was too late. With big steps Michael walked over to the place where Sophia had dropped the basket to the ground. Dempsey and Mike couldn't help that they shared a worried look.

"I have no idea where he's up to now" Dempsey whispered softly to Mike who was still in shock. Must he run after Michael? To bring him back? Or what? But to the astonishment of everyone, Michael picked the basket up from the ground, swept some of the fallen flowers from the ground into it and said loud and clear, so that it could be heard by everyone present: "I'm ready"

For a short moment of time Angela was speechless. They had practiced everything. Gone through every possible scenario but not this one. "Where are you waiting for?" Michael added: "I don't know if you noticed it, but there's a groom waiting on his bride over there. Do you want him to wait on her the whole day?"

A little embarrassed, Angela disappeared into the house.

"What happened out there? Didn't James show up? But you told me...?" Nervously Harry grabbed her father's arm if she needed some support to hold herself together.

"I'll tell you later. Nothing to worried about"

Angela bend over to arrange something at Harry's wedding dress.

"Come on Cinderella" she said: "There's a Prince waiting for you"

Sharing a little gaze with Lord Winfield, Angela picked some flowers up from the table and handed them over to Harry: "Your bridal bouquet my Lady"

"Gel!" Harry cried out. Angela knew how much she hated to be called like that. When Harry took a closer look at the flowers in her hand, she noticed that Dempsey had ordered a bouquet with her most favourite flowers in it. It remembered her at the first time she came home for a weekend after her stay in the rehabilitation centre. He had bought the same flowers for her then. This had been the only thing they hadn't discussed before. Because when she had wanted to bring the subject up, Dempsey had refused to talk about it. "Let that part over to me" he had said to her.

With more confidence as she felt deep down inside, Harry laid her hand a little faster on her father's arm.

"Don't worry. I won't let you walk on your own"

Harry knew exactly what he meant with that. Now that she had to walk that whole path without having her stick to lean on in one hand, she got the feeling that she missed something. Had she been used to that stick so much in the meantime that she felt empty without it? she thought. Unbelievable.

"Ready?"

"Yep"

Carefully Harry took a few steps forwards on the arm of her father till they stood outside in the sunlight. Then she recognised Michael standing with the basket of flowers in her hand. Surprised her gaze went over the people in front of her till it reached the man at the end of the path who was standing there with Sophia on his hip. With arms wrapped around the little girls body.

"That's what happened" Angela winked, seeing the look at Harry's face.

"Wow!" Michael's voice changed from disbelieve till pure adoration: "You look gorgeous! Are you sure you are Harry and not someone else?"

A loud laugh rolled through the present guests. Even someone whispered: "Where did they picked this funny guy up?"

"From what I heard, it's their son. They adopted him" Another one answered.

Ignoring the people around him, Michael started to spread some flower to the ground. Taking care that he didn't spread them everywhere. That way Harry shouldn't have had any problems with walking, or has to be afraid to fall over them. Was him told to do it this way? Harry wondered. Or had it became a natural habit of him in the meantime? Fact was, that she didn't have to look at the ground by every step she made, but could concentrate herself completely at the man who was waiting on her. He looked so gorgeous and handsome in that DJ of him. If she saw it right it was the same one as he had be wearing on their first day Spikings had forced them to work together. To that party where he had kissed her for the first time. Who could have imagined back then that so many years later they should end up with marrying each other in a short moment of time? Focused on Dempsey's face and hanging heavily at her father's arm, Harry approached the love of her life.

At the moment Harry had appeared in the door of Winfield Hall in her red wedding dress, Dempsey became speechless. It was if he got a déjà vu. This wasn't his Harry, this was the woman in the red dress! A dress he remembered so well. Seeing her wearing it at Stringfellows so many years back. Had she saved that dress during all these years? But then he remembered that it hadn't belong to her. That she had changed her outfit with Angela back then. Had Angela lend her dress out to her? The dress seemed to be a little longer than he remembered. Of course, that day she had been able to walk properly. On high heels. Now she was forced to wear tennis shoes all the time. Was she wearing them now? Under that dress? It couldn't be something else. What a great way to hide them. For people who didn't know what had happened to her, nothing could be seen on her except from a little humbling from time to time, her more than concentrated face and her bending over to her left side from time. He was so proud of her that she managed to do this. Only because of him. But otherwise it hadn't made any difference if they had done it the way he had suggested to her. Just a sitting ceremony that would be over as quick as possible. But when he had made that suggestion to her, she became furious.

"No way" she had said: "When I'm marrying you, I want to do it in a proper way!"

After that she hadn't talk about it anymore and he hadn't had the courage to bring it up to her a second time. Now he knew that she must have practiced more than once to do this. He saw some guests in front of him whispering to each other. But he couldn't hear what they were saying, but he was sure that it must have something to do with the woman who was walking up to him now. Only having eyes for each other, Harry squeezed her father's arm a little faster. She had no idea what crossed through Dempsey's head at that moment, but she knew one thing: that she had made the right choice with wearing this special dress. She saw it in his eyes. Eyes in which she could see all the love, tenderness and adoration he felt for her tumbling out. When she finally reached the end of the path, she felt exhausted. It had taken more of her energy than she thought. She watched Dempsey, putting Sophia back on her own feet's and how Michael grabbed the little girl's hand at one side and Angela her other. Standing between them, Sophia looked up at her mother.

"Mummy!" she said with a voice if she expected that Harry would be mad at her now that she hadn't done what she had been ordered to do.

"It doesn't matter Sweetie" Harry comforted her, turning her head to Dempsey at the same time.

"You look gorgeous" Dempsey said, kissing her.

"He! You two are not suppose to do that!" Michael interrupted the intimate moment between the two adults: "You have to wait till you are married!"

"Well let's start then as soon as possible. Then we can do it more properly. Satisfied then?"

"If you take notice from what I said!" Michael defended himself shaking his head.

Taking Harry's hand in his, Dempsey whispered in her ear: "Just ignore him. He's recalcitrant since he woke up"

"I heard that"

With a serious tone in his voice Dempsey looked down at Michael: "Will you stop now or I let you remove from here!"

That finally seemed to calm Michael down. During the whole ceremony he keep his mouth shot. And when he was asked to handle the rings over, he did that with a nodded head avoiding to look at Harry or Dempsey. Placing the rings on the cushion and then stepped back immediately. When Dempsey slide the wedding ring at Harry's finger and repeated the vows which were said to him , he looked Harry all the time straight in her eyes:

_James__ Dempsey. Do you take this woman to be your lovely wedded wife? Do you promise Harriet, Alexandra, Charlotte Winfield and all of us present here from this point forward to support her, to encourage her, to wipe her tears away..." _

Dempsey had lifted his hand up in the meantime to wipe two single tears away which started to roll down over Harry's cheeks. She had tried so hard to hold them back, tried not to become too emotional, but without any luck.

_ To respect__ and honour her for the rest of your days on earth? If so, please answer me: I do_

Squeezing Harry's left hand firmly Dempsey answered: "_I do_"

Then, just in time he remembered the chain he kept in his pocket.

"Wait a minute. Before we continue. Princess I have something for you. Well exactly it's from my mother"

Harry turned her head around to look at the woman sitting in the front row.

"My mother got it from my father when I was born. Now she wants you to have it"

After saying that, he took the box out of his pocket and opened it. "My mother let something engrave in it"

He hold the chain up to show the pendant to her. Tears started to brim in Harry's eyes when she read what stood on it.

"Hold my arms. Then I will hang it around your neck"

Clenching her hands fast around Dempsey's arms she tried to stay as steady as possible when she felt him hanging the chain around her neck. It seemed as it had made for her. Unbelievable. This morning her father had offered her a chain that had belonged to her mother to wear, but she had refused. She had only accepted to wear the long gold earrings. If she knew that hours later... But how should she have known that? Unless? Hadn't she felt a little cold wind blowing through the room when her father had opened the safe where he had saved her mothers jewels in? No. That was impossible. Not now. Not on this day!

Still with tears in her eyes and with her hands on Dempsey's arms her mouth formed the words "Thank you" to his mother.

"You're welcome my dear" Dempsey's mother mouthed back.

Then it was Harry's turn to say her wedding vows. With great difficulties, she was able to slide Dempsey's ring around his finger. On the question if she would take this lovely man to be her lovely wedded husband and to promise to support him, to encourage him, to love and respect and honour him for he rest of her days on earth and what her answer on that would be, Harry could only whisper: "_I do_" Tears were streaming now uncontrollably over her cheeks. She needed Dempsey's handkerchief to wipe them away.

"Then I pronounce you now to be husband and wife. You may kiss the bride"

Dempsey laid his arms around Harry's waist.

"Are you okay?" he asked with great concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine"

Harry saw at Dempsey's face that he didn't believe her. So she added softly: "Really" wiping another tear out of her eyes.

"I love you Mrs. Dempsey" he said then, bending his head over to her.

"I love you too Mr..." but the rest of what Harry had wanted to say, disappeared in a long, passionate kiss between the two of them.

After cutting their wedding cake, shaking a lot of hands, receiving many wedding presents and having talks with all their relatives and friends, Harry sat down for the first time in hours. Her leg was burning like hell. It was if her right foot could fall of her leg any moment. Dempsey who saw her massaging her foot with her hand and noticed the black circles under her eyes knew enough. It would be time for them to leave the festivities.

"May I get your attention for a short moment?" he asked.

All the guests turned around. Was the party over already? they wondered.

"I thank you all very much for attending our wedding, but it's time for Harry, me and the kids to leave"

Some guests started to mumble: "Are they taking their children with them on their honeymoon?" But what almost nobody knew, except from Spikings, Harry's father, Dempsey's mother, Mike and Angela, that there wouldn't be a honeymoon. At least not for this moment. That they would return to London to enjoy their life as a normal family for the upcoming four weeks within the privacy of their own home. After they had sat goodbye to everybody, redressed themselves in a more natural outfit, the newly weds, Michael and a sleeping Sophia left in Dempsey's car.

"Pff. I'm glad it's over" Harry sighed, yawing.

"How does it feel to be Mrs. James Dempsey?" he asked.

"Great. If had known it would have felt so good..."

"Oh no. Let me guess: you should have done it years before!"

"Maybe"

"Grrr. I think I'm gonna murdering you!"

"What? On my wedding day? Dempsey!"

With a big grin on his face Dempsey looked in his back view mirror.

"Did you notice that since I gave Michael that warning, he hardly said a word anymore? To nobody"

"Yeah. What's the matter with him?"

"I don't know. He had been a real pain in the ass most of the day. Hardly keep his mouth shot. Having a comment on almost everything. Even refused to wear his bow tie, but after that warning... He seemed to be a total different little guy. We don't know him like this. So accommodating"

"There's definitely something bothering him, that's for sure"

For a second time Dempsey looked in his back view mirror. Michael leant against the door of the car looking out of the window, but not been focused on everything.

"Hopefully he will talk to us when we are back in London"

But as soon as Dempsey parked his car in the garage of their house, Michael opened the door of the car and ran away.

"Now I really know that there's something wrong with him" Harry said, standing up with a lot of difficulties. "I'm afraid I'm not able to do much more for the rest of the day" she announced.

"And what about tonight?"

"James!" Harry felt a deep blush spreading over her face.

"It's our wedding night. Remember?"

How could see forget that? It had been weeks since that last time they had tried to make love to each other. Both had avoid to give it another try. But tonight? Harry knew that now would be the perfect time and place for it. Hadn't she secretly visit her doctor for that, shortly after they got engaged? She had never told Dempsey that she had done that on her own. Would he be surprised when he heard that she would be covered from now on? That she even got the green light to sleep with him from her neurologist? That it wouldn't be dangerous anymore? Should he be at least a little bit excited? Harry hoped so, because she had done it all because of him. Deep down inside she was still afraid. Maybe after they had made love for the first time since she had had her stroke and it turned out to be wonderful, that she wouldn't be afraid anymore.

Around half past 10 that evening, Harry stood up from the couch.

"If you don't mind: I go to bed"

"I'll be right with you" Dempsey answered watching her how she carefully left the living room.

He had tried to talk to Michael soon after diner. Before he had put the kids in bed, but Michael still refused to open up to him. What the hell could be wrong with him? Turning the lights of in the living room he walked over to the master bedroom. Till his unpleasant surprise he found the bedroom empty. But the door of the bathroom was closed. Had she locked herself up in there? Was she perhaps afraid that he should force her to make love to him on their wedding night even if she didn't want it? He would never do that! He had only said that earlier to her as some kind of joke. Not that he meant it seriously!

Not knowing what to think of it, he sat down on the bed, taking his shoes off. On the moment he wanted to unbutton his shirt he heard the bathroom door opening. Hmmm, she didn't lock herself up. At least that was a good sign. Not looking around, because he didn't want to embarrass her more than she probably felt already, he took his shirt off. The bedroom door cracked, then he heard Harry's voice saying: "James?"

"Harry? I would never..." the words he wanted to say stocked in his throat. In front of him stood Harry, in the most gorgeous, black lacy underwear he had seen from her in his life.

"It's a present from Angela. Do you like it?"

"Like it? How can you ask that? I love it"

"Remember that photographer?"

"Photographer? Do I have to know one?"

"Yeah that one who does photo shoots of women in lacy underwear?"

"Oh yeah I think I remember him. Had he done another photo shoot for a new collection?"

"I guess so. The only thing that ruins the picture here are my tennis shoes underneath them"

With a sad look on her face, Harry looked down at her feet's.

"He, even with wearing them you look gorgeous. Besides; you looked stunned in that red dress as well. I couldn't keep my eyes of you."

"I noticed that. Angela came up with the idea. I totally forgot that back then you had been so impressed with it"

"I have a confession to make. If you hadn't been so drunk that night and fall asleep in the hall way, I'm afraid I never could have keep my hands of you back then. I guess we had ended up in bed together after all. If that would have been a wise idea or not"

Harry nodded her head, knowing that he had been so right.

"But tonight..."

"Shh" Dempsey pattered on the bed.

"Take a seat next to me" he ordered her: "We don't have to sleep with each other tonight Sweetheart, if you don't want to"

"You don't understand. I really want it"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And we don't even have to use condoms anymore"

"We don't? Do you mean that...?"

"Yes. That's my wedding present for you"

"I don't know what to say"

"Don't say it then, show it to me"

"I have to go to the bathroom for a second. But I am right back. Don't go away"

"I have no intention to go anywhere" Harry saw him leaving.

Then she walked to the other side of the bed and crept under the duvet. Within a minute Dempsey was back in the bed room. As fast as he could he removed his trousers and underwear and crept naked next to Harry in bed.

"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked her looking her deep in her eyes.

As answer she wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him. First it was just a little kiss, then followed by a more sensitive, tender kiss. They both had no idea anymore where they were or what they were doing. Now that the moment had finally came, the moment they both had waited for, for so long, they hardly could hold back. Then all of a sudden they heard a knock on the door.

"Don't tell me" Dempsey mumbled in Harry's ear: "This can't be true!"

But it was true. They both heard another knock. A little harder this time and a voice saying: "Mum. Dad?"

Mum? Dad? Did they hear that right? Was that Michael? Calling them Mum and Dad? They must be dreaming.

Rolling over on his back, Dempsey pushed himself up to a sitting position, spreading the duvet out over both their bodies. Pushing Harry's black lacy underwear, which he had removed from her in the meantime, under the duvet as well. He saw her biting her lip. "What if he wants to come in?" Harry whispered: "How do we explain to him that we are..."

"Maybe he just want to say goodnight to us" Dempsey whispered back. Hoping that that would indeed be the reason.

"What's the matter Sport?"

"May I come in?"

Helpless Harry looked at Dempsey: "I told you" pushing the duvet faster around her body.

"Alright then"

The next moment they both watched Michael entering the bed room. He had red swollen eyes and his lip was trembling. Alarm bells immediately started to ring in both Harry's and Dempsey's head.

"Mum, Dad" they heard him saying: "I'm sorry that I couldn't behave myself today. I ruined your wedding day. Didn't I?"

Dempsey stretched his hand out. The little boy looked so small, so vulnerable.

"No you didn't ruin our wedding day. But there is something bothering you. Isn't it? Is it because what I said to you? That when you wouldn't behave yourself I..."

Michael shook his head: "No. I don't like weddings"

"We figured that out in the meantime already. But why?"

"I remembered something when we two" he pointed his finger at Dempsey: "try to buy that tuxedo for me"

"Why didn't you tell me that? What did you remember exactly?"

"That I had been present at a wedding before"

"What kind of wedding?"

"From my real mother and father"

"Your real mother and father? From Benjamin? But as far as we know, he never got married. He got a girl pregnant, suppose to be your mother, but a marriage... I'm afraid I'm starting to get too old for this"

Michael had climbed on the bed in the meantime. Playing with a slip of his pyjamas he softly continued: "My mother and father left me behind on my own directly after they got married. Saying that they went on a honeymoon, but they never came back. That's why I said that I hated weddings. People always left each other after a wedding"

"How old were you then?"

"Two I think. The same age as Sophia is now. When she runs up to you..." he looked at Dempsey now: "I remember I did the same at my parents wedding. I always assumed that they were mad at me about that, that that would be the reason they left me behind"

Dempsey wrapped his arm around Michael's shoulders: "Let me guess, and you thought that we would be mad at Sophia about what she had done and that we should leave you two behind as well. Am I right?"

When Michael didn't answer, Dempsey repeated his question and added to it: "Sport. We have no intention to leave the two of you behind. Never"

"Are you certain of that?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact you did a wonderful job by replacing her. Now I'm starting to understand why you did it. But there's one thing I like to know: why did you name us, all of a sudden, Mum and Dad? We were that a couple of weeks ago already. You know that"

"I think that I was afraid that when I used these words before that you two got married... Well you know. Don't you want me to name you like that?" he said with a shaky voice switching his gaze between Harry and Dempsey if he needed some confirmation.

"Oh Sport. More than anything else in this world we would love to hear you saying that" Dempsey put a little kiss on Michael's head.

"Great"

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah. Goodnight"

Feeling much lighter as he came in, Michael walked to the door and turned around: "Mum, Dad..."

"Yes?"

"If you have plans to do what I think you wanted to do, can you please do it a little quiet? Sophia and I really need our beauty sleep" Michael said with a serious look on his face closing the door behind him.

For seconds both Dempsey and Harry didn't know what to say. Then they secretly looked at each other and busted simultaneous out in a loud laugh.

"When will he starts to act like a boy and not as an adult anymore?"

"Maybe from now on? Now that he has definitely left his past behind him?" Harry suggested. Hoping that that could be true.

"I guess I have to change my motto from now on"

"Change? In what?"

"In "_**life was hard**_"

"As long as you'll drop that last part of your motto for the rest of our lives, I think I can live with that. Remember I'm still alive and I have no intention to change that" Harry waited till Dempsey looked at her: "And certainly not on my wedding day"

"Wise words of a wise lady. Where were we?" Dempsey answered, leaning over to Harry's side to kiss her while his hand crept under the duvet to touch her more intimate. Then their real lovemaking, finally, began.

_**The end**_


	121. Chapter 121

**Epilogue**

_September 6th, 2010_

Now that the story has ended, I thought it would be time to give you a little back round to it which for some of my readers will possibly come as a shock. Otherwise maybe it will also be a reason for him or her to reread a chapter (or even more) to get a better view on the thoughts which lay behind each of them. There is namely a confession that I have to make now: **50 % of this story is, unfortunately, based on a true story. Mine**.

How much that I hate to tell you this, but I have to do it to make this story more understandable: on March 6th, 2009 my own life has changed forever. On that day I got a stroke which had left me paralysed at the right side of my body. They rushed me to the hospital were I laid for two and a half weeks before I was transported to a rehabilitation centre here in Den Haag, Holland. There I had been for another 16 weeks having intensive physiotherapy and talks with almost every therapist you could imagine. During all these weeks I was only permitted to go back to my own home during the weekends for the last three weeks of my stay there.

When I was finally home I tried to start a "new" life which was (and still is) very hard. I wanted to do something with my experiences and to deal with the things I had forced to go through so I decided to write everything down. But how should I do that? I didn't want that it became a too personal story. After weeks of thinking I found the perfect solution. If I used the characters of one of my old time favourite series, Dempsey and Makepeace, and let one of them overcome what I had experienced myself, it would be perfect. And so the whole story started. But as time went by some more ideas for my story crossed my mind. And it became less more personal. It was then when non-fiction started to mix with fiction.

When did the reality end and the fiction started? Well all the difficulties that Harry Makepeace had to deal with after having a stroke are real, even the name of her and Dempsey's daughter isn't a fake, because she was named after the rehabilitation centre I had spend so many weeks lying in: "Sophia". But luckily I never lost a baby, had to deal with a man who was away during a pregnancy, a rape or another man who was after me. I don't have to think of that. Dealing with a stroke and to go through it on my own had been difficult enough. And for the die hearts of D&M (or shall we say Michael Brandon and Glynis Barber) I think I don't have to tell them either where the person by the name of Michael came from!

At the moment that I'm writing this introduction, exactly one and a half year has passed since the day I have had that stroke. Back then I thought I would never be able to walk anymore, to use my right arm, to move my fingers again, to write. To name some of the problems I had to overcome. If I don't do too much after each other (which is still difficult for me. I pass the limit from time to time and have to regret that later being in a lot of pain at the right side of my body) I can live a reasonable, normal life. Only walking. That's still a problem for me. And if that will ever change? Nobody can say or guarantee me that. That's the hardest part from the whole acceptation of my new life. Not been able to walk anymore in a way that was so normal before March 6th. Now I have to think by every step I make, otherwise I loose my balance or tumble down. And I'm only able to walk short distances with a stick in- and outdoors.

Well I hope I have given you all an inside look with my story about how life after having a stroke looks like. And how your life can change in just one split second. Of course, this situation is different for every person. I have seen that with my own eyes in the rehabilitation centre. The only thing I'm blessed for is that I have never lost my possibility to speak. It must have been a real nightmare when you get locked up in your body and wouldn't be able to communicate with the ones you love so much.

In conclusion there's only one thing I want to say: If you ever have to face someone who had had a stroke, don't turn your head around. But be nice, supportive and try to help him or her wherever you can. It's hard enough when you have to ask for help when you are not able to do things yourself anymore. But it becomes even worse when other people say to you: "I can hardly see anything on you. I think you are just simulating that you can't this or that yourself anymore" like Robert said to Harry in my story. It's something that hurts very, very much when you know for yourself that you came from so far already and that you still have a long, long way to go.

Writing everything down helped me a lot. And it's indeed, if I'm permitted to use Dempsey's motto here: "_Life is hard... and then you die_". Well in this case I'm still alive. Although sometimes I think (when the pain in my right side of my body is unbearable), shouldn't I have been better of when I had died instantly on that March 6th? But that's another story...

I thank you all for the reviews on my story. Please forgive me that I haven't react on every one of them you have given, but remember that I read all of them with great interest and that they were all very appreciated. If you like to react on my epilogue, don't hesitate to do so.

_I wish you all a great and healthy 2011. Jenneke_


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